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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/940030
Rated: 13+ · Book · Comedy · #2162989
This is a dumpster for some really bad but funny (cringy) stories.
#940030 added August 23, 2018 at 9:10pm
Restrictions: None
Idiotic Compilation: Story XII: History 101 (wip)
History is an interesting subject, but teachers spend months explaining it when it could be explained simply in 5 minutes.
So here you go.
All of world history in 5 minutes (depends on how fast you read)
Yes, this is inspired by bill wurtz, go check him out

We're on a place that has faced atom bombs, funny looking fish, and empires that split apart after a family dies
And it began when some idiot crashed into us and made two fiery balls of rock and space crap
The large one is Earth
The small one is the Moon
And it rained lava and hot crap for so long Earth decided to melt it down by adding water to the place
It was a bad idea since it flooded
It was also a good idea since the water and lava formed land and stuff
But everything lived at the bottom of the ocean and peeps who tried to come up died since the atmosphere was trash and so were their lungs
But they didn't have lungs
Later the atmosphere wasn't trash but they didn't bother to go on land since it had no food
Later the atmosphere continued to not be trash and bugs and insects went on there
Later the atmosphere continued to continue not being trash and bugs and insects and other stuff went on there
Later the atmosphere continued to continue to continue not being trash and the dinosaurs lived and died shortly after they lived
Later the atmosphere continued to continue to continue to continue not being trash and mammals came to Earth and formed into stuff with 4 limbs and stuff with 2 limbs
Focus on the things with 2 limbs
They became monkeys
Then they became chimpanzees and being monkeys
Then they became apes after being chimpanzees after being monkeys
Then they became humans after being apes after being chimpanzees after being monkeys
Then they ran around with tents and pointy rocks and animal meat and grass
And invented fire and wheels and stuff with pointy rocks using pointy rocks
Until they realized that you can combine water, dirt, and seeds and make stuff other than animal meat and grass
Then they built homes
But the person who owned the farm ate the most and had the better house than his friends
Then those farming villages combined into towns
Then those farming towns combined into cities
Then a place called Mesopotamia was made after farming villages combined into farming towns, and those farming towns combined into farming cities and those farming cities combined into a kingdom
Then those kingdoms combined into a civilization
Those kingdoms went to war
Then after a while another civilization rose up and other civilizations died
There were 5 civilizations
China
Mesopotamia
Eygpt
Indus River Valley
Norte Chico
Then they got invaded except for China
But China kept breaking into pieces and almost died a few times
Later European people got on Earth
And made stupid ideas
Like saying that the Earth is in the center of everything and that the Earth is flat
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