The Big Bad Wolf

The big bad wolf was not himself,
he realized right away.
He had dressed up in Grandma’s clothes
to hide his furry gray.

He looked into the mirror then
and much to his surprise,
he saw someone he never knew.
He couldn’t believe his eyes.

That nightgown looked so nice on him.
He liked the bonnet too.
But he would need some bigger shoes,
these ones just wouldn’t do.

He rummaged through the closet then
to find some fancy clothes.
You couldn’t wear nightclothes outside,
as everybody knows.

But first he looked into the drawers
to find some underwear.
He pulled some panties from on top,
a very skimpy pair.

He was surprised what Grandma wore.
He never would have guessed.
He never thought what she might don
beneath that simple dress.

The panties were a little tight,
but he did like the feel.
He wouldn’t need a bra, of course,
although it had appeal.

And then he found the perfect dress,
with satin and some lace.
He thought the color was just right.
It made his big heart race.

Just then he heard the doorbell ring
and froze right where he stood.
He then remembered who it was -
that Little Red Riding Hood.

He’d planned this moment for so long
and now the time was here.
How could he answer the front door
in Grandma’s underwear?

With Grandma hidden out of sight,
the wolf was all alone.
He’d locked her in a basement room.
She didn’t have a phone.

The wolf peeked out the window then
and caught a glimpse of red.
He ran into Grandma’s bedroom
and jumped into her bed.

He tried to make his voice sound right;
he’d practiced it before.
He called out to the little girl
to open up the door.

The bonnet that he first put on
was still upon his head.
He pulled the covers way up high
and slouched down in the bed.

Red Riding Hood came in the room
and saw him lying there.
He didn’t look like Grandma did.
Oh no, not even near.

“Why Grandma, what big ears you have,”
she told him with a smile.
She knew he was the big bad wolf.
She knew it all the while.

The wolf could see he was found out.
There wasn’t any doubt.
He told her that Grandma was safe.
He’d go and let her out.

And when he got out of the bed
she then saw what he wore.
The wolf just smiled sheepishly
as he walked to the door.

The wolf apologized to them.
He said he was ashamed.
He said he wasn’t really bad,
not like some folks had claimed.

You shouldn’t trust those little pigs
no matter what they spoke.
He never meant them any harm.
That all was just a joke.

Then Grandma noticed what he wore
and she tried not to grin.
Those panties didn’t do the job.
They were stretched mighty thin.

She said she’d take him to the mall
to get a better size.
She’d say that it was for herself
so no one would be wise.

So now they shop most every week
at the women’s clothing store.
That wolf is now a cross-dresser,
not scary any more.

In fact, he is in town each week
where he puts on a show.
He’s singing karaoke now.
… I guess you never know.