It has been a while

I've not been writing much lately
Never use to at all
But I found this keyboard
and some spirit pushing me on

Slowly rubbing off each letter
Heavy thoughts fueling my digits
Stanzas developing on screen
Meter keeping up the pace

Sharing some early work
With sympathetic eyes
Open hearts feeling the beat
Pushing me on night after night

Then time and time again
Stepping up to the lone mic
Spitting out the words
No rhythm, no cadence, no soul

Slop thrown to the crowd
Finding little morsels
Anxiety running on high
Trying to give some enjoyable words

Next time I won't shake and stutter less
Pause for effect, bring them to the edge
Try to speak with arrogance or confidence?
Will they even know the difference?

Silence, did they hear me this time
My soft voice ringing hollow
Vision going dark under the spotlight
I hate the attention

But even I need to feed this ego
The bits left after those trips
Time to break my silence
Ego birthing