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 |  Radio Steve, broadcasting the latest news and gossip from the asylum |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** What you read here may seem shocking, and it might even be true, so please make a comment... and then the next headline will be YOU! Mwahahahaha! |
| First we have to chisel out a chunk of stone to call our own - that's childhood and youth. Then we have to carve and sculpt it into a shape that we can accept, enjoy, and be proud of - that's maturity. Then we have to watch the result of our years of work be eroded by time until it crumbles into dust - that's old age. I can't decide whether my little metaphor above is inspirational or cynical. That's the trouble with my little metaphors. I keep them in cages in the backyard - Life is like a day at the beach; Life is like a good book; Life is like a box of chocolates (I'm actually keeping that one for a friend of mine); Life is like the Internet; Life is like a tall hairy guy who doesn't know your name but wants to play with you anyway; Life is like a two dollar bill; Life is like... Ah well, what's the use? They are all so cute. You can be a cat lady and I'll be a metaphor man.  |
| Or maybe she can. Radio Steve doesn't know. He just thought it would be ironic if she couldn't. It would be like somebody with the handle SmoothTalker being a stutterer. Radio Steve has now hurt somebody's feelings who was compensating for some failing by naming themself the opposite, or maybe they were just doing it as a clever disguise. For instance, I considered a handle of Scrawny Dork because if I called myself Intelligent Hunk, then real-life acquaintances would immediately recognize it was me. Scrawny Dork would throw them off the scent. Hmmm... Sweet Smell would be a good handle for me... It's like Philthy calling himself Philthy because he is really Mister Clean. Or Elusive Ennui calling herself Elusive Ennui because she is really Blatant Perkiness. So the next time you see an impressive handle, just think "I wonder if this writer is really an extraterrastrial spy who is using WDC as a cover to spy on human civilization so that when the aliens invade they will know all our weak spots and can be sure of victory?" Now you know why I don't call myself Crazy Steve. |
My dreams are becoming longer and more elaborate. Plots unfold, things happen in a very realistic way. It's like being at the movies. I don't know why this is happening. Where are my bizarre nonsensical dreams of yesterday? Now it's like an alternate life that I live through at night!  How about you? Epic dreams or summer camp skit dreams? And you who are about to say "I don't dream" - sorry, but yes, you DO dream. Everyone does. I suspect you use an alarm clock to wake up. People who wake up naturally almost always awaken from a dream because dreams occur during the lightest phase of sleep. But with an alarm clock you can be yanked out of Deep Sleep where there are no dreams. And it feels awful to wake up that way, doesn't it?  |
| I'm sure you have seen blogs with entries like "Not much happening now" or "I couldn't think of anything today" or "Aaarrrrgh!" or some other expression of disgust about how they don't really have anything to put in the blog but they feel that they must put SOMETHING because they keep getting those damn email "reminders" - Update your blog, please update your blog, don't forget you have a blog, your blog needs updating, you procrastinating Bozo! Radio Steve will never resort to "filler" entries. You will not see us lamely proclaiming that we have "nothing" to say. We will take the high road and go ahead and say it. Birthday Celebration Update: It's been a week of fun and merriment, but now the cake is getting stale, the crepe paper decorations are tattered and torn, the guests are sleeping off their drunken revelries and the ice cream has melted (and so has the ice in the punch bowl which could be a clumsy metaphorical way of saying things ain't cool anymore if Radio Steve was inclined to long clumsy sentences with parenthetical statements longer than the main thought - but fortunately he's not). Meanwhile... Hurrican Rita marches relentlessly forward and the nation holds its breath. Breathe, damn you, or we'll all suffocate! *gasp* That's better. Despite the relentless onslaught of Hurrican Rita, the nation breathes easier knowing that her strength has weakened and she might not be Katrina's twin sister... or is she? Mwahahahahaha! |
| Okay... Finnley? We're going to have to work on your image. It needs more pizazz to be Radio Steve headline-worthy. Are you sure you never lived in India with a yogi? Never played a key role in the overthrow of a government? Never inherited ten million dollars and then lost it all in one bet at the roulette table? Never gave a command performance for the Queen? Never gone to New Zealand for the annual Jandal Whacking Festival? Never pedaled a bicycle up a mountain in France and then tumbled back down in a tangled mess of spokes and screams? I know! Maybe you could get pregnant? "Invalid Item"  |
I know! Isn't that a hell of a thing to happen right here during Birthday Week? I don't even know who invited Philthy to the party, but I just saw him stumbling around in back of the previous entry, and it DOES seem like he WILL be going to Hell!  |
| Radio Steve wanted to change all the header colors and put balloons up but apparently SOMEBODY decided that his WDC membership level was too low to give him access to the site's scripting language. Nevermind, we're still going to party - just in a low-key way that doesn't upset the other 500,000 members. MaryLou and Nicognito are baking a cake. They are still fighting over who gets to pop out of it in their birthday suit. Personally, I think the fight is more fun than the cake. "Grab her hair! Lookout! Ooooh! Don't grab her THERE!" Erik Stark, I'll send you a telegram so you don't show up LATE with my present. (Bless his heart... )Everybody else, I hate to put you to the trouble of shopping for a present for me. So I have borrowed a credit card machine. Just bring your VISA or MasterCard with you. Cash or Money Order also is okay. NO PERSONAL CHECKS! But it's not about gifts, it's about growing old and dying. No, wait! I don't want it to be about that! It's about... Help me out here... Oh yeah... Love and friendship and all that kind of mushy crap. See you at the party! Is it really necessary for Radio Steve to post a disclaimer that Steve may be younger than he claims? I claim it's not. |
| I've spent a few minutes looking at various blogs at WDC. One extreme is the totally self-involved blog where it feels like you are listening in on the writer's thoughts, sometimes to the point that they are talking about people in their daily life and you have NO IDEA who those people are. Another extreme is the rant blog, where someone searches the news media for events that they can then rant about, even though the only connection they have to the event is that they saw it on the television. Maybe their opinion is their connection. I guess my personal favorite blogs are the ones like Nicognito's which are about people at WDC as much as they are about anything else. I could probably get interested in one of those "totally self-involved" blogs if I followed it daily and the writer had an active sex life but the "rant" blog will probably never interest me much. It reminds me too much of how when I visit my aging mother she will say "Isn't that terrible how..." and then recite something that she saw on the TV news. Yes, it's terrible, and guess what? I have a television, too.  |
| ...when you brush your teeth with Pepsodent. Know any old ad jingles? Ads don't use jingles much anymore. The heyday of jingles was years ago. Old Spice means quality said the Captain to the Bosun, So look for the bottle with the ship that sails the ocean Then came the era of the "catch phrase" It's the real thing! Just DO it! But those old jingle songs are nifty... Brylcream, a little dab will do you Brylcream, you'll look so debonair Brylcream, all the gals will pursue you... Simply rub a little in your hair! Doesn't that conjure up images of men with oiled hair wearing hats, women in dresses with big shoulders, and everything in black&white? Do you know any jingles? Post them here! |
| Hi, Fluffy Silver! Thanks for making a comment here. You'll like Writing.com - good people! Don't forget to visit the In&Outs - that's where all the kool kids hang out. Fluffy Silver just joined WDC only MINUTES ago! Her first action was to post a comment at Radio Steve. |
| Do you know any words that make no use of a,e,i,o,u in their spelling? I already have a few: gypsy, pygmy, my, by, spy, cry... but i need more! |
| Radio Steve has received word that on September 8th Erik Stark became 18+x years old, where x equals the number of years past 18 that Erik Stark's age currently is. I would do the math for you but it's just simple high school algebra and I am sure you can handle it. (Hint: Ignore his eye color. Let his height be represented by y and his girth by z. It might help to draw a small graph. And don't forget that x could be minus or zero!) All of us here at Radio Steve went out in the cornfield today so we could do one of those scenes where we all jump up and yell, "Yaaa-hooo! Happy Birthday, Erik Stark!"  And for all you listeners who are wishing it was YOUR birthday... remember our slogan "If a comment you do, look for an entry about YOU!" |
| Have you ever been bopping along, feeling quite good about yourself, admiring all your golden creations, when suddenly, for no apparent reason, there is a shift in your internal perspective and the glitter dims, the shine tarnishes, and what once seemed gold is now just dull heavy lead? You thought you were carrying a bowl of flowers from your garden but now it's revealed to be a sack of garbage from the kitchen. It's the kind of realization that can sap your strength and destroy your motivation. Why should I keep creating garbage? It's worthless crap. It would be better if I do nothing at all. Not true! Don't give in to your own inner criticism! Keep going anyway, despite the feelings of worthlessness. Despite the harsh landscape around you, the geography WILL change. You WILL feel that it's all worthwhile again. But ONLY if you KEEP GOING. If you STOP and QUIT, then you will never notice when the path gets better, because you won't be on it anymore. You'll be stuck back there in Worthless Hollow, nursing your wounds and moaning that "Life is just a pile of shit". How sad that you didn't climb up the Hill of Constant Effort so that you could leave the Valley of Despair and travel up and over down into Pleasant Valley where the sun is shining and the Bluebird of Happiness likes to perch on your shoulder and sing encouragement into your pink glowing ears. These words of inspirational philosophy were brought to you by Radio Steve, where it's not just about gossip, flirting, beer, and reality television - it's also about making a quick buck and eluding the authorities. Thanks for listening! |
| We don't see much of Elisa around here ever since that little scandal in Blog Entry #5 "Invalid Entry" where we reported that Elisa had a sexual experience and then it turned out that it was just our reporter's imagination but it was too late to save Elisa's reputation because we had already published the item in Radio Steve so Elisa was justifiably ticked off with Radio Steve but what could Steve do when the information was already broadcast? Anyway... Elisa is back and this time we promise not to dwell endlessly on her sexual behavior. It's really none of our business what she does in the privacy of her port. In her port? (Hank! Get a reporter over to Elisa's port right away! I just got a tip that...) Excuse me! I'm back. Just a little Radio Steve business to attend to. Where was I? Oh yeah. The big apology to Elisa for broadcasting her sexual behavior all over the planet. Sorry about that. Now... Let's move on to the next item. |
| You've probably noticed that I can be ironic, cynical, sarcastic, and bite your ass at the drop of a stick. Sometimes I wish I was a nice kind person that said nice things about other people. I want to send out C-notes with flowers and kittens on them. I want to remember people's birthdays. I want to encourage others and be helpful. Sometimes I want to be like that. You know... Just to see what it feels like... Sometimes I want to be more and less but then I get  at the idea of being all the time and that makes me  so I get  and break something ... sigh ... |
| What a coincidence! I once longed for that myself. (I know - "It's not about ME, it's about YOU" - Don't be so picky. ) Maybe I can give Aria some tips on what NOT to do, because obviously I never became a mermaid. Well, not completely anyway. I did manage to make myself smell like fresh salmon, but I think it takes more than that to be a mermaid. Don't buy one of those rubber tailfins that you pull over your legs like a pair of toreador pants. They do NOT work well and I almost drowned. Don't buy a rubber raft shaped like a boulder and float out beyond the surf singing siren melodies. When they had to come out to rescue me the Coast Guard got very snippy with me and implied that only a crazy person would try to be a mermaid. We know THAT is NOT true, don't we, Aria? And I should warn you that (no matter how easy it looks on "Flipper") riding a dolphin will chafe your inner thighs something awful. I guess it's the combination of that rough dolphin skin and the salt water. Anyway, a real mermaid would not go everywhere by riding a dolphin - she would swim there herself. So what I recommend is to put swim flippers on your feet and tape your legs together with duct tape (it's waterproof) and then practice your swimming until you can move through the water easily while calling out in a sultry voice "Hi,sailor! Don't you want to jump off that boat and come swim with me?" |
| Roo is calling herself Summer Dress Girl today. Do you think there is a story there? Is there a guy she wants to wear a summer dress for? Or is she just tired of walking around in a black wool skirt when the weather is over 90 degrees? Or is she sad that summer is over and autumn is here and so she is dressing nostalgically? It makes you think, doesn't it? Well, it made ME think. |
| I don't understand how ducks got onto bread? As far as I can tell their natural food seems to be stuff they dig up off the bottom of the pond and maybe some green plants they pull up along thse shore. How is it that some human can walk up with a paper bag and start throwing breadcrumbs in the water and the ducks go into a feeding frenzy? I think I will take a bag of soapflakes to the pond and start throwing those in. That will teach those ducks a lesson. They won't be so trusting and friendly next time someone walks up. Radio Steve -- making the world just a little bit worse than he found it |
| If you like to look at pretty pictures (and who doesn't? ) I uploaded a handful at "Invalid Item" |
| She's so optimistic that her costumicon is a smiley face, so it's not surprising that highly evolved has moved on to the next level of human evolution. I can only cross my hairy arms and grunt in amazement. |
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