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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2200387-Brexit-The-Conspiracy
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by Kabe
Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #2200387
A tongue-in-cheek take on the Brexit debacle.
One bright, sunny day, Stefan left home and went to the park. He was impressed with the architecture of this foreign land and wanted to admire it whilst eating a pleasant lunch. He journeyed to a nearby cafe and ordered his favourite: an egg salad sandwich.
"Yum! I can't wait to eat it!", Stefan told the vendor.
"That will be £78.00." the vendor tersely replies.
"You cannot be serious!", Stefan retorts; outraged by the very high price point. "Why does a simple sandwich cost so much?"
"Well, it's cuz of Brexit init? That's why we ain't got no medicine or no cars on the road no more."
Stefan's smile turns into a massive frown. Disappointed, he leaves the store, with no lunch. He steps outside and as if his luck could not get any worse, a bird defecates on him. He screams at the sky above; asking why this is happening. A large, bald builder is strolling past and says the one line we all know too well: "it's cuz of Brexit, innit.".
Dismayed by the events of the morning, Stefan hurried home to find out that it had been vandalised and looted. Stefan falls to his knees and looked towards the sky, defeated.
"Why have you forsaken us, Lord! Why did you allow Brexit!" Stefan screamed at the clouds.
Just then, a teenage hoodlum struts out of Stefan's house holding a television set. He bluntly says "This ain't nothing to do with Brexit; you just left your front door open!".
© Copyright 2019 Kabe (bjackson2687 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2200387-Brexit-The-Conspiracy