Richard's Retirement Bash Award Ceremony

Before I Get Down To Business Just Let Me State For The Record —
I "draw into the mouth by contracting the muscles of the lip and mouth to make a partial vacuum" At Judging Contests!

I Want To THANK Everyone Who Entered The "Richard's Retirement Bash"   at
"Invalid Item" !

The Three Miscreants (me) had a very hard time picking winners, finally, Andre stepped in to force the issue. Last night Andre threatened to cut off Grumpy's, Pubby's and Anony's bar tabs and to demand immediate payment of all outstanding funds unless they settled this.

Well, let me tell you, that got both their attention and reaction!

This guy finally opened one eye long enough to pass me a note;

"So, without further ado, a drum roll please" —

"Ahem!" I said, "a drum roll please"

Andre tosses a not ripe banana at the stage, which bounces off the floor tom-tom,
hits the cymbal before striking the sleeping drummer in the chops.
Startled, the drummer throws his sticks in the air before starting a drum roll with his fingers.

"Um, yeah, thanks." Shaking my head, I read from Grumpy's note. The first Award, in the category of BITEM – Comedy, goes to;

(drum roll ends with a cymbal crash)

Lornda~ House of Martell ~ for

STATIC

A Bash for Richard  (18+) A mystery surrounds a retirement party. #2253113 by Lornda~ House of Martell ~

(drum roll resumes, with sticks – at least the drummer's awake now!)

The next award is for best BITEM – Drama and the award goes to;

Writer_Mikefor

STATIC

Terminated  (18+) You never know what you'll see at a bar, especially Andre the Blog Monkey's Banana Bar. #2253132 by Writer_Mike

(drum roll resumes, yadda, yadda)

And, now the BITEM – Best Animal Feature Award;

(the drummer is ogling Luscious Lucy and misses the cut off cue, earning yet another Banana to the kisser)

The Award Goes to;

Showering Dutchessbarbie. and Buddy the Service Dog for

Monkey Roundup at Richard's Island  (13+) My service dog Buddy plays Roundup with Monkeys at Richard's Retirement Bash. Enjoy! #2252961 by Showering Dutchessbarbie.

(the drummer is all business now!)

Now a Special Award For Bitem – Historical Continuity, and the winner in this category

QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham for

STATIC

Mon-Key-Ing Around  (E) For Richard's Retirement Party #2252903 by QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham

(the drummer earns a dirty look from Andre for starting this drum roll with a two-bar solo riff)

Moving onto the Awards for Blog Entries, the first award is for Blog Entry – Best Community Involvement and Best Multimedia Presentation, and the winner is;

The Award goes to

Elycia Lee ☮ for

"Celebrating Richard's Retirement at Andre's Pub" 

And finally, the Award for Blog Entry – Handling A Delicate Subject Most Tastefully, the winner is;

🌸 pwheeler - love joy peace for

"Richard's Retirement Riot" 

(the drummer is relieved this ordeal is finally over and rushes to the bar to buy Luscious Lucy a couple of big mugs of beer)

Andre says to tell your checks are in the mail —