August 3, 05 Newsletter about the Sedoka

         This issue will deal with another form of poetry, the Sedoka. Information comes from

1. b_boonstra

2. http://members.tripod.com/neca/Tanka%20and%20Sijo.htm

3. http://www.nhi.clara.net/hkfaq.htm
4. http://www.haikuhut.com/Short%20Stuff%20Stuff%20Volume%20III
4. http://poetry.about.com/library/bl0501ibpcentries.htm

Viv

Next week's editor will be Becky Simpson

The Sedoka

         According to all the infomation I could find, Sedoka is a verse form of "waka" (Japanese poetry) that evolved from ancient songs, predating haiku. They can be mood poems or tell stories in a song-like manner. One source states that a Sedoka was used in a question-and-answer format to reveal riddles. Sedoka was one of the forms used by women in ancient times, although not all women enjoyed the status of being poets or even allowed to be educated.

         Sedoka has six (6) lines, totaling thirty-eight syllables in the following pattern:
5, 7, 7, 5, 7, 7. The six lines are broken into two parts of 5/7/7 stanzas, each unit referred to as a katauta. Traditionally, the second katauta infers the same thing as the first, but in a different way. Often the sedoka will have "twists" after the second and after the fourth lines.

         Sedoka resemble tanka (thirty-one syllables in 5/7/5/7/7 format) and haiku (three lines in 5/7/5) in that they are very brief, precise, and concise. Often they portray natural images and human emotions.

         Now with all the background information behind us, let's look at some examples. Some are better poetry than others, but we can get the idea.

The Herons (3 Sedoka)

Lake rich with algae
Nature's tableau, banquet spread
Seeking breakfast for her young
Hiding in rushes
Quiescent lest weasel hear
Green heron's babies stirring

Bullfrogs fear her near
Rapier unsheathed
Patient as eternity
Snakes shisper warnings
Another favorite repast
Wary of her piercing eyes

Her eerie voice sounds
And breaks the misty silence
She takes to wing -- a death kite
Prey indentified
Bluegill slain by coup de grace
The herons shall have sushi

-- Lyle R. Berry

http://poetry.about.com/library/bl0501ibpcentries.htm


October morning,
peacefully clouds passing by
sunbeams clouring the sky
October evening,
all the work is done today
it's time to relax and rest . . .

-- copyright 2002 Bianca Boostra


The Blind

Shotguns flared
like massing stars
the moise, the smoke
and through it all
young Killingsworth
sat crying.

-- unknown from http://members.tripod.com/neca/Tanka%20and%20Sijo.htm

         As usual when I present a poetry form in the newsletter, I try to write at least one poem in the format chosen. Here's my attempt:

"Anthem's Refrain" 

Brilliant flares of light
flash across the velvet night.
The sky reflects freedom's glow.
Once upon a time
another watched rockets' glare
and wrote an anthem's refrain.

copyright 2005 Vivian Gilbert Zabel

         I hope you enjoy trying the Sedoka.

         If you are interested in submitting haiku, senryu, tanka, renga, haibun, sijo, or sedoka for consideration for publication, go to the following web site:
http://www.daypoems.net/nodes/966.html

Highlighted Items from the W.Com Site

         I found several Sedoka written as "bad" poetry, but only three that followed the format seriously.

Invalid Item  This item number is not valid. #840587 by Not Available.

Invalid Item  This item number is not valid. #840696 by Not Available.

College Ruled  (13+) A trio of joined sedoka on my desk, taunting me. #871254 by Jay's debut novel is out now!

A Few Words from Our Readers

         Last month's newsletter addressed personification enhancing the emotion of a poem. I asked for readers to try and write a short poem using personification, and the first 20 would receive gift points.

         The following sent their poems:

lakecat

The little ball went sailing
A whizzing through the sky
"Alas" said he "I cannot see"
"There's cloud dust in my eye"

         The only suggesion I would make is to use needed punctuation: a period at the end of the second line; a comma after Alas and before the end "; a period after he. a period after see and no " after see; a period after eye and before ". Also A whizzing should be A-whizzing, I think."

          A cute and enjoyable poem.


♥Flower♥
Hello Viv-
         I hope this is correct. I think my attempt to make it funny along with the personification may have gone astray.

The reluctant computer groaned as it woke
After sleeping through the night
Its lights winking at the private joke
Finally, the screen lit up quite bright.
--Flower


         I like it, but maybe using needed punctuation would keep thoughts from running together: a comma at the end of the second line and a period at the end of the third.
         I like the idea of a computer groaning. I've groaned enough trying to use one.


Octobers Lie
         Viv, your newsletters are awesome. Thank you for including one of my poems in your Editors Picks. I've received so many helpful and wonderful reviews because it was highlighted in the newsletter. Thank you so much.

         Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad you received good reviews for your excellent work.


Nikola~Loving Her Gracie Girl!
         Great NL Viv! We know all about those "angry clouds" in Oklahoma, don't we? ~Nikola

         Oh, my, don't we. Ish.


Lady Haggis is back, finally
         Hello! I'm just wondering why so many people seem to have problems with short poems, even if they are form poems that are supposed to be short! Even if they are warned in the description that it is both a form poem and short, I get low ratings and comments that say, "Make it longer!" Is there any solution to this problem, without distorting the form of the poem? (One person even suggested that because they were short, I hadn't put any thought into them!) Okay, just wondering if anyone else has this problem, and if there are any solutions! Great newsletter!

         I wish I had a solution to this problem, but I get the same comments. Some people don't know or understand poetry, but they try to review it. Some people think only the poetry and forms that they understand matter. Some people don't know what else to write.
         According to the definitions of poetry that I've found, poetry should be concise and precise. According to that definition, some people are much too wordy in their "poetry."

         If I'm writing a poem in a particular form, I've started giving a note at the bottom with the poem with details of the form used.

Becky Simpson

Hi,
         Once again you produce a wonderful example of a newsletter. The help you give me and the mentorship you bestow on me has gone unthanked for long enough. Thank you! Your work is the pattern for my own.
                   Hugs
                   Becky

         Thank you, Becky. I feel very honored. Oh, I enjoyed your newsletter about the ballad last month. You gave us all much to think about and to work with. Hmmm . . . should I try to write a ballad?

This issue's contest

The first twenty who send the correct answer to the following question (send through the text box at the bottom of the newsletter) will receive 1,000 gift points:

What is each 5/7/7 unit of the sedoka called?

Until next time, read and write beautiful poetry,.

Vivian