Dave needs Claire to answer two questions.
“I have two questions, Claire.”
I let that hang in the air; the silence is unnerving.
“I need answers.”
“Dave, should I wear the red one or the black one?” she asks from the bedroom?
I don't care what she wears to the banquet.
“I don’t care!”
She leaves everything for the last minute.
“You look great in both,” I add. “I need to let them know, Claire! Tick tock!”
I am one of the organizers of this banquet, and I have responsibilities.
She floats out of the bedroom in that sexy red dress. She always takes my breath away.
“Have you decided, Claire? The window closes in 10 minutes.”
“Honey, do you think I need a coat?”
“Have you not heard a word I've said, Claire?”
“I wasn't listening. What?”
“I need to know now.”
“What is so urgent, Dave?”
“I need to know now!”
“Soup or salad?”
“Oh, for Pete’s sake,” she snaps, “I'll have salad."
"Salad it is."
"No, I'll have the soup."
"Soup it is."
"Oh, honey, I can't decide. Dave, you choose.”
I count to ten.
Salad it is.
“Fish or chicken?”
“Do they have a vegan alternative?”
“It's too late to ask, Claire. Fish or chicken? Be a carnivore just for tonight.”
“I'll just have a salad.”
No fish. No chicken. Just salad.
She disappears down the hall.
“No, you know what,” she says from the bedroom, “I'm not going. I'll just have something delivered here. I hope that's okay.”
Gotta love that woman.
"Sure, I guess."
Looks like I'm going solo.
I hear the zipper on her sexy red dress.
I take off my bow tie.