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Rated: E · Short Story · Satire · #2326594
Of cows and writing (Writer's Cramp winner 9-8-24)
Millie the cow sat up in bed, staring out her window at the half-moon and wishing she could jump over it. Her alarm clock ticked away towards sunrise.

"What am I supposed to do?" She mooed. "The 2024 Authors Convention is only two days away, and I have nothing to bring to them!"

She reached over to her bedside table and pulled out a wrinkled flyer.

Come one and all! Famous author cows from all pastures of life will be speaking at this once in a lifetime event! Writing tips and tricks, publishing advice, moo-tivational stories, and all you can eat fresh-cut grass and milkshakes! Submit your story to win the grand prize of a lifetime supply of alfalfa plus bragging rights!

Must be newly written for the occasion. Two thousand words or less. No AI generated content, please.


Millie ran her eyes once more down the list of speakers, all sleek, professional novelist cows who would show up wearing the height of bovine fashion. She heaved a sigh and thought again of the shabby last-year's summer dress she would have to wear.

"Someday I'll be a successful author, I know I will. But right now… if I could write something for their contest and win, I'd at least have enough to eat. This broke author life is for the dogs."

She got out of bed and went to sit at her writing desk by the open window. The delicate scent of wildflowers drifted in from the field. Millie picked up her pen and scribbled a few words. But she scratched them out almost immediately and stared at the blank page.

"Oh, this writer's block! I can't think of a single thing to write a story about for them."

Out of nowhere, her phone rang.

"Good grasses, who's calling at this hour?"

It was Bessie, her dearest friend.

"Millie, I'm so nervous about the Authors Convention! I don't know what to write for the contest. Can you help me? I've been awake all night panicking!"

Millie wanted to say she'd been doing the same thing and was in the same boat. But she didn't want to sound like she was floundering.

"Don't worry, hon. I'll help you. We'll seek inspiration by, uh, taking a walk in the moonlight! Yeah, that's it. Come on over."

Bessie and Millie ambled down the path together, talking about their writer's block.

"What we need to do," Millie said at last, "is have someone tell us what to write about. Then at least we'll have a beginning."

"How about we tell each other what to write?" Bessie suggested. "I think you should write a story about a romantic castle and a princess who marries an orphan pauper."

"Wow! That's neat." Millie tried to outdo her friend. "Can you write a story about a mermaid who meets a unicorn and they swap places for a while?"

"Moo-moo-moo!" Bessie laughed. "That sounds so cute. Let's do it!'

***
Millie wrote fast and furiously over the next two days, her hooves flying across the paper as the story put itself together. She proofread it about a million times, edited a gazillion minor things, and finally was ready on the day of the Convention.

She rode to it in Bessie's car, laughing and chattering.

"I bet my story is a lot better than yours, Millie," Bessie teased. "Maybe I'll share some of the lifetime supply of alfalfa with you!"

"Oh, mine's a winner, no doubt about it." Millie was confident. "I might even land a publishing deal with this!"

The convention center was crowded with dozens of cows who all wanted to be famous authors. They managed to dress the part, with gleaming polished pumps and matching handbags and hats. Millie had an old straw hat, and Bessie didn't have any hat at all.

"We look like we just rolled in from the barnyard," Bessie whispered as she and Millie squeezed between the other cows.

"Nonsense. Our stories will prove us as worthwhile authors." Millie tossed her head up high.

Cows of every color surrounded them: brown, black, white, stripes and patches and even a few who had dyed their hair for the occasion.

They turned in their stories to the judges and sat down, munching on bunches of grass, to hear the first moo-tivational speaker.

After a whirlwind of events, including a bovine beauty pageant, it was time for the winning story to be announced.

"We are pleased to announce we have a tie," the cow in the pink suit declared at her podium. "Bessie and Millie have written the best stories here, and they both deserve the lifetime supply of alfalfa! Let's give them a round of applause!"

The two cows walked up to the stage, holding hands and waving to the cheering crowds. Millie nudged her friend.

"This will be our turning point! Now we're on the road to success!"

Bessie adjusted her hair in the reflection of a window.

"Hopefully it's paved with alfalfa," she remarked with a smile.

Word count: 833.
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