Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2253630-Lawn-Envy
by Norman
Rated: 13+ · Poetry · Comedy · #2253630
You'd think you're looking at a rug
Our neighbors have the plushest lawn
That you have ever seen
You’d think you’re looking at a rug
It is so rich and green

It makes our lawn look like a mess
My wife gets after me
She taunts me and she scolds me too
She will not let me be

Lawn envy is a dreadful thing
And she has got it bad
And then she blames it all on me
It makes me feel so sad

I don’t know why theirs looks so good
And I am losing sleep
I made a promise to myself
A promise I will keep

I’ll toil and slave and pray a lot
Until our lawn looks great
I’ll tend the grass from early morn
And then I’ll work ‘til late

But still I wondered ‘bout their lawn
How can it be so good?
I never see them fertilize
And I had thought I would

So I snuck out one summer night
To closely check their grass
It isn’t grass; it’s Astroturf!
The perfect lawn, my ass!

I told my wife what I had found
And she just looked at me
“If Astroturf is what it takes
that’s good enough for me.”

So our new lawn is looking good
It’s nice and neat and green
In fact it is the plushest lawn
That you have ever seen

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