Being single should come with directions. |
SLAM 2004 Directions for Smooth Coasting in Relationships The color of my car is singlehood; I’ve driven it for twenty years. Buckling safely behind my visor, I’m proficient on city roads. I pump my tires with expertise; I use road maps for guidance. Bi-yearly maintenance provides my tune-ups. New pairs of boots even out my rides. My shock absorbers smooth rough days. Rebalancing works. Rotation does wonders. I’ve updated my classic leather; Whatever honks the horn excels. And when my male exhaust blew its fuse, I found sampling newer models worked. Mechanics often rev up my motor, I sometimes stop just for liquid fill-ups. And on lonely nights, I recommend Leaning back and taking down your top. But when the dents have been hammered out, And the polish wears brighter lacquers, Preparation for next time extends the warranty; I take care to develop plans for breakdowns. For after all, I’ve found life rusts, And one must steer through potholes. So check your mirror for more than lipstick, And pull over to grab up an emergency kit. A stout rope can be useful for towing wrecks. (Joy rides can be more than a little painful.) And don’t forget a primed fire extinguisher For when the flames aren’t desirable. I suggest keeping bottled water in your kit, And a map for alternate destinations. A telephone is good for when you’re stranded, And spare fuses are essential for rotten days. But don’t forget a set of rings Just in case Your timing Achieves Absolutely Perfect Alignment. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ahhhhhh... P.S. This isn't me. Fiction often rides me onto waves. I ride them. That part's true, but only in my imagination. |