Pensacola Florida

Pensacola Florida

I've always hated the heat. Pensacola, Florida who wants to live in Pensacola, Florida? Not me, but I don't have a choice, do I? A military brat by birth, but not convention. Giving my parents crap for moving us to this swamp would be met by a form of discord. At least I have a pretty dope room. It's outside of the main house attached to the garage, but what will I need the secret entrance in and out of the house for? We are new here and I don't have any friends. I just get to sit on the hot porch allowing the sun to further burn my already mocha complexed skin. Did I mention its freakin' hot. I mean it's so hot that my curly hair within hours of mowing the lawn has been sun bleached red. But I sit here.

The neighbors are okay, I think the dad is Navy, but he gives me Duck Dynasty vibes. I can't really speak, we aren't the wealthiest, my father is a First-Class Petty Officer, and my mom works as a dispatcher for Lillian Vernon. Are we poor, no, but by no means are we rich either. Back to the neighbors though. They have three sons, two look like they are my age and then older brother looks like he might be a year or two older. They are all pretty hot, but it's the older brother. There is something about him. We've lived in this house for three weeks now, and I notice when I come into the main house at night to grab a glass of water or sneak some of mom's southern sweet tea he's always standing in the window, shirtless, looking out at the stars. I know one night he saw me because the entire house was dark, and I turned the lights on and there he was looking over. I waved, he smiled, and I turned off the lights. I think he knew I was still standing there in the dark of the kitchen but my dark complexion blends. He then slowly closed the kitchen blinds. Then today it happened. I was outside eating a popsicle, reading a comic book, and their football landed right in front of me.

Now let me describe the small plots of land that we have in front of these single-family homes. They weren't big at all and for kids to play anything and not hit a car they would have to play with precision. Going back and forth between plots of land and the street. So, when the ball landed perfectly in front of me, I knew this was God testing me. If you haven't gotten the clue by now, I'm gay. Not super gay, but just gay. I totally pass for straight, but that more so because as a young black man I have shielded myself with a face that said mess with me, and I will end you. But I was also an A/B honor roll student because my parents expected nothing less from their kids, so a black nerd.

So here we are, I pick up the ball grip with distance between my fingers and the laces I lean back and let it rip. It was clear they weren't expecting the precision of the ball as it perfectly spun into the hands of the older brother. They looked at me in shock and he asked,

"Aye you wanna join us?"

I shrugged and said, "Sure."

As I got closer, he said, "Nate."

I replied, "Marcus."

We literally played football all afternoon in the scorching sun. I was so sweaty that my hair stuck to my face, neck, and shoulders. I pulled it in a ponytail as the other two brothers went in. But not Nate, he and I played catch for some time. When it got dark, he pulled off his shirt and fell on the ground. I sat Indian style by him.

"You got a nice throwing arm. Ever think about trying out for the team?"

"Naw that's not really my thing," I replied nervous pulling my hair behind my ear.

"What is your thing? Looking at dudes through kitchen windows?"

I nervously laughed, "Naw you kinda caught me off guard."

"How so?"

"You were just there. Standing there in..."I paused.

"In my what?"

"In all of your beauty," I nervously replied.

This was the first time I ever talked to a guy like this, but he was really throwing me some vibes. So, what the hell.

"You think I'm beautiful?"

"You know you are."

It was in that moment he turned toward me, and a bead of sweat rolled from his armpit to the ground. I thought I was going to lose my mind. Then I heard my mom.

Marcus! Its time to come in, its late.

"Yes ma'am. I'm coming."

"See you tomorrow?" he asked

"Of course."

I waved at him as I walked away, he waved back and smiled.

Later that night I was laying in my bed, and I heard a knock at my window. It was late, so I knew my parents were well on into deep sleep. I opened the blinds and there he was, standing in pajama pants and a tank top. I opened my window and lifted the screen. I slide out and was standing face to face with him. We moved to the side of the house.

"What are you doing?"

"Have you ever been kissed before?"

"Not by a guy."

I felt my pulse quicken, my mouth went dry, and he leans in and passionately kissed me on the lips. He gently pulled me by the waste, it felt like forever, then it was over.

I was still in a state of shock when he started walking away, it was then I heard him say, "You are beautiful too."

I slid back in my window, laid down in my bed staring at the ceiling and thought to myself. Pensacola Florida. Who would have thought?