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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2276483-Short-StoryFree-Write-Rough-Draft
Rated: E · Draft · Relationship · #2276483
just a rough draft. looking for constructive criticism. (capitalization will be fixed ltr)
As they put me to sleep, my mouth fills with the dust of the moon, the taste of comfort. The glare of the stars in my eyes shuts them tightly, the weight of exhaustion holding them down. The day had drained every part of me, the inside of a sinking boat being drained of air. but somehow, here next to them, i am revived. i could feel the vibration of their voice beside me, the soft humming of their words. the sound filled my ears and poured back out and wrapped around my head, the sound i couldn't sleep without. I feel my consciousness slowly slip away from me. i grasp at whatever i can, desperate to spend every possible second i can in the feeling of euphoria that these moments give to me.

at last i give in to my fatigue, falling further into their embrace. my arms that were around them loosen as i drift off, already dreaming of the next day i get to spend with them. i dream of waking up to my favorite face, of the hours we can spend doing nothing but talking- about our life, about our love, about us. i dream of a lifetime spent with them. i dream of the love that i had believed no one could be capable of giving to me, until i found them. i dream of all of this, the same dream night after night, that i appreciate every time.

i open my eyes to a textured ceiling, the one i sleep under every night. the ceiling of my home, where i am alone. i turn to my phone, seeing their name on the screen. i smile as i hear their breathing through my speakers, the time on the screen showing the many hours we had been talking. i stare back at the ceiling, recalling my dream from moments before. i picture them next to me again, wanting nothing but to be back in their arms once more. i slowly let out the breath i'd been holding, watching the trees outside dance in the night wind. the miles between us seem to shorten as i become entranced by their smile on my screen, wishing on every star in the darkened sky that my dream would be reality in time.
goodnight, my love.

(Side note: I might have to present this tonight for a class. 1. is this good enough to present, or should i try something else? and 2. any tips for presenting your work? any help is appreciated *Heart*)
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2276483-Short-StoryFree-Write-Rough-Draft