The Idiot's Touch

The Idiot's Touch

“Welcome to Area 51, General Tavisham! We’ve arranged an in-depth tour for you,” said Major Arthur Woad as he shook hands with the visiting brass.

“Excellent idea, Major Woad. Where to first?”

“Right this way, sir.”

They visited several hangars and the major answered most of the visitor’s eager questions.

“This next building houses something very special,” Major Woad said as he retina scanned the lock.

When the General saw what was inside, he hurried over to it.

“I’d be careful sir; it could be radioactive even now.”

As if he hadn’t heard, Euan Tavisham scanned the outside avidly. Then to the horror of his guide, he began pushing the buttons on the outside.

“How does this work?” he muttered over his shoulder to Woad. A seamless door opened and without hesitation, Tavisham rushed inside.

“Hey!” Woad shouted as he went to follow him. But he was driven back by the flames and noxious fumes of the spacecraft firing up. The door on the craft had closed silently just before ignition. Woad radioed for help, though he was sure it was a useless gesture.

The round craft began to rotate. It rose steadily and crashed through the roof. Woad ran outside to see it hover for brief minutes, then take off.

It was out of sight before Woad could catch his breath. He began shaking his head and planning an early retirement as he waited for the military police to get to him. What was he going to say this time?

“This could finally end my career, that’s the fifth visiting general I’ve lost this year. But then again, some would say it wasn’t such a great loss to the military. I’ll refuse promotion if I have to, I never want to be one of those generals!”