Attention Attention

Monsters

Word Count ▼

955 Words

"Do you want me to kill him-?”
“Seriously… Baal! Will you stop doing that!”
“Doing what?”
“Suddenly appearing out of nowhere.”
“Well, where do you want me to appear from?”
“Just not… out of thin air. Unannounced! Can’t you wear a bell or something?”
“Do not insult me! I am not a housecat!”
“I’m aware! A cat would be easier to deal with. And, we’ve had this discussion. You can't just go around killing people."
“I can. It is what I am designed for. My purpose. Anyway, I doubt it will be any loss to humanity.”
“No!”
“What do you mean ‘No’….”
“I mean, we’re not killing the guard. He’s just doing his job.”
“He is a drunk. And a slopy one at that. This is the second time he has excused himself since his shift started. He must have a bladder the size of a plum. Look, his weapon is still on the table next to the… What is this…? ugh… rum…”
“Will you stop touching stuff!”
“I could make it look like an accident. Or natural causes. No one would question if he choked on his own vomit!”
“No! It would look suspicious. A dead guard. Prisoner mysteriously disappears. I’d have my face on Bailly’s wall and a bounty on my head by the time the sun rises.”
“You sap the fun out of everything.”
“Killing is not supposed to be fun.”
“Clearly, you have not been doing it correctly!”
“Death is not always the answer. And like I said, it’s not going to help in this situation.”
“We would not have to listen to him masticating his food, or respiring... That would help me.”
“That’s it? Chewing loudly? That’s enough to sentence him to a painful death?”
“If it makes it any more palatable, it is not his only sin… Do not roll your eyes at me… And are you not being a tad hypocritical. Killing someone is exactly why you are in this predicament."
"I didn’t kill anyone.”
“Semantics! You provided Wren the potion. You ground the aconite, knowing it would be fatal to the man… wolf… whatever he was. Why is it ok for you to curtail someone’s life, but not me?”
“It’s not the same thing."
"Why, because when you do it, it is for the “greater good”, and when I do it-"
"He got off lightly! He deserved far more!”
“I do not doubt it, Leigh. I have no issues with the man's demise. It is the double standard I cannot abide!”
“Don’t talk to me about double standards. We are leagues apart! I… do not eat people! I... do not suck out their souls! I… do not keep you up half the night crunching on their bones and then whining about bits being stuck in my teeth!”
“That was one time… And I cannot help it if I have dietary requirements. The fact that you would bring that up knowing the limitation I have to endure in the mortal realm… Human flesh is the only thing that sustains me. And it is only once a month. I have cut back dramatically. You are constantly killing things to eat.”
“Rabbits! They are RABBITS! It is NOT the same thing!”
“Stop shouting! Someone will hear you and then you will have to explain why you are talking to yourself… Again. Extracting you from this iron prison is one thing, escaping a straitjacket and a padded cell... far trickier.”
“Well, stop being ridiculous.”
“Humans… Rabbits… they are both vermin.”
“Why couldn’t I be bonded with a normal familiar...? A nice cat. Or perhaps a raven. Anything BUT HELL SPAWN!”
“What is it with you and cats… This is not a dream partnership for me either. Do you think I want to here? It is cold and miserable. And let us not forget who called on who. I was quite happy, minding my own business, in Hel. You are the one who decided, on a whim, that you were lonely and wanted a ‘spiritual companion’.”
“I wanted a spirit animal.”
"Well, you got me! I can shift into any animal you want. Except a cat!!"
“You’re a monster.”
“Yes, I am. And yet, you have absolutely no problem mouthing off at me every chance you get. So clearly, I am not a very intimidating one!”
“Maybe, I’m just a monster too.”
“Oh please… Now who is being ridiculous.”
"No, seriously, I mean I hurt everybody. Even my kin turned their back on me."
"Your Coven-"
"Ex-"
"They are idiots. And your grandmother is a fool!"
“You’ve said it yourself; I've killed people... What does that make me...?
"Interesting...? Complicated...?”
"Baal..."
“Yes, Leigh. You have fleeting moments of darkness, but they are quickly swallowed by gallons of guilt so that they may as well not exist! We are not the same. I was forged in blood and fire for the very purpose of eating souls. To be a monster. I've trained for millennia to hunt and kill. You are just… Well, you are you…”
“Don’t laugh at me. I was born with a conscience.”
“A very human and pointless trait that I have no need of. Though it is endearing on you…”
"I'm not human..."
"Obviously, Witch... Otherwise, we would not be having this conversation."
"I am sorry."
"For what?"
"For binding you, to me... It wasn't my intention."
"You called. I answered. There is no changing that now. No going back. I am yours. Your own personal monster. You would think you would show more gratitude!"
"I guess I can live with that."
"Shame... I do not believe the guard will."
"No-"
"Too late. Now, let us get you out of here. Shall we."
"You are cleaning that up."
"Hmmm... Delicious!"


Lyrics ▼

Good for you, you fooled everybody
Good for you, you fooled everyone
Good for you, now you're somebody
Good for you, you fooled everyone

Leave your weapon on the table
Wrapped in burlap, barely able
Don't get angry, don't discourage
Take a shot of liquid courage

'Cause my monsters are real, and they're trained how to kill
And there's no comin' back and they just laughed at how I feel
And these monsters can fight, and they'll never say die
And there's no goin' back, if I get trapped I'll never heal
Yeah, my monsters are real

Good for you, you hurt everybody
Good for you, you hurt everyone
Good for you, you love nobody
Good for you, you owe no one

Leave your weapon on the table
Wrapped in burlap, barely able
Call a doctor, say a prayer
Choose a god you think is there

'Cause my monsters are real, and they're trained how to kill
And there's no comin' back and they just laughed at how I feel
And these monsters can fight, and they'll never say die
And there's no goin' back, if I get trapped I'll never heal
'Cause my monsters are real

Leave your weapon on the table
Wrapped in burlap, barely able
Don't get angry, don't discourage
Take a shot of liquid courage
Leave a light on if you're able
'Cause we both know you're unstable
Call a doctor, say a prayer
Choose a god you think is there

'Cause my monsters are real, and they're trained how to kill
And there's no comin' back and they just laughed at how I feel
And these monsters can fight, and they'll never say die
And there's no goin' back, if I get trapped I'll never heal
Yeah, my monsters are real