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Rated: 13+ · Short Story · Comedy · #2277322
The planet of Pandora has many…oddities
Written by LordwithEyes

~ ~ ~

Finley sighed as he patrolled through the dense jungles of Pandora. Like most of his squad, the SecOps grunt was dressed in military fatigues and armed accordingly. He was a rather lithe fellow, a 5’6 brunette male with curly hair and brown eyes.

He was doing patrols with the rest of his squad around the base perimeter and he cautiously kept an eye on anything that meant trouble.

And on Pandora trouble was aplenty. It was hell made manifest.

Hell on their butts that is.

It’s unknown why, but Pandora had a strange effect, something the eggheads used way too many fancy words to try and explain.

But to a SecOps grunt like Finley, all he had to know were these simple facts.

Pandora made the humans who came to it…plump for a lack of better words. Within just weeks of being on the planet, a person’s buttocks would gradually grow and grow until they became a bouncing bubble butt. The ladies were unaffected, much to their amusement.

But for the males? It was a mess as they had to rehaul their wardrobe. Gone were comfortable boxers. Now only the biggest and stretchiest tighty whities could fit their asses. It got to the point where a whole division of the RDA was turned to underwear management, buying and creating in bulk large quantities of tighty whities to fit their males.

Finley himself was on Pandora for months now and with every step, he had to deal with the subtle clap of his asscheeks. Made worse was the tightness of his fatigues, the trousers hugging his now wide feminine hips and bottom and making it appear like they were holding in twin moons rather than a butt!

Like the rest of his squad, Finley’s once loose fitting clothes now cling to him tightly, accenting his feminine and curvy figure even more. And sticking above his pants, unbeknownst to him, was the thick white waistband of his tighty whities. Something that did not go unnoticed to some sharp eyes hiding in the thick jungle.

Which brings Finley to his next issue with the world…the life on Pandora was almost completely obsessed with their butts. Another mind boggling thing the nerds they’ve brought along with kept trying to explain through too many words.

But the bottom line was, the wildlife here on Pandora was vicious. They had a penchant for human butts and would love nothing more than to chomp on them and worse. Finley still remembers the fat tears on his squadmate’s eyes when they carried him back on a stretcher and he had many, many angry bite marks on his rear. They had torn a perfect hole on the bottom of his pants.

And as if biting butts and other fun stuff wasn’t enough, the wildlife had an uncanny ability to do something absolutely baffling.


The life on Pandora was very, very, and he means very adept at giving humans wedgies. There’s been stories (and photos, and videos) of numerous SecOps personnel being carried off by their tighty whities by mountain banshees or given dragging dangling wedgies by rampaging angtsìk. Even worse were the pack hunting viperwolves.

Finley had once seen a pack of them descend on a fellow SecOps grunt and watched helplessly as they dragged him away by his suddenly thrice sized tighty whities, clenched between the jaws of a dozen eager vicious predators.

They found him later in the now empty den, hanging from the various trees by his tighty whities. The once comfortable undergarments were practically rags and had been stretched over every possible surface.

His pants were similarly torn, leaving his plump bubble butt naked for them to see. To their dismay it was a bright cherry red and littered with faint bite marks. Somehow not only did they torment his butt with their teeth, they somehow spanked him too!

The poor guy spent a week in the infirmary with the (giggling) nurses tending to his bottom. Finley wasn’t sure why they needed so many needles or what they were doing with the latex glove but he shuddered.

But the worst thing, the absolute worst thing on Pandora in Finley’s opinion, was the sentient alien life.

The eggheads liked to give them fancy titles, numerous names, and try to humanize them. Called them the Na’vi, a proud race of nature worshipping women who were kind and gentle and attuned with the world.

To Finley and the rest of the SecOps however they were simply-




One second Finley was briefly distracted as he pondered on his baffling situation.

The next his RDA issued tighty whities were rocketing up his ass and rapidly ascending to his neck! Him and the rest of his squad as they were ambushed.

“Eeeeeeeeeek!” Finley shrieked along with the rest of his squad, dropping his gun onto the ground as the pain paralyzed him!

“Wedgie!” a cheerful voice purred.

“D-Demon!” Finley moaned as the grinning face of a Na’vi woman stared back at him. Like most of the local alien women, she was tall, standing at 9’8 and quite literally looming over Finley.

And despite her slender and lithe figure, she was deceptively strong. She lifted Finley up by his tighty whities and dangled him in the air! The SecOps grunt whimpered as the Na’vi bounced him up and down by his briefs, the stretchy undergarments acting like taffy.

A very painful taffy on his butt!

“Oh it’s so good to see you again…what was the word…?” the demon said to herself. Her English was slow and stuttered but she was grasping it quickly.
Mostly to gloat like now.

“Nerd!” she said with a victorious giggle, “It’s so good to see my beloved nerd again!” the alien babe said cheerfully.

“Lemme go!” Finley protested, squirming and twisting to escape her grasp.

Instead she simply bounced him up and down with childish glee. His tighty whities (why were they made so stretchy?) stretched in her hands and for a species that only recently discovered wedgies (supposedly), she was an expert in giving brutal wedgies!

Already Finley’s legs were refusing to function with the massive pain in his ass and his hands were twitching uselessly. He could only groan and moan in pain as the Na’vi tore him a new asshole for the ninth time this week…and it was only Tuesday!

He was gasping and only half coherent when he finally caught the gloating alien’s words.

“-so stretchy and strong! Look at how it moves! You Sky People are so kind to us!” the alien cooed.

“We are not here for you to wedgieeeeEEEK!” Finley’s protest was interrupted as the Na’vi set him down, stepped on the back of his boots, and then kept him stuck before launching his tighty whities upwards!

His briefs were stretched a good foot above his head as the brunette gasped in shock and pain. His eyes looked up in horror, his mouth opened, and his tongue lolled out as he went cross eyed from the pain! His breath fogged up his mask and he wasn’t sure how much more he could take when his vision was now blinded by white!

“Atomic wedgie!” the Na’vi shouted happily.

Finley’s mind was stuttering as he stood there, back arched, butt jutted out, and tighty whities firmly glued over his head and clenched under his chin! For the 4th time this week, he was given a debilitating atomic wedgie by hot alien babes.

It couldn’t get wor-

“Now let me see those moons, Sky Person.” the Na’vi said next, moments before she grabbed the waist of his pants and practically tore them down his pale legs!

Finley’s mind was practically going haywire as a massive blush took over his pale face and he let out a squeal of surprise and humiliation as he was pantsed! With his fatigues around his ankles, he fell over and landed on his face and elbows, wedgied ass in the air.

He tried to get up but his atomic wedgie made that difficult and with his fatigues constricting his legs, he ended up just shaking his plump, bubble butt at the blushing Na’vi.

His plump, pale bubble butt. The Na’vi’s shy face soon became an enamored grin as she cooed. “Oh darling! Your butt must be so cold! Let me warm it for you!”

Before Finley could escape, she grabbed him by his legs and reeled him in like a big catch. Then she lifted her hand, placed it on his bubble butt teasingly, before drawing it back.

Finley let out a high pitched, girly cry as her first smack echoed in the jungle.

He began whimpering at the second.

He tried bargaining at the third and begging for mercy at the fourth.

By the fifth smack he was crying out for his momma as the Na’vi tanned his butt with eager hands.
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