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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2164673-Prologue-Rewrite
Rated: 13+ · Fiction · Fantasy · #2164673
This is the rewrite I came up with in place of the previous one, due to the feedback I got
Hale rested on a massive stone chair, his eyes a pale silver as he looked down at his angels, namely his two first born. Braekus, the oldest angel, was headstrong, very sure of himself, and always assumed himself to be right. Next to him was Cyrus, his second born. Cyrus was quiet and reserved, but had inherited his will and resolve.
Creation stood beside Hale, her body shimmering in golden white light. She looked down at the two calmly, her eyes warm. If anyone was to be called mother, it was creation.
“Braekus… my first born. You have proven yourself masterful at working with the other angels, guiding and helping them. Cyrus, you have proven yourself a friend of the life that we angels have surrounded ourselves with….” Hale said, his voice warm, yet commanding. Both angels bowed their heads in respect as Hale collected himself. Creation put a reassuring hand on Hale’s shoulder. “I have been watching you both since birth as you grew into everything I had hoped. However, my time has come, and it is time for my successor to be chosen.” Hale takes a deep breath, which seemed strange, due to the quietness of the area. Turning his head to look at Creation, he nods.
“Whoever Hale choses, I will transfer the power Hale holds as a creator to them. Once this is done, Death will take him, and the ritual will be complete. It is a very simple process… but it is also the first time this is being done.” Creation explains, her voice filled with an aura of calm and peace. Hale stared at the two of them for a very long time.
“Cyrus, step forward.” Hale said, Cyrus did so, his head still bowed. Braekus looked up, his eyes wide. Murmurs from the angels watching began to break out. Hale raised a single hand and everyone fell silent. “Cyrus, I have decided that you have the necessary skills to succeed me. You will become Cyrus, the Second God.”
“Thank you, father. I will do my best to uphold everything you taught me, and I will work to make it better.”
“That is all I ask.” Hale replies. Creation steps forward.
“Let the transference begin.”

Cyrus and Braekus stood face to face in a courtyard, built just outside of Hale’s home. They struggled to control their tempers and they argued about their fathers decision. It had been only hours after Cyrus had inherited the position.
“Did you know?” Braekus asked, his voice low but his tone full of menace. Cyrus shook his head.
“For the twentieth time, brother, I didn't know I would be chosen. I thought it would be you, and so did everyone else. We should be mourning father, not arguing about what is and what isn’t.”
“That is where you’re wrong, brother. I am leaving. Pray that you do not see me again. I will forge my own path, away from our father’s blind eyes.” Braekus spread his wings and took off into the distance. Cyrus watched, his eyes sad. Shaking his head, he headed back inside.

Braekus flew aimlessly through the expanse of space. He had left behind all that he knew. The further away he was, however the angrier he became. One by one, the feathers on his wings turned black as corruption and darkness seeped into his already fractured heart. They whispered to him, promising power the likes of which he never imagined.
His mind became a twisted reflection of his heart. His wings had become black entirely, his eyes shifting from their original green to a deep red, almost crimson. Using the darkness and corruption, he formed creatures of malice and evil. He named them Abbadon, Zaren, Azazel, and Lilith, the Archdemons. Together, they created a massive hoard of demons, spreading them throughout the darkness.
It was here, that Braekus hatched a plan to overthrow Cyrus, the angels, and Creation. He would build a new place for his children to thrive. He called it the Demon Citadel.

As God, Cyrus used his power to rapidly expand his father’s designs. He expanded the home of the angels, building a city where they all could coexist. The City of Angels is what he called it. Centuries passed and yet, Braekus had not been seen or heard from since. Every once and a while, Cyrus would peer into the darkness at the edge of the borders of the city and hope for his brother to return.
“Father… I have new from the southern borders.” a voice said behind Cyrus as he peered out. Cyrus turned to see Lucifer, one of four brothers who he created not long ago.
“Oh? And what might that be?” Cyrus replied, his tone measured and reserved. Lucifer was hesitant to speak, as if the words caught in his throat would remain untrue if not spoken aloud.
“Mary, Helios, and Sentra were found, along with the surrounding area, their bodies slashed and maimed, their blood watering the ground beneath them.” Lucifer said, his voice hollow and shaking. Cyrus’ face went gray as he sat in his chair.
“How?” Cyrus asked, his tone barely audible. Lucifer shook his head.
“Unknown…. I am sorry I have nothing more to add.” Lucifer stood and bowed, leaving Cyrus alone. Cyrus looked down at his hands. Even without confirmation, Cyrus knew that Braekus was behind this. He didn’t know how he knew, only that his assumption was correct. He sighed tiredly.
“What troubles you, creator?” a voice said. Cyrus couldn’t help but relax. Looking up, he saw Creation standing before him.
“Braekus has….” he was unable to complete his statement as tears welled up in his eyes. Creation nods.
“It seems that I had been careless. The transference between Hale and yourself did not fully work. It seems that Braekus managed to absorb some of the power transferred. With it, he created a new race, known as demons. It is only a matter of time before he begins.
“Begins…?” Cyrus looked at her, confused. She looks away.
“A war between creator of good, and creator of evil. It is with this knowledge that I have come before you. I have a gift from Life, my mother.” Creation holds out a seed, the size of a small rock. Green energy emanates around it, pulsing softly. “Plant this in your courtyard, and inscribe a new directive: Protect Life, no matter the cost.

The war began millenia later, pitting Braekus’ endless legions of demons against Cyrus’ army of Archangels, each angel infused with the power of the Tree of Life creating powerful beings of immeasurable skill. For eons, the war raged. And despite the power the Archangels had, the demon hordes were numberless. One by one, Archangels fell and the City of Angels grew smaller and smaller.
Cyrus and Braekus did not meet until the final battle. Cyrus and his five remaining Archangels surrounded the Tree of Life, their proximity to it, granting them new strength. They held the line, hundreds of demons falling to the defense. Suddenly, everything froze and the demons pulled back as Braekus landed in front of Cyrus.
“My, my Cyrus. You just don’t know when to quit, do you?” Braekus mocked, a sneer across his face. Cyrus shook his head.
“Look at what you’ve done… your brothers and-
“They are NOT my kin. And neither are you. These are my children now. And you are in my way.” Braekus and Cyrus charged on another as the Archangels engaged with Archdemons. There was a single Archangel that remained motionless. Ivan, youngest, but by far the most powerful of the Archangels, began to speak silently, the Tree of Life filling him with even more power as before.
Even as he fought, Cyrus could feel his power draining away. Ivan’s body began to cast a silver glow, as his blue eyes turned pure white. Braekus began to feel the shift too. He commanded his horde to attack. As he did, a wave of energy exploded from Ivan, erasing the demons in the immediate area, and hurting the Archdemons severely.
Braekus was shocked by the attack, giving Cyrus an opening. He disarmed Braekus and forced him to his knees. Tears welled in his eyes as he looked down at Braekus, his smile sadistic.
“Don’t make me do this brother.” Cyrus pleaded. Braekus laughed.
“I am not your brother.” catching Cyrus off guard, Braekus leapt up and pressed his palm to Cyrus’ face. Before anyone could react, cracks of dark energy began to form across his body. Cyrus the turned to ash, moments later. Braekus laughed in delight. But his celebration was cut short as Ivan rose a single hand.
“First there was darkness… then there was light.” Braekus was suddenly crushed beneath a pillar of golden light. Ivan’s feathers turned into rays of golden white energy as the pillar expanded, expelling demons to the furthest reaches of Space.
Ivan had inherited the power of the creator, and he had created light. Together with Lucifer, Michael, Raphael, and Gabriel, they set forth to shape what Ivan called the Universe

Lucifer looked down at Ivan’s newest creation with disgust. He paced back and forth, his irritation rising looking down at them. Karis watch him quietly, saying nothing to his teacher.
“Why them and not us. Why does he love them… more than his own flesh and blood. Does he not remember what we went through with him. Our father-” he bit his lip, refusing to speak about Cyrus. Karis glided over to Lucifer and put a reassuring hand on him.
“You told me once, when i was young, that Ivan is different because of what he did to save you and your brothers. Why can you not trust what he is doing is the right thing to do?” Lucifer looked at Karis curiously. Karis took his hand off of Lucifer. “S-sorry sir. I was caught up in the moment.” Karis said backing away. Lucifer turned away.
“This is too far. Humans… I will put a stop to this now.” Lucifer headed out of the room and Karis slumped down into a chair.
“I have to warn Michael…. This won’t end well.”

Ivan had rebuilt the City of Angels, renaming it the Atrium, while the surrounding city was known as the City of Light. It was here that humans would live once their mortal lives ended. Ivan stood on a balcony overlooking the city. He smiled to himself.
“Great idea, Gabriel. Great idea.” suddenly, he heard the doors slam open. Turning, he saw Lucifer, followed by Uriel and Silas. Michael, Gabriel and Raphael tailed further behind, their expressions full of worry.
“Ivan. Why would you do this to us? How dare you stand there and choose those disgusting creatures over us. And the tell us to protect them.” Lucifer demanded. Ivan stood motionless. He said nothing for a moment.
“To prevent the mistakes of the past. If we continue on this path, never again will a being like Braekus exist again.” Ivan explained. Lucifer however, didn’t buy it. The argument escalated rapidly. It was at this moment that Ivan had realized that creating humans had turned Lucifer into exactly what he wanted to prevent.
“You want us to love and protect these insects, when all we… all I want is to love and protect you, as you did for me, so long ago…. But you have chosen them. So I will do what I must.” Simultaneously, Lucifer and his followers began to pull their angelic blades from their sheethes. Ivan’s eyes turned pure white as he rose his hand. All three angels were forced to their knees.
“It is with a heavy heart that I do this, but you have decided to take arms in this place. Ulric and and Silas, you are stripped of your wings and exiled to walk Earth among the mortals forever, never allowed to return.” the wings vanished off of the backs of the two angels, and they fell. “As for you Lucifer. You have become the very thing I had hoped to prevent. I hereby banish you to the Demon Citadel, in a prison made for you alone, never to see the light… or me again.” there was a flash of light and Lucifer was gone.

Creation watched as Ivan built a place beyond what either of his predecessors had even dreamed of. And yet, she felt that his power, like the light he created, was fading faster than Hale or Cyrus. She had hoped that it would slow down as time passed, but it did not. She sent a small amount of her own power into the Universe, hoping it would find someone to replace Ivan, when the time came. Little did she know that this small act, would change everything.
© Copyright 2018 M.D Buchanan (vardrac at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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