The smooth patter of the realtor promises much. Joint Winner, Weekly SCREAMS!!! 06.17.22.
I was not born to love houses. It’s much more that I fell into this job, having no other prospects on the horizon and willing to try my hand at everything. So don’t expect the hard sell from me or anything like that. I’ll show you the house and tell you what I know without adornment and then it’ll be up to you whether you want it or not. It’s all the same to me.
Of course, I want, even need, the commission but there are always other houses and other buyers out there. I don’t want you to feel pressured and then regret any decision you might make. Take your time, consider what I have to tell you, and look for yourselves.
This particular house that we’re going to is fairly typical of your middle class, reasonably prosperous suburb. While having its own special appeal, from the outside it appears to be much as the other houses in the area. About forty years old, it carries its age well and has no obvious repairs needed. But you’ll see all that when we get there. You may well like your first impression of the house but, take my advice, don’t make any decisions until you’ve seen everything that might be important to you later.
Remember that the choice is yours entirely. I’m not interested in influencing you in any way on that score. Everything I tell you will be true and presented as dispassionately as I can manage. You are the ones who are going to have to live here, after all. For a time at least. So, if I tell you that I’d live there myself, take no notice. My preferences don’t come into the matter.
Right, this is the street. Note the houses on both sides, all of around the same period and adhering to a certain ideal that was current at the time. So they are different colours and layouts but, essentially, none of them stands out as different from the others. This is a neighbourhood where the flashy show-off is not welcome, clearly. It’s stolid, serious and sensible folk that live here. If you feel that’s something you can fit into with ease, the house passes its first hurdle.
No, no, don’t give me an answer to that. I don’t want to know. Save it till you can discuss it together and then you can advise me one way or the other.
Here it is, the slate grey one on the left. Note the gable theme over the garage, the upper stories and the porch. Detail picked out in white and the windows complemented by false shutters. Dark shingles on the roof. I’ll just park the truck in the drive and you can get out to have a closer look.
Double garage, you’ll note. I see the owner has a car parked in the one to the left. Concrete driveway and the front is lawn with a few flower beds, as you can see. The back yard is fenced and mainly lawn too but we can have a look at that once we’ve been through the house.
Seen enough out here, have you? Great, let’s have a look inside. The owner is away for a few days, so you can take as long as you like before deciding anything.
Nice view of this neat little suburb from the porch. Quite important to think about the view from each aspect, of course.
Okay, we’re in. This is the reception area, nothing too imposing or overstated, the staircase leading to the upper floors, a small bathroom to the left of the stairs and through this door is the study. You can decide how you’d want to use it - many people like to have a separate television room, for instance. The dark wood panelling may not be to your taste but that can be changed without too much expense.
To the right of the stairs is the main living room. Quite large and with a genuine fireplace. Note the high ceilings that give the lower storey an expansive and airy feel.
Through this archway we have the dining room, adequately sized, I think you’ll agree. And through this door is the kitchen. Plenty of level surfaces, as you can see, and the abundance of windows gives the place plenty of light and air. That door leads down into the basement. We can have a look at that later, if you wish.
But we should go upstairs now and see the bedrooms and other rooms. Follow me back to the stairs.
Sound, wide stairs, as you can see. I’ve not been able to get a creak out of them yet. Not too taxing an angle, either.
Ah, now to the right is the main bedroom. We should inspect that first, I think. Here we go.
Now, the reason I brought you in here before the other upstairs rooms is that I need to tell you something that may have some influence on your decision regarding the house. I said earlier that I am going to be perfectly honest in showing the house and what I am about to tell you might be a bit off-putting. Bear with me until you’ve heard the full story.
The plain fact is that this room was the scene of a terrible murder. Well, I should say “murders,” since more than one person met their end here. A man and his wife were attacked by a madman with an axe while they lay in their bed and I’m afraid quite a lot of blood was sprayed over the entire room. We have, of course, had the place thoroughly cleaned and disinfected by professionals but you may feel that the knowledge of this dreadful occurrence is enough to prevent you buying the house.
Don’t rush to a decision, however. The murdered man’s brother, who inherited the house, has been living in it for the past few months and assures me that there are no ghosts or bad feelings present in the house. I know that’s a big claim to make and all I can do is hope that you’ll be mature about the whole thing and realise that what happened in the past cannot possibly affect what happens now.
If you like, and to help in your decision-making process, I can show you exactly what happened. The case caught my interest and I made particular study of it at the time. Just a moment while I retrieve this axe from the cupboard…
There, this is the kind of implement that was used. As you can see, it’s heavy enough to do pretty awful damage but, as I swing it easily in my arm, it is light enough to be quite handy. I believe the first stroke was against the husband and the blow came initially upon the neck.
Oh, I’m sorry, madam, I seem to have nicked your husband with the blade. Don’t worry, I’m sure the blood will come out easily enough. Your dress is white and so hydrogen peroxide should remove all trace.
No, I wouldn’t leave now, madam. There’s much more I need to explain. And I haven’t shown you the back yard yet.
Word count: 1,203
For Weekly SCREAMS!!! 06.17.22