A-mob( galaxies first alien mobsters)

You humans don’t make any sense to me. How can your skin be so squishy?What are you supposed to do if you get hit there? It just don’t make any sense.
I’ll tell you though, that human, Al Capone, there was a legend. A man who takes what he wants, tells cops to beat it, and dies of a sexual disease. What a class act.
You know, before the war, all I was ever interested in was human history. I mean you guys got the Egyptians, the Roman’s, the Americans. The only thing my people got to show is that my second cousin was the model for one of the Easter island heads. If I’m being completely honest I’m glad it worked out for cousin Doro, man had a big head but no smarts.
But after the war, I only looked at the greats. Your big names like Billy the kid, Gandhi, and Al Capone. But I don’t know what a six shooter even is, and Gandhi with all of his peace. If I had the digestive system to spit I would. But the other man. There’s the ticket.
There are some differences between their world and time. For instance they had cops. We don’t got cops, we got “safety droids” I think you all got off light. It’s impossible to pay off a robot that doesn’t even know what money is.
That’s another thing, money. We don’t have dollar bills or anything fancy like that. We got credits, it’s all electronic. Even if we had banks, robbing them would be a fools errand.
Never the less I’ve got an idea. I’ll be going to my Goto with it, I’ll keep you squishy skins posted

Your favorite rock based Alien
Roto Val Doxian