En Fait, it's a total fail

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by nordicnoirMail Icon
Rated: 13+ · Book · Entertainment · #2199980

Thoughts destined to be washed away by the tides of life.

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#1115953 added May 18, 2026 at 6:15am (edited)
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En Fait, it's a total fail
It's been two weeks since I stopped trying to keep up my streaks with the aim of spending more time actually writing. The goal was to take the pressure off of doing busy-work type activities in favor of finding ways to be more creative. I admit it took me almost a week to really stop. Some days, I did everything because the streaks were still going and it was hard to make that purposeful break.

The result? Total fail. I do not thrive without deadlines. I cannot function without that sword hanging over my head. I don't have any discipline.

Of course, it may be that I have nothing to say. Once upon a time, I could not drive across town without poetry forming in my brain. Now it's just so forced, so inauthentic. I live in an era when everyone is pursuing their "authentic" selves. Maybe I don't have one.

En fait*, I do have an authentic self, but my authentic self is bound to be wildly unpopular so I wear the chains of social acceptability. Unless, of course, they become unbearable and I throw them off, have a rant and then I always dutifully put them back on.

* The internet spies on Facebook keep sending me Reels telling me not to say "actuellement" for "actually" in French or I will sound inauthentic, so I must say "en fait" instead. I wasn't actually saying "actuellement" and I don't know who on the internet is critiquing my French, but just there I was going to type "Actually". However, it felt repetitive and so I typed "En fait" to avoid looking inauthentic.
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