Vampire Meals

Vampire Meals

He sank his pointed teeth down into her pale, white neck,

but he was disappointed for he’d done no pre-bite check.

The woman was anemic; her blood had zero iron.

He cursed the diet eaten in a model’s harsh environ.



The maiden was too skinny. She lacked the proper care

that provided a good meal of a healthy, bloody fare.

The girl he'd thoroughly drained, so he could only dump her;

thus, he dropped the skinny heap in a gully full of larkspur,



Still hungry, he prowled around for juicy, well-fed maids.

He searched throughout the bars and those plying other trades

but nowhere could he find a woman plump with blood to spare

until he came across a place where dieters forswear,



Those givng up their chocolate bars and Twinkies on the side.

“Yup,” proclaimed the vampire. “I think I’ve found my bride,”

He entered through the diet doors and waited for his turn.

“I’m too fat,” he told them all. "I’ve come here just to learn.



Who can help me break my habit, the one that makes me feast?”

All the women raised their hands. He counted twenty, at least.

The vamp was grinning ear to ear. He left with Molly Soats,

but the names of all the others were scribbled in his notes.



The hungry vampire now has delicious meals each night

for all are eager for his draining that makes them extra light.

He bites them once. He bites them twice. He bites them on the scale,

and the women laugh and gather round their favorite diet male.



So far he hasn’t found his queen, so he sucks them all the same.

They use a raffle to decide who next the vamp will claim.

but he restrains himself, sucking from the remnants of each bite.

He gives no one the third wound, for that's the final rite.



As I said, he's never chosen yet to share his sleep.

Yet they all want to pass the bridge, to take that final leap.

So hearing this, I daily dine on candy bars and cakes

in the hopes that I can join and feel the pleasure of that ache.



He bites them once. He bites them twice. He bites them on the scale,

and the women laugh and gather round the handsome vampire male.

But someday soon, I'll come before him and lay my collar wide,

in the hopes that he will bite me thrice and take me for his bride.

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