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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/action/view/entry_id/994206
Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #982524
Online journal capturing the moment and the memory of moments. A meadow meditation.
#994206 added September 26, 2020 at 10:43pm
Restrictions: None
May your memory be a blessing [232] 24σ (won)
May your memory be a blessing

Soft breezes wend through headstones and weeping willows —
as deceased saints croon susurrous songs of welcome.

© Kåre Enga [177.232] (24.september.2020)

24 syllables: a 12/12 couplet with alliteration. Won. *Ribbonw*

For: "24 Syllables susurrous: (adjective) characterized by soft sounds. (3 syllables, stress on second syllable)
Notes:
1st 'vomit':
The soft breeze wends its way through the headstones. 10 The willows whisper. 15 The Dead add their opinions 22 to the susurrous nip 28 behind your ears 32
2nd 'clean-up':
A Soft breezes wend through headstones as willows whisper. 12
B The Dead add thoughts to susurrous nips behind your ears. 13 = 25
3rd 'rethinking, adjusting and editing':
B The Dead tuck their susurrous thoughts behind your ears. 12
4th 'reedit'and 'does this make any sense', 'is it at all poetic', 'can I do better'.
The Deceased slip susurrous visions within your mind. 13
The Deceased croon susurrous songs to welcome you. 12
as Deceased croon susurrous songs of welcome. 11

104.601

© Copyright 2020 Kåre Enga, P.O. 22, Blogville (UN: enga at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/action/view/entry_id/994206