Life With A Werewolf

Unwelcomed Neighbors Part 1

We all get those parts of our jobs that we hate. Part of our job is dealing with unruly customers, the kind that drives us nuts and makes us want to violate one or two company rules and probably a law or two. I'm not exempted from this. Working part-time for Crash's special unit division thing, which I still don't know the name of, and which has become something of an office prank on me, I get those types of customers. It's worse when that customer is one that Crash was supposed to kill but had managed to get away.
         I'm still puzzled how he did it. But he sure as hell did. His gnarled wooden cane made a soft thwump thwump thwump on the floor as he walked across our office. Technically, as a part-time employee of the special division, unit thing that Crash works for, I'm not allowed to have a desk of my own. So, I've been forced to share one with Crash.
         Crash is getting the better end of this deal. Can't tell you the number of times I walked into an office only to find a stack of paperwork with Crash's scrawled and sometimes bloody signature on it. Only the words "fill these reports out and I'll sign it later. Thanks." on a Post-It note on top of them, each form had somehow had a different label for the department over the heading. "Special Investigations Unit", "Mythical Creature Commandos", "Law and Order: Fur and Claw Unit". Okay, that last one made me giggle. It's lead to more than one discussion of my duty around the office. Which has led me to not filling out the paperwork as he asked. Which has led to more pranks. We'll talk it out soon. We always do.
         But the man standing before me that day wasn't Crash. From his overalls, the shit eating grin on his face, the glint in his eye and the backwoods' hillbilly heroine millionaire look about him, it could only be Garrett. Despite having his tail ripped off, there was no loss of height. In human form, one leg had lost a lot of mass. His green eyes held a murderous look of triumph. "I understand there's a vacancy in your little town for my kind."
         If you don't remember Garrett. Him, Marissa and Tarissa some time ago had decided they were going to reconnect with their long-lost sister, Elouise. Elouise had stolen a significant sum of money from them, they wanted it back. But more than that, they attempted to scam the good folks of our little county out of money and had murdered an innocent couple in the process. The entire ordeal was covered in the 'New Business Ventures' episodes.
         The most shocking thing about that was the fact that he was standing there in front of my desk, in the middle of our office. Not in handcuffs, not in pieces. But in what looked to be his best overalls and flannel shirt! And none of the other mythicals in the building were doing a thing about it. "Didn't you murder a family and threaten to eat me or something? That sort of thing puts a bit of a damper on the whole 'Let's be neighbors' thing you're trying here."
         His lip didn't even curl up into a snarl, as if he expected the accusation. "You weren't an officer then. Heck, you technically aren't now, just the human secretary they suckered into doing this job. Besides, I got myself a pardon! Now where's that damn paperwork?"
         I left him at the desk, asking one of the mythicals on office duty to keep an eye on him. (Guy asked to be out of this blog. So, maybe I didn't even get the gender right, heh.) I went and talked to the boss, who only grunted, "send his tailless ass in. I'll speak to him."
         Curses flew under my breath as I walked over like a sequestered monk in humble prayer. When I sat down, I could see Garrett had heard every one from the shit eating grin on his face. "Boss will speak to you sir."
         "Ain't what you called me walking over," he laughed. "Why don't you stick around boy, I may want a bite after." He chuckled in the back of his throat at the comment.
         "I'll be an expensive meal, gatorboy. Go ahead and try it, I'd love a new pair of alligator boots."
         It shut his laughter up. Before he could retort I shouted over to the resident werebear or whatever his species is called and shouted "Hey boss! Garrett here is threatening your favorite human."
         "You're my only human. Tell him to get his scaly ass in here."
         Garrett gave me a dismissive snort and walked over to the bosses' office, his head held high as if he had won some grand prize. What I had expected and what happened were entirely different things. I had expected the boss to laugh, say hell no, and kick his sorry ass out, telling him 'pardon or no pardon, you're not welcome'. Instead, the boss snarled at him, and pointed a finger that was starting to become a claw at Garrett, shouting. I couldn't hear what was said, my hearing isn't good enough. But office gossip tells me it was nothing good. But he still agreed and processed the paperwork himself.
         That isn't the part that hurt. What hurt was what bossman had told me after. "Stay away from him and his family. That goes for you, Crash, and everyone else in your pack. Stay the hell away."
         It took a lot to bite back what I wanted to say then. Instead, I as respectfully as I could, pointed out the facts: they weren't going to stay away from us. Far from it, in fact. "I'm willing to bet, sir, that they'll try to move in next door."
         "Lucky for you, I vetoed that. They're buying property near the county line, near an entirely different town. You and yours should be left alone. If they bother you, Crash knows what to do. Don't you dare even glare at him."
         "He's the rougarou!"
         Boss sighed and leaned back in his chair. "Yes, but you're the human that threatened him."
         My jaw dropped for a moment. It took a couple of tries before I could respond without shouting at him. "He threatened me first. Said 'stick around, I may want a bite after'."
         "Yes, and he says he was inviting you to lunch, and you threatened him."
         I pounded the desk. "He threatened to eat me before!"
         Boss sighed and rubbed his temples. "Were you this much trouble in the military?"
         "No, in the military I could have shot him."
         He nodded at that and leaned back in his chair. "Believe me, I wish I could sink my teeth into that slippery bastard. But sometimes in law enforcement all you can do is play the long game. That means smiling and waving at scum like that while you wait for them to slip up. That's what you're doing Forte. Wait for him to slip up. Don't talk to him. Don't approach him. If he talks to you, don't respond. You got it?"
         "Got it," I said, dejectedly.
         Garrett had somehow beaten me before we had even had a chance for our next fight. He'd taken my two greatest assets off the board: my mouth and my pistol. What else could I do then but nod at him when I left the office, and go back to my desk. Fortunately, he didn't press his luck. After all, egging me on may get a rise out of me, but would destroy his entire 'innocent victim' shtick. But he did manage to walk by my desk one more time, thumping the cane extra loud to try and make me look at him.
         This entire situation would have been much easier to deal with in the military. A guy like Garrett would have been killed already. There wouldn't have been any of the jurisdictional nonsense. Bad guy is there. Located. Destroyed. End of list. But here, it's as if they're inviting him and his family into the damn county. Playing a game of chess with the lives in the county as chess pieces. I just hope that they figure something out soon, before Garrett tries to make a play for checkmate. That slippery bastard is smart enough to get it.