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 |  A chance at rediscovery and enlightenment. I want to be a pink bubble. |
Join my movement towards a more positive existence! Become a PinkBubble too  I will (eventually) be using my blog to include daily/weekly exercises to assist me in reaching my goal of becoming 'Pink'.If you would like to join me, please let me know and I will add your name to my blog list and make sure I read your blog often. I hope you will read mine too. This way we can support each others progress and help each other in creating new ways of thinking....PINK!It is all about love and light! . ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** P.I.N.K. Positive Inspirational Nourishing Kind Positivity: As The new year looms, I am creating a new neurological path . Studies show that A positive mind anticipates happiness, joy, health and a successful outcome of every situation and action. Whatever the mind expects, it finds. Habitual negative thoughts have established neurological pathways in the brain like pathways through a forest. The more frequently these pathways are used, the clearer and easier they are to use. Pathways less frequently used, become overgrown and are less easy to travel. ~Dr. Sylvia Mills Ph.D. I am going to create new pathways in my brain, filled with positive feelings, thoughts, and emotions. I am going to learn new ways of thinking and of living. I may stumble at times and fall into the familiar pattern of negative thinking, but I will not stay on that dark and hopeless road for long. I will familiarize myself with the new path I am going to create, the one that is filled with joy and happiness . I have traveled down the same negative roads for so long, it is time for a change of scenery. I will become a Positive person. This does not mean that I will not face obstacles, it means I will deal with those obstacles in a positive and productive manner. “Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one” ~Hans Selye Inspiration: I shall seek out those that are inspirational to me. I shall seek out the company of positive thinkers, those who are lovers not fighters. I will surround myself with love and light and perhaps their vibrations will inspire me to be more like them. I want to shine bright in both word and action. I want to eventually be an Inspiration for another. “To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children...to leave the world a better place...to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” ~Author Unknown Nourishing: I want to Nourish the Earth and it's inhabitants. I will learn the many ways to feed the human soul, including my own. I will educate myself and others on how to protect our planet and resources. I will not only make a change, I will be one. “Love is the immortal flow of energy that nourishes, extends and preserves. Its eternal goal is life.” ~ Smiley Blanton Kind: Such a simple concept and such a hard one for some to grasp. I will be working on reminding myself that Love and Kindness can heal almost any situation. I will forgive myself for my past and learn new ways of looking at others, especially at those who seem hopeless. I will do more random acts of Kindness. I will try to make a difference, however small, in one life everyday. “Spread love everywhere you go: First of all in your own house... let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness.” ~ Mother Teresa Follow me on my quest to be a better person. Help me if you see me falter. Read as I make the change into an enlightened person. Watch me rediscover myself. |
| I am really irked and hurt. I do not get how one person can, on a website, taint others views on a person. I am dismissed from a group and then invited back and then the next day removed again and told 'it was too soon'- too soon for who or what? I had not even stepped foot in the forum to do a review...(oh I did order some packages, bad me!) and the person running the group, when SHE invited me back in, said I did a good job when I belonged before. Can we say, huh? I have not ever done anything to make people on this site dislike me (at least not that I know of). I hear whispers that people do not like me but the reasons why are always very 'mysterious' and unknown 'exactly' to messenger who feels it is okay to share with me that others have a dislike for me. I am just 'doing my own thing' and some people (really just a couple...and one lately) seem to take issue or think that I have some ulterior motive. Again, huh? What would that motive be? To be yellow? I am (and yes, I was honored) but I still want to do the same things, the same way I have done before turning yellow. Yellow was an honor but I am not different nor more important now then when I was a new member. I find it disturbing that some seem to think they run the site and in the politics of it all, they kind of do. I have been told by a couple people not to cross certain people on this site. Seriously? Is it the WDC mafia? If you cross ONE of the gang, you are dead? Bang, Bang! I have not intentionally hurt anyone. However, I have found my own feelings hurt a couple of times now as I am tossed out of a group based upon what I believe is one or two people spreading rumors or sharing 'their feelings' with others.....what about, who knows. What disturbs me the most is people I have had tremendous relationships with (as far as I knew) suddenly turned odd behaving. Like I said, I was demoted in a group as these two people who 'had issue' with me where promoted and added to the group that same day right before my letter informing me that the leader had been sworn to secrecy but had been informed some insider information. Does everyone talk about everyone? I know not everyone does, perhaps I am just 'hanging' in the wrong crowd...lol, much like high school. My experience with WDC has been awesomely positive to this point- this point being when a disturbed and jealous woman decided she did not like me....I have suspicions about why EXACTLY after talking to some others, but that does not make it any more comfortable, especially since she was not only amazingly fake to me before I called her out in email (bad me for sticking up for myself) but also she is amazing good at twisting others to believe I am the one STARTING drama. I guess, in a way, me writing in my blog is creating drama. Well...my opinion.? It is my blog, if you do not like it, navigate away from the page. I have not mentioned names nor will I. I am venting. A couple people do not make the site, ALL the members do. I do not care if I am well known, but I do care that anyone I come in contact with leaves with a more positive attitude (if I can swing it) or feeling appreciated or loved. I do not do try and spread negativity and if I do not care for a person I steer clear of them, I do not tell me friend not to like them nor to I feel I need to 'enlighten' them. This is sad and sick. Right before the holidays and right after I signed my daughter up for this site. I will not have her exposed to reliving high school all over again. What is funny is I was well liked in high school  or maybe it was I did not care what people thought of me. When did I start caring?Okay, I almost wish this could be private, but it is not. It is a venting post....I figure I need to vent where I feel I might be heard if not validated in my disappointment. I am seriously considering leaving WDC and that makes me sad. They will have won-- But as soon as I leave there will be another who is not liked by one 'important' person or by one person who is 'best friends' with the 'important' person and the drama begins again. I do feel good knowing that all will eventually be exposed. One of the people who is having issues with me has had issues with others and for some really disturbing reasons..... blah.....I am spent. *off to put my block list back to use* something I thought I was above (blocking people) seems to be a much needed feature. Note: so I have just been accused of worrying only about status. This is too funny. I like to 'do things' and 'help people'. I do not have a long list of what leader I am for what group on my signature and reviews. I had a group siggy at one time. I have been told by someone I thought was a friend that perhaps it was best to cut down on some of my groups. Why? "Because people might take it wrong." When I join a group, I do it because I think it is a good group. I may have over extended myself at times but even though I review for three different review groups, I have never used a blanket siggy and counted one review as many on different groups. I feel this is unfair to the person who purchased the reviews. If you expect 15 reviews when you have bought reviews from 2 different groups, it is unfair to get 3 reviews from the same person who then counts them as filled on each review board. I put in effort to all my groups... I am soooo Type A personality and love staying busy and love being creative. WDC is my creative outlet....Status...what the heck is that? I am not any better than a member who just joined today and this goes the same way...you are not better than me because you are a mod or you have been here longer....we are all writers, we are all humans. I do like to make goals and one was to be number ! on the review board. I was not doing it for status but to see if I could and was proud when I did, without cheating, without pushing anyone aside. I have been awarded trophies for reviewing and, no I am not the best reviewer...but do we not all have something to offer? Why so much judgment? I must say...I am not sin free.... I am still learning, hence the blog. Ha! I do like getting MB's. I do like seeing my little number go up but I love the circular little buttons with images on them more than any number. There will always be someone with a higher number, so why the race? I have no one I am racing against but myself. I am so confused and hurt by statement made to me and about me.... I am clean. I do not feel guilt for one dang thing I have done on this site. But I am unhappy here now. My pink bubble has burst. LOL how pathetic! A chance at rediscovery and enlightenment. I want to be a pink bubble. |
| "WDC Frontliners Group"  asked:Answer this Q. Is Christmas too commercialized or why? Or what can we do about this ... ?? lllllllllllll Sidebar llllllllllllll Note this prompt offers bloggers options. All prompts may be bent if the blogger so desires. If it fits ... we'll accept your take on the prompt. llllllllllllllll I was very disgusted this year when I saw Christmas Decor out before Halloween was even over. To me, it takes away some of the magic of the season. Why are we so easily dismissing other holidays that fall before it and setting up displays when it is still warm in some places? (I realize that in some countries, Christmas comes in Summer- but not where I am from). As far as commercialism goes, yes, it has become a problem but one we have created ourselves. I do not have to buy tons of gifts for my children, yet I do. I was raised where every Christmas morning we were all surrounded, literally with packages. I carried on this tradition until one year when I could not. In the year 2003, I was laid off of my job as a Director of an after-school program for at risk children. I loved my job and was depressed. The lay-off came right before the holiday season. The company's State grant had not been renewed. I was in the process of creating a 'Mommy and Me' program for the community and was disappointed for both myself and the community. As I was reluctantly looking for a new job as Christmas loomed, I worried. I just did not have the money to hold Christmas the way I usually did. I was limited in funds and the idea that my children would miss out on their 'normal' Christmas morning depressed me further. I cried often during those few weeks. I finally sat down my girls, Heather who was 14 at the time and Katelyn who was 7. I explained that they would not be getting oodles of presents and I was unsure if I could afford the turkey or tidings that came with our usual Holiday meal. Literally, and quite amazingly, the phone rang during this conversation with my kids. I was being asked back to work at my previous place of employment, a job I gave up to take on the one I had just been laid off from. I was elated. I told my former boss I would be honored and she was a life-saver. This did not mean Christmas would change. I had bills piling up and had to pay those bills before even thinking about presents. I decided to hold off on Christmas until New Years day. I was being paid my first paycheck the day before the new year. I went to thrift stores and picked out clothes for Heather who, thankfully, was very into second hand clothes at that time. I went to after Christmas sales and picked up a few toys for Kat. Thankfully, it cost me very little to get them quite a few gifts. There was not the normal amount and I worried they would feel it was not Christmas without the mountains of presents. I even had a turkey for the Holiday. One day very close to Christmas my work provided a turkey to each of its employees. I received a nice sized one. I was so grateful. My mood was lightening up and I saw this as a opportunity for growth. My girls and I decided to include personal hand-made items in our gift giving. Since there would be no mountains of presents, we would sit and watch each other open gifts. Savoring each one. My best friend ended up being invited over for Dinner 'Christmas night'. She did not have family commitments as it was New Years instead of the busy day of Christmas where you are obligated to go to every family member's home. She would prepare homemade mashed potatoes and a pie. I would make the turkey, gravy and corn. It was simple, it was beautiful. 'Christmas morning' arrived and my girls were excited. They were not rushing to open their gifts, we sat and savored each and every gift so lovingly given. When my friend arrived, we had dinner. We took out time as we had nowhere else to rush too. The day was all about family and love. You could seriously feel the love thick in the air. Later, not that night, but perhaps a year later, both my girls would tell me that was their favorite Christmas. We started a new tradition of having Christmas on New Years. That tradition lasted a few years until, Emily, my granddaughter was born. We still remember that first year of our new Christmas traditions and no longer rush through unwrapping our gifts. We figured out if you wrap as simple lip-gloss, it can be just as a thoughtful and wonderful gift as a 50.00 dollar sweater. Has Christmas become too commercial? If you allow it to be. The power is in your hands. Complain to the stores that Christmas is coming to early for your taste, write letters to the Chain of stores who put out Christmas displays on Oct. 15th. Refuse to buy into the fallacy that you must supply endless amounts of toys or gifts to make it Christmas. You have the power to choose how you will spend that holiday and to heck with the masses. I miss caroling and many of the traditions we used to have. I want them back and we actively start new traditions within our family as often as we can. For example, we buy each other simple or make homemade ornaments for each other. Those ornaments are my favorite, especially the homemade ones. One year, Kat did not make one in school as usual. I was very sad and she noticed my disappointment when I asked her where it was. The next day I noticed that Kat had hung her newly made ornament for me on the tree. She had taken a plastic pocket 'envelope' wrote the date and printed 'Here is your Christmas ornament, Love Kat.' It was both the ugliest and most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It still graces my tree every year and get many comments. They always ask me what it is and I always enjoy telling them the story of love.... |
| "WDC Frontliners Group" has asked: DEC 22: PROMPT # 2: Complete the line with a story of any length or a poem ... "A reindeer just ate ___________ E.g.: Here you may use e.g. cookies. Or: ate my, ate our, ate a, ate the ... etc. Your call. a reindeer just ate my coat I believe he thinks he's a goat the deer looks so very elated for my jacket made him feel sated I hope he gets constipated! |
| "WDC Frontliners Group" has asked us to blog about the following today: (actually yesterday but I am a day late) DEC 21: PROMPT # 1: Familiarize yourself with the folk song, THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS and blog about it for us. I am troubled by this song on many different levels. First the time-line of exactly when the twelve days of Christmas start is heatedly debated. Some say it is the actual twelve days before Christmas, some say it is the twelve days starting on Christmas and ending twelve days later on the beginning of Epiphany. I just do not know when to start celebrating! The gift giver controversy also makes me pause. Some believe it is God who send these very odd gifts (Why would he do that?) and some believe it is a suitor (quite a freak, if you ask me). When looking up the song, I saw so much controversy about when the song was actually composed, who composed it and for what reason, what hidden meaning was behind it, etc. Too much debate for a little silly song for children in my humble opinion. Now lets talk about those gifts. Whether it be God or a suitor, if some of those gifts showed up on my doorstep, I would freak! Imagine.... You are sitting at home watching a great rerun of your favorite sitcom and the doorbell rings. It is UPS and he has this huge pear tree and in it, nesting, is this strange little bird. Where ever do you put the thing? Out back in the yard, I would assume, if you do not live in the city. Who will help you plant the tree? It seems like your lover or God is not there to help with that task. Day two, you are in the kitchen microwaving some Lean Cuisine and the doorbell rings. The UPS man hands you a cage with two turtle doves. They would make such a racket in the house, plus what a mess it would be to clean their cages! Do you put the doves with the partridge out back? I guess I would and hope they all can get along. Day three, you are out back trying to get the doves to stop bullying the lone partridge when a man calls to you over the fence. He has a cage full of three squawking french hens. You open the cage and let them run free around your tiny backyard, upset that you have no idea what these french birds eat. You get the point, right? Think.... What would YOU do if you received the following gifts: 4 more birds, only these are calling birds. They will keep you awake all night! 5 golden rings. This might not be so bad as you can always send them to 'Cash for Gold' and make a pretty penny 6 geese. Not only are they going to crowd your already filled and stinky yard, but they are going to lay tons of eggs. I am not sure if people eat geese eggs or if they let them hatch. Can we say "confusion?" 7 swans. These huge birds come with a kiddie pool so they can swim. How convenient! 8 maids a milking. (Okay, I would think my lover would rather have these maids than I and what the heck are they milking? What would you feed these ladies? Do you invite them to dinner, put them up in the guestroom or purchase tents to set up in the backyard?) 9 ladies dancing. ( I think I would break of with any man who kept sending me women...sounds a little kinky to me) 10 Lords a' leaping. (Okay, so at least you would get some attention if these men were not so busy leaping with each other....but makes me wonder if they did stop prancing and leaping, would they pay attention to a woman...ever?) 11 pipers piping (maybe it is just me, but all that piping would give me a migraine) 12 drummers drumming. (okay, this is where I would make some phone calls. First to my boyfriend to break up with the freak and then to the Goodwill telling them I have a huge donation). I would hope to never receive such gifts. I am a simple girl who likes flowers, candy, perhaps the rings would be fine. But NO livestock, women or birds will make my Christmas bright! Side note: For anyone who thinks I did not research this song, here is the religious meaning behind these very odd gifts according to a website I fell upon. There was no disrespect intended on my take of the song. Religious symbolism of The Twelve Days of Christmas (The 12 Days of Christmas) 1 True Love refers to God 2 Turtle Doves refers to the Old and New Testaments 3 French Hens refers to Faith, Hope and Charity, the Theological Virtues 4 Calling Birds refers to the Four Gospels and/or the Four Evangelists 5 Golden Rings refers to the first Five Books of the Old Testament, the "Pentateuch", which gives the history of man's fall from grace. 6 Geese A-laying refers to the six days of creation 7 Swans A-swimming refers to the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit, the seven sacraments 8 Maids A-milking refers to the eight beatitudes 9 Ladies Dancing refers to the nine Fruits of the Holy Spirit 10 Lords A-leaping refers to the ten commandments 11 Pipers Piping refers to the eleven faithful apostles 12 Drummers Drumming refers to the twelve points of doctrine in the Apostle's Creed |
| Yesterday i read something in kristilove's portfolio that really spoke to me. It was strange how she decided to edit it after having it posted for some time now. It was neat as it was a lesson I needed to be reminded about...respect and the Full meaning of it. I fully agreed with what she wrote. It was an awesome post. It showed up at the right time. Neat how the universe works that way. There are always signs if you look for them or at least are open to accepting them. They show you easily whether or not you are headed in the right direction. I think I am, for once, am fully trying to change my existence into something that is balanced and not only makes me happy but embodies everything about the 'P.I.N.K. I wake up too early this morning. 6:30 and here I am wanting coffee. I do not want to drive yet and turn on WDC and whoa! I am yellow!!!! It is such an honor. While I do not feel I am above or different than any of the writers on here, it is an honor. I want to represent the gift I was bestowed with honoring it with being the best member I can possibly be. While this is a writing site to better your own skill, it is also a community. You should inspire others to write and feel. You should be happy when another succeeds and push them towards their goals with encouragement and love. I am so honored and humbled and it feels so good. I think I am done with Christmas shopping. I have one more person to buy for. My daughter's fiance. I am supposed to go get my Gramma's pizzelle iron today as she did not make the Italian cookies this year. It is just not Christmas without them. She even ships them to me if I am not home. She is getting older and I think she has just given up on living. She does not have her normal zest for life anymore. She is cranky and feels she can not do things like she used to so therefor she should not do anything. I know her time is coming and I dread it. I am going to miss her. We have grocery shopping to do, the present needs to be found at an antique shop, and we are doing the tree tonight. Busy! I wish I could sleep in later. My kids are late night people, I am so morning. I also bought a gingerbread kit for me and Emily to build a house with and also ornaments that she can color and glitter up for her mom. I still have the ornaments my kids made me. I have two large boxes of special ornaments. No more balls...heather still needs filler balls but every year I gift her two or three funky or pretty ornaments. Her fiance's aunt also gifts ornaments. I think it is so special each year to reminisce over each piece of mini art as you decorate your tree. You can remember where you got them or who gave them to you. My favorite of course are the little ones my kids made. One year I was so upset that Katelyn did not make me an ornament at school. She took this plastic tag thing and wrote, 'here is your ornament' on a plain white piece of paper and stuck it between the two plastic sheets. LOL I still hand it every year I wish everyone much love and happiness during this season. i feel bad for those that experience the Holiday blues. If anyone reads this and you are feeling depressed or just sad, you can mail me and vent or share if you need someone. It is all about the love! |
| It is funny how love can heal all hurts, stresses, and just melt your heart. Emily has the power to turn me to jello with one hug. I bought Heather (my oldest) a Beatles VHS 'movie?' It is not Sargent Pepper. It looks cool and will go nicely with the shirt her fiance bought her. I think I may have already posted how extremely proud I am of her. I really worried about her having a baby at 19 and knew the baby would make or break her. I am glad Emily helped in making her into such a strong and loving mother. She has a sense of responsibility for such a young woman-- that amazes me. I have a few people I have asked to join this site. I am waiting to show Heather how to navigate this site. She is a very talented writer. I just hope she never encounters anything that breaks her heart on this or any other website. Sites can get so political. Some people who have been around for a while can think they control the site. This is not the norm, but one person can hurt another very easily and I do not want my daughter hurt by a nasty review or someone talking about her behind her back....that is so common on websites. I hope she can choose to ignore it like I am learning to. I also want to invite my sister. She is having a really rough time right now and I know her writing about it can be healing. I have a few friends I would love to join. It is a matter of convincing them that they are, indeed, writers. People have so little faith in themselves sometimes. I know I do at times. I need to start talking positively about myself and to myself. We are all special in our own ways. We all have a story to tell. Well...off to Christmas shop some more!!! |
| Our flight leaves at 6:20 am. It is a 2.5 hour drive to the airport. Husband is cranky and finally asleep and daughter is asleep and not packed and her room is filled with dirty dishes and fast food boxes. She has been told to get it together but she just keeps yelling 'I knowwwwwwwwwwwww'. If she knew, she would be done with it all. I am afraid to sleep for fear I wont wake easily, no matter how excited I am. I am at a loss to what to do. I could try and get some reviews done for packages soaring your way but I am afraid soon i will sound illiterate. I wonder if I should start the coffee brewing Now. I am sooooooo tired. I wish 'Frasier' was on more than just one episode a night. It used to be two. I guess i will be reduced to watching 'Roseanne'. I have everything packed except my special pillow. I might take that on the plane anyways. I am so scared of our plane change in Denver. In September, we had a 5 hour layover. With it being winter, I am dreading the weather. checked the forecast and it looks clear but that does not mean a thing. I can tell i am getting very tired. My typing is getting sloppy. I keep having to collect thoughts and go and fix errors. I should have napped. A chance at rediscovery and enlightenment. I want to be a pink bubble. |
| so happy! If you did not know this like I did not know, if you look to the side of your blog, you can add people there. What an awesome thing. I miss out on many of my fellow bloggers news by simply forgetting to check their posts. Now I can add people and check in on their daily blog bits!!! neato! |
| I have been thinking about who I am as a person. I wonder sometimes if what I have suffered through in my life has, as some say, some correlation to some past life and evil deeds I did when I was someone else. I do not think so. I really believe karma has to do with this life we live now. It is simple, you will face obstacles in your life, you will face bad times and many hurts, but karma has nothing to do with what are natural trials of life that are meant to shape us as people. We are given certain tests, I believe, to challenge us to persevere regardless the circumstances. It can be quite a challenge to keep love and joy in your heart when you face the ugliness of this world. Karma...such as it is, to me, is one day being made to feel the result of your own actions. When you act with hidden motives spawned out of greed, jealousy, or hatred, when you are not true to yourself or others, when you hurt another knowingly...there will be repercussions even if it is just not being able to live comfortably within yourself. I fear karma. I fear not being able to shut my eyes at night and feel peace for who I am or what I have done. I try and make sure my motives are driven by love and compassion, not petty things. It is sometimes hard, but much easier for me than it used to be. I used to be so angry with my life. I never knowingly hurt another but I recognized that I did hurt people by my lack of caring for myself and the world in general. I just did not care, period. I allowed my hurt and pain to take over my soul and closed myself down to feeling any emotion for myself or others. It took some great enlightenment to finally realize the entire point of life is to connect with others. My test was to trust that there are good people out there who do not mean me harm, who do not have false or ulterior motives, who are just lovely people. It is still a test. I find it hard to believe that people do not want something from me or want to take something away from me. I still face adversity, jealousy, and just pure hatred. Sometimes I feel like my efforts to spread happiness and joy is thought of as simple-minded, silly or worse a total fallacy. It pains me to know that some others think I am the one with ulterior motives, that I am seeking some kind of 'crown' or 'riches' for what are actually very simple acts of accepting and loving others. I could and have been a bitch in my life, a life I chose to leave behind. It is not that I ever started fights or discord, I could have cared less about people, but if I was messed with, I fought back. I could hurt others feelings, make them feel like crap, or make them sorry they ever messed with me. It is tempting sometimes to show that part of me as some actually find that a true testament to strength or intelligence and I would love nothing more to put a few people 'in their place'. Who am I to put anyone in their place though? I would not know what their place is, they are the ones who at the end of the day must live with who they are as humans. They are the ones that have to find peace from those ugly feelings of insecurities, jealousy, hatred. I know I struggle. I found the best thing for me to do is to call out my ugly feelings, admit when I am jealous or insecure and deal with it openly. This opens me up to critics, but ya know what, I do not give a damn. I have decided those who like me and those who don't will probably never. I have found myself hurt too many times by people who have taken a dislike to me for no apparent reason. I have cried in secret before as people judged me openly and loudly. I have hurt beyond belief as people I considered friends turn and talked poorly about me or secretly plotted against me. I will no longer give them power. They can do what the wish, I have no control over who they are and what they do. Karma has a way of making it an even playing ground without my help. Karma may not be immediate, but it has a way of showing up eventually. I think any hurt I send out will be returned to me in a manner, where if I am smart, will be able to directly relate it to what I have done in the past. karma is not mysterious, it is pretty much in your face. You can choose to ignore it, but eventually it will become so huge that you will have a problem dismissing it. It will consume you and your being. Perhaps it can also harden you if you are weak. If you chose to believe that you are the only one in your life to suffer or be wronged. *shrugs* I can not and will not let that happen to me...not again. It has been many, many years since I did not care for myself, the world, and the souls of others. I will surround myself with as much positivity and try very hard to stay that way myself....positive. I do not want to be jaded anymore. I do not want to be suspicious of others. I want to feel good about myself and others....I hope I can. Karma does not cause catastrophic disasters. It does not continue from one lifetime to another, it does not cause you to be molested as a child or be poverty stricken as an adult. It is so simple, it is just the matter of making one realize their deeds, good or bad at some time of their life or perhaps many times in their lives. It is realizing that your accountable for your actions, thoughts, and deeds. Karma has a way of knowing what is in your heart and mind. So far, today....I feel Karma will allow me to rest my head quietly on the pillow tonight. Every day is a new opportunity to positively affect my existence and perhaps affect another. A chance at rediscovery and enlightenment. I want to be a pink bubble. |
| I had a very dear lady *whispers Gabriella* make a very good point concerning the auction I whipped up for Hannah. She said there were tons of other auctions going on and did I want to plug for donations right now. She said she would do what she could, but I decided I did not want to grab any of the limelight what-so-ever from the other auctions. Everyone has a good cause to support and my auction will be accepting donations on the 15th of January. While I am not going to turn down any donations, I am fine with stepping back until I get back from my vacation. I found out a neat secret anyways and now I am happy still, I am hoping that when I do start to ask for donations, we will have a fun time with the auction. I always love seeing all those neat packages. I was so bummed to find out how much I may be missing on the site during the holidays. Emily hugz makes it all better though. I swear my grandchild holds magical power in those little arms of hers. I found out some sad news yesterday. I am not sure if she would want me to share her name or what she has just had to face but by chance that she reads my blog (I doubt it as busy as she is), I want to let her know...again...how much I love and care about her. I would love it if people could just send out prayers, positive vibrations or whatever they do (that is positive) for all those people who may not be having the brightest holiday season. Holiday depression is such a problem with some people. I am saddened to see my friends and fellow man not enjoying what the season has to offer. I usually get very depressed when the season comes to the end and we are just left with cold and bleak weather. I find that trying to do positive things for others, random acts of kindness or donating my time makes me feel a little better. This is such a random post. I am proud of myself that I am keeping up with logging in and posting. I find it much easier to type than write with pen and paper. My wish is by the end of 2010 I can look back and see many positive changes and much growth in regards to my personal self and my life. A chance at rediscovery and enlightenment. I want to be a pink bubble. |
I do not have them, thank goodness. I usually get depressed AFTER the holidays, hopefully i will be busy with activities. I plan on looking for a new job and revising my home-life along with running some auctions to help myself save my membership, but first to save Hannah ♫♥♫  from losing hers. She runs two fabulous groups, one for newbies, the Paper Doll Gang. She has been such a loving and wonderful friend to so many, I do not think finding support for the auction will be a trouble. i am going to start working on the images now. I go on vacation to California on Thursday and can't start asking for donations until I get back, well i can ask but they wont be recorded regularly until I get back. I am on a mission......If you know Hannah and would like to make a donation of a package, please mail me. I am also going to be taking gp donations. I am off to set up the fundraiser now....the bank will be open soon and the auction will start in the middle of January. A chance at rediscovery and enlightenment. I want to be a pink bubble. |
| Chad and I had a simple ceremony. The pastor came over and we were witnessed by my daughter and his sister and niece. It was simple, but I still felt nervous and had a hard time repeating the vows as I committed myself to this man for life. It is not that I had any reservations, I did not. It is just such an act of permanence to me. I take marriage very seriously (this is being said by a woman on her third..but last marriage). I was just feeling the responsibility to this man that was now much more different than before. I have committed to live my life with him, regardless to what else happens. We are no longer singular. Everything that happens to one of us, happens to both of us as we are now one. That would be tested so soon after,,,, but first let me tell you (or perhaps tell me), of our night after, our celebration. I found a quaint bed and breakfast out of town. It is a historical home built in the late 1800's. It is a wonderful Victorian home and had private rooms with private bathrooms. The bathroom in the room we stayed in had a huge whirlpool tub. Chad and I checked in and met the wonderful hosts. They recommended a wonderful steak restaurant and Chad and I went out foe dinner. We had drinks and prime rib for dinner. We rented a couple of movies and went back to our room. We had bought some bubble bath for the whirl-tub. chad was unsure if we should use it with the jets, but after getting back to the room and seeing that they had foaming milk bath, we were fine in adding bubbles to the water. Chad did not feel that the little bottle they provided would be enough, he added more from the lavender scented bubbles he purchased. I got in and was impressed by the wonderful suds that were building. I am a die-hard bubble bath fan and was already sitting in the tub as he got ready. He was shocked when he came in and saw the bubbles. I was having fun luxuriating in the foam as he stepped into the tub. He turned on the jets and then...LMBO!!!! The bubbles were stiff and plentiful, too, too plentiful. he jumped out of the tub to grab the camera and he left a trail of bubbles (I would get out later and have to dry and scrub the stiff trail off the carpet). We took the pictures and spent some time drinking champagne and enjoying the jets which had to be turned off every once in a while to not overflow the bubbles. When I stood up, I could not get the bubbles off me. I was literally covered with them. I wore this coat of white...all soap. It got to be too much. Chad let out the water and we showered off the bubbles, laughing and hoping we did not ruin the jets on the tub. (we did not, btw, he took a bath the next morning and it was great without the bubbles) We spent the night relaxing and umm...well enjoying each others company. We awoke in the morning to breakfast by fireside. The hosts set up an intimate area in the living room for just us. The food was great. We were handed a gift. It was a book with all the B&B's in the country. We have decided every year for our anniversary we will visit a new one. We also bought a commemorative mug. LOL..great addition to my teacup collection. I will have to find special places for our memorabilia. When we came home, my daughter informed me the night before she found out that her two best friends had gotten drunk and stupid. Her best friend, the one with a pin that stays 'one year sobriety' got so s***-faced she started taking off her clothes. Kat told me that she is trying really hard to start her life over, and it is too hard in this small of a town. She does not want to leave me or her school, or even her drunk friends, but she needs to think about herself. She can not escape what she was here. Everyone here knows she almost died this year, that she used to use marijuana and they are not soon to let her forget. She will be staying in California when we go back. Her reasoning makes sense to me, otherwise I would not let her go. she wants to have a larger family around and she wants to be a stranger of sorts. She expects to go back, go to school, get a job and her drivers license. This was a test of my new marriage. Normally, I would go with her and not consider Chad, he would follow me or not. I promised to walk beside this man not lead.... Katelyn is 16. She will be an 'adult' soon. I am afraid as some of her friends there are just the biggest 'disappointments' imaginable. I am afraid because her father does not know how to effectively parent, he is just plain mean at times and never consistent. I am afraid he will forget that his daughter was in the ICU this year and almost died because she decided she did not want to live this 'hard' life. I am afraid... I have told Katelyn that I support her. Chad and I will move to the city in which he works. I was staying in this small town for Katelyn. I will be able to get a good job in the city doing what I do. I have told her, in one heartbeat, if she wants to return she is always welcome. her sister is there in California and won't be moving here for another couple of years, so Katelyn will have Heather to talk to. Like I said....Bittersweet I feel like I gained and lost this weekend. It will be okay..... A chance at rediscovery and enlightenment. I want to be a pink bubble. |
| It is now 8 am. We are getting married at 4:00 this afternoon. It will be a pastor and hopefully we round up two witnesses. Part of me wants to get married in my jammie bottoms and furry boots (my normal attire) because it is such a weird wedding. I feel like it should be no big deal because it is so informal. We are going out to dinner and stay at a hotel, which we can not afford, so I will dress nicer. This year, we have seen many family emergencies. We stuck together through them all. I almost died last year due to blood loss and had to have an emergency hysterectomy. I had the beginning stages of cervical cancer but it was caught in time and so, all and all, happy ending to what could have been a tragic oops. 'I do not go to the doctor unless I am 'took on new meaning after that episode. My daughter was hospitalized and in ICU for 3 days. We had to make some changes to ammend for her 'condition' and I have not been working for a few months now. Chad stood by me and supported me through on of the hardest times in my life. Chad recently had his chance to stay in the hospital. Not wanting to be left out, he passed out on the bedroom floor and started having problems keeping concentration and walking. We have spent the last month stuck together, all home, only venturing out to see one specialist after another. Everything turned out to be 'fixable' and he has just returned back to work this week and we realize, OMG! We did not get married yet. We have been planning on doing it a little more, just a tad more, traditional than what we are doing. We simply did not have time or money to waste. We will be over-drafting our bank account for dinner and the Hotel. I know this is so not the responsible thing to do but I can not just get married and stay home tonight. I want something to be special and (especially lately) going out to dinner and staying at a hotel would be a very special event in itself. I want to celebrate our union. He just woke up. I wonder if he is nervous yet. A chance at rediscovery and enlightenment. I want to be a pink bubble. |
| You know how your mother always used to tell you, 'If you do not have anything nice to say, do not say anything at all?' I need to start following that advice. It is sound advice. I find myself gossiping, or just saying negative things about- well- everything. Not that I am mean or hateful, just not positive. I need a device that gives me a little shock every time a negative thought or word forms . Forgives myself for being human and reminds myself to follow Mom's advice. I am getting married tomorrow. It does not seem real. I have been with the man so long, I acted like we were man and wife. It is different to actually be his wife, legally. I Thought I thought of it as only a piece of paper, but the reality is setting in. It is more than a piece of paper. It is a Legal piece of documentation where I state I am part of a union. eeep! Now I feel bad that it is going to be so ordinary. I want to celebrate. I got something in the mail today where I could get an advance on my taxes. I wish they would have sent that a few days ago. I would like for Chad and I to be able to stay at a motel at least and have dinner out. We have been so turned upside down by recent events, we just have barely steadied ourselves, and now our marriage is here. I feel like it should be a big deal. Why did I say I did not want a big deal made. My sister does not even know! My mother does not know. No one knows except for a few choice people and whoever reads this blog. LOL How sad of me. I wonder if I should go to the tax place and get a loan. I would have time before the ceremony at 4pm. I feel ugly too. I do not want to get married without highlights and a fake tan. OMG! I am so petty. I just want to look beautiful. I fully expect that overnight a huge zit will form on my nose and he will be looking into my eyes tomorrow thinking 'ewww'. LOL I am actually nervous. I wonder...is he? *waits impatiently for him to get home* My God! I am getting married!!!!!! wow! |
| I have seemingly offended some by my gung-ho nature. When I joined the site, I fell in love with it. I became enamored with reading others works and reviewing. I actually had someone yell at me and kind of freak because I seemingly had 'replaced' her on the public review board. When I explained I was not in competition with anyone but myself, I was laughed at. She did not understand how I could compete with myself. It is actually very easy. I do not care what you do, I care about what I can do. I started writing pretty poor reviews but I began to learn how to write better reviews, use a template, etc. My goal for myself has been different each month. yes, I wanted to be number one on the boards for a month. Sue me I did it. It is now a matter of improving my skill in reviewing. I have always reviewed as a reader. I am quite literate but stink at punctuation. I see so many arguing about what is a good review on here. I think review styles vary and as long as everyone is trying to give a decent review and actually reading the content of my posts, I am usually happy. I try and provide kind, thoughtful, honest reviews. I am currently enrolled in New Horizons to learn proper comma usage and punctuation. I know this will only improve my writing and reviewing. Why so gung-ho on the groups? Why not? I see a person and I may feel they have a great group or they are a friendly person, so I join their group. I may be overdoing it but how does one go and tell someone 'I am leaving your group because I found another one' and not hurt feelings. Since it seems that my belonging to 'too many' groups offends some people or makes them wary of me and my WDC intentions, I have decided not to use a siggy listing them all. I do think I joined too many review groups. The reason for this is as time goes on and my reviews get more detailed, I find I have less time to do reviews for all the groups. I will have to streamline my time. I did not join all these groups for status but to be a part of this huge community. The more groups I belong to, the better chance to make new friend, learn new things, or perhaps help another. In my life, not only on WDC, I have been thought of as an over-achiever. Someone who comes in and takes over. Someone who climbs ladders a little too fast for others tastes. I am sorry people feel that way. I do not try and step on any toes on my way to MY top and I do not put others down or even concern myself with them when do what I need to do. When I was quickly promoted at my job, there was some dissension in the ranks. I had one lady very upset because she applied for the same position as I, but she had been an employee for years and years and I had not. When I interviewed for the position, I had been doing 'the job' for quite a time for 'free'. I had from day one asked what I could do for my boss, where help was needed, what could I do to both challenge me and help the place I worked for. Was I kissing up? No. When is being helpful kissing up? I would do the same for anyone and had. I enjoyed fund-raising for my Preschool and had spent many of my off hours learning all I could about different facets of the preschool. I would help my fellow teachers do their college coursework, help them with misbehaved students, I just was open to being helpful. This impressed not only my boss but her boss. It hurts me and frustrates me that I should be expected to change who I am or to slow down to appease others. I am not stating I am better than anyone. Anyone can do what I do if they choose. There are people who excel and have been promoted above me. I never worry about them, I worry about me. What can I do to get where 'I' want to be. I do not expect kudos for being helpful or kind but it hurts when someone forgets that you have helped them in the past and turns on you by talking about you negatively behind your back. It is hard for me to trust people. I just never know who is being fake. I do not want to be wary of the human race. I really do want all love and rainbows and might be an idealist when it comes to my expectations of myself and my fellow man, but I believe we can live in harmony. How is that for cheesy? Where do I want to be on WDC and what do I want from the site? My intentions are not as suspicious as some would like to think. I came in with guns blazing as I am sure many do. I was excited to belong to such an awesome site. It quickly became my internet focus. I saw it as a place to display my work, get feedback, and commune with fellow writers. I quickly found friends. I found a mentor who taught me a lot. Kristilove showed me how to do so much around WDC. I think I was her project. I am hoping that she is proud of what she created Many are not so lucky to have their own Kristilove, but my intent is to help any new member I see. If they end up excelling beyond my own expectations, get published before me, become a yellow case before me or just become 'more popular' than I, I will truly be happy for them. It is in my nature to be happy when others succeed. if I feel jealousy, I am usually the first to admit it. I address the ugly feeling and then let it go. Kristi taught me how to excel, be proud, and produce. She showed me how to feel loved and how to love back. She showed me what an excellent mentor is; a mentor is selfless, loving, encouraging and wants their mentee to succeed beyond their expectations. When you mentor someone that well, you should be proud as you helped that person spread their wings and fly.My intent is to utilize this site the best I can. I hope to learn as much as I can. When I learn something, my wish is to teach another what I know. An added benefit of this site is that I have made some very special friends. My intent in life to to try and not be bothered by what others may THINK. Just because others think something of me it does not mean it is truth. I can try and explain myself but need to learn not to do it more than once. If someone chooses not to like me, it needs to be okay. My intent is to be the best me that I can be. My wish is that everyone succeeds in being the best (whatever) they can be. A lesson I must learn to gain ground on being a Pinkbubble is to stay focused and positive in regards to myself. I have to be confident in myself to help others. I must stay true to my inner-calling and not be put off by what others think or say. I can listen, but at the end of the day, when I close my eyes, I must choose to walk the path that I believe to be the correct one for me. |
| http://colorgenicstest.com/ I thought it was a fluke, it may be, but my answers to my color choices is eerily close to what is going on in my life right now. let me know what you find out! Name: omniblueeyes Date: 12/10/2009 Colorgenics Number: 51342607 PRINT THIS PAGE You are longing for some love and affection at this time - not that you have been deprived of tender loving care - but there are times when everyone needs to try something new or to go 'somewhere' else to perhaps experience that little extra 'understanding'. You are a true extrovert, frivolous and outgoing. You need to feel in control of any situation. If matters are not proceeding according to plan you tend to get extremely irritable and perhaps become difficult to live with. All the problems that you have been experiencing of late seem to have become a part of your life and there is little that can be done to change the situation. Your emotions run high - but even though you feel as if at times you are about to burst this situation will pass. Try to release your pent-up emotions by participating in some extra physical activities like running, swimming, whatever. There must be some favourite pastime, not necessarily strenuous, that can help you to relax. You are being unduly influenced by the situation that is all around you. You do not like the feeling of loneliness and whatever it is that seems to separate you from others. You know that life can be wonderful and you are anxious to experience life in all its aspects, to live it to the full. You therefore resent any restriction or limitations that are being imposed on you and you insist on going it alone. You don't like conflict and you endeavour to avoid criticism. You want to do your own thing and to be able to decide what is right for you. You have considerable personable charm - and this is used with considerable effect on those that keep your company. |
| So, I have decided to be proactive. No more sitting and saying I will change, expecting it to magically happen in my life because I entertain happy or positive thoughts. The blog intro gives a very definition of what my intentions are. I realize that is an awful lot to expect in a year, but in saying that i am doing exactly what I am going to be training myself NOT to do. I will start now by saying that to err is human, I will forgive myself for doubting myself and will claim the change I will make. Where to start? Here is one place to start. I will not belittle one small positive thing I do, rather I will sing out (if only in my blog) about any wonderful things I achieve. I will forgive myself each night of my mishaps, mistakes, or wavering. I have some very selfish things I want for myself. Actually, they are not at all selfish. When I am a stronger, healthier, more positive person everyone in my life will benefit. My list of positive things for today: I am lacking sleep, but yet I will keep my positive attitude and cook my family a meal. It is only one day. It will end soon enough and be lost forever. I sent out pink bubbles and positive vibrations to a friend who is celebrating her first year anniversary of her sobriety. Kristilove is a person who has been a positive influence on my life. Her attitude is something that inspires me. In giving something I got much more back in return. I truly believe we get what we send out in the universe. I believe we attract good things by our vibrations, our auras. We are magnets. I want my frequency to be that of a light energy that both receives and sends out positive vibration. I am in search of any other seekers of light to join me in my quest to become a pinkbubble. 'Pink bubbles' is a word that my sister and I started calling positive energy. It is a long story and I shall try and explain our philosophies on the 'pink bubbles' theory later. Right now, I am thinking of ways to start my quest. This is pretty much my journal. I do not need one to write in but will keep on anyways. I shall draw pretty pictures and bring them to life. I am sure I seem like I have gone crazy or started using drugs, I assure you I am clean and sane. What you believe is truth. Spaghetti or lemon chicken tonight? Survivor is on tonight. I get married Saturday. We go to California in seven days!!! I shall ask my daughter for a pretty, large journal for Christmas. Oh, and this is my journal So if you find it scattered or you dislike my punctuation....if you have any problem with it at all, I am not opposed to you speaking your views on it. I invite all into my world. i only ask that you try and think positively and be kind when assessing my thoughts. |
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I miss my dose of enthusiasm.