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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2177865-Bah-Humbug-Rag-Err---Rant
by fyn
Rated: 18+ · Poetry · Emotional · #2177865
C.C. ---A rant; someone's stepping on my very last frayed nerve!
Theme:Bah Humbug! There's this marvelous room over here where one can (temporarily) crawl in, slam the door and, without getting into any trouble at all, let out all the holiday frustrations, people getting on your nerves (no names, now!) and just 'stuff' in general that is spazzing you out! There's things in here you can smash to smithereens (and will be magically repaired later) and throw at walls. Just a place to rant and get it out of your system so you can go back to being your normal, marvelous, holiday self!

Words to use: I want to hear things crashing and banging. I want to see stuff smashed to smithereens! What do you smash, bash and crash? How? With what?

If you rant and rave against a person … that person's name will be Cruella D'Vile or Ginchly Mc Green.
Against a company, use: Scrooge-a-zon.
Against a 'thing' - what ever the thing is.

Remember, all things broken will be fixed and it isn't 'really' that company or person you decimate, it's allllll in your mind. Walking out of the room, and all is as it was, you've just released the tension. :)


Rhyming or not, at least 28 lines, and go get rid of some tension :)



Bah Humbug Rag (Err - Rant)

I have this room where I can go
and I can decimate
Ginchly McGreen.
Splatter his guts and
hear him scream.

His picture
with his smarmy smile
is nailed to the wall.
I could spend a happy while
throwing darts:
I'd aim for his heart--
if he had one. But it's a start
and lots of fun!

Full of excuses
(something else is more like it!)
and brainwashing uses more energy
than he ever spends working--oh gee:
hasn't worked since his eldest was three!

He's way over weight,
ball of flab with feet--
but his wife skips meals
so the children can eat!

Take a baseball bat to the side of his head;
shards of bone and grey matter
turn the wall runny red.
Give him a plate and force-feed him his bull.
Down range from skeet shooter
and happily yell, "Pull!"

He's trapped and can't get out
and has to answer the questions I'm about
to fling at him. Every time he tries to lie,
I'd let another baseball fly.
(I use the glass-encrusted ones)
I bet they hurt and my aim is true--
He makes me so mad, I throw more, I do!

She doesn't believe when folks say he's lazy,
living off welfare, not holding a job--
she is blindly in love
with the blathering slob!

Can't even look at him--
brain-dead excuse for a man.
(In case you can't tell,
I am SO not a fan!)

Buy him a present?
Pure coinage waste.
Negative input.
Maybe ... hmmm ... some of that paste...

I could glue his mouth shut,
at least it'd be quiet.
Yeah, it'd be fun
if I only could try it!

I feel better now,
he's flattened and cowed--
I can go be nice now
(as that's all that's allowed.)






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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/2177865-Bah-Humbug-Rag-Err---Rant