Naked and Afraid

Naked and Afraid -
I’ve seen that crazy show.
They must survive where you and I
would never want to go.

They do it in the buff.
Yeah, everything is bare.
I would not walk around like that,
not there, nor anywhere.

It’s not a nudist camp.
where they play volleyball.
They’re in the jungles and the swamps
without a coverall.

A woman and a man.
What were they thinking of?
And neither one can cover up
their bottom or above.

It’s not a sexy scene,
although they’re in the nude.
And if you’ve watched the show at all
you’d know it’s pretty crude.

There’re snakes and nasty bugs.
They’re crawling all around.
And they don’t even have flip-flops
when walking on that ground.

So how do they survive?
I wouldn’t last a day.
I’d have to cover up myself.
I’d close my eyes and pray.

I don’t think I would last
without a nice hotel
that has a shower and a bed.
A mini-bar as well.

I’m not the outdoors type
the way some people are.
When I get too hot on the beach
I head back to the car.

And I’m not into swamps.
To me they’re just not fun.
Yeah, even with a naked mate
to frolic in the sun.

Remember there are snakes
and other things that bite.
I don’t think I’d enjoy myself;
I’d shrivel up with fright.

So if they call me up
and want me on their show,
I wouldn’t have to stop and think.
My answer would be, “NO!”