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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/campfires/item_id/2029858-Monster-City-Police-Force
Rated: 18+ · Campfire Creative · Fiction · Action/Adventure · #2029858
If you think you know Area 51, you know nothing. And these officers make sure of that.
[Introduction]
When one hears about Area 51, they think about Top Secret military aircraft and weapons testing, or, if they believe in aliens, where certain experiments are being done with alien corpses, including genetic manipulation. Thing is, those don’t even scratch the surface about what really goes on.

If one were to manage to slip past the roving armed guards, they would find out that the area around the dried-up Groom Lake is actually a city- one home to over a hundred thousand inhabitants. Thing is, the majority of these people aren’t exactly humans, and most of them aren’t aliens. No, these people are what most would classify as Monsters. Werewolves, vampires, kitsunes, nagas, mermaids, dragons- if it isn’t human, and seems to belong in the realms of myth and legend, or horror or even Sci-Fi, odds are it’s there. The city is simple called Monster City by the residents, as it was more preferred to its true name of Dreamland. What’s more, if an Outsider is caught past the guards’ patrol area, they aren’t exactly allowed to leave the city.

The Origins of Monster City can be traced back to the Expansion of America. Monsters fleeing from Hunters came to the New World, and would settle in remote areas. As America expanded, monsters were forced to flee. Eventually, they settled roughly a hundred miles north of what would eventually be called Las Vegas. Since it was Federal Government land, and undesired by humans, no one came to bother them, and the people were free to start building a life.

Then World War Two came along, and the American Military decided that they needed a place far from prying eyes, especially those of the German and Japanese. To their surprise, the area that they wanted was already inhabited. Initially, the military wanted to go to war with the creatures, until a certain high ranking general saw them himself and realized that negotiating with the creatures would be far easier than being involved in a secret war in the middle of the country, especially after he saw how strong one of them was, when his jeep ended up in an accident, with him trapped under it- the five men with him couldn’t lift the vehicle up enough to free him, but one werewolf, who saw what had happened, was able to lift the jeep upright. This general had a talk with the President, and convinced him to have a talk with the creatures.

Of course, the monsters had known what was happening in the Outside world, as there were creatures coming from various parts of Europe and Asia, and they were bringing tales of what was happening- genocide against those of different religions, State-sponsored Secret Hunts, and more. When the creatures heard that the American President was going to come, the leader of the community, a European dragon, decided that he was going to meet this human leader, and prepared himself for battle, making sure that he had plenty of fire in him, and that his scales and everything were polished to a blinding shine, as he wasn’t just going to walk away from his home, like others had before him. Much to his surprise, the human he encountered was one who needed to use a chair with wheels to move around. For reasons known only to himself, the President got the dragon to talk with him in absolute privacy, though the locals, the military, and the Secret Service observed them from several hundred yards away. When the two leaders came back to the others, they agreed that another meeting would be needed to discuss the details of the treaty between their peoples. What is known about that particular conversation is this; in spite of their appearances and abilities, the monsters and other creatures were indeed American citizens, and therefore were guaranteed certain unalienable rights, including the right to happiness, justice, and freedom.

Soon after this, the military was given permission to build their base and testing facility, in exchange for making the 25 by 23 mile area nearby off-limits to Outsiders, unless the Outsider was authorized to be at the facility for any reason. However, if an Unauthorized Outsider found out about the locals, said outsider had two choices, Military Prison for a minimum of twenty years, or live in the City as a resident for at least five years without leaving- unless there was an emergency- in which case the person would be escorted. In either case, before the person was allowed to leave, they had to sign a Confidentiality Clause- under Penalty of being charged with Treason, they were forbidden to talk about what they’d seen, or heard, or did.

As for the stories about aliens, it seems that Earth is a midway point for travelers between Mars and Venus, especially those planning vacations that last several Earth Years – in that they’ll wait until the Earth is in a certain position before traveling to it, then wait a few months before traveling to the next planet. Area 51 is something of a Resort town for these people, where they can be themselves, without having to hide what they are. In exchange, the military is allowed to reverse-engineer certain aspects of Martian and Venetian technology, like fuel efficient engines, cloaking devices, and even wrist-like devices that allow the wearer to change their form into something else. Also, the aliens like to buy souvenirs of Earth origin, especially Sci-Fi films about “aliens” – seems they treat them like comedies, over how ridiculous the “aliens” are made and such.

As for the Plot behind this story, New York City Police Officer, Jeremiah Johnson, was returning from vacationing in Las Vegas when he took a wrong turn, due to a faulty GPS device, and his car broke down on a road patrolled by Area 51 Security Personnel. When the Security Patrol located him, they contacted Command, and a deal was made – Jeremiah could stay at the base while the mechanics fixed the car, providing that the officer stayed in certain areas, like his room, and was to be escorted at all times, due to “National Security Reasons”, of course. Problem was, a late night excursion to the bathroom caused him to get lost, and for him to catch a mermaid skinny-dipping, and for him to realize that she was part fish, and that it wasn’t a dream either, especially when the mermaid alerted the base to the apparent intruder.

Needless to say, Jeremiah Johnson was given a choice, 20 years in a Military Prison, under some charge of espionage, or 5 years serving at Area 51, and living in Monster City. Due to his then-current job of being a police officer, he’s given a job on the Police Force. Now he has to find his way around, learn how to fit in with the others on the police force, and how to work with his new partner, to say nothing about trying to keep the peace between the various factions within the city.

Of course, as with any city, there were those who cause trouble and special people are found to keep the peace. This is the story of these people, who spend every day making sure that the biggest top secret remains just that, Top Secret.

Rules

1. The laws of M.C. are basically the same as every other city- keeps Outsiders comfortable during their forced stay- plus it’s easier on the Area 51 military personnel, so that that they don’t have to do the job of protecting wayward humans.

2. Killing people just to eat them is classified as a capital offence- meaning that werewolves and dragons just can’t eat humans, not without paying the penalty- their life.

3. Spelling and Grammar are a must.

4. Story is to be in Third Person.

5. The creatures can come from all realms of Horror, Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Mythology, or your Own Imagination. Just create a Quick Bio of Sorts.
Name: Jeremiah Johnson

Race: Human

Status: Outsider

Former Occupation: New York City Police Officer

Reason for being in the City: Took a wrong turn after leaving Las Vegas when he was on vacation and broke down outside of the base. Was going to be given a room in the barracks, where he was to stay at until the personnel fixed his vehicle. Problem was that he caught a mermaid skinny-dipping- and realized that she was part fish. Personnel were alerted and the commander gave him a choice- 20 years in prison for espionage or 5 years in the Service, as someone who helped the residents of the nearby city. He took the 5 years- as a military record sounded better to him than a criminal one. Given his previous job, and the fact that there was an opening on the force, he was made part of the MCPD, and will be starting his first day.

Hair Color: Dirty Blond

Eye Color: Green

Rank: New Rookie

Personality: More than a little nervous about his new job, but tries to get along with the others.


It was a beautiful morning; the birds were chirping, the cactus were in bloom, and the sun hadn't risen to the "too hot to talk" point. Or at least, it would have been, if not for the fact that Jeremiah Johnson had found himself locked up in the most secret facility in North America, Area 51.

If only I had turned right instead of left, he thought. If only she hadn't called for Security, I could have convinced myself that what I saw was a trick of the light, or even something out of my imagination. After all, this place is supposed to be full of spooky stuff, like alien bodies and such.

But no, what he'd seen was real, a real mermaid, and this mermaid had called for Security, which had landed him here in a locked, and guarded room. In fact, he couldn't even talk to the guard, well, actually, it was more like the guard wouldn't talk back.

Then, he heard something, boots marching, coming to his door. It soon opened, and an officer looked right at him.

"Follow me, unless you want to stay in this room."

Jeremiah gulped. He might have been a cop from New York City, one of the toughest places in the country, but these guys meant business. He followed after the officer. "So, what are you going to do to me?"

The officer looked at him. "That's for you to decide."

"Decide what?"

"I'm not at liberty to discuss that with you."

"What about last night? And that woman?"

"I'm not at liberty to discuss that with you."

"What are you at liberty to tell me?"

"You can return to your room to be locked up for a long time, or you can follow me, and perhaps be of service to your country."

"In what way?"

"I'm not at liberty to discuss that with you."

Jeremiah groaned. He hated these types that kept secrets from others, like Feds, or other police agencies. Didn't they realize that they were all on the same side? He then began to watch the officer. The man had a peculiar walk, there was something about it that spoke of power, as if he outranked everyone around him, even the other officers that should, technically, outrank him, everyone hugging the wall to avoid brushing up against him. That and he seemed to favor the left a bit, as if he'd injured it some point in the past. Then there was his eyes; Jeremiah had never seen yellow like that in the eyes of a human. They reminded him of some sort of animal. And on his wrist was an ornate watch.

Soon, they came to a door, which the officer opened.

The man at the desk looked at them. "Come in."

Jeremiah walked in, followed by the officer.

"Frank, take a seat," said the man at the desk. "That leg looks like it's bothering you again."

"Just a bit, sir," the officer said, as he sat in a wooden chair. "The prisoner, Jeremiah Johnson, as requested."

"Prisoner?" Jeremiah exclaimed. "But I'd done nothing wrong."

"Except being a Peeping Tom," Frank said, with a cough, obviously hiding a chuckle.

"You could be charged with espionage," said the Commander.

"What?" Jeremiah asked.

"What you saw was highly Classified information," the Commander said. "Very few outside of this base know about it."

"She overreacted," Jeremiah shouted.

The Commander rolled his eyes. "Yes, and normally you probably could have convinced yourself that it was just a dream, and we would have left it at that. But no, the lights were on, Security was called, and it's on Report. And that Report says that you saw Classified Intelligence, and we plan to keep it at that."

"So, what's going to happen to me?"

"Option A. 20 years in a Military Prison on charges of espionage," said the Commander. "Or, there's option B."

"What's that?"

"You work for us for 5 years," said Frank. "After which you sign a Non-Disclosure agreement, agreeing to never reveal what you saw, heard, or did, while working here."

"What do I get out of it?"

"Triple pay, military pays for your collage expenses, and one of the most exciting jobs you'll ever have."

"What do I have to do?" Jeremiah asked.

"You're a cop right?"

"Yes."

"That's your job here. Make sure that the laws are being followed and such."

Jeremiah chuckled. "Alright, I'll play cop for a bunch of fish-people."

Frank chuckled as he stood up. "In that case, welcome to Area 51."

"Thanks," Jeremiah said, as he shook the man's hand.

Frank grinned. "Just to let you know, we're not all fish-people." He then took off his watch, causing some sort of blinding light to flash before Jeremiah's eyes. When he could see again, he found himself looking at a 8 foot tall grey-furred werewolf.

"Sergeant Frank Greyfur, Monster City Police Department," the creature said. "Nice to have you with us."

"You're a werewolf?"

"Yeah, and I'll be your partner, partner."

Name: Frank Greyfur

Race: Of European Werewolf descent

Status: Native

Former Occupation: Served as part of the Special Special Forces during World War 2. Claims to have been “this close” (finger distance) to tearing out Hitler’s throat, if it weren’t for the fact that a fellow officer came under fire at the moment he was going to attack. Continued serving in the military, in one form or another, until a chance shot from an insurgent in Iraq destroyed his left kneecap. While given a replacement, he could not serve on the Front Lines any more.

Hair Color: Grey

Eye color: Yellow

Rank: Sergeant

Personality: Loyal to his friends, hostile to his enemies.
(Author's Note: TMNT & Other Strangeness, the rarest and most scientifically impossible form of mutation you can get is Random Mutation as in...PLOP you're just born into this world a Sapient Humanoid Animal...The Book implies Splinter is a Random Mutant as he was clearly more intelligent then an average rat, but we all know he wound't have become humanoid without the Utrom Ooze)

Name: Beulah Mousekawittz

Race: Mutant House Mouse

Status: Native

Former Occupation: Was found as an infant mutant by a Human Ninja Sensai, trained in the art of Ninjitsu, her Sensai was not a Peaceful Shidoshi like Splinter, he was a member of a powerful criminal empire, and Beulah was trained as an assassin think Beatrix Kiddo from Kill Bill as an Anthro Mouse she was kidnapped in the midst of a mission and forcibly taken to Area 51 where she was given the choice of staying there, or being sent over to a scientist to be dissected

Hair Color: Long Head fur is Blonde, normal fur is Orange with Cream underparts

Eye color: Blue

Rank: Chief of Research/Occasional Mercenary

Personality: Cold, calm and exacting, this mercenary stays here because she has no choice, she has a mate and offspring back in New York that she did not mention to anyone during her capture and seeks to return to, she keeps her true feelings under wraps and waits for escape
Name: Atomica

Race: Giant mutant ant, the size of an elephant.

Status: Native

History: Atomic bomb tests in the Las Vegas deserts during the 1950's caused this ant to mutate so that it never stops growing. By the 1960's it was as big as a dog, the 1970's as big as a cow. Then it's growth slowed because of the difficulty of finding enough food. Fortunately, it made contact with the mutants and weirdoes of Area 51 and receives Food Stamps now.

Hair Color: No hair, but red "skin" (actually, an exoskeleton of chitin)

Eye color: Black

Occupation: None. Although Atomica considers himself to be an artist and occasionally sculpts and paints.

Personality: A loner. Still likes to hide in caves and tunnels, although is much better now about talking to others.
Name: Tania Kernova

Race: Pijavica (Vampire)

Status: Immigrant from Eurasia.

Former Occupation: Homeless, Revolutionary, Soldier, Clerk and Guard (last two concurrently)

Reason for Being in the City: Rose from the grave of an impious sole in East Romania, 1890; lived a quiet life, sucking blood at night. Perpetually on the run, she worked herself away from Clergymen and ever deeper into Siberia, circumscribing a broad arc between the Black and Baltic Seas as the Russian Empire met its end.
         When the second Revolution hit, she was quick to decide to tone down her mosquito-like ways and become a Bolshevik, fighting in the Civil War and earning some distinguishment offing foreign interventionists, as well as in the War with Poland, and subsequent Collectivization Crises. She managed to survive the Purges -more due to the fact that the people who would've Purged her mysteriously did not survive more than anything else- and served during the War with Japan and Great Patriotic War, surviving after considerably discomfiture and eventually finding peaceful employment as a camp-guard in Kolyma.
         For almost sixty years, she fed considerably better working with the system than she ever had against it, but after Comrade Steel booted the pail, she quickly became a liability to the new, Thawing management. Her kind and activities were ordered dispensed with during a certain NKVD manager's day in the limelight, and Tania made a run for it.
         Almost liquidated, she illegally immigrated to China, then North America, eventually ending up in the only safe place in the world left for her kind. Fully aware of that last caveat, she keeps tabs open on Somalia and North Korea, while scrupulously trying to keep on the law's good side. The thought of deportation makes her very worried. She is determined to never take a unconsenting person's blood again, and works as a barrista to buy the expensive substance needed in question. Well, that gig, and also working as an informer for police whenever she can find the time.

Hair Colour: Raven black (Skin is marble white)

Eye Colour: Blood Red (Solid)

Rank: Civilian

Personality: Misses Russia a bit, but fully naturalized and no-longer in love with Communism after getting staked in the shoulder during her sudden and unexpected emigration. Normally cheerful and friendly, if a bit sarcastic, especially around people who already know her; always up for a bit of slapstick. Has something of a phobia of hammers, though, ever since she was captured as a Partisan and the Waffen SS broke every bone in her body (Including the ones in her inner ear) with one.
(Author's note: I created this character from The Generic Universal RolePlaying System, or GURPS for short, yeah, I know it may not be a good profession for such a mythical beast, but hey it worked.)

Name: Terrance Longhorn

Race: Minotaur

Status: Immigrant from the Isle of Crete

History: The base medic took some vacation time and decided to visit Greece, and while touring Crete he found a young minotaur calf wandering alone near the Labyrinth. Most of the tourists feared it but he only wants to meet people, feeling sorry for it, the medic adopted it. So he brought him home and amazed how he can learn the same skills he has, As Terrance grew up he helped his father with his patients and when his father retired from his profession, Terrance honorably took over his duties, he studied both human and monster antinomy so he knows how to save lives.

Hair color: Black fur

Eye color: Brown

Rank: Military Medic

Personality: Terrance must keep from getting mad whenever he sees red, he must not get angry at the sight of blood when he's in surgery. Other then that he always keeps a calm disposition and he sometimes have a good sense of humor to cheer up his patients.
A Non-Existent User
Name: Amanda Xu

Species: Kitsune

Status: Native/Immigrated Citizen

History: Although she is older than most of the humans and monsters at the city/base Amanda looks extremely youthful in any one of her numerous forms (human, fox or otherwise). She appears to be in her late twenties but is easily a few thousand years old. She was born in early China, during the Shang Dynasty in 1100 B.C. with her parents and grandmother. Her grandmother had told her how she actually was born while the human race was just crawling out of the primordial ooze, and she always recanted how she felt like she herself grew up with the human race. However, one day her parents (in their human forms) were taken out of their house by an angry mob of locals who buried them alive in a ten-foot deep grave, accusing them of practicing witchcraft and bringing evil and mystical forces to the land.

In fear, her grandmother quickly shipped her and her granddaughter off towards Europe. This was technically the very first account of a Chinese citizen traveling one of the future trade routes to Europe. There they blended in for a thousand years or two as wayward human travelers, taking favors and various jobs. Shortly after the voyages to the new world and the colonization of the newly discovered America the duo headed over to the Americas where her aging grandmother married an equally aging tobacco salesman. Time would pass and soon Amanda’s grandmother passed, when she did she reverted to her original form of an anthropomorphic fox. Screaming that they were witches, Amanda was forced to wipe her human ‘grandfather’s’ memory and burn the house down to ensure her grandmother’s body was never found.

If she remembers correctly, parts of her grandmothers skeleton and some mesh of other animal skeletons on the tobacco plantation would be dug up a few hundred years later and inspire the legend of the Jersey Devil. Amanda was able to blend into human society quite well, feeling blessed to be part of a species of shape shifters, but jobs started to become scarce until the gold rush came around. She headed over in a dusty cart as a ‘run away’ with a few other families down on their luck. Once she arrived she ended up stumbling across various magical creatures while wandering in the desert, searching for gold mines, they recognized her as a kitsune due to her scent.

She was one of the first registered citizens of Monster City and now has put her long life to good use, earning a PhD in medical science, criminal psychology, law enforcement and biology by taking online courses, posing as a human teen. She works as a freelance law enforcement officer and detective, whenever they need her really but mostly works alongside the scientists at the base itself. She is also currently engaged to her fiancé, Henry, a human scientist she met in one of the chromosome coding labs in the Area 51 base. Amanda is actually not her real name but was her alias that her grandmother gave her once they touched down in ancient Europe, her original name was actually Amiko.

Hair/Fur Color: Deep orange with a white underbelly, hair is mostly orange with small streaks of white.

Eye Color: Brown

Occupation: Freelance Law Enforcement, Scientist, Student.

Personality: Usually sly and playful, she is very inviting to outsiders but sometimes has trouble trusting humans she’s unfamiliar with. She can become very sarcastic when stressed or annoyed. She loves taking apart machinery or learning new things, making her a bit of a bookworm. However, there are times when she could act animalistic or feral if a certain nerve is triggered for her. Also, since she originates from China she has a deep love and interest for Asian culture and media.
Name: Chaos.


Race: Shape-Shifter.


Status: Area 51 test subject.


Former Occupation: Unknown.


Reason for being in the City: For Area 51 personnel to study how Chaos interacts and behaves around other creatures and humans.


Rank: Private/Undercover Investigator.


Age: Unknown. (She always changes how she looks whenever she feels like it, so no one knows just how old or young she really is. But for now, picture her looking 18 years old)


Appearance: Due to Chaos being a Shape-Shifter, she can change her appearance to just about anything she pleases. So no one knows what she really looks like. Though for now, picture her with emerald green eyes. Long, wavelike, dark blue hair that ends just beneath her small rear. A matching dark blue swimsuit set hidden underneath a light blue tank top and stone wash jeans (and a large tan trench coat during work hours) as her choice in clothing. Long legs with cute size 10 feet in pink flip-flops. (Though she'll wear long black boots with a 2" heel and no socks instead if she's working) Each of her breasts are the size of a magic 8 ball. White skin color with a bit of a tan set in. And finally, she stands in at 5' 4" tall.


Personality: Chaos is a very loving and gentle creature, being very protective of her friends and those close to her. But she can become evil minded and furious at other beings that try to hurt her or her friends. And if she or her friends are hurt in some way or another, she can sometimes become completely consumed by anger, and will rage on everything in her path. She returns to her former self only after she makes sure either she or her friends are completely safe.


Powers: Due to the experiments Chaos underwent in Area 51 during the time she was created, she possesses Hydrokinesis, (the ability to control water), and many people believe this to be the reason for her Shape-Shifting ability's. She also possesses incredible super strength and high physical durability no matter what form she takes. She can extend her limbs, is an expert swimmer, a skilled climber, and some even fear that she possesses the power of immortality. (Undecided at this time, but we'll see)


History: According to the Area 51 scientists, Chaos was created in an experiment in order to create the worlds first human made super-powered Shape Shifter. Though Chaos has a different theory in mind ever since she first woke up in Area 51. She believes she was once human, was kidnapped, and then forced into mad experiments that made her into what she is today.


For a long time now, she has been searching all over the city and any area she could sneak into in Area 51 for any information that might uncover who she really once was. But with little to no luck, (and being caught every single time she tried) Chaos has mostly given up on finding out the truth about her, if there really is any.


Nowadays, Chaos spends most of her time playing video games and snacking on junk food. She can be very messy and often times more than a little bit childish. But she always shows her kindness whenever it's needed, even during the worst of times. Other hobbies include cos-playing, singing and dancing, spying on others, and indulging in her own (and sometimes others) sexual pleasures.
Jeremiah had to blink as he exited the base, from the back. "What is that?"

Frank chuckled. "Your home for the next five years."

"Why didn't I see it when I came to the base?"

"Cloaking device."

"Cloaking device?"

"Has its uses," said the werewolf. "Set one up, and you can hide everything in a 25 mile by 25 mile zone, or make it look like the surrounding area, especially to satellites. Stops two feet from the door."

"How did you get one of those?" Jeremiah asked.

"Got one during the Roswell Incident in '47."

"I thought that was a weather balloon thing."

"That was a cover-up."

"So, the story about the Air Force finding alien bodies was true?"

"Actually, that was the cover-up of the cover-up."

"That was a lie too?! What's the truth of the story?"

"Family of Martians on vacation to Venus. Their ship was having issues, so they tried to land on Earth, only to find themselves at the mercy of a bad storm. The ship crashed, unable to fly again. We came upon it, found the family in shock, but alive. Took them, and the ship, to the base, and we were able to patch the ship up - it wasn't pretty, but it held together long enough for the family to find a guy on Venus to fix it up proper."

Jeremiah blinked at this. "How do you know?"

"I was the lead officer on the case," said Frank. "That and I got this in the mail a year later." The werewolf opened up the door to a police car, one that was larger than your standard police car, and flipped down the sun visor. There was a picture pinned to it, which had five creatures that resembled aliens that would be found in your typical Sci-Fi film from the fifties, big headed creatures with antennas, skinny bodies, and long limbs. Two were obvious adults, two were children, or had to be, while the fifth was clearly a baby. "They named the baby after me, Frank Graxikizoom."

"Seriously? They named the kid after you?"

"If someone saved your life, wouldn't you wish to name your next child after them, to honor them?"

Jeremiah chuckled nervously. "I guess you have a point."

"Even better than that, I was named the kid's Godfather, or something like that."

This stunned Jeremiah. "How would that even work? Kid's on another planet!"

"Kid's family would be first in line for adoption, for obvious reasons, with me being next," said Frank. "That being said, she is an adult now, and she lives in Monster City now. That and she is an officer on the police department."

"They named a girl Frank?"

Frank chuckled nervously. "I didn't want to offend them by correcting them. That, and it was too late to change it."

"Didn't anyone point that out to her?" Jeremiah asked.

"Only if you want to tell a 20 foot tall woman that she has a guy's name."

Jeremiah looked at the picture again. "Well, how was I suppose to know? It's not like there was a reference in this picture."

Frank got out his wallet, and pulled out a picture. "This one does."

Jeremiah looked at the picture. It had Frank standing next to one of the aliens from the other picture, or rather one that resembled them, and the creature was between two and three times as tall as Frank was. The human chuckled nervously as he returned the picture. "I see now."

"Good. Now, get in the car."

Jeremiah got in the passenger side, and Frank got in the driver seat.

"Just one thing," said Jeremiah. "Can I contact the Outside World? I might want to explain to my family why I'm not coming back."

"You have a wife?"

"No, but when your father happens to be the Chief of Police, well, you might want to let him know that you're safe, and not in need of rescue."

Frank chuckled at this. "I understand." He then started the car. "We'll do that at the station, and I'll let you call him on the phone."

"Thanks."

"Just one thing; all calls to and from the Outside are monitored, as is the mail leaving the area. Mention anything that's Classified, and you won't have to worry about going to prison."

"What do you mean?"

Frank gave an open grin, revealing his sharp, and pointy, teeth. "Given that the city is filled with creatures from every Myth, Legend, the realms of Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Horror, and more, to say nothing about different abilities, I can guarantee that no one would even find a trace of you."

Jeremiah gulped.

"That being said, keep quiet, or, if you have to, speak in vague terms that would get the idea across, without giving away the secret, and you will be fine," said Frank. "And, you don't need to fear me too much, it's against the law for me to just kill you for no reason, or, should I say eat you for no reason. It would have to be an extreme situation for me to do that."

"Like what?"

"If you committed Treason, or divulged the existence of the city," said Frank. "As it is, here's the story you are to tell your father; You took a wrong turn, and the car broke down. The Base Brass allowed you to stay until your car was fixed. Problem was, you saw something Classified, and for your safety, you had to Enlist, and be Stationed at Area 51."

Jeremiah blinked at this. "I'm to tell him that? I mean, that's basically the truth."

Frank chuckled. "Exactly. It doesn't pay to tell a made-up story. The basic truth will be fine, so long as you don't mention seeing a fish person, or a werewolf, or an image of an alien with a werewolf, or anything like that."

"And he'll buy this?"

"He will when I talk to him. Talk to someone in a polite and understanding manner, and you'd be surprised at what they'll accept."
Beulah was in her office polishing her katnana, she heard about the incident with the Human and the Mermaid, and how the Human was the new partner of that overbearing werewolf, she looked outside and saw Atomica sleeping outside, soaking in the sun, Atomica was pleasant to be around but very naive.
Atomica stirred in her sleep. She was mildly telepathic when she was dreaming. She dreamed that a mouse thought she was smarter than Atomica. Atomica snorted. A mouse! Put some cheese in a mousetrap and you catch a mouse. Meanwhile the ants come along and bit-by-bit carry the cheese away. But Atomica was only one ant, not many. She missed the hive. It was lonely being a giant ant. She woke up and walked over to the window where Beulah was looking out.

"What are you doing?" Atomica asked.

"I'm polishing my katana," Beulah said, and held up the bright, shiny sword.

"Looks polished enough already. I hear there is a new cop on the force, a human."

"Yeah. The usual story - shanghaied for five years. And they teamed him with Frank, that obnoxious werewolf."

"Frank's not so bad," Atomica said. "There's far worse around here."

In the cafe across the street, Tania had gotten herself stuck on the day shift again. On the one hand, it meant a perpetual risk of vaporization from the light coming in through the windows... ...And on the other, an excuse to wear her favourite skin-tight latex burqa, with the UV visor.

"Sorry, sir." She gritted out sweetly to the impatient demon that vociferously maintained it had gotten the wrong drink back. "Here's you re-fund." Rather than try and get another drink, the fiend threw a few more unpleasant adjectives her way and stomped off. Fortuitously, there had been no one waiting in line behind it, not at this time of day.

Tania brushed some imaginary dust off her sleeve. She liked her outfit, and the fact that the manager had given up trying to make the various humanoid and less-humanoid personnel wear a uniform before resigning herself to only insisting on a badge, but even with the goggles on, it was hard to see outside. The street wasn't very busy, let alone the cafe, though there were a few pedestrians slouching about and some traffic-

-and a human in a police cruiser. Tania did a double take, suddenly feeling hungry at the sight of that gorgeous, inviting neck flashing in the sun, looking naked and incomplete without a neat set of bite marks. Ah, didn't that bring back memories... Heck, what it was attached to sure didn't look bad either; hopefully she could get a piece of that sometime. He seemed to have found himself press-ganged into Law Enforcement, though, so she might get a chance to know him while she was Watering the Plants.

Or, to use the accepted vernacular, shaking down gutter-scum for information. Too bad he seemed to be in the genial keeping of everyone's favourite friendly-neighbourhood Officer Frank Greyfur. Quite a card, Mr. Greyfur. He had, after all, won the War (she could never remember which one exactly; it changed too often) all by himself, with both hands tied behind his back and wearing a blind-fold. And all she could mumble was something about planting a banner atop the Reichstag, even if her vampiric nature prevented her from appearing in any of the photographs. Rats.

Still, a new human in town with a badge... That could be interesting. And somewhere in the city, it would probably be found valuable to know, too.
Terrance was at his clinic treating one of the human residence from a near fatal zombie bite.

"Thanks for seeing me on short notice Dr. Longhorn." The man said.
"No problem Mr. Miller, you were lucky the guards stopped the attack or you've joined the ranks of the undead. Now this may sting a bit." He injects a blue liquid from a syringe into the bite mark on Mr. Miller's arm and almost instantly the arm heals up. "Wow," Mr. Miller says "What did you inject me with?" Terrance says "A quick healing solution, much like how a werewolf heals."
Mr. Miller asks "Speaking of which, did you know that Werewolf, Sargent Frank Grayfur has a partner now? A human." Terrence says "So I've heard, I also heard that human saw Marena skinny dipping." Mr. Miller says "I don't believe it, without her shells?" Terrance nods. Mr. Miller says "I suppose that's it, so how much do I owe you?" Terrence says "An Emergency visit such as this, it's on the house." Mr. Miller says "What about the zombie who bit me, what's going to happen to him." Terrance says "Don't worry about him, he being punished as we speak, biting or eating humans within city limits is usually frowned upon."
"Then I better get going. Don't want to be late for work." "I'll call Mr. Faust and tell him your on your way." As Mr. Miller left, Terrance pressed the button on his intercom, a female voice says "Yes Dr. Longhorn?" Terrance says "See if you can put Mr. Phineas Faust on the phone Ms. Brownhoof and see if you can get in touch with Jeremiah Johnson for his check-up."
A Non-Existent User
Amanda snuck up on Henry who was currently working in one of the Area 51 labs. Using her fox-like stealth she crept up on him before moving her muzzle up to the unsuspecting humans ear and licking it, “How’s it going my cute, little human?” Henry jumped while shaking in fright a little, trying to balance the beakers in his hands, “Geez Amanda, don’t sneak up on me like that when I’m working with dangerous chemicals.”

The kitsune chuckled, taking a seat next to her human fiancé at the lab table. Looking curiously as her ears twitched she asked, “So is this one of the projects due in the next month?” Henry nodded, “It’s the carbon-based serum; X62, yes.” The kitsune ears perked up and she grinned, she cutely pinched the human’s cheek, “Aw you’re so adorable, my little genius solving world problems.” Henry grinned and blushed, “Oh don’t make me laugh, you’re the brains in this relationship.” Amanda chuckled, “Well it helps when you have the ability to read an entire book just by touching it.”

Her tails started to wander towards the human’s waist as they gently wrapped around him and squeezed him lovingly. Amanda was a bit of a distraction at the lab but she only did it because she loved exercising her freedom of being able to walk around in her true form. For thousands of years her and her family had to blend into human society as much as they could. Now, here, she could be who she wants to be and not feel the need to disguise herself, and she loves spending time with those that openly accept her for who she is.

Especially considering she’s met quite a few humans throughout her long life that would love to call her a witch or demon and kill her in some gruesome way to ‘purify the world of her evils’. Amanda moved her paws up to Henry’s shoulders and started massaging them while he dutifully continued his task, “So have you heard the news? There’s a new human in town.” Henry responded, “Eh, that’s not much of a big deal. Hell, some families of the military personnel here openly drop by to live in the city. The few who know think it’ll be a thrill to live in a city filled with almost every remaining monster in the western hemisphere. What’s so special about this one?”

Amanda smirked, “Well nothing much… besides the fact that he’s joining the police force. I might even work with him now and again if they ever call me in.” Henry sighed, “Must’ve been that crazy werewolf… he’d hire anybody… do you remember that time he hired a zombie with no legs to be his bodyguard?” Amanda chuckled and squeezed him a bit with her tails, “Oh, that’s probably just another rumor… I mean I know Officer Greyfur could be a little loopy at times...”

Henry grinned, “A little…?” Amanda rolled her eyes, “Ok maybe a lot, but still I heard the human used to be a cop in New York City and I’ve heard it’s pretty tough there.” Henry groaned, “Well… it’s certainly not a city full of monsters that’s for sure.” Henry returned to his experiment while the couple sat in silence, Amanda laid her head on top of Henry’s lightly moaning and cuddling him, making it a bit uncomfortable for the human to navigate his microscope with a kistune practically laying on him.

Henry groaned, “Do you like making my job harder for me babe?” Amanda chuckled once more, giving the human’s nose a lick, “Oh please, you love it.” A loud static sound rang out through the room, it was Amanda’s walkie talkie, it hadn’t gone off in months. She picked it up and turned it on, “Hello, Officer Xu here.” Greyfur’s voice came through the speaker, “Officer Xu I need you to come down to the station it’s a dire emergency. We need you now more than ever.” Amanda groaned, “You said that last time when you needed me to go out and get you some donuts.”

Greyfur responded, “This time it’s different…” Amanda grunted, “Is it because of the new human on the force?” There was a swift response, “… maybe…” Amanda groaned, becoming more annoyed by the second, “I’ll be there as soon as possible.” Amanda put the talkie back in her pocket and stood up, pecking Henry on the cheek, “I’ll be back in a little bit honey. Good luck on X62.” The kitsune dashed out of the lab and began her trek back, towards the city.
Today was another bright sunny day for Chaos as she finished setting up her swimming pool outside in her front yard. It was more or less built for a child, but it did it's job for her, more or less anyway.


"There, almost done." Chaos said as she looked across from her yard towards the nearby water channel that was built a few years back in order to make the city look and feel more peaceful, instead of it just a city surrounded by a giant desert.


The channel itself ran straight through the middle of town from the west side where Groom Lake was, to the east side of the city, and finally back around to the north where it returned to the lake once more. They also built a small park in the center of the city that had a roundabout around it with four bridges going north, south, east, and west above the channel, while the channel itself went around Roundabout Park (as it was named after completion) like a whirlpool.


As a stroke of luck, Area 51 scientists just happened to build Chaos's house on the mid-east side of the city, right alongside where the channel would later be built, not only giving her a safe place to practice her Hydrokinesis, but also providing a water source for her swimming pool.


Speaking of water for the pool, now was the time Chaos started commanding the water from the channel to come to her, and like a serpent, the water moved through the air over and around her, and gently pored into the small pool.


"Alright! now for the final part." Chaos said as she took off her outerwear and slowly started changing her appearance. And when the transformation was complete, she looked the same way she did before, except she was much shorter now, (picture the height of your average 10 year old girl) and able to sit inside her child sized pool now without any hassle.


"Ahh. This feels so damn nice." Chaos said as she spread her toes and kicked the water around with her feet, having fun just as a real child would.
Meanwhile, Jeremiah had found himself in a very awkward and dangerous, not to mention embarrassing, position. He was hanging from a chandelier in the Medical Examiner's room, with a battle raging below him, and he was in his underpants, and trying to keep his legs, arms, and the rest of his body, above the carnage.

"Why didn't you tell me that you was wearing something red?" roared Frank.

"How was I supposed to know this guy was allergic to the color?" Jeremiah shouted. He looked down, to see the werewolf battling with the cattle-man-thing that was supposed to be one of the city's doctors, or, more accurately, hanging onto the thing, trying to put it into a sleeper-hold.

The cattle-man began slamming into the wall with his back, trying to dislodge the wolf-man.

"That's going to hurt in the morning," Frank gasped out, as one of these slamming cause something that was very sensitive to get pinched. "I'm going to need some Extra-Extra Strength Tylenol for that!"

Jeremiah groaned as he heard that. Then he looked at his red underpants - if only he'd worn tighty-whities instead, he wouldn't have had to jump when the doctor came into the room, as the doctor wouldn't have charged him. Then, he heard something that caused him to look up. He saw that the ceiling around the chandelier's base was starting to crack, and give way due to the weight it was holding up.

"This is not good Frank!" he shouted. "Not good!"
Beulah was walking around the lake with Atomica.

"I know you think I'm Naive." Atomica said "I'm not, I'm just naturally optimistic, unlike you."

"I don't like living here." Beulah replied "We're not like most of the Other Creatures here, we're not ancient magical beings or creatures from another Planet, we're just Animals who can talk, it's not even our fault...Well I guess it's no one's fault being what they are...But we started out as normal animals or were born from normal animals, but society doesn't approve of Animals that can talk, it might upset the 'natural order' of things so we're labeled 'monsters' and shipped out here!"
"I suppose so," Atomica said, "but I really am a monster. Even to other ants I am a monster."

"Maybe one day you will meet another giant ant," Beulah said.

"Do you really think so? That would be awesome."

"Say, have you ever considered being a soldier?" Beulah asked. "You know I am a mercenary sometimes, right? When I look at you I see somebody who could really be effective on the battlefield. You're built like a tank."

"I am? No, I've never even held a gun, but I would be willing to try."

"Great! If a new job comes my way then I will recommend they hire you also. Hey, what do you say we go grab an ice cream at the Café and talk to Tania?"
With the last customers having left at the end of a busy shift, Tania was wrapping up. Unexpectedly the bell tinkled, and a humanoid cat slinked in on feline feet, a very, very large ant treading at her heels with considerably less stealth.

"Beulah! Atomica!" The vampire said, voice muffled through her mask. "What luck; I was just about to close up. What can I get for you two?"

"Hot fudge sundae, please. 26 of them." Said Atomica, with a surprisingly high-pitched voice for something that could eat rhinos likes popcorn shrimp.

"Vanilla milkshake." Said Beulah.

"So... Did you hear Frank picked up another one earlier?" Said Atomica as Tania began to blur behind the counter.

"That human?" Said the vamp. "Yeah. He's cute. Do you think he'll get used to the job, with some big guns, or will somebody off him?"

"One or the other," Said Beulah. "This city has a police force better armed and jumpier than some national armies. Either he'll end up eaten breaking up a mugging, or learn to use the bazooka fast."

"Well, you can't really blame them for having so much firepower, can you?" Asked Atomica, compound eyes fixed on a steadily multiplying cluster of ice-creams on the countertop. "I mean, considering what they have to put up with."

"I guess you've got a point." Said the mutant-cat. "I wish the surveillance wasn't so good, though. By the way, Tania, is that get-up new? it reminds me of some of my old coworkers."

"Visor's different," Said the vampire with a disproportionate feeling of accomplishment as she at last got work on the milkshake. "Alas, it still prevents people from enjoying my beautiful face."

"And there I thought you had to wear a body-suit because of a court-order," Said Atomica between carefully savoured sundaes. "Anyways, about that human, I think he'll fit in. If he doesn't go insane like the last one."

As they chatted, the trio were sadly oblivious to how nearly the object of their discourse was to being flattened.
Just then Dr. Longhorn's centauress secretary comes into the examination room and breaks up the fight giving Terrance something to calm him down. "You were supposed to be used to the color red." Terrance held up his hand "I'll be okay, just give me a minute to rest." Ms. Brownhoof turns to Jeramiah, "My apologies for the Doctor, usually he isn't like this way. Oh, I see. One of those colored underwears." She quickly goes to one of the boxes and pulls out a white hospital gown. "Quickly, for safety sake, take off your underwear and put this on." she turns to the werewolf "I recall when his father operated on you after that incident in Iraq. Honesty, all that blood and he didn't gone through the rage like that."
A Non-Existent User
Amanda stepped out of her car, finally arriving at the police station. She briskly walked inside, trying to be in and out as fast as possible. She walked up to the main desk where a bored looking succubus lazily flipped through magazines and played with her horns protruding out of her forehead, wrapping locks of her hair around them. Amanda cleared her throat making the succubus jump in surprise, “Oh, Amanda it’s only you. Haven’t seen you here in quite a bit. Why are you here?”

Amanda answered, “Officer Fleabag called me in to meet his new human buddy… where are they anyways?” The succubus giggled, “Oh they went strait to the Medical Examination room.” The kitsune groaned, “This stupid werewolf is going to have me running all over creation for THIS.” The kitsune bid farewell to the desk attendant as she sped off towards the Medical Examination room. Once there she burst into the room and said in an annoyed tone, “Ok I’m here Greyfur. Now show me the human so I can get the hell out of here.”

She started scanning the room, seeing Greyfur a bit shaken up, like he had just got in the fight of his life and small human in a hospital gown. Chuckling to herself she said again, “Honest I shouldn’t even be surprised at this point.” Looking a bit more concerned she turned to the werewolf, “Are you feeling… alright Officer Greyfur?” She soon notices the additional minotaur doctor and centauress secretary in the room with them.
Chaos had been soaking in the pool for over an hour now, and it looked like there were clouds that were starting to form an overcast.


"That's strange." Chaos thought to herself.


"The news said there wouldn't be a single cloud in the sky today." Chaos continued thinking, confused if they had made a mistake. But she soon shrugged it off and decided to get out of her pool and put everything away, including the water from the channel, and the pool itself.


"I wonder what else i could do today?" Chaos thought as she finished putting the pool away in her garage. She expected it to be sunny all day today, and thus she could soak in her pool and catch some rays as well. But now she had to revise her plans for the rest of today.


"Hmm. Perhaps I'll go see if anyone needs my help down at the station." Chaos said as she returned to her normal height, then went inside her house real quick to pick up some snacks and her waterproof backpack. Then she put said snacks in said backpack went back outside and put her outerwear in it as well.


Then she slipped the backpack over her shoulders and lunched herself right over her fence and into the water channel. From there, she swam with the current to the northern end of the city, where the busier end of the city, and the police station, were located.
Frank chuckled, having regained his breath. "Well, Amanda. Do you want to know the long story, or the short version?"

The kitsune looked right at him, with a somewhat bored expression. "I'll have the short version."

Frank pointed at the human. "Jeremiah here likes to wear red underwear, and had to take a physical. The chandelier's messed up, as is the ceiling around it. Longhorn here looks like he's been in a fight, and my back is killing me, as is something else. Do you need to know anything else, or do I need to give you more details?"

Amanda chuckled. "I get the picture."

"Good." Frank groaned as he stood up. "Wait outside for a moment - I need to talk to you about something. Doc, you good enough to give Jeremiah his physical?"

"Now that the accursed red underwear is gone, yes."

"Good," said Frank. "I think we can leave the two of you alone."

With that, the werewolf, centaur, and kitsune left the room, leaving Jeremiah alone with the minotaur.

"Well now, Jeremiah," Dr. Longhorn said, as he placed a set of sterilized gloves on his hands. "Let's get started. After all, we must conduct a thorough examination of your body."

Jeremiah gulped. "How thorough are we talking about?"

The minotaur picked up a rectal thermometer. "Very thorough. Now turn around and bend over."

Meanwhile, Frank and Amanda were walking down the hall when they heard Jeremiah scream.

"I hate it when the Doc does his through examinations," said Frank. "You can't sit for a week!"

Amanda groaned. "You can't sit? I can't have sex!"

"Um, speaking of having sex, we need to have a talk."

"Frank, I'm engaged, not that it would bother me too much, but I want to abstain from any other man, except him, at least until the first child is born," said Amanda.

"Actually, that's the problem."

"Excuse me?"

"Look, what you and Henry do on your own time is your business," said Frank. "I'm the last guy to tell someone not to have sex, especially with my, um, reputation, but when the two of you are on the clock, either one of you, well, actually, when he's on the clock at any rate, I'm asking you not to go any further than a quick hug or kiss, and you're not to distract him from his work."

Amanda groaned. "Who complained?"

"It was brought to the attention of the Base Commander," said Frank. "Some of the others in the lab feel that you're more of a distraction than anything. He told me about it when I went to pick up Jeremiah."

"Does the Chief know?"

"No, and that's why I'm asking you not to fool around with Henry while he's on the clock," said Frank. "Because if the Chief knew, he'd have you barred from the base."

Amanda chuckled nervously. "I guess it's a good thing I'm hearing this from you, instead of from him."

"I'm glad you agree, because if I hear that you haven't stopped fooling around while Henry's on the clock, I will have to tell him."

Amanda sighed. "Will that be all?"

"Other than to tell you to get back to your patrol, yes."

"I'll see you later then." Amanda then began to walk away.

Frank chuckled as he watched the Kitsune. Older than Christ, and you still act like a teenager at her first prom, he thought.

A few hours later, Frank and Jeremiah were in the storage room, Frank searching through equipment, and Jeremiah moaning about the abuse his body had been through.

"It wan't bad enough that he stuck his hand up my butt, I had to produce a urine sample," Jeremiah said. "Then he stuck one thing up my nose, another down my throat, to say nothing about the one up my penis! Then he stuck something in my ear. Then there was these X-rays, MRIs, Catscans, and even an untrasound. Then, after a bunch of other things, including taking some blood samples - don't ask how that went - he grabs my testicles, and tells me to cough. Only after all that, does he have my blood pressure taken, along with a throat check. Claimed that I was highly stressed out!"

Frank chuckled. "Actually, the only thing that was necessary was the part where he stuck his hand up your ass, and that was to insert a chip that one can use to check on your health at an instant."

"Then, why the rest?" Jeremiah asked.

"Testing to make sure that the device worked," said Frank. "That and to make sure that his skills are still in top shape, just in case something goes wrong with the device, and he has to do things himself."

"How often do I have to go through that abuse?"

"Once a year, at the very least," said Frank. "That being said, in an emergency, he tends to be our main doctor, but, if you don't want him, we could find someone else."

Jeremiah groaned. "One torturer is as bad as another." He then looked at the uniforms, which didn't look much different from any other police uniform, except in color, and such, like every other uniform. "Do you guys have any actual body armor?"

Frank chuckled. "These are body armor. Keep you warm in extreme cold, cool in extreme heat, stops most types of trauma, like the force of a cannonball, or a tank from crushing you, or a giant, fireproof - pissed off dragon could spray you with flames for hours, and you'd be fine."

"Is there any weaknesses?" Jeremiah asked.

"Yeah, before you face off against a dragon, or decide to explode the depths of the ocean, put a helmet on," said Frank, as he pulled one of the devices out. "We're still working on the full-face cloth section - at the moment, there's issues with seeing and breathing, along with hearing."

"So, weapons?"

Frank picked up a shotgun. "Tranquilizers are your first option in a confrontation. Suspects are easier to deal with when they are calm, or about to sleep."

"And if they don't calm down?"

"We increase the amount of force - but you start off with another tranquilizer," said Frank. "If things get really bad though," Frank walked over to what looked like some sort of hand-held rocket launcher. "Every patrol car has one of these in the back. It's coded to current police officers, or those with an Honorable Discharge. Anyone else tries to use it though, firing mechanism is locked, and all it's good for is a club."

"Anything else I need?"

Frank grinned. "Yep!" He tossed a small package, which Jeremiah caught.

Jeremiah looked at the package, and then at Frank. "Condoms?"

"Let's just say that some informants are more talkative when they are being pleasured," said Frank. "That, and you can put them over the muzzle of your gun to keep dirt from getting down the barrel."

Jeremiah groan. "So, just how long has this place existed?"

"Unofficially, the Founders settled the area shortly after the American Civil War, as it was unwanted by humans," said Frank. "Officially though, since January of 1942, shortly after Pearl Harbor was attacked. FDR saw to that."

"You mean the president who was stricken with polio, and wheelchair-bound?"

Frank nodded. "That's the one. In a way, I was the reason that talks even started in the first place."

"What do you mean?" Jeremiah asked.

"The Army was in charge then - there was talks that they were going to try and kill us - we'd heard stories about what was going on in Europe and Asia you understand - all the death and destruction that was going on. Our leader resolved that we wouldn't go down without a fight, not this time. There would have been a battle too, if not for one thing."

"What was that?"

"A high-ranking General had a car crash, and I saved his life," said Frank. "He convinced the rest that perhaps peace with us might benefit both groups. After that, FDR came, and talked with our leader, and they came up with a very good deal. The military keeps our existence a secret, and we help them out in really difficult situations, like when they need to kill a highly dangerous enemy without risking a war."

"That's the agreement?"

"There's more to it, but that can wait until some other time," said Frank. "For now though, time to get you dressed, and take you on patrol."

"So, what do we do?"

"Same thing you'd normally do; ticket speeders, settle domestic issues, stop purse-snatchers, and rescue cats stuck in trees."

"Seriously?"

"Some of the time, the cats do it on purpose."
Beulah was not sure why the Vampire kept mistaking her for a Cat when she was obviously a Mouse, maybe the sunlight in her eyes disrupted her vision, but in the meantime she went home and feeling a bit stressed because of the hot summer heat, she decided to play a computer game,

Just when she had started she heard an explosion, it sounded like it was five miles away
Beulah walked out into the backyard. Atomica was there looking in the direction of the explosion sound. "Did you hear that?" Atomica said.

"Yes. What was it?"

"I don't know, but it was something big. Look! There's a cloud of smoke rising."
Dusk was settling over Monster City, carefully prepping it for the more active night. The last slanting rays of sunlight lit up the huge cloud of smoke beautifully, shading it a gorgeous orange and red as it slowly mushroomed out over the rooftops.

Stepping out of the cafe at last, in wake of the two mutants, Tania's ears perked up at the rumble. Her feet hit the pavement like hail as she ran off, dodging other inquisitive pedestrians. It seemed that a sizeable percentage of the city also wanted to know what had happened. Perhaps it was a gas leak, or a sizeable car crash -or, in a city full of magic users, it could very well be something far more sinister. There was no telling what she could uncover if she could only get there quick enough.

Across the city, Frank's ears twitched at the sound. "Hear that?" He looked at Johnson, and took a deep breath. "Smells like smoke. Let's go!" He could hear the phones starting to ring in the main office as he practically vaulted into the cruiser.
Meanwhile, is cleaning up after the mess he made after his seeing-red-rage. "What a mess, I thought I trained myself to keep calm while seeing the color red. *sigh* Officer Johnson will hopefully wear some other color underwear besides red. I thought those undergarments come only in cotton white." Ms. Brownhoof helps "I don't know why you chose this profession from your adoptive father." "Because I heard the real power is saving lives instead of wasting them." Ms. Brownhoof picked up a broom "Better let me do the blood tests, after all I'm also a registered nurse." They both felt a rumble "What was that?" "I don't know but I don't like it."
A Non-Existent User
After hearing a loud bang ring through her pointed ears and seeing a bright flash in the distance, Amanda looked to see an explosion off in the distance. She looked on with a bit of awe, wondering what it could be, especially in a desert area like this. Who would be making explosions around here. She immediately changed her route in her patrol car. Looks like Henry would have to wait, and what a shame to, he was almost off the clock. She grimaced as she started driving above the speed limit, racing to the explosion site. She growled angrily to herself, “This better be good or whoever is messing with me is going to get their head twisted off.” She then pushed her footpaw against the gas, nearly flooring it as she sped towards her destination.
By the time Chaos had made it to the northern end of the city, she swam upwards and leaped over the channel and onto a patch of grass. It tickled her feet a little, causing her to giggle as she found a bush big enough to hide behind and began putting her outerwear back on.


Once she was done, she got up and was about to make her way inside the police station, (the police station sat on the most northern tip of the city, right alongside the water channel) Until she Saw a bright light flash in the direction of the southern end of the city, where the lower class and homeless people lived. But it didn't seem like it originated in the southern part of the city, just in the direction.


Then the ground shook as a cloud of smoke began rising above the city from where the flash came from.


"What the Hell is going on over there?!" Chaos said out loud. Just then, she saw a police cruiser speeding out of the police station. It was none other than Grayfur's cruiser, and from what she could tell, he had a human partner sitting in the passenger seat.


"Hey! Grayfur! Wait for me!" Chaos shouted as she tried to catch up with them, only for them to end up ignoring her and speeding off towards the sight of the explosion.


"Aww. And i just got here too." Chaos said disappointment. Just then, she had an idea of how she could catch up with them, and find out what was going on over there as well. So she began extending her arms and grabbed onto one of the lampposts. Then she ran and lept upwards, swinging herself about twenty feet into the air. And from there, she let go of the lamppost and extended her other arm and grabbed onto the ledge of a nearby building.


Now Chaos was swinging from building to building, (kinda like Spider Man, but instead of swinging with webs, Chaos was extending her limbs) and gaining speed as well from the momentum. It soon came to the point where she carried herself over and beyond Grayfur's squad car, leaving them to watch from behind as she (and everyone else who came along) arrived at the place the explosion happened.


"No way..." Chaos said as she lowered herself down to the ground before the next bridge. Or what was left of it anyway.


"Someone blew up Roundabout Park's northern bridge!" Chaos shouted as Grayfur's car pulled up behind her and the now collapsed bridge. The rubble was blocking off parts of the channel, causing a back-flow in the channel itself, and forcing the water to go the other way around.


"Who could've done this?" And then Chaos looked at Roundabout Park from the other side of the bridge. It looked like there was indeed someone else over there, but she couldn't get a good look from where she was to tell if they were human or animal, let alone if there were others hiding in the park as well.


"Chaos." Chaos heard Grayfur talking behind her as she turned around to face him and his new partner.
"Nice to see you, Greyfur," Chaos said, with a nervous chuckle.

"So, what's going on?" Jeremiah asked. "Is this the work of terrorists?"

"Let me sniff the air a moment," said Frank. The werewolf breathed long, and deep. "Well, that's the problem."

"Terrorists?" Jeremiah asked.

"Nope, worse," said Frank. "Custody battle between a dragon and a demon over who gets the kids, and who has to pay child support."

"How is that worse?" Jeremiah asked.

"Chicago Fire of 1871, San Francisco Earthquake of 1906, Pompeii in 79 AD, and the worst one of all, Atlantis, or so the story goes for that one," said Frank. "Never saw them myself, as I was only a child at the time of the San Francisco one, but I did see the incident in 1944 near Mount Vesuvius. Name a mass destruction that had a fire, or an earthquake, or a volcano being the culprit, and you can find a pair of demons or dragons, or one of each, involved in some sort of dispute of one nature or another."

"Then how do you know it's a custody battle?" Jeremiah asked.

"I happen to know the couple involved," said Frank. "The husband is one of us, and the wife is a nurse at the hospital, and they have two kids."

"So, what do we do?" Jeremiah asked.

"You put your helmet on, and we'll go mediate, or try to break up the fight, and you get to talk to Margret - she'll be easier to handle than Joseph."

"What one's which?"

"Margret's the dragon who will be breathing streams of flames," said Frank. "Joseph will be the demon throwing fireballs."

"What about the rest of the city?" Jeremiah asked.

"We are a ways away from fault-lines, volcanoes, and the buildings are fireproof," said Frank. "Aside from some minor cosmetic damage, things should be fine, especially if we move fast."
"I'm the woman!" Margret screamed. "It's as simple as that! The woman always gets the kids!"

"Not always!" Joseph yelled back. "Not when she's a half-witted, alcoholic floozy who feeds the kids French fries for breakfast!"

"There's nothing wrong with fries for breakfast! They are potatoes, you idiot! Have you never heard of hash browns? You're an opinionated psycho who would make the kids crazy! Much better they stay with the mother who loves them! You'll see. That's what a judge will say."

"Not when he hears the truth about YOU!"
Slightly disappointed, Tania leaned against a girder, waiting until the last minute before emergency workers ordered her back. The tussle in the park was looking to be violent -half the green was already burning. Even if it was nothing juicy, though, an enraged dragon and angry demon going at it down town would prove to be quite a sight. She could only wish she had thought to grab some popcorn.
Back at Dr. Longhorn's office, one of his fellow doctors, a 3-headed-dog like demon(A Cerberus) came in "Didn't you hear Dr. Longhorn?" the center head says, "Margret and Joseph are fighting over their kids again." the left head continues, "Disaster always fallows when they fight." The right head finishes.
Terrance says "Oh my god, last time they had a fight, Mt. St. Helens erupted I better get to Roundabout Park before New York City blows up or worse. Could you cover for me Dr. Hellfire?"
A Non-Existent User
Amanda arrived at the site of the explosion and hopped out of her car, approaching Greyfur and his human companion she asked, “So what’s the deal with the bridge? Someone blow it up?” The werewolf grunted and nodded, “Yep. Margret and Joseph.” Amanda groaned and rolled her eyes, “Seriously… AGAIN?! Those two need to take a chill pill. I can’t believe they’ve been married this long?” Greyfur chuckled, “Over two thousand years and still going strong.” Amanda pouted and put her paws on her hips, her tails wagging freely behind her, “Well… you obviously don’t need me here so I’ll just see myself to my patrol car.” The kitsune slowly backed up towards her patrol car, hoping to get out of doing yet another insane police job that would most likely threaten her life or at least her sanity. But by the look that the werewolf was giving her she’d most likely have to participate in calming the enraged couple down. Amanda groaned, "Please don't tell me you're going to make me DO stuff."
"Well whatever we're going to do let's do it already! The sooner we calm them down, the sooner we can stop them from destroying the whole park. " Chaos said as Grayfur turned to her and nodded.


"Alright." Grayfur said as he motioned for everyone to gather together real close as he started the mission briefing.


"Here's the plan..."
"We make sure we're suited up first, before we even try to talk them down," said Frank. "Only Emergency Personnel, Police Officers, and Security Forces are allowed in the park, and make sure that they are suited up! I don't want to hear about someone getting their fur singed, because the paperwork's a pain in the ass, and the Chief doesn't want to hear about it, because then we'd all get it!"

Amanda groaned. "And the next part?"

"You're taking Jeremiah with you, and talking to Margret," said Frank. "That dragon is easier to deal with, most of the time."

"What about you?" Jeremiah asked.

"I'll take Joseph, he might calm down with me quicker, and I want Chaos to act as support, ready to douse them with water if they don't calm down," said Frank.

"Why are you going to take on this Demon yourself?" Jeremiah asked.

"We've served together, and not just on the police force," said Frank. "We've saved each other's lives on a few occasions. I might be able to calm him down."
Beulah all this time saw the commotion and was surveying the territory, this might be her chance for escape!
"Don't do it," Atomica said.

"What?" Beulah said. "Are you reading my mind?"

"I can see what you are thinking by the way your eyes are darting around all over the place. I know what mice look like when they are trying to find a way to escape. Don't try it. They will hunt you down. You cannot escape Area 51... Ever."


Frank approached Joseph cautiously, palms out. "Hello, Joseph, old buddy! A little tiff with the wife?"

"She wants to leave and take the kids! You know that's not right, Frank!"
"I'm afraid that it's up to the Courts to decide what's right or not, Joe." Said Frank stiffly. As smoke streamed out of the demon's red nostrils, he decided to try and aim for a more cordial approach. "-But in any case, I bet that they'll agree with you! In the meantime, would you be so kind as to break off confrontations with your wife?"

The fiery creature grunted, but was kind enough to sit back on a park bench. Across the charred and steaming field, Jeremiah and Amanda seemed to be making some progress with Margaret. The human's eyes were the size of saucers, but at least he was still alive.
Terrance arrived and confronted Margret, "Hello Margret, you realize this isn't a behavior of a nurse. Do you realize every time you and Joe fight, it causes a disaster." Margaret says "Dr. Longhorn, what about the kids?"
A Non-Existent User
Amanda butted in, "We'll see to it that the kids stay in your possession if that's what you're worried about Margret." The kitsune half-lied, they could probably try to pull some strings in court but if it really came down to a divorce between them it was the judges decision alone. Then again the red, firey couple haven't broken up in over two millenia, Amanda found it hard to believe they'd break up NOW. The ktsune approached the dragon slowly and calmly, once underneath the dragon she started rubbing the massive creatures scaly stomach. Amanda read from one of the hundreds of thousands of books she's mentally devoured over the years that dragons can easily be brought into a tame, submissive state if their stomachs are rubbed, a technique knights would use to easily slay them in ancient Europe.

When rubbed the scaly gut the kitsune cooed, "There, there Margret. I'll personally make sure your kids stay with you. You are an outstanding mother after all. Maybe one day after Henry and I mate and produce a litter I could hope to be just as good of a mother as you are to my kits." Amanda grinned and chuckled under her breathe, she knew the dragon had a bit of an ego and commenting on her motherly skills would only calm her more. The dragon chuckled overhead, "You know you're right Amanda. I am quite the good mother, what do I have to worry about, it's Joe that has to worry if anybody. Do you know just how reckless he could be at time? Hardly a father figure... more like a bad influence." Amanda grinned, "So will you stop burning down the town then?" The massive dragoness nodded, "Certainly dear." Margret then caught sight of Jeremiah, "Oh and look at what we have hear. A new human in town? What's your name deary?"
While everyone else was busy trying to calm those two menacing monsters down, Chaos was busy preparing for her support action just in case the two in the park started fighting again.


"You know Chaos, being a firefighter for the city is actually kinda fun. Perhaps i should ask Grayfur if he could recommend me for a position in the MCFD after this is all over. It's not like anyone hires me for my normal services all that often anyway." Chaos said to herself in deep thought while she was waiting for her backup plan to build up into an effective one.


If either one of those two fire flinging monsters started back up again, she would drop the torrential wall of water she was building up from the water in the channel, and not only douse all of the scorched land in the park, but also douse everyone in the park as well. (The wall of water itself begins to build up before the water enters the circular portion of the channel where Roundabout Park is, and continues to build up like a giant hanging wave. If that's still not enough information for you about what this thing looks like, picture when Moses parted the Red Sea when he freed the slaves in Egypt. Just one of those parted waves, waiting to come crashing down at a moments notice)


"I just hope if trouble does start back up again between those two, that no one minds getting wet."
"Joseph, is something going on between you and Margret?" Frank asked, as he sat next to the demon. "I mean, I know you've had your arguments, but they are rarely anything beyond words, or some minor damage in, usually, remote areas, unlike some other demon or dragon couples. Let's face it, you've been married two thousand years to each other, and you've had like, three hundred children together, most of them are adults now, but you still have two that are underneath the age of eighteen."

Joseph chuckled at this. "I know. And I love the kids, and I want to be there for them, but me and Margret are having, issues."

"What kind?"

Joseph sighed. "I don't seem to be satisfying her anymore. She's been seeing other men behind my back."

"I see," said Frank. "I've been there as well. My Tina would visit other people to satisfy her sexual desires when I had issues preforming."

"How did you get over it?" Joseph asked.

Frank chuckled. "Started to take her to those Mixer Parties, if you know what I mean."

"Do those actually work?"

"They did for me and her," Frank said, with a hearty chuckle. "Let's just say that we began learning alternative methods of pleasuring each other, and after a while, I was able to preform again, and this time, it was better than before." He then sighed. "I miss her though. That cancer, it just ate her up."

"How are the other wives?" Joseph asked.

"Mary's pregnant again - that's a rabbit for you. Susan is always playing tricks - kitsunes for you. Jessica is always having sex with me, but that's a succubus for you, Then there's Robin - she's still adjusting to marriage. Been a month so far."

"She's an interesting human, that's for sure," said Joseph. "Do they go to the Mixers as well?"

Frank grinned. "They do."

"What's your favorite part?"

"When you're allowed to watch."

Joseph grinned. "I guess I'll have to try those."

"Hey, after a few of those parties, she'll be wanting you, and you will be wanting her," said Frank. "That's how it was with me and Tina."

Joseph looked across at Margret. "I guess I could give her another chance."

"Good," said Frank. "I'll give you the all clear signal if everything is good." The werewolf stood up, and began walking towards the dragon.

Meanwhile, Jeremiah and Amanda were talking to Margret.

"So, what do you think is the issue between you and Joseph?" Amanda asked.

Margret sighed. "To be honest, he's just not doing it for me any more, and to be honest, I've been seeing other people."

Jeremiah looked at Amanda. "What does she mean?"

"Trouble in bed," Amanda whispered. "Happens to a lot of people, especially if they've been together for centuries." Amanda spoke up. "Ever try a Mixer Party?"

Margret blinked. "Never."

"Perhaps you should," said Amanda. "I've had my share of fun during those, that is, before I got serious with Henry."

"Do you think that will help?" Margret asked.

"They might," said Amanda. "I've learned a few things at them, and Henry tends to enjoy a number of them."

Margret chuckled. "I guess I could try. I mean, I love Joseph, and I don't want to leave him. But, things have been dull."

"Well, just try, and maybe things will work out between you, and maybe we won't need to get the judge involved," said Amanda. "Or the fire department for that matter."

Margret grinned nervously. "We'll have to see about that one. Me and Joseph can get fiery passionate at times."

Amanda groaned. "I know." The kitsune began to walk towards Frank, Jeremiah following after her.

"You know, aside from the fact that she's a fire-breathing dragon, not much different from other women having issues with their husbands or boyfriends," said Jeremiah.

"It's how things are around here," said Amanda. "Not much different." The pair then stopped before Frank. "How's things on your end?"

Frank looked back at the demon. "Joseph is willing to give Margret another chance. What about Margret?"

"The same," said Amanda. "I recommended that they try going to Mixer Parties."

"Did the same," said Frank. "It might work. Worked for me, that's for sure."

"You're married?" Jeremiah asked.

Frank nodded. "I know what it's like. Got four wives currently."

Jeremiah blinked. "How does that work?"

"Lots of cooperation and teamwork are needed," said Frank. He then turned, and waved to Joseph. "She's all good now."

The demon began walking towards them. Frank turned towards Margret. "He's all good now." The dragon began walking towards them.

Soon, the pair were like ten feet from each other.

"Margret, I'm a jerk, I'm an ass, I'm a hothead, I'm whatever you want to call me," said Joseph. "But, the thing is, I love you. I don't want us to split up, not after all we've been through."

"Oh Joseph, I'm such a fool," said Margret. "I've cheated on you, I've insulted you, I've hurt you, I've hurt the kids with our fighting. How can you forgive me?"

"I've hurt you and the kids too," said Joseph. "Can you forgive me?"

At this, Margret all but jumped on Joseph. "Oh, how could I stay mad at you, you hot stud?"

Joseph's fiery eyebrows wiggled mischievously. "Give me some sugar, baby!"

The two locked lips, in a passionate manner, and things began to heat up, for a whole other reason than earlier.

Frank cleared his throat, causing the pair to look at him. "I hate to put a damper on this, but this is a Public Park." He then pointed at Chaos, who was still holding back a wall of water. "Don't make me tell her to cool you off."

The pair chuckled nervously.

"Now that you mention it, our bedroom would be much better."

"Oh yes, much better."

The two, once-again-romantic-lovebirds took off, either flying or lava surfing, away from the park.

"All's well that ends well," said Frank. "Chaos, see if you can use the heat to turn that water into a rain shower or something, and put these flames out completely. I don't fancy wearing this helmet any longer than I have to!"

"Is this a typical day?" Jeremiah asked.

Frank nodded. "So far."

"I'm surprised that there isn't an alien invasion or something going on," said Jeremiah.

Frank took a look at his watch. "Actually, tomorrow's the start of Tourist Season. Martains and Venitains will be showing up, along with other aliens. That's always fun!"

"What do you mean?"

"Imagine if the cities that were known for throwing parties, and I mean big ones, and imagine if they were all held at the same time, in the same place, and then quadruple it," said Amanda. "And the same goes for the messes, and the crimes - drunken partiers, pick-pocketing, fights, and the like. You'll be busy."
Beulah stared at the giant Ant for a long time but said nothing

"I'm going home." Beulah said firmly

"This is your home." Said Atomica
"No, it's not," Beulah said. "I'm going to tell you something I have never told anyone else out here. Can you keep it a secret?"

"You know I can," Atomica said. "You're the only friend I have and even if you weren't, I would keep your secret for you."

"I have a husband and children back in New York. They don't even know where I am."

"Do they know you are still alive?"

"I hope so," Beulah said. "My God, I hope so."
"What happened?" Buzzed Atomica in what the mouse considered to be a conspicuously loud voice. "Why are you living way out here, when it sounds like you'd like to get back together with them and -Oh." His antennae drooped. "You can't leave, can you?"

"If I've tried once, I've tried it a hundred times," Beulah scuffed the grass with her foot; an extreme act of fidgeting for the steely mutant. "Security's tighter than Alcatraz, and I would know. And if I take a gamble and commit myself, then get caught, they'll dice me up. Sometimes... Sometimes I don't know if I'm ever going to get out."
Terrance went back to the office, "How did it go?" Ms. Brownhoof asked. Terrance says "Disaster averted, glad it was stopped in time." Ms. Brownhoof asks "So what's next?" Terrance says "I don't know, been thinking of visiting my home country, Isle of Crete, Greece." Ms Brownhoof says "You know you can't leave here. They won't let you." Terramce saus "I know, I know. I was just thinking about it."
A Non-Existent User
The two monsters grinned at the clearly confused human, to them the tourist season was a hectic yet enjoyable one. For the human, he was probably more confused than ever. Then again it hasn’t even been his first day on the force yet and he’s already had to help break up a domestic dispute between a fire breathing dragon and her demon lover. Jeremiah could only imagine what would come in the upcoming days, let alone years. Especially if the alien visitors were as big in real life as they were in the photo Frank had taken with them. Taking a gulp the human nodded as the trio start back towards their patrol cars. Amanda turned to Greyfur, putting on her puppy dog eyes, “So… mind if I take the rest of the day off?” The werewolf grinned and nodded, “Sure…”

The kitsune jumped into the air in excitement, “YES!” Greyfur retorted sternly, “BUT… I expect you on patrol not only tomorrow, but for the rest of tourist season ALL day until your shift is over. I don’t care if there’s a minute left on your shift, you patrol until you shift is done GOT IT… and NO bringing Henry along with you. If I didn’t know better I’d say that I’M more protective of him then you are. I mean geez you might get the kid killed or something.” The kitsune lowered her head, “Ok… fine Dad.” The fox returned to her vehicle and sped off as Greyfur shook his head chuckling, “I swear sometimes I forget that girl’s almost 3000 years old, acts like she belongs in a college sorority than in America’s top research facility. What I don’t get is where does the teenage bullshit turn off and the genius turn on?” Patting his human companion on the back Greyfur headed towards his patrol car, “Come on, we’re on patrol little buddy. Gotta go catch bad guys.”
After the two love/hate birds moved on back to their love/hate nest, Chaos was about to put out the flames in the park with some of the water from the channel she was holding back from before, but before she even got the chance, it had already started raining.


"Huh? Oh right, the overcast from before, it must've been a rain shower or something." Chaos thought to herself as she decided to let the water go back into the channel. Then she approached Grayfur and Jeremiah as they were about to climb into their police cruiser.


"Hey guys. Great job out there." Chaos said as the two looked back at her.


"Yeah, same to you to Chaos. I've never seen someone able to move from building to building like you did before we arrived on the scene, nor have i seen anyone able to control water the way you did. It was impressive." Jeremiah said, almost praising Chaos as she crossed her right leg and twisted her right foot on the ground while holding her head down and blushing slightly.


"T-thank you sir." Chaos said, almost stuttering through her words as her mind became almost completely locked on Jeremiah.


"So, you want us to give you a lift home Chaos? Holding all that water up must've tired you out huh?" Grayfur said as he opened the back door for me.


"Y-yeah, thanks sir." Chaos said, still somewhat in a trance from Jeremiah's comment as she stepped into the back seat behind Grayfur, as Grayfur and Jeremiah climbed into the front and sped away.


"So Chaos, you did a pretty good job out there holding that water up. You ever thought about joining the MCFD? They could use someone of your expertise." Grayfur said as i had my eyes focused on Jeremiah, but was still able to think normally.


"Yeah, i was going to ask you about that myself. You think there's any strings you could pull for me to get me in quickly? Work's been slow for a while now. I've only had two clients this month, and both couldn't give me any money at all."


"Why's that?" Grayfur asked.


"The first client was a teen human male, who came to me a week ago about some missing meds. Said he was beaten up by some school bully's who took them from him. So after finding the punks and convincing them to talk, they told me all they found inside his bag were some used needles and a small bag of white powder. Then they told me they put two and two together and turned it over to the police."


"Ah, so that's where the drugs from last week came from. So what happened next?" Grayfur said as he recalled past events and wanted to know what happened next.


"Well i went to the human's home when his mother was there, and i told her everything, right as soon as the teen came down the stairs. Boy did she straighten him out. But yeah, i couldn't get paid from either of them because the teen was stealing money from his own mother and using it to buy the drugs. But then there was my second client."


"And what was wrong with this one?" Grayfur asked.


"Nothing big. Just some kid who lost the candy he'd been saving up since last Halloween. So i helped the kid retrace his steps and found it, but never got paid. Not that i expected him to you know."


"Sounds like you do need another job to help pay the bills and such. I'll give the fire dept. a call after i get Jeremiah settled into his new home." Grayfur said as Chaos looked back Jeremiah, thinking about doing some very...naughty things with him.


While Chaos was thinking about such thoughts, she opened her backpack and began taking off her outerwear and putting it inside until she was just wearing her swimwear. Then she adjusted the size of her boobs until they were just barely being contained within her swimwear.


"So, officer Jeremiah, what do you think of the city so far?" Chaos asked in a seductive way.


"Well i...?!" Jeremiah began as he looked back and saw Chaos, but then stopped in a stupor as he could only look at her now gigantic boobs that were threatening to burst out of her bra.


"Well? See anything you like sir?" Chaos said, knowing Jeremiah was caught in the net she laid out for him. Jeremiah however quickly turned his head forward as he too began blushing like Chaos was. Then Grayfur started laughing and said...


"Hey Chaos, Jeremiah just got here for crying out loud, don't go hitting on him right off the bat ya hear?." Chaos looked down at her now massive boobs only a little disappointed as she started chuckling and said...


"Sorry Grayfur. I just figured since he's going to be stuck in the city for a while well...you know." Chaos said as she laid both of her hands over her lap, already knowing what she was going to do once she got back home. And sure enough, Grayfur had just pulled up to Chaos's house.


"Well you have yourself a wonderful day Chaos." Grayfur said as Chaos opened the door and stepped out of the car.


"You too Grayfur, and i hope i get to see you soon too handsome." Chaos said as she caught Jeremiah glancing over in her direction, no doubt stealing another peek in Chaos's mind. Then she closed the door and watched them pull away from her home, as well as her view.


"Right, now to go take care of these urges." Chaos thought to herself as she stepped inside her home, locked all the doors and windows, and headed on up to her bedroom as she locked that door as well.
"Are women around here always like that?" Jeremiah asked, nervously. "She was, um, doing something to affect me."

"I could tell," Frank chuckled. "And to answer your question, yes. Some of the women around here are exactly like that, and in some species, it's part of how they feed."

"What do you mean?" Jeremiah asked.

"Let me put it to you this way," said Frank. "If I stop at a corner, or pull into an alleyway, and an attractive woman happens to be there, and she says she needs my help, and it's not because her child is missing, or her purse has been stolen, or anything like that, but instead talks about being hungry, and needing to feed, if I tell you to lock the doors and stay inside, I mean it."

"Why?"

"It could prove fatal to you."

"Okay." Then, Jeremiah asked, "Is this place a prison?"

Frank drove in silence for a while. Then he said, "For some of those who reside here, yes."

"Why?"

Frank was silent once again. Then he looked at Jeremiah. "Because of what they did, or the danger they pose to the Outside world."

"What do you mean?" Jeremiah asked.

Frank looked forward. "Computer, on."

"Computer on," said an electronic female-sounding voice. "Would you like Auto-Pilot on?"

"Computer. Look up Individual 159360."

"Individual 159360." An image of a mouse creature showed up. "Name: Beulah Mousekawittz. Occupation: Chief of Research/Occasional Mercenary. Criminal Information: Suspect in twenty murders that were done using methods utilized by ninjas. Evidence gathered indicated that perpetrator was female, a mouse mutant, and highly skilled. Individual captured during the commission of another murder, which was identical to previous murders. Would you like a copy printed out?"

"Computer, Standby."

"Standing By."

Frank looked at Jeremiah. "She's a trained assassin. Multiple murders. If she was human, she'd be facing life in prison, if not the death penalty. Here, it's like being on parole - as long as she stays within the city, or on the Base, she's fine. But, if she leaves without permission, she's at risk of getting shot." Frank then looked forward. "Thing is, I suspect that she has a kid."

"Why do you say that?"

"I've watched her, plotting, planning, watching the changes of the guard, everything," said Frank. "Most would have made the attempt by now - the fact that she hasn't tells me that she wants to live, and seeing her child would be a good reason to not get herself killed."

"What are you doing about it?" Jeremiah asked.

"We have agents looking for the kid, even as we speak."

Jeremiah chuckled. "That shouldn't be too hard. I mean, the kid's a mouse. The big ears and tail would stick out."

Frank chuckled. "You'd think that, but creatures like us have learned to blend in with society, and we live in places most others don't frequent."

"What do you mean?" Jeremiah asked.

"You'll be allowed to visit your family during the holidays, with an escort of course, probably me," said Frank. "Eventually, you'll go for a walk. When you do, take a good look at the homeless huddled around a burning trash fire, you'll find us there. Look in Condemned buildings, and you'll find us there. Look down the sections of abandoned subway tunnels, and you'll find us there. We live on the refuse that gets tossed out in the garbage. If there isn't any garbage around, we sneak into places, and we steal, just enough to survive though. Clothing is stolen from Second-hand places, food from stalls, places where things won't be missed."

Jeremiah frowned. "How does one survive like that?"

"It isn't easy," Frank sighed. "But sometimes, if you're smart, you can get a cash-paying job. My father lived in Boston near the wharves, and with enough clothes on, he could pass for a big burly man, the kind you'd want to discourage thieves from stealing your goods. He made enough for us to live good, especially since my mother was able to do the shopping with very little trouble."

"What do you mean?"

"Because she was human."

Jeremiah looked at Frank. "How did that happen?"

"Let's just say that there was this fella that liked to kill working girls," said Frank. "And let's just say that this fella try to kill this one woman. And let's just say that this big burly fella found him attempting to slit this woman's throat. And let's just as that this big fella grabbed him with one hand, and snapped his neck with the other. And let's just say that this big fella took the woman to a place where he lived, and let's say he took care of her, and let's say they fell in love, and let's say that one thing led to another, and let's say that some time later, I was born."

Jeremiah blinked. "Your father killed a man to protect a woman he didn't even know, and this woman eventually became your mother?"

Frank smiled. "It's the truth as far as I know. My father was the kind that would help anyone out, especially if they were in trouble. If even half of the stories he told me were true, he helped escaped slaves get to Canada, fought in the Civil War in a special unit alongside others like him, freeing more slaves, and he even fought in the Great War itself."

"The Great War?"

"World War One."

"How's that even possible?" Jeremiah asked. "I mean, this place was set up during World War 2, so, how could he have served? In fact, how could the military, or anyone, not know of your existence before then?"

"Because we had made our own military long before we joined the US, as it were," said Frank. "However, most of us aren't aggressive, so, when we were discovered, we'd move, as quickly, and quietly, as possible, as we didn't want groups of Hunters after us."

"Hunters?"

"Those who actively hunt down the likes of us, in an attempt to exterminate our races," said Frank. The Werewolf looked forward. "You worked on a case involving a woman that had been brutally murdered, about five years back - decapitated, dismembered, and disemboweled, remember?"

Jeremiah shuddered. "First case. Can't forget it. I was a rookie. The woman was a scientist of some sort. Some Fed was assigned to the case with us. Kept us away from the body though. Then, he had it, and everything about it, incinerated in a crematorium." Jeremiah sighed. "Then, he told us to butt out, and to not pursue the case any further." Then Jeremiah chuckled. "I punched that bastard in the nose when he got in my face about my continued interference. I even managed to locate the guy that did the deed, but I didn't have the evidence to bring him in. The next day, we found him in an alley; decapitated, dismembered, and disemboweled."

"The man deserved it," Frank muttered.

However, Jeremiah hadn't heard this. "The funny thing is, the Fed looked a hell of a lot like you did when I saw you in that human form of yours that your watch produced back at the base, except for the suit and the shades he always wore, even at night. I mean, what kind of idiot does that?"

Frank opened the glovebox. "Did they look like these ones?"

Jeremiah took a look, and then looked at Frank. "It was you?"

"Funny thing about the watch," said Frank. "It can't change what your eyes look like. Your size, shape, and species, yes, but not your eyes." He then put one on, and looked at Jeremiah. "I'll say this, you throw a mean right hook." Then he laughed, and looked forward again.

"So, just who was this guy, and this woman?"

Frank frowned. "The woman was my daughter-in-law. As for the guy, son of an Ambassador, meaning Diplomatic Immunity was at work - you couldn't bring him in anyways. As for who killed him, that was me." Frank sighed. "Problem was, it wasn't an official mission. I was demoted, and restricted to the City and Base for four years, and I can't leave without permission for another twenty."

"So, you're stuck here?"

Frank nodded.

"Tell me, did you ever find out why that guy killed your daughter-in-law?"

"He tried to get her to turn on the US for a boatload of money, she wouldn't have that though. He found her with my son, kissing him in his true form. He figure that she was a monster to, and killed her like she was one," said Frank. "Thing was, she was human. Didn't matter to me though - I was in the city visiting. You know the rest - bullied my way onto the case, destroyed the evidence, especially the evidence that was inside her body - she was pregnant with my grandson, that was the reason for the disembowelment - located him, and did unto him what he did to her." He then looked at Jeremiah. "And before you ask, I sleep soundly at nights."
Atomica meanwhile consoled Beulah by buying her a Cheeseburger at Gothic Diner

"Eat up, I know it's your favorite." The Ant said

Beulah slowly ate, her mind was somewhere else
Atomica wished his mind was somewhere else, but he was so self-conscious that all he could think about was the room around him and the people in it. Fortunately, the diner was almost empty. There was a couple talking to each other. And there was a woman with a kid. But the person that bothered him the most was an old man who sat alone and mumbled something over and over while he ate.

Atomica could not decipher what the old man was saying. It sounded like, "Barrels of ants wash my pants," but Atomica knew that couldn't possibly be right.

He got the attention of the waitress and asked for another slice of apple pie.
Tania bounded in, seeming incongruously alive now that the sun was down. She had shed her mock-burqua for a corset and jeans, taking advantage of the fact that she wasn't using her lungs for anything at this point. She brushed past the 'wait to be Seated' sign without so much as glance, outsize canid glinting on her face.

"Hey, you two. Mind if join you?" She asked the colossal ant, hunched into a booth that seemed clearly intended for smaller patrons. Next to him, Beulah appeared thoroughly engrossed by some empty space, looking tinier than usual in the confined space.

"Go ahead," Said Atomica, antenna twitching. Now the man in the corner was saying something about how quarrels and rants joshed his cants.

"Thanks," The vamp took a seat happily. "Some day, eh? Let's hope those two learn to get along soon, before the city gets destroyed completely." Atomica shrugged nonconcomitantly. Beulah just kept on staring, idly nibbling on her cheeseburger once in a while.

Tania was used to Atomica's occasional odd moods -he seemed to pick up on all kinds of things no one else appreciated- but with Beulah, something was definitely up. She was nibbling on a cheeseburger. Nibbling on a cheeseburger! One of the only times Tania had seen the tough mutant come even close to smiling was when she had entered into a contest for eating cheeseburgers, which she easily had won against opponents the size of Atomica. Normally, she inhaled the food like others did oxygen, and with just as much urgency. 'Nibbling', 'cheesburger', and 'Beulah' had no business being in the same sentence together.

"I really don't know why you like cheeseburgers so much, Beu," Said Tania casually. "I hear they'e actually really sugary, and that felines can't even taste anything like sweetness."

"I'm not a cat," Mumbled Beulah.

"Say what?"

"I'm not a cat. I'm a mouse."

"Really?" Said Tania, ruby eyes wide. "Well, then... Wait, how long have you been a mouse?"

"Since I was born." The alleged mouse in question still looked like she was on auto-pilot, staring off at an angle. Curious. But the revelation of Beulah's rodent heritage aside, Tania was determined to figure out what was up. It never occurred to the vampire to simply ask.

" 'When you were born'? When was that? You know, Beu, it strikes me I know you've been here a while, but I don't even know how old you are."

"It was a while back." She took a large bite our of her burger and began chewing very slowly.

"Beulah's been thinking of the outside..." Said Atomica cautiously, watching his companion to judge if he was treading to close to the secret at hand. "...I guess she wants some fresh air or something."

"Actually, I've been wondering about getting out for a while, too." Said Tania, glancing around the almost empty diner. No one but an old man who's morals and rants cashed in ants, apparently. "I've always wanted to go somewhere tropical. But Frank'll put a bullet in you if you go for the fence. And even if someone, hypothetically, did make it, outside's only the bolshaya zona. Every good little zek knows getting out isn't worth the risk." Her canids flashed again in a cheeky smile. "...Right?"
A Non-Existent User
Sighing, Amanda finally made it back to her apartment that she shared with Henry, the human had just gotten off of work and got to the apartment sooner than her. The kitsune grinned, hopping onto the couch next to her human mate, “So tourist season starts tomorrow…” Henry nodded, “Yeah, I’m barely going to see you for a while.” Amanda shrugged, “Yeah, it’s a good thing my kind technically don’t ‘require’ sleep.” She pulled the human closer to her and kissed him on the forehead, “Just don’t end up in someone’s stomach or I might just have to do something I may regret… cause trust me… NO ONE eats my little human.”

Since they became engaged Amanda had created a telekinetic bond with Henry where they could both share each other’s thoughts and at times she could even see, hear, smell, feel and taste what he does. It had helped her protect Henry on multiple occasions, especially last 4th of July when he was almost robbed and then mauled by a group of drunken werewolves. The kitsune’s ears perked up a bit, “And from what I can tell… you almost cracked your little enigma in the lab today.” Henry grinned and chuckled, “Yeah, I’m so close. If you didn’t act like a big dummy and practically hump my face in the lab this past week maybe I could invite you in to help me.”

Amanda giggled, “Sorry… you know I get a little horny and immature when I’m in heat… it’s starting to fade though.” Later into the night Henry was fast asleep in Amanda’s arms as she sighed and started sniffing the air, she could sense the scent of aliens. She’s arrested more than enough of them in her time to know their definitive scent, the kitsune groaned, “Well, looks like I’ll be smelling booze and alien vomit in no time. For such advanced species you would think they could hold their liquor or at least be smart enough to not touch the stuff in the first place.”
"*Pant* *pant* *pant* Third time is definitely the charm." Chaos said as she tried to catch her breath after her third session in the land of make believe with herself and Officer Jeremiah. After she did, she decided to get up and look at the mess she made.


"Eww. I'm all sweaty and sticky now. And so is my bed too. I'm gonna need to clean everything up before i go to bed tonight." And so Chaos pulled everything off her bed and brought it to the wash room for a good cleaning. And while her bedding was washing, she herself would wash the stink and stickiness off of herself in the shower.


"Ah, the water feels so nice." Chaos said as she washed her body and hair clean of all the stuff and stink that wasn't supposed to be where it was. It was a good fifteen minute shower before Chaos got out and went to make herself something good to eat.


About a half hour later



"*Nom* *nom* *nom* Ah, best triple strawberry milkshake ever. And way to top off tonight's meal with an X-large banana split, covered with hot fudge, caramel, and marshmallow toppings, and rainbow sprinkles as well." Chaos said as she enjoyed eating her...sugary and fat filled snack. The good news for Chaos was that since she was a shape shifter, she never needs to worry about getting fat or anything of the sort. Since she can just adjust her body to just about whatever she wants.


After finishing her...meal, Chaos decided to collect her wash and put it back on her bed.


"*Whew* Now that that's done and over with, i guess I'll go to bed now. It's getting pretty late anyway." Chaos said as she looked at the clock on her windowsill displaying the time 11:45 PM. It was almost midnight, and she needed to get some rest after all the energy she burned from today. So she covered up nice and warm under the covers on her waterbed and went off to la-la land.
Jeremiah yawned, as Frank made a stop in the middle of the city, in a park - not Roundabout Park, but one he hadn't caught the name of, due to how tired he was. "What are we doing here?"

"Turning on the Translator," said Frank.

"Translator?"

"Makes things easier on everyone," said Frank. "Martains and Venitians know Earth languages, due to tagging our satellites and bootlegging Earth Movies and Television shows, but they can't speak them - different vocal structure you understand. As for us, their speech can be painful on the ears for some, mute to others, and Humans have other issues - the way many aliens talk trigger the Fight/Flight/Frozen response. So, the aliens, along with some of the local brilliant minds on the base, came up with translator device. Makes things useful on a crowd level, but not on a personal level, or outside of the park."

Jeremiah yawned again. "Then how do we talk to them outside of the park?"

"Have you heard those stories about aliens anal probing the people they abduct?"

"Who hasn't? Just stories, right?"

"Actually, there's some truth to them," said Frank. "It's how they put Micro-Translators inside the Abductees."

Jeremiah groaned. "Tell me Doc's not going to put something else up my ass!"

"Taken care of with the Medical Chip."

"So, what's the story behind the abductions?"

"Science Class," said Frank. "Fifth Grade project - Human Studies. Find a random human, transport him to ship, insert chip in ass, explain situation, and conduct studies."

"What kind of studies?"

"Blood, tissue, mental acuity, physicality, and anything you could think of," said Frank.

"Dissections?"

"Only on the Recently Departed," said Frank. "It's one of the rules we have on the Treaty, as signed by Truman, and recently reaffirmed by Obama."

"The President knows?" Jeremiah asked.

"That was the second thing he did after taking the Oath of Office," said Frank. "The First was a tour of this place."

Jeremiah groaned. "So, what happens to the Abductees after the studies are done?"

"They are given a pill that turns into alcohol upon contact with stomach acids," said Frank. "Usually helps when the person has a reputation for drinking too much."

"So, what about the chips?"

"Dissolved in a week," said Frank. "Any leftovers take the Southern Exit out of the body."

Jeremiah cringed. "Don't need to know that."

Soon enough, Frank was busy with the Translator. "Let's see here - Ice-cream-cone-on-fire symbol, Mountain-with-lightning-bolt thingy, guy-with-frog-in-throat thing, skull-and-crossbones."

"Is that the password to turn it on?"

"Actually, that's the security panel code," said Frank. "Turning it on is simple - just flip the switch. The Security thing just says that someone tampered with the machine."

"So, aside from those Restricted to City and Base, can people leave this place?" asked Jeremiah.

"It's not a Prison, so yes!" said Frank. "This place is more of a Sanctuary than anything. It's one of the few places where creatures like us can openly walk as we really are, and not have to stay in hiding, or in disguise. Of course, one does have to leave word with the Travel Agency."

"Okay." Then, Jeremiah had another question. "What is a Mixer Party?"

Frank chuckled. "Let's say that you and your girlfriend, or wife, are having trouble during sex - like say your climaxes are off in timing, like ten seconds or so - and you think that you're not meant for the other because of it. Friend tells you to go to a Mixer - you find out when, and where, one is being held, go to the place, slip the guy at the door a twenty, go in, and pick a number to represent you. When your number gets called, you can have sex with the other person who has their number called, behind closed doors of course."

"What if you don't want to have sex with the person?"

"You put a five dollar bill in the jar, as a cancellation fee," said Frank. "Thing is, if you don't have money, either you have sex with the person, or you leave the place."

"Okay, let's say you have sex with a few people," said Jeremiah. "What does that do with improving your relationship with your girlfriend?"

"Let's just say that you find out that those other women weren't like her, in that they don't turn you on like she does, and your timing is way off, among other things," said Frank. "Makes you appreciate her more, as your timing was close, and it was good for both of you. You'll want her more, and she'll want you more, than anyone at the party. Well, that's the way it is with most."

Jeremiah chuckled nervously. "I guess that makes sense."

"Of course, it's also a great way to learn new tricks that you can try with your lover to enhance your experience," said Frank. The werewolf pressed a few more buttons on the Translator, and flipped the switch. "There we go. Translator's working. Time to sign off for the day, and go home."

"Where do I stay?"

"I'd suggest my place," said Frank. "You can stay there until your place is ready, as I have a few spare rooms, and you won't have to pay rent."

"I guess that's good," said Jeremiah.

"Of course, you won't be my only guest," said Frank. "Most everyone rents out the spare bedrooms during the Tourist Season."

"Sounds like fun."

"And here's a tip - don't buy anything from the souvenir stands, not even food," said Frank. "The price is like 4 times what it should be."

"How's that different from any other place during Tourist Season?"

Frank looked at Jeremiah. Then, he burst out laughing. "Now you're learning! Not much difference!" Then, he sighed. "Come on. Let's get going."
Beulah dropped the half-eaten cheeseburger onto the plate. "It might be worth the risk to me."

"She's kidding," Atomica said.

Tania didn't say anything, just looked thoughtfully at Beulah.
"Hey, Beu," Said Tania at last, toying with the silverware. "If, hypothetically, someone knew a guy in perimeter security detail, and could, hypothetically, get him to look the wrong way at the right time as some other people -like, hypothetically, a vampire and a mutant- made a runner, would you, hypothetically, be willing to go on a prolonged leave of absence?"

"That was the single worst round-about proposal I have ever heard," Noted Atomica. Tania gave him a mock glare.

"Look, Beu, if you want to leave, why not just leave?" Asked the vamp suddenly, without acknowledging the colossal mutant. "I'm grounded -they know the only way I can live is by sucking people dry, so a girl like me is staying here indefinitely. But what about you? You're only a cat- er, a mouse. Only a mouse. Put on an overcoat, and you could get out there and see the world. Well, maybe Airport Security would be awkward, but still..." She shrugged. "What I'm saying is, I don't know why you're still here. You're smart and you're tough- you've got nothing to worry about from the Hunters. Why not leave?"

"Did I never tell you?" Asked the mutant sombrely, after a long pause. "I was a hit-girl before I came here. I must've offed a score of important people, before I got caught. And my mate and child -who I left behind- must think I'm dead. Now, if I do get out, it's open season on me. In here, I've got nothing to worry about but day-to-day living. Out there, well, there are quite a lot of people who'd pay quite a lot to see my cadaver. And not only for me- after all, people think I'm dead. If the Underworld heard I was active again, they'd go after my family, too. I think that they're safer this way."

"Oh." Said Tania. "Well, if you were quiet, you could slip out, find your family, let them know you're okay, and come back without having to kill anyone." She grinned. "Come on! It'll be fun. The Mafia or whoever will never catch on, and we can come back before either Area 51 Security or the Hunters find out about us."

"Darn," Said Atomica. Beu seemed to be thinking. "I didn't realize that you wanted out so bad yourself. I thought you liked it here."

"The cafe was boring, anyway. It's not the same as the Concentration Camp I worked at last time. I could use a vacation."
Terrance visited his father at the retirement home just on the edge of the city. "Hello Dad." the aging old man says "Son, what a pleasant surprise, I thought you were to busy to pay your old man a visit, so what brings you here?" Terrance says "When you bought me here from Crete when I was a calf, is there a reason why you adopted me?"
Old man's point of view



"Those three are still completely obvious to my eavesdropping and recording of their conversation. They just keep on smiling and laughing the whole way through to themselves thinking it'd be a piece of cake sneaking past security. Though to be fair, their idea sounds like it just might work if they pull it off right." Thought the Old Man as he stopped the recorder he was using and slipped it into his pocket before getting up, still mumbling to himself about ants and such as he made his way to the front door.


"That said however, there's no way I'm going to let this juicy bit of information go unheard. Especially since i still owe a debt to a certain detective in MC for helping me out when i was in that bind with the hippo lady. With this new info, and the recording as proof, all i have to do is turn it over to her and let her take care of the rest." The Old Man continued thinking to himself as he made his way outside and began his trek to Chaos's house.
Morning, 6:30 AM, Local Time

Jeremiah awoke to a hurricane of noise.

"Daddy! Timmy stole my T. Rex toy!"

"Timmy! Give Tommy back his toy!"

"But I was playing with it! He wasn't!"

"Is Rebecca up yet?"

"Not yet dad."

"Then tell her to get up! Open up her door and pull the sheets off of her if you have to!"

"Honey - relax. Here's your coffee, bacon, ham, sausage, steak, and two eggs."

"Thanks dear."

"Do you want me to wake that cute human you brought in with you last night?"

"If he isn't up by now with the racket we're making, I don't know what will."

"Daddy! Samantha pulled the sheets off of me!"

"Then next time get up when I pound on your door! You're going to be late for school!"

Jeremiah chuckled as he heard this. It sort of reminded him of when he was a kid, with two brothers, and a sister. He groaned as he got out of bed, his body aching from yesterday's events. One thorough physical, plus that jump before hand, to say nothing about wearing that suit during a firestorm of sorts, and then staying up until after midnight - felt like he pulled double, if not a triple, shift. He then picked up his clothes from yesterday, and shook his head. All he had was the stuff he brought on vacation, and aside from this outfit, that was at the Base. He was going to need more to live in town.

A while later, to say nothing of more yelling, during which he'd caught the voices of at least four women, if not a few more, and two dozen, or more, boys and girls, all yelling about one thing or another - hair, clothes, toys, the type of food being served, someone hitting them, and everything else - Jeremiah had found the dining room, after getting lost once or twice, due to the size of the place, and running into one horde of children, or another - some looked like wolves, others looked like rabbits, others looked like foxes, some like demons, to say nothing about most looking like a combination of wolves mixed with rabbits, foxes, or demons, although there was a few that looked human.

"About time you got here," said Frank. The werewolf was drinking a cup of coffee, and reading the paper.

"You have a big house," said Jeremiah. "Got lost."

Frank chuckled. "I know that feeling. Happens when you sleep over at someone else's, and you're not used to the place, and you don't have the important rooms mapped in your head; bedroom, kitchen, and, most importantly, bathroom."

"Um, that reminds me-"

"Two rights and a left."

"Good to know, but that's not the issue."

Frank took a look at him. "Yesterday's clothes. I'll call the Base, and let them know to bring your stuff to the Station, and you can change into something fresher, and take a shower."

"What about the rest of my stuff, in New York City?"

"In the process of being taken care of," said Frank. "The moment you shook my hand, agents in the city started working on filing the paperwork, and moving your things out here - should be taken care of within three days."

"But, won't I be needed to sign the forms?" Jeremiah asked.

"Nope - that's being taken care of as well."

"How?"

"We have some very excellent forgers," said Frank. "Even you would think that you had signed the documents."

"And the cost of shipping and transportation?"

"Eaten up by the Black Budget that the military has," said Frank. "I will say this, your house is now ours."

"What do you mean?" Jeremiah asked.

"It will be used by agents staying in the city, and as a Safe House for monsters looking for a place to stay when their shelters are compromised, and need to be transferred to another location."

"Do I have any say in this?"

"Do you want to have the place renovated? The Military will eat up the costs for renovation, repair, maintenance, upkeep, and bills, as part of the cover, and will continue to do so, even after your discharge, and you get to move back in, but the place will still be a Safe House/Way Point for Agents and Monsters."

"So, I don't have any say in that matter?"

"None. Consider our paying your bills, and such, as your compensation."

Jeremiah sighed, as he walked up to the counter, and began to help himself to the food. Then, a question came to his mind. "How do these Agents on the Outside dress?"

Frank grinned. "Black dress shoes, black slacks, white dress shirt, black suit, black tie, and black sunglasses, like the MiB in the Men in Black series, or the Agents in The Matrix series. Makes us look professional. We also have those watches, which are standard issue - useful for disguises, or to give yourself some extra weaponry when you find yourself without any weapons."

"What do you mean?"

"Turns you into a werewolf, or some other such creature, like that watch thingy everyone wants in that one cartoon, um, Ben 10 I think it is."

"So, how long does the disguise last?"

"Up to twenty-four hours, currently," said Frank. "After that though, you'd best find a stall in the bathroom, and wait ten minutes for the thing to recharge. Of course, smart Agents take the thing off when it's not needed, so that power isn't used."

"What if someone was to pick up the watch, and try it on?"

"It's a very fancy, and accurate, timepiece, and that's all it would be for them," said Frank. "Everything else requires the user to have a certain chip that's-"

"Already inserted in my ass, I hope."

Frank chuckled. "You're catching on." The werewolf finished his coffee. "Well, you'd better hurry up. "I want to be at the station by eight - you still need to have that phone call to make to your father. Now tell me - what are you to tell him?"

Jeremiah sighed. "I made a wrong turn. My car broke an axle. The guys at the base agreed to let me stay until the got it fixed. I accidentally saw some Classified Information. I was given the choice of 20 years in a Federal prison for espionage, or five years service here as a guard. I took the five years as a guard."

Frank smiled. "And that's basically the truth of the matter. A guard is, basically, what you are - you're to keep those who shouldn't leave from leaving, but you're also supposed to help them out as well."

"What do you mean?" Jeremiah asked.

"As I mentioned, I'm not allowed to leave the City/Base without authorization, due to what I did, but I've got family outside the City I like to keep in touch with. I can't do it in person, and some of them don't have access to phones or computers," said Frank. "Luckily, we have a system set up - message is sent, via snail mail, to a Safe House/Way Point. Agents take the letter, which was seal inside of another letter, with instructions on where to take the letter, and they see to it that the letter is delivered to the right person. Likewise, monsters on the Outside will use these places to send their mail to others."

"So, aside from mail delivery, just what do Agents on the Outside do?" Jeremiah asked.

"If a case involves monsters or aliens, or someone connected to Area 51, or other such places, either as a victim, or a perpetrator, they are under orders to take over the case from the local police, just like I did in that case five years back, and investigate them."

"What if you catch the person who did the crime, like in that case five years ago."

"We follow the law, or at least we are supposed to. They are to be tried in a court of Law, sentenced by a Judge, and then Punished accordingly."

"What about in that case?"

"Normally - same as any other murder - life in prison, or some such thing."

"But, in that case?"

"Diplomats are a pain - you can't give them a parking ticket, let alone have them, or family members, arrested for murder, especially without proof that would stand up in court." Frank sighed at this. "There was another matter at stake too - Family Honor. My Son had vowed to hunt down and kill the man who had killed his wife - I couldn't allow him to do that, so I did it."

"Why?"

"To save his life. You see, you can't just kill someone without being punished, especially in our society, unless permission has been given. The only reason you and me are having this conversation is because of my service record, and all that I've done for this community. If I didn't have that-" Frank tapped his forehead. "Silver bullet, right here. My son didn't have my record, and would have been put down by any Agent that caught him, even me. I sacrificed my Freedom for him."

"What about that mouse woman?" Jeremiah asked.

"She wasn't raised by one of us, or someone who follows our laws, so we gave her a choice - death and dissection, or life in the City," said Frank. "It was her choice. She picked to live."

"Could she ever be allowed to leave?" Jeremiah asked.

"Depends on the situation, like if the ninja that raised her decided to take up killing again," said Frank. "We've been known to cut similar deals - help us out, and you'll be given time Outside the City as a reward. Sometimes they take it, sometimes they don't." The werewolf finished his breakfast. "Now, hurry up. Today will be busy enough as it is, without helping you to settle in."
Beulah wake up she had been dreaming about that new Human
Atomica's worst dreams were nightmares involving giant ants, burning cities, lots of people running in terror, screaming their heads off. The ants are coming! The ants are coming!

And yet Atomica awake had no interest in terrorizing anybody, no daydreams of invasion and destruction. Just a desire for a quiet uninterrupted life.


The old man with the tape recorder in his pocket paused at the door of Chaos' house. Was the shifter in a good mood? It wouldn't do to surprise her at the wrong time. Maybe he should call first.
Tania, meanwhile, was at a seedy, unlicensed club in the District. The vampire hadn't had to wait in line at such a genteel establishment in ages, something that had been handy in the extreme for digging up dirt in the past. Tonight, though, it was quiet -metaphorically; in actuality, she couldn't hear herself think with the music loud as it was- the buzzes of sneaky conversation not hinting at anything untoward. And yet, even as she channeled a considerably amount of energy into an otherwise highly successful pursuit of a good time, however, something gnawed at the vampire.

That crazy old guy in the diner. She would've taken it for granted that he was dangerous -around here, everyone was dangerous- but she wouldn't have tried to pay much over attention to him without a hint or a tip-off. But there was something in the way he moved, regarded them briefly, and swept out- something familiar. He did everything like some of her old coworkers would have. Simply put, the man had looked like a Chekist.

Ah, she was probably only being suspicious and paranoid. Suspiciously paranoid.
(Okay, I did say that it was morning - but I'll let Tania's section play out as events that occurred while she was awake during the night. *Smile*)

Soon enough, Jeremiah was at the Station, in the locker room, where he had to deal with the fact that Frank was going through his clothes. "Those are my personal things! What right do you have to go through them?"

"Your safety." Frank pulled out a pair of Hawaiian-style boxers. "Wow! Never knew underwear came in this pattern!" He then held it up for the others. "Who wants this for five dollars!?"

"That would clash with my polished legs," said a walking suit of armor. "I'd never attract the ladies in that!"

"When was the last time you ever had a lady, Reginald?" asked a man-thing made of stone. "Oh right - just before you was rude to that witch who cursed you into that suit of armor!"

This caused most everyone to chuckle, though there was a hyena-like creature that burst out in laughter.

The suit of armor looked at Jeremiah. "I hope you have better luck with women than me!" The metal creature then walked away, muttering to itself.

"What's his issue?" Jeremiah asked, as he waited for Frank to return his underwear.

"Used to be a nobleman, who had a tendency to sleep with every woman her could, that is until sometime at a Medieval-style party in the 1890's, when, while wearing that suit of armor, he pulled a nasty trick on an old woman," said Frank. "Problem was, said woman was a witch, and cursed his soul to inhabit the last thing he wore - the suit of armor - meaning he's unable to sleep with another woman, ever again." The werewolf returned Jeremiah the boxers.

"So, what's with searching through my clothes?" the human asked.

"Let me put it this way - you're not going to be wearing those," said Frank.

"I came here for vacation, not business," said Jeremiah. "I packed for warm weather fun, not military base work."

"I know that feeling," said Frank. "You're someplace on vacation, and all of a sudden, you're assigned to a case, just because you happen to be the agent nearest to the area."

"Does that happen?" Jeremiah asked.

"More than you think," said Frank. "And more than I like." He the looked at Jeremiah. "That being said, you're not going to be wearing these clothes, or those coming from your home."

"What for?" Jeremiah asked.

"For your safety," said Frank. "These clothes are nylon and polyester based, or cotton, or wool. That's not good here."

"So, what is good here?" Jeremiah asked.

"Let's just say that the clothing around here is made from a similar fabric as the one used for our uniforms," said Frank. "Keeps you comfortable in extreme heat, and extreme cold, and I don't mean the temperature changes that the normal environment has around here - I'm talking liquid nitrogen cold, and surface of the sun hot."

"Does that actually happen?" Jeremiah asked.

Frank thought for a moment. "Not that I recall, but every so often a child fire demon, or an ice fiend, throws a hissy fit, and then things get very warm, or very cold. Also, the fabric is tear resistant - useful in certain situations."

"I'm not going to ask about that," said Jeremiah. "I know enough about living in cities to know about the possible kinds of trouble."

"Good answer," Frank said, as he pulled out a pair of slacks, a white dress shirt, a suit, dress shoes, a tie, and a pair of sunglasses, from his locker. "Just multiply it by four or ten times."

"What's with the getup?" Jeremiah asked.

"We'll be having a teleconference with your father," said Frank.

"But what about-"

Frank picked up his watch. "I'm sure that he'll remember a certain Fed that took over his boy's first case." The werewolf grinned.

"What about me?"

"Aside from the sunglasses, the same thing," said Frank, with a sigh. "It's the least you can do for him, to show some emotion, about how sad you are that you can't follow exactly in his footsteps. Reason is, the next time you see him, and if it's because we're on a case, you're to have those sunglasses on, and you'll need to keep your emotions in check, especially when you take the case over."
Beulah had a throbbing headache, she turned on the cold water in the sink and held her head under it for several minuites
Atomica sat in the back yard, drinking a gallon of gin. She was tired of being ignored all day. Sure, Beulah had one of her "headaches". Atomica could understand that. Mice get headaches. But Atomica was bored out of her mind.

She finished off the gin. "Now to terrorize a city!" she yelled, and her mighty voice made the fence vibrate just before she crashed through it and took to the streets.

The satisfying screams began around her almost immediately. "Giant ant! Giant ant!" People scattered.

Atomica made the high-pitched shrilling noise she had learned from an old B&W sci fi movie. It was much more effective than her normal sounds, which were like modified squeaks and creaks. Her normal "roar" sounded like a rusty spring. But this learned shrill was mind-blowing. It was like a psychopathic cricket on steroids.

It wasn't long before she heard the sound of a siren. "Damn police!" she muttered. Maybe this would be the day that she died in a hail of gunfire from police, army men, and even a few tanks hastily brought in to "kill the giant ant".
But bullets did nothing against the titanic arthropod! Armed citizens, police, soldiers- all could only watch, rooted to the spot with horror as the monster bore on and tore them to pieces, one after another. Cars crashed and burned, skyways and overhead metros crumbled to the pavement in avalanches of twisting bodies and crumbling rubble, people trampling one another foot to escape this terrible, monstrous giant that prowled through their midst.

Atomica roared at the puny weapons snicking off her gorgeous skeleton, relishing the fear in the soldiers' eyes as she rent them in her mandible, ripping open tanks like so many tin cans. Helicopters descended, gatling guns and rockets blazing- and were summarily thrown to the street, laying in their own ruins like crushed moths. Onwards Atomica thundered, unstoppable, a primal force of nature, shrugging off rockets and artillery. Behind, a trail of doom and testament to the apocalypse as certain as any meteorite strike.

The giant ant's path lead on through streets clogged with wreckage and terrified crowds, her heralds, eventually leading to the gates of City Hall. Onwards, Atomica climbed, legs punching into the sides of the building as she scaled it to the roof. Glass rippled like pond water where she tread, eventually rearing up at the apex of the once proud building. And, as a nuke descended in the distance and the teeming city vanished in a boiling shockwave, Atomica roared her triumph to the vaporized air -and woke back up.
At the medical center, Terrance was busy with a patient. A troll with shiner when he heard the commotion, "For gods sake, what is that racket? I can't work with all that noise." Margaret came in "It's Atomica, she's on a rampage." Terrance sighed "She's been drinking again. Okay Margaret as soon as I'm done with Kroll here, I'll get the sobering serum and help stop that ant before she destroys the city."
A Non-Existent User
Amanda woke up to the sounds of screams and loud booming noises, along with the entre apartment shaking. Groggily the fox creature rubbed her eyes, she sleepily shook Henry awake, “Honey wake up, that stupid ant is destroying the city again.” Henry retorted groggily, “You’ve gotta go don’t you?” The kitsune nodded sadly as she peaked the human on the cheek, “Have fun at work today I’ll see you later tonight if you’re still awake honey.” Amanda started hastily putting her police uniform on as she stumbled out the door and towards the giant ant. Amanda started using her magical powers once she was out in the open of the city street. She started growing until she was just as massive as the giant ant terrorizing the city. The kitsune approached the rampaging ant and growl, “Atomica, stop this right now… or you’re gonna get it.”
*Ring* *Ring* *Ring* Chaos woke up to the sound of her phone ringing.


"What time is it?" She wondered as she picked it up.


"Hello?"


"Chaos, let me in." Said a really old voice on the other end.


"Who is this?"


"Remember the hippo lady case?" Then Chaos started connecting the dots and realized who was on the other end.


"Oh right, i remember you now Old Man. Hold on one minute." Chaos said as she hung up the phone and went down to the front door and unlocked it, letting the Old Man enter.


"Sorry to bother you on such short notice, but i needed to..." The Old Man stopped in his tracks as both he and Chaos realized she was naked.


"Well well, looks like someone's been busy stuffing themselves in the 'upper regions'." The Old Man said as he and Chaos both looked at her breasts which were bigger than normal. Then Chaos remembered something.


"Oh right, i forgot i made them bigger." Chaos said as she remembered enhancing her bust in order to entice Officer Jeremiah. Now however she brought them back down to normal, and went off to find something to hide her feminine parts.


"So what brought you here Old Man? Hippo lady giving you more sass? Or is it something else?" Chaos said as she walked back in in her swimsuit, which was still revealing, but not as much as wearing her birthday suit would be.


"I have something for you to listen to." The Old Man said as he pulled a tape recorder out of his pocket and put it on the table and hit the play button.


"Hey, Beu, If, hypothetically, someone knew a guy in perimeter security detail, and could, hypothetically, get him to look the wrong way at the right time as some other people -like, hypothetically, a vampire and a mutant- made a runner, would you, hypothetically, be willing to go on a prolonged leave of absence?"


"That was the single worst round-about proposal I have ever heard,"


"Look, Beu, if you want to leave, why not just leave? I'm grounded -they know the only way I can live is by sucking people dry, so a girl like me is staying here indefinitely. But what about you? You're only a cat- er, a mouse. Only a mouse. Put on an overcoat, and you could get out there and see the world. Well, maybe Airport Security would be awkward, but still...What I'm saying is, I don't know why you're still here. You're smart and you're tough- you've got nothing to worry about from the Hunters. Why not leave?"


"Did I never tell you? I was a hit-girl before I came here. I must've offed a score of important people, before I got caught. And my mate and child -who I left behind- must think I'm dead. Now, if I do get out, it's open season on me. In here, I've got nothing to worry about but day-to-day living. Out there, well, there are quite a lot of people who'd pay quite a lot to see my cadaver. And not only for me- after all, people think I'm dead. If the Underworld heard I was active again, they'd go after my family, too. I think that they're safer this way."


"Oh. Well, if you were quiet, you could slip out, find your family, let them know you're okay, and come back without having to kill anyone. Come on! It'll be fun. The Mafia or whoever will never catch on, and we can come back before either Area 51 Security or the Hunters find out about us."


"Darn, I didn't realize that you wanted out so bad yourself. I thought you liked it here."


"The cafe was boring, anyway. It's not the same as the Concentration Camp I worked at last time. I could use a vacation." Then the recording reached it's end and stopped. Chaos was in shock. Not only because she knew the voices on the recording, but because she just heard them plotting to escape from the city, which is a very serous offense.


"How did you record this without them knowing?"


"Let's just say I've had plenty of practice." The Old Man said as he leaned back in the chair and grinned.


*Crash* *Boom* *Scream* Just then, Chaos and the Old Man heard a lot of racket outside and ran on out to see what was going on.


"It's Atomica! She's going on a rampage...again." Chaos said as she slumped over, wondering if the giant ant ever didn't go on a rampage when she started drinking.


"So what now? Shouldn't you try to stop her?" The Old Man said as he looked Chaos's way, Chaos looking back as she nodded before saying...


"Right, better give me some space Old Man." Chaos said as the Old Man backed off and watched as Chaos upped her anti (or rather, her height) until she was about 100 feet tall. Then she proceeded on over to the area where Atomica was, making sure not to cause any major damage to the city and it's people. And upon reaching the place where Atomica was, she also saw Amanda there as well, growing in height as she too stepped in to fight to stop Atomica.


"Hey girls! Start the party without me or what?" Chaos said as she entered the fray.
Jeremiah had just finished getting the suit on when he felt the vibrations, and fell to the ground. "What the hell was that?"

Frank had his ears to the ground. "Let me see - Atomica's drunk again - that giant ant can't hold her liquor - let's hope she doesn't destroy City Hall again."

Then, they felt some stronger vibrations.

"Amanda just joined in. She's not happy that her time with Henry has been cut short."

Then, the vibrations became even stronger.

"Now, Chaos has joined the party."

"How do you know this?" Jeremiah asked.

"Not the first time this sort of thing has happened," said Frank. "You can bet that someone is taking pictures of this and posting it on some fetish site - 'Ant Woman, Fox Woman, and Water Woman Brawl', or something, with certain alterations, of course." The werewolf stood up, and helped Jeremiah to his feet. "It will be over soon."

"How do you know?"

*Boom!* Suddenly, everything became quiet, and normal-like.

"That was Dr. Terrance with a tranquilizer and a sobering shot."

"How do you know that one?"

"Personal experience," said Frank. "And that's all I'll say on the matter."

Soon enough, the two were in the hall

"So, where are we going?" Jeremiah asked.

"To see the Chief first," said Frank. "He wants to have a word with you."

The werewolf opened the door, and the first thing Jeremiah saw was a massive black dragon, at a huge desk.

The human gulped. "That's the Chief?"

"Actually, that's Mavis, the Chief's secretary-slash-bodyguard-slash-lover," said Frank. "Nice lady, but don't anger her."

The dragon looked at them. "Morning, Frank."

"Morning, Mavis."

Jeremiah felt the dragon look right at him.

"He's not too bad on the eyes," the dragon chuckled. "Makes one wonder."

"Save it for a Mixer," said Frank. "The Chief sent for us."

"Oh, okay," said Mavis. "Just to let you know, he's in a good mood, all things considering."

"Makes things easier," said Frank.

The two walked up to a door, and opened it.

"Morning Chief," said Frank. "Here's the new Rookie."

"Ah, good to see you," said the Chief, with a very prominent Irish accent. "It's always nice to see new faces."

Jeremiah had to do a double take. The room the man was in was little bigger than an apartment's clothes closet, and he was in a space that was big enough to hold a TV. Then again, the man was a leprechaun, with red hair, a red mustache, a red beard, and he wore a green hat. The man was not even two feet tall, and yet he was the Chief of Police, giving orders to those four times his height, or more.

Jeremiah gave Frank a look that said, "He's in charge?"

Frank gave him a grin that said, "You can bet your ass on it!"

Jeremiah looked back at the Chief, and noticed the nameplate, Patrick O'Finnly. "Um, hello?"

Chief O'Finnly looked at Frank with a smile. "First time he's seen a leprechaun, and all he can do is say, 'Um, hello?'" The leprechaun chuckled, as did Frank, and, more surprisingly, so did Mavis.

"Better than him trying to grab you to get your pot of gold," said Mavis.

"Like that will ever happen." Chief O'Finnly looked at Jeremiah. "I've heard quite a bit about you." The leprechaun pressed a button, and something showed up on the wall. "Mavis, lights."

The room went dark, except for the space, which, as Jeremiah soon realized, was showing the human's career as a police officer.

"Over the past five years, you've made 200 individual arrests, most were your typical criminals - drunk drivers, drug users, petty thieves, joyriders, and the live. However, you've also put your fair share of hardened criminals behind bars - drug dealers, murderers, rapists, arsonists. Been involved in 20 joint-task force operations, even some with a few of our officers, including your first case, if I'm right, not that you knew who we were at the time. You've also been wounded in the line of duty a few times, Medal of Bravery, and a couple of others."

"So, you know everything about me," said Jeremiah.

"Fairly close," said O'Finnly. "However, you don't know everything."

The screen then showed the pictures of over two dozen people that Jeremiah recognized as those he'd helped, from simple things, like finding directions, up to solving the murder of the one's wife. However, right next to each of them, was a picture of some sort of creature from the realms of Horror, Fantasy, Sci-Fi, Mythology, or from the mind of an Artist or Writer with a lot of Imagination.

"Is this their real forms?" he asked.

"Yes," said Frank. "We keep track of people that have encounters with creatures like us, especially those in the Police Department, Fire Department, Hospitals, Military, Airports, even schools and lodging industries. As it is, you've come close to discovering their true identities on a few occasions. Probably would have recruited you sooner or later, especially if you clearly saw them in their true form. After all, see a mermaid swimming in the dark, you might think they're just skinny- dipping, and the dark lighting is tricking you. See them in the full light however, and you're sober - then there's an issue."

"What would have happened if I caught you in your real form, in like Las Vegas, and saw you clearly?"

"Bribe you, recruit you, drug you, or discredit you," said Chief O'Finnly. "Than being said, most of the time, you'd think that he was in a costume of some sort. You probably would of thought it to be just part of the scenery."

"But, what if someone, who wouldn't allow anything to shut him up, tried to expose you?" Jeremiah asked.

"Then we show him the full city, and we tell him to write about the place," said Frank. "Most people would call his writing fiction, and they'd make money off of it, as would we. We actually even have something similar going on with various movie makers, and, more often than not, we feature our own in their movies. I was even a Stunt Wolf in the one Wolfman remake, not too long ago. That was fun."

"But, what about in extremely serious situations, those who threatened to kill people, and such?"

"Depend on if we have permission to kill them or not," said O'Finnly, as he looked at Frank. "Aren't I right, Frank?"

The werewolf nodded. "Seven of the thirteen Elders have to agree to it, and the Leader of our city passes it on to the Chief, who passes it on to us."

"And what happens to those who disregard this rule?" O'Finnly asked, looking at Frank, with a mischievous grin on his face, sending a chill down Jeremiah's spine.

Frank sighed. "Punished by execution, for endangering the safety of our society."

"Very good," said O'Finnly. The leprechaun's expression became more friendly. "You see, Jeremiah, we survive because of our deal with the military, and secrecy is our greatest weapon. So, remember, keep your silence." The leprechaun looked at Mavis. "Lights."

Jeremiah had to blink.

"You are allowed to leave."

"Come on, Jeremiah," said Frank, as the werewolf put a hand on the human's shoulder.

The two started to leave, when O'Finnly called out. "Oh, I forgot. Mavis, his coin."

Jeremiah heard a pinging sound, and saw Frank catch something. The werewolf then put it in his hand, closing his fingers over it.

"Keep it," said Frank. "It's good luck."

Soon, the pair left the room.

"He scares me," said Jeremiah.

"Be glad he was in a good mood," said Frank. "You don't want him in a bad one."

"Why not?"

"Luck comes in both good, and bad, forms," said Frank. "Stay on his good side, and you'll be lucky with everything. Get on his bad side though, and you'll have trouble."

Soon enough, the pair were in another room, and Frank put his watch on, looking like the Fed that Jeremiah had met so long ago. "I hope that your father eats lunch at his desk, and not someplace else," said Frank. "After all, they are three hours ahead of us, or so."
Beulah at that point fell unconscious on her kitchen floor, she wasn't injured, she was just dreaming...Dreaming she was floating in the sky looking at the world
When Beulah woke up the next morning, she looked out the kitchen window to see Atomica sleeping in the back yard. She called a question to her: "Atomica? What's with all the scrapes and bruises? Why are your antenna crinkled?"

From her hangover Atomica muttered, "Don't bother me now. I'll talk to you later."



Jeremiah and Frank sat before the monitor where the face of an older man in a police uniform suddenly appeared.

"Dad!" Jeremiah said. "How's everything going?"
Ill with a nasty blood-hangover, Tania stumbled to her feet. The procedure took the better part of five minutes, seeming to rival the most delicate neurosurgery in the number of steps involved, but leaning against a wall in an alley was better than lying in the gutter. Her head hurt; she felt like her brain was swelling up and about to crack open her skull. Sighing, Tania took a wobbly step forward, absently putting on her mask as she began to emerge from the deeper shadows at the end of the grotto-like alleyway. It had been some party last night, especially after she had broken her rule and eaten way more of her precious blood stock than she had intended.

Groaning, Tania hobbled to the end of the alley, trying not to think about what might have happened if she and passed out somewhere less shady. It was already late in the day; good thing she had a day off, she thought, lurching out onto the street proper. It was a bright, sunny day, and all that bright Nevada sunlight spread itself gently over a huge scene of destruction rampaging down either end of the street. Water-mains busted, gas lines broken, cars upturned, pavement shattered, huge rents in the buildings, streetlight twisted and sparking weakly...

Some party last night, indeed. The vamp thought, too tired to wonder what kind of devastating natural disaster could have created the wreckage, and instead limped for home.
A Non-Existent User
After almost getting in a massive fight with Atomica Amanda had returned to her normal height and size. Thankfully that Minotaur doctor came just in time before anything serious initiated. With a sigh of relief Amanda headed over to the police station. Walking up to the front desk she asked the desk attendant where Jeremiah and Frank where, hoping to get her orders and assignments for the day. The secretary told her to hold on for a few minutes since they were talking with the chief. Amanda sighed and sat on one of the waiting chairs. She tried to keep herself occupied by reading one of the stray magazines on monster culture. Finding herself bored again she discarded it and tried to telepathically talk to Henry, but he was pretty far away.

She hoped she could still reach him telepathically or work would feel really lonely. She’d tried everything from audiobooks to… sigh, pop radio but nothing was quite as interesting as holding a conversation with another intelligent being. Hopefully she could at least get some excitement from the tourists and their… antics. As she mulled this over in her head as well as tried to contact Henry she inwardly hoped Frank and that human would be out soon so she could get on the clock. The sooner she got on the sooner she’d be out of that oversized metal oven they call a patrol car. It was never all that comfortable in those hot patrol cars, and adding on the fact that she had a thick coat of fur and they all lived in the middle of the Arizona desert made weeks on end in a hot little patrol car a little more than undesirable.
The fight was over as quick as it began. And thus, Chaos had no idea what to do next. What she was hoping for was some action, and someone to share it with. Even though she didn't know Amanda very well, she at least wanted to try to get to know her at least by some amount, but she didn't seem to give a rat's ass about anyone but herself and her boyfriend. So there went that idea. All that was left now was to let the doc take care of Atomica and that was that. Nothing more.


Until they appeared anyway, and in flocks too.
Back in the room, Jeremiah was looking at his father's face, from the other side of the country.

"What's the deal with the monkey suit?" Chief Johnson asked. "Did you get married by Elvis or something?"

Jeremiah gulped. "That might have been easier to explain." He looked at Frank, who was watching him carefully through his sunglasses.

"Do you wish for me to tell him the situation?" Frank asked, in an emotionless manner.

Jeremiah chuckled nervously, and nodded.

"Very well."

Chief Johnson looked at the disguised werewolf, and his eyes widened in recognition. "You're that Fed that interfered in my son's first case! I called Everyone trying to figure out who the hell you were! What the Hell are you doing with my son this time?"

"Ever hear of Area 51?"

Chief Johnson scoffed at this. "Weapons Research and Testing facility, along with plenty of stories involving little green men."

"Exactly."

Chief Johnson blinked. "You're telling me that my son got mixed up with Area 51 shit?"

"That's one way of putting it," said Frank. "Your son suffered from a broken axle, and we offered to take care of it, providing that he only went to the locations he was allowed to go to - cafeteria, bathroom, and his quarters. Problem is, he didn't. Your son saw some Highly Sensitive Classified Information, the kind that could prove deadly in the Wrong hands. We gave your son a choice - Federal Prison for twenty years, on charges of Espionage, or five years with us, in charge of keeping the top secret information about this facility just that, Top Secret."

Chief Johnson's face became red with anger. "If you don't release my son at once, I'll come over there, and kick your ass! What you've done is sure to be illegal! You can't imprison someone on trumped-up charges, and the Draft system was abolished!"

"Actually, the Draft still exists as a back-up plan, in case Volunteers can't be found for Service," said Frank. "As for trumped-up charges, we have video evidence of him in the room, which has the Classified Information. I could show you the edited version of the tape - it has the item he saw blacked out, but everything else is still there, including the researcher calling for the guards, and the guards coming in to apprehend him."

Chief Johnson looked at his son. "Is this true?"

Jeremiah chuckled nervously. "I guess you could say that."

"We took your son's record into consideration when we made our offer to him, Chief Johnson," said Frank. "In fact, my boss was quite impressed with his record, wishes that some of the other agents were half as good. He has also worked quite well with other Area 51 Agents, whose identities must be kept secret, even from the FBI, locating things they might have missed." Frank looked at Jeremiah. "That's part of the reason we gave him the offer of serving with us - a fresh eye can see things that tired ones overlook."

Chief Johnson sighed. "Just one thing - what was my son's first case really about? You must know who the woman really was, and who it was that killed her, and who killed him."

Frank looked at the police chief. "The woman was a scientist that worked here. She was offered a great deal of money to betray the country. She refused, and was killed because of it. The murderer was the son of an Ambassador, meaning that couldn't be arrested without the type of proof that would stand up in a court of law. As for the man who killed that woman's murderer, let's just say that he was dealt with, and is serving his time - seems that the man was her father-in-law, and took the murder personally."

Chief Johnson looked at him. "I see. Is that all you can tell me?"

"That is all I'm allowed to say on the matter."

Chief Johnson sighed again. "Is there any way I can contact my son, beyond these unexpected teleconferences during my lunch break?"

"A message will arrive for you in the mail tomorrow," said Frank. "Within it is a number, with which you can call him. He shall also be allowed to call you, and write letters to you, and you to him. However, his calls will be monitored, and the letters he writes will be censored, if need be."

"I understand," said Chief Johnson. "At the very least, could you keep an eye on him? His mother would kill me if she found out that I got our baby boy in trouble."

Frank gave a slight smile. "That's one thing we do well. Jeremiah, have you anything else to say to your father before we disconnect?"

Jeremiah chuckled nervously, as he rubbed the back of his head. "Tell mom that I send my love, and that I hope to see her, and the rest, during the Holidays."

"I will," said Chief Johnson.

"Disconnecting," said Frank.

"One second, Mr. Agent," said Chief Johnson. "Just, what is your name?"

"I'm not authorized to give you my name, but, for the purposes of communication, Agent Frank Grey will do just fine."

"In that case, Mr. Grey, thank you for letting me talk to my son."

Frank gave a slight chuckle. "Funny. We did the talking. Disconnecting."

"Good-"

The monitor turned off.

Frank looked at Jeremiah. "I hate good-byes." The werewolf took the watch off, reverting to his werewolf form, removed the tie, and unbuttoned the suit, and shirt. "And I dislike wearing this getup."

"But, what about the image?" Jeremiah asked.

"That's practical," said Frank. "After the message is sent though, one can take liberties for comfort. That's a side-effect of these things. They may offer the same protection as the uniform, but formality is not me!"

"So, what do we do now?" Jeremiah asked.

"Very simple - put on our normal uniforms, get in our car, and then go patrol our sector," said Frank. "We have twenty-foot tall Martians to keep from peeping into windows, and seven foot tall Venitians to keep away from the trees."

"What do those look like?" Jeremiah asked.

"Ever see Bruce Campbell's Alien Apocalypse?"

"That crappy Sci-Fi movie about the Termite things that took over the world to cut down the forests?"

"Those were Venitians that took on the roles of those creatures," said Frank. "The real trick was making them look like crappy special effects."

Jeremiah chuckled nervously. "Tell me they don't bite peoples' heads off and eat them."

"They're vegetarian, and wood, eaters," said Frank. "In the scenes where they had to look like they were biting peoples' heads off and swallowing them, watermelons were used."

Jeremiah gave a sigh of relief. "That's one less thing to worry over then."
Beulah finally awake, rubbed her head and turned on the TV...Boring...Boring...Boring

Until she came to one channel, there was a Woman, talking about 'The need the purge this Earth of Monsters...'
Fascinating, Beulah thought. You would think they would censor such ranting. Apparently not.

...for the day is close at hand when Judgement shall be made and those who cavort and cohabit with monsters will find them selves on the wrong side of Grace. There will be a wailing and a gnashing of teeth when the sinners shall be cast into the fiery pits. What about you, viewer? Do you cavort with monsters? Wake up before it is too late and recognize that this Earth must be purged. We must cleanse the planet and restore its purity!...
Still woozy, Tania limped past he badly battered and abused body of Atomica, lying like a downed aircraft in Beulah's back yard.

Watching TV, the mouse mutant heard the door bell ring.

"Beu? Beulah? It's Tania. Any thoughts on Operation Popsicle Stand?"

" 'Operation Popsicle Stand'?" Mumbled Atomica dubiously, looking like she would throw up any moment.

"Yes," Said Tania primly. "In reference to how we're going to blow it." The vamp turned back to the door and started knocked again.
Terrance is hard at work with a griffin with a sore wing. "I don't know what's wrong with my wing doc. It hurts when I try to fly." Terrance carefully applies an aqua blue gel on the infected wing, only on the skin and not the feathers. "There," Terrance says, "Try flapping it now." The griffin flapped it "Oh, that feels a whole lot better. Think I'll go out and fly around a bit." Terrance says "Now remember Kraa, stay within the city and keep low, we don't want unneeded attention from outsiders."
A Non-Existent User
Amanda started to grow impatient as she had already proven that she could not create a telepathic connection with Henry at this far a distance. She started tapping her foot paw impatiently, folding her arms and swishing her tails behind her, getting a bit annoyed at how long the human and werewolf were taking. Her eyes widened as she saw the human and werewolf enter the main lobby of the police station, smiling, she got up and approached them. The kitsune chuckled, “Hey you two, so are you both ready for tourist season to begin?”
By the time the aliens had started their descent, Chaos had already gone back home, retrieved the audio clip, (along with some other things) and made her way to the police station to hand it over the tape to Grayfur. And upon entering the station, she saw Grayfur, Jeremiah, and Amanda all standing at the front desk talking to each other.


"Hey guys!" Chaos said as she approached the three of them, each one looking back at Chaos.


"Hey Chaos. Atomica do any real damage this time?" Grayfur said.


"Well, let's just say the city looks like a small version of just about every natural disaster hit the place from her house all the way up here." Chaos said as she sighed, looking down at the floor.


"Damn. The mayor won't be too pleased about her behavior this time around for sure." Grayfur said as he shook his head in disbelief.


"Oh right, before i forget, i have something for you." Then Chaos grabbed the recording and handed it over to Grayfur.


"What's this?" Grayfur asked.


"One of my contacts overhead something illegal going down while they were eating out someplace. On that recording is three people you might know well talking about sneaking out of the city and having a joy ride in the human world." Grayfur looked at the recording with great intent as he was about to push the play button, but then put it in his pocket instead.


"Thanks Chaos. I'll listen to what it has to say later. Right now we need to start our patrol of the city." Grayfur said as he began walking out of the building with Jeremiah and Amanda. But then stopped and turned around and said...


"Oh right, i gave the fire dept a call last night and recommended you for a position there. They told me to tell you to drop on by whenever you have the time." Grayfur said as Chaos let out a great big smile and said...


"Thanks Grayfur. I'll go see them now then." Chaos said as she walked outside with them, but then went off to the fire dept to see about that new job opening.
"So, exactly, what do we do?" Jeremiah asked, as he and Frank got into the werewolf's patrol car.

"Ever get assigned to work during the Parades that NYC tends to hold?" Frank asked.

Jeremiah rolled his eyes. "More than a few of them."

"Well, this is similar," said Frank. "Lots of those who live on the Outside tend to show up around this time, and aliens do a lot of their Visiting as well."

"How do you keep it all a secret?" Jeremiah asked. "Someone is sure to know."

"Lots of people know, the trick is how they handle it," said Frank. "Some will look at the UFOs that they do see, and they'll try to come up with their own explanations - strange weather balloon, Air Force testing out a new design for aircraft, strange cloud, or even an alien spaceship, but most are smart enough to keep quiet about it, and pass it off as Area 51 stuff."

"What if they talk about it?" Jeremiah asked.

"Most will laugh it off, and will claim that they met the aliens once, and treat it as nothing special," said Frank. "Most of the people in the towns within a hundred miles of the Base have people that believe in the possibility of aliens. To say that they saw an alien would be like you seeing some celebrity picking up groceries in the same store you go to - nice to talk about for a while, but then the story gets old."

"Do you do anything to them?"

"Not at all. In fact, the UFOs doing their things are actually a cover for the movements of people like me, and the others who live in town," said Frank. "Most of the time, those folks will give us a lift to our destinations. Other times, some people will be so busy listening to a good alien story, they won't notice that the fella over in the corner of the restaurant has features that belong more on a cat, than a human, like claws, carnivorous teeth, whiskers, vertical irises, fur, and a tail, or anything else that would normally stand out."

"But, what if people do see them as they are?" Jeremiah asked.

"It's funny at how many places host ComicCons during this time of the year," Frank said. "To say nothing about other Conventions where the participants are in a costume of some sort."

"But, what if there is no logical explanation?" Jeremiah asked. "I mean, what if you were in NYC, and you saw someone trying to kill a woman, and you were forced to use your real form to stop the guy, and you killed the guy in front of this woman, with your bare hands, by tearing his throat out, or something?"

"Drug the woman with something," said Frank, "Especially if she's hysterical; the police would chalk up the story about the big hairy creature to the drug affecting her senses - they'll think that someone with a knife had saved her, and, most likely, fled to avoid being connected to the crime. The real issue is when they are calm, and thinking clearly."

"What happens then?" Jeremiah asked.

"If they have a criminal record, blackmail them with threats of sending them back to prison. If they are below the poverty level, money tends to buy their silence, especially regular deposits to their bank account, which are tax-free as well. Some don't require any sort of bribes or threats, and keep quiet on their own," said Frank. "Then you have people that threaten to expose you - some are well-meaning, so, we show them just what they'd be in danger of risking, and ask them to keep quiet, or, if they can't keep quiet, tell the story in a manner that seems like fiction, books or movies - those actually help us - get people used to the idea that there might be friendly monsters out there, to lessen the shock for when we do reveal ourselves."

"You're planning to reveal yourselves?" Jeremiah asked.

"Along with the aliens - in 2042, hopefully," said Frank. "Humans in general aren't ready for us yet though."

"What do you mean?" Jeremiah asked.

"You still have humans who hate other humans, due to race, religion, nationality, gender, or sexuality," said James. "You think that Martin Luther King Jr. had it rough in Alabama? Cakewalk by comparison - although, I was an admirer of the Reverend, and I've even had a chance to talk to him once. He had a good soul in him, saved his life once, which is why he never spoke of me or my kind. Kind of wish my younger offspring got the chance to meet him."

"You met with Martin Luther King Jr.?" Jeremiah asked.

"Name someone from the 20th century that's in the History books, and odds are good that I met them, especially after 1942," said Frank. "John F. Kennedy visited here before he went on a tour of Texas. Personally, I wish that he had brought me along during his trip to Dallas, might of saved his life."

"You've seen a lot of things," said Jeremiah.

"I have."

"But, you still didn't fully answer my question."

Frank turned on the radio. "Comedy Time, with Susan Tylor Moore."

"We must cleanse this Earth of monsters. Only then shall Salvation be ours!"

"Who's this?" Jeremiah asked

"A phony televangelist," said Frank. "One of the biggest conwoman in the country. Bilked billions out of people, including plenty from our own, back when she was doing an insurance thing, in addition to this. We abducted her from her own home, knocked her out, and brought her before a real priest, who happens to be a demon. Needless to say, if you start saying you've seen demons wearing the clothes of priests, you've got issues. She had even bigger issues after the IRS was informed about the money she didn't claim on her tax forms. Trust me when I say this - no one messes with the IRS, not even us!"

"You're afraid of the Tax Collector?"

"Safer to piss off the Chief than to piss off a IRS agent," said Frank. "They don't care what you are, if you don't pay your taxes, they'll come after you. Luckily, we were smart enough to plant a few of our own inside of them - makes things easier on us."
Beulah was kind of wishing she didn't even turn on the TV after that shrill woman. She felt sick, she wanted to get out of here but the security was too tight, she feared that something had happened to her family in that time
Maybe Beulah could contact them by mail. She knew she couldn't send a letter directly to them. That would just be confiscated by the authorities here. But what if she sent a letter to someone else, someone who knew her family? That might work, but she would have to be very clever about it and choose the recipient carefully.

Atomica drank two gallons of ice cold grapefruit juice. "Whew! I think I'm slowly getting back to normal. Too bad I have no memory of my rampage. Judging by the plumes of smoke still rising from various points in the city, I must have had a LOT of fun!"
Tania gripped her still aching head, leaning against Beulah's door. "Glad to know you're having a good time. My head still hurts." By this point, her fist was starting to hurt as much as her skull. Apparently, Beulah wasn't in the mood to talk.

"I'm going home," She told Atomica. "See you later -try not to destroy any cities while I'm gone."

"As long as you don't drain anyone." Atomica stretched, looking almost recovered enough to limp home herself.


A Non-Existent User
Amanda moped a bit in her patrol car, waiting for something exciting to happen. She actually started to hope that some wayward, drunk alien would try to start shit with some of the citizens just so there could be a little action. She slowly drove through the town as the baking heat started getting to her and she turned on the cars air conditioning. She turned on the radio, dialing through different stations that mostly comprised of top 40 radio hits and local UFO radio stations that dabbled in interviews with skeptics and actual live feed from nearby observatories, trying to listen into radio feeds from space. The kitsune thought it was kind of cute that they were looking to space to find aliens when a herd of drunk, partying 20 foot aliens were only a forty five minute drive from most of these observatories.

Amanda gasped as she heard her cell phone ring, picking it up it was Henry, “Amanda I just cracked the code, the serum is about to be medically tested and then put into production.” The kisune smiled, “That’s great Henry, I’m so proud of you…” Then something big and heavy slammed onto the hood of Amanda’s patrol car, shattering all the windows and crushing the motor like an empty soda can. Amanda sighed, “I’ll call you back later honey.” Assessing the damage Amanda growled in rage, “And I just took this thing to the fucking carwash.” Amanda stepped out of her vehicle, her eyes literally glowing and seeping out pure white-hot energy, looking to see who or what had destroyed her patrol car.
Upon reaching the fire dept, Chaos saw someone waving for her outside. It was none other than the MC fire chief herself, the fiery Phoenix (currently in human form) known as Lady Flame, but otherwise called Amber Agnes.


"Over here Chaos!" Amber said as Chaos walked over to greet her.


"Hi Amber. It's nice to see you again. Glad to see you're still wearing the same old slutty outfit as always." Chaos said jokingly as Amber twirled around in her very revealing yet attractive blood red outfit that ended just under her hips, while from the neckline down to just above her navel there were black lace straps that showed off her cleavage.


"What can i say? It always turns other people's eyes my way when i walk down the sidewalk. And really, when i cover myself up in to much cloth, i get hot. And when i get hot..."


"You're likely to set the city on fire." Chaos interrupted Amber as both girls giggled at the comment.


"What can i say? I guess i just can't help myself sometimes. Especially whenever I'm being pleasured by another man." Amber said as she licked the tip of her index finger and watched as the heat from her body started boiling her spit away.


"What about when you're being pleasured by another woman?" Chaos said seductively as she walked her fingers up Amber's body to her chest and placed her palm there, quietly moaning upon feeling the warming sensation coming from between her breasts and her beating heart.


"Hmm. We'll just have to wait and see now won't we?" Amber said as she placed her hands at Chaos's hips, leading the two of them to close in on each other, almost to the point where they could easily kiss each other. Until someone from within the fire dept interrupted them.


"Hey boss! We got trouble downtown! One of the PD's squad cars hit Jerry on his way to work." Said a really obese looking pig anthro as he slowly made his way over to us.


"Jerry? Who's that?" Chaos asked.


"He's a 50' tall magma titan who originally lived in the Cleveland Volcano in the Aleutian Islands of Alaska. And i thought i made it perfectly clear to him not to walk through the city to get to work today. Just because there's water in the canal doesn't mean there's enough there to kill him. He can cross it just fine. In fact I've seen his 20' tall kids do the same thing last week when they came over to visit him." Amber said as she followed the pig back inside in order to suit up, leaving Chaos to follow.
Meanwhile, Jeremiah was watching Frank give directions to some Venitian termites. They were looking for some place called "Joe's Tree Farm", and Frank was using a map to show them how to get there.

"After that, take a left on Harris Avenue, go four-point-five United States' miles, and it will be on your right, with a big sign covered in leaves and fruit, with the name of the place on it," said Frank. "You can't miss it."

A smallish termite made a gesture of some sort, and spoke in a clicking noise.

Frank laughed. "Of course you can eat the trees there - it's what they are there for. Just make sure your father pays for the meal." Frank then looked at the adult termite. "I do hope you enjoy your stay."

The adult said something, made a gesture, and took off in his car.

"Cute kid," Frank said, as he walked up to the patrol car, and got in. "I hope they enjoy their stay."

"Why couldn't I understand what they were saying?" Jeremiah asked. "Isn't that chip supposed to act like a translator?"

"In a personal conversation, sure," said Frank. "However, at that distance, it won't work for your transmitter."

"But, what if they were violent?" Jeremiah asked. "How would I know to help you?"

"Some gestures aren't much different," said Frank. "They pull a weapon, that's when you put this thing in drive, and you press this green button here." The werewolf pointed at a button next to the airbag symbol. "Activates a Nitro Boost of sorts that sends the car forward at fifty miles per hour, and causes it to crash into the other car. The way this thing is built, the patrol car will be scratched, but functional. The other car will need everything replaced. They'll be so shaken up, that arrests will be very easy."

"So, what can damage one of these things?"

"A giant stepping on it."

"Calling any cars within the vicinity of Vincent Street and 8th!" said the Dispatcher's voice on the radio. "Officer involved in accident. Car stepped on by magma titan."

"Figures," Frank said. "Computer, display location of incident, car involved, and any cars withing a 20 block radius."

"Scanning," said the Computer. "Car involved used by Amanda Xu. Nearest Cars are Officers Reginald Richards and Jackie Winters, as are Patrolmen Charles Waters and Francis Drake."

"Alright," said Frank. He then pressed a button by the radio. "Units 34 and 72, it's yours. Remember, keep the crowds back, and wait until Fire Rescue shows up. Amanda, what the hell were you doing to get a patrol car smashed?"

"Just driving along, and talking to Henry on my cell phone," said Amanda, over the radio.

The werewolf growled. "Use the the Hands-Free System next time! Maybe you'll pay more attention to the road next time, and this situation will be avoided!"

"Do I have to tell the Chief?"

"You can leave the cell phone part out of the report," said Frank. "However, you will still need to admit that you were distracted while driving."

Amanda sighed. "I understand."

"Good," said Frank. "Everyone else, continue with your regular patrols. Units 34 and 72, check on Unit 14's route in addition to your own after the situation has been made safe and secure. Unit 1 out."

"Did you tell Amanda to lie on a report to the Chief?" Jeremiah asked.

"Not exactly," said Frank. "That, and the Chief already knows what happened."

"How?"

"Leprechaun's gold," said Frank, as he tapped his pocket. "Carry one of his coins, and he can see, and hear, what's going on around it, and, if need be, send himself to that location, to give you luck, for better, or worse, depending on how you got the gold. Thus, why it's a bad idea to steal from one. The Chief may not be very powerful on his own, but you don't want to get Willie Coyote's streak of bad luck, where anvils are concerned, and such. He can't kill you, but as the Genie once said, 'You'd be surprised what you can live through.'"

"Are you talking about the character voiced by Robin Williams?" Jeremiah asked.

Frank chuckled. "He sure was a funny guy." Then, he sighed. "It's just too bad he was so sad inside. I liked the guy."

"Did you ever meet him?" Jeremiah asked.

"I went to one of his performances once, even got his autograph, and shook his hands," said Frank. "It was a Halloween thing, meaning he saw the real me. Said that I had the best costume he'd ever seen. But as for actually knowing him, no."

"Is it hard to lose people you know, especially those with a mortal lifespan?"

Frank frowned. "Depends on how close you were. I miss my third wife, Tina. We met up over in Europe, she was nurse at the time, helping to treat American forces. As for me, let's just say that a piece of silver was lodged in my lower backside, and I needed someone to remove it, but the medics were busy with more serious cases. I told the two humans assigned to the unit as 'Go-Betweens' to go and get 'someone with medical expertise, and a couple of sharp knives', and that someone was her. Now, mind you, I was under a canvas, except for my ass, which was shaved, but it's hard as hell to disguise a tail, even with very dim lighting. Didn't take her more than thirty seconds to figure out what I was, and she tried to get out, only, my voice changed her mind. What, I said was, 'Please Miss, don't run. I need your help.' I don't know what it was exactly that changed her mind, the fact that I said 'Please', the fact that I was asking for help, the fact that I wasn't growling at her, or maybe she heard the pain that was in my voice. Whatever it was, it made her summon her courage, and she went right to work, removed the silver, and my wound healed right up. After that, she began asking questions, and I let her in on the secret, as it were, making her promise not to tell anyone that she operated on a werewolf's ass, but, instead, on some officer who got a piece of shrapnel stuck in him, which was true - artillery round landed in a church I'd been taking shelter in, and damaged the cross, causing a piece of it to find itself in my rear."

Jeremiah chuckled at this. "So, what about afterwards?"

"She was attached to the unit, as our Medical Officer. After the war, she became a scientist at the base, and, we continued to see each other. We eventually got married, had a son, then a daughter, then another son, then another daughter, and half a dozen more after that." Frank sighed. "After that, she got cancer. All I could do was hold her hands, told her that I still loved her, as her hair fell out, and then, wasted away to nothing. I was there when she died. Only thing sadder than that was when our eldest boy was killed in Vietnam, about a week later."

"Wouldn't your son have been a werewolf?"

"Genetics are funny in those who have human ancestors - hypothetically, if I took your sister as one of my wives-"

"I hope not."

"Hypothetically, fifty percent chance the kid would be a werewolf, fifty percent chance a human. Monster Genes are Dominant over Human Genes, but are Co-Dominant with the Genes of other monsters. That being said, the child of Two Monsters could be human, if the parents were both half-human themselves, but, one Monster or Two, that human would be more physically fit than any normal human," said Frank. "Our son followed in my footsteps, and joined the military. He got stationed in Vietnam. One day, he and his men were escorting a convoy. They were ambushed. Many were wounded, several were killed. However, he managed to get the men over a certain strategic bridge, and tried to blow it to keep the enemy from following them. There was a problem with the explosives. He ran back over to the other side, and the enemy tried to shoot him, as he fixed the problem. Well, he solved the problem. The explosives went, as did the cliffside, the bridge, and my son, in a cloud of debris, along with a hundred of the enemy, or so I was told. He got the Medal of Honor, Postmortem, for it. I accepted it in his steed."

"Why would he do that?" Jeremiah asked.

"Let's just say that there was a native woman in the convoy, one that he was in love with, one who was carrying his child," said Frank. "He may not of been a werewolf, but there are certain things that just keep passing on down, one being to protect your family and friends, at any cost, even your life. It's how we are - like I said, I sacrificed my own freedom to save my other son's life - no price is too high, when your family and friends are on the line."

"What about your soul?" Jeremiah asked. "What if you had to sell your soul to the Devil to save your family?"

"Satan isn't that evil," said Frank. "To be honest, he's more of a Warden of a very large prison full of evil souls, or so the Demons and Succubi that live around here say. As for God, he can be a big jerk sometimes, or so the Angels that live here say."

"Seriously?"

"Don't believe everything the Bible tells you," said Frank. "And as for Jesus being the Son of God - that part is true, but it wasn't some Miracle - let's just say that God watched Mary, took on Human Form, met up with her, and found a nice quiet spot with her. I don't need to tell you what happened after that."

"Then, why didn't anything bad happen to Mary after that, given how things were during that time?"

"He's right behind the IRS on the list of Guys to Not Piss Off," said Frank. "If someone messed with Mary, bad things happened to them."

"Why doesn't he just show up to help people out?" Jeremiah asked.

"He's the kind of guy that encourages people to help themselves out," said Frank. "After the deaths of my wife and son, I tried to kill myself, repeatedly. One time, I took a revolver, loaded all six cylinders with silver bullets, went to an isolated spot at the edge of the barrier, stuck the barrel in my mouth, cocked the hammer, and pulled the trigger - nothing. Did it again - nothing. Must of cocked that hammer and pulled the trigger a dozen times - nothing. Aimed it at a rock, and it functioned perfectly, all six bullets. After that, some barrier guard, newly transferred that week, walked by, and asked what I was doing out in the middle of nowhere, all alone, with a gun in my hand. I told him what I was trying to do. He hit me with his fist, which packed one hell of a punch, and asked me what would my wife and son think if they saw me trying to do that sort of stunt. He told me that they would have wanted me to live, as I had people that loved me, that cared for me. We spent a good hour talking, before I went back to town. A week later, he got transferred. After that, I got a letter from my son's girlfriend, and that letter told me a lot about my son, about how much of a hero he really was, and that she hoped that their child would be just like him. After that, I found the will to live, reenlisted, and I've been active, up until recently."

"Recently?"

"Got hit by an RPG over in Afghanistan seven years ago. Must of been a piece of silver in it, because my left kneecap was just gone," said Frank. "The only reason I can walk is because I wear a brace under my pants, without it, let's just say it's embarrassing to run on three limbs."

"So, you turned to this afterwards?"

"Actually, I'd already been part of it. Need something to bring home the bacon." The werewolf then looked at the recording he'd gotten from Chaos. "Might as well see what this is about - could enjoy a good story about someone trying to beat the system."

"Is there a way to beat it?" Jeremiah asked.

"Yeah, ask permission to leave, especially if you're on the Restricted List," said Frank. "Otherwise, you're not leaving."

"Because the guards will shoot you?"

"You wish. No, the chip in your ass will activate a failsafe of sorts, and you'll be running towards the nearest bathroom, and taking a sitdown," Frank said. "Thing is, instead of doing anything, you'll be sitting your ass on that toilet, until someone comes to deactivate the failsafe, and that's when you're a man!"

"What about women?"

"The chip is up someplace else, and causes them to do something else, only they don't get to experience a release, until someone come to deactivate the damn thing!"

Jeremiah's eyes widened. "Who the hell would design something to do that?"

"A perverted sadist," said Frank. "And no, it wasn't one of the aliens. And they didn't come up with the locations either."

"Jesus!"

"Let's just say we're working on something else, one that can be injected into the bloodstream, and will just have you, basically, stay in place, if you try to escape," said Frank. "Less embarrassing that way."
(I want out of this campfire I can't keep up with every massive wall of text)
"And I've got one of these chips in me?" Jeremiah asked.

"You sure do," Frank said.


Beulah lay on her bed staring at the ceiling. She was sick of this life. Nothing about it appealed to her. It just didn't interest her anymore. She didn't even feel like talking to Atomica.

Atomica was gradually recovering from the damage she had suffered during her rampage. She promised herself that she would never ever go on a rampage again, but it wasn't the first time she had made such a promise.

She sighed. Maybe it was all about Fate. No matter what you did, your life was going to play out in a certain way. You might think you had some control over what happened to you, but you didn't. Not really.
Tania was just walking home, nursing her pounding skull, when yet another interesting thing happened. A cop -talking on the phone while driving- rear ended what appeared to be a motile volcano.

"Jerry! Watch out!" The big guy probably didn't even hear her as the speeding vehicle suddenly cut across his ankles. Ponderously, the giant began to topple, streams of lava pouring off him in his surprise.

"Oh no..." Jerry seemed to virtually explode on contact with the pavement, as hundreds of tons if tumbling rock and magma very abruptly met the resisting ground. The fire brigade was about to have its work cut out.
Terrance was treating a burn victim, a satyr named Phillip. "There you go Phillip, just be careful when climbing volcanos." Phillip says "Oh, that ointment feels good, but I didn't climb a volcano, did you see that Magma titan out there?"
"Yeah, I heard about it." Terrance says, "A real mess." Terrance thought that he should be helping out there. A lot more burn victims may need immediate treatment.
After me, Amber, and the rest of the team available at the time finished prepping for the worst, we all boarded the same firetruck and speed off towards the scene of the accident. It didn't take us very long to get there, but by the time we did, we all felt our hearts drop a little when we saw Jerry. Or what was left of him anyway.


"Oh no! Jerry!" Amber shouted as she jumped from the still moving firetruck and rushed on over to the pile of molten rocks and lava that was now slowly oozing every which way, while the rest of us could only watch from the sidelines and feel saddened by the fact that one of our own, was now dead.


"How could this have happened?" Amber said as she looked around and saw one of the city's squad cars halfway inside the molten mess, and a kisune in police uniform standing right beside it, watching the scene unfold before her now glowing eyes. It was Amanda.


"Hey you! Are you the one who did this?!" Amber said as she approached Amanda, while a red aura began radiating from around Amber's body.
Frank frowned as he listened to the recording. "Well, that confirms my suspicions."

"That someone is planning an escape?" Jeremiah asked.

"There's always someone on the Restricted List planning an escape," said Frank. "They are welcome to try. They'll just end up on the toilet, for one reason or another. No, it's Beulah Mousekawittz I'm worried about. She's suffering from some serious Depression, and trust me, the last thing she needs is to be tossed into a cage."

"So, what are you going to do?" Jeremiah asked.

"Computer, Print record of Beulah Mousekawittz's behavior since she has been on the Restricted List."

"Printing now."

A sheet of paper appeared in front of Jeremiah.

"Anything in red?" Frank asked.

Jeremiah took a look, scanning the list of offences. "Um, nothing in red, but there is a list of things on here. More than a few assaults, parking tickets, drunk and disorderly, uh, resisting arrest, littering, and, um, jaywalking."

Frank took a quick look. "Nothing that can't be dealt with. Most everyone has those kinds of things on their records. I've had my fair share of drunken brawls, uh, not while on duty of course, but my record isn't perfect. Nether's the Chief's, he's had his moments. That being said, I can go forward with my plan."

"And, what would that plan be?" Jeremiah asked.

Frank chuckled. "To give her what she truly desires, the freedom to see her family."

"You're going to let her go?" Jeremiah asked.

"In a manner of speaking," said Frank. "She'll be monitored, but free to go where she wants. We'll provide transportation to the city of her choosing, give her a watch, and then we'll go on our own tour, and the Government will pay for every dime we spend."

"Don't you need some sort of Authorization to do that?" Jeremiah asked.

"The Chief has to approve of it, but, given the fact that he isn't calling, I'm sure he'll be be willing to grant it."

"Oh, I approve of it alright," came Chief O'Finnly's voice over the communication system. "In fact, I'm throwing in additional member onto your little tour - Amanda Xu."

"Why is that?" Frank asked.

"If her coin is anything to go by, I'm going to have a call from the Fire Chief, all but demanding that I fire her," said the leprechaun's voice. "Apparently, birdbrain is forgetting that fire titans can be restored if you keep their remains on fire, and piece them back together. Amanda needs to stat away from the city for a while, and out of my hair."

Frank groaned at this. "Got the message. I'll bring her with us."

"Good." The Chief hung up.

"So, two days working here, and I'm getting a vacation already?" Jeremiah asked.

"It's a working vacation," said Frank. "We go there to have fun, but if we get a call, we have to deal with the case, and the locals."

"One question - how do we get there?"

Frank grinned. "How do you feel about having a private jet for you, and a few friends?"

Jeremiah's eyes bulged. "Is that like having First Class to yourself?"

"Actually, that's Third Class by comparison."

"It's that good?"

Frank chuckled. "Beets everything else, unless you have your own wings, but even fliers like someone else to do the work on occasion."

"So, will I get to visit my family?" Jeremiah asked.

"Only if Beulah wishes to visit NYC."
Atomica watched Beulah packing her suitcase. "I don't get it. They are actually not only going to let you leave but also provide transportation?"

"Yeah! A private jet!" Beulah's mood had improved considerably.

"I'll never understand this city," Atomica said.

"And this city will never understand you!"

Atomica chuckled. "That might be true. I know one thing. I will never get to fly on an airplane. I'm just too big."
A Non-Existent User
Amanda looked up at the giant molten beast as she started using her psychic powers to pull water from anywhere, fire hydrants, faucets, showers and anywhere else the produces water to form a massive ball of water that she then threw at the large lava monster, “Listen big guy you really need to cool the hell off.” She continued throwing any water that hadn’t evaporated yet at the large molten creature hoping to get the creature in a state that was no longer hostile. Amanda groaned, “They don’t pay me enough for this job,” completely unaware of her reassignment or her bosses annoyance towards her.
"Hey! Are you listening to me?!" Amber shouted as Amanda seemed to ignore her, Amanda could only look at the lava titan's broken body as it slowly began to reassemble itself, taking most of us by shock. Until one of the team said something.


"Oh that's right. I almost forgot that Jerry's race can reassemble themselves if they're kept on fire." All of us looked at the anthro pig from before and then back at Jerry, dumbfounded as he was almost back to normal once again. But something was wrong with Amanda, she still had that glow in her eyes, and her attention was focused entirely on Jerry for some odd reason.


Then, without warning, all of the nearby fire hydrants started erupting, along with all the nearby manhole covers, facets from nearby buildings, etc. And from all these places, water started flowing from them, until they started forming a giant ball of water right in front of Amanda, from which she then threw into Jerry while he was trying to reform, causing his body to grow colder and darker.


“Listen big guy, you really need to cool the hell off.” Amanda said as she started forming another water ball attack, While Amber rushed over to Jerry's side in an attempt to rekindle his now soaking body, leaving Chaos to try and stop Amanda from launching the killing blow. It was then that Amanda launched the second ball of water right at Jerry, and that's also when Chaos commanded the water to stop in it's tracks right before making contact with Jerry's body.


"What are you doing Amanda?! Jerry isn't trying to harm you! He never was! You have to stop this madness now Amanda, before you end up killing someone!" Chaos shouted at Amanda, trying to convince her that Jerry wasn't a threat to her or anyone else. But even Chaos knew that she couldn't keep Amanda at bay forever, something would have to be done soon if anyone would be able to calm her fury and save Jerry's life.
"Calling Unit 14, calling Unit 14," blared the radio in Amanda's car. "This is Chief O'Flinny calling Amanda Xu."

Amanda stopped her attack, and raced over to her car, picking up the C.B. handle. "Chief?"

"I could ignore a number of the things you've done in the last few weeks, mainly on account of the fact that you are in love, and not exactly in your right state of mind at the moment, and believe me, I know how kitsunes get when they fall in love, always distracted."

Amanda chuckled nervously at this. "Yes, sir."

"However, assault is something I cannot ignore. If I hadn't called you just now, you would have killed that fire titan. We don't need that kind of shit, especially during the Tourist Season!"

Amanda gulped. "So, what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to give you a choice; a month's suspension, or babysitting my daughter for a month."

Amanda's whole body turned to white. No one survived babysitting young leprechauns unscathed, especially half-leprechauns that were also half-dragon, unless the babysitter was also a leprechaun. At the very least, one suffered from property damage due to upsetting them, while others suffered worse. "I'll take the suspension."

"Good," said the Chief. "Head home, and tomorrow, report to Frank. You'll be going to New York City."

"New York City? But me and Henry had-"

"I've talked with the Base Commander, and he's willing to give Henry a month's vacation," said the Chief. "That should give you plenty of time to get to know each other better."

Amanda could hear Mavis chuckle on the other end of the radio.

"Call it an Early Wedding Present," said the Chief. "I want you to get rid of all of that pent up energy, that way you can keep on task when you're back on duty in a month. Understand?"

"Yes Chief, I understand."

"Good. Now head home - Henry will be with you shortly, and well, have fun." The Chief then hung up.

Amanda had to chuckle. On the one hand, she was on Suspension. On the other, she now had a whole month to spend with Henry. On another hand, she was going to miss part of Tourist Season in Monster City. But, on yet another hand, she was going to be a tourist in NYC, and not have to worry about drunk tourists, because she was going to be one herself!

She then looked at the fire titan, and saw that he was back together. "Well, it looks like we both got lucky." She then looked at the patrol car - it wouldn't be running anytime soon. "I guess I'd better walk."

In another section of town, Frank breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm glad she took the suspension."

"Is babysitting a leprechaun that bad?" Jeremiah asked.

"You're better off babysitting a 500 foot long giant baby, instead of an inch long leprechaun baby, or worse yet, leprechaun hybrids."

"Why's that?"

"A giant's baby only causes property damage, and most have insurance for that," said Frank. "Leprechaun babies have the ability to control luck, but no control over the ability, and react instinctively. Giant baby will throw your car when in a tantrum, and demolish your neighbor's house. Leprechaun baby will cause your money to vanish, including that in your bank, to say nothing about the rest of your family fortune. Leprechaun hybrids can be worse though."

"What do you mean?"

"Let's just say that Murphy's Law is in effect - anything that can go wrong, goes wrong."

"Any way to reverse the damage?"

"Pray that the parents are friends of yours who can undo your bad luck."

"So, basically, it's a form of punishment?"

"Yeah."

"Sounds like a cruel and unusual punishment to me."

"Isn't that typical of babysitting?"

Jeremiah chuckled nervously at this. "You have a point there." The human looked out the window. "So, what do we do?"

"First things first," Frank said, as he pulled over next to a building. "Get you some clothes."

Jeremiah looked at the place. "Are we allowed to? I mean, we are on duty, right?"

"I think an exception can be made in this case," said Frank. "Besides, knowing the owner, and the security guard, we'll have a few shoplifters to take care of, and free from some webs."

"Are they giant spiders?" Jeremiah asked.

"Joe, the Security Guard, is. Marry, the Owner is a dridder."

"What the hell's that?"

"Human from the waist up, spider from the waist down."

Jeremiah blinked. "That just sounds freaky."

"Many monsters look like they are half human, half animal," said Frank. "And that's the full-blooded ones. I won't go into detail about the hybrids."

"How do you expect people to get used to the idea of monsters being friendly?" Jeremiah asked. "I mean, you all look strange, and some are just plain freaky."

"That's where movies, television, books, and video games come in handy," said Frank. "Get the children of Today used to the idea of Friendly Monsters and Aliens, so that when they become the adults of Tomorrow, society in general won't be so freaked out at some werewolf entering a butcher's shop, and asking for fifty pounds of beef, or for a woman to get an ultrasound, and the doctor sees that she's pregnant with a rakshasa."

"Rakshasa?"

"Tiger-like creature, with the ability to cast illusions about their appearance, and like many monsters, have a reputation they don't deserve."

"So, just what part about the reputation that monsters have is wrong?" Jeremiah asked.

"That we're evil creatures that desire the destruction of Mankind, and many of use actively seek out Humans to kill, eat, or convert into monsters themselves," said Frank. "And let me tell you this - most of it is bullshit. Can Monsters destroy all of Mankind? Yes, but there's no reason to do so, that and many monsters have human relations - it's hard to find a monster without any human blood in them, unless they practice Inbreeding, but too much of that becomes undesirable. Can Monsters eat Humans? Some are capable of it, but, given as to how most Monsters are part Human themselves, that's like eating your own kin, and leaves a bad taste in the mouth. Can Monsters turn Humans into Monsters? Some can, but try to avoid it, as the Human's psyche ends up changing in ways that might change that person from someone who might of been a happy-go-lucky kind of person into someone who is a homicidal maniac."

"So, what is the truth?"

"We try to live lives like everyone else; have a good childhood, get a good education, find that special someone, or someones, have a good job, have some kids, raise said kids, watch them get married, and watch the cycle repeat itself," said Frank. "In many ways, we're like the proverbial sleeping giant - let us be, and things are good. Wake us up, and destruction ensues."

"What about Real sleeping giants, like, you know, the ones that pass out from drinking too much?" Jeremiah asked.

"Get another giant to take them home," said Frank. "Much easier, and much safer." Frank then got out of the car. "Well, enough chit-chat, time to get you some clothes, pick up a few shoplifters, and then get ready for our trip."
While on her way back to NYC...Beulah sipped wine out of a goblet
Atomica had a new hobby - an ant farm. It was a glass box with dirt in it and a colony of ants - normal ants, red ones. Atomica could watch them dig their tunnels. There was a queen who laid all the eggs. Then the worker ants raised the children and gathered the food.

"I am your god," Atomica whispered.
Right before Chaos's strength was about to give out, someone's voice was blaring on the police radio. It was the police chief's voice from the sound of it, and boy did he sound pissed. Amanda let her water ball drop to the ground and rushed on over to the radio and began talking into it. While Chaos did want to see what they were talking about, she knew she had to help Amber with getting Jerry pieced back together and dried off.


"Hey Chaos!" Amber shouted as Chaos rushed on over to Amber and Jerry.


"Think you can get all the water around Jerry away from here?" Chaos nodded and began commanding all the water in the outside area to form into a giant ball like Amanda was using before, except Chaos flung back it into the sewer system from the flipped manhole cover.


Meanwhile, Amber was concentrating on heating Jerry back up. She lit a match she had on her and enlarged the flame so that it covered Jerry's whole body and helped with the recovery process. The cool part was the flame was blue instead of red, and it was an even greater sight to see when Jerry began standing upright once more. Only this time, Amanda didn't attack him.


In fact, what was Amanda doing now? When Chaos looked back at the squad car, she didn't see her anywhere at all.


"She must've bailed so she wouldn't get in trouble. I'll have to inform Grayfur about this once I'm finished up here." Chaos thought to herself as she looked back up at Jerry who seemed to be calm once again.


"You alright Jerry? Now do you see what happens when you walk through the city without permission?" Jerry looked down like he was upset. Then Amber sighed and said...


"Now look, I've had Legans call your workplace and told them what happened here while we were on route, so you can go back home for today and tomorrow. But next time you go to work, cross the damn canal alright?" Jerry nodded his head in response and slowly began his trek back home, leaving Chaos and the others to get back into the firetruck and make sure nothing else bad happened on his way back home.
Frank and Jeremiah entered the clothing store, and Jeremiah was just impressed. There were shirts in all sorts of shapes and sizes, as well as pants, belts, shoes, boots, socks, underwear, hats, coats, and anything else that could be worn by someone, or something.

"Take a look around," said Frank. "And try some of the stuff on."

"What is this stuff made of?" Jeremiah asked, as he felt one of the shirts. "It feels like cotton."

"It's kind of complicated to describe," said Frank. "Then again, making clothing was never my specialty. However, given that there are a number of creatures that make a substance known as silk, including spiders, that should give you a clue or two as to what this is made out of."

"You mean, this is all spider silk?" Jeremiah asked.

"There's more than that, but it is one of the ingredients that I know of," said Frank. "I'm not too sure about the rest of it, but, like I said, clothing isn't something I deal in."

"And you expect me to wear this?"

"Everyone in the City and on the Base wears clothing made from the stuff," said Frank. "Special chemicals are used to make it feel like other types of cloth, like cotton, wool, canvas, cashmere, or anything else. So, go and try some of the stuff, and I'll ask Marry if she has any packages for us."

Jeremiah grabbed one of the T-shirts. "Um, where are the changing rooms?"

Frank pointed. "Over there."

"Um, thanks."

Jeremiah headed towards the Changing Room, and Frank went up to the counter.

"New partner?" asked a pleasant voice.

"That he is, Marry," said Frank, as he looked at the owner, who looked like a fairly attractive human, at unless one suffered from arachnophobia, and saw that she was a spider below the waist, to saw nothing about the eight legs, and the spider parts, and was hanging from a spider's web. "Charge what he wants to my account."

"Your card."

Frank got out his credit card. "Any packages for me?"

The spider-woman looked at a door behind the counter. "Three."

"Size?"

"Under seven feet tall, humanoid, all of them."

Frank nodded. "Average start to the Tourist Season. Too bad I'll be missing part of it."

"Oh? An Outside case?"

"Of a sort."

Frank's personal radio went off at that moment.

"Officer Greyfur. Are you there?"

"Hey, Chaos. How's the first day on the Fire Department treating you?"

"Had to deal with some fires started by Jerry, which involved Amanda."

"I heard," said Frank. "She's been suspended."

"For how long?"

"One month," said Frank. "Tell the Fire Chief that the kitsune won't be in the city for the next thirty days."

"Why's that?"

"Let's just say that part of the reason she's been acting like a bratty schoolgirl has to deal with the fact that she has a boyfriend, and that her hormones are out of whack," chuckled Frank. "The Chief gave her the Suspension to give her time to get the whole thing out of her system, and all that."

"Give me that C.B.," said another voice. "That you Frank?"

"Nice to hear you, Amber."

"So, that vixen that ran into my fireman was suspended, and then given a vacation?"

"It was that or babysit Chief O'Flinny's daughter."

"Oh. I remember what happened to the last babysitter."

"Yeah, the Chief's still paying that bill."

"Leprechaun-dragon hybrids are a real handful."

"Hence why I try to stay away from leprechaun women, or use protection at the very least."

"So, she'll be leaving the city?"

"Her and a few others, including myself."

"Aw, but you'll miss Tourist Season."

Frank chuckled. "Now there's a shame."


******

A while later, Frank and Jeremiah were in the lounge section of a private jet, as was Beulah. As for Amanda and Henry, well, let's just say that there was a room with a "Do Not Disturb" thingy on the door handle.

"You can't beat this," Frank said, as he deftly filled a shot glass with some Kentucky Bourbon. "A flight to NYC, great seats, good booze, good music-" he turned on a set of speakers, and then turned them off. "Good shows." He turned on a TV, before turning it off again. "To say nothing about some really good beds." He pointed towards the back, where, much to Jeremiah's embarrassment, moans and groans of passion could be heard. "The only thing missing is the swimming pool, but the Jacuzzi is a good substitute." Frank pressed a button, causing the floor to retract, and a pool of bubbling water to appear. "And all of it being paid for by the United States Armed Forces."

"How do you afford something like this?" Jeremiah asked.

"The Black Budget of the military," said Frank. "One of these things has the same price as ten F-16 fighter-jets, or about two hundred million dollars."

"How do you justify the price tag?"

"You can't put a price on being able to de-stress your fighters, especially after a high profile assignment, especially one where they had to kill someone." Frank frowned. "It's not easy for new recruits to deal with such things. You ever kill someone?"

"I haven't."

"A philosopher once said that, when you kill someone, a part of you dies. I don't know if that's true, but I saw the face of the first person I killed for years, especially just when I was in that perfect state of sleep, he'd show up. He was in the Wehrmacht, the German Army, black hair, brown eyes, about twenty years old. My first assignment, and probably his as well. I was there to kill someone, and he was there to protect him. He saw me, and I saw that he saw me. Next thing I knew, my hands were around his throat, choking the life out of him, and him trying to stab me. I could see the fear in his eyes, and he saw the fear in mine. Only one of us was destined to walk away, and it wasn't going to be him. When it was done, I felt sick to my stomach, and threw up - yeah, the Big Bad Werewolf throwing up at his first kill of Long Pig."

"What about after? You've killed plenty of people afterwards, right?"

"About three hundred, over the next seventy years," said Frank. "I never took any pleasure in doing it though, it was simply a job, and those I killed were endangering fellow American lives."

"Would you mind not talking about war stories, and close the hot tub thing?" Beulah asked. "I'm trying to enjoy my wine here."

Frank looked at her, as he pressed a button, replacing the floor. "Why don't you tell us your story, and I mean the truth. There's a reason you picked New York City as your destination. Let me take a guess, and you tell me how close I am - you have a child somewhere in the Big Apple, and you plan on visiting him."

"What if I was?" Beulah asked.

"You know full well about the Chip - tracks your every movement, so if you want to keep the fact that you are meeting someone secret, you and your friend best keep on the move."

"And you'll be following me, I suppose?"

Frank smiled. "No, nor will any other Agent in the city be following you, unless something goes wrong. You have my word on that."

Beulah sighed. "Good."

"Just remember to wear the watch when you are in Public," said Frank. "The less certain people know you're back in town, the better."

"And I suppose you've picked out an image for me?"

"I left that up to you," said Frank. "I want you to feel comfortable with the image.

"What about Amanda?" Jeremiah asked.

"She can cast an illusion," said Frank. "She doesn't need a watch."

"I suppose that's good," said Jeremiah.

"Good." said Frank. "Now, what's your poison?" The werewolf pulled up a hidden liquor storage thing from between their seats.

"I don't normally drink," said Jeremiah.

Frank pushed down on the liquor storage system, and pulled out a similar system full of soda. "I hope this is more to your liking."

"Yeah," said Jeremiah, as he got a bottle. He then looked towards the one bedroom, which was still making plenty of noise. "How long can she keep at it?"

Frank turned his head, and then looked back at Jeremiah. "Until Henry passes out. Even I have trouble keeping up with a kitsune in that state."
"Frank..." Beulah said "I'm drunk so I'm going to say right now...Your very existence is one big headache...I suspect you were around at the time of the big bang."
Atomica was talking to her glass box full of ants. "Beulah went away, but she will come back. I hope she has a good time. She wasn't happy here. I could tell by the way she would cry a lot and moan I'm not happy here!"
After Jerry was resuscitated, despite the efforts of a doubtless panicked firemen unrealizing of the damage they were doing- Tania just headed home. She'd have to go her job -her real job, not exactly performable in the coffee shop- in a few hours, and she intended to spend every second of those in her coffin.
A Non-Existent User
Amanda stepped out of the bedroom that she and Henry shared. The kitsune was drenched in sweat, making her orange and white fur cling to her body as she left her passed out human mate in their bedroom to rest. Catching her breath she took a seat with the group, “I’m really sorry about that. I do hope you all accept my apology. It’s just simply invigorating to get that off my chest.” The now clothed vixen looked around at the monsters and humans chatting, she smiled a bit as she set her gaze onto Jeremiah. The human was still rather mysterious to her and she wanted to know more about him. Smiling kindly at the human she spoke up, “S-so Jeremiah… do you have a girlfriend, or mate or companion of any sort? I-I’m sorry if that’s a personal question, i-it’s just I don’t really know much about you and I would find it exuberating if you were to divulge some personal information so it can open conversation and I may divulge some anecdotes as well.” The difference in the sexually relieved Amanda was almost night and day, she was much more proper now, spoke more intricately, even though that made it much harder to fully digest what she was saying to someone and had a much more intelligent posture and air to her.
After we made sure Jerry got home safe and sound, we all returned to the fire dept where Amber invited Chaos into her office for a...private debriefing.


"Well well Chaos, I'm impressed by how well you handled yourself out there." Amber said as she took a seat at her desk, placing her legs on top of it and kicking off her boots.


"Really? Do i get a reward for how well i preformed out there?" Chaos said as she sat her rear on the desk by Amber's feet.


"Perhaps. We'll have to see what i can find for you when we get back to my place." Chaos's eyes widened at Amber's comment, she didn't think Amber would be the one inviting Chaos over to her place for a...reward. But all the same, Chaos began smiling as Amber put on a pair of old sneakers and led Chaos out to the parking lot where they both got into Amber's old (but still running) car and began driving it back home, where Amber led Chaos inside for Chaos's...reward.


"Alright, so where's my reward Amber? Chaos said, almost already knowing where to look for it as she held her hand over Amber's rear.


"It's in my bedroom, on the bed, but i think i may need some help finding it. You don't mind helping me find it do you?" Amber said as she too grabbed Chaos by her rear, and soon the two of them found their way inside Amber's room before they both slammed the door shut and locked it.


"Not at all Amber, not at all."


Some time later




"Mmm. Chaos, you sure know how to treat a girl." Amber said to Chaos as they both continued using the shower. (They did have sex mind you, but we've skipped that part because i don't think the other members would like it if i described in great detail how the whole thing went down)


"How long has it been since our last time? Two years? And you still know how to boil my water." Chaos said as she continued kissing Amber while Amber held the shower head over themselves to wash the sweat and...other bodily fluids off their body's.


"I could do even better, provided i didn't have to worry about setting the whole city on fire." Amber said as she slowly parted herself from Chaos's grasp and stepped out of the shower, while Chaos shut it off and followed Amber back to her living room where they both took a seat. (It was far to smelly, let alone sticky to sit on the bed in the bedroom right now)


"Well, what do we do now?" Chaos said as she adjusted herself to sit on top of Amber's lap."


"Well i--" Just then, knocking could be heard at Amber's front door.


"I wonder who that could be?" Amber said as she moved Chaos off of her lap and got up and walked over to the door and opened it a crack to see who was there.


"Oh, Knox, i didn't think I'd see you here in the city any time soon." Amber said as she kept the door opened a crack, for on the other side of the door was one (human) General Knox of the United States Military, in uniform, and with a fine assortment of medals and trophies on his chest from his heroics in.....whatever war he was part of. Amber couldn't recall at the moment.


"Hello Amber, may i speak with Chaos?"


"Is that mister gold vault i hear?" Chaos said as she walked over to the front door, where Amber fully opened the door and let Knox see Chaos and Amber both in their...nude pride.


"Chaos, we need you to come with us as soon as you're able to dress yourself. We've got a top secret assignment with your name on it." Knox said, clearly unaffected about the fact that there were two fully nude women right in front of him.


"Like right now? Don't you want to stay and have some fun with us?" Chaos said as she enlarged the size of her boobs to an F, and watched as Knox was still unfazed.


"Chaos, for the millionth time, I'm gay. I don't care how big you make those things grow, i won't be interested in the slightest." Knox said as his voice seemed to grow darker and less calm.


"*Giggle* Sure, keep telling yourself that Mr. Money in the Vault, but we both know as soon as you get home you--"


"Chaos!" Knox shouted as Chaos stopped joking around as she returned her breast size to normal and began getting dressed as quickly as she could. If there was one thing you never wanted Knox to do, it was make him repeat himself.


"So what's this about if you don't mind me asking Knox?" Amber asked as she crossed her arms.


"As i said, it's top secret assignment with Chaos's name on it, so only Chaos, myself, and a few select others may know about it." Amber knew better than to ask Knox a question about a secret, but when it involves one of her...playmates, she just had to try.


"All ready Knox, so where are we going?" Chaos said as she walked out the door with Knox leading her.


"I'll explain on the way." Knox said as he made his way over to a car where an armed (human) guard opened the back door for Chaos as she stepped inside, leaving Knox to join her on the opposite side as the driver drove away.


"Here's the situation, we've got a rouge agent on the loose in NYC, one of our best by the name of Finny J. Leonard. He's a black cat anthro, and he recently took with him on one of his assignments a prototype weapon that fires a small, but deadly if used in the wrong hands, sound wave that triggers something in the senses of any human being within 30 yards of the device, slowing turning their brain into mush. It's intended use was to dumb anyone following our field agents while on assignment, causing them to lose focus on what they were doing at the time of pursuit. However, we fear that Leo may have either been compromised, or he's planing on giving the device away to another agent from a different country. He's failed to report in at just about every location we've sent for him to stop by at, and every time we try to get close he evades us at every turn." Knox said as Chaos started thinking of some questions to ask Knox.


"What about the chip implant?"


"Already tried that. That's how we arranged our third meeting, but then he surprised us by not going. So we think someone may have gotten to the chip. But how they got the thing to stop working is beyond me." Knox said as he pulled out a suitcase and handed it over to Chaos.


"Inside are a few things to help you track him down, one of which is a folder with Leo's file. Everything you need to know about him is in that file. There are also a few items to both help you track him down, and keep you safe." Knox said as Chaos opened the suitcase up and looked at it's contents. One of them being a small container of sorts with something inside.


"What's this?"


"That's something the lab boys came up just recently A very powerful version of cat-nip, that when opened and shaken will attract the attention of every feline creature within a 20 mile radius. A word of warning however, don't use it unless you're sure Leo is in the area. A number of our scientists lives have been lost testing the damn thing out. It won't just attract any cat or cat like creature in the area, it'll turn them into bloodhounds until they get a taste of the stuff. So use it only at your own risk." Knox said as Chaos put it away and looked at another item in the case.


"A new kind fake death pill. Take one of those in the event of capture, and it'll put you into a state of false death for a short time."


"What's so new about it?"


"You don't need to have your teeth drilled and have a revival pill inserted into the hollow tooth. Only problem with this way is you won't stay dead for long, about fifteen minutes tops, then the effects of the pill ware off and you come right to and right as rain." Chaos nodded and put the pill away, pulling something else out in it's place. A small bag with a finely cut red powder inside.


"That is something we thought you would like as a last resort weapon. That powder, when it comes into contact with any water source, will cause a reaction that will turn said water into a see of flames. For a short time anyway. The lab boys discovered that one on accident just a few days ago, set the swimming pool here in the city ablaze until it went out all by itself, so even we don't know what kind of effects it'll have out in the field." Knox said as Chaos put the stuff away and found the folder on Leo. She was about to open it up and read it, but then the car came to a halt and Knox began exiting the car, leaving Chaos to close the suitcase and follow him out.


"Wow. I get to ride in my own private jet?"


"Close Chaos, you'll be riding in the cargo hold." Knox said as he walked over to the rear of the jet where he opened the cargo door.


"You must be kidding. I'll freeze to death in there before i land."


"Close again Chaos. You'll be freezing to near death in this here capsule, which will unfreeze you upon landing in NYC. It's got a timer which we've set to unfreeze you upon touchdown, and as a backup plan in case it fails, we have someone on the inside of the plane who will unfreeze you if it fails." Knox said as he opened the capsule up and took a step back.


"Who is this someone?" Chaos said as she slowly stepped inside the capsule.


"You'll find out if this thing doesn't do it's job." Knox said with a smile, while Chaos was having second thoughts about sleeping in the capsule. But before she could even think of getting out, Knox closed the door and pressed a button on the side of the device, and within moments, the inside was completely frozen solid, along with Chaos as well, leaving Knox to close up the cargo hold and walk around the side of the plane where he saw the passengers begin to board.


"Officer Grayfur, good to see you again." Knox said as he offered his hand.


"General Knox, come to see us off did you?" Grayfur said as he accepted the handshake.


"Of course. That and well, I've got a small favor to ask of you."


"What is it?"


"There's some delicate cargo in the hold that needs to be taken care of upon your arrival in NYC. When you guys get there, can you take care of it for me?"


"What kind of cargo is it, if i may ask?"


"You'll know it when you see it. Just make sure it doesn't come to any harm during it's stay in New York, and we'll see you greatly rewarded for helping us." Knox said as he placed a hand on Grayfur's shoulder, and then shortly afterwards, made his way back into his car where he was driven away.


Inside Knox's car



After leaving the airport, Knox received a phone call and answered it.


"Is everything taken care of?" Said a male voice on the other end.


"Yes sir, the girl is inside the capsule now, and the delivery boy has been given his instructions." Knox said as he lit a cigar.


"And you're sure he'll keep the girl safe?"


"It doesn't matter if he does or doesn't. All that matters is that we get that device back in one piece, before they get their hands on it. The last thing we need is for someone to realize how badly we screwed up. So the sooner their little trip to New York is over and done with, the better." Knox said as he blew out some smoke and coughed a little.


"You know, if you don't stop smoking those damn things..."


"Don't give me that Surgeon General bullshit, I've been smoking these damn things ever since i was eight years old, if they haven't killed me yet, then i say they're wrong about the dangers of smoking." Knox said as he took another breath in and coughed some more.


"Whatever you say, just make sure the girl doesn't get herself killed out there. We need her back alive if we're to continue testing her as a potential weapon. I can't use her as a corpse Knox, so don't let me d-" Just then, Knox hit the end button on his phone and put it back in his pocket.


"Damn moron. Who does he think he is, giving me orders? He better watch his trap, lest i lock it tight with a spiked chain." Knox said as he laughed and took yet another breath in, and began coughing once again.
Back on the jet, Amanda's questions about Jeremiah's past had caught the human off guard.

"Well, I grew up on the streets of New York City, went to school there and everything," said Jeremiah. He then frowned a bit. "In fact, the school I went to is less then a mile from where the World Trade Centers were. I was in the eight grade when they were attacked for the second time. All I could do was stare out at the smoke and pray to God that my father would be alright. He was one of the officers that went inside, you understand. Then, when they fell, I dreaded that I'd never see him again. That night however, he came home, and I just grabbed onto him, and held him. Then, I saw him cry; I'd never seen him do that before, not even when some drug dealer had shot him. It was then he told me that Uncle Pete was one of the firemen that was inside when the place fell, that he'd been right behind him when they tried to escape the collapse, but when he'd looked back, he was gone."

At this, everyone was silent.

"We've all suffered that day," said Frank. "In fact, I was there, visiting my son, when it happened. We went to do what we could, everyone in the New York City went to do what they could. Some went inside through secret routes to rescue people. Others tried to slow the spread of flames, while others tried to stabilize the buildings. We didn't care if we'd be seen or not. We bought as much time as we could, and saved as many as we could, but it was too much. We lost some of our own there that day. In fact, I saw your father there, and I even saved his life, when I pushed him from a collapsing beam."

"My father never mentioned you saving him," said Jeremiah.

"The mind can play tricks on you," said Frank. "Especially with the smoke and such. That, and he had more important things to worry about, like getting the hell out of there."

"What about my uncle?"

"If I'd of seen it, you could bet that I would have done my best to save him."

Frank fell silent at that point.

Amanda decided to change the subject. "Got any girlfriends?"

Jeremiah chuckled nervously. "No, but it's not from a lack of trying. Many can't deal with the fact that I don't have a regular schedule, as you never know when, or where, the call will be made."

Frank chuckled at this. "Such is the lot of a police officer; always on call. I remember this one time, me and Tina were right at the height of the moment when the call came in; some joyrider had 'borrowed' one of the General's Jeeps, 'Without Permission'. That was annoying. Told them to get someone else, and hung up. Then another call came in; shoplifter. Told them I was busy, and hung up. Then another call came in - there was a drunken brawl going on, and no one else was available. So, I went to the place, knocked out all of the combatants, went back home, and finally, me and my wife were able to finish our card game."

Jeremiah blinked. "You were playing cards when you got the calls?"

"That's right," said Frank. "Over who would be doing the dishes. What did you think we were doing?"

Jeremiah chuckled nervously. "Having sex?"

"Not just after dinner. Reeks havoc with the digestive system. Need to wait a bit so things settle down."

"So, what all does your family consist of?" Amanda asked. "Any siblings?"

"Can't she see my records?" Jeremiah asked.

"I could, but this is more fun," said Amanda.

Frank chuckled at this, as he stood up. "She has you there." He then began walking towards a hatch.

"What are you doing?" Jeremiah asked.

"Going to check the Cargo Hold."

"What for?"

"Because someone put something on without telling me what it is," said Frank.

"Be careful," said Amanda. "It's cold in the Cargo Hold at this height."

"Not my first rodeo." The werewolf opened the hatch, and went down into the floor.

Amanda turned to look at Jeremiah. "So, do you have any siblings?"

"Well, I do have a few," Jeremiah said. "Two brothers and a sister, all older."

Meanwhile, Frank had slipped a pair of gloves onto his hands, as he checked out the Cargo Hold. Most of it was standard equipment; parachutes, life raft, First Aid Kits, emergency rations, a Bradley Fighting Vehicle.

Then, he noticed something that wasn't Standard Issue.

"A Chriogenics Capsule?" he said. He then got out a small device, held it next to the capsule, and a moment later, he was looking at the identity of the person inside. "So, they sent Chaos along for the ride. I hope you're good enough for what they need you for." He then got out a phone, and dialed a number.

"Hello?"

"Hiya, Dickie-Boy. Seems you've given me an Icee Pop, and forgot to tell me that it's cherry-flavored, and you know very well I don't like cherry-flavored Icee Pops."

"I take it that you've found the Chriogenics Capsule with Chaos in it, Officer Greyfur."

"That's right, General Knox," said Frank. "What do you plan on using her for?"

"That's Classified."

"Dickie, half the medals pinned to your suit rightfully belong to me," said Frank. "The only reason you have them is because someone had to act as my face for the cameras, especially before the Watch was perfected. Would you like for the various national news agencies to get a bunch of Anonymous letters telling everyone that you are a fraud?"

Frank could hear some chuckling, followed by some coughing. "That would expose your existence, to explain just how they were required."

"Not unless I was smart about it, and claim that the medals rightfully belong to those who were in the Colored units, people who rarely got a recognition for bravery, if anything," said Frank. "It would paint you to be a racist. Then, another letter would paint you out as a Gay-Man who did nothing for his fellow homosexuals in uniform."

Frank heard another chuckle. "Playing it smart I see - shine the light on some others who deserve to be recognized, and heap plenty of dirt on my dress uniform, while you stick to the shadows. I'll tell you."

Frank soon heard about the suspected traitor, and shook his head. "Finny's no traitor. That cat has been at my side for better than ten years, and has saved my back at least a dozen times, if not more. I would know if he was a traitor."

"His chip's not working, and he has avoided meeting up with our contacts."

Frank chuckled. "There's your problem. His chip isn't working, and your contacts like to meet up in public places, like coffee shops. If his chip isn't working, he can't utilize the watch to make himself look human, meaning he can't meet up with your guys in public."

"Why wouldn't the chip be working?"

"Because it has a lifespan of a year, before it breaks down and exits the body, or did you not get that memo?" said Frank. "It's been a little more than a year since he was last in the City for a replacement. Now he has to stick to the alleys and other such areas to avoid being seen, or do I need to remind you about the various Bigfoot sightings?"

"I see. I have someone to call."

Frank heard the line disconnect. "He was smarter before he became an officer," the werewolf muttered, as he turned off his phone. He then looked at the Chriogenics Chamber. "I'll wake you when we land, Chaos. Right now, it's too damn cold, and I didn't bring an outfit for you." The wolf turned, and headed back towards the main section of the plane, where he could warm back up to something more pleasant than the 40*F his clothes were having him feel, which was much better than the -40*F that was the temperature of the Cargo Hold.
(I can't even focus on what's going on)
Inside her cryogenics capsule in her frozen sleep, Chaos was experiencing a frozen nightmare. The world had turned to snow and ice. It was white everywhere. She was becoming snow blind. A part of the whiteness separated and moved toward her with big lumbering steps. She tried to run away but she was so cold she could barely move. She tried to scream but the sound froze in her throat. Then she heard a cracking noise, the sound of ice breaking, and the ground began to shake.
She tried to scream as a massive crevice opened up -and then she was falling...

Chaos awoke in free-fall, four miles over the Big Apple. It was a bright sunny day, and the frost collected an inch deep in her skin tinkled and cracked as she stretched in the wind, warming up. Even travelling at terminal velocity, the ground seemed so far away that she'd never get there, and Chaos turned herself into an almost infinitesimally narrow spear of flesh, cutting her air resistance to zero.

As the clouds slowly thinned out and she began to approach the ocean of sky-scrapes rearing below her, Chaos morphed again. She carefully flattened herself out into a huge flap of sky-blue and cloud-white, gradually slowing down to the speed of a piece of paper, invisible from below as she descended. Custom-built olfactory and aural sensors popped up around her circular periphery, sampling the entire city for a lead on her quarry.
A Non-Existent User
Amanda chuckled softly, “Well maybe when this all blows over and we get back to base I could introduce you to some of my friends, both human and monster. I bet they wouldn’t mind having a cute little human like you as their date.” The kitsune giggled as Henry stumbled out, groaning, “Amanda! Why did you hide all of my stuff, took my twenty minutes just to find my phone… in the toilet no less.” Amanda giggled and patted her human mate on the shoulder as he sat down next to her and she wrapped her furry tails around him, pulling him close and kissing him on the neck, “Sorry honey, I just felt the urge to trick someone. You know how we kitsune get when it comes to pranks and tricks. I do hope you accept my sincerest apologies?” Henry smiled, burying his face deep into her warm neck fur, “Of course I do.” Realizing Jeremiah was still present Amanda blushed and pulled away from Henry, “Oh I’ve forgotten, Jeremiah I apologize that was terribly rude of us. I’m very sorry.”
In General Knox's car



"I see. I have someone to call." Knox said as he hung up the phone to call his last caller about the chip, and the new information he just learned about it from Grayfur.


"Hello?" Said the voice on the other end.


"You never told me about the lifespan on the damn chips you prick." Knox said as he bit into the end of his cigar.


"Excuse me? What are you talking about?"


"Don't lie to me, you knew about it the whole damn time didn't you?! Do you think I'm stupid or something?!"


"Well, it took you this long for one fleabag to tell you the truth, so doesn't that alone answer your question?"


"You little...you should be thankful you're so many miles away from here, or else I'd have my guards beat the living hell out of you for pulling this stunt on me." Knox said as he tossed his cigar to the floor and stomped it flat under his shoe.


"Oh Knoxy poo, you shouldn't be so rude to me. After all, you wouldn't want me to do as our good friend Grayfur suggested he'd do to you if you didn't tell him about the assignment you gave to Chaos now would you?"


"W-how did you?!--"


"A few words of warning my good friend, the next time you go out partying with your bigwig friends at the slots and with the male strippers, lock your car up nice and tight to make sure no one takes anything. Let alone bug your phone line." Then, in a searing rage, Knox tossed the phone so hard against the inside wall of the car it smashed upon impact, and the car came to a complete halt when the driver heard the sound.


"Sir?! Is everything alright back there?" Said the driver as he lowered the tinted window allowing him to see Knox.


"Yes I'm fine, now stop sitting there doing nothing and take me back to the base!"


"Y-yes sir!" The driver said as he rolled the window back up to give Knox his privacy back and began driving once more.


"I swear to...if that little prick wants to pull a fast one on me, I'll show him. Next time he shows his face around the base, I'll stick him in there with the rest of those damn monsters for the rest of his life!" Knox said as he laughed a hearty laugh, and then coughed some more.
"Having fun?" Frank said, as he came out of the floor.

"Just a little," said Amanda, who gave Henry a quick kiss.

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Beulah asked.

"More or less," said Frank. "Chaos is on board."

"How did she get on?" Jeremiah asked.

"General Knox," Frank said, as he sat down. "Chaos has been assigned to track down a missing operative, and either help him or kill him."

"Who's the target?" Amanda asked.

"Finny J. Leonard."

Amanda scoffed at this. "Finny's no traitor. I would know about that if he was. He's always fun at a Mixer, and no one that fun would be a traitor."

Frank chuckled. "Just like a kitsune to know about that type of thing." The werewolf poured himself a shot of Kentucky Bourbon. "I'm of the opinion that his chip died, thus preventing him from using his watch to disguise himself."

"So, who is this Finny character?" Jeremiah asked.

"Humanoid Cat, black fur, no psychic abilities, or illusion abilities," said Frank. "He's also a friend of mine - saved my back more than a few times. I trust him with my life. He's no traitor, a little forgetful at times, but not a traitor."

"So, what do you want us to do?" Beulah asked.

"You enjoy your time in NYC," said Frank. "Amanda, that goes for you and Henry, unless I call you. I'll see if I can locate Finny, and hide him."

"And Chaos."

"I guess I'll wake her up when we land, and explain the situation to her, that the mission is more of a rescue one, and not an assassination."

"Sounds like a good deal to me," said Amanda. "I don't want to cut my time with Henry short."
Meanwhile in New York...NINJAS!
Atomica ripped open the letter from Beulah. Snail mail! Wasn't that just like the little country mouse? But now Beulah was a city mouse. Atomica read hungrily to see what Beulah was up to in New York. Holy Smokes! Atomica did a double take and flipped over backwards. ... NINJAS!
"Noooo waaay!" The ant's exclamation was like two glaciers sumo wrestling.
Meanwhile Terrance has setup his clinic in Harlem, because it's the only place he can think of that he can treat monsters and not draw enough public attention.
Ms. Brownhoof says "Not exactly like the office you had at the base, is it?" Terrance says "Yeah, but the General said we are needed here. Let's hope we don't get unwanted attention."
Meanwhile, Chaos was still sound asleep in the capsule, still sleeping, possibly having some nightmares about the cold. But other than that, everything was just fine.


Sorry for the short chapter everyone, but until we land in NYC, there just isn't enough for me to really work with.
A few hours later, the jet landed.

"Alright," Frank said, as he picked up his watch and put it on, making himself look human. "Time for some fun. Beulah, don't forget your watch."

The mouse sighed as she picked up the watch, and went into the bathroom.

"Why did she do that?" Jeremiah asked.

"The same reason you try on a new set of clothes in a small room with a mirror," said Frank. "You want to know if it's something you want to wear, and if you like it."

"How does it work?"

"Select five people, and play Mix-and-Match," said Frank. "Franklin Roosevelt, George Patton, Douglas MacArthur, Dwight Eisenhower, and Neil Armstrong form my image."

"Okay, I understand the first four, World War Two and all, but why Armstrong?" Jeremiah asked.

"Takes courage to fly to the moon, especially with what we have," said Frank. "Never could work up the nerve to try it myself."

"You never could stand the idea of being in Outer Space," said Amanda.

Jeremiah looked at her, and found himself looking at an Asian woman of some sort. "Wow!" was all he had to say. Amanda's image certainly made her look extremely attractive.

"Now to wait for Beulah," said Frank.
Tania Kernova came by to visit Atomica. "I chust vanted to see how you ver getting along."

"I'm doing fine," said Atomica. "Want to see my ant farm?"

"Oh, dat is so cute! Look at all der leetle buggies and dey look chust like you!"

"They aren't my children or anything like that."
"Oh!" Atomica straightened up. "And you'll never believe what she told me!" He pulled out the letter and thrust it at Kernova.

She took it curiously, eyes widening as she read down it. "Oh, my..."

"I know, right?"

"Ninjas!" They both yelled together, arms thrown up in exclamation.
In Terrance's clinic, he spots four watch boxes and a note, he picks up the note and it says

Dr. Longhorn,

Inside these boxes are special wristwatches that allow you and your staff to pass as humans. I suggest you use them right away.

Gen. Knox

Terrence opens one box and gives one to Ms. Brownhoof and the rest of the staff hasn't arrived yet. "Ms. Brown hoof, let me know when Msrgaret arrives. I'll be in my office reading the instructions."
After landing, the capsule did it's thing without anyone having to let Chaos out themselves as Chaos fell out disoriented and cold.


"W-w-wow. F-f-f-freezing. I hope i-i never n-n-need to d-do that again." Chaos said as she stumbled out of the cargo hold of the plane, looking around making sure no one was around to see her. Except there was, someone dressed up like an MIB agent who approached Chaos with great haste.


"I presume you're Chaos?" The man asked as he helped Chaos to her feet.


"Y-y-yes. I-i am." Chaos said, still freezing cold as she leaned on the man for support.


"I'm agent Dicky, General Knox asked me to unfreeze you if the capsule didn't work. Glad to see it did it's job though." Dicky said as he led Chaos to a to a black limo and opened the rear passenger door for her.


"T-t-thank y-you." Chaos said as she slowly stepped inside, while Dicky closed the door behind her and got in the front passenger seat, leaving the driver to drive away.


The inside of the limo looked like a party limo, it even had the hot tub in the center of it, though it was already on and bubbling.


"We got the thing warmed up for you ahead of time, just in case we had to thaw you, though you're welcome to it until we get to the place you'll be staying at." Dicky said through an intercom as Chaos slowly stepped into the hot tub and sighed a long relaxing sigh as she felt the tub doing it's job.
(Actually, Dickie was Frank's nickname for General Knox, but then again, I never was a fan of the One Steve Limit in my stories. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/OneSteveLimit)

"There's been an update to your mission," said Dicky. "According to Agent Frank Greyfur, who found out about the capsule containing you, and then blackmailed General Richard Knox about certain things regarding their shared history, and therefor found out about the mission, there's a possibility that Agent Finny's chip died, thereby rendering him unable to move about in Public, what with the Chip being needed to allow him to use his Watch's disguise function. Agent Frank's Theory is that Finny is hold up somewhere that doesn't have available means of communication, such as a payphone."

"So, what's the situation?" Chaos asked.

"We've been checking out cases of unexplainable thefts, in meat markets, and fish store that have occurred recently," said the Agent. "There's been a slight increase of such thefts near the Wharves by the bridge connecting Long Island to the Mainland. Might be him, or it might be someone else, either someone helping him, or another monster that moved there. Either way, that's your first location to check out."

"And if there's trouble?" Chaos asked.

"Agents and their allies are everywhere," the Agent said. "Help is rarely far away."

"So, anything I need to know?"

"You've been provided with a replacement chip for Finny to receive, if that's the problem," said the Agent. "Should you make contact with him, let us know."

Good to know."



Meanwhile, Frank was being updated on the situation involving Chaos. "Alright, keep me informed," he said, as he hung up his phone. "Chaos has met up with her Contact, who will assist her in locating Finny. As for us, we know our parts."

"I'm glad I don't have to get involved in this stuff," said Beulah, as she came out of the bathroom, looking like a woman with a mixture of Asian and European features.

"Looks good on you," said Frank.

"Thank you."

Frank smiled. "Enjoy yourself, and remember to behave."

Soon enough, the plane was empty, and the group of five were leaving the airport in three separate cars, Frank with Jeremiah, Amanda with Henry, and Beulah by herself.

"Nice to get out of the Desert for a while," said Frank, as he drove. "That being said, I'll be glad when we return home."

Jeremiah was busy looking around. "Doesn't seemed to have changed much to me."

Frank raised an eyebrow. "In that case, let's test that theory." The werewolf parked across from an alley. "Take a look over there."

Jeremiah turned his head. "All I see is a homeless man."

"You're looking at him the wrong way," said Frank. "Face straight ahead, and look at him out of the corner of your eyes."

Jeremiah did what he was told, and tried to look at the man out of the corner of his eyes. It was when they were starting to hurt when he saw something that made him gasp. He then looked at him directly, then turned his head forward again, and looked at the man out of the corner of his eyes, to see the man change into something like a man-sized-bird-thing.

"What am I looking at?" the human asked.

"A Harpy," said Frank. "The Watch has only minor problem, aside from being unable to disguise a person's eyes - a human can see a creature's true form with their peripheral vision, though they have to concentrate on it. Most of the time though, this can be ignored as being tired, or something. Roll down the window and knock on the door to the tune 'Shave and a Haircut, Two Bits'."

"Why is that?" Jeremiah asked.

"He's one of our agents," said Frank. "Maybe he has information about Finny, or info on who does."
(PLEASE! Disable me! I don't want to be part of this campfire anymore)
"Are there a lot of ninjas in New York?" Atomica asked.

Tania put her hand to her heart. "Darleenk! Da most famous ninjas of all are in New York! Have you not heard of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?"
Atomica says "No, I haven't."

Meanwhile, back at Terrances clinic, Ms. Brownhoof knocked on the office door "Dr. Longhorn, we have company." Terrence says "Who is it?" Then a warthog mutant along with a rhino mutant pushed Ms. Brownhoof aside "One side mare freak!" and forced their way to the office "Name's Bebop and this is Rocksteady, and we claim this property in the name of the Foot clan." Terrance says "How dare you burst into my office, and tried to charge the two invaders but stopped as he sees that they are accompanied by ninjas.
After a while, Chaos arrived at the place she was going to stay. A small house that looked alright for a temp place, at least she didn't have to worry about anyone getting in her way while she was here.


Chaos then got out of the limo, now warmed up from the hot tub and walked up to the door which was already unlocked and went inside, Dicky following behind her.


"It's a bit empty I'll admit, but you won't be staying here long. Just until you find our friend and bring him back to us." Dicky said as Chaos sat down on a small sofa and lay back on it.


"Right, you must be tired. So I'll just let you rest up for a while while i go get us something to eat." Dicky said as he left, locking the door on his way out and leaving Chaos to get some shut eye.
Meanwhile, Jeremiah was watching the harpy-agent-disguised-as-a-bum wash the front window, and talk to Frank, especially once the werewolf had shown an image and said, "I'm looking for my lost cat. Have you seen him?"

"You're asking me about a cat?" the agent asked. "No, Me not see any cat. Cat not here. Cat like fish. Fish good. Go try fish. Maybe I try fish."

Frank got out some money and handed it to the disguised agent. "Then go and enjoy some, on me."

"Fish good," said the agent, as he walked away. "Me go try fish."

"What did he say in all that nonsense?" Jeremiah asked. "He did say something, right?"

"Simply put, Finny isn't in this section of town, and Larry recommends we try the fish market," said Frank.

"Does he always act that way?" Jeremiah asked.

"No one is going to suspect a crazy homeless man of being a Federal Agent," said Frank. "And to answer the question, no." The werewolf then stiffened, and placed a hand to his ear. "Trouble. Harlem Clinic. Ninjas. On our Way. Pass message along."

"What?" Jeremiah asked.

Frank pulled out an earpiece. "Standard issue. Great for undercover work. Seems Doctor Terrance Longhorn opened a clinic in Harlem, and it's being attacked by ninjas."

"You mean the guy that shoved his hand up my ass opened a clinic in this City?"

"Yep."

"And he's being attacked by ninjas?"

"Yep."

"Sounds like a crazy story," said Jeremiah. "Ninjas don't exist in this day and age, right?"

"A few days ago, you thought that werewolves, and other such things, were just stories," said Frank.

"Good point."

Frank picked up a watch, and pressed a few buttons on it. "Wear this."

"Why?"

"Put it on, and your strength, speed, agility, and reflexes will be doubled," said Frank. "That being said, move very slowly, carefully, and deliberately. Terrance wouldn't like it if you accidentally stomped a hole in the floor of his office."
"This is quite a gadget," Jeremiah said.

"Developed at Area 51," Frank said. "Just a small party of the bounty from the big Roswell windfall. Treasure fell from the sky the day that saucer crashed."

"Does it tell time too?"

"Not as well as it does everything else."

"I like the band," Jeremiah said. "Is it real leather?"

"Don't obsess over the watch, Jeremiah. Just try to think of it as an ordinary watch until you need it's special features."

"Sure, Frank. I just never had a watch this nice before. I usually wear the cheapest Casio. You know... plastic. But this... this is real leather. Nice."
Back at the clinic, Terrance and Ms. Brownhoof are tied up in different ways, Terrance tied to his office chair while the centauress is hogtied then Margaret came in "Sorry, I'm late. You know General Knox. Always procedures for these things. Uh, Why are you two tied up?" Then Rocksteady came in "Another one, hey Bebop! Now we have a dragon here! What now?" Bebop says "Another slave for the Foot. Master Shredder will be so pleased." A familiar voice says "Not so fast bacon breath!" Bebop says "Who dares calls me that?"
"Over here, pork chop! Same with the fella due to be the new trophy over my bed!"

"'Dems fighting words!" The two thugs turned, as did the ninjas, and saw Frank and Jeremiah, both dressing in suits and glasses.

"I'd advise that you surrender," said Frank.

"Get them!" Rocksteady and Bebop charged the two.

"Now!" Frank shouted. The two pressed up against the wall, as the two mutants charged out of the clinic. They then heard a crash. "That takes care of them."

The pair then turned to face the ninjas, who were all in a battle stance.

Frank sniffed the air. "No need to hold back."

Jeremiah glanced at Frank. "What do you mean?"

"They are robots, and pathetic imitations at Japan's Secret Assassins." Frank spat on the ground. "So pathetic that they wear highly conspicuous outfits."

"But, aren't suits conspicuous?" Jeremiah asked.

"Yes, but that's part of the image," said Frank. "A real ninja would be dressed as a janitor, a cleaning lady, a garbage collector, or some such thing that says 'Ignore me. I'm no one important.' This says 'I'm an idiot. Please kick my ass.' Like I said, pathetic."
"Okay," Jeremiah said. "I guess I could enjoy kicking some ass."

But the ninjas weren't waiting to be invited to the party - they were already in attack mode. Jeremiah managed to neatly sidestep his attacker while giving it a shove in the direction it was already traveling so that it lost its balance and crashed into a wall. "I'm not hurt," it said as it bounced back up on its feet.

"You're going to be," Jeremiah said, and landed a vicious kick into the robot's groin.

"Oh, please!" the robot said. "Do you think I have genitals?"
Terrance says "Let me give it a shot." He begins pawing the ground with his hoof "I suggest you stand back." He then tucked his head down and charged the ninja and Jeremiah jumped out of the way as he gored the ninja and it crashed into the wall, and it shut down from the damage.
"Well, that was fun," said Frank. "Now, for the rest." The werewolf pulled out two handguns, and began firing. Within moments, the robots were nothing but pieces of steel. He blew the smoke from both weapon barrels. "That takes care of that."

"And now to fix the place," said Terrance.

"Put out a sign that says 'Closed for Renovations. Will make exceptions for Emergencies.' That's what I'd do," said Frank.

"I'll do that."

A little while later, Frank and Jeremiah were back in casual clothes, driving around NYC.

"So, why did you just shoot those robots instead of engaging them in hand-to-hand combat?" Jeremiah asked. "I mean, you are strong enough to do so."

Frank looked at him. "Eight years ago, I could have done that - run circles around them. But, with my leg the way it is, I can't run that fast, not anymore."

"That doesn't stop you from being a badass," said Jeremiah. "You still could of taken them without running around."

Frank grinned. "Probably could have. I just didn't want them to see that I had a limp. If they had anything resembling brains, they would have picked up on it, and used it against me. That's the real trick in a fight. Always exploit weaknesses."

"I guess that's useful."
"You're damn right it's useful," Frank said.

"For example, you have a weakness for making wisecracks."

"I do?" Jeremiah said.

"Yeah, you were having a freaking conversation with that robot. If it had just been you and him, I think he would have put you down."

Jeremiah grinned. "I do like to make wisecracks. It's the Bruce Willis influence."
Terrance and Ms. Brownhoof's cleaning process is not as fast, if it wasn't for the rants of Bebop and Rocksteady in which they had tied up chairs, Ms. Brownhoof says "Uh, I'm getting sick of their bragging about this Shredder. Who is this Shredder anyway?" Terrence shrugged "I have no idea, Frank says someone will come by to pick them up." Then he heard a front door open. Terrance says "Didn't you read the sign, we're closed for renovations." Amanda came in "That's alright, I'm here to pick up the trash."
"Thank goodness," said Terrance. "It was beginning to smell, and you know what they say about smelly doctor offices."

"What's that?" Amanda asked.

"Keeps the patients away."

"Good one."

Amanda then looked at Terrance. "You'd best hold a room in reserve. There's an agent out here with a non-functioning chip."

The bull nodded."I understand. I hope they are alright. Put the word out that we're open for Immediate Emergencies to the local monster communities, but we'll make house calls if the situation isn't serious."

"That's good to hear."



Meanwhile, Frank and Jeremiah made a stop in the Indian section of the city.

"I always love coming here," Frank said, as he got out. "Good food, good people, and I have a few friends around here."

"I can't say I've ever really been in this section of the city much," said Jeremiah as he also got out. "Always felt like something from across a few oceans."

"You ought to try an visit the real India," said Frank. "Pulled a tour of Duty there once. Always like the stories and legends about the creatures there, and I was even more fascinated about the stories the creatures themselves told."

"Think I'd ever visit your type in their native environment?" Jeremiah asked.

"People disappear when they do that," said Frank.

"What?"

"Most tribes of monsters don't like intruders entering their territory uninvited," said Frank. "Someone must vouch for you, or else you don't get to return to civilization."

"What would they do to me?"

"Depends on how you act towards them," said Frank. "If you are hostile, and try to escape, or worse yet, try to harm them, they'll kill you, or cripple you, at the very least, so that you can't escape. However, if you are friendly, and are helpful, you'll be treated as an Honored Guest, and perhaps even, as a member of the family, at least until someone comes and vouches for you."

"So, how does that work, this whole vouching thing?" Jeremiah asked.

"You must know someone of the community, or a friend of the community, and they will give you a special trinket, or something," said Frank. "It doesn't look like much, maybe a pebble, or a worthless piece of jewelry, but it's more about the scent that trinket has on it that tells the community if you are trustworthy or not."

"But, what if someone stole it from a dead body, of someone who had been vouched for?"

Frank chuckled. "They'd smell that to, and you'd best hope that all you did was find, and then loot said dead body. Many communities tend to kill those who kill their friends. And if you're a thief, you won't be allowed to leave, ever."

"Not even if the person had family?"

"Not even then. No communication the outside world allowed, beyond what they tell you."

"Makes me kind of glad it was you guys I came across then instead."

Frank smiled. "I'm glad you understand. As it is, as long as you behave yourself, you're granted safe passage to the communities that we have agreements with. So long as you don't harm them, monsters and aliens will help you in any way they can. Food, Drink, Shelter, Medicine. Directions - it's all part of the package, even after your Service is over."

"I guess that's useful."

"It even includes your family as well."
"I suppose that would be useful," said Jeremiah. "I mean, it's a little crazy, but, no one just turns down help."

Frank chuckled. "It would be foolish to do that."
With Terrances help, Amanda led both Bebop and Rocksteady into her paddy wagon, before she closed the door. Bebop said one more rant "When master Shredder finds out about this, you are in troub..." Amanda slammed the doors shut before he finished his sentence. "Save it for interrogation pork breath." Amanda shouted. "Now that those two are taken care of, where is your agent with the broken chip?" Terrance says looking around.
"That's the problem," said Amanda. "He's hiding out near the fish market, but where exactly is anyone's guess. After all, it's not like this place is M.C., where he can walk around in the open, as he is." The kitsune gave the minotaur an image of the missing agent. "Keep an eye out, in case he comes during the night."

Terrance nodded at this. "I'll do that."

Meanwhile, over in the Indian section of town, Frank and Jeremiah were walking down the sidewalk.

"You know, the more I think about it, the more I think I've seen those guys before," said Jeremiah. "On a TV show or something."

"You probably did," said Frank. "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles perhaps?"

"How do you know that?" Jeremiah asked.

"Because it's half true, and half fantasy," said Frank. "Ordinary turtles exposed to some sort of mutagen, learn ninjitsu from a mutant rat of some sort, and fight crime. The comics and TV Shows and Movies are their cover - someone claims to see one, someone will ask if they've been watching too much TV. Same goes for other animal-type alien/mutant/animal vigilantes - cartoons, movies, books - all their cover."

"Give me a for instance on what ones are real," said Jeremiah.

"Biker Mice of Chicago, and Mighty Ducks of Anaheim," said Frank.

"Seriously?"

"Then there's this group of cats, and a group of dinosaurs, actually, there's a few of those out there, a group of sharks, and transforming robots. Then, there's all the others."

"How is that all possible, and how does no one ever say anything about -"

At this moment, a group of bikers blew on by, and the sight of them caused Jeremiah to gasp.

"Did I just see -"

"A very nice looking woman riding with a six-foot tall white mouse with a metal face, along with a six foot tall brown mouse with cool glasses on its face, along with a grey one with a mechanical arm and a patch over its eye, all on cool-looking bikes?" Frank asked. "Or did you see one hot chick riding with three tough and burly guys on radically looking bikes? Which one of those stories seems more believable?"

"You have a point."

"The Public likes to take routes that seem more believable, even when the theory they come up with is completely wrong," said Frank. "Alien Ducks from another dimension is impossible, or so they think, so they go with the belief that the team likes to wear costumes, and the alien story is a gimmick their manager came up with to sell tickets. Same with other such stories. That or they pass it off as too much to drink."

"Then, why are there still criminal aliens, monsters, and mutants around?" Jeremiah asked.

"Some escape before they can be chipped at Area 51. Others have no choice but to steal. As it is, we don't go after those who steal for survival, although we do try to help them."

"How?"

"Something similar to Unemployment and Social Security," said Frank. "Money in the mail - cash. Untraceable. Guy shows up at store at night. Disables security system. Gets what he needs. Makes a list. Places list on counter, along with the money to cover the goods that were taken. Then, the alarms are repaired, and the guy leaves the scene. Owner comes in the morning, find the money, finds the list, finds out what was taken, and how much. After that, they have two choices - either claim that a sale had been made while the power was temporary out, or try to explain to the police why someone, who had stolen fifty dollars worth of food, had placed three twenties on the counter, next to a list of the missing items."

"What do most store owners do in that situation?" Jeremiah asked.

"They ring up a sale, check things off, make sure that the State and Uncle Sam get their cuts, and then pocket the extra."

Jeremiah blinked. "I guess that explains a few things."

The pair then turn into an herb shop.

"What are we doing here?" Jeremiah asked.

"Owner's a friend of mine," said Frank. "Saved my life."

"Saved your life?"

"When my knee got shot."

"Okay."

"Hello!" said an Indian-accented voice. "Welcome to Punja's Organic Herbal Remedy Store. How may we help you?"

Frank took a quick look around, before looking at the man at the counter. "You can drop the accent, and the Illusion, Timothy. You know my scent, and the guy with me is in the know."

Jeremiah had to blink. The man at the counter turned into something resembling a humanoid tiger.

"Still," the tiger said, in a Long Island accent. "It's good to see you. Do you need anything?"

Frank tapped his left leg. "Been bothering me a bit more than usual."

"I see," said the tiger. He went to a shelf, and began selecting certain plant parts. He ground some, sliced others, and a few he left intact, as he began placing them in tea bag-sized pouches. "Place these in a cup of warm water, and allow the pouches to seep for five minutes, then drink the tea."

"How do you know this guy?" Jeremiah asked.

"Let's just say that he is a medic, or was," said Frank. "When I was wounded, there was a minefield between me and safety. With no thought to his own health, Timothy managed to run through that field of death, and carried me back to safety. Then, he removed my shattered kneecap."

"Why did he remove it?" Jeremiah asked.

"Silver's like a poison to a werewolf," said Frank. "Anything it's been in contact with has to be cut out, before the element dissolves, and enters the bloodstream."

"Dissolves?"

"Werewolf blood is like acid to silver," said Frank. "That's why silver is so dangerous to a werewolf, as the wound won't heal up, unless every trace of silver is removed."

"Timothy," said a woman's voice. "Why aren't you at the count-? Timothy? Who are these people?"

Jeremiah turned, and found himself looking at a woman, who looked to be in the late stages of pregnancy. There was fear in the woman's eyes as she looked at him.

"It's alright, Margret," said Timothy. "This man right here is a friend from the military, Frank."

"Is she in the know?" Frank asked.

Timothy chuckled nervously. "More or less."

"Good." Frank removed his watch, and looked at the woman. "Your husband and I served together in the Middle East, and he's part of the reason I'm still alive."

The woman had a look of worry on her face. "A werewolf? They're real too?"

Frank looked at Timothy. "What have you told her?"

"Not a whole lot. I mean, we had dated a bit before I revealed what I was to her."

"Third date?"

"No, it was more of an accident. We had just left the restaurant, I had said good-bye, scheduled the next date, and like thirty seconds later, I heard her scream, I ran back, found this guy trying to have his way with her, all I was thinking about was protecting her - you know how the story goes. I mean, you're a product of that kind of story."

"When was this?" Frank asked.

"Last year."

Jeremiah blinked. "Backside of the Chinese place five miles south of here?"

"Yes."

"I guess that explains that case!" exclaimed Jeremiah. "A serial rapist was found with a broken neck, and there were traces of tiger fur on the body. Never found who did it." Jeremiah looked at Frank. "We have to take this guy in!"

"What for?" Frank asked. "Sounds like the killing was done while protecting that woman, and I doubt she'll testify against the man who saved her life."

"But, my father and the department are still investigating the case," said Jeremiah.

"Then pass on a message that the deed was done in defense of another, that you located the person, and ask that the NYPD drops the search for the killer."

"To be honest, I'm more worried about- Uh oh! Trouble." Timothy became human again, and Frank slapped on his watch, to disguise himself, just as the door opened.

"Hey Punch Guy - where's your rent for the week?"

Jeremiah turned his head, and saw a couple of guys that reminded him of the Godfather and Goodfellow films, as they wore Italian suits and everything, but they were more rude.

"I don't think he has it," said the second guy.

"Say, this looks valuable," said the first, as he stood next to a shelf. He then pushed it, knocking the contents off. "Oops!"

"Please, don't make a mess in my store," Timothy said, in his Indian voice. "I have customers."

The second man walked up behind Frank. "Hey tourist. Piece of advice. I wouldn't say anything if I was you. Place is a real dump anyways."

Frank turned to look at him.

"What are you looking at?"

"Used to be that guys like you made a show of seeming to be respectful towards others," said Frank. "How the Families have fallen, if trash like you is all they have."

"You disrespecting me?" the man asked.

"No, but I pity you."

"Pity!" The man laughed. "We have a comedian in the house. Listen good Tourist! We're from the Gambino Family - the toughest of them all."

Frank grinned. "Good to know." He then grabbed the man with one hand by the collar, and lifted him off the ground. He then took his sunglasses off with the other hand. "Now listen up, and listen good! I've served this country for over half of my life! I've been shot more times than you've pulled trigger of that peashooter you have between your legs! I've loved a good woman with the passion that rivals that of an eagle! I've seen more evil than you could even dream of, and seen more good than you deserve! You're nothing but a pimple on the ass end of a tick, and that tick is about to get crushed!"

He the dropped the hood. "Now, you and your friend are to get out of here, and don't you dare come back."

With that, the two took off.

Frank looked at Jeremiah, who was looking at him with his eyes wide open.

"Why didn't you do something to him?" Jeremiah asked.

"Didn't want to spoil the hospitality," said Frank. The werewolf turned towards Timothy. "What do I owe you?"

"It's on the house," said Timothy. "They've been bothering shopkeepers for some months now."

Frank nodded. "I understand."

"Why don't you kill them?" Jeremiah asked.

"I cannot risk my family," said Timothy. "If I killed them, others would come, kill me, my wife, and unborn child."

"You're doing what you have to do to survive," said Frank. "Call me if they come back."
"Why don't the police just arrest the Gambinos and lock them away?" Jeremiah asked.

"It's not that simple," Frank said. "They've got connections all the way up, even judges and magistrates. Also, what about the families of the cops and citizens that would have to testify against them? They would be in danger of retaliation strikes."

"But there has to be something that can be done."

"It's being done," Frank said, "but in a quiet way and you can be sure the Gambinos will be less of a problem in the future."
With Amanda on her way back to the precenct, Terrance, Ms. Brownhoof and Margaret cleaned up the clinic without further interruptions. Margaret says "Amanda mentioned about an agent with a broken chip. Do you have any idea who it is?" Terrance says "She didn't say but I'm sure he or she may arrive any minute." Terrance answered. Margaret then take a cart full of the robot parts "I'm going to recycle into something more useful." Terrance says "Okey, be csreful."
(Steve, the Gambinos are a real gang, just to let you know, and they have a long rap sheet. A member of the NYPD would have at least heard about them, and the other members of the Five Families.)

"So, just who are the Gambinos anyway?" Jeremiah asked.

Frank blinked at this. "Your father must be the kind that doesn't want his son to know about his enemies. They're one of the Five Families, along with the Bonanno, Colombo, Genovese, and Lucchese Families - The New York Mafia. Started to gain a lot of ground during the thirties, mostly Italians, especially those from Sicily, formed the core of the group. The crimes run the gauntlet from thefts, to murder, with a lot of stuff between them - kidnapping, extortion, arson, blackmail, some drug running, and a whole host of others. Less than a thousand men between them, plus a couple thousand allies."

"Why are they still around?" Jeremiah asked.

"Let's just say that the government made a deal with them during WW2, to get help for the invasions of Italy and Sicily, and to keep German spies from entering the East Coast," said Frank. "A 'Necessary Evil' you might say. I've had to deal with more than a few of them during my time, though most were better mannered than those two."

"Like who?" Jeremiah asked.

"Domenico 'Italian Dom' Cefalù, the current leader of the Gambino Family," said Frank. "Met his father during the invasion of Sicily - an honest man by the way, for the most part - don't know where the son went wrong."

"So, where does this guy operate out of?" Jeremiah asked. "Some big high-rise mansion?"

"A bakery."

Jeremiah blinked at this. "Seriously?"

"He makes a very good cannoli, and I enjoy cannolis," said Frank. "I say we enter his shop, order a couple dozen, and when he serves them, personally, we'll remark about how rude some of his associates were to some of our friends."

"How well do you know him?" Jeremiah asked.

"He's tried to kill me on a couple of occasions," said Frank. "Mainly by getting someone else to do the job."

"What does he look like?" Jeremiah asked.

"He's 66 years old, so something like a grandfather, with Italian threads," said Frank. "That being said, do not insult his mother. I heard he once had someone given the cement shoes treatment, for calling her an ugly old hag. Insult his cooking, and his lifestyle, all you want, but never talk bad about his mother."

"Is that true?"

"He's never told me for certain."

"Does he know what you are?"

"He suspects something, but he's not sure what it is I am."
Jeremiah thought for a moment. "Why would I insult his mother?"

Frank shrugged. "I don't know WHY you would do it. Just don't do it."

"I don't even know his mother."

"Yeah, well that doesn't stop some guys from insulting other guys' mothers."

Jeremiah shook his head side to side. "It's just strange all this emphasis on mothers and not insulting them."
Margaret came in with an x-ray machine "What do you think? Not bad eh?" Terrance says "All that recycled from robots? I'm impressed." Just then the threesome heard voices from outside. "We have company." Ms, Brownhoof says, Terrance peaked out a window and saw men in suits and speaking in an Italian accent. "Better lock the door, I don't like these guys one bit." Ms. Brownhoof says "First Ninjas now a Mafia. What next?"
"We'll tell them that we are closed for the next few weeks, unless they have an emergency," said Terrance. "If they don't behave, well, Frank and Jeremiah are nearby. Besides, we can take them, if we have to."

Meanwhile, Frank and Jeremiah were outside a bakery, wearing the suit outfit.

"This certainly doesn't look like the resident of a criminal mastermind," said Jeremiah. Then, he chuckled. "Of course, they never do."

Frank smiled. "Good. Just remain polite, and we'll get out of this alive. More importantly, leave the talking to me."

The duo entered the place, and Jeremiah felt every eye in the place all but land on them. Then again, it only took a glance for him to see that most of the well-dressed men were packing more in their bags than just baked goods, and the bulges under their suits were not cellphones.

"This isn't good," he muttered.

"I've entered during worst times," Frank muttered. Then, the werewolf spoke up. "Hey, Little Dom! Those cannolis are calling my name!"

"Ah, Frankie, so nice to see you!" called out a man, who could have been anyone's grandfather, with glasses, and salt-and-pepper hair.

"I do hope that the city has repaired the sidewalk since the last time I was in town," said Frank. "They were quite dangerous."

"Oh yes," the Mob Leader said. "In fact, an associate of mine had an accident on that sidewalk."

Frank nodded. "I heard about that - slipped on a wet spot, and hit the road, in front of an oncoming semi-tractor. A real mess."

"It was," said Dom. "So, you want some cannolis?"

"You make the best ones I've ever eaten," said Frank.

The man chuckled. "Coming right up."

"We'll be waiting with over there when you have time for us." Frank pointed at an empty table in the back. "After all, after all, I want to talk about a party some of your associates tried to throw for some friends of mine."

The man looked right at him. "I see."

Frank and Jeremiah sat at the table.

"So, that was the leader of the Gambino Family," said Jeremiah.

Frank nodded. "Do not underestimate him. He's smart enough not to kill anyone in his shop, or slip something in their food that will kill them later - follows the rules of Hospitality you understand, but after they leave, he'll get one of the others to go after them - sometimes it's just to follow them, sometimes to kill them."

"What about the associate that had an accident?" Jeremiah asked.

"He tried to kill me on the sidewalk with a knife," said Frank. "Stabbed me in the side, near one of my kidneys. I grabbed him by the neck, and shoved him in front of this semi-tractor that was passing by."

"How did you get away with that?" Jeremiah asked.

"Self-defense," said Frank. "Then again, no one was watching anyways. No one saw him stab me, no one saw me break the man's neck, and no one saw me toss him in front of the vehicle. Then again, I had more pressing matters, like seeing my son about his recently murdered wife, and trying to convince him not to take matters into his own claws."
A waiter brought the cannolis and coffee. "He will be with you shortly."

"Thank you," Frank said. "Mmmm! These look good. What's the matter? You aren't hungry?"

"No, I was just thinking about what you said. I've noticed something about you, Frank."

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

"When we're in a safe environment where nothing's going to happen to us, then you get all antsy and nervous, but when we walk into a place like this where we could get our lives snuffed out, you become calm and happy. You got some kind of death wish?"
Terrace and Ms. Brownhoof peaked out from the window as one of the mobsters brought out a man, stuck in a pail full of cement. "Let me out of this!" The man says a man wearing a white suit says "Afraid not, you've seen too much and we can't have any witnesses. A little old fashioned, but the old sleeping with the fishes is still my favorite." Ms. Brownhoof says "Who's that man?" Terrance says "I have no idea, but they're about to drown them in the Hudson River. We need to rescue him somehow." Ms. Brownhoof says "How do we do that without exposing ourselves?"
Terrance looked at the watches they'd been given to disguise themselves. "Well, these will come in handy. They hide what we look like, but still allow us to use our abilities."

Meanwhile, Frank was busy sipping on some coffee. "You want to know why I'm so calm in the face of possible danger?"

Jeremiah nodded, trying not to glance behind him.

"It's the way werewolves are, along with those of their blood," said Frank. "In the face of death, certain instincts come to the foreground - namely the instinct to protect members of the pack. There is no time for nervousness, no time for fear, or even most any other emotion. As I told you, my human-born son sacrificed himself to save his squad, his mate, and his unborn child, and my other son was willing to risk his life to avenge the murder of his mate and unborn offspring, and as for my, I took my son's place to save him from potentially being executed for endangering the rest of our society."

"Was your father that way to?" Jeremiah asked.

Frank grinned. "Actually, both him, and my grandfather, who fought during the French and Indian War, and the American Revolution, along with many of the other wars from then on, are still alive, to say nothing about many of my other various relations."

"Now, that's another thing I don't get - why all the wars? Why have you, and your family, served in virtually, every American conflict in the last two hundred and fifty-odd years?"

Frank chuckled. "Another instinct - protect your territory. In many werewolf families, you'll find most of that family serving in either the military, or on the police force, albeit in disguise, or even being vigilantes, though they have to be very careful there - if something is perceived to be a threat, a werewolf will work to remove said threat from their territory, even if they have to make it look like an accident, or a random mugging-gone-wrong."

"Alright, more than I need to know at the moment," said Jeremiah. "What about this situation?"

"Dom will not allow any harm to befall us here," said Frank. "We are perfectly safe in his shop - it has a reputation to uphold as one of the best makers of baked goods, and the killing of two Federal Agents would place a red stain on that reputation."

"Is that how it would be reported?" Jeremiah asked.

"Something along the lines of 'Two FBI Agents Murdered in Bakery. Bakery is question believed to be controlled by the Mob. Agents were killed while questioning the owner, who is suspected to be involved in the killing.' Dom's a ruthless man, but he's smart enough not to jeopardize his 'legitimate place of work', to say nothing about his bakery's five-star rating."

"So, what do you think will happen?" Jeremiah asked.

"If he doesn't like what I have to say to him, he'll send two, maybe three men after us," said Frank. "If their orders are to follow us, we'll lead them on a merry chase - visit various tourist places, before we venture into an area they can't enter without violating some truce they have with another gang, or we'll just disappear into some Safe Place, where I can use the watches to modify our looks, and we'll slip past them as they wait until some pair, who will look like us, continue the chase until they vanish into a crowd."

"But, what if their orders are to kill us?"

Frank smiled. "It's quite amazing about the number of people who are accidentally pushed in front of an on-coming vehicle, or slip and fall off of a bridge, or a seven story roof, to say nothing about the injuries they sustained during the event."

Jeremiah's face paled at this. "So, we just kill them?"

"They'll try to kill you anyways," said Frank. "But, if you feel squeamish about it, just remember the fear you saw on Timothy's face as those two came in, to say nothing about how they threatened him, and his family. Timothy's a good man - protected this country, saving many lives in the process, and he hates violence, but he's willing to protect those he cares about, even if he must resort to violence to do so. As Sun Tzu once said, 'War is an option of last resort after diplomacy has failed. However, if you must fight, be sure that you can win fist, before going to war.' Basically, if we can't get Dom to get his soldiers to leave our friends alone, and sends them after us, then we must locate a sight where the fight will be in our favor, and out of the eyesight of potential witnesses."

"Such as?"

"Tops of buildings, sewers, alleyways, places off of the beaten path, and, near places where I have friends who can help us out."

"What about weapons?"

"Your outfit will protect you from most weapons, especially since most of them will be of the small arms variety, or knives, but it's still smart to use cover, and as for our weapons, you have your standard-issue .50 d'Eagle, that 9mil Beretta, and the fact that the watch can augment your speed, reflexes, strength, or even turn you into a monster yourself, with all of their abilities."
"I guess I feel better," Jeremiah said. "To tell you the truth, I hope they DO try something. It will feel good to see some action."

"Now you're talking!" Frank said.

Dom came over and pulled out a chair and sat down. "Well, my friend, what brings you to my humble establishment? It's a long way to travel for a few cannolis, is it not?"
Both Terrance and Ms. Brownhoof are outside hiding behind a cargo crate "What's the plan?" the centauress asked, Terrance says, "Simple, distract the mobsters while I'll free their victim." Terrance holds up his wrist. "Ready?" Ms, Brownhoof holds her wrist and nods. "Ready." They both touch their watches. While the men is about to put their cemented victim onto the boat, Ms. Brownhoof disguised as a county gal says "Yoohoo, I'm new in town. Can one of you handsome gentlemen help little old me?" The two men were smitten by her beauty, they went over to her. Terrance then comes closer to the boat. "Please don't hurt me." The guy says, "Don't worry," Terrance says, "I'm here to free you." The man points to the cement filled bucket. "I hope you have something to crack this." Terrance places his hand over the bucket and with one strike breaks the cement as if was made of paper mâché. The man then gets out of the bucket "Wow, that's quite a feat of strength. Mr. Uhh..." Terrance says "Terrance. May I ask what is your name and how did you get in this mess in the first place?"
"It's Richard," the man said. "And let's just say that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"I've heard that one before," said Terrance. "Now, let's get going before they remember their job."

Meanwhile, Frank and Jeremiah were sitting in Dom's bakery, talking to the Main Man of the Mafia himself.

"Your cannolies are always worth the trip," said Frank. "Every other place I go to always has something off about them - not like the ones I had in Sicily when I was younger. These however, exactly like them."

"I learned the recipe from my father, may God bless his soul. A brave man, my father was. Fought in the war, you understand, against the Fascists that tried to occupy the island, as well as the Nazis, and assisted your American forces."

"I know," said Frank. "My father told me stories about his time in the war, including one about a Sicilian resistance fighter, who helped to shelter him when he was separated from his unit. Might of been your father that saved his life."

"Ah, but you're not here to talk about family history, now are you?" Dom asked.

"I don't know if you know this, but there seems to be a group of punks, who go around harassing the local merchants," said Frank. "One of these merchants is a friend of mine, and while I was in his shop, getting some medicine for my bad leg, these two punks came in, and messed the place up."

"Why do you tell me about this, and not the police, or something?" Dom asked, with a board expression on his face.

"Why, they had the audacity to claim to work for the families, yours specifically."

Dom cocked an eyebrow at him. "That's news to me."

"I know," said Frank. "After all, you are a friend of mine, and a friend of mine wouldn't be involved in a criminal enterprise, nor would they go around and mess with other store owners, especially ones involved in herbal medicine."

"I am a legitimate businessman after all," said Dom. "It wouldn't do me any good to get involved in that stuff."

"I'm glad you understand, and I hope that someone teaches these punks a lesson, especially since my friend has a pregnant wife," Frank said, as he stood up, picking up the remaining cannolis, and placing them in a bag. "Now, I do hope you'll forgive me, but me and my friend have an errand to run, so, see you later?"

"I'll see you later."

A moment later, Frank and Jeremiah were back in their car, driving, with Frank eating his cannolis.

"That was anticlimactic," said Jeremiah.

"I don't like to cause trouble in a Public place," said Frank.

"So, will he send men after us?"

"Depends on how Lady Luck favors us," said Frank. He then looked at Jeremiah. "Do you want one of these?"

"I'm trying to watch my diet," said Jeremiah.

"More for me then," said Frank.
Frank and Jeremiah stopped at Punja's Organic Herbal Remedy Store. Timothy was glad to hear the good news.

"I think you will not be bothered anymore," Frank said. "And my friend Jeremiah here is wondering if you have any concoction that will increase his penis size."

Jeremiah turned red. "I said no such thing!"

The men laughed.

"I'm very happy with what I have," Jeremiah said.

"But if you had more," Frank said, "maybe you could make someone else happy, too."

They laughed again but Jeremiah was wishing they would get on a different subject.
Meanwhile, Terrance lead Richard into the clinic, there Richard saw Margaret without her disguise setting up the x-Ray machine, "There you are Terrance, where's Ms. Brownhoof and why did you bring a human here?" Richard nearly fainted at the sight of Margaret's draconian features. "She's distracting some mobsters and this is Richard, my guess he witnessed a mob hit and they were about to drown him in the river, I'll see if I can get in touch with Frank."

Outside, Ms. Brownhoof says "Thanks fellas, you all are a big help." The man in white says "No problem, I'm glad to help." As Ms. Brownhoof left, the men went back to the boat "Okay Richard, how long can you hold your breath?" he then chuckles only to find the only thing he sees is a bucket with broken up cement. "Where did he go?" one of the men says. The man puts his palm over his face, "The Don isn't gonna like this."
"I am glad that you were able to help out my store," said Timothy.

"It wasn't any problem," said Frank. "Now, me and Jeremiah have a missing agent to look for. See you around."

The tiger creature smiled. "In that case, take care."
Bebop and Rocksteady were sitting in a Ninja Bar discussing their problems.

"I don't like the way we got shot down at that clinic," Bebop said.

Rocksteady sipped on his Cherry Crush. "Yeah... well... win some lose some."

"I don't have that 'easy come easy go' philosophy," Bebop said. "I'm a Ninja. When I have an assignment, I complete it."

"So who's stopping you?" asked Rocksteady.

"You've got to help me. We're a team."

"Help you do what? Make a fool of yourself?"
Terrance, Ms. Brownhoof and Margaret assured Richard that they may not be human, they won't hurt him. In turn Richard explained that the mob is the Gambino crime family. Terrance says "My father told me about them, he told me that John "Dapper Don" Gotti was the boss at the time he moved." Richard says "John Gotti died in Prison in 2002. The current leader is Domenico "Italian Dom" Cefalù and he's the reason why I was about to drown. I witnessed a murder executed by him. I hope you have more of those change watches because sense I'm marked for death by them, they'll keep looking for me until I'm dead." Margaret says "You can stay as long as you like. The doors are locked, but if they break in they'll in for a surprise." Terrance pulls out his cell phone and make a call "Hello Frank, we have someone needing protection from the Gambinos."
Frank listened to the minotaur's story. "Wait a minute, what was that last part?"

"One of us wasn't wearing their watch when we brought Richard in, and he saw them in their normal form," said Terrance. "Still, we need to hide him."

"I'd say so," said Frank. "We need to keep him in a safe place just to make sure he'll keep his mouth shut! Fake his death, and get him to Punja's Organic Herbal Remedy Store. Tell Timothy to pass him to the other members of the Community, and to keep him safe." He then hung up. "I hate it when people make stupid mistakes."

"What happened?" Jeremiah asked.

"Someone has to enter our version of Witness Protection," said Frank. "We fake their death, and have them hide in our community, until the time is right, and if we're sure they'll keep their mouth shut."

"How long is that?" Jeremiah asked.

"At least five years, if not longer," said Frank. "In some cases, they are never released."

"Such as?"

"The Titanic sinking in 1912," said Frank. "Papers from the time would tell you that out of the two thousand two hundred on board, only seven hundred were saved, and the rest drowned. The truth is, there were less than four hundred casualties. The local mermaids saved the remaining thousand or so, and took them to their community, in underwater domed cities. Of course, what with these people having been declared dead, it wasn't practical to return them to their previous homes. So, they and their descendants remain in those underwater cities."

"Are you in touch with them?" Jeremiah asked.

"Most every Community has the other Communities' phone number, as it were."
"I'd like to go there sometime," said Jeremiah.

"And why is that?" asked Frank.

"I've heard stories about mermaids. They're supposed to be pretty sexy."

"Ha!" Frank said. "Just stories. Do you like the smell of fish? Does the feel of fish slime appeal to you? What about legs covered with scales? And not two legs, mind you, just one big scaly leg."

"You make it sound pretty bad," Jeremiah said. "What about the human part of a mermaid's body? They don't even wear a top!"

"You're like a little boy with a comic book, aren't you? Have you seen human skin after it's soaked in water for 12 hours? A wrinkly unattractive mess. Mermaids have stringy hair on their head that smells like salt, chlorine, and dying sea animals. No makeup, of course. It all washes off. And speaking of hair, mermaids don't shave their pits."

"Alright! Alright!" Jeremiah said. "You have totally ruined my mermaid fantasies. Thank you very much."

Frank chuckled. "You're welcome."
Frank then grinned. "Of course, that mostly applies to Saltwater Mermaids - they can't shave, or they might cut themselves, and blood attracts sharks, which isn't good. Freshwater mermaids on the other hand, they do shave those areas, and they tend to be a lot smoother to. Saltwater mermaid scales are like a shark's, similar to sandpaper. The scales of Freshwater mermaids are more like those on a trout, smooth like glass. Of course, to a stranded sailor, who hasn't seen a woman for a while, they aren't going to care that much."

"What about stories where they drown sailors?" Jeremiah asked.

"Mermaids don't do that, normally," said Frank. "The one case that I know that did happen for certain involved a rogue, and she was caught, and cut by ten knives, and left to die in a shark feeding frenzy."

"Seriously?" Jeremiah asked. "They cut her and left her to be eaten by sharks?"

"Endangering the Society is very serious," said Frank. "Some things can be explained as Hoaxes, or even as accidents. But, there are some things that aren't allowed, like killing someone who isn't aware of our Society, unless it's to defend another. That's part of the reason I'm not bothering to arrest Timothy - he killed to protect another, whom he has probably sworn to secrecy, one way or another. If he had killed just to kill, I would personally put a bullet in his head."

"But, what about your case?" Jeremiah asked.

"Well, that was a Revenge Killing, of sorts," said Frank. "Not allowed, but given that he'd seen my son, and had killed my daughter-in-law, and unborn grandson, it was also a killing of Necessity."

"So, how does that work out as?" Jeremiah asked.

"First-Degree Voluntary Manslaughter comes close to it," said Frank. "I didn't want to kill him, but I had to, and, at the same time, I wanted to kill him."

"You didn't want to kill him, but yet you wanted to kill him?" asked Jeremiah.

"I don't like killing, but I wanted to make sure that he was punished for what he did," said Frank. "You couldn't touch him then, but I could."

"What about now?" Jeremiah asked. "Can we go after Ambassadors and their relatives?"

Frank grinned. "With the right evidence, you can make them disappear, and make it look like they drove off a cliff, and burned in the car, or some such thing. After all, people vanish all the time."
Jeremiah yawned and stretched. "Frank, what have we got left on our to-do list for here in New York?"

"Are you in a hurry to get back to Area 51?" Frank asked.

"Not really. I just like to know what's going down, whether I need to watch my back, and if we'll be here long enough to have a suit made."

"A suit made!"

"Yeah, I never had a custom-made suit before and I noticed a tailor shop with a reasonable price."
Back at the clinic, Richard asks "So what's going to happen to me?" Terrance says "You're going to be on Witness Protection." Richard "I doubt the Gambinos are smart enough to hack into files, even if I was in Witness Protection, I'll be dead by weeks end." Terrance says "Are you familiar with the film Eraser?"
"What are you talking about?" Richard asked.

"We swap your records with a dead homeless man who looks a lot like you, place their body in your home, and torch the place," said Terrance. "Make it look like an accident, or murder. That's how we can do it. We have a few other methods, but the result is basically the same - Missing, Presumed Dead."

Beck with Frank and Jeremiah, Frank was laughing. "The suits made here might seem nice, but the ones we wear are more practical. You could be hit by a tank round, and aside from some bruises, you'd be fine. Average rich-guy suit, wouldn't stop a pen knife, let alone something bigger."

"Still, I want something custom made," said Jeremiah.

"Wait until we get back to Area 51, and I'll take you to that clothing shop we visited before we came here."

"So, how do you think that the others are doing here?"

Frank did some checking on his computer. "Looks like they are doing fine, all of them. One Mutant mouse, one kitsune and her husband, one shapeshifting sex maniac, plus one werewolf, another human, as well as most everyone else in the area, unless they don't have the chip in them."

"So, does the computer tell you what they are doing?" Jeremiah asked.

"Not a thing, and I don't feel like bothering any of them."
"But what are we going to do?" asked Jeremiah. "Just joyride around New York eating pizza and cannolis and commenting on how shapely women's butts are?"

"You got a problem with that?" Frank said.

"I know it seems strange to you, Frank, but I got such a work ethic in me that it makes me nervous not to have something serious planned on my agenda. Couldn't we maybe bump off a mob boss or something?"
Amanda arrives at the Clinic, Terrance says "Richard, this is Amanda Xu, she'll help you with the rest." Amanda says "Terrance, the way freed Richard here, it's almost like your part of the force, we could use a little more muscle." She turns to Richard, "Don't worry sir, we'll assure you once we're done, The Gambinos won't bother you ever again."
"Are you sure about that?" Richard asked.

"No one enters our Communities without permission," said Amanda.
"If I could only be sure," Richard said.

"Well, nothing in this life is 100% guaranteed, but I can tell you this: We have never lost anyone yet."

"So I will be the first?"

Amanda laughed. "Richard, we're going to have to work real hard on your negative attitude."
Amanda says "This is how it's all going to work out, first we find a dead homeless person who resembles you, but first." She takes out smartphone and takes a picture of Richard. He asks "What was that for?" Amanda says "So my fellow officer can see what you look like." She sends the image to Frank. "Okay, done." Amanda says, "What this works we'll have your homeless imposter at your house, by the way, what do you cook with? Gas or electricity?" Richard says "Gas." Amanda says "Ahh, this will work. Think of it, we're going to make it look like you died in a gas explosion. It'll make the news and the Gambinos will see that broadcast. While you are safe in protected Custody."
Eventually, Frank parked the car he and Jeremiah were in.

"So, what are we doing out here?" Jeremiah asked.

"Trying to locate one Finny J. Leonard, in case you forgot," said Frank.

"Oh, right, the missing black cat agent," said Jeremiah. "You think he's around here?"

"Most likely," said Frank. "Store over there has been robbed at least five times over the last three weeks - alarms disabled, food, mostly meat, especially fish, has been taken, cash on the check-out counter, enough to cover stolen items, along with a list of stolen items, with traces of cat hair found at the scene, and the alarms were then repaired. Most of the time, Thefts for Survival are committed at different stores - the thief will usually wait at least three months before hitting the same store they've previously robbed. This store here, only one around these parts for five miles. There isn't a Community or Safehouse around for ten miles. That and there's a bunch of Abandoned/Condemned buildings a few blocks from here."

"So, all that adds up to Finny being around here?" Jeremiah asked.

Frank nodded.

"So, why doesn't he just steal a car to get to a safe place?" Jeremiah asked.

"Because most cars these days have tracking chips in them, meaning that Finny would have to deal with the NYPD, and he'd have to ditch the car before he got to the Community," said Frank. "That and the fact that a six-foot tall cat driving a car isn't exactly subtle, even for New York City."

Frank then rolled down the windows. "We'll wait right here."

"What's with the windows?" Jeremiah asked.

"One, it's going to be a hot day," said Frank. "Two, the breeze will carry our scents, and Finny knows my scent. He'll know that help is here, and we can then take him to to Dr. Terrance, who will then give him his new chip."

"I guess that makes sense," said Jeremiah.
Frank answered a call on his cell. "What? Oh, yeah. OK, we'll keep a lookout for somebody like that."

Frank showed Jeremiah the pic on his cellphone. "See that face? If we see a dead man with that face we are to notify Amanda immediately."

"Geez!" Jeremiah said. "Does she think we are seeing dead guys every hour or two?"

After a while, Jeremiah fell asleep. It was a hot day.

Frank shook him awake. "Wake up! I think something is about to happen."
Amanda hung up the phone "Ok, done. Now let's go to your place and collect your essentials and..." Then Amanda's cell phone rang "Excuse me," She says as she answers the phone. "Hello? Yeah, he's with me Chief and we are about to head to his place. What? How many? Yeah, I'll tell them and thanks for the webcam photo." As she hung up, her ears drooped "It appears that we have a problem." She shows the image on her phone to Richard showing about a dozen men and 3 Black 2013 Rolls-Royce Wraiths and one White Cadillac 1978 Eldorado Biarritz, all in front of a house in Queens. Richard says "Those are the Don's enforcers, only they can drive cars like that. My guess that Eldorado is my tomb." Amanda says "Then we'll make sure that doesn't happen, leave everything to me."
"What do you mean?" Richard asked.

"If you knew anything about kitsunes, you'd know just how seductive we can be," said Amanda.

Meanwhile, Jeremiah felt something shaking the car, and heard a door open. "What in the world?"

"Frank, turn this car on, and get moving," said a voice.

"Pop the seat, and get in the back back," Frank said, as he adjusted the rearview mirror, revealing a black cat in a dirty, and torn, business suit.

"What do you think I'm doing, muttface?" the cat asked. "Snacking on sardines?" The cat pressed a button, causing the seat to fall, and crawled in.

"Jeremiah, fix the back seat."

Jeremiah got out, and went to the back, where he saw the cat watching him. "Um, Jeremiah."

"Lenny," said the cat. "Now close the seat, and get back up there."

Jeremiah closed the seat, and got back up front. "He looks scared."

"So would you if you suffered from claustrophobia and you needed to hide in the trunk of a car," said Frank. The werewolf turned the car on, and took off.
Richard felt like he was living in a dream, a nightmare. If only he had never seen that murder. But he did see it and now his life was on the line and he had to trust these strange people who seemed to be helping him avoid getting whacked. And yet... there was still a tiny part of him that said don't believe it! Don't trust anyone! Run! Run, Richard, run!
Richard remembers the day he witnessed the murder, he was rushing home and he was in the same neighborhood, Frank and Jeramiah were when they visited the Don's Bakery. As he walked passed the bakery he noticed some commotion inside. The Don was conducting business with one of his customers, except the customer turns out to be one of the Don's enemies and he ordered his men to kill him and he witnessed it as he looked through the window. One of the men saw him and he ran right into the subway station, with luck, he made it to his train as it was about to leave. The next day he received visitors and was soon taken to Harlem and the docks. Now he doesn't know who else to trust.
Amanda shook him out of his revere. "Hey, you can trust us to keep you safe. We have never lost anyone we've put into our program."
Richard tried to smile but it didn't come out too well.

Amanda thought to herself: "This poor guy is coming unraveled. I hope he doesn't do anything stupid."
Back at the Clinic, Frank and Jeremiah watched as Terrance worked on Lenny, giving him a new chip for his watch. Like a jeweler he carefully worked on the circuitry of his wrist piece, in no time. The watch was fixed and give it to Lenny, "Here you go, try to be careful this time." Lenny then strapped on the watch and pressed the faceplate, his appearance changed resembling a black man with an athletic build and dressed like a basketball player. "Finally, I don't need to hide my appearance anymore." Frank says "I heard you saved someone the other day Terrance." Terrance says "I had to, he was about to drown in the bay, when three men had him up to his ankles in cement." Jeramiah then got a text, "Uh, Frank? Amanda needs help."
"I guess we'd better help her out," said Frank. "We need to get our witness hidden, and kept quiet."
Amanda met them at the door when they arrived. "I had to give Richard a sedative. He's a nervous wreck."

"Understandable," Frank said. "People want to kill him."

"But I don't want him making some stupid mistake just because his nerves are shot. He might do anything."
Lenny says "At least he didn't steal like me, but now I would like to help." Frank says "How would you help." Lenny says "By posing as Richard here, I can distract those men." Amanda says "I don't know, it sounds risky, If they catch up with you, you're dead." Lenny says "I'm quick on my feet, and I can change appearances once I'm out of their sights."
"Alright," said Frank. "You've got a two minute head-start, and then we'll move."
Lenny's little ploy worked all too well. The men were soon right on his tail giving him no chance to get out of their sight and change his appearance. He wondered what the repercussions would be if he changed where they could see it. But they might still stay after him even so.
Lenny soon turned into an alley but luck will have it, a garbage truck backed into it before his pursuers caught up the driver waited patiently at the wheel while his partner picked did his weekly pick up, Lenny waited until he dumped the trash into the back of the truck then he changed is appearance to look like one of New York's homeless with a long flowing beard like Billy Gibbon's of ZZ Top and messy hair, both white and ragged clothes to complete the disguise. As the truck left the men came in finding the homeless disguised Lenny, "I thought I saw him come in here." One said, they all looked around and saw the alleyway had no other exit and no fire escapes. "He must've went around the truck." One of the others says "Come on." They all left the alley.
Frank chuckled as he watched. "And thus, those guys are off on a wild goose chase." He then looked at Richard. "Now, to hide you."

Sometime later, Frank, Jeremiah, Richard, and Amanda were at what looked to be an abandoned house.

"This is your idea of a safe house?" Richard asked. "It's condemned!"

"Who do you think condemned it?" Frank asked, as he knocked on the door.

"Who sent you?" a voice asked.

"Uncle Sam."

The door opened. "Enter."
"Uncle Sam?" Richard said. "I could think of a better password."

"You're welcome to change it," Frank said. "I get the impression you don't think we know what we are doing."

"Uh... yeah! I have no confidence I will last a week in your care. You guys are just too clumsy and incompetent."

Frank chuckled. "Care to place a little bet on how long you will survive?"

"And now you're gambling with my life! Unbelievable!"
The garbage truck left the alley, Lenny got up and he tripped over someone and it was Another homeless person, "Sorry pal." There was no response, at first he thought he was dead asleep, but after a pulse check, he's just completely dead. He also noticed that except for the ragged clothing and messy hair. He looks like Richard so he has an idea, "I hope Frank and the others are back at that house."
"That password you have," Richard said, still continuing his rant. "Is so stupid, a child could"-

The door slammed behind him.

"The password is a decoy," said the voice of the person behind them. "The true code is your scent. Frank Greyfur, Amanda Xu, you are recognized. Do you vouch for these others?"

Frank placed his hand on Jeremiah's shoulder. "Jeremiah Johnson is a new recruit to the organization, and this is his first time in a Community. He's a good man, and I personally vouch for him."

"And the other?"

"He is in need of protection," said Frank. "We need to keep him hidden until it's safe for him to reveal what he knows about a certain crime boss."

"Turn around."

Jeremiah turned his head, and found himself looking at a snake-like creature.

The creature looked at him. "Utter a single word about us before the right time, and you'll beg for Death to take you." The creature looked at Richard. "As for you, as our guest, you are entitled to our protection, and aid. Leave without permission though, and your body will never be found." The creature then looked at Frank. "A message from your father; he's coming to visit you and your family. He plans to stay until the baby is born."

"Good to know," said Frank. "See you around, Silis."

Frank, Amanda, and Jeremiah then left the building.

"What did Silis mean by, 'your body will never be found'?" Jeremiah asked.

"Silis is a naga, and nagas take after snakes, in many aspects," said Frank.

"What?"

"Nagas eat in a manner similar to snakes," said Amanda. "They also have large appetites."

Jeremiah gulped. "Would he really do that?"

"It's a bluff, mostly," said Frank. "The threat, however, should keep Richard from leaving."

"But, there's no way that you could hide a community in that house," said Jeremiah.

"No, but it connects to an abandoned subway terminal, and plenty of abandoned tracks," said Frank. "It's something we've adapted to - when people move out, we move in." Frank then put a hand to his headpiece. "Good news, just found a dead guy to stand in for Richard. All we have to do is dress him up, transfer a few records, and make it look like a mugging. After that, back to Area 51."
"Alright!" Jeremiah said.

Frank stared at him. "Are you serious? You prefer Area 51 to the joys of New York?"

"What joy? I'm spending the whole time here worried about getting killed! At least I feel safe at Area 51."
As Frank, Jeramiah and Amanda came back to Richard's house, they find Lenny siphoning fuel from the gas tanks of the mobster cars. "Lenny!" Frank says, "What are you doing?" Lenny says "Teaching the Don's enforcers a lesson." Jeramiah and Amanda noticed the body by the Cadillac. "Is that who I think it is?" Lenny says "Yeah, isn't he a striking resemblance to Richard? Found him after ditching the enforcers."
"Okay," said Frank. "Let's get this done, and then we can finish the rest of the task, which somehow fell upon us."
They dressed the dead guy in appropriate clothes and tried to put him in a positon to make it look like a mugging.

"You let him get stiff!" Amanda complained. "That doesn't look natural at all."

Lenny shrugged. "How natural can you look when you're dead?"

"You know what I mean! Look how his arm is sticking up. You don't die and then your arm sticks up."

"Alright, alright, we can do a better job of posing him, I guess."
Frank, Amanda and Lenny positions the corpse as desired and sat him on a chair in the front yard making it looks like he's sleeping. Jeremaiah looked at the cars, "Lenny, I see you siphoned the gas from the other cars," He points to the Cadillac, "But you didn't touch this." Lenny says "Ahh, that's the surprise. Look underneath." Jeremiah did and saw a bomb position directly under the driver's seat and the trigger under the left front wheel "Is that an IED?" Lenny nods "And when the mobster drives off, BOOM. For added measure with the cars parked so close together, they will be blown up too."
"A tad much," Frank said, as he carefully removed the IED, and altered some of the connections.

"So, what's your plan?" Lenny asked.

"Make it look like a botched attempt, or at least an obvious attempt, that another Family tried to do, and thus get them to fight between themselves."

"So, no killing?"

"We didn't get Authorization to Assassinate anyone," said Frank. "This sends a message without killing anyone."
"Have they gone soft at headquarters?" Lenny asked.

"What do you mean?" Frank said.

"All this no authorization to kill stuff. I remember when we were bumping somebody off every month or so."

"Those were different times," Frank said. "We are all a little older and wiser now."

"Hmph!" snorted Lenny. "I think I'd rather be young and foolish. It was a lot more exciting."

Meanwhile, Terrance, Ms. Brownhoof and Margaret have packed up and putting their equipment in a waiting helicopter "Oh well, back to Monster City." Margaret says, with Mr. Brownhoof saying, "I guess I good things must come to an end. I wonder how Frank and the rest are faring with that Richard guy?"
Frank looked at Lenny. "Listen, if you want to be in a Combat Zone, request a transfer. I'm sure that something could be arranged, especially if you want to go to the Middle East."

"I'll think about it," the cat creature said.

"Alright," Frank said. "Amanda, enjoy your vacation. Keep an eye on Beulah and Chaos from time to time. Jeremiah, time for us to get ready to head back to Area 51. We've still got Tourist Season to deal with for the next few months."

Amanda grinned. "I can't believe I'm missing out on all that fun."

"Yeah right," said Frank. "At least you'll get plenty of time with Henry, and get all of your hormones settled down, at least until they start acting up again over something else."

Amanda blushed at this. "Don't worry, we'll be careful when it comes to that."

Frank chuckled. "Having one might settle you down."

They then left the building.
On the airplane headed back to Area 51 Jeremiah tried to sleep, but sleep would not come. He looked at Frank snoozing in his seat and wished he was lucky enough to enter slumberland also.

What a crazy whirl of events his life had become. He resolved not to be surprised by anything when he got back to Area 51. Expect the unexpected, he told himself. You have to get your nerves relaxed. Otherwise, you're never going to get any sleep.
When the plane landed at Area 51, Richard is escorted before a council of generals, and is greeted by the lead general. "Hello Richard, welcome to Area 51. I am General Knox as for this moment on, this is your new home. Thanks to Frank and Jeremiah, you have been declared dead so the Gambino family won't be bothering you here." Richard says "You mean, I'll be in a top secret base where aliens are studied?"
(Hertz, Richard was left with another Community for his safety. Don't worry, I'll make it work.)

Jeremiah looked over, and saw Richard being met by the generals. "Wait, wasn't he left with that snake-guy-thing?"

"He must of stepped on someone's toes already," Frank muttered. "A mage sent him here, I can smell the magic on him."

"Why would they send him here?" Jeremiah asked.

"Less likely for him to escape successfully, especially after we chip him. Besides, given that we are over eighty miles from Las Vegas, and surrounded by mostly desert, it's practically suicidal to leave without a vehicle, and we always check on them."

"I noticed," said Jeremiah.

"You're the one who left their room," said Frank. "If you just listened to instructions, and hadn't deviated from your route to the bathroom, we wouldn't be having this conversation."

"So, what are they going to do with him?" Jeremiah asked.

Frank looked over at Richard. "Same thing we did with you - find him a job similar to his old one, and try to integrate him into the Community." The werewolf chuckled. "That being said, he needs to learn that most aliens here are working on their tans, as it were, and not being cut up on a table, as it were."

"By that, I take you're talking about aliens being on vacation, and not being studied," said Jeremiah.

Frank nodded. "Of course, if you want to take the rest of the day off to get your body adjusted to the time change, I can understand that, although it was maybe a few days at most that were were in New York City."
"It seemed like a month," Jeremiah said. "New York City is an exciting place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there."

"Gee, where have I heard that before?" Frank said.

"Well, I'm out of here. Never miss a chance to take the rest of the day off I always say."

"See you later," said Frank, waving a hand and not bothering to look up.

When Jeremiah got to his apartment, he opened all the windows to air it out. Then he filled a tub with hot water, put some jazz on the sound system, and settled down to soak his cares away."
Back at his clinic, it was clockwork for Terrance and his team, but he got a surprise when General Knox came in with Richard. "Terrance, meet the newest resident to Monster City. Give him a full physical check-up." Terrance says "Yes General, but I thought Richard was supposed to be an another community after his reported death. How did he end up here?"
"He stepped on a few peoples' toes, and turned of to be an even bigger wise ass than initial reports suggested," the general said. "The Head Mage in that Community had him sent here, mainly to prevent the denizens from choking him to death every damn time he opened his mouth. I'm surprised he's survived this long."

"I see," said Terrance, as he grabbed some rubber gloves, and put them on. "First things first."
Richard saw the rubber gloves and said, "Whoa! Wait! What are the gloves for?"

"I don't want to get my hands dirty," Terrance said. "Now let's give you a good, thorough check up."

General Knox left the room. He felt he had seen way too many physical check ups already.


In his apartment Jeremiah woke up in a cold bath tub and jumped out, teeth chattering, and rubbed himself dry with the towel. "That's all I need," he said. "Give myself a cold on the first day back. I better brew a pot of hot tea."
Jeremiah makes himself some chamomile tea, as he sipped it, he felt warmer already "Ahh, much better, now to make myself breakfast and wait for Frank so we can get our daily patrol."

At the same time, Richard got up looking at the bottle of Rosuvastatin Terrance prescribed for him. He remembers the result of his physical the day before.

"You have passed the examination but your cholesterol is a bit high, you need to stay away from salty foods," Terrance says as he hands him the bottle, "This will help you lower it. Take it once a day, I recommend in the morning before breakfast. You'll be getting a phone call in the morning on what your job will be here in Monster City, and what the General told me, careful on what you say around here. Most of the monsters here can anger easily and they can be hostile."
Jeremiah heard the knock on the door. "Come in."

Frank entered the room. "Tub turn cold on you?"

Jeremiah chuckled nervously. "Yeah."

"Happens when you spend an hour, or more, in it."

"How do you know I was in the tub?" Jeremiah asked.

Frank tapped his nose. "The scent of soap."
"It must be terrible for you," Jeremiah said, "having to smell so many things. I imagine some of them are kind of unpleasant."

"I'm used to it," Frank said. "I don't use smelling for sniffing flowers. It's another sense like vision. We have to look at unpleasant things, don't we? Smelling is the same."

"I'm not trying to make an argument out of it," Jeremiah said. "What's up? Do we have a new assignment?"
Frank says "Yes, today is Richard's first day of work. He's been assigned to be..."
"A worker of the Convenience Store, stocking shelves and the like."

"Funny, I thought that he was higher up on the corporate food chain, with the way he was acting," said Jeremiah

"Best to keep him out of such things until we know he can be trusted to play well with others," said Frank.

"So, we're just going to drop him off, right?" Jeremiah asked.

"Yep, and after that, go on patrol, and keep the alien tourists in line," Frank said.
Jeremiah and Frank were cruising the city in their patrol car when the radio squawked: Three-headed dog causing a disturbance at a liquor store. Address is 14444 Main Street.

Frank grabbed the microphone. "Car seventeen. We're near there. We'll take it."

Frank turned on the siren and stepped on the gas. A minute later they slid to a stop in the parking lot of AAA Liquors.

"I know the owner," Frank said. "Nice old guy named Morley Sudd."
As they went inside, they saw the 3-headed dog looking very angry "Dr. Hellfire!" Frank says "You worked for Terrance Longhorn, why are you acting so crazy here?"
The dog turned and growled at them.

Frank sniffed the air. "Just as I suspected; too much to drink."
"Cuff him, Jeremiah," Frank said.

Jeremiah did a double take. "Huh? Why me? It's bad enough getting bit once by a dog. Who wants to get bit in triplicate?"

"I'm not going to bite you," said Dr. Hellfire. "I hate the taste of human blood. What I like is a good Kentucky bourbon."

"In that case..." Jeremiah said.

"Is it really necessary to cuff me, Frank?" asked the dog. "Aren't you even going to try to find out what the situation is first? What makes you think I'm the one causing the problem and not this pig-faced slob of a liquor store clerk?"

"Hey!" said the clerk. "I'm not a slob."

Jeremaih asks "What seems to be the problem?" Dr. Hellfire's center head says "The clerk is charging me too much for the Bourbon." The clerk who's an Orc says "But sir, $135.00 is the market price for Kentucky Bourbon, I can't change the price." Frank says "Is that the problem?"
"One moment," said Frank. "Is that the price for a barrel, or a bottle of the stuff?"

"Barrel, aged for four years," said the clerk.

Frank chuckled. "Hellfire, are you throwing a party?"

"Yeah, my wife's going to have a baby any week now. Need something to celebrate with."

Frank nodded in understanding. "I know the feeling - my one wife is due in a few months."
"I've only got $125.00 on me," Hellfire said. "I promised that clerk I would bring him the other $10.00 tomorrow but he refused."

"We don't take promises for payment here," said the clerk. "Either you have the money or you don't. It's just that simple."

"But I've been buying my whiskey here for years!"

"Hold it," Frank said, "Jeremiah and I can solve this little problem. Jeremiah, do you have a ten dollar bill in that fat wallet of yours?"

Jeremiah looked. "Sure do!"

"Well, give it to this clerk, please, and everyone will be happy."

Later, when Frank and Jeremiah were back in their patrol car resuming their cruising, Jeremiah asked Frank, "Why didn't you ask me for $5.00 and take the other $5.00 from YOUR wallet?"

Frank looked at him. "Why make it so complicated? Keep life simple and you reduce stress."

"So you reduced your stress?"

"I did."

"What about my stress?" asked Jeremiah.

"Right now you are trying to make your life more complicated by arguing over money. Simplify! Simplify. Then you will find inner peace."

"Thanks for the advice."

"You're welcome," Frank said.
Just then, Dispatch called in "Attention all cars, 10-40 over at the Monster City General Store." Frank says "Great, that's the code for a fight in progress." Jeremiah says "Isn't that the store Richard is working at?"
"Yeah, that would be the place," said Frank. "If he's on the run, he's not going to make it far before the chip kicks in."

"Where will he run to?" Jeremiah asked.

"Same place they all end up, the nearest toilet," Frank said. "And for that, we all blame the damn designer."

"Really?" Jeremiah asked.

"I've mentioned to you what the chip does to those on the Restricted List that try to get away from here - males feel like they need to take a sit down, and females feel like they need to get off, if you understand what I'm saying."

Jeremiah groaned at this. "Tell me he's dead and buried, and his name, so I can go and piss on his grave."

"Sure, just use the bathroom in the cemetery," Frank said. The werewolf looked at the human and grinned. "The bastard had a funny sense of humor, and requested he'd be buried under it. Seems he'd knew that everyone that tried to escape would want to piss on his grave, so he made it easy for them to do so."

"Sounds like a strange one."

"Odder than most people here," said Frank. "Ever deal with people who have a Vore Fetish? This guy made them seem normal by comparison."

"What the hell is Vore?" Jeremiah asked.

"Corruption of the Latin word for devour, vorare," Frank said. "Basically, these people get off on, obviously fictitious, images, and stories, of people, or people-like things, getting eaten, especially whole and alive."

"Sounds illegal," said Jeremiah.

"You'd be charged with murder, or something like that, and risk execution for doing so, unless there was a damn good reason for it," said Frank.

"So, why'd you bring it up?" Jeremiah asked.

"Every so often, when the base gets new personnel, one, or more, of the people there happen to have said fetish," said Frank. "Usually they keep it to sites, like DeviantArt, Writing.com, Eka's Portal, and various others, but every so often, you get a man or a woman who wonders what it would be like, and there's plenty of monsters and aliens that could do it for real."

"What do you do?" Jeremiah asked.

"Let's just say that there's a few people who help them out with that, both in making sure that the person would be safe, and in locating a predator that's willing to let the person go through their intestinal tract," Frank said.

"Still sounds strange," Jeremiah said. "Who'd want to go through all that?"

"You'd be surprised," said Frank.

"Okay, let's change the subject," said Jeremiah. "Weren't we Unit 1 a few days ago, and now we're Car 17? What's up with that?"

"Problem with the fuel line on the other car," said Frank. "I'm not in the mood for some dragon, demon, fire giant, or anything else that deals with fire, turning it into a ball of flames, especially with me in it. If you don't have the gloves, or the helmet, the uniform isn't going to protect your head and hands. That and I don't like the smell of burnt fur."
When they got to Monster General Store they could see a crowd had formed outside of it, a crowd of loud, jeering people. Apparently they were trying to get in but the doorway was blocked.

"This looks bigger than I expected," Frank said. "Let's go see what's happening."

The crowd parted for them, but the door was locked. Frank rapped on it. "Open up! This is the police!"

Jeremiah turned to one of the crowd members. "What happened?"
One of the patrons(a banshee) says "It's the harpie sisters, they seem don't like the new human employee hired. Now they're protesting with the clerk."
"Harpies?" Jeremiah asked.

"Think of Angels with bird talons, feathers, beaks, and terrible singing voices," said Frank.

"So, what do we do?" Jeremiah asked. "We can't get in."

"Not a problem," Frank said. "Got the Universal Key right here."

Thirty seconds later, the door had been removed.

"I've never seen anyone do that before, at least, not like that," Jeremiah said. "Hell, I'm surprised you didn't kick it down."

"Pulling door pins is easy, especially with a good set of claws," Frank said. "As for kicking doors down, I didn't feel like buying them a new one."
They found the clerk cowering behind his counter while the two harpie sisters, Hortense and Abilene, screeched and cawed at him. Richard was nowhere to be seen.

"Thank the stars you've come, officer," said Abilene. "This no-good clerk has been so rude to us."

"Me?" said the clerk. "I'm the one who has to hide under the counter to escape from you two."

"Oh no you don't!" said Abilene. "Don't even think about trying to paint us as the bad guys in this picture."

"Alright, settle down everybody," Frank said. "Where's Richard?"
The clerk says "In the stockroom doing his job, good thing too. I don't want to imagine if what happens if these two got their talons on him." Hortense began to fly towards the back of the store, "Humans like him don't belong around here."
"If you two don't stop your squawking, and pestering of the clerk, or the other employees, I'll suggest to the judge that you get your wings clipped," Frank said. " You know very well what that means for you."

"What does it mean?" Jeremiah asked quietly.

"They'd be limited to walking, like you and me, only they aren't exactly used to that," Frank muttered. "They prefer flying over walking."
Frank put his hands on his hips and glared at Hortense and Abilene. "I've warned you two before about your prejudices getting you in trouble. Area 51 is no place for bigots. We've got all types here and we all have to live together peacefully. I'm deadly serious about clipping your wings. Now I'll ask you: Are you going to leave Richard in peace and let him do his job?"

Hortense and Abilene looked at each other. "I guess so," Abilene said. "Seems like you don't give us much choice."

"Doesn't mean we like it," grumbled Hortense as they left the store.

"They remind me of a couple of my aunts," Jeremiah said.
Frank says "Oh? And how is that so?" Jeremiah says "They are a couple of racists. They don't like what we call now African Americans. If things ran their way, the United States will still be Segregated."
"Dealt with them types before," said Frank. "About all you can do is pay a bunch of kids twenty bucks a piece, give them a dozen rolls of toilet paper, with a thousands sheets on each roll, and have them T. P. the person's house."

"Why's that?" Jeremiah asked.

"Even the worst racist these days isn't going to do anything to a child, beyond calling the kid's parents," said Frank. "After all, if they lay one hand on a kid, that kid's parents would come after them."
"I have a sudden craving for a donut," Jeremiah said.

Frank looked at him. "Krispy Kreme or Dunkin D?"

"Your choice," Jeremiah said. "Either one sounds good. I'm gonna get lemon-filled. Ever have a strong desire for something lemony?"

"Why don't you just buy a lemon?" Frank said.

"I agree that's lemony, but I'll stick to my donut plan."

After work, Terrance went to the Monster City General Store the clerk says "Ahh, Dr. Longhorn. Your father's birthday present has arrived." He puts a huge jar of honey on the counter, "Fresh from the Bee people." Terrance says "Yes, I remember him helping Queen Nectar when I was a calf, sense then he always gets the first batch on his birthday." The clerk says "You missed the excitement earlier, Hortense and Abilene was here protesting on Richard's presence here. Frank threatened to clip their wings if they even touch him." Terrence sighed "Those two harpies always make a big deal over humans. There's no room for bigotry in this city. I better get going, I'm going to visit my father and wish him a happy birthday." He pays the clerk and takes the jar of honey.
Meanwhile, Frank and Jeremiah had gotten their donuts, and, much to the human's surprise, the werewolf was eating a chocolate-filling one.

"Don't canines get allergic when they eat chocolate?" he asked.

"A piece of advice," Frank said. "Don't compare a werewolf to a dog, or even a regular wolf. Races that lived alongside humans adapted to eat the sort of things that humans eat. Trust me when I tell you that there are dragons who eat cabbage, and like it."

"Dragons who eat cabbage?" Jeremiah asked.

"Especially if it's stuffed with pork or beef." Frank licked his lips. "I like it myself, along with haggis."

"You eat haggis?" Jeremiah asked.

"What's not to love about sheep organs stuffed inside of the stomach of the very creature itself? It has everything a werewolf needs - protein, iron, and all other goodness," Frank said. "I'll have to get my father to make you some when he arrives, that or my grandfather - his is better."

"Grandfather?"

"He learned how to make it back in the Old Country of Scotland when he was a kid," Frank said. "Then, he came here, met my grandmother, had my father, who married an Irish woman."
"To me Scottish and Irish are pretty much the same thing," Jeremiah said.

"Don't let my grandfather hear you say that. He'll spend an hour explaining the differences to you."

The radio interrupted their conversation. All units! Be on the lookout for a white Dodge minivan! Driver is a Hyperloid Octavon in the manic phase.

"Uh oh!" Frank said. "Must have forgotten to take his meds."

"What the heck is a Hyperloid Octavon?" Jeremiah asked.

"Alien. Very alien. But they can drive a car."
As Terrance pulled up to the Monster City Nursing Home, he overhears the broadcast "That's got to be Korvar, only he can get this hyperactive. No doubt Jeremiah and Frank are taking care of this. I have to give him a call later and remind him the importance of his medication." As he got in, he was lead to his father who is currenly playing Gin Rummy with an aging sphinx. he asks, "Do you have any riddles for me Mason?" Mason sees Terrance coming in, and says "I got one, what substance comes from insects in which you also nickname your girlfriend?" Terrance father says "That's easy, honey. That reminds me where's this year's bee people first batch?" Terrance says "Right here father. Happy Birthday."
"So, just where is this car we're suppose to be looking for?" Jeremiah asked.

Suddenly, something white zoomed past them, along with three motorcycles.

"Um, did I just see three mice on those bikes?" the human asked.

"I guess they were done with their business in New York City," Frank said. "Best make sure nothing bad happens."

"Are those three vigilantes?" Jeremiah asked.

"More like they are operating out of their jurisdiction," said Frank. "They're police officers on their home planet, but ended up in Chicago when a drug smuggler shot up their ship and forced them to land in the Windy City. Thing is, they fell in love with one of the locals, who ran a machine shop that was in the process of being bought out by a very corrupt businessman, who turned out to be an illegal alien that was selling parts of this planet back to his."

"Seriously?" Jeremiah asked. "Some alien was trying to sell this planet?"

"Don't ask me why, there's plenty of uninhabited planets that they could do that sort of thing legally to, but this race likes to just rip apart planets that were inhabited," said Frank.

"So, what about the three mice?" Jeremiah asked. "What about them?"

"Oh, we granted them the same privileges most cops do when they are outside their normal jurisdiction, like Citizen's Arrest, and Good Samaritan rights, and that sort of stuff," Frank said. "If they see something, they can respond, but they have to let us take over when we are on the scene, but they can stand by, just in case we need a hand."

"So, what about the race of aliens that was trying to tear apart the planet?" Jeremiah asked.

"Well, given that this planet is a favorite tourist destination by the inhabitants of over fifty planets with ships that can go Faster Than Light, and they have heavily armed armadas, we've come to a mutual understanding - they touch this planet, and theirs will be destroyed."

"I'm surprised that we haven't reversed-engineered any alien's spaceships yet," said Jeremiah. "I mean, why don't we do that?"

"Because people aren't ready for it yet," said Frank. "This planet doesn't have the technology necessary to make, let alone sustain, even your basic FTL ship. That being said, we're giving certain elements, which don't seem connected, but actually are, to certain people who have all but figured the information out."

"Like what?"

"Communication devices, medical devices, information devices, improved aircraft, and that sort of stuff," said Frank. "Soon, someone will put the pieces of the puzzle together, and use it to make the ship."
"Look!" Jeremiah said. "I think there was an accident."

The white minivan had jumped the curb and hit a power pole. Frank and Jeremiah joined the three mice at the scene.

"It's Kovar," said one of the mice. "Looks like he is unconscious. Anybody know how to do mouth-to-mouth on a Hyperloid Octavon?"

"Do they even have a mouth?" asked one of the mice.

Another one said, "I think they have a blowhole, three nostrils, and a proboscis."

"Let's just wait for the paramedics."
As Terrance visited his father, his cell rang "Excuse me dad." As he answered the cell phone "Yes Ms. Brownhoof? Oh, if it's not one thing, it's another. Yeah, I understand. Okay, tell Throttle, Modo and Vinnie I'm on my way." As he hangs up "Sorry to cut this visit short dad, something came up. Korvar is off his medication again and now he's unconscious after an accident."
"Alright," said Frank. "Let's keep the scene secure. Keep people back so that the doctors can get through."
Terrance arrived as the paramedics were loading Kovar into an ambulance. "How is he?"

The three mice, Throttle, Modo, and Vinnie, shook their heads sadly from side to side.

"But he will live, won't he?" Terrance asked.

Jeremiah said, "It's critical. But they aren't really sure. Nobody really knows how much damage a Hyperloid Octavon can take."

"Why is everybody so sad?" Frank asked. "It's not like Kovar was a model citizen."
Terrance says "Korvar is an ambassador to his race, his death could start a war." He then pulls out his cell phone, "Dr. Hellfire, we have an emergancy. I know, but this is more important then your Kentucky Bourbon. Korvar is critically wounded after an automobile accident, meet me at Monster City General so we can help save him."
"Is a war even possible?" Jeremiah asked.

"Highly unlikely," said Frank. "An attack would piss off the other aliens that like to visit this planet, and they'd retaliate on our behalf. Still, the death of an ambassador can makes things difficult, especially if it isn't an honest accident."
"But in this case," Jeremiah said. "I mean, he was in his manic phase and driving very irresponsibly."

"I'm sure whatever board of inquiry investigates this will take all that into account," Frank said. "Maybe we better go along with Terrance to the hospital and make sure there is no hanky panky. I don't trust that Dr. Hellfire. He's a lush."
As Terrance boarded the Ambulance, he spots Frank and Jeremiah board too. "Decided to make sure Korvar stayed alive?" Frank says "In a way, yes. I want to make sure Dr. Hellfire do his job." Terrance says "I know Dr. Hellfire, he may have his quirks, but like me he took an oath on saving lives when he worked with me."
"Well, you might want to keep an eye on him," said Frank. "Seems that his wife's due in a few weeks, and we caught him celebrating a little early, if you know what I mean."

"Ah, that would be an issue."
"I don't understand why people drink," Jeremiah said. "Never touch the stuff myself. I like to keep a clear head. Why would you want to fuzz your brain up with alcohol?"

"People have their reasons," said the ambulance driver. "In a job like mine where you have to see gruesome stuff all the time, it helps in the evening to come home and unwind with a couple of beers."
Things are quiet on the way to the hospital as Terrance looked at Korvar, he says "I told you to follow your medication, now look at you? Being ambassador is a big responsibility, how can you be if your so hyperactive like that?"
"Fast car," said the ambassador.
"It's not the car, it's the driver," Terrance said. "Don't try to blame your bad driving on the car."

"But it was the car," said Kovar, even though he was barely able to speak. "Someone must have tampered with it. It had no brakes and the gas pedal was stuck. I was lucky I hit that pole instead of another car."

"Are you telling the truth? Someone tampered with the car?"

"I swear it."

"This is serious," Terrance said. "It sounds to me like someone tried to murder the ambassador."
Frank overheard the conversation, "This is serious. Soon as the ambulance stops, we need to head back and check Korvar's car." Jeremiah asks "What about Dr. Hellfire?" Frank says "He can wait, first things first. We need to find out who tried to kill Korvar and we'll start by checking the break lines." Jeremiah asks "One other question, how is Korvar able to talk? He unconscious."
Frank looked at Jeremiah. "Son, half the things in this life have taught me this - I'll never know the answer to everything. For all I know, Korvar has limited telepathic abilities, and managed to take control of Terrance, and got him to say what he wanted to say, so that we know what we know."

"Sounds like something out of a badly written story, or a bad movie," said Jeremiah. "You know, when the writer pulls something out of his ass to try and save the script."

"Yeah, but Real Life is like that," said Frank. "Sometimes we expect a clear-cut reason as to why a stabbing occurs at a gas station, only to find out it was because there was no real reason, other than the guy was hopped up on methamphetamine or some such thing."
Terrance was listening to this and shaking his head back and forth in that way that means you are listening to idiots argue. "Guys, Kovar is an ALIEN. Specifically, he's a Hyperloid Octavon. They can talk when they are unconscious. It's like sleep walking, except it's sleep talking. I thought you knew that."

"No, I didn't know that," Jeremiah said, "but then I don't know much at all. Frank, you should have known that."
Frank says "Well, in that case, Korvar, do you know anyone who may want to kill you?"
"I don't know," said Korvar. "Maybe my son; I didn't buy him ice cream last week. Or, maybe it's the husband of the woman I've been seeing, on account I've been seeing his wife. Or, maybe my mechanic did it; I didn't tip him the last time he worked on my car. Maybe it was my next door neighbor; he says I play my music too loud."
"At least there are only four suspects," said Frank in a sarcastic tone.

"I'm not done yet," said Kovar. "It could be the plumber. I'm suing him because he didn't install my new toilet properly. Or it might be the baker who had to take back the special cake he baked for my birthday because he misspelled Kovar as Korvar. Or it could be--"

"Enough!" Frank said. "Apparently there are lots of people who want you dead."

"That's why I keep having my manic episodes," Kovar said. "I'm a nervous wreck. The fear and anxiety are eating away at my soul."

"Funny thing is," Terrance said. "When he is conscious he hardly talks at all."

"It's like the drunk thing," Jeremiah said.

"What drunk thing?" asked Frank.

"You know, how some people are shy and don't say much when they are sober but then when they get drunk they start talking a mile a minute."

"I'm not drunk," Kovar said.
Terrance says "I got a feeling that it's none of those, remember he's an Ambassidor of his race. My guess an assassin hired from some alien race hostile to Kovar's race."
"Right," said Frank. "Now to hunt down those with a legitimate grievance against him."
"You might check out the ambassador for the Hypoloid Septagons," Kovar said. "He hates my guts. Also, his olanet is at war with my planet."

"Thanks for the tip," Frank said. "You could have told us that in the beginning."

"I was getting around to it. His name is Allen."

"Not Allen Wrench, I hope," Frank said.

"No, just Allen. The Hypoloid Septagons are a simple people."

Frank sighed. "OK, we'll go have a talk with him. Terrance, would you like to join us? Might be interesting."
Terrance shook his head "Wish I could, but I have a job to do first. Soon as I get to the hospital, I'll be joining Dr. Hellfire and the rest of the licensed doctors patch up Kovar here."
"Yeah, and we have our job," said Frank.
Ambassador Allen invited Frank and Jeremiah into his office. "And how is my dear friend Kovar doing? I heard he was in an accident."

Frank and Jeremiah exchanged glances. Jeremiah said, "Kovar seems unaware of your friendship. Isn't your planet at war with his planet?"

"War!" Allen said. "What is it good for? Before the war Kovar and I used to go fishing for Boneheads in the Sea of Serenity. We would get up at dawn and spread ground Chwickers on the water. Then it was just stand back and watch the Boneheads come! Many a day when we caught the legal limit before lunch. Good times!"

"Nevertheless," Jeremiah said. "The two planets are at war now and you both are official representatives of your governments. Maybe that trumps friendship."

Allen rose to his full height. His dorsal fin quivered and his mouth tentacles wriggled like tiny snakes. "I would NEVER, repeat never, hurt one scale on my dear friend's body! Gentlemen, you have insulted me and I suggest you leave now before I exude any hostility gas."

"We'll leave," Jeremiah said, "but we aren't finished with our investigation yet. For your sake I hope you are telling the truth."
At the impound yard, Frank and Jeremiah checked Kovar's SUV. Frank checked the break line and found a slash mark not made by any normal blade, "Kovar's right, the break line was tampered with but it not cut by any knife, my guess it's from a claw of some kind." Jeremiah says "Any other clues for us to work with?"
"Yeah, I smell a scent I'm not quite familiar with," said Frank.

"Do you know what it is?" Jeremiah asked.

"It's from someone, that much I know, but I can honestly tell you that we've yet to actually meet," Frank said.

"What do you mean?" Jeremiah asked.

"Scent's important to werewolves, like sight is to humans," said Frank. "Once I get someone's scent, I can pick them out in a crowd. Scent's like a fingerprint - unique to each person, and while you can try to disguise it with soaps and perfumes, your scent will stand out, especially to a well-trained nose."

"How well-trained is your nose?" Jeremiah asked.

"I can identify if a simi-tractor uses diesel or gasoline, just by its exhaust, identify a woman's perfume from ten blocks away, and you put on Old Spice Number Five deodorant this morning, along with Aloe Dove soap, and Suave Rainforest shampoo."

"Um, good guess with those," said Jeremiah.
"And you flossed your teeth with Equate Mint-flavored floss," Frank said.

"OK, now it's getting spooky," Jeremiah said. "So this scent on the brake line... if you smell it again then we'll know who did it?"

"That's right."

"Then our course of action is clear. We need to let you smell everyone in Monster City."

Frank looked sideways at him. "I know you're joking, but as we cruise around, who knows? We might go somewhere that person went and I'll pick up the scent."

"You think it's a human?"

"Don't know," Frank said. "It's not always easy to tell by a person's smell just what they are, especially with species that use DNA for a genetic code. Could be an alien or an anthromorph."
After the operation, Kovar is sent to a recovery room where outside both Terrance and Dr. Hellfire. "Let just let him rest for now," Dr. Hellfire says and he sees Terrance just standing there "Terrance?" Terrance snapped out "Sorry, I was thinking." Dr. Hellfire says "About?" Terrance says "Both Hypoloid races, the Octavons and the Septagons are peaceful, why would they wage war on each other?"
"I avoid politics," said Terrance. "It's usually safer that way."
"I'm a scientist," said Dr. hellfire. "This isn't about politics for me. It's a matter of sociological interest. Two groups are peaceful, yet they are fighting with each other. it does not compute."

"Doc, you can have peaceful people who get upset with each other."

"Yes, but they handle their differences peacefully. I have a theory that the Septagons and the Octavons are being psychological motivated by some third party who stands to benefit from a war."

But who?" Terrance asked, "and how?"

"The Daytron Corporation," said Dr. Hellfire, "the galaxy's biggest manufacturer of military hardware. And as for how... I've heard rumors that they have advanced techniques using the media that gives them the ability to influence entire populations to buy their products."
Frank gets a phone call "Terrance, how's Kovar? Ahh good, he's recovering. Listen I checked his car and found a slash mark on the break line and a scent from someone and it's not Allen. What's that? Daytron Corporation eh? Okay, I'll check it out."
"Daytron Corporation?" Jeremiah asked.

"Ever hear of subliminal advertising?" Frank asked.

"Yeah."

"It's their specialty," said Frank. "They convince you to buy their products, and use them against whom they tell you to."

"Then, why haven't I heard of them?" Jeremiah asked.

"For one, they are based on a different planet, although they do have local branches, which use different names, on Earth in the form of Military Weapons dealers, both legitimate, and black market. They sell to both sides in a conflict and they don't care who wins."

"So, what do we do about them?" Jeremiah asked.

"Not much we can do, as they don't use technology we're not supposed to have, like working laser guns - they sell the stuff we can make with our current technology - sort of like when Russia dumped all of its outdated military equipment on various third-world nations while it was getting updated with new equipment," said Frank. "Hell, they set that up as well."

"So, what can we do?" Jeremiah asked.

"Get someone to mess with the books, and make it look like they are trying to hide money they haven't disclosed, and get the IRS after them for Tax Evasion," said Frank.

"The IRS?" Jeremiah asked. "You send Tax Collectors after them?"

"No one messes with the IRS, no one."
"Do we have people who can handle that?" Jeremiah asked.

Frank laughed. "If you think we have to do it ourselves, forget about it. There are people at headquarters who will deal with the IRS and Daytron. That stuff is too big for you and me."

"We'll just stick to the pimps and the muggers," Jeremiah said.

"And the dealers and the scammers," Frank added.

But later that day a new problem arose that didn't fall into any of those categories.
At Monster City Television, Allen is being interviewed "I know what you're thinking, but I assure you I have nothing on Kovar's accident let alone why we are fighting the Octavons in the first place. It's almost like some outside source saying that we do so and furthermore..." before Allen finished talking, a reptilian being burst in welding a photon blaster shouting "HERE'S A MESSAGE FROM KOVAR!!!"
Thankfully, before anyone could be harmed, security managed to jump on the reptilian and apprehended him.

Frank and Jeremiah got the task of transporting the uncooperative suspect.

"What's going on?" Jeremiah asked. "Aren't people keeping a lid on things?"

"One would think that," said Frank. "I want to know the Why."
They had a meeting with their Superior that morning. Boynton Thornhill didn't get his job the hard way, by earning it from working his way up through the ranks. Instead, his rich daddy had made sure he got it. He gazed at Frank and Jeremiah through his thick spectacles. "Keeping a lid on things?" he repeated. "Of course we're keeping a lid on things."

"Then what's the deal with that reptilian bursting in on us?" Frank asked. "He had a photon blaster. We could all have been fried."

"Sorry, boys, but it couldn't be prevented. The reptilian's name is Cryxx and he came here legally as a representative of his people. In fact, he just stepped off the ship yesterday. As far as we can tell, he has no connection to Kovar at all."

"Then why did he do what he did?"

"Right. The Why. Add that to your to-do list. Find out why."
Author's note: Prepare for appearance from an old character of mine from Twiga's humanimal series.

At his desk, Cooper gets a call from his boss "Cooper, we have a situation. The Daytran Corporation hired an Assassin to kill both Ambassadors of Hypoloids." Cooper says "If that happens, I dare not imagine the results." The boss says "The assassnin's name is Cryxx." Cooper says "He's wanted in 7 galaxies, where is he now?" The boss says "Earth. Only way to get to Earth is by legal papers." Cooper says "No doubt the signature was forged by one of Daytran's stooges. Okay, I'm heading there right now."
(Actually Steve, the Chief of Police is a leprechaun named Patrick O'Finnly, but there's always those Superior types between the Chief and the regular officers.)

Frank looked at the suspect, who was in a holding cell.

"What do we do?" Jeremiah asked.

"See if someone claims him," said the werewolf. "Then we'll have someone to look into."
Frank and Jeremiah were having a coffee in the break room when the alarm sounded. "What the hell?" Frank said and jumped up.

Jeremiah joined him in a run to the holding area. Sure enough, the cell that once held Cryxx was empty.

"How did he get out?" Frank asked a guard.

"We don't know. They're reviewing the security camera footage now."
As Cooper's ship orbit Earth, he slowly approached Area 51 then he got a message "Attention unknown ship, you just entered restricted airspace. Identify yourself and state your purpose."
Cooper responds "The Name's Cooper Cooner, I'm with the Space Rangers, a special class of Intergalactic Police Force sworn to uphold the law. My purpose here is to find and bring back a wanted intergalactic killer known as Cryxx."
Frank was soon listening to the communication from Cooper's ship. "And now, the department wrangling begins."

"Deal with this sort of thing often?" Jeremiah asked.

"Usually, we're able to handle things ourselves - assaults and thefts and the like - haven't had anyone try to kill another in several decades, especially once Earth was listed as a Neutral Zone, not to mention a Tourist Destination," said Frank. "Sure there's been the occasional rampage, but the damage is usually limited to property, and not done to people."
When Cooper heard the news that Cyrxx had escaped from custody he said, "Well, now isn't that a sour piece of candy?" But he wasn't too disheartened because he had plenty of tools to find and recapture Cyrxx.

First he put a satellite in orbit that would immediately detect the launch of any spaceship. Cyrxx would not escape that way. But that still left all of earth for Cyrxx to hide in.

Cooper then deployed seven devices that he called Sniffers. They were tuned to the reptilian's unique DNA and if they got within 100 feet of him they would know it and send a signal back to Cooper. Cooper decided to put all of them in Monster City on the theory that Cyrxx was still in the area.

His next step was to meet with the local authorities. Cooper had a theory about how Cyrxx got out of his cell, but he wanted to hear what the local cops had to say about it first.
Cooper headed to the Monster City Police Dept. where he sees the police chief. "You must be Cooper, I was expecting something more alien, and I see a raccoon." Cooper says "I'm also a professional law enforcer. I'm here for him." He takes out a portable holo-projector and it shows a 3D image of Cyrxx. A gruff voice from the doorway says "Why are you after Cryxx?" Cooper looks around and sees a werewolf and a human come in "Frank," the chief says, "How many times must I tell you not to barge in without knocking?"

"I did knock," said Frank. "However, that lovely dragon-wife of yours, Mavis, mentioned that some Intergalactic officer was here looking for our escaped convict, so, I came in to ask the guy a question."

"What's that?" Cooper asked.

"Why in the hell haven't you caught him yet?"
"Cryxx is a clever reptile," Cooper said. "I'm not surprised he slipped out of your hands. He slipped out of ours too, but the next time I catch him it will be forever because I have these." He held up some strange-looking handcuffs. They were black and had a couple of LED's that blinked.

"We call these Forever Cuffs," Cooper said. "Not only are they impossible to get out of, they send out a radio signal that can be used to locate them and therefore locate the person who is wearing them."

"Nice," Jeremiah said. "I love a good law-enforcing gadget."
Cooper adds "You will need my help." Frank says "Why is that?" Cooper says "Like you, Cryxx is a shape shifter, but the only difference is that unlike you he uses it to disguise himself and he'll look like anyone. Good thing we came up with these." He holds up a small device looking like a nose, "this is called a sniffer, I have seven of these flying around and it's tuned in to his specific DNA. It will send a signal to my wrist communicator if it comes within 100 yards of him."
"Nice to know," said Frank. "Of course, I already have his scent registered into my database."

"And what database is that?" Cooper asked.

Frank tapped his nose. "The real McCoy. Machines have yet to beat the real sniffer."
Suddenly Cooper got a distracted look on his face and tapped his ear. Although it wasn't noticeable, there was a small earphone there connected to his com devices. "I'm getting a signal from a sniffer."

"Good!" Frank said. "Where is that lizard?"

Cooper flipped open his tablet. "Ever heard of Appaloosa Street?"

"Sure! Come on Jeremiah. Cooper, better come with us so we can track Cryxx."

Jeremiah let Cooper have the passenger seat next to Frank. He climbed in the back seat.

Appaloosa Street was a shady lane in a quiet residential area. "Is he in a house?" Frank asked.

"Must be," said Cooper. "Or a car. According to this, we're within100 yards of him now and I don't see him."

"What about the Sniffer? Do you see that?"
Cooper checks his com device and then looks up to one of the top floor windows of the house "There." He points to it. Jeremiah says "He must be inside." Frank picked the lock with his claw and the three rushed upstairs and they Caught Cyrxx speaking to his Daytron Corporation contact when he spotted, Frank, Jeremiah and Cooper, "Who dares intrude on my home!?" He then spotted Cooper "YOU!" Cooper says "Cyrxx! You're under arrest! Come with us!" Cyrxx got up "Not a chance coppers, no jail will hold me!" he then jumped through the window,
Frank got on the com. "All units on or near Appaloosa Street, be on the lookout for a reptilian on foot. Suspect believed to be involved in the attempted assassinations of two diplomats, and is to be considered Armed and Dangerous. Description is as follows, but be warned, Suspect is a shapeshifter - alternative form's description will follow after normal appearance."
"Don't worry," Cooper said. "My Sniffer is still on the job and I've instructed the other six Sniffers to converge on this area. No way he can get away now."

"So where is he, then?"

Cooper consulted his tablet screen. "I think he might be driving away in our car."

"What?!" Frank said. He and Jeremiah rushed to the window just in time to see their police cruiser turn the corner.

"No problem," Frank said. "He's even easier to catch now." He got back on his com. "Dispatch! Subject has stolen my car. Have units locate and apprehend."

"What if he shape shifts to look like you?" Jeremiah asked.
Frank picks up the Com "Dispatch, one more thing. If you see me without Jeremiah, ask me who my first wife was." Cooper then smiles coyly, "Cleaver."
"So, who was your first wife?" Jeremiah asked.

"Sally Orangetail, a kitsune," said Frank. "We separated twenty years ago."

"Why did you do that?" Jeremiah asked.

"We were married for sixty years, had twenty kids, and well, I guess I wasn't doing it for her any more," said Frank. "We separated as friends, still see her on occasion."
The comm buzzed. Frank thumbed it. "Frank here. What? Uh huh.... I see. Ok, better send someone to pick us up. Roger. Out."

"What is it?" asked Jeremiah.

"They found the car. No Cryxx. Cooper! Where is he?"

Cooper looked at his tablet. "The sniffer lost him."

"Dammit! How is he doing these Houdini moves?"
Meanwhile at Beefsteak Industries(a cover company for Daytran Corporation), the president, A red furred minotaur named Charles Beefsteak is currently pitching a sale to a North Korean rep to Kim Jong-un "You want guns? My guns are the best around and I'm sure your supreme leader will be pleased with these, Negablasters mark-II and these are not like your basic firearm, shoots plasma charges at 50 rounds per minute and I'll even throw in heat-syncs at a discount price, let's just say $15,000,000.00?" As the North Korean rep bargains with Charlie, Cyrxx jumps in a waits until the sale is done. Morton, Charlie's satyr stooge says "You realize, there be using those weapons to attack America." Charlie just said "Why should I care, I just sell them." Morton says "We got company." Then Charlie says Cryxx and wasn't too happy "Cryxx, what are you doing here? You were supposed to assassinate the two Hypoloid ambassadors."
"Got a little sidetracked by the local authorities," the shapeshifter said. "Security guards at the one event got lucky."
Charlie snorted in disgust. "Morton, see if you can figure out what this excuse for an agent is up to."

Morton stroked his long satyr beard with his monstrous fingers, as thick and red as sausages. "You disappoint me Cryxx. I thought you reptilians were so gung ho you'd rather die than fail at your mission?"

"You've been reading too many space novels," Cryxx said. "Life is precious to a reptile. We don't give it away to earn a few bucks from a scumbag arms dealer."

Morton's face grew red. "I'll assume you're talking about Charlie and not about me."

"Whatever," Cryxx said, picking his teeth with a long toothpick.

Morton squinted his eyes. "I don't think I like you attitude, Cryxx. I might have some negative things to say about you on your next performance review."

Cryxx waved his fingers. "Whoa! I'm scared!"

"You must be scared of something the way you came running back here with your tail between your legs. What about those two Hypoloid ambassadors? Are you going to do the job or not?"
An alarm goes off on a display near Charlie's desk, Charlie says "Morton what is that?" Morton says "We're being tracked, by something airborne." Then he spots one of Cooper's sniffers "There." He shoots it down with a short burst of a Negablaster. Cyrxx says "That explains how the local authorities found me, what is it?" Morton says "Some kind of highly advanced tracking device, not from this world." Charlie says "Then where is it from?"
"Must of been that Special officer I heard mentions of before my escape," Cryxx said.
"Special Officer?" Charlie said. "And so you came straight here? Are you an idiot? You think I want a Special Officer asking me questions?"

Morton growled, "Let me waste him, boss."

"No," Charlie said. "I have a better idea. We need to give Cryxx to that Special Officer fast or we'll be getting tracked ourselves."

"But they will use truth serum on Cryxx and he'll tell them all about us anyway."

"Not if he doesn't have any memories to tell," Charlie said.

Cryxx turned pale. "No! You wouldn't!"

Charlie grinned an evil grin. "Knock him out, Morton, and then prepare the laboratory for a little brain surgery."

An hour later Cryxx was dumped beside the highway in a remote area. Fresh stitches encircled his head. It didn't take long for a Sniffer to find him.


"I've picked him up again!" Cooper said.

Jeremiah rushed over to look at Cooper's tablet. "Cryxx? Where is he?"

"On Highway 61 about 10 miles north of town."

"Let's go," Frank said.

It didn't take long for them to catch Cyrxx, shortly they all taken Cyrxx to the station for interrogation. But something is wrong, each question they asked resulted in a blank stare, Frank says "Is something wrong with him." Jeremiah says "It seems the lights are on..." then he waved his hand over Cyrxx face with no response "...but no one is home." Cooper saw the stiches "No wonder, someone gave him a Lobotomy."
"Figures," said Frank. "This guy obviously knew too much, so someone silenced him, and they did it in an interesting way."

"So, what do we do?" Jeremiah asked.

"Get Dr. Terrance," said Frank. "With any luck, he'll know how to reverse the operation, or, at the very worst, know who could have done the work."

"But, what if he can't fix the damage?" Jeremiah asked.

"At the very least, he can make it so that this lizard's caretakers don't have to do any potty training," Frank chuckled.
"Crude work," said Dr. Terrance. "but they managed to damage some of the occipitotemporal regions of the right hemisphere resulting in retrograde amnesia."

'Everyday words, Doc, please!" said Jeremiah.

"They fucked with his brain and made him forget everything."

"Maybe a little too everyday, Doc. Can he be fixed?"

"No," said Dr, Terrance. "The damage is permanent. He'll never be able to recall anything from his past. In fact, he's already close to being a vegetable."

"Well, that's that," Jermiah said to Frank. "He'll never tell us anything."

Frank looked at Dr. Terrance. "Any idea who might have done this?"

Terrance laughed. "You mean, do I recognize their handiwork? No, I can only tell you it was someone who knew where to slice with a knife to damage memories. I wonder why they didn't just kill the poor reptile? Why only damage his memory?"

"Maybe that's a clue of some kind," Frank said, "but I can't imagine what it might be. Should we look for someone who is philosophically opposed to killing, but has no problems inducing brain damage? I don't know."
Jeremiah sys "At least he won't be after Allan and Kovar." Frank says "That means whoever hired him will hire someone else in his place." Terrance says "Speaking of which, you'll be happy to know Kovar made a full recovery." Frank says "Where is he now?" Terrance says "He's sent back to his home." Cooper says "Is there someone in Monster City who deals with selling an manufacturing weapons?"
"You're at Area 51, where lots of weapons are designed, built, and tested," said Frank. "About one in twenty people around here are involved in some part of the process. As for the selling part, we only have one Legal client we're supposed to sell to, the US Military."
"If you want to find a bunch of illegal arms dealers," Jeremiah said. "Just go on the internet. You can find anything on the internet."

"Tell me about it," said Terrance. "I have bought drugs from Canada, medical drugs I might add, and they were half the price of buying them in America."

"And that's illegal?"

"Technically it is, but you know how it is, there are lots of things that are supposed to be illegal but just keep happening anyway."
Meanwhile back at Beefsteak Industries, Charlie is working at his desk when Morton knocked on the door. "Come in Morton, better be good news." Morton says "Oh yes it is, I found a replacement for Cyrxx. He says he's the best assassin in a galaxy." Charlie says "That what Cyrxx said when he made his pitch and he nearly exposed us." Morton says "Oh, this one's different and he's waiting outside." Charlie says "Fine, bring him in." A few minutes later a robed figure came in, "So, you said you're the best assassin in the galaxy." Charlie sated. "What guarantee do you have that you are, and most importantly, who are you?"
"My name is not for you or anyone to know," the figure said. "As for my skills.." the figure walked over to an open window. "Come here."

Charlie came by the window, carefully watching the figure.

The figure pointed at a man changing a garbage can. "Watch him."

Charlie had an eye on the garbage collector, and one on the figure, and the cloaked being pulled out what looked to be a straw. The figure put something in the straw, and brought the straw to where, presumably, its mouth was. Charlie heard a puff of air, and something zoomed out of the straw.

The garbage collector slapped at his neck. "Damn mosquito." He then went about his work.

Charlie scoffed at this. "Is that the best of your talent? He's still working."

"Yes, but tomorrow he'll call in sick with the flu, and in a week, he'll be dead."

"Hmm, a slow and painful death, seems interesting."

"Yes, and only I have the antidote, and only I know how to administer it."

"Antidote?"

"Sometimes my victims offer me money to save them, and kill those who want them dead," the figure said. "Very useful in case my employer tries to stab me in the back; a simple scratch, and they will die in the week."

"What if someone stole your antidote and decided to use it themselves?"

"Get the dosage wrong, and you die. Inject it in wrong place, you die. Forget to remove booby-trap, you die."

"So, you're prepared for anything."

"Double-cross me, and you'll be dead, for darts are only one method of passing the poison to the target; knives, claws, food, drink, even a kiss on the lips, or the hands."
"You sound dangerous enough," Charlie said. "Maybe a little too dangerous. Do you mind if I discuss your employment privately with Morton before we proceed any further?"

"Not at all," Said the robed figure.

Charlie took Morton into the other room. "What the hell are you doing? Did you hear what this guy said about getting even with whoever employed him?"

Morton looked surprised. "But Boss, we aren't going to double-cross him, are we?"

"You ninny! It's not about what we actually do, it's about what he thinks we've done. This guy is crazy enough to believe anything."

"We can't fire him now," Morton said. "I already promised him a job. I thought for sure you'd be pleased to have someone like him, so much more reliable than Cyrxx."

"At least I didn't have to worry about Cyrxx coming after me."

Then the phone rang, Charlie says "Hello? Yes Lord Spector, don't worry. We'll have Ambassador Allen and Ambassador Kovar dead within a week." Then a worried look is shown on Charlie's face. "Yes my lord, it shall be done by tomorrow night." Morton asks "Is something wrong boss?" Charlie says "Lord Spector wants both Hyoeroid Ambassadors dead after the negotiation talks tomorrow night, or he'll have my head mounted on is wall."
Right about then, Frank got a call. "Hello." The werewolf listened to the person on the other end. "Right, understood. We'll be there. No, I'm not coming alone, I'm bringing a few friends that I trust." He hung up.

"What is it?" Jeremiah asked.

"Got a tip on who it is that wants our ambassadors dead," said Frank.

"Do you trust this source?" Cooper asked.

"Man's an assassin who will kill anyone, given enough money," said Frank. "That said, he has standards, and given the fact that he found out that I'm a police officer in the area his targets live, he's having some second thoughts."

"What do you mean?" Cooper asked.

"I saved his life some years back, and thus he thinks that he owes me a debt as a result," said Frank. "He's willing to divulge what he knows, and walk away from the job, providing that we can meet the price he'd been offered."

"What's that?" Jeremiah asked.

"Two million dollars, cash."

"Where the hell are we going to get that kind of money?" Jeremiah asked.

"Black Budget of the US Military," said Frank. "They only have to say that they spent it on something foolish, like gold toilets for the General's Quarters."

"No wonder the economy is the way it is," said Jeremiah.

"What if we don't have the money to pay him?" Cooper asked.

"If we offer him a suitable down-payment, he might hold off on the job, until he's fully paid, one way or the other."
Charlie tapped his fingers on his desk. Morton waited patiently. Sometimes it took the boss a while to see that the only answer was the right answer.

"OK," Charlie said. "I guess we have to hire this guy. God forbid he gets a splinter in his rear and comes after us."

They went back into the room where the assassin was waiting for them.

"Look," Charlie said, "I know you don't want us to use your name but we have to call you something."

"Call me He Who Has No Name."

"Right," Charlie said. "I'll do that, Jack. We've decided to hire you. The targets have to be killed tomorrow evening. Any problems with that?"

"Not unless extensive travel is required."
Charlie says "No travel required, both targets are here in Monster City. Both are Hyeroid Ambassadors. A Octavon named Kovar and a Septagon named Allen. Negotiation talks are tomorrow night and my superior wants them dead by then." The robed figure says "Is there any food involved?" Charlie says "How can you think of food at a time like this?" The robed figure says "I mean for the negotiations, if there's food involved. I can poison them."
A while later, Frank was in a dark section of town, wearing plain clothes, as he carefully walked into a bar, holding onto a brown paper bag, and sat in a dark booth. A few minutes later, a cloaked figure came into the place, looked around, and saw him. The figure walked over, and sat in the booth.

"Is that the down-payment?" the figure asked.

"Call it a Good Faith Payment," Frank said, as he opened the bag enough for the figure to see inside it. "Ten thousand dollars in hundred dollar bills weighs as much as a Big Mac. Would you like to see me try to carry fifty Big Macs?"

The figure chuckled as it grabbed the bag. "So, where is the rest of my Big Macs?"

"The address is written inside the bag, so don't rip it," said Frank. "It will take you to the down-payment. The rest of the money will be given to you when the job is not completed."

"You always deal with me fair and square," said the figure. "The job won't be done by tomorrow night."
"I like not doing business with you," Frank said and walked out.

Later, in the car with Jeremiah and Terrance, he was quizzed about the assassin.

"How did it go?" Jeremiah asked.

"Smooth," said Frank, "assuming his word is good, and I think that it is."

"So what does he look like?" Terrance asked. "So far I am only hearing that he wears a heavy robe with a hood."

"That's right," Frank said. "He does. It's like something out of Star Wars. I can barely see his eyes glowing in there."

The robed figure followed the address to a warehouse near the docks and found his 'Big Macs' in a crate marked McDonald's inside is a jar of tranquilizer. "Ahh yeah, this should fool Mr. Beefsteak. Wait until he finds out that all I did was I shot a spitball at that garbage collector.""
"So, what do we do now?" Cooper asked, as the others told him what happened.

"We will wait, until we are sure that things are going according to plan," said Frank.

"What is the plan?" Jeremiah asked.

"Our assassin will douse the ambassadors' food with the tranquilizer, which will take about thirty minutes to make its victims pass out, at which point they are to be rushed to the hospital, where they will be given the reversal," said Frank. "However, the doctor here will list both of them as 'Dead from Unknown Poison', meaning that we'll have to hide two dead, yet very much alive, ambassadors, until the man who wants them dead is arrested."

"How do we do that?" Cooper asked.

"Us locals have our ways of hiding those who need to hide."
Jeremiah chuckled.

"Why are you chuckling?" Cooper asked. "You're not a local."

"I've been here long enough to have some idea how they do things. If they want to hide something, it gets hidden."
Cooper holds up a printout he got from the intergalactic fax transmission, Jeremiah says "What's that?" Cooper says "A list of possible contacts of Spector." Frank asks "Who's Spector?" Cooper says "Spector is the criminal mastermind behind Daytron Corporation." Frank reads the list. "Mary Orangetail, Kitsune Enterprises, Jerry Eyedol, Cyclops Corporation, Charlie Beefsteak, Beefsteak Industries. Hmm, I think it's...."
"Wait a minute, Mary Orangetail?" Frank asked. "That can't be right. She's a nice woman, though I did marry her sister instead of her."

"Think your former sister-in-law knows what she's into?" Cooper asked.

"I pity the bastards that told her that it was Legitimate work, once she finds otherwise," said Frank. "Kitsunes hold one hell of a grudge."
"The Cyclops Corporation?" Jeremiah said. "Are they the ones that make the robotic seeing eye dogs for blind people?"

"No, you're thinking of the SeePups Corporation - entirely different.."
Cooper says "How about this Beefsteak Industries." Frank says "Possible, it is rumored that Charlie Beefsteak deals with illegal arms though we never had proof."
"Time to do some investigating," said Frank. "Of course, best way to investigate someone is create a minor incident involving them."

"What do you mean?" Jeremiah asked.

"Let's just say there's a guy I know, who shouldn't be driving, because he can't park without causing some property damage to the area," said Frank. "Get him to cause an accident, and we'll check the place out to make sure everything is all right."
Benny Labamba drove his Ford F-150 pickup truck into the Beefsteak Industries parking lot and somehow lost control. There was a loud crash and the tinkle of glass and now a truck was sticking out of the side of the main office building. The police were called.


Frank flashed his badge. "Detective Frank Greyfur," he said, put away the badge, and walked into the scene of destruction.
Meanwhile, Cooper and Jeremiah was hiding behind the plant as Charlie and Morton left the office. They both made it inside before the door shut. Jeremiah says "What are we doing in here?" Cooper says "Looking for evidence, hopefully Frank can keep Mr. Beefsteak distracted long enough to find evidence to convict Beefsteak for illegal arms." After a brief search, Jeremiah finds a list of weapons sales in a book "Here I found something. Listen to this, a cache of Negablasters were sold to the North Koreans." Cooper says "Negablasters? those weapons are outlawed in 20 galaxies. Watch the door while I copy it all down."
"What are Negablasters?" Jeremiah asked.

"This planet doesn't have that level of technology to make them," said Cooper. "However, you could say that they are atomic bombs on steroids, atomic bombs that you can use with one hand."
"Sounds like fun," Jeremiah said. "You know, when I was a kid I used to make homemade fireworks, little bombs and rockets. I still get a kick out of blowing things up."

"Good for you," Cooper said, "but you don't want to play with Negablasters. They'll do a lot more than blow off one of your fingers."
Cooper then finished copying down the evidence needed "Okay, we're done here. Let's go." Jeremiah says "It's bad enough that the North Koreans are hostile towards America, but with these weapons makes them more dangerous."

In the Lobby, Frank got a text "Ah yes, come Benny. Your doctor wants to examine you." Charlie says "What about this mess? Who's going to pay for the damages?"
"Don't you have insurance for Property Damage?" Frank asked. "Most everyone around here has that for this sort of stuff."
"Yeah, I've got insurance," Charlie said, "but now my premiums will go up. What about you, truck driver? Don't you have liability insurance on that Ford?"

"Sorry," Benny Labamba said. "This is like my 12th accident. I lost my insurance coverage a long time ago."
Charlie says "Then you will be hearing from my lawyers. There will be a court date."

Frank and Benny met Jeremiah and Cooper outside, "How did it go?" Frank asked. Frank responded, "Despite the lawsuit on Benny due to lack on insurance, it went well." Cooper holds up the evidence he got "How's this for a countersuit?"
"Certainly enough to hold them over," said Frank. "The Chief will want to see this. Only thing O'Finnly hates worse than those who steal his gold are those who sell out their country."

"Are all leprechauns like that?" Jeremiah asked.

"More than a few at any rate," said Frank.
A couple of weeks later, after the arrests had been made and the lawsuits settled and the ambassadors were safe again, Frank and Jeremiah and Cooper and Terrance found themselves guests of honor at the Hyperloid Embassy.

Both ambassadors toasted them and there was hearty applause. "You four have done much to improve galactic relations. I am giving each of you the Hyperloid Medal Of Extreme Honor, the highest tribute a Hyperloid can give.

"Thank you," Frank said. "We were just doing our job, but I will cherish this medal forever."
In the brig section of Area 51, Charlie and Morton are pondering on how they ended up here. "I can't believe it, a simple lawsuit backfired on us. How did this happen?" Morton says "Perhaps it's that Benny, he's really some kind of military agent and staged that accident." Charlie says "Where's that robed assassin?" A voice says "Right here." the robed figure appeared in the room outside the cell Charlie is in. "Oh, thank goodness." Charlie says, "Let us out." The robed figure just shook his head "Sorry, can't do that." Charlie says, "Can you at least tell me who you are?" The robed figure says "You really want to know?" Charlie nodded, "At least grant me that wish." The robed figure says "Very well," he grabs his hood, "I will do more then tell you, I'll show you." He removes his hood revealing he is....
Completely invisible, except for a pair of glowing eyes.

"That's disappointing," said Charlie.

"You wish," the figure said. "I can slip past anyone, and I certainly fooled you."

Then, the eyes vanished.
Morton sighed. "Sometimes living in Area 51 really depresses me."

"I know what you mean," Charlie said. "Just when things get as weird as you believe they can possibly get, somebody cranks the weirdness up a notch higher."

The assassin put his hood back on and his eyes returned. "You guys are amateurs. I've seen things so weird they turned my mind inside out. Once I was outside of myself for over a year until a kindly 7th dimensional being turned me back the right way. Ever since then I've had a fondness for the 7th dimension. Ever been there?"

"Can't say that I have," said Charlie.
The figure says "Trust me, it's not the place you want to take a vacation. I better get going I already promised him that I have lunch with him." Before Charlie could respond, the figure knocked on the door where a guard immediately let him out. As he headed into the security room, Frank, Jeremiah and Cooper waited patiently as Frank saw the figure "You know I'm not from the 7th. dimension." The figure pulled off his hood revealing that he's really a chameleon man. "I know, but he doesn't know that." Cooper says "I'd like to hear about this but I have to get going, there's a cell waiting for Cyrxx and I'm going to take him there, at least he won't be making another escape." Jeremiah says "Can you explain who your friend is Frank?"
"Former Special Operative Julius Brutus Scipio," said Frank. "Got caught up in a teleportation mishap or some such thing involving a chameleon, and some faulty wiring, and bad computer programming."

"Um, what?" Jeremiah asked.

"A class of alien students doing a Human Study course, with a whole lot of errors that occurred," said Sam. "They found him sleeping in the nude, and beamed him up, just as a chameleon stepped on him. Somehow their genetics merged and thus, this, happened as a result."

"Um, does that normally happen?" Jeremiah asked.

"No, or else your clothing could get stuck to you," said Frank. "Reports indicated that it was a malfunction."
Cooper locked Cyrxx in his cell. "Well, old man, how does it feel being finally locked up for good? You know you can't escape from here. This is it, buddy. Permanent imprisonment."

"Bah!" said Cyrxx. "You don't scare me. I don't care how high tech a jail cell is, I'm always just a temporary resident."

"Bust out of this one and I'll be impressed," Cooper said. "But you'll like the food. They have a first class cook here. Even knows how to make scrambled eggs."
As Cooper left the intergalactic prison, he reported in "Cooper to headquarters, you'll be happy to know that Cyrxx is back where he belongs." The chief says "According to your GPS location, confirmed and good work Cooper, I just heard from the Hyeroid council. Both Ambassadors completed their negotiations." Cooper says "I'll bet Spector isn't too happy." The chief says "Worry about him later, right now. Come back to headquarters, you got paper work to do."

Back in Monster City, Frank, Jeremiah and Julius is celebrating with a little lunch. As they wait for their meals, Jeremiah asked Julius, "You certainly a pro in undercover work, how did you know that it was Charles Beefsteak behind the all this?" Julius says "I just did the math, He's rich enough to hire someone like Cyrxx and he keeps a clinic with an expert brain surgeon to quiet him. So I hired myself as a mysterious hooded figure to infiltrate Beefsteak Industries."
"Useful to know," said Frank. "Anything else to share?"

"Like what?" Julius asked.

"Like, am I going to find a body with your name on it?"

Julius grinned. "Of course not."
"Here comes the food!" Jeremiah said.

"Who is the shrimp?" asked the waitress.

"I am!" said Jeremiah, and the others chuckled.

"What's so funny?" Jeremiah asked. "I like shrimp."

"I'm the steak," said Frank.

Julius had the borscht.

"What the hell is borscht?" asked Frank. "It looks like a dessert."
Julius says "I guess you never been to Russia, but it's really Ukrainian in origin. Sort of like vegetable soup with beetroot as it's main ingredient. Like Matzo, it's a Jewish dish." Frank says "Sorry Jeremiah, but when the waiter mentioned shrimp, he said it like it's an insult for short people."
"Seems to happen like that around here," said Jeremiah.
"But you're not so short," Frank said. "What are you? About 6 feet?"

"Five eleven," Jeremiah said. "These are good shrimp. How's your steak?"

"Beefy."

"Something's been bothering me," Jeremiah said. "Why is it Area 51? Why not Area 49 or Area 52?"

"I doubt there is any reason," Julius said. "Just a random number. Unless Frank knows better?"
Jeremiah just sighs "I suppose it's just one of those questions with no answers. I got one other question, what next?"
Frank chuckled. "Blame the CIA for the name. They mentioned it on a report during the Vietnam war."

"Do they know what goes on here?" Jeremiah asked.

"Certain ones," said Frank. "As it is, we can take over any investigation they are doing, so long as monsters, aliens, and other 'so-called fictional creatures' are involved."

"So, just what is our position in the Chain of Command - I mean, you've got town cops, who answer to county cops, who answer to state cops, who answer to federal cops. Where are we?"

"We are above the ATF, FBI, DoD, CIA, and everyone else," said Frank. "That even includes cases that are International. After all, we can't let people know that we exist."

"So, here's a question; why don't you tell people about your people?"

"Ever watch Men in Black with Tommy Le Jones and Will Smith?" Frank asked.

"Seen it a few times."

"Smith's character asked Jones's character a similar question, to which Jones's character explained that, while a person is smart, people are dumb, and panicky. If I were to show up in Times Square in my normal form, the people would turn into a flock of sheep, and run away screaming in terror, or, worse yet, turn into a lynch mob."

"And the plan for the 2047 Reveal?"

"By that time the country, and the planet itself, will have craft that can fly in space on a regular basis, among other things, which means when aliens do show up, the people will, at the very least, think that they have a chance to defend themselves, if it weren't for the fact that said aliens are friendly."
"We know for sure they are friendly?" Jeremiah asked.

"Maybe friendly is not the right word," Frank said, "although in some ways it is. Consider this. Other civilizations have populated the galaxy for millions of years. They've learned that the only way each of them can survive and prosper is if they all survive and prosper. So the idea of fighting wars just doesn't exist with them. They compete, but never in a way that becomes hostile."

"I guess to them we earthlings must seem like primitive barbarians."

"More like teenagers," Frank said. "They all had their growing pains to go through. They know earth is no different. They believe that by 2047 we will be much more mature."
"Besides, things are being carefully planned for the event," said Frank. "The real difficulty will be grooming the human representative."

"Why's that?" Jeremiah asked.

"Well, politicians change every few years, some retire, some die, and others change their policies too often. That, and there's still over thirty years to go until the event."
"By then we may have developed techniques to extend our lifespan," said Jeremiah.

"Good point," Frank said. "It would be a lot better for galactic stability if we lived 200 years."

"Yeah, it would be bad if as soon as they let earth have full membership, we caused the whole thing to collapse."

"Ha! Don't worry about that. We're just one small planet out of thousands. I'm sure they could easily quarantine us if they wanted to."
Jeremiah asks "So, how long have you known Julius?"
"About ten years," said Frank. "Former Italian Special Ops. Now, well, sometimes it's best not to know too much."

"What do you mean?" Jeremiah asked.

"Let's just say that, if he angers the wrong people too many times, we might have to kill him."

"Why is that?" Jeremiah asked.

"He's very dangerous, very skilled, and very deadly," Frank said. "Once I saw him shove a pencil right through the skull of this Iraqi Republican Guard during a mission in the Middle East. Told me he did it because he always wanted to do so."
"I'm glad we're through eating," Jeremiah said. "I swear you tell the worst dinner table stories of anybody I ever met."

Frank sighed. "I suppose we ought to check in with headquarters and see if anything is going down that we need to be in on."

"Not yet! One more coffee."
"Have it on the way in, just in case," said Frank. "Besides, we've still got to deal with tourists."

"Sounds almost boring," said Jeremiah.

Frank grinned. "It's never boring for long around here."
As if to accentuate Frank's comment, on the way to headquarters they saw a thick trail of slime in the street.

"I don't even want to know what that's about," Frank said.

"If it's from a snail," said Jeremiah, "the snail must be the size of a house."
As they followed the trail, they could here horns beeping. "Sounds like your right on with your snail theory, you know how slow they travel."
"So, what would a giant snail, if there is one, want around here?" Jeremiah asked.

"Well, if it had any sort of survival instincts, someplace moist, so that it won't dry out, and more importantly, away from a French Restaurant, so that it won't end up as escargot," said Frank.
"The only place moist is the reservoir," Jeremiah said. "And that's southeast of the city. Which way does the trail go?"

"Southeast," Frank said.

"Just call us Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson."

"Do I have to?"
Jeremiah says "Nope, come on. Let's see if we find someplace else wet for the snail to go, or else Monster City will face a water shortage."
Frank chuckled. "Not even a week, and you're getting the hang of things. As for a water shortage, that's about near impossible. We're sitting on top of twenty million gallons of fresh water in the aquifers under us."

'How far down?" Jeremiah asked.

"According to the subterranean dwellers, one thousand, three hundred sixty-seven feet, and one and three quarters inches in distance, on average that is."
Jeremiah grinned. "Now, Frank, you know I'm going to ask you about the subterranean dwellers. Who are they? How did they get down there? Can I see one?"
Frank chuckled at this. "Sure you can see them. The subway connects to them. There's a reason it's called Downtown. As for what they look like, there's a number of them, although the most common ones are the Molepeople; friendly people with strong digging claws, excellent sense of smell, and all but blind in bright light, though in the dark, they have excellent nocturnal vision."

"Do they even come up here?" Jeremiah asked.

"Only when the sun goes down, and only in places with low or no lighting," said Frank.
"Mole people," Jeremiah said. "I think I saw a movie once about some mole people, but they weren't friendly."

By then they were getting close to the reservoir. The trail of slime continued right up to the edge of the water.

"Whatever it is, looks like it can swim," said Jeremiah.
They took a boat and Jeremiah saw someone familiar, the mermaid he saw when he first came to Area 51, except it looks hurt. "My god," Frank asked, "What happened to you?"
The mermaid looked at him. "Oh great, I'm being rescued by the Pervert."

"Hey, it was an accident," said Jeremiah.

"You're still a Pervert," the mermaid said.

"Would you keep quiet?" Frank asked, as he took a towel, and got it wet. He then picked up the mermaid from the water, set her on the towel, and wrapped her in it, to keep her from drying out. "Now, I'm going to call an ambulance, and I want you to tell me what happened."
"I was sitting in my underwater home," said the mermaid, "reading a book, when I heard this rumbling noise." Suddenly she looked at Jeremiah. "You know mermaids can breathe both in water and in air?"

"I just assumed they could," Jeremiah said.

"Go on," said Frank. "A rumbling noise?"

"Yes," she continued. "Not exactly rumbling because it was underwater, but something low frequency and I thought the ground was shaking a bit as well. I looked out the window and there was this thing, I don't even know what to call it, headed straight for my house. I got out just in time before my home was destroyed, but not quite quickly enough. I guess some shattered wood or sharp metal must have injured me."
Frank says "What does this thing look like?"
"A mollusk did this," the mermaid said. "Specifically, one that resembles what you landdwellers call a snail."
"I knew it!" Jeremiah said. "A snail!"

"Can you describe it?" Frank said. "Size, shape, color?"

The mermaid scratched her head. "It was big. It was shaped like a snail. The color was kind of a dingy yellow."

Frank wrote a note in his notebook and closed it. "If you see it again be sure to give us a call."

"I'll do that," said the mermaid.

"Come on," Frank said to Jeremiah. "Let's go. We're done here."

"But what about the snail?" Jeremiah said.

"What about it?"

"Aren't we going to uh... follow it or something?"

"We can't follow it under water. We'll just have to wait and see where it turns up next, if it does turn up. We might never see it again."
Meanwhile, somewhere on the lake. A fishing boat called 'Treasure of Anubis'. A Jackal man and an Abominable Snowman are enjoying the afternoon fishing, "Thanks Tama," the snowman says, "for letting me fish with you." Tama says "No problem, Flurry, what are friends for?" Flurry says "We help each..." just before he finished his sentence, he felt a tug on this fishing line, "Hey Tama, I believe I got a bite." Tama says "Well pull it in." Even though Flurry is big and strong, whatever he caught is fighting back, and it seems stronger. Flurry says "Help me Tama, I think I caught Moby Dick!"
"I hope he ain't that big," said Tama. "My boat ain't big enough for him!"
Tama reached over to help his friend but even both of them together couldn't pull in whatever was on the line.

"Maybe you are snagged on the bottom," Tama said.

"Oh yeah?" replied Flurry. "Then why are we moving?"

Whatever it was they had hooked was dragging the boat through the water.
The boat was moving in a slow and steady pace, Tama says "At least it isn't fast, last thing I need is my boat ending on the rocks, I still have to make three more down payments on it." Flurry says "Whatever I caught, is dragging us to the clear end of the lake, hopefully we'll see it when we reach it."
"I think we should cut the line, just in case," said Tama. "Might be safer."
"Maybe," Flurry said. "But I'm so dad-burned curious. What is this thing? A turtle, maybe? If it is then it's one big ass turtle."

"I don't know," Tama said. "When dealing with the unknown it's better to be safe than sorry. After all, this is Area 51. Who knows what horror might lurk beneath these murky waters. I say we cut it loose."

"Just be patient until we reach the clear water at the end of the lake. If it looks dangerous I'll cut the line, but it's moving so slowly that I just am not getting any danger vibes from it."
As the boat made it to the clear side of the lake, Flurry looked down and he found that his line is hooked on to a giant snail, almost the size of a diesel truck. A confused look is shown on his face. Tama asks, "Well, what do you see?" Flurry answered, "A snail, I caught a giant snail." Tama looked down and confirmed it, "Now why would a giant snail be doing in the lake?"
"Well, in any case, now would be a good time to cut the line," said Tama.

"No argument here," said Flurry.
Flurry paused as he was about to put his knife to the line. "On the other hand, that's a hell of a lot of escargot. We could make a fortune selling snail meat to French restaurants."

"Give me a break," Tama said. "We couldn't haul that thing up. It's too big and heavy."

"No, but we could get scuba gear and go down and cut some meat off it."

Tama shook his head in disgust. "And do you suppose it's going to just sit there while we do that?"

"It will if it's tied down. Anyway, what can a snail do to you? Slime you?"
Tama says "Wait a minute, I think this is a bad idea."

Flurry says "What do you mean?"

Tama says "That snail could be a mutation. In other words, that couldn't be safe to eat due to radioactivity."

Flurry says "From what?"

Tama says "Think about it, this is area 51. How about from those barrels of toxic waste the military soldiers have outside."
Flurry scoffed at this. "Isn't that just a myth to scare the UFO Seekers away?"
Tama raised an eyebrow. "Is it? Do you want be the one to find out it's true?"

Flurry waved his hand. "You're making this seem harder than it is. We feed some of the snail meat to some test animals. If they are alright, then we know the meat is safe to eat."

"I'll never eat any of that snail meat."

"We don't have to," Flurry said. "The point is to sell it to restaurants and make some money."

"A lot of money?" Tama asked.

"Yes! It's a delicacy."

"Morally, I don't like the whole idea, but economically it sounds interesting."

"Now you're talking!" Flurry said.
Before Flurry jumped in the water he heard "STOP, DON'T TOUCH THAT SNAIL!!!" He faced Tama "Is that you telling me to stop?" Tama "It wasn't me," he points to an approaching motor boat "I think it's them."
"Oh great, the MCPD," Flurry muttered, as he looked at the other boat.

"Don't tell me there's a warrant out on you," said Tama.

"No, but they are a pain in the ass."
There were three officers in the MCPD boat. One of them spoke through a bullhorn. "Turn off your engine! We're coming aside."

The two boats were lashed together and one of the officers confronted Flurry. "Is this your boat? Let's see your license and registration."
Tama stepped forward with his license and registration slip "Actually, it's my boat. Is there a problem officer?"
"Yeah, got reports from another officer about that snail you're trying to catch," the officer said. "Apparently, it's highly destructive. We don't know if it's aggressive, but it is dangerous."
"So why don't we just kill it," Flurry said, "and harvest its meat?"

The officer looked hard at Flurry. "Kill it? We don't just kill every being we come across. How do you know it's not an intelligent life form?"

Flurry laughed. "An intelligent snail? Come on! You're joking."

"I'm not joking at all. This is Area 51. I've seen pond slime that can do algebraic equations. ... OK, that's an exaggeration, but I have seen intelligent worms."
Tama turned around "Flurry. quickly cut the line!" Flurry says "Why?" Tama says "We're heading for the docks, if you don't cut the line. We'll be crashing into them."
"Oh crud," Flurry said, as he looked at the situation. "Oh, alright." He then slashed the line with a knife.
Flurry and Tama and the three MCPD officers watched as the snail continued on its way, crashing through the pilings holding up the docks without even slowing down. The docks crumbled and fell into the water.

"Hmmm," said an officer. "I don't know if it's intelligent, but it did just break the law. Smiley, radio headquarters that we are going to attempt to make an arrest on a snail the size of a truck."

Smiley spoke into the microphone, "Headquarters, this is Unit 22 of the Water Patrol. We have a case of public vandalism. Making an arrest now."
Meanwhile, Jeremiah and Frank overheard the broadcast, "We need to get over to the Marina," Frank says "Those officers may need help."
"What about her?" Jeremiah asked, as he pointed at the mermaid.

Frank looked at the fish-woman creature. "Drop her near where rescue will be easier for the doctors. Shallows are a good place; she won't dry out, and the doctors won't have to swim out too far."

"You do realize I have a say in this," the mermaid said.
"Have your say then," Frank said.

The mermaid raised herself up proud. "We merfolk have our own healers. We don't need to rely on your doctors."

Jeremiah said, "Ma'am, I strongly encourage you to let a real doctor examine you in addition to your own healer."

The mermaid's eyes popped. "A real doctor! Our healers know things your so-called real doctors will never know!"

"Come on, Jeremiah," Frank said. "Let's get over to that marina. She'll be fine."
As Frank, Jeremiah and the Mermaid made it to what's left of the docks, they found Tama, Flurry and the 3 officers pick up injured civilians, a lot of them, Jeremiah says "Did the snail did all this?" Smiley says "It sure did, I'm charging that thing for hit and run." Frank says "Which way did it go?" One of the other officers pointed West. "It went that way," Jeremiah says to the mermaid, "I hope the mermaids have a lot of healers. Look at all this casualty."
Frank chuckled. "The Underwater Dwellers have over three hundred doctors, but, for obvious reasons, they usually treat only other Underwater Dwellers."

"Well, how was I supposed to know that?" Jeremiah asked. "It's not like I know everything here, yet."

"Hey, we are still finding out new things about ourselves," said Frank. "As it is, there's a new subspecies of werewolf out there that the rest of us found out, about twenty years ago."

"What do you mean?" Jeremiah asked.

"Well, usually, werewolves are based off of wolves, both of the wild varieties and the domesticated types known as dogs, but this one is very unique," said Frank.

"Why is that?" Jeremiah asked.

"It has telepathic abilities, like mind-reading, mind-illusions, and such," said Frank. "Only 0.0001 percent of werewolves have the genes that allow this to happen."
Jeremiah said, "Let's hope those super werewolves are all on the side of the law. It would be hell to pay if one of them became a criminal."
Frank laughed at this. "Most of us are on the side of the law. But, just like with humans, we have our troublemakers."
A merman climbed out of the water and approached them. "We've spotted the giant snail. The merfolk have a plan to capture it. Are you interested?"

"Of course," said Frank. "But not if it means risking your lives."

"We think we can do it safely. We'll need a lot of strong rope. Can you get that for us?"
Frank nodded. "I guessing you're planning on using a big net or something. Might know just the guy."
"Let's get some SCUBA equipment and join the fun," suggested Jeremiah.

Frank thought for a moment. "It might be fun at that and I know the department has some equipment."

Two hours later the merfolk had their rope and Frank and Jeremiah had their SCUBA gear along with an instructor named Pierre. He said, "Ze chief told me to go along with you two and make sure you do not drown." He held up a vidcam. "Also, I will record everything in case this snail has any complaint to make."
Authors note: Sorry I skipped the last two entrys, been feeling a bit under the weather but now I feel a little better.

Soon Frank, Jeremiah and Pierre tracked down the snail and saw it was heading towards a merfolk city. Jeremiah says "Is that Atlantis?"
"You're a couple of thousand miles off," said Frank. "That's just Underwater Monster City. Atlantis is located in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, with outposts in the Bermuda Triangle, Mediterranean Sea, the Sea of Japan, one in each of the Great Lakes, and a bunch of other places."

"Wait, the Great Lakes? They have an outpost?"

"There's a reason the Erie Canal was built when it was built," said Frank. "Said reason being an earthquake that collapsed the secret tunnel between the Lakes and the Ocean, and cut off those who were in the lakes from their relations in the ocean."

"Why would that be an issue?" Jeremiah asked.

"The heir to the Atlantian throne was in the Great Lakes, and the King wasn't in the best of health at the time," said Frank. "Luckily, someone was trying to open up a route for ships to use to get to the ocean, so, some people lent him a hand that he didn't know about, and made things easier. Thankfully, the Canal was built in time, and an Atlantian Civil War was averted, which is a good thing."

"Why's that?"

"Because last time, they sunk the city under the ocean. Luckily for them, they were already simi-aquatic enough to survive the whole underwater thing."
Dozens of merfolk surrounded the snail and looped ropes around him until he was unable to move. One of the mermen swam over to Frank and Jeremiah and Pierre. "We have captured him! What do you want to do with him?"

"Do with him?" Frank said. "Hmmm, I think that's a question for headquarters."

"I'm calling them now," Jeremiah said.
The Chief says "Ya got the snail? lov-lee, there's a research boat heading your way. Bring it aboard that boat so the scientists can study it."
"All in all, not a bad day's work," said Frank. "That being said, might want to look around, just in case anyone else needs help."
"But it's suppertime!" Jeremiah protested.

"Is it?" Frank said, and checked his watch. "I guess it is getting kind of late. See you first thing in the morning."

"I'll be there," Jeremiah said.

Later he stopped off at Dim Chung's Noodle Shop for some Ramen, chicken, and broccoli.

"I hear you catch big snail," Dim Chung said.

"Very big. Big as a house."

Dim Chung's eyes widened. "Oh, that is very big. Shell be worth lot of money."

"I didn't think of that," Jeremiah said, "but you're right. A snail shell the size of a house would be quite a collector's item."
"Ah, trick would be who to sell it to," said Dim Chung. "It's a little difficult to transport something that size, and not draw the wrong kind of attention."
"We could put it on ebay," Jeremiah said, "along with some good pics. Then the buyer could come get it if he didn't want to pay for shipping it."

"Your police chief let you do this?" Dim Chung asked.

"Probably not... unless... maybe the profits went to some policemen's charities."

"But maybe someone else claim they own this snail, yes?"

"Maybe."
Meanwhile, Terrance just got home from work when his phone rang, it was his father "Hello son, there's something you need to know. You know that giant snail?" Terrance says "You mean the one the MCPD caught in Underwater Monster City? Yeah, I heard about that." His father says "There's something else about it." Terrance asks "What so special about a giant snail?"
"It contains a very rare dye, and it would not be wise for the creature to die before it has reproduced, via asexual means."

"You mean it makes clones of itself? How do you know this?" Terrance asked.
"Remember when you were a teenager and I told you I worked for a secret government laboratory?"

"Yes," Terrance said. "You mean that was true? I thought you were just trying to make yourself seem important in my eyes."

"Son!" said his father. "How can you think I would lie to you? Anyway, we were doing research into giganticism... uh, that's the science of making things bigger."

"Right, dad, I assumed that's what the word meant."

"We were doing some fish experiments and unknown to us one of the snails in the fish tank got a dose of the chemical. Long story short, it escaped."

"But what about the rare dye, Dad?" asked Terrance. "How does that fit into the picture?"
Father says "It's a growth dye, I was hoping to stop world hunger."
"You mean like with growing bigger plants and such, or having crops produce larger yields in harsh climates, or something like that?" Terrance asked.

"That was one line we were working on."
"Did you have any experiments that worked?" Terrance asked.

"Oh yes," said his Dad. "We made corn with ears as big as a man's leg."

"Wow!"

"Unfortunately, that corn was so tough only animals could eat it. That's one problem with making things bigger. Usually smaller things are more tender. We made some apples as big as pumpkins. You needed a power saw to peel them."
Meanwhile, Frank was about to go to bed when the phone rang, he growled in frustration as he answered the phone "Jeremiah, this better be important." It was Terrance "It's me, Terrance. Sorry to call you at this hour but I have news about the giant snail and it is important." He tells him everything his father told him, the experiments and about the snail. Frank pricked up his ears in fascination. "Interesting, I'll investigate this tomorrow morning, where did you say your father's old lab was?"
"Cretan Islands, over in the middle of the Mediterranean Sea."

"Same place where minotaurs allegedly killed sacrificial virgins in a labyrinth, right?" Frank asked.

"I'm sure you know that those stories were exaggerated by human storytellers to make the cave system more frightening to children," said Terrance.

"Right," said Frank. "The only thing that was taken from those humans was their virginity, at least that's what I've heard."
The next morning, as they sat in the patrol car drinking coffee and eating a donut, Jeremiah listened to what Frank had to say with increasing incredulity. "Wait a minute! Are you saying the chief wants us to go to the Cretan Islands to investigate a mad scientist's laboratory hidden in the Labyrinth of the Minotaur?"
Frank says "I don't think Dr. Brandon Longhorn is mad, his work was to help benefit mankind. He was experimenting with fruits and vegetables to help end world hunger. They, just didn't turn out the way he was expecting."
"Still, you know the stories about that island."

"And half the stories are fictional, and the rest are exaggerated," said Frank. "Most of the folks there are nice; spent some time with them during the War. Their knowledge of the cave system helped out the Allies when it came to planning sneak attacks on Axis forces."
"Should I pack a bathing suit?" Jeremiah asked. "I hear the beaches are very nice there."
Frank says "This isn't a vacation, this is an investigation on how the snail grew. Come we're going to meet with Terrance in the hanger."
"He's coming?" Jeremiah asked.

"Yes, unless you want to get lost in the Labyrinth," said Frank. "Minotaurs never get lost in a maze, or a cave system, or a cornfield for that matter."

"You got lost in a cornfield?" Jeremiah asked.

"Well, it was a thousand acre cornfield."
Jeremiah laughed. "They should never allow you on a farm. You're strictly a city boy."

"True," Frank said, "but you wouldn't believe how tasty those fresh farm chickens are." Frank licked his lips. "Yum!"
Frank and Jeremiah found Terrance in the hanger, Jeremiah says "Frank says that minotaurs don't get lost in the maze, is this true?" Terrance says "Hey, if I can find my apartment from the elevators in my building that easy, I believe it's true." Jeremiah says "That should be an easy trek." Terrance says "You haven't seen the hallways in my apartment building." Then General Knox comes in "A good, I arranged transport for you three, I hope you three don't mind, I'm sending some soldiers to a base in Athens, you three will be going with them, there you'll meet up with a Lt. Marco who will be taking you to Crete. Knox escorts Frank, Jeremiah, and Terrance to a Lockheed Martin C-130J Super Hercules aircraft,
"Good cover for our movements," said Frank. "Terrance, you brought your watch, right?"

"Of course I did. Did you?"

Frank held his wrist up. "Always."
"And all I have is this cheap CASIO," said Jeremiah, holding up his wrist with its black plastic watch. "But it has a stopwatch and tells the temperature."

"That will come in handy," Terrance said, "if you ever want to know how many seconds it takes you to come in out of the cold."

When the plane landed at Athens, the trio met Lt. Marco and immediately noticed something unusual about him.
He's a Telchine, a fishlike being with a face of a dog and fins instead of hands. Jeremiah was surprise to see this, "Huh, I was expecting a human to escort us not a...a..." Terrance says "A Telchine." Jeremiah says "I'm surprised, I never thought a citizen of Monster City can be recruited into the military let alone hold an officers rank." Lt. Marco says "First of all, I am not from Monster City, I lived here in Greece all my life and Crete is my home. General Knox told me you want to go there, shall we get going?"

(Author's Edit: As mentioned in an early post - a number of the Monster City locals do have a military background, and can serve in the military - just in the Black Ops section of the Black Ops, as it were.)
Frank chuckled as he heard Jeremiah's remark. "Didn't you forget that I served during WW2, among other conflicts?"

Jeremiah chuckled nervously. "I just never thought that I'd see a monster in uniform."

"And you never will," said Frank. "Black Ops of the Black Ops - we don't exist, not even on paper. They leave no evidence, not even witnesses."

"You mean they'd kill someone if they spotted them?" Jeremiah asked.

"No, just get them good and drunk, or give them some sort of hallucinogen, or something, so that their story can be discredited," said Frank. "After all, leaving a body leaves evidence, and while it's possible to get rid of a body, it's better to just drug someone instead of killing them."

"But, what if someone tries to kill them?" Jeremiah asked.

"If it's an enemy force, kill them. Friendly force that doesn't realize that your on their side, evade them, or knock them out. Civilians, be sure to drug them. Gang bangers, make it look like a rival gang."
Lt. Marco was listening to all this with a smile on his face. "I have a watch, too, you know. I just thought you guys would enjoy seeing my real shape as long as it was just the four of us. Excuse me for not pretending to be human."

"I'm sorry if I offended you," Jeremiah said. "I just wasn't expecting to see any monsters outside of Monster City."

"And you never will as long as their watches are working. No offense taken, buddy. I'm just one of those monsters who kind of resents having to look human all the time. It's a pride thing. Telchines are an ancient race. We have a lot of pride. It's in my genes."

"Hey, I have my pride to," said Frank. "I'm just smart enough not to show it outside of Safe Zones." The werewolf then looked at Jeremiah. "Now, where's that watch I gave you?"

Jeremiah chuckled nervously. "I left it back at my place, in Monster City."

Frank groaned. "Never go anywhere without it. That's a valuable tool in our line of work - makes you look like someone else, enhances your strength, speed, everything else, acts like armor when you're not wearing an outfit. About the only thing it doesn't do is prevent STDs."

"What do you do for those?" Jeremiah asked.

"The same thing you do; use a condom."

"Wait a minute. You're talking about Sexually Transmitted Diseases, and not some other stuff, right?"

"Yeah," said Frank. "You never want to see a werewolf with the Clap, and to be honest, I hope to never experience it. Sooner get shot at."

"You ever see someone with it?" Jeremiah asked.

"Yeah, and he had to take pills that were about two inches long, every day for six months, and some more to get his libido back in working order."
"Fortunately, I have a small libido," Jeremiah said.

"I wouldn't brag about that," said Frank.

"I'm not bragging. I'm just tacking a small notice on the bulletin board: Small libido. Don't get your hopes up."

"I have a huge libido," Terrance said. "That's because I am a minotaur."
With Lt. Marco leading the way, the trio made it to Crete by motorboat as they made it, Marco says "You're on your own from here, I better get back to base or my superiors will have me A.O.L." As Marco swam off they trekked until they found the Laberyth, "Here we are," Frank says, "Now to found you're fathers lab Terrance, hope you know the way."
Terrance scoffed at this. "Wouldn't you know the way to your parents' place?"

"Well, if I was in NYC, I'd be able to locate it, but not from the middle of the Mediterranean."

Frank chuckled at this. "Good answer."
The Labyrinth seemed to be thousands of years old. The stone walls were crumbling and covered with lichens and mosses. Little bugs scurried here and there and lizards and toads snapped at them. After they had walked for a number of minutes, Jeremiah said, "Hey, this part looks familiar. Haven't we already walked through here?"

"No," Terrance said. "It's just your mind playing tricks on you. All the walls look so much alike, you think you've seen them before. That's what makes it a good labyrinth."
Terrance led them to a section of the maze where he sees a carving of bull horns "Here it is, just as Dad described. Bull horns will mark the doorway to his lab." The 3 felt around the area, Jeremiah says "I think I found it, I feel grooves on this wall."
"Alright," said Frank. "Terrance, mind doing us the honors."
Terrance shoved at the stones until finally something clicked inside the wall and a section swung open.

"Whew!" Terrance said. "You have to be strong as a minotaur to open it. Now let's see what Papa is up to..."

"Wait!" Jeremiah said. "What's that noise?"

"What noise?" said Terrance.

"I hear it," said Frank. "Kind of like a moaning, but maybe it's just the wind."

"The wind?" Jeremiah said. "We're in a labyrinth."
The moaning came from inside the lab, when they came in they found a minotaur wearing a lab coat laying in the corner of the room, he was clearly malnourished. Terrance says "My god, what happened to you?" The Minotaur says "I was cleaning up for Dr. Longhorn until I dozed off, when I woke up I found myself locked in the lab and unable to open the door because I starved myself. Oh sorry, where are my manners? The name's Taurus, Dr. Longhorn's assistant and you are?" Frank says "Frank Greyfur, Sargent of the Monster City Police Department." Jeremiah says "Jeremiah Johnson, Frank's partner." Terrance says "Terrance Longhorn, Monster City's resident doctor and adopted son of Dr. Brandon Longhorn." Taurus says "I hope you brought food, I'm starving."
"Got some travel rations," said Frank. "Not much, but they stave off starvation."
"Thank you!" Taurus said. "Anything tastes good right now. And now that you're here we can get into the kitchen. I'm sure there's some peanut butter in there. Mercy do I crave some peanut butter."

"But where is my father?" asked Terrance.
(Steve, Terrence's father is back in Monster City, he's retired remember?)

Frank says "Isn't your father in that retirement home in Monster City? we're here to for his growth experiment remember?" Terrence slaps his head "Oh yeah, what was I thinking? I meant where is my father's work?" Taurus says "You mean his growth dye? That was a failed experiment, why in the world would you want that?"
"A load of escargot showed up in Monster City with this lab's name on it, you might say," said Frank.
Taurus stared at Frank. "Escargot?"

"He means we captured a giant snail," Jeremiah said. "It was big because of Dr. Longhorn's growth dye, we believe."

"I see," Taurus said, rubbing his chin. "So you want to look over his lab and find out whatever you can about the growth dye?"

"Yes."

"I guess that's okay, seeing as how you're his son," Taurus said, glancing at Terrence. "Although... that crack about 'Where is my father?' was kind of suspicious."

"It was just jet lag affecting my brain," Terrence said. "You have no idea how much trouble it was to get here. Airplane, boat, walking. No wonder I'm so hungry."

"Oh, right!" said Taurus. "First the kitchen, then the lab."
Terrence and Taurus both had peanut butter sandwiches, "Oh yeah," Taurus says, "That hits the spot, noting is more filling then peanut butter sandwich." Terrence says "The texture of the bread seems different, what kind is it?"
"Local moss, you might say," said Taurus.
Jeremiah spit out the piece of bread he had been chewing on. "Moss?!"

"No need to get upset," Taurus said. "Moss is a plant just like wheat is a plant."

"Not exactly," Jeremiah said, holding up the piece of bread and eyeing it critically.

"Eat it or don't eat it," Taurus said. "Makes no difference to me."
Terrence says "Doesn't make a difference to me, at least this brand of moss is edible."
Frank chuckled. "Wait until you get stuck at an alien Ambassador's dinner party and you have to try some of their food."
Jeremiah shrugged. "Oh well. I guess it's better than being hungry." He resumed chewing the bread but not with a pleased expression on his face.

After they finished eating, Taurus said, "Alright, now that that's done, let's take a look around the lab. You probably want to check the filing cabinet first and see what's in there."

"Didn't Dr. Longhorn have a computer?" asked Jeremiah.

"Oh sure, but it only has records from 2001 on. Dr. Longhorn started his research in 1982."
Jeremiah asks "How about a recording of som kind? I know most scientists used to speak into a tape recorder while working on their research."
"Depends on how old it is," said Frank. "Of course, paper, if taken care of properly, can last for a long time."
"Here's something," Jeremiah said, reading from an old journal: "October 25, 1987. Received vial of Substance K from the Roswell boys. Analysis shows it might have bioactive properties." Jeremiah looked up from the journal. "The Roswell boys? He means Area 51, doesn't he?"
Frank nods "That's what they called back then, we were careful on Area 51 back then." Jeremiah reads more in the journal. "Substance K is like ink, I'll test it on a living subject."
"That must of been the snail," said Frank.
"I wonder if they found Substance K on that crashed flying saucer?" Jeremiah said.
Taurus says "I remember Substance K, we tested it on some food, downside is that it didn't make the food edible. Nearly broke my tooth on the corn."
"The only thing we ever did with that saucer was patch it up," said Frank. "Wielded a sheet of metal here, sheet of metal there, a little bit of wiring here, and it was good to go."
"I didn't know that!" Jeremiah said. "You mean they actually were able to fly the thing?"
Frank says "Yeah, the owner of the saucer flew it back to it's home planet."
"I thought that I told you all about it when you first came to MC," said Frank. (see my Second Addition)
(so long ago!)

"You know, Frank," said Jeremiah, "at that time I thought I was going crazy listening to you talk about flying saucers and secret experiments and aliens visiting earth. When you flashed that light in my eyes and made me see your werewolf body, I thought I must be hallucinating. So a lot of what you said just didn't stick. It took me a while to realize all this was really happening."
Frank laughed at this. "One gets used to things. That's one advantage humans have - they adapt quickly when they have to."
"Probably the secret of our success," Jeremiah said. "It's why I believe it's inevitable that we will colonize space. We're just too adaptable not to attempt it."

Frank nodded. "Do you think we will get into wars with all the aliens that already live on so many of the otherworlds."

"Not if it's their home planet. I think we'll respect that. But if it's a world that has no intelligent life and there is competition to colonize it, then let the wars begin!"

"Bloodthirsty goon, aren't you?"
"Well, what do you think would happen?" Jeremiah asked.

"We'd lose badly," said Frank. "Most aliens with space capabilities have the equivalent of navies that patrol those areas - keeps pirates and would-be conquerors on their toes."
Jeremiah spread his hands to emphasize his point. "We might lose with what we have now - in fact, I know we would since we don't have anything - but it won't always be that way. One day our space navy will be the equal of theirs."

Frank snorted. "You read too many comic books."
Jeremiah asks "Tell me, have you encountered hostile aliens?" Frank says "There are a lot of those, unless you mean a certain kind."
Jeremiah says "Have you ever seen Independence Day or War of the Worlds?"
Frank scoffed at this. "Tough luck for those types. Earth is Protected by no less than fifty different major Organizations, Alliances, Kingdoms, and Empires out there. At worst, this planet is a designated Refugee Zone - we give out Political Asylum to those seeking shelter. At best, it's one hell of Tourist Destination - see the humans who have yet to get past their moon."

"Still, what's to stop someone from blowing up, or trying to take over the planet?" Jeremiah asked.

"The same reason that the United States and the Soviet Union never actually came to blows - fear that it wouldn't be worth the trouble, especially when the other 40+ Organizations, Alliances, Federations, Kingdoms, and Empires would declare War on anyone that tried to claim this planet as theirs. One on one, each would be able to hold their own, but a 40+ on one fight, that one would lose, badly."

"So, no interference when we fight among ourselves, but major interference if another race tries to take us over?"

"Basically. Besides, Earth holds nothing of any real reason to most races out there - we're little more than pit stop to get a couple of burgers, some gas for the car, and a bathroom break, if you really want to rate Earth on the Galactic Scale. Nothing of interest, except to take a few pictures, buy a stupid t-shirt that should of cost $5 for $20, and maybe get some food to shut the kids up for a while."

"So, we're just a boring ball of dirt, and water?" Jeremiah asked.

Frank nodded. "I'm afraid so. Earth isn't anything special to most of these people."
"I guess that's a good thing," Jeremiah said, "for our own safety, but it does make me feel like an ignorant hillbilly."

Frank nodded. "And to think you would have never known about any of this if it hadn't been for that mermaid."

"Yeah. It's funny how your life can veer off in a completely new direction just because of some small incident that happens."
"Sometimes it's a small incident that changes everything," said Frank. "If my father hadn't been on that wharf that one night, he would of never met my mother, and I would not of been born. If I had never been born, I wouldn't have saved that general when his jeep tipped over on him, trapping him inside. If I hadn't done that, who knows what would of happened. The odds of it all happening; you'd have better luck just walking into each casino in Las Vegas, and winning all of their money."

"Say, has that ever happened?" Jeremiah asked.

Frank chuckled. "Once - some homeless dude saw a bunch of punks attacking a tall leprechaun - four feet tall or so - and defended him. The leprechaun thank him, gave him some money - the bum refused, but the leprechaun insisted - and that bum walked inside a casino a poor man, and walked out a multimillionaire, and managed to get all the money from ten casinos, through sheer luck - a pull of the tab, call of the dice, flip of the card - and won every time."

"What happened afterward?" Jeremiah asked.

"Donated most of the money to some of his other homeless friends, got himself a house, and cleaned up his life," said Frank. "Guy owns a car dealership now, and makes good money."

"Was he blacklisted from those places?" Jeremiah asked.

Frank grinned. "No, but they don't want him to play too often, as they still don't know how he pulls the trick off, because, while he losses like a few dozen time before he actually wins now - he losses a hundred dollars, but wins fifty times that."
"That would be a good skill to have," Jeremiah said. "But you know, money means a lot less to me now than it used to. I figure as long as I have enough to live decently I'm doing all right. I don't have any desire at all to be a millionaire."

"But you wouldn't turn down a million if somebody offered to give it to you, would you?" Sam asked.

"No, I guess I wouldn't, but I'm not daydreaming that anybody would ever do that."
"Doubt it," said Frank. "You make three times what you used to make, and all you have to do to earn it is do what you'd normally do, just with monsters and aliens."

"Say, do we ever have to test new things?" Jeremiah asked.

"Like what?"

"Like new armor for instance."

"Like the outfits we're currently wearing? Sometimes, but they always take safety precautions."

"How did they test the heat resistance part?" Jeremiah asked.

"Had a fire-type creature wear it, and see if he was safe to actually approach without protection," said Frank. "Same thing with the cold protection."
"I hope they don't have us testing any new types of bullet proof vests," Jeremiah said. "I don't want to get shot at."

"One thing I do wish they would let us test," Frank said, "is a flying car."

"A flying car?"

"Yeah, the Area 51 boys have been working on one for years but they are afraid to release it to the general public."
Frank says "I'm afraid they're not ready yet, the last flying car tested ended up crashing into a sand dune. They'll still working the kinks out of it."
"How hard can it be to fix it though?" Jeremiah asked.

"Something about aerodynamics and power conversion," said Frank. "Of course, that sort of stuff is not my specialty."
While Frank and Jeremiah had been talking, Terrence and Taurus had been going over every inch of the lab looking for any clues about Substance K or the growth dye.

"There's something over here," Terrence said. "I think it's a secret entrance to somewhere. What do you think?"

Jeremiah studied the wall Taurus was pointing at. They had pulled a bookcase away from it. Now there was a hairline crack visible in the shape of a small door. "It might be something," Jeremiah said. "Let's see if we can figure out how to open it."
Frank chuckled, as he looked at the bookcase. "It's fairly obvious."

"What do you mean?" Jeremiah asked.

Frank pointed at a book titled "Hidden in Plain Sight." "Pull on that, and I wager that the bookcase will revolve, or something."

"But, we just pulled the bookcase away," said Jeremiah.

"Not all the way," said Terrence. "Something is sticking near the bottom, and the middle."
They removed the specified book and sure enough the bookcase moved a little further, making a low groan as it did, and the hairline crack enlarged into a slot they could get their fingers into. When they pulled on it, the door came open to reveal a hidden room.

"This is an awfully small opening for a minotaur to go through," Jeremiah said.

Terrence snorted. "Just because we're thick in the chest doesn't mean we can't scrunch ourselves down when necessary. Watch." And he somehow managed to squeeze his huge bull body physique through the narrow opening. "Come on inside," he said. "It's bigger in here than you would think."

"But what's in there?" Jeremiah asked.

"You'll probably be surprised."
As they came in, the found that they are in some kind of storage chamber. Frank saw a metal canister with the label K. He picks it up. "This must be it."
"What are we going to do with it?" Jeremiah asked.

"Have someone more qualified handle it," said Frank.
"What else is in here?" Jeremiah asked. YThe shelvbes were crammed with goodies. "Hey, look! A shrunken head! I wonder if it's real."

"Maybe that was an experiment with Substance K that went wrong," Terrence said. "You know, shrinking instead of growing."

"But a head? Why did he put it on somebody's head? Nasty."

"Maybe it was an accident. The guy fell in it or something."
Jeremiah noticed a tag on the bottom of the head, it reads 'Ye Olde Curiosity Shop, Seattle Washington' "Uh Frank, this shrunken head is not from a failed experiment, but store bought."
"So long as it isn't real," said Frank. "Real ones freak the hell out of me."

"Well, given that they came off of a dead guy, they would be freaky," said Jeremiah.

"No, it's because they talk too much," said Frank.
"Huh?!" said Jeremiah. "Talk too much? Are you sure you weren't hallucinating, Frank? How can a shrunken head talk?"
Frank says "I don't know the real reason but my guess it's part of a Witch Doctor's curse."
"Say, just how do they shrink a person's head anyways?" Jeremiah asked. "Wouldn't the skull get in the way?"

"It would," said Frank. "Only, there isn't one. They are little more than leather pouches, albeit one made using the skin on a person's head."
"That reminds me," Jeremiah said, "of those purses made from bull testicles, or the skin of them anyway."

"Look at this," Terrence said. He had been examining the objects on the shelves of the secret storage room. He held up the thing that had attracted his interest.

"What is it?" Jeremiah asked.
"I'm not quite sure," said Terrence.
"Let me see that," said Frank. "Hmmm... you know what this might be? It may sound like a silly idea, but I don't think it's impossible."

"What?" Jeremiah said. "What do you think it is?"
Frank says "A steam powered jetpack."

Jeremaiah says "How can you power a jetpack on steam?"
"Seen crazier things," said Frank.

"Like what?" Jeremiah asked.

"A big pimple on my nose," said Frank. "Hurt like hell when my wife popped it. Sooner get shot at."
Taurus examined the 'jetpack'. "I think it's a steam-powered fruit juicer."

Terrence snatched it from him. "Give me that! Fruit juicer. I don't think so. It's a device for clearing your airways if you have trouble breathing. You sniff the steam."
Jeremiah tries the device and nearly chokes on the steam, as soon as he caught his breath, "I believe the device still needs work." Terrance says "It could be a prototype, even the best inventors make mistakes."
"Best not to try it then," said Frank. "Now, let's get what we need, and get going."
Once again they found themselves on a Lockheed Martin C-130J Super Hercules aircraft, this time headed for Monster City. The same Lt. Marco accompanied them. "Did you boys have fun in Greece?" he asked.

"Sure did," said Jeremiah. "It was a profitable trip." He patted the big suitcase by his feet that contained all the evidence they had taken from Doctor Longhorn's laboratory in the labyrinth.
As they landed, they were soon greeted by Gen. Knox, Lt. Marco saluted to him "Lt. Marco reporting for duty sir."
The general looked at Frank. "Find what you need?"

The werewolf looked at the human, who had a large number of medals pinned to his uniform. "You might want to polish that bronze star of yours," he said. "Or, should I say, mine?"

The general chuckled, as he looked at the medal. "Battle of the Bulge for this one. Destroyed a tank with a grenade, or so the official story goes."

Frank grinned. "That's right, Dickie. The tank had its main gun pointed right at you, all set to fire, when I rushed out of the woods, threw a grenade down the barrel, which then blew into pieces, saving your life, and killing the tank crew."

"The two of you were at the Battle of the Bulge?" Jeremiah asked.

"It was where we first met," said the General. "I was only a Private then."

"And now he's a General, though it's more honorary than anything, where the rest of the military is concerned," said Frank. "By rights, that title ought to be mine. After all, most of your medals rightfully belong to me."

Knox laughed at this. "Well someone had to take credit for your actions. I'm glad it was me."

"Let's go and talk over a cold one," said Frank. "This heat's getting to my fur."
"So what's the news?" asked Frank.

"The snail problem has grown worse," said General Knox.

"Worse? I thought we captured it."

"True," said Knox, "We captured that particular one and the lab boys have it under observation waiting for it to attempt to reproduce. However, apparently it already did that while it was in the lake."

"They've found baby snails in the lake?" asked Jeremiah.

"If you want to call them babies," said Knox. "One was found yesterday that was bigger than a 55-gallon drum. They know because they tried to put it in the drum and it wouldn't fit."

"How many of them do you think there are?"

"Nobody knows yet," said General Knox, "but a survey of the lake is being set up. We'll use sonar and map the entire lake and get a head count on these things."

"I'd get moving then," said Frank. "Regular snails can lay three hundred eggs in one go, or so my one son said during his mollusk biology course."

"Funny how things stay constant."
Knox rubbed his chin. "Three hundred would be a lot of cow-sized snails, wouldn't it? I imagine when they got to house-size, the lake would not be big enough to suit them. They would come lumbering out looking for new bodies of water to colonize."

"Not a pretty sight," Frank said, "but what could be easier to stop than a snail? One shot from a big gun and it's all over."

"Don't know for sure about that yet. They're testing the shell strength of the one we captured. Lab boys say it might be a lot tougher than you would expect."
"In that case, get a big net, and start fishing," said Frank.
The next day Knox had the head count of the snails in the lake. "Looks like you were right about the number. Guess what? She had two broods. That's a new batch of eggs every three months. There are 97 of the larger ones in the lake and 234 of a smaller size. We figure that's the second brood."

"What are you going to do?" Frank asked.

"Something radical: drain the lake. The heavy equipment headed down there this morning. They'll cut a channel around the dam."
Jeremiah asked "What about the underwater dwellers? Will that be fair to them?"
"They'll be temporarily relocated, as will the water," said Frank. "I'm sure our alien friends will be able to help us out with that."

"Still, won't the underwater dwellers complain?" Jeremiah asked, again.

"They might," said Frank. "But since the US military is footing the bill, they won't complain too loud."

"What will it cost?" Jeremiah asked.

"Easily twenty million dollars," said Frank.

"How are you going to cover that up?" Jeremiah asked.

"There's a reason that the US military pays $20 for a $2 cookie," said Frank.

Jeremiah blinked. "So, the reason for all the high bills is to cover up the cost for stuff like this?"

"Pretty much," said Knox. "Helps out that some of the bean counters are from around here."

© Copyright 2015 BIG BAD WOLF is hopping, Twiga, Steev the Friction Wizurd, jdstephens, Hertzman, xx-xx, Dr. Shrink, (known as GROUP).
All rights reserved.
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