Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2277385-Anxiety
by Misty
Rated: E · Other · Other · #2277385
How my anxiety is

Anxiety comes in all ways, shapes and forms. Big, small and some in between. I as a human suffer from anxiety the most, It is one of my mental health problems that seems to be the strongest. I find that good or bad which ever it may be when it comes to someone wanting to talk to me sets it off. I just always have it in my head that it is going to be bad and that I did something wrong. I quote " what did I do this time" as if it is an automatic response to what they may have to say. When I was younger, I was always told that I was wrong or did something bad. This causes my thoughts to go straight to negative thinking. Misty, you have done this and this and this and are so wrong for doing so. My thoughts get to the point that they can't be tamed let alone controlled. Even going into big crowds gets my anxiety on the rise which then leads to more uncontrollable thoughts. My flash backs with having to relieve what has already happened. Sometimes I feel as if I am stuck and can't escape from any of it. Leading me into a mental break down. Been there done that and honestly never want to go back to that. Life is a lesson for each and every one of us, but you have to be able to find ways to cope with it.

Anxiety is a bodies way of expressing a fear or a happy event. There are both good and bad forms of anxiety. The only way to deal with your anxiety is to once again find ways to cope with it, but before I get into coping with anxiety, I have the need to share what some of my Anxiety looks like.

Number one: Shakiness

I know that when my anxiety heightens up or hits, I can get very shaky. Sometimes I can calm it down and other times I cannot. This makes it hard for me to handle items without dropping them.

Number two: Racing heart

When my anxiety hits my heart starts beating faster and faster. It almost feels like I am going to have a heart attack. A constant thought that goes through my head when this is happening is " Oh my gosh my heart is going to stop on me, and I am going to drop dead right here and right now". I feel as if my heart is a ticking time bomb about to blow at any time.

Number three: Heavy breathing

It is almost like I am trying to catch my breath after I have been under water for so long. The need to have to fill my lungs up with air and still having that feeling as if I am not getting the right amount. It is like when you go out running and have to stop to catch your breath because you are out of it, or when you have asthma, and your airways swell to the point you need something to help you breath.

Number four: Uncontrollable thoughts

Any uneasy mind is an uneasy way to live. Racing thoughts and uncontrollable thinking causes anxiety to flare up. No matter how much you try to change your thinking you are always going to have those nasty unwanted thoughts in your head. Bad memories and uncomfortable thoughts can bring on anxiety. One of my thoughts that cause me anxiety is the thought that I am a bad parent. Although I made a choice to try to end my life that doesn't make me a bad parent. It just means that I needed help, and I was struggling. I know that I took care of my kids the best I could with what little we had and hardly and help.

Number five: Antsy

I have a feeling that a lot of people get this way when their anxiety is high. It is the need to be always doing something and not being able to sit still long enough. I know that I get that way. I can never sit still long enough even if there is a good movie on that I enjoy watching.

Number six: Clenching jaw

I tend to have a bad habit when I am having anxiety and that is clenching my jaw. It is like I am trying to break something, but nothing is there. It is a physical reaction to my anxiety and one of the worst ones yet. I have to be able to find ways to relax so that way I don't hurt myself in the process.

There are so many times I either catch myself doing these things or feeling it coming on. I know that stress is a key factor to all of this. The more stressed I am the worse my anxiety is and the less stressed I am the less anxiety I have. This leads to the next part on how I cope with my anxiety. Everyone copes and deals with everything differently.

Coping skill number one: Taking my medication

This will help reduce the I want to say break out of anxiety, but I know that isn't the right word to use. Taking medication will reduce the on come of any anxiety attack. As long as I make sure to take my medication it will eliminate most my anxiety. Leaving me with an ease of feelings and for me to be more productive. Medication can help for the most part but there are other ways that I can cope with anxiety. This leads me to my number two coping skill.

Coping skill number two: Listening to music

To ease my anxiety even more I love to turn on some upbeat tunes via pandora or YouTube. I music because I feel like it is one way to express my feelings and my emotions in a way that I can't physically or verbally express them. Music is the new calm for me. It brings me to a whole different place so that way I can be relaxed. Music is the best. It leaves me with no worries or bad feelings. It may make me sad at times, but I need to be able to get that out.

Coping skill number three: Talking to someone

In order for me not have a full-blown anxiety attack I need to be able to verbally express myself. Getting in contact with someone and talking to them can help out. Just knowing that I am not alone and not having to go through this by myself is defiantly an anxiety reducer. I know most people won't understand what I am going through, but any little talk will help. Just knowing that I have a good support system will lower my anxiety making it less likely that I will have an anxiety attack.

Coping skill number four: Deep breathing

If you can control your breathing as you feel the anxiety, come on it will reduce it. I normally will have someone guide me through taking deep breaths in order to control my anxiety. I will make sure I am seated and count backwards from 10-1. As I am doing so, I make sure to take deep slow breaths allowing my mind to slow down. It is almost like counting sheep to fall asleep. It all works in the same way. Take a deep breath in slowly count starting form 10 all the way to 1. Do that a couple times and you should have less anxiety.

Coping skill number five: Distract myself

This one I absolutely love doing. My number one way to distract myself is humor. I know I am not funny let alone hilarious to other people, but I sure can humor myself. Think back on a time when you remember something funny that happened and then tell yourself about it. You will surely find yourself laughing about it or remember a time that got you upset in the past, but you find that you can laugh about it now. Shit, I seem to do it all the time. This is just one of the few ways that i distract myself from my anxiety. It never hurts to be able to laugh at yourself or things that may have upset you in the past. I believe that it is one of the best coping skills ever.

I know that in life things can be stressful and that can cause anxiety, but just finding the proper ways to cope with it will help you live your life a lot easier. There is no cure for this but there are ways to shape it into your life and every day that won't affect you as bad. I myself suffer from anxiety and have for the longest time. I have been medicated for it since the age of 16 but was never really talked to or had someone explain it to me to make me have a better understanding of it. I have gone through life for so many years just knowing hey I have anxiety the end, that's it I didn't know anymore. It took until 5 years ago for someone to explain to me what anxiety was about and why I was having it.

My name is Misty Blue Heaven Parks. I am 36 years old, and I suffer from anxiety on a daily basis I use my coping skills every day and try to breath. I have learned ways to get around my anxiety and be resilient when it comes to it. I know if I can do it so can you. I have all the faith in you as you should for yourself. Just remeber you are strong, and you got this.
© Copyright 2022 Misty (mistyparks35 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates have been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2277385-Anxiety