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Rated: E · Fiction · Drama · #2285132
The Writer's Cramp 11-16-22 W/C 399


‘Just a few more feet, come on! You can do it…’

Rats. She backed away. Thinking about the problem. That’s the trouble with humans. Always thinking of how to solve a problem.

Now take us bungee cords. We solve problems. We don’t think about them. We attach one end then secure another end. Simple solutions are often the best.

You hook one end of the bungee cord to an object, then the other hooked end to another object . The elastic in between stretches tightly enough to create tension to hold whatever is between the two hooks. Your object is secure, not going anywhere. Understood?

Well, perhaps a little history may help. Around 500 AD Siberian travelers used Caribou gut strips to tie down items as they traveled about the barren wastelands. Then by 1936 English glider pilots were able to launch their planes off of hillsides, and then into the air by using large rubber elastic cords, coining the term “bungee” for the elastic cords. Why that name? Who knows.

In this current age, bungee cords are ubiquitous. You can buy mini ones or huge sizes, buy individuals or buy a gross.

The object in questions to be secured today is a stained glass window. The human wants to make sure it stays in place. She is trying to stretch one bungee cord diagonally from one corner of a window to another corner. She’s tried a few times without success.

I know the problem. I’ve been hanging here for a few years. I’ve been in the sun and the cold for all that time. I’m stressed. I’m angry. So, a little push-back is in order. And here it comes.

‘THWAANG! TWAPPP!’


I flip out and catch her right below the left eye. Right on that orbital bone. Quick as can be! She didn’t see that coming. Darn, that was close. I was aiming for that eye. Shucks. But there is a nice shiner starting already.

There is a lot of yelling, cursing, screaming. She dashes for the bathroom. He comes running. I am ceremoniously grabbed off the floor and tossed into the trash.

The names I am called! Well, payback people. And let that be a lesson to you! Don’t rely on a bungee that is frayed from being in a west window for five years.

That eye is still in our radar. Next time, lady. Next time.


W/C 399
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