Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2246665-Feast-or-Famine
by Norman
Rated: 13+ · Poetry · Comedy · #2246665
I wouldn't eat that for the world
My next-door neighbors bother me
Something I must confess
They fill my heart with anxiousness
Anxiety and stress

These folks are real big carnivores
They like their juicy meat
Just throw it on the backyard grill
And then turn up the heat

It looks like they are cooking beef
Or maybe leg of lamb
It isn’t chicken, that I’m sure
And I don’t think it’s ham

Hell, I don’t know just what it is
It could be mule or horse
I wouldn’t eat that for the world
Not even with a sauce

With lots of ketchup on the side
I’d eat most any meal
But I must draw the line somewhere
That’s just the way I feel

Hey, I’m like any other guy
Who likes to have a feast
But sometimes I will pick and choose
I won’t eat any beast

I think they may be cannibals
Now don’t you laugh at me
I’ve seen them grilling sides of meat
The size of half a tree

I’m starting to get nervous now
They’re eyeing me a lot
As if they’re taking measurements
To fit me in their pot

So I am on a diet now
I’m trying to lose weight
And I am doing pretty good
I’ve lost ten pounds to date

I figure if I slim down fast
They won’t want me to eat
Instead they’ll look for someone else
Who carries much more meat

And I will be so skinny soon
They’ll pass me up…. although
That means that when the famine comes
I’ll be the first to go

Uh-oh… change of plans

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