by Bob'n Around
Invisible matters of the mind turned real into the written word.
|Weekly Screams!!! win
Name's Huffy Price. Don’t ask. You aren’t another one of the weird ones are you? I attract them. Always have. Young, old, age doesn’t matter. They see me. Their eyes light up with some kind of magnetism and I can’t run fast enough.
I know. I can see it on your lips. You are one of them. Think you are unique? Each has their own secret solution to what’s wrong with their paranoid delusional world and how to fix it. All they need is a little help. That’s where I come in.
Take, for instance, the last one of you chancing upon the scene. A weird old man who tried selling me a barometer.
Hah. A barometer, right? What’s that got to do with anything you ask? So did I. My mistake. Air pressure goes down? Storm coming. Goes up? Fair weather.
Something wrong with this one. It doesn’t detect the weather. It makes it happen. Yeah. Right. Says he didn’t believe it either until he took it off the hands of the guy that sold him that bill of goods. Buy it and try it. You’ll see.
Things happen, right? Coincidence. He bought it to get rid of the nuisance. Dude wouldn’t leave him alone. There was this kind of electric shock like a piece of lightning striking him when the thing exchanged hands. Oh, my man was all right. Not the seller. The charge burned him to a crisp. Talk about smell. And how was my dude going to explain things? He boogied.
Yeah. I lied. Your eyes are reading me right. I’m that dude. Here’s the barometer. It tune’s itself to emotions. Feelings are like the weather, right? Mercurial. Yeah. Mercury is what they use in barometers, you know that?
I’m not feeding you one. Fact. On a happy day? Perfect weather. Pollution? Gone. Perfect air conditioning. Light cool breeze. Gentle mist of rain to make it smell good. Last’s just long enough to not be a bother.
On a mad day? You do not want to be within a hundred miles. End of the world apocryphal stuff on a local level shrugged off as microburst climate change.
I see where your mind is going. I tried it. Thing wouldn’t burn. Sledge hammer broke on it. Threw it away and it showed up right after. Spooky shit. Selling it is the only way to get rid of it and I get burned to a crisp the moment I do. Catch-22.
Thing is. Most times I’m normal. Least wise when I’m on my meds. Manic depressive when I’m not. See. What happened is I lost my meds and I’m coming down from a high. I can feel the weather starting to turn.
This is going to be a bad one. I can’t stand being responsible for what is about to happen. I need your help. Make up your mind. Are you in a buying mood? Feel that icy wind coming out of nowhere? See those roiling dark clouds?