A Thing of Splendor,

Fred Oswald was walking along happy as can be in the forest, and it was a beautiful day. He didn’t know where he was going, and he didn’t much care. He was out of the hospital and the drugs the doctors gave him were just now kicking in. Things were swell.

Then he saw it! He stopped dead in his tracks. He thought about running. He thought about climbing a tree or hiding behind one. He thought many things all at once and didn’t do any of them. He froze.

“What’s with you, kid? Never seen a unicorn before?” the unicorn was speaking around a yellow daisy dangling from its mouth.

Fred remained perfectly still. Only his eyes moved, side to side and all around the forest and then, as though against his will, they returned to the unicorn twenty feet away.

Somewhere off in the distance, a woodpecker was hammering away. A butterfly flitted the air. Fred could hear a brook babbling and a thousand birds tweeting, and he could hear squirrels somewhere close by, all chittering with great anger.

“Don’t listen to them squirrels, kid. They don’t know what they’re talking about.”

Fred surprised himself by asking, “What are they talking about?”

“I’m a unicorn, kid! We don’t tell secrets.”

“A unicorn?”

“Obviously.”

“A unicorn that speaks English?”

“You catch on pretty quick. What are you, some kind'a doctor?”

Fred looked down at himself and saw the hospital gown and slippers. He shook his head sadly.

“A patient! You’re a patient in the loony-bin over there? You’re trying to escape, aren’t you?””

Fred shrugged his shoulders.

“You probably know Rick Cain, don’t ya?”

“Yeah, I know Rick Cain…” Fred said with surprise.

“Sammy Huston and his brother Mark? They still in there?”

“Oh yeah, they’re still there.”

“I met them years ago.”

“Out here in the forest?”

“No, kid, we met at the piano-bar at the Waldorf. Wait a minute, wait a minute…no, it might’a been the Boom Boom Club over on Sutton.”

There was a moment of silence, then the unicorn said, “You’re a riot, kid, you know that? Of course, out here in the forest. What are ya, stupid as well as nuts?”

Fred shook his head sadly again. “If you had asked me that yesterday, I would have said neither one.” He looked down at his fluffy white slippers. “Now, I’m not too sure…”

“Why? Because of me? Because you saw me, a unicorn, you obviously must be insane? Is that it?”

A tick at the right side of Fred’s face began to quiver and he scratched at it hard leaving four red marks down his cheek.

“What’s your name, son?” The unicorn asked gently.

“Fred Oswald.”

“Fred Oswald, huh…? Can I call you Freddy? Freddy Oswald, that’s the name for you. It’s got a better ring to it, don’t ya think?”

Fred was about to say no, he definitely didn’t think it sounded better when it occurred to him that maybe it did.

“What’s your name?” he asked.

“My name’s Butch.”

Freddy looked doubtful.

“We unicorns don’t actually have names. We have sounds. My name would be, let’s see… think of a French horn making a long A and a quick C-minor twiddle. That’s my name, but Freddy, my friends call me Butch and that’s what I want you to call me.”

Freddy Oswald was happy for a moment until he suddenly saw himself, like in a movie, the camera overhead, and there below was Fred Oswald in his fluffy slippers in the middle of a forest talking to a unicorn named Butch.

“I think I better get back to the hospital.” Freddy said and began walking quickly back along the way he came.

“Now hang on, there, kid!” Butch was instantly alongside him. Freddy picked up speed and was now running as fast as he could. Butch had no trouble keeping up.

Butch said, “You’re scared because you saw a unicorn. You think you really are insane because everybody says we don’t exist! Well, let me tell you something, Freddy. We exist! I exist! I’m here, aren’t I? You can see me, can’t you?”

Freddy stopped running and let his head hang in surrender as he regained his breath. “Yes,” he finally said.

“I’m real. I exist. I think, therefore I am, right? If you prick me, do I not bleed?”

“So, what are you saying, Butch? I’m not crazy?”

“Crazy? Crazy? Don’t ever use that word around me again!”

“Okay, fine, Butch. So, you’re saying you don’t think I have mental issues to deal with? Is that what you’re saying?” The tick at the side of his face began again.

“Oh, Freddy, Jesus! I think you’re a complete whack-o! But you’re missing my point. You can only see me because you’re a whack-o! It’s a gift, Freddy Oswald, and you have it, son. Ain’t you glad you can see me? Am I not beautiful?”

“You are truly gorgeous, Butch! No fooling.”

“A thing of splendor, right?”

“Oh yes!”

“Thanks, Freddy. You go on back now,” Butch said and watched Freddy Oswald walking back toward the mental hospital. “And don’t tell anyone you saw me. They’ll think you’re insane!”

“Don’t worry, Butch. Won’t tell another soul!”

—888 Words—