naïve

I wish I hadn’t been so naive but I was young.
I didn’t mean nearly as much to you as you did to me, that kind of stung.

I was 15 and had an impressionable mind.
I was far too kind, too blind, looking for the confidence to leave this part of my life behind.

I didn’t know any better, I should’ve known.
I was so scared of the unknown, you acted like you were so grown, I was just afraid to be alone.

You made me believe you were all I had and I looked up to you. There was only so many times I could ask, “who,” I felt like I was having deja vu, before I finally changed my view.

You never respected me or put me first.
You made me feel the worst and I had hoped the damage could be reversed.

You ruined my perception of relationships and love.
But the universe has been looking out for me from up above.

Even today I struggle with people’s intentions and my trust.
A lot of guys these days focus on their lust and when they can thrust. I’m slowly but surely trying to readjust.

I may never be ready but I’m willing to wait.
My heart is still full of so much resentment and hate.

I learned a valuable lesson and it needed to happen.
To be stuck in that same situation, I can’t imagine.

I have grown so much as a person in the last 3 years.
To think of everything I’ve been through almost reduces me to tears.

Now I relate to my trauma with poetry and songs.
Trying my best to correct and learn from all of my wrongs.
It keeps me strong.

There will be a day when I’m ready to open my heart up again. Maybe it won’t be so scary then.