Trans-consciousness bus tours

"Thank you for choosing trans-consciousness bus tours. Have you decided which tour you would like to select today?"

"I think so, but can you tell me how this works again?"

"Why of course. Thank you for trying to get the most from this very unique experience by having all your comments, questions, and or concerns addressed ahead of time to your satisfaction."

"OK yah, just tell me how it works. And I don't want a lame tour, I want a scary tour."

"Oh course you do. We pride ourselves in giving the best experiences."

"Umm, you didn't answer my question."

"We transfer your conscious mind to any available passenger in history for the duration of their bus riding experience. So when they get on the bus, your journey begins as if you were them. Your experience ends when you or they get off the bus or their equivalent mode of transportation."

"But how will I choose which person and which bus they are on in history. "

"Well that depends on what you are focusing on when you begin the transfer. If you have some historical person in mind riding a bus or a particular era in history, you will automatically be connected with their consciousness."

"But I want something really scary like in a war zone. "

"I must caution you that if the passenger you select is killed before you have a chance to end their riding experience, their consciousness permanently moves into your mind, and you die as they did. Is that scary enough for you?"

"Bull-s***. All right, when does this begin?"

"Let's first get you seated on this mock-up of a tour bus. You may use the touch screen in front of you to select which historical figure or bus make and model and place you would like to go. When you are done just stare at that image for a long time. When you are confident about what you are focusing on just press this button on your armrest to begin your journey."

"Any other questions? No? Okay then I will leave you to it. And thank you for choosing trans-consciousness bus tours."

"Alright this is going to be cool. My friends are going to s*** themselves when I tell them what I did. Ok… Let's see, let's see. No, not that one. Not that one either. Maybe…. whoa… hello little doggy how did you get on this ride? I don't think you're supposed to be in here. You sure are a cute little thing. Let me pet you for good luck. Such a good little dog… What the–! Is that a flea that jumped on me? Get off me flea… Get off!... No , No, NOOO!

Hey! Hey? Who shut off the lights? I can't see a damn thing… Hello? Sh**, where am I? This doesn't feel like a bus. Let me feel around to see where I am. Is that a tree in front of me? No… Or Maybe it is a cable but is kind of textured weird and seems to be covered in some kind of oil. Oh, there is another one, and there is another one. It seems like this whole area is covered in these things. The ground is kind of soft and warm. Holy s*** the ground just moved! It moved again! I had better hang on to these cables. Let me climb up to see where I am. Wow, I don't remember being able to climb this fast and easy. I can really move well up the cables. The cables seem to be getting less thick at the top and I see some light but I can't make out any detail.
Oh something smells really good in the distance. Let me go check it out. Look at me go! Whoever I transferred into may be some kind of gymnast cause I can really move fast and my legs feel really strong but in a weird sort of way.
Okay I'm getting closer to that smell. What's that up ahead? There's something on the ground that's moving. Actually there's a lot of things on the ground that are moving.
What the F*** are those? Holy S***! Those are some kind of monsters with shiny black puffy bodies and six legs. They are eating something that is coming out of the ground. It smells so good! I don't want to go over there but I can't stop myself. I have to taste it! No! Don't do it! Must stop myself but I can't. It tastes so good! I have to go deeper into the ground!
What's that? The ground is shaking again? It's really shaking hard and those cables are starting to wave all over the place. More of those monsters are running toward me. Get away from me you monsters or I'll beat you with my–
Waaah! Where the F*** did my hands go? They are just black stick looking things with ugly looking pincers on it on the ends. What's happening to me? This isn't fun anymore. I want to go back… I WANT TO GO BAAAACK!

Okay okay don't panic. How did they say to get back…they said to just get off the bus… But… I'm not on any F***ing bus!
Hang on, hang on. There's something big coming. All those monsters are running away from it. The ground is really shaking hard now. And… what the F*** are those huge white things opening and closing! It's right on top of me…i gotta get out but Noooo…. My back legs are cramping hard…they feel like they are going to explode. Up I go...Ahhhhhhhh!

"Welcome back and thank you for choosing trans-consciousness bus tours. Please check to make sure you have all items you bought with you as you leave the experience. We apologize for the dog. It has been safely removed from the bus. How did you enjoy your experience?"

"That scared the S*** out of me!

I want to do it again!"

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