Rated: 13+ · Short Story · Contest Entry · #2288729
The Comedy Club Contest - February 2017- This is supposed to get someone to laugh.
Prompt: FUNNY ANIMALS! Write a short story, vignette, or scene where an animal brings the funny. The story does not have to be about
animals, but the animal needs to be the comedy relief. Any type of animal is acceptable, real or imagined. Most genres accepted
that fit in the 18+ rating. No erotica or fetish stuff, absolutely nothing with violence or abuse against animals or humans. 18+
language is fine as long as it fits the story/characters.
Razzle, the backward horse, couldn't be ridden unless the saddle was put on the backward; the rider would have to ride backward as well.
Razzle dazzled the stallions with her beauty. She used her clandestine methods of persuasion to lure them into places of her own choice. Sleek and privy; these were the characteristics that drove her feminine wiles into another realm of distinction. She was known to have come from good stock. Flowing along the breeze, her mane was long and wavy, gorgeous as all get out. Her trots and gallops were done in a graceful manner. Proud and majestic, the nature of quality made her stand tall and dignified.
No one would have thought that she was backward in any way. One day she turned the corner by insisting that the saddle would have to be put on backward; the rider would have to ride backward as well. This was hilarious in so many ways. If the saddle wasn't put on that way, she just wouldn't budge. If the rider wasn't sitting backward, she would be stubborn as an old mule.
Razzle was set in her ways; nobody was going to change who she was. Razzle did funny things. She would chomp at the bit to get attention. She would do a backward prance while stepping on her toes. Clumsily maneuvering around in circles, for some reason, she thought that she would win the race. She talked in ways that sounded flirtatious. She was quite a romancer, but definitely not a dancer.
Razzle was a stutterer. She would say, "Blah, Blah, Blah, why do you crows have to caw so much?" "You sound like you're making fun of me. Would you laugh if you couldn't sit on a tree? Fiddlesticks. I can play the guitar, but I wouldn't get far when you crows are playing with that jar.
Chasing balloons around was the excitement for the day. Hearing them pop always made her stop and do the doo-wops. When it was time to wash her blues away, plop went the mop. Thinking that she was being clever with her rhymes, her endeavors made her rhythms beat with much jazz. "You think you're pretty jazzy," she said to herself, "but why do you blow your horn with a great big pucker? Smucker it up, you can take a joke if you want to. Don't forget the punchline; it leaves us hanging, not knowing what the rest of the joke was about. Now you're saying that I am a jokester?"
Razzle began to gloat after talking to that goat. You must be pregnant since you are bloating out. "No, I'm not pregnant, I just put on too much weight. The result of your insult was that you were thinking of an ultimatum. Oh, sir, why do you purr like a cat? You're much too amusing to be doing that. If you wrote that letter, a dog would've been better. Well, anyhow, the man on the moon will be letting you know that they'll be arriving soon."
When Razzle becomes weary, she contemplates a theory about what she has to do. "Don't be so dreary, I have a way to make you cheery." "Why am I so razzed? she says to herself, "after all, Razzle is my name, that explains everything.
Everyone stared at the person riding Razzle; they wondered why someone would be riding backward in the saddle, while the saddle was also backward. "Stranger things have happened to me says, Mitchebella, Razzle's owner. "Mitchebella Rideabellys' my name; my name is weird to explain." "The roots in my yard have grown very tall, tall enough to climb. That is absurd, everyone knows that you can't climb a root; it would end up residing inside of your snoot. Oh, what the hoot, you know you'd hear the sound of a toot."
The stallions had a big laugh, for Razzle was only half as tall as them. She is a beauty, why does she have to be so snooty, making the riders turn out to be as foolish as a clown? Her ambition made her have a rambunctious reputation; it all resorted back to Mitchebella Rideabellys' way of saying things backward. This didn't make sense to people who had a good vocabulary. No, they wouldn't have time for anyone who was different from them. For goodness' sake, why make a big deal over something so petty? Oh, what a pity! This appears very gritty to have an attitude like that. Oh, my! Having a gal like Razzle wouldn't be so bad, would it? After all, she does give us a chuckle. She must enjoy eating huckleberries. She would sure love to drink those gator-raiders.
Those people in town couldn't figure out why she was rhyming so much with her words. "Mercy upon mercy," they were chiming, "this must be contagious; it's outrageous that we would be doing it too. Maybe that's her way of being flirtatious."
Razzle neighed as she swayed while singing her song. It wouldn't be long until she'd be nice and strong. She'd have so much clout that there wouldn't be so much doubt. I'll get a ring on my hoofs and jingles on my spurs, she says. "There's a riddle in my middle that tells me not to meddle. By George! what a perfect match she is; she's a real catch. She's got the gumption that causes her to function.
Backward spelled backward is drawkcab. A drawkcab is comical looking by its appearance. Razzle joked when she replied that a drawkcab is nothing but a drunk cab that wobbles one way and then another; it's a scary ride that leaves a feeling of fuzziness inside of your head. No fun, son, this shouldn't be done. Don't try to be silly; being intoxicated isn't nice; think twice before consuming, then you can resume your sobriety and maintain your place in society. I presume that this will illuminate a bright spot in your life, free from the drunkenness that can leave you impaired. Don't ruin the life that can be saved.
Mitchebella Rideabelly loved the fact that Razzle was different; her uniqueness was shown by the individuality that she acquired. She was funny to watch. Mitchebella wondered if she'd have to change Razzle's disposition. After pondering on this for a while, she thought that she would leave that entirely to Razzle. What was it that made Razzle act differently than other horses?" This was a question that only Razzle could answer.
Razzle decided to try doing things the right way; she didn't want to cause a disturbance with the stallions. She found herself getting bored; all she wanted to do was make people happy, especially Mitchebella. Mitchebella decided to accept Razzle for who she was. Razzle's characterization was a splendid one. No one appeared sad when she was doing her thing. Those who appeared different accepted themselves for who they were. This brought a shiny glow to their faces; everyone could see that something special was going on. They displayed a loving kindness that radiated with beauty; a quality that everybody should have.
Mitchebella Rideabelly took a walk in the field. She stood in the field to observe the smells of the grass and the freshness of the air. She was thinking of the wonderful memories that Razzle gave her. When the stars shone at night, a constellation appeared. The constellation was an exact replica of Razzle. Mitchebella admired the peacefulness that was brought on by the night air. "How lucky I am," she said, "to have such a gorgeous backward horse. I couldn't ask for anything better than this."
Razzle galloped over to her owner with pride when Mitchebella called Razzle to come and get it; it was feeding time.
This story is about a woman and her horse, who loved each other very much. Understanding each other was a bond that wouldn't be broken. Sometimes Mitchebella felt like she was backward; that's why she understood Razzle and Razzle understood her. Mitchebella had an idea. She decided to put herself into Razzle's shoes by putting some humor into her day. Perhaps it could lift someone up who's feeling a bit on the bluish side. She attempted to do this by saying the following words:
There's a rumor going around about my sense of humor. I try to abide by my sense of pride. I have confided to my horse whenever I felt divided; I could not make up my mind whether to do this thing or that thing. All in all, it was my decision to do it right. It was a delusion whenever there was confusion. When I wrote a letter, I felt better. When I feel sorry for myself, instead of feeling sympathy, it's far better to get some empathy. There's no denying it; when I'm trying something new, there's no need to feel blue, especially when I have a friend in you.
I will groom myself well when I'm riding my broom. I'm so glad to have Razzle as my buddy; she lets me know when I'm ready to ride. Backward on the saddle I go, through the rain, the sleet, and the snow. Which way will I go? Do you know? Together we will figure this out. When we dine, it's mighty fine.
She looked into the mirror, and the mirror broke in two. "Oh, no!" she exclaimed, "seven years of bad luck is in store." "No, I'm not going for that superstition, I'm going to start my own tradition. It can be good luck to have broken glass; it would mean that you've got class. Rather than pain, you'd have a lot to gain. You've heard about the crash, but you know it won't last. Be classy and be a bit sassy. It can be soothing to play some jazz. Show your moves. Be cool with your groove. Don't be shy about it, you know you're a hit.
Razzle and Mitchebella didn't waste time. If you think they're weird, you're probably right. If the rhyming is too much, don't think about it much. We're having fun, that's what that's about. Don't stop believing, start receiving the love that these two have to offer. Start thinking about ducks, the way they quack up over a good laugh. They do a lot of this; it's their nature; they cannot help it. Have you ever looked at ducks? They always appear to be smiling. They fluff their feathers really well; this is how they determine the weather. Sunshine today means that you've got to stay. Sunshine tomorrow means that there will be no more sorrow
There's no exception; you can plainly see how much fun Mitchebella and Razzle have together. Even though their backward ways are different from the norm, it's not hard to see that their hearts are warm. Compassion is what draws them closer to making life better. It's the driving force of energy that makes them compatible.
Mitchebella dropped a spoon when she thought of the moon. "It would be nice to give the man on the moon a spoon, she thought, "that way he wouldn't be hungry". "Maybe one day there will be habitants up there". "Being alone in space is very lonely. Can you imagine being the only one occupying a whole entire place? That would be a disgrace."
Razzle made a discovery; she knew that they were getting older; which meant that they would be closer to death. Wanting their spirit to continue, she devised a plan. She pranced on over to Mitchebella, and said, "how about launching our remains into space? We will be remembered forever if this were the case. Every time the stars are out, the constellations, Razzle and Mitchebella, would be clearly seen. This sparked a sense of awe and wonder in the eyes of the children. Hope, faith, healing, and trust will come back, restoring compassion back in the lives of the people. Honor and dignity will be complacent among adults and children.
To summarize all this, when Razzle and Mitchebella came together, it raised an awareness between them that transpired into a delightful friendship that wouldn't fail. It's wonderful to have a relationship like that; it's a lesson we can all learn. It's rare to have a friendship that's a lasting one. When you're lucky enough to find one, count it a blessing and a joy. Celebrate it with a special time of fulfillment and relaxation. Don't let it die. You will be rewarded with the kind of love that was meant to be. Kinship strengthens communication that's available at all times. Camaraderie is the bolt that holds the friendship together; it will not loosen; it won't break apart when the going gets tough
When the hare and the turtle raced, the turtle was much slower; but it ended up winning the race. The turtle preferred to take things slower when making decisions. Before a decision is made, rather than feeling rushed into making a decision, Razzle and Mitchebella preferred to take their time to process it and mull it over in their minds.
By following Razzle and Mitchebellas' example; you can't be wrong. Think about the ways in which your life can be manifested into something good. Think of the opportunities that a wonderful life can bring. If life can be repeated, this would be the best way to do it. When you put your mind to it, the end result would be amazing. Keep in mind the prospects of a good life. Things could be intriguing if life worked out this way, but when we use our creative minds, the possibilities are endless.
A mere reflection of days gone by, having the right perspective on things today; a better tomorrow can be arranged.
Joggle your mind. Joggle your thoughts. Let's give a moment to collect your inhibitions, unfurl the hesitations, and get ready to tackle your greatest ambitions; this takes away any reservations that kept you from pursuing the destinies of your choice.
Reflect on the confidence of the ones who will support you. Between a woman and a horse, your dreams can be accomplished. by the closeness you share. Any complexity in life can be supported through a strong friendship. Razzle and Mitchebella trusted in each other as confidants. Having the willpower to withhold secrets that nobody else should know about, the requirements of a confidant are determination, persistence, and dedication. This is the story of Razzle and Mitchebella; their bond of companionship couldn't be broken.
Written by Anna Marie Carlson
Tuesday, January 17, 2023.