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Rated: 13+ · Short Story · Comedy · #2169631
Being a super-hero isn't all glitz and glamour.
A gloved hand clicked the light switch next to the door. The fluorescent tubes blinked and flickered, then flooded the St Mark’s Church Hall with artificial, bright light. Mel Oxwagon stood by the door wishing she wasn’t there. Tonight she wasn’t Mel Oxwagon. She wasn’t allowed to be Mel Oxwagon. Nor could anyone else who attended use their real names. So there would be no Mel Oxwagon in attendance, no Rich Spencer, no Dave Bracegirdle or Kathy Thompson. Tonight she would be Mega Mask and would spend her time with other costumed crime-fighters like Captain Justice, Kid Phantom and Vortex to name but a few.

She hated these meetings but felt obliged to be there. Especially tonight but she had other things that required her super attention. She had a pile of ironing to do, the new series of ‘The Apprentice’ was starting tonight and there was a tornado about to hit the English Riviera town of Torquay she should really be dealing with. Instead she was about to spend the next two hours sat in a moulded plastic chair around cheap, mismatched tables listening to at least two overly-officious pricks garbling on about nothing, making plans to make plans about having meetings about meetings and complaining about lack of Government support, the bitchy media coverage and the crappy coffee on offer in St Mark’s Church Hall.

The cheap panel doors opened behind her, letting in a gust of air so cold it would have had a brass monkey reaching for the thermals. She turned and nodded at Fire Bane. He looked ridiculous in his yellow and orange lycra. The fact that he was ginger too didn’t help. Ginger people shouldn’t wear orange. It just becomes too much. You don’t know where the clothes end and the person begins.

He wasn’t even wearing a coat.

“Are you not cold in just your costume?” she asked, looking him up and down. He held out a hand and produced a small ball of fire in the palm of his hand before closing his fist around it.

“Not really an issue for me,” he half-smiled and went to sit down on one of the comfier hard plastic chairs around the mismatched tables.

“No, I suppose not.” She turned and walked over to the coffee that had been set out by the nice old Mrs Barnes they rented the room from. The various old and chipped mugs were scattered across the table top, a small bowl of clumping sugar and a jug of slowly warming milk all stood around.

“Look at that,” said Mega Mask, half turning to Fire Bane, waving her hand toward the ‘refreshments’.

“What?” asked Fire Bane, glancing up from his phone.

“She knows full well there are 15 of us but there are still only 10 cups and only one spoon!”

“So?” asked Fire Bane, looking back to his phone, tapping away on the screen, “You’re here first, get what you want before anyone else comes.”

“That’s not the point,” she replied, “Why can’t the old bat put 15 cups out so we don’t have the same complaints by the same latecomers every week? Captain Justice is always late and never gets a cup of tea, and he comes here straight from work you know.”

“Why do you care?”

“Because I’m a superhero, for God’s sake,” she growled, “We care, that’s what we do.”

Fire Bane held his hands up in mock submission before looking back at his phone. Mega Mask turned back to the table and made two teas, letting Fire Bane’s stew a little longer. She knew how he liked it. After all, she always made his tea at these meetings. As she waited she glanced around the room. The usual collection of community posters adorned the walls – toddler groups, some slimming group for men and women desperate to be part of the media-sponsored acceptable to society because I’m thin sect, a summer fair that according to the faded date happened nearly 6 years ago. ‘Maybe they just do it on the same day every year to save money on posters,’ thought Mega Mask. Her eyes settled on a bag and coat in the corner.

“Whose coat is that?” she asked. Fire Bain looked over his shoulder.

“No idea,” he said, “One of the old biddies must have left it here.” Mega Mask squinted, her super vision focusing on the coat.

“No,” she said, “it’s not an old biddy coat. Too stylish. I think I’ve seen it somewhere but buggered of I can remember where.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“And that bag is a designer bag. Michael Kors. Very expensive. Not the kind of bag you would normally see in a community hall.”

“So maybe it’s here for the village fair, for the jumble sale.”

“If stuff like that is on the jumble sale then I’m going to be here, armed with a butt load of 50ps.” She laughed at herself, the thought that she could buy anything from a jumble sale was abhorrent and she knew it. Everyone knew it. She was THE clothes horse of the superhero world, at least in the UK anyway.

“Is that tea ready,” asked Fire Bain. Mega Mask squeezed the teabag and dropped it into the bin, gave the tea a quick stir and walked over to him. He took it without looking up from his phone.

“What’s so interesting?” she asked.

“County are playing tonight, I’m watching the live text come through on the website,” he replied, “if we win tonight we secure a play-off spot.” Mega Mask smiled as though she cared, as though she knew what he was talking about. She presumed it was a football thing. They stood in silence for a few moments, Mega Mask sipping her tea, Fire Bane staring intently at his phone as though by sheer will power he could alter the outcome. Suddenly a look of utter disappointment spread across his face. He muttered something under his breath and put his phone away.

“I hate being the first here,” he said.

“Why?” asked Mega Mask, holding her tea in both hands to get as much warmth from the cup as possible, sipping it slowly.

“Makes me look like I have nothing better to do.”

“I don’t get you.”

“Well,” he started, “being on time for something as crappy and boring as this.” He sighed and gulped his tea, the freshly boiled water not having any effect on his oesophagus.

“Oh, right. I get you,” she said. Fire Bane pulled out his phone again, looked at the screen, rolled his eyes and jammed it back into his pocket.

“But you’re always first here,” said Mega Mask, smiling to herself as she took another sip, know just what buttons to press.

“So are you,” he said.

“Yeah but I only live around the corner,” she grinned.

“and you still drive here? In costume?” Mega Mask shrugged happily and walked to her seat. Her name card on the table said ‘Mega Man’. Inside she seethed a little but decided Mrs Barnes was clearly trying to wind her up because of the unfortunate kitten incident a couple of years ago. They both looked around, sipping and gulping tea respectively, patiently waiting.

“So, busy?” asked Mega Mask after a few minutes.

“Not too bad actually,” nodded Fire Bane slowly, “been a bit quiet since I saved that group of Scouts from that fire a few weeks back.”

“Oh yeah,” smiled Mega Mask, “I saw that. Nice work.”

“Thanks,” he smiled, almost bashfully, “Bloody local MP thinks I started the fire though. Asking for an investigation.”

“You’re kidding,” she said, “Politicians are all the same, complete tools, the lot of ‘em.”

“Trouble is the Daily Mail picked up on it and now I’m having to go on ‘The Wright Stuff’ to explain myself,” moaned Fire Bane, “It’s really hard to swing public opinion back in your favour. I’ll have to do some charity work or something.” Mega Mask grinned.

“I know what you mean though,” she said, “I stopped a speeding car from hitting a kid the other day and the driver is suing me for damaging his car.”

“Unbelievable,” laughed Fire Bane, finishing off his tea.

“Makes you wonder why we bother,” grinned Mega Mask.

“I blame UKIP,” said Fire Bane.

“I blame Brexit,” said Mega Mask.

“I blame Trump!” they both said together. They giggled together for a moment before the unique silence of the empty room gently returned. 20 seconds passed.

“What time is it?” asked Mega Mask, looking around for a clock.

Fire Bane shrugged his shoulders, “Not sure to be honest. I don’t wear my watch with my costume, it isn’t heat proof. I kept melting the workings.”

“Of course. How inconvenient.”

“Buuuut…” he sang the elongated vowel, “I left the house at twenty to so it must be nearly 7, thereabouts anyway.”
“Captain Dynamite is normally here by now,” she said, glancing at the door expecting them to swing open and the red and white clad figure of the newly-elected chair to come sweeping in.

“Don’t you mean Colonel Dynamite,” smirked Fire Bane

Mega Mask banged her palms on the table and erupted in laughter, “Can you believe he changed his name just because he was named as chair of this committee? I mean, talk about an inflated ego, even for a superhero, that’s a bit much.” Fire Bane rocked back in his chair, laughing, trying not to spill his tea.

“What a douche!” he roared, wiping the tears from his eyes, “Did you see the piece in the Daily Mirror about it?”
“I did,” chortled Mega Mask, “that was hilarious.”

“ “If bureaucracy was a super-power then we have a Civil Service full of super-heroes” “ he quoted. They both laughed again, then breathed heavily, and sighed, giggled and the peculiar quiet descended again.

Another ice blast blew through the room as the cheap panel doors swung open and in stomped Kid Phantom.

“Jesus, it’s cold!” he stammered through clenched teeth, his Liverpudlian accent somehow stronger than normal, “I mean, I know it’s January but really?”

“Well why haven’t you got a coat on?” said Mega Mask, she gestured across the table, “Him I can understand but you don’t have his powers.”

“Can’t wear a coat with the cape,” moaned Kid Phantom, “Just looks ridiculous when you’re flying. People just take the piss and I have to keep up some semblance of toughness, especially after what happened to me last week.” Mega Mask and Fire Bane looked at each other, puzzled expressions on their hidden faces.

“You can’t leave that hanging,” she said, turning in her chair towards the newcomer. Kid Phantom sighed and walked over to the refreshments.

“It’s a long story,” he began, grabbing a teaspoon and shovelling spoonful after spoonful of sugar into chipped, faded-floral patterned china mug before grabbing a chair next to Fire Bane.

“Some tea with your sugar?” grinned Mega Mask. Kid Phantom smiled wryly as he lifted the mug to his mouth, slurping a big mouthful.

“Mmmm, luke-warm tea, is there anything better?” he handed his mug to Fire Bane who clasped it in his hands for a couple of seconds. Steam started to rise and he handed to back.

“Careful now,” he said, “Now, we seem to have some time for that long story.” Kid Phantom sighed and took another slurp of tea.

“Well,” he started, “it happened last week. It was Tuesday night and I was on my way home from college. I’d been sat behind a computer screen for about 6 hours working on a major project. Editing, adding sound and all that, it takes a long time and I just worked through.” Another slurp of tea.

“And…” chipped in Mega Mask, smiling across at Fire Bane.

“And, while I was waiting for the bus, minding my own business, a guy across the road snatched an old lady’s bag and pegged it through the park. Course, I saw this and set off after him. Now speed isn’t one of my powers but I said my words to change into my uniform and called out after this guy to stop. This attracted a lot of attention from people in the park. As I ran a lot of people were cheering, kids yelling, all that hero worship thing going on.” Another slurp of tea. A thoughtful pause.

“AND??” laughed Mega Mask.

“Just on the path between the playground, the tennis courts and the bowling green, with a local bowling tournament going on...”

“YES???” yelled Mega Mask and Fire Bain exasperated.

“I pulled a hammie.”

Silence fell. Corners of mouths twitched before breaking into grins, broad smiles and then smirks, splutters and inevitably, laughter.

“It isn’t funny, it really hurt,” said Kid Phantom, trying not to laugh himself, “two old men had to help me to a bench.” Fire Bain slapped the table, laughing so hard.

“An old lady tripped the thief with her walking stick,” grinned Kid Phantom. Even louder laughing.

“The police made me thank her for helping me out. Papers got pictures and everything.”

Fire Bain waved his hands, “Stop, stop,” he wheezed, struggling to breathe through fits of laughter.

“She got an award!!”

Mega Mask was holding her sides, bending forward in her chair. A smile even crept across the face of Kid Phantom and soon even he was laughing at his enforced humility.

The laughter turned to chuckles, the smiles to grins and then with 3 big sighs, the silence returned to the church hall. The wind howled outside, tea was slurped, and Fire Bane grunted heavily after another quick look at his phone. Then the doors banged open again and an officious-looking office clerk stood in the doorway. Under normal circumstances this short, balding, middle-aged, bespectacled man wouldn’t have received a second look. His plastic Aldi bag stuffed with papers and a metal container hung limply at his side, the only thing that did make him stand out was the cape blowing dramatically behind him and the green and white, almost skin-tight lycra outfit.

“Evening Captain Dynamite,” called Mega Mask. Fire Bain and Kid Phantom both shot her a look that said “Are you doing this on purpose?”.

“It’s Colonel Dynamite now, if you don’t mind,” muttered the newcomer. He looked more like the monopoly guy after he had taken up Mexican wrestling, but this was the new Chairperson of the UK Superhero Federation. “Someone get me a cup of tea please, plenty of milk, I can’t drink it if it’s too hot.” Fire Bain smirked but got up and walked across to the refreshments. He grabbed a cup, poured the rapidly cooling tea into it but then allowed his own powers to super heat the liquid inside.

“Ain't I a stinker,” he thought in his best Bugs Bunny voice, giggling to himself. He turned and placed the table in front of the newcomer who was officiously arranging papers in front of himself, neatly lining up different coloured pens. He muttered a thanks to Fire Bain and grabbed the coffee.

“Owwwww”, he yelped as the ceramic burned his hand, “Fire Bain!! You…you…you…”

“Go on Colonel,” laughed Kid Phantom, “Let it out.”

“You…pain in the bum.”

“Now that’s a burn,” chortled Fire Bain. The Colonel blew on his hand to cool it, waving it around frantically. He muttered something else under his breath about a lack of discipline and no respect but quickly went back to organising his papers, minutes from previous meetings, accounts and the weekly details of events that require superhero intervention that included everything from alien invasions to evil villains to celebrity birthday party appearances. The Colonel was ever invited to those.

He reached into his Aldi bag for life and pulled out the remaining items. A stopwatch, a money tin and a pack of fruit shortcake biscuits. He sent the biscuits skidding across the table, mumbling a curt “help yourselves” while he opened the money tin.

“Subs please,” he ordered. Mega Mask reached for her bag to get her purse and pulled at a five-pound note, skimming it across the tables towards the metal tin.

“I still don’t see why we have to pay for these,” said Fire Bane as he dug into his pocket and pulled out some coins, “I mean, I didn’t ask to be made a super hero. Not sure why I should be taxed for it. As much fun as it is to have the power of the sun in the palms of your hands, it’s a bloody inconvenience most of the time.

“Erm, can I pay double next time please Colonel?” asked Kid Phantom, “Only my student loan hasn’t come through yet so I’m a bit skint.”

“Why don’t you get a part-time job?” muttered Colonel Dynamite.

“When am I supposed to have time for a part-time job exactly. What with college work and keeping the streets of Liverpool and the Wirral free from crime, I don’t really have a lot of spare time.”

“Keep the streets free from crime,” smiled Mega Mask, “What comic books have you been reading?”

Fire Bane laughed, “Yeah, wasn’t there an armed bank robbery there only last month?”

“I know,” said Kid Phantom meekly, “I fell asleep when I got home from college. I’d been cramming all night and sent the morning in the library. It just took it out of me.”

“Young man,” said Colonel Dynamite sternly, “If you’re going to be a super hero you need to learn where your priorities lie. And you clearly need more training. I’ll speak to the International Federation to see if we can get you on a supplementary course.”

“Oh great, the super hero equivalent of the dunce class. Thanks a bunch.” The Colonel shrugged his shoulders and muttered something about the youth of today not wanting to put in the hard work while he shuffled his papers.

“Erm, Colonel,” started Mega Mask, “Do you recognise the coat and bag in the corner? They seem to have been left here.”

“Unfortunately, clothes are your super-power, my dear,” he responded patronisingly without looking up from his papers. Fire Bain laughed silently and pointed at Mega Mask, she responded with a middle finger at him.

The doors banged open again, another cold rush of air and Vortex appeared, then disappeared and appeared again next to the tea table, then disappeared again and appeared in the chair next to Fire Bain.

“Jesusit’scold,” he said, all his words melding into one, “FireBaingivemeahugquickIneedsomewarmth.” He threw his arms around Fire Bain, who squirmed uncomfortably.

“Man get off, I’m not your personal radiator, try putting a coat on, or some thermals under that costume.” He moved his chair a few inches away, looked again at his phone and sulkily threw it on the table.

“ItwasalreadythreenilwhenIleftthehouse,” laughed Vortex, “andthatwasonlyaboutaminuteago.” Fire Bain sighed and shuffled his chair a few inches further away again.

“Vortex, subs please,” said Colonel Dynamite off-handedly, rattling the money tin at the newcomer.

“OhmanColonelcan’tamanhaveacupofteaandabitofawarmbeforeyoustartintryingtogetmoneyoutofme?”

“I didn’t understand a word of that,” said the Colonel, rattling the tin again. Vortex sighed and disappeared, appearing back in his seat almost instantaneously, the only evidence of movement was the extra £5 that was lying in the tin.

“Thank-you,” said the Colonel and went back to his papers, pen in hand.

“Blowitoutyourarseyouoverofficiousprick,” sulked Vortex.

“I understood that,” said the Colonel, again without looking up. This time Mega Mask laughed silently, and the middle finger was aimed at her.

“Erm, Colonel,” piped up Kid Phantom, “It’s gone 8 now. Can we make a start, not sure how many more are going to make it. The weather is quite bad, and Captain Justice is always late anyway.” The Colonel put his pen down and looked around the room at the gathered heroes over the top of his spectacles.

“Only five of us?” he said.

“Nothing gets past you Colonel,” smiled Fire Bain, putting his thumb up to the chairman, “We can see why the powers that be put you in charge.”

“They put me in charge, Fire Bain, because I am the most worthy hero in the UK to hold such responsibility.”
“Yep, no-one collects subs and takes the register like you,” smiled Fire Bain, this time with both thumbs up and a wink to the Colonel.

The Colonel sighed, slowly closed his metallic money box and stood. The palms of his hands planted firmly on the table, he sternly looked at the 4 gathered super heroes.

“People, we are here tonight in under very grave and serious circumstances,” he said.

“Grave and serious?” smirked Mega Mask, “Shit!”

“Is there a paper clip shortage?” asked Fire Bain, trying desperately to keep a straight face.

“Has someone been stealing post-it notes again?” asked Kid Phantom, “Because I still think that was old Mrs Barnes.”

“Orisyourcostumejusttootight?” Each one of them cracked, howling laughter across the tables at each other. Colonel Dynamite surreptitiously adjusted his lycra pants, giving them a little pull away from his backside and gazed unamused at the cackling so-called heroes.

“Dream Star has turned,” he said quietly and then sat down, allowing his words to sink in. It had the desired effect. The laughter slowly died, slight embarrassment on the faces of each of them, sudden realisation that there was a serious point to the normally pathetically nonsensical meetings, a reason for the rigmarole. Mega Mask adjusted her seat and sat upright, straightening her back to look as attentive as possible. Fire Bain looked to the floor, Kid Phantom and Vortex just looked at each other, open-mouthed in disbelief. A silence fell like a wet blanket on a fire of fun, completely extinguishing any hilarity or light-heartedness. Smiles turned to scowls and minds became focused.

“Erm, are you sure?” asked Kid Phantom. Colonel Dynamite shot him a disdainful, withering look but didn’t answer. There was no need to. For all his faults, and everyone new Colonel Dynamite had faults, he was rarely wrong about stuff like this. It had been him who had exposed The Atomic Adventurer just before his dastardly plan to destroy Wembley Stadium during the cup final. It had been the Colonel who had discovered that Speedo was passing secrets to Legion, the multi-personalitied evil villain about the movements of the PM. It had also been the Colonel who had discovered they were planning to close the library down in the centre of Derby and had started an online petition to prevent that from happening. He got over 6000 signatures but sadly it had still closed. There was a picture on the front of the Derby Telegraph, shaking his fist at the town hall. Lack of funding indeed, bloody Tories!

“But she’s new,” said Kid Phantom, incredulously.

“Yeahshe’sonlybeenaheroforlikeacoupleofmonthsorsomething,” garbled Vortex.

“That doesn’t matter,” sighed Mega Mask, “She obviously had it in her to turn. We all do I suppose but we all fight for the benefit of everyone instead of the benefit of ourselves.”

“That’s exactly what being a hero is about,” said Fire Bain firmly, “Man, I am gutted. She was hot too, thought I was well in there.” Mega Mask smiled sympathetically at her orange-clad comrade.

“Oh sweetie, you weren’t.” Kid Phantom and Vortex both smirked but the hard gaze of Colonel Dynamite kept them from laughing outright.

“If we can get back to the point,” he said.

“Ok, so she switched. What is she up to? She can only control people’s dreams after all, not that much of a super power if you ask me,” said Fire Bain contemptuously.

“It might not be much of a super power for good, but it can sure be used for selfish purposes,” said Kid Phantom.

“Such as?”

Colonel Dynamite, banged the palms of his hands against the table, scattering his carefully collected paperwork across the surface and onto the floor. “Such as getting into people’s heads, getting PIN numbers and passwords, security secrets, f…f…f…flipping nuclear launch codes. Are you getting the picture?” he yelled. A dumbstruck silence fell across the gathered heroes, each one of them staring open-mouthed at the red-faced, green and white lycra clad bureaucrat. No-one had ever seen him get angry before, let alone shout and (almost) swear. It was the unheard of. This guy went into primary schools and read to children, helped old people with their shopping, he was an old-time gentleman as well as a super-hero.

“Ok, Colonel, so what do we do?” asked Fire Bain, “How do we stop her?”

Suddenly the cheap wooden doors slammed open, cold win rushed in blowing the still scattered papers around the room, a blinding light dazzled the 5 attendees forcing them to shield their eyes.

“Nothing can stop me now,” called sweet, playful voice, “Darlings, I can do what I want.”

The light died and there stood Terror Star, formerly Dream Star. Her white and silver costume had been replaced with black and gold but with the same basic design and pattern. The 5 heroes leapt to their feet and took up their fighting stance, Colonel Dynamite shutting and locking his money tin first.

“Terror Star, you should not have come here,” he said firmly. The blinding light died.

“I know,” she said, “I swore I would never come back to this bloody community centre, but I left my bag and coat after the last meeting. Anyone seen them?”

“They’re in the corner,” said Mega Mask, pointing to the discarded items, “I was wondering who they belonged to.”

“Yeah they’re mine. Glad I found them, the bag was a present from my hubby, he’d kill me if I lost it. It cost more than a month’s wages.” She smiled and skipped across to the corner. The other heroes all stood ready to pounce.

“You expect to just turn to evil, waltz in here and skip out without facing the music?” said Kid Phantom in his most grown-up voice. Terror Star picked up her coat and gave it a shake, dust and crumbs descended from it like falling snow.

“Can you believe that old bag just dumped it here in the corner?” she said exasperated, “She could have at least hung it up for me.”

“DidyouhearwhatKidPhantomsaid?” barked Vortex.

“Oh, I’m sorry sweetie, I can’t really understand you, never could. Like talking to a drunk Glaswegian,” she giggled. Mega Mask smirked but still held her fists up.Terror Star picked up her bag and dusted it off before slinging it over her shoulder.

“Anyway, must dash. I’d love to stay and, you know, sort this all out but I’ve got the kids in the car and I need to help Thomas with his homework before he goes to bed. A mum’s work and all that,” she said in mock resignation and strolled towards the door, “and the new series of the Apprentice starts tonight and I don’t want to miss that.” She grinned at the 5 heroes all facing her in action poses.

“Oh, look at you all,” she smiled patronisingly, “You all look like you’re posing for your action figure shots.” She laughed again, it was a beautiful laugh, and turned to go out of the door.

“Why have you turned?” said Mega Mask, “Who got to you? Was it Legion? The Revenger? I thought we were friends, how could you do this?”

“We are friends, sweetie, but my hubby just got made redundant and my part-time job doesn’t cover the bills. I have to make ends meet and being a super hero brings in zero revenue, ask Kid Phantom. His costume looks like he made it himself.” Kid Phantom blushed behind his mask but remained statuesque.

“So, this is about money?” laughed Fire Bain.

“You’re damn right its about money,” she snapped, “Money to pay the bills, money to buy food and clothes for my kids, money to keep that 2nd-hand Nissan Note running so I can get my kids to school. Money so I don’t have the bailiffs coming around, I don’t want to appear on an episode of ‘Can’t Pay, We’ll Take It Away’ thank-you very much.”

“We have to live to a higher standard than this,” chirped Colonel Dynamite, “We’re heroes, damn it!”

“Yeah well, this hero lives in the real world so you can keep your committee meetings and your holier-than-thou attitude thank you, Colonel” she spat at him, “I’m answering to the majority of one now, well, 4. Me and my family.” She stared at the 5 heroes, all facing her, faces stern and serious.

“Oh relax, the lot of you,” she said derisively, “If we were going to go at it, it would have happened by now but like I said, I’ve got the kids in the car. Mega Mask relaxed and folded her arms, Fire Bain dropped his stance and picked his chair up. Terror Star gave them all another vengeful glance before her demeanour changed and she smiled lovingly at them again. She turned and banged the doors open, the biting wind rushed in, lifting her coat so she looked all windswept and interesting, moody, like Heathcliffe on the moors.

“I’m sure we all see each other again,” she called over her shoulder as she strode out, “one way or another.” She laughed, more maniacally than before and the door shut behind her. The 5 remained where they were, ever vigilant, ever alert for the call to action. They heard a car start in the car park, move into gear and pull away into the night.

“Well, ok,” said Colonel Dynamite after a few moments. He relaxed and started to pick up his papers. Mega Mask helped him. Kid Phantom and Vortex sat down, Fire Bain looked at his phone again.

“Oh, bloody hell,” he said, “5-0??” He slumped into his chair again and sulked.

“Soarewegoingtodecidewhattodoabouther?” asked Vortex. Colonel Dynamite stood up and shook his head slowly.

“No,” he said, “I’ll get in touch with the Federation. She seems sane enough at the moment but who knows how long that will last.”

“Can’t even argue with the reasons why she’s doing it, I suppose,” said Kid Phantom. They all looked at him.
“Ok, sorry, I suppose you can.”

“At the end of the day, we’re not going to do anything now so can we leave please,” asked Fire Bain, “I’ve been at work all day and fancy some tea before I have to go out patrolling again. It’s my turn on the rota. Funny how I always get the cold nights.” Mega Mask smirked, well aware that she was the one who designed the rota.

“Ok,” said the Colonel, “We’ll call it night. I’ll be in touch when the Federation get back to me about…her” he motioned with his head to the door, “and Kid Phantom…”

“What now?” chirped the youngster.

“You will owe £10 next time so make sure you have it or you will be asked to either leave the Committee or do some voluntary work with young offenders.”

“I’ll pay the money,” he said frankly, “See you guys next time, I guess.” He leapt from his chair and strolled through the exit. Fire Bain collected the empty cups and took them back to the table at the side of the hall while the Colonel and Mega Mask gathered the rest of the papers.

They heard a car screech to a halt outside and a few moments later the doors banged open again, another icy blast and there stood Captain Justice.

“Sorry I’m late,” he panted, “had to get changed in the car as that old busybody next door was watching my front door like a hawk. Have I missed anything?”
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