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 |  Chaos is that voice at the end of the day that says, "Bet you didn't see that coming." |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "It turns out that an eerie type of chaos can lurk just behind a facade of order - and yet, deep inside the chaos lurks an even eerier type of order" ~Douglas Hostadter I imagine that chaos and order are like those Russian nesting dolls, and they fit together to some infinitesimally minute level at which we must just give up ever grasping what lies at the core. Still . . . if I had to bet, my money would be on chaos. "Our real discoveries come from chaos, from going to the place that looks wrong and stupid and foolish." ~Chuck Palahniuk I know that place well . . . every wrong, stupid, and foolish acre of it! I used to think it was a dead end, or worse, a complete navigational failure, but sometimes that place was exactly were I needed to be. So what does any of this have to do with me, my blog, or the entries that will follow? I don't know, but pull up a chair. I'll invite some chaos, and we'll see what happens. "It's a cruel and random world, but the chaos is all so beautiful." — Hiromu Arakawa |
| Seriously, I expect maybe the police will send in a hostage negotiation team on my family's behalf. They'll surround the house, and then bravely move in . . . slowly . . . trying not to make any unsettling sudden moves. I, of course, will try to explain myself. "I moved into a fixer-upper twelve years ago. Twelve and a HALF years ago! After twelve years you aren't living in a fixer-upper anymore. You're living in a dump. I don't want to live in a dump anymore. I just want . . . I just want some decent flooring. Is that really so much to ask." They'll respond calmly, and attempt to talk me down. "Just put the tape measure down lady and step away from flooring samples." Then I could go all Steve Martin on them. Remember "The Jerk?" "All I want is some decent flooring. That's all I need to be happy . . . and new counter tops. Just the flooring the counter tops, and a ceiling fan. That's all I need . . ." We've tried. I mean, we actually had professional installers come out and measure the kitchen once upon a time ago. They discovered that our stove was (ridiculously) hard wired, and they said we would need to have an outlet installed so that the stove could be moved before they could do the floor. We had the electrician take care of that about five years ago, but then some car disaster came up and the floor money was eaten in car repairs. That's the way this has always worked. Just when we work up some enthusiasm for a project, something bursts our little bubble. Funny thing though, since I've been shopping for a new kitchen floor for better than a decade, I have witnessed first hand the evolution of flooring products. There are more DIY options available now than ever before. If only I was handy! I think things might finally come together though. I found a cool floor that is supposedly easy to install. Idiot-proof. I'm going to test their claims against my idiocy (though I'm not sure that's a fair match). I bought three cartons of the stuff and spent the weekend laboriously scraping up the old damaged flooring in the foyer. We are acclimating the flooring which we are supposed to do for 48 hours. Tomorrow, something around here will be getting laid.  As if that weren't enough, I've been measuring the kitchen counter tops and Googling questions like "How hard is it to relocate a dishwasher from one side of the sink to the other." What if I ripped out and replaced just the base cabinets. And then there is the bathroom. Then today, on my way home from work, the car gave a funny little stutter and the check engine light came on. I'd say that's that, but this particular song seems to be playing as a loop.  |
| Woke up this morning to a winter wonderland. It would be one thing if it was still winter, but I believe I heard some loose talk about the arrival of spring. Unlike Monday's wintry mix that closed schools for the day, this is a bona fide accumulation of the white stuff. Even my office is closed until 11AM. I think the county has pretty well exhausted their budget for snow removal this season. I didn't wake up to the sounds of the snow plow this morning. The part that is truly demoralizing is that they are calling for more snow tonight. I live on a road that "T"s and since I'm on a corner the plow usually makes multiple passes in the process. Maybe by the time the snow melts, I'll have magically learned to ride my new bike with flawless efficiency. Maybe the late snow will kill off all the nasty garden pests and give me a beautiful -though somewhat delayed- spring. Maybe. . . But for now I need to get off the computer and get some breakfast and maybe some hot chocolate. |
| Today was a beautiful day, so I decided to ride my brand spanking new bicycle to work rather than drive. The problem is, this fancy new bike of mine has 21 gears. My previous bike had none. The last bike I had with gears was a 10 speed that I got when I was 14 or 15 years old. It had the curvy handles and complicated levers and I don't think anyone ever explained anything to me about gears or shifting, so I don't know that I ever actually rode that bike. Instead, I gave up bike riding altogether for the next decade or so. Eventually, while down at the beach I discovered the joy of an old-fashioned cruiser bike with the coaster breaks. I bought one cheap at the end of the season from a bike rental place, and have gotten a lot of enjoyment out of that bike at the beach where there is a pronounced lack of hills. Unfortunately, I can't ride the damn thing around home because I live in the mountains - or at least the East coast equivalent of mountains - and things are decidedly hilly. The bike conversation has been a recurring sign of spring rating right up there with the sighting of the first robin, crocus blooms, and my grandiose illusions of growing vegetables. Every year there is a discussion that goes something like this. Me: I'd really like to get a bike that I can actually ride around here. Tony: I'd like to get a new bike too. A good one this time. My bike is falling apart. Me: Well I don't really need a good one. I don't know if I'll be able to figure out how to make the gears work. I don't want to go overboard on something fancy that I can't figure out how to ride. Tony: If you get a bike, get a good one with serviceable components otherwise you're just wasting money. That's what I need instead of the piece of crap bike I ride. Now, Tony has been bitching about his piece of crap bike for at least five years. The seat has degraded to where the entire surface is now a giant duct tape patch, but none of the replacement seats on the market will fit the bike. Year after year though, Tony continues to ride the crap bike, and I year after year I shy off the notion of getting a "good bike" I might not ride. Well, this year it went down a little differently. I started to research bikes in that endearingly obsessive way that seems to be my genetic birthright. I decided that I did not want a super-fast road bike, and I really didn't want or need anything as rugged as a mountain bike. I just wanted something that was comfortable, that allowed me to sit more up-right, and that was versatile enough for road, trail, or field. I wanted something easy to shift. Tony, of course, wanted a new bike too, so last weekend, the two of us went to a small, local bike shop, and we shopped. I test drove two bikes. The first one confused me. I could figure out how to shift up, but not how to downshift. It also lacked front suspension and was kind of hard and unforgiving. The second bike was everything I wanted, and I decided to go for it. Tony also found his dream bike. It was actually a used bike that the store was selling on consignment and he got a great deal on it. I opted to have them add a rack to the back of my bike so that I could carry my stuff on it when I rode to work, so it was a couple days later before we actually picked up the bikes. While I was waiting for the bike to be ready, I had another detail to work out. We don't have a bike rack at work, so where was I going to park my bike. I could chain it to a light post in the parking lot and hope for the best, but (1) the people I work with cannot drive and would likely crush my bike if it were in the parking lot and (2) we've had problems with vandalism and other mischief in our parking lot. I don't know if you all remember my blog entry about someone steeling tires off the agency vehicles, but I really didn't want to go out at the end of the day and find my bike up on concrete blocks. I called over to HR and asked there advise on safe bike parking. The response surprised me some. "Do you have room in your office for it?" Well, I do (barely), but I didn't really think anyone would look kindly upon my bringing a bike into the office. I guess it never hurts to ask though. I was feeling much better about my bike to work plans after that, and all I needed was for the weather to cooperate. When I saw the forecast for today (high of 67!  ) I told Tony to set the alarm for an earlier wake up. I was going to bike to work.This was a great idea in theory, and I had ridden the bike successfully up and down the road behind the bike shop with no major problems. The thing is, I still hadn't received any instruction on how the gear thing really worked. I mean, I knew how to work the mechanism on the handle bar to change gears, I just didn't know when to do it or what gear I needed to be in for the different terrain I might encounter. It would not be possible for me to overstate my ignorance. My ignorance is so vast as to be inconceivable to the entire bike-riding world including my dearly beloved husband who promised to love me til death do us part and who above all people SHOULD KNOW ME BETTER than to think I'm going to hop on a bike and just figure it out. He helped me pack my stuff into the ultra fancy panniers attached to the bike rack, and handed me a bike helmet. I didn't really want to wear the helmet, but I didn't really want to risk death so I put it on like a good girl and started to pedal away while my bike made strange clicking noises. "It sounds like you are in-between gears," Tony called after me. I hit the breaks and yelled back at him, "what does that mean and what hell am I supposed to do about it?" His expression grew dubious and he shook his head "I'm sure it's nothing. Just try shifting." I shifted, but he hadn't said whether I should shift up or down. Did I shift on the right or left or both? Why couldn't he be more specific? I took a stab at it and shifted up on the right, but the noise continues so I jammed on the breaks and turned to yell back at him. Without pausing to listen he waved me on "Just go. I'm sure it's nothing." Whatever. I shifted down because there is an incline leading up to the stop sign, at the top our road, and I was a little daunted by making a left onto the busy road. This might have been less terrifying if I was in the right gear, but I'd shifted down for the hill, and now I was on level ground and when I started to pedal there was no resistance and my feet slipped off the pedal as I entered the intersection, but I recovered the pedals, and I did not die. It's all about the little victories. The next intersection was scarier. It is a bad intersection on a busy road, and again, I wasn't in the right gear to get the rapid acceleration I was hoping for. Instead, I wobbled across the intersection causing cars to brake and drivers to undoubtedly shake their heads and possibly their fists. But again, I didn't die, and I was through the worst part of the ride traffic-wise. After that, it was all down-hill - expect for the parts that were up hill! The first significant hill caught me off guard. I didn't have any idea what gear would make it easier to pedal up the hill. I tried a number of different gears while my legs quads screamed out for mercy. I finally gave up and hopped off the bike and walked it up the hill. At the next hill I told myself DOWNSHIFT for the hill. I put the bike in the lowest gear, and I was pushing the pedals in this tiny little round and round, but it didn't seem to be getting me anywhere. Something was wrong, but was it me or the bike? I walked the bike up that hill too, and maybe a couple others. I got to work relatively on time, and parked my bike in the office. I texted Tony to let him know I hadn't died, but that it hadn't gone as smoothly as I'd hoped. After a few texts back and forth, he agreed to ride out to my office and ride back home with me in the afternoon for some coaching. I felt kind of like a fraud all day with my beautiful new bike sitting in my office making the place smell vaguely like rubber and stirring up a steady stream of bike envy. I felt quite silly thinking about how I'd bought this bike and taken it out on the busy roadways without knowing how to ride it. Fortunately Tony came as promised and rode home with me. Unfortunately, his coaching wasn't all that helpful. When I faded on the first hill even after following all of his instructions to downshift into the lowest possible gear, I told him that I must be doing something wrong because it didn't seem like it should be that hard. He said something very ungracious like "well, when was the last time you tried riding up a hill on a bike. You're probably just out of shape for it." Then, on the next hill when I told him I thought it was easier if I didn't shift all the way down he said "yeah, you really need to just play with it and figure out what works best for you." So much for helpful coaching. I think I did better on the trip home though. I did not enter any intersections in the wrong gear, and I managed to make it up most of the hills without having to practice my dismount. The national weather service is forecasting a "wintry mix" on Monday into Tuesday, so it looks like I'll be back to driving. |
| I received the following severe weather alert by email at work today. It was issued by the state office . Presently, the National Weather Service has reported that the eastern two thirds of the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania is expected to receive three to four inches of rain through Friday, March 12, 2011. The heavy rainfall combined with saturated soil conditions and residual snow melt will likely result in flooding of low lying areas . The alert goes on to warn of the potential for hazardous travel, widespread power outages, food shortages, riots and looting, and an possible cholera epidemic. Or we might just get really wet. Better to be safe than sorry though right. Good thing I've still got all this plastic sheeting and duct tape. I can make a poncho. Speaking of which, this lovely weather happens to coincide with the high school's decision to crack down in enforcing the dress code which prohibits students from wearing outwear in school. Never mind that the school is in the midst of major renovations and half the classes are being held in portable classrooms across the parking lot from the main building. I think that the school was misinformed that spring had arrived, but I think this is pretty much par for the course in this school district. This is, after all, the same school district that scheduled the standardized testing (upon which all their funding relies) for the Monday following the spring forward to daylight savings time. And then they send home all these fliers telling us to make sure the children are well rested and fed a nourishing breakfast that morning. I envision Monday morning going something like this. "Oh Shit! Is it really 7:15? Hurry up and get dressed quick. I guess you're buying today. No time to pack lunch. Get your shoes on. Here's a Pop Tart, you can eat it at the bus stop." Note to self: Pack a lunch Sunday night. |
| The spring cleaning bug finally infected me and not a moment too soon. Suddenly I'm finding the motivation and even the desire to sort through, toss out and organize. I want to set things in the proper order and deal with the loose ends I've left hanging. I even spent some time outside today cleaning up a flower bed. It is a chore I should deal with in the fall, but never do. By fall the gardens are usually so blighted and beleaguered that I've run up the white flag and laid aside the hoe, spade, pruners, deer repellent, Round up, and other implements of war. There is no such thing as a truce in gardening; there is only war or complete, unconditional surrender. Fall is about surrender. I save the warfare for the spring when my suspension of disbelief allows me to envision my gardens lush, properly staked against the plentiful rains, and free from pesky weeds and pests. Ever the dreamer . . . Today, I also cut a swath through the paper clutter indoors. I began and nearly completed my tax return. I still need a couple things from Tony, but it will have to wait until he gets back from Erie tomorrow. Hopefully he can find the receipts for his professional liability insurance and continuing ed. credits. He is not a good record keeper. This week, Tony and I got a chest freezer for the laundry room. I've been wanting one for years. It is pretty exciting to have the option of stocking up on things while they are on sale instead of always having to limit myself based on the availability of freezer real estate. So I've also been cleaning, and purging the fridge and freezer as I transfer things into the new freezer. I feel like I've also been dusting the cob webs from my mind and purging some of the mental clutter as well. We'll see where that gets me.  Hope everyone else is having a good weekend. |
| There are moments in life when I shake my head, and wonder how and when I landed in a Benny Hill skit. Today held such a moment. I have been doing a series of trainings for the case managers along with Denise who is the director of the case management unit. Denise and I made the hour long drive to our satellite office. Denise was born and raised in Queens, and has a significant New York accent. She and I are pretty close in that I recently provided a character reference for her application to carry a concealed handgun. That's a true sign of friendship I think. The drive was slow. We got stuck behind a truck with its four-ways flashing. We had to wait our turn when a lane was closed for road repairs. At each delay we commented that it was a good thing we left early and gave ourselves plenty of extra time, but by the time we arrived, we'd eaten up all that extra time. Anyway, we got to the office plaza which had a strip of identical looking buildings. The signs all seemed to be buried behind the five foot ridge of plowed snow, and neither of us could remember which building "our" office was actually in. I was distracted by the dilemma of determining a direction/course of action when Denise commented, "Ah, that wind feels so cold." Abruptly she started to shriek "Omigod! Look at me!" I turned to see what was wrong. Denise was wearing a nice tailored blue and white striped blouse, but it was unbuttoned down to the band of her overly exposed bra. Denise had a binder in one hand, and bag in the other. She seemed to be dumbstruck because she just kept standing there with her laden arms outspread shrieking as she gazed in astonishment at her state. "Look at me. No wonder I felt cold!" I was nearly doubled-over with laughter by the time she re-grouped enough to set her things down on the hood of the car and start buttoning herself back in. And that is when the wind picked up, blew the binder open and sent the carefully collated training handouts flying across the parking lot. Cue the Benny Hill music! Denise and I both took chase; her frantically trying to finish the buttoning, and me, kind of useless since my hands were full and I wasn't going to set my binder down for fear of a similar fate. So I chased down and stomped the papers into submission. We gathered things back together as best we could, and amazingly enough picked the correct building to approach. After that things improved and the training went off without a hitch. The laughter and levity of getting from the car to the building put us in good humor and I think that enhanced the overall training experience for everyone. Although, we did get funny looks when we had to hand out training certificates with wet, cindered, boot prints on them. Completely unrelated, last night the boy-child said to me "Tomorrow is March. It's like the start of a new 30 day trial." I'd never quite thought of it that way. "But March has 31 days." "Yes. You get an extra day free just for trying it out." He cracks me up. Here's hoping that the month isn't too trying! |
| I've been dealing with a stomach virus for the past 36 hours or so, and decided I needed to stay home from work today. I was feeling aggravated that I have things that need my attention and yet I have no focus to attend to those things. I have a final exam to complete this week, and I still need to get my taxes done, but instead, I occupied my listless mind with a book and brief intervals of television. Of course, the television didn't do a lot to ease my mind since every third commercial seemed to deal with tax preparation services or software. I got to thinking about advertising and the conventional wisdom that sex is used to sell everything. Well I've decided that this, along with most conventional wisdom, is just plain wrong. Obviously the folks advertising tax related products have not resorted to the lows of using sex to sell their products. Possibly because taxes, the IRS, and potential audits are all proven boner-shrinkers. I respect that even though I think Turbo Tax might be missing the boat. Imagine if you will a commercial in which a man and woman are sitting next to each other on the sofa. The camera in tight so as to only reveal them from the waist up. Both man and woman appear to be gazing at his lap with looks of puzzled disappointment. The disembodied voice of Madison Ave. asks, “Are you feeling frustrated? Disappointed? Wishing it was bigger? That you could do more with it? Well you can make it bigger.” The camera pans out and we see that he has a 1040 EZ tax form laying across his lap. "With Turbo Tax we’ll help you maximize your refund. We guarantee you’ll both be satisfied." Woman smiles suggestively at man and flips open a laptop which brings up the Turbo Tax website and the voice concludes “Turbo Tax because bigger is better.” |
| I have one of those daily Dilbert cartoon calendars on my desk at work. Fridays Dilbert cartoon was about a new guy in the office, and not wanting to get too attached to him because he is tall and won't be around for very long. In the last panel, you see tall guy leaning over the cubicle wall to talk to his co-workers. It wasn't all that funny, and I'm sure my summary made it all the more un-funny, but here's the thing. Friday was the last day at work for the new guy in our office. He didn't even last til his 6 month performance review. And . . . he's tall and annoys people by talking to them over the cubicle walls. So, that cartoon coming up on that day made it extremely funny. I guess funny is all about context. Anyway, the whole thing - if that can even qualify as a "thing"- got us talking about synchronicity. I was a little out of my league in truth because when the subject came up all I could think of was the album released by The Police in the early 80's featuring the hit single "Every Breathe you Take" which made having a stalker seem so very sexy. Well, turns out that synchronicity was a concept put forward by Carl Jung during the 1920's. I've always kind of liked Jung and his idea of the collective unconscious. I wish I had been involved in psychology back in the day when it was dominated by philosophical types who observed humanity and then developed various theories to explain, describe, or predict behavior without going to a lot of bother of proving anything. What we can imagine is so much more interesting than what we can prove. But I digress. Where was I? Jung and synchronicity. Okay, so according to that great authority Wikipedia, Synchronicity is the experience of two or more events, that are apparently causally unrelated or unlikely to occur together by chance, that are observed to occur together in a meaningful manner. Or if you prefer the Skeptics dictionary has the following to say on the subject "His notion of synchronicity is that there is an acausal principle that links events having a similar meaning by their coincidence in time rather than sequentially. He claimed that there is a synchrony between the mind and the phenomenal world of perception." Wikipedia also has a great diagram illustrating the concept of synchronicity which I will attempt to approximate here: indestructible energy  | | | causality  -------------------------------------- synchronicity| | |  spacetime continuum Predictably, I get lost when the spacetime continuum enters into the discussion, but when I can't sleep this week, you'll know what I'm laying awake thinking about. Okay, I'm half joking, but only half. I do like to think about these things. Though I'm sure the aptly timed cartoon was a coincidence rather than a message from the universe, there are other things that make we wonder. I guess it all goes back to the chaos thing again. Are things really as random as they seem or is there an underlying order? |
| Today the sun was shining and temperatures edged up into the 50's! It was as if spring smacked us all up-side the head and everyone was walking around a bit stunned by it all. It was difficult to drive home from work this evening because the road I take was bottle-necked with bikes, strollers, dog-walkers, joggers, and skateboarders. You could feel the juices starting to flow again after all the snow and cold weather. It was incredible. I know that today was a tease and we'll be back to winter before I can say "inspirational sweater society" ten times fast, but I still enjoyed it - just like any good tease I suppose. Popping back into writing.com must have done me some good. I had a strange, but interesting dream last night, and I woke up thinking what a good story it would make. Inspiration seems to have found me. |
| I was scrolling through the playlists on my iPod at work today and I've decided that blog entries aren't the only thing I have trouble naming. To assure you that I'm not exaggerating, here is a sampling of the playlists on my iPod. 80s flashback Sap and such More Sap Happy stuff Good stuff More good stuff Not crap Crap I'm embarrassed to like Workout tunes Mellow stuff Driving Driving II Driving III New Stuff stripped ass-kickery Covers Classic Good stuff You see my point. So is the problem just lack of inspiration or laziness. Is there a difference? I'm not really sure, but I feel like I've gotten stuck in a rut (or series of ruts), and if I don't shake things up somehow, I will remain dull and uninspired. So how do you shake things up when you are feeling uninspired? It's like a chicken and the egg thing. I went to the mall tonight and bought a sweater on sale. With the coupon I had, I got it for $3.20. Maybe the sweater will inspire me. Maybe not. It'll probably be too warm for a sweater tomorrow. They are calling for temps in the 50's. |
| Twenty-one days into the new year, I'm finally getting in my first post of 2011. It isn't that I haven't started entries, I just haven't been able to string together enough thoughts to form a whole that was in any way worth posting. This time may not prove to be any different. Twenty-one days into the new year, and it has already started to lose that new year smell. The Christmas tree came down this year in nearly record time, and any remaining vestige of new year resolve have wisped away like a puff of breath on a cold winter morning. Either the new habits have taken shape or they haven't, but attempts have been made, battles fought, and the slate irrevocably smudged. I started off the year thinking I would get back in the habit of exercising. I have. I wanted to eat more vegetables. I am. I vowed to drink more water and less Diet Coke. I'm down to one Diet Coke per day. Not bad, right? A new and improved Kay. Ha! Well, I kind of hoped that all these healthy changes would erase a few pounds that crept up on me toward the end of last year, but the scale is creeping the wrong direction. I've gained three pounds this week, and judging from how my head feels, it is all in my sinuses! Maybe Diet Coke is what supported my immune system through all the years I shunned the virtues of vegetables and favored processed foods with a chaser of caffeine and stress? Maybe quitting the stuff is just cutting myself off at the knees. I mean, who am I if I'm not the chick running to the store ahead of the blizzard and bypassing the bread, milk, and eggs to lay in a supply of Diet Coke. But that's probably just the sickness talking. So it's January, and through a scheduling error, I'm currently doubled up with on-line classes. I'm not finding that too difficult though. I know this is going to sound like a terribly snotty, elitist thing to say, but the most difficult thing about the courses is participating in the mandatory discussion boards. It can be challenging to find a thoughtful, intelligent post to respond to. It makes me realize how spoiled I've been with the quality of interaction on this site. I guess it doesn't stand out so much when you don't venture into the vast beyond, but given my new level of exposure, I have a far greater appreciation for the contributions of members of this site, both past and present. I might not have the time I once had available for making the rounds on wdc, but I'm still glad to have a place here. And before I forget, Happy New Year. |
| The problem with being a civil servant who's salary is paid with public dollars has a couple significant down sides. The first is that there is no such thing as "merit pay." It doesn't really matter if you do a stellar job, you will still get the same pitiful cost of living increase as everyone else. If I'm really lucky, my annual "raise" will be enough to offset the increase in health insurance. That's not what I want to write about though. No, I want to write about the other downside. We aren't supposed to have fun. Apparently, if we are having fun, then we are not giving the tax payers there money's worth. Everyone jokes about how miserable the people at the DMV are, but let's face it, if they were happy or even vaguely satisfied you'd suspect that somehow they had it a little too good. Hence, our office is not allowed to have a holiday party in the traditional sense. We have a Holiday Training. We have a training budget that allows for the purchase of food, and they try to find training topics that are . . . festive. Anyway, yesterday was our Holiday Training. It was nice to be out of the office, but I wasn't too happy to arrive and find place cards. They decided to do a randomized seating arrangement to try to force some mingling. At least they claimed it was random. I thought some of the seating had a distinctly punitive odor. I must have made Santa's nice list though. I had several people at my table that I would chose to sit with and no one I would have gone out of my way to avoid. You know things are going to be interesting when the first order of business at the table is to establish a "safe word." Our safe word was Tennessee, and it got plenty of use when the conversation threatened to become overly graphic. I have a day off tomorrow and plan to go out and do some Christmas shopping. I have a lot to do in order to get ready for Christmas, but the tree is up and mostly decorated. I let the kids take charge of hanging the ornaments, so this year all the homemade ornaments seem to be on the front of the tree instead of being discretely tucked toward the back. In other news, I started my class on Monday, and the syllabus was reassuring. There aren't any research papers in this class, just weekly quizzes, discussion board participation, a mid-term and a final. This I can manage. I am also happy that I might be able to fulfill a few more requirements with transfer credits. I'm gathering information on course descriptions to submit for further consideration. Every little bit will help get me there that much quicker. Apparently the Farmer's Almanac predicted that this winter would be exceptionally cold but with below average snow fall. So far, the cold part seems to be dead on, but with so many places setting snowfall records, I think maybe it isn't exactly dead on. We had a skiff of snow on the ground this morning, but so far we haven't seen anything significant, and the long range forecast doesn't suggest that will change anytime soon. I've been whittling down my portfolio so I can drop down to a upgraded membership when I expire next week. I'd forgotten what I even had in there, and a lot of it is crap, but there are a few pieces of writing in there that seem genuinely inspired, and I have to wonder where it comes from and where it goes. |
| Well Nano is officially over, and I finished with just over 36,000 words. I will continue to plug away at my novel, but I have a feeling it will have to shift to the back burner soon. It turns out I'll be started my next round of classes on Sunday. I had planned on taking my next class starting at the beginning of January, but due to some financial aid quirks I don't yet fully understand, I can't take a class starting in January unless I ALSO registered for a class starting in December. So that's what I did, and for four weeks in January I will be juggling two classes at the same time which should be interesting. On the bright side, it will get me two classes closer to finished by the end of February. Taking a class in December should not impede my holiday enjoyment. It isn't like I'm taking another Math class after all. This is a child development class, and I've taken child development before, so it should be a walk in the park. I decided tonight that I'd like a Kindle for Christmas. Tony was pretty surprised since I've been an outspoken advocate of the simple tactile pleasures of physical books. It's like trading off the odd slot machines that allow you to pull a lever for the new ones where you just push a button. But the reality is that most of my text books are available to me at no cost as ebooks, and reading large amounts of text on the computer screen is both uncomfortable and impractical for me. With an ereader, my problem is solved. Tony seemed very happy about it, so I think he probably had no idea what to get me for Christmas and now he's relieved. It's a win-win. |
| As of today, I'm officially throwing in the Nano towel. I tried. I made it to a little over 31K, but there is no way I'll get to 50K by the 30th, and truth is, I don't want to spend my Thanksgiving weekend tied to a computer. I still intend to finish the book. I believe the story is worthwhile. It is just going to take longer than the 30 days. According to the word count meter, at my current rate, I should hit 50,000 words around mid December. So there it is. Not failure, but not success. |
| I'm a little behind on my Nano word count. I expect I'll be further behind after today, but I plan to catch up over the weekend then. Strange things are taking shape with my novel and if I'm not careful the whole thing could come apart at the seams. The thing is, I needed to come up with a motive for my main character to leave everything behind, move across the country, and get involved in the life of a troubled teen. I came up with a secondary story line that I thought would provide the catalyst I needed, and as I started writing it, I really got into the story line. The problem is, there is no way this is a secondary story line. It is the story! I guess I may be able to shelve the other scenario and make that a sequel. So suddenly, what I had planned as a trilogy is turning into an open ended series. Go figure. In other news, this is Tony's first drill weekend. He reports for duty at 7:30 tomorrow morning. So there you have it. Things are just rolling along. |
| Nano will officially begin for me in the next five minutes. The beginning of my story is going to be weak. It might be irredeemably weak, but that a problem for another day. For now, the point is to jump in with both feet and spew forth words. Hopefully those words will eventually add up to a story with characters, tension, conflict, and resolution. If I can work in some laughs, all the better. Good luck to all the other Nano-ers! |
| Today I was introduced to the concept of Trunk-or-treat. Seems that in lieu of traditional, and potentially dangerous door to door Trunk-or-treating, the grown-ups of the world have decided to take a bit of fun and turn it into an organized, structured, closely supervised activity. Sigh. The idea of Trunk-or-treating is that a school or church hosts the event in cordoned off parking lots. Participants arrive with costumed children and pop their trunks which contain an offering of candy, and sometime decorations and such. Kids trick-or-trunk from car to car to collect as much loot as possible with the least amount of effort. We wouldn't want the little dears to have to trudge about a neighborhood walking block after block and getting a bit of exercise in the pursuit of all that candy. Heavens NO! That's dangerous! I don't know. Maybe it's just sour grapes because they didn't have this when my kids were little and my friends who all waited til later to start their families are raising kids in what seems like an alternate universe with things like full day kindergarten, and Trunk-or-treating, and how about all the online forums for parents and parents-to-be. My kids aren't that old, but it is an entirely different world. Forget about comparing it to when I was a kid. My daughter and her friends went to a corn maze and they accessed Google Earth on one of their smart phones to find there way out. What the hell?!! When I think back on all the years of trick-or-treating though, I can honestly say I wouldn't trade it for all the Trunk-or-treating in the world. My kids learned important social skills while trick-or-treating. They learned to respect property and stay on the sidewalks instead of cutting through flowerbeds. They learned to knock on the door, wait patiently, and say thank you. They learned to watch out for and avoid trampling the littler ones. They learned to make polite conversation with the older folks who had no idea what a Pokemon was, and they learned not to walk into people's houses. Okay, Zack learned that last one the hard way! One year he kept trying to walk into the houses when they opened the front door. His sister physically prevented him from walking in to most of them, and we kept telling him over and over to wait on the front step and NOT to go in the house, but he was just so excited and wound up. One house had a storm door that was all glass and hardly any frame. It must have been very clean. When Zack attempted to walk into that house, he bounced off the storm door and fell backward off the porch. Once we were sure he hadn't been hurt, it was hysterically funny! The idea of Trunk-or-treating just makes me sad. They tell me the politicians love it though. Campaign workers show up to hand out candy in smart little "Vote for me" bags. Grown ups suck. |
| I appreciate all the positive comments on my NaNo idea. As soon as I started writing out the idea I started to feel the slow creep of doubt, but in this case, the doubts were nicely offset by your positive feedback! I've been toying with titles all day out on the periphery of my mind while tackling the usual weekend workload. I have a couple ideas bouncing around, but it is hard to focus. I'm in the process of trying to wrap up my Math class. I am almost half-way through the last homework assignment. I have until the 31st to finish up, but I'm really hoping to bull my way through it this weekend. Then there is the exam. No sense in putting that off either. I will probably take a day off work this next week so I can complete the exam in peace and quiet. It turns out I have loads of time to take. I am only allowed to carry a certain number of hours of vacation time from one year to the next, and I can't carry over any of my "personal time." So, by my calculations I need to take off 58 hours between now and Dec. 31st just to avoid losing any of the time I have earned. I see a lot of 3 and 4 day weekends in my near future. |
| You needn't read or comment. I recognize that the NaNo experience is a lot like having a baby. While I might find every giggle, coo, and accomplishment (She found her toes!) to be enormously fascinating and newsworthy, I accept that NO ONE else will ever be as caught up in the development of my baby/novel as I am. Yep, I accept that, so you're off the hook if you feel your eyes rolling back in your head as profound boredom settles over you. It's all good. That said, I'm going to lay out the general, hole filled plot line that is to become my second NaNo win (Note how I'm employing the power of positive thinking. Impressive, no?) Unfortunately, I don't have a working title yet, and some of the character remain unnamed and very sketchy. Alright, the main character is Jordan Decker. He is a Veteran who has been at lose ends since leaving the military. He is struggling with some survivors guilt since one of his closest friends was killed in combat not more than 4 ft. from where he stood. When the friend's widow starts to having problems with her teenage son, Decker decides to pick up and move so he can be close and help them out. The 16 year old son has been acting out since his mother started dating. He hasn't resolved the loss of his father, but seems to respond well to Decker's attention. Unfortunately, he continues to have issues around truancy. He tries to turn it around, but one day he wakes up late and realizes he has missed the bus. He needs to get to school, but his Mom isn't home. Since her car is there, he decides he'll drive himself to school figuring he'll be home before she get's off work. Problem one, he has his learner's permit, but not his license. Problem two, his Mom is home by lunchtime and finds her car missing. His mother sees her spare keys are missing and has a pretty good idea that her son took the car, but she also has the growing sense that he is beyond her control. She decides that it is time for him to learn that his actions have consequences, so she calls the police and reports the car stolen. Her son is arrested at school. Unfortunately, the police also find that he has a pocket knife on him. It is a small pocket knife that he has carried constantly since his father gave it to him for his 12th birthday, but there is a zero tolerance policy regarding "weapons" in school. Even thought the mother quickly recants and will not press charges, the police have him for driving without a license and possession of a weapon on school property. He is formally charged and processed. Decker tries to help with the finding a lawyer and such, but on the day that the case is presented in court, the judge astonishingly sentences the boy to 9 months of juvenile detention and he is immediately taken into custody. The severity of the sentencing does not sit well with Decker. He leans on the lawyer to file an appeal, but finds him oddly resistant. Decker, who has been working as a private investigator begins to dig and finds that the sentence was not unusual for the Judge. Two other Judges also seem to have high rates of sentencing to detention for first time offenders. At this point, Decker becomes involved with an ambitious reporter, Sydney Chavez, who is also pursuing a potential story lead on the unusually harsh sentencing. They suspect judicial misconduct, but have no proof, just a lot of little things that all seem to be pointing in the same direction. It seems like the judges are taking pay offs from the detention centers in return for sentencing kids. They pursue one lead after another, but then, the unthinkable happens. Three months into his sentence, the boy takes his own life. And that is when all hell breaks loose. |
| I typed an entry earlier, but lost it. I guess that's okay though because thinking out loud - as it were - in this space sometimes helps me to figure things out, and even if I lose the end product, I still get the benefit of processing my thoughts. My preoccupation with my NaNo novel has been stemming from an unlikely dilemma. I have too many ideas. It seems unlikely because I've been so stagnant for so long, and suddenly . . . well I guess I'm inspired. My prior NaNo novel is a very flawed and still unedited work in progress, but in my head it is a very solid story with characters I enjoy writing and have grown quite attached to. I've been wanting to do a second book with these characters, and I have a solid idea of how and where to start it, but not a good sense of where it would go from there. The thing is, as I'm thinking ahead, my mind has also been busy filling in a back story for the main character, and it turns out he had a compelling story to tell BEFORE I met him in the first book. The story line seems to be running wild in both directions and I'm stuck wonder whether I should focus on writing the before, or the after. Whatever I end up writing for NaNo this year, I'm pretty sure I'll be doing NaNo again next year because there are definitely three stories here. That's pretty exciting to me. The more I think about it, the more I think it would be better to write the prequel this year. I'm afraid that if I write the sequel then I will tie everything up and will lose all interest in writing the back story. What's the point if I already know how it will end. So I guess I've decided. Now . . . to find my working title. |
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