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Rated: E · Article · Comedy · #2270171
from "The Local Gnus" - 2020/July 13
         At a recent press conference, Brann Fiber Optics Corp. announced that plans for a merger with Dyet Communications have been finalized.
         Dyet Communications has provided local telephone and data transmission services since it bought out Exercise Wire Services twelve years ago. The company assumed the name Dyet and Exercise Inc for a brief time, before giving up exercise as being too strenuous for company resources.
         The addition of fiber optics to the existing traditional lines is expected to make for a healthier Dyet in the investment outlook and in customer service.
         In response to the merger, a citizens group has started protests and issued accusations that Brann executives are "...a bunch of too-progressive flakes." One protester interviewed by The Local Gnus explained the group's feelings, "We don't need Brann flakes adding fiber to our Dyet! Our Dyet service has consisted of good, wholesome traditional service for years and we're satisfied with that. We see no reason for adding Dyet fiber lines. The whole thing is irregular and just leaves a bad taste in our mouths! Their motives are clear. They're just raisin' Brann stock prices."
         The merger is expected to proceed with no hangups.
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