Ghost of tissues past

Ghost of tissues past

Speaking of toilet paper... what kind of voice do you think it should have? Smooth, soft, rough, wet? How about dusty?

I should know. My name is Green. That's Pink asleep over in the corner. He snoozes year after year. Can't blame him, we have nothing else to do.

It's musty back in the back of the forgotten linen closet. It's also quiet... and stuffy. Been decades since that door opened to let in fresh air. I can't complain. I'm still here after all these years. Not like the others...

We were delivered back in 1962 to match her Pomposity's avant-garde-pastel-decor — think "Umbrellas of Cherbourg" — and to provide cush to her tush. Before that they say we were trees. I don't believe those myths myself. Since then we've been forgotten.

Excuse my while I ... cough.

... ...

Yeah, we were made to be soft, smooth... and silent. Pink never spoke much but I'm bored after so many years. If we screamed now could we be heard?

Once, the door did open and fresh white newbies were lined up to block our view. But when the last one left, we were abandoned.

Then one day we heard hammering and scraping outside our door. The crack that let in some light and air grew dim as our escape route was blocked by a cupboard or bookcase. I peaked but I couldn't tell which. Pink has snoozed since then. I mostly doze off too.

But back to the interview. We want you to know that once we came in all colors. Then we Greens and Pinks were deemed a threat to your bottoms! White TP ruled... until now when 'natural' non-bleached brethren have challenged them. There's even a rumor that unwashed unbleached hemp will replace our pulp! Horrors! More rumors I suspect.

Well, until next we meet, keep it regular. And don't let the poop out unless we're near!

© Copyright 2022 Kåre Enga [179.8] (30.mars.2022)

About 300 words.

For March, 2022:

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