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 |  My second blog. What you get are pieces of me; my humor, my memories: be welcome. |
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MY BOOK! http://www.lulu.com/davidmac73 This picture was in the header of my first blog and I wanted to bring it back. Me and my sweetie on our wedding day....it is my favorite picture. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This is my second Blog on WDC. The first Blog, Random Thoughts, is finished and done and I loved almost every minute I spent doing it. This blog will be somewhat different than the first because I want to use this space for my humor and my memories. The humor may sometimes fall flat and the memories may, at times be boring, but isn't that the way it is with life. Please join me here and partake in these pieces of me and if sometimes you find the jokes unfunny or the memories dull, then please come back another day and maybe you will find something to your liking. After all, like my daddy always said: "Some days you get the bear, some days the bear gets you." Thank you, vivacious   for this neat new logo for my blog! Yup, this about says it all, I think!** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I thought that Independence Day was the appropriate day to put this great new siggy in my blog....Thank you sultry ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Please check out Scarlett's Newsletter for Bloggers: The Blogville News
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Thank you, Startiara  for this lovely Siggy!! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
Lexophiles? No, my friends I prefer to call us...Punsters and I do love a good play on words. I found this little thing on the Web and thought I would share it with you today....Enjoy. HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES: I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. Police were called to a day care where a 3-yr-old was resisting a rest. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. The butcher backed up into the meat grinder & got a little behind in his work. To write with a broken pencil is pointless. When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A. The dead batteries were given out free of charge. A dentist & a manicurist fought tooth and nail. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired. A will is a dead giveaway. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. A backward poet writes inverse. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I'll show you A-flat miner. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered. A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France, resulted in Linoleum Blownapart. You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it. A calendar's days are numbered. A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine. A boiled egg is hard to beat. He had a photographic memory which was never developed. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis Acupuncture: a jab well done. |
| First of all, I need to apologize to a lot of people for my lack of commenting in blogs for the last week or so. It is this damn schedule I am forced to work; It is a mid-shift so I am pressed for time to write when I get up in the morning, before work, and I only have an hour or so when I get home to do any reading or writing, before it is time for bed. I am just too damned rushed and I have started to just come home and....slow down, and just do nothing rather than try to catch up on the blog pages. My days off being split...on Tuesday and Friday....it is like not having a day off at all...just not enough time. Not only do I read and comment less, but I am finding it harder and harder to write a blog entry...my mind just won't focus enough to get the job done. Everything comes out like this entry....sounding like Drivel. Speaking of Drivel, I need a topic for today's blog don't I. Well okay, let's run down the list of possible blog topics I could write about..... 1. Politics.....God, who cares anymore? I tell you what, I will just let a man who was a hell of a lot smarter than me, do the talking on politics. Here are some quotes from Will Rogers....the man should have been President! "There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you." "This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer." " The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best." 2.The War on Terrorism..... Yeah, well I've said it over and over so I may as well say it one more time....You can not use diplomacy on fanatics. If you give in to them in any way they view it as a victory. They will not be happy until America is spoken of in the past tense, so until you are ready to put terrorist on The Endangered Species list, we got nothing to talk about. 3.Deaths in the News....Two well known personalities passed away this past week; Tim Russert and George Carlin. Now I liked Russert, he was a very down to earth, personable guy who always came across as sincere on Meet the Press. I did not ever agree with his political beliefs, but at my age I find that a person's political views mean a hell of a lot less than the type of person they are. As for Carlin....gifted comedian, he made me laugh sometimes until I feared I would pee myself. He was 71 years old, so all things considered, he had a good run, don't you think. The thing is, when I read of these deaths I had a "Oh my" moment, I thought to myself: "Geeze, sorry to hear that." and then I went on with my day. I have read a lot this past week of people saying how they were "crushed" by the news of the death, or that they were in mourning. Well if I had known either of these men personally, I too would have suffered some grief, but since they were both strangers to me, except for what I have seen on TV, I will leave the grief to their families who I know must be rightfully suffering the loss of two fine gentlemen. 4. The Economy....Well what's there to say? It's all going to Hell in a Hand basket, it is going to get a hell of a lot worse before it gets better, and them that has the money will keep the money, while the rest of us just bitch and moan about it....see, nothing new to write about there either. 5.Blog Rules....(I had to have something to make a list-of-five) Nothing has changed here either...YES, there are rules. So you see, nothing new to write about on that subject either.  So there you have my latest drivel and absolutely nothing new to write about. Now if you will pardon me, I must go kick Mel off the Xbox and go shoot someone. Nothing says "stress relief" like putting an imaginary round down range into someones brain-pan. |
| Today is a special day for me, it is my sweet wife's birthday. On this day some years ago, God did me the eternal favor of putting this woman on the earth. I am just sorry it took me so damn long to find her. I have to work today, but I am off tomorrow and THAT day will belong to Mel so don't expect to see me on the computer....Did I just hear a big sigh of relief? Have a good couple of days, I know I will as I celebrate my baby's birthday. |
| My favorite time of day is when I pull into my driveway at the end of a long day at work. What makes this my favorite time is what is waiting for me when I stop the car. I can always count on Mel sitting on the front porch, holding Booker in her lap...they are waiting for me. When I step out of the car, she relaxes her hold on Booker and he flies out of her lap and charges toward me, tail wagging, silly grin on his face, and he skids to a stop at my feet and demands petting. When I reach the porch, Mel hands me a cold glass of Pepsi and I take a seat next to her. She wants to hear all about my day, and I tell her. She then brings me up to date on all the happenings on the farm. This is my golden time and I truly feel sorry for anyone who does not get to experience that feeling of love that passes between two people after being separated all day. In truth, most of my good blogs stem from these late evening talks on my front porch. Mel and I will touch on many varied topics. We talk to each other and more importantly...we listen to each other. I can not imagine not having these talks and I can not imagine how sad and lonely it is to come home to an empty house at the end of the day. Yesterday, was no exception. I have no idea how the topic came up, but we began to talk about things you bought in country stores when we were kids. Do any of you remember those big cookies...probably four inches in diameter...that were stored in a large glass container and sold for a penny each? What did they call them? I know they had the face of an elf etched on each cookie....God I loved those things. What about "Rat-Trap cheese, anyone out there remember those big hoops of cheese called Rat-Trap? It was actually extra-sharp cheddar but I think it was called "Rat-Trap because that was the cheese of choice for those wanting to arm their rat traps. I could take a big ole hunk of that stuff and a couple of those cookies and make a meal out of them. Ice was another thing.....anyone remember when ice came in 300lb blocks and you could buy any portion of that block you wanted and the man would chip off what you needed. If you wanted "crushed" ice, they had a ice crusher right there and would run your ice through that and put it in a sack for you, or into your cooler. Gas was 30 cents a gallon and a guy would pump it for you and wash your windshield and check your oil and tires. Yeah, I know, I just dated the hell out of myself didn't I. Mel remembered all those different penny candies that each store kept stocked behind a big glass counter. Hard candies like Watermelon, Root Beer, Grape; Candy bars for 5 cents....bigger than the same bars we get now for a dollar. Do you remember the smells of that candy when you walked in the door? Many of those candies are no longer with us and I have forgotten all the individual names, maybe some of you out there remember them, or remember your favorite candy you use to beg mom and dad for every time you went to the store....leave me your list. So anyway...we sat on our front porch last night and we reminisced about a time long gone and dead. We smiled with each new memory we managed to dredge up from our old brains and we thought of how it was back then. She and I, we live in a different world now, a world of fast cars, $4 gas, and $1 candy bars. A world that is colder, more vindictive, more strident and dangerous, but you know what.....that's okay. Me and my girl can block it all away at the end of my driveway because we will always have each other and together we can remember that other world....and smile. We might be as poor as a church mouse, but we have it made as long as we can have those evening porch talks. |
| "There are no rules in Blog writing." I have heard that, in one form or another ever since I have been on this site and I gotta tell you....That's a crock! My friends, there are rules to everything and writing a blog is no different. I agree that blogs are widely varied and can be written on many different subjects and in many styles of voice, but there has to be a few rules to define the genre. Chief among these rules are to Entertain and/or Inform. If you are unable to entertain your readers...keep them interested...then how do you expect to keep them coming back? And, yes, you DO care. Please be honest about that. I don't know how many times I have had people tell me they don't care if anyone reads their blog or not because they write for themselves. To that I usually answer: "Bull Hockey." Folks, if you wrote just for yourself then you would mark the thing private and just write your little heart out, so don't tell me you don't care. Personally, anything I write that appears on a public forum, I try to write to the best of my ability....which ain't that much....but I do try. Another rule that should be adhered to religiously is: Don't Whine Them to Death. It's okay to write about personal stuff and to complain sometimes when things are not going well, but for God's sake, lighten up ever once in a while. Nobody wants to read 365 entries a year of "Oh Poor Me." Trust me, no matter how bad things are for you or for me at any given moment....there are people out there who have it a hell of a lot worse. Do you have any rules of blogging? If you do, go ahead and leave them here because time has run out for me and I have to get ready for work. Good thing too because I could probably write a short book on this subject. So let me hear your thoughts on Blog rules. |
| Who says a guy can't be sensitive.....here is a little chuckle about a "sensitive" kind of guy. A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of tea in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his tea. 'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night?' The husband looks up from his tea and says, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he asks solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive. 'Yes, I do' she replies. The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?' 'Yes, I remember,' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will have you sent to jail for 20 years?' 'I remember that, too' she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says... 'I would have been out today.' |
| Rarely do I have the need to disagree with my big sister, Nada but I feel that I must come to the defense of my gender after her last blog entry. In her well written and even humorous blog she bemoaned the fact that men are soft and needy. She wants to know where all the manly-men have gone. Well look around Sis, there are still a few of us left on the planet, a few that have yet to be molded by you women into your ideal 21st century male.....the Metro-Male. Yes, you women did it, you just kept hounding us, nagging us, and beating us over the head with Cosmopolitan magazine, the bible for women wanting to “remake” their man. You demanded we be sensitive, you no longer wanted the “caveman”. You demanded we get in touch with our inner-selves, you didn’t want stoic, you wanted someone who would share their thoughts and feelings with you at the drop of a hat. You had to have a man who felt empathy with others. Well ladies you got em! Now you have no gripe coming, you reap what you sow. You traded in your Caveman for a weak-kneed, cry-at-the-drop-of-a-hat, spineless, Politically Correct, male so just suck it up, Suzie because this is what you wanted. You took a perfectly good ole boy who drank beer from a bottle, cussed and smoked, scratched and farted, and who wouldn’t be caught dead within ten miles of a damn Chick Flick and you RUINED HIM! Oh yeah, I see them everyday, come through the doors where I work, those poor guys who have been “changed” by their women. They walk in wearing their designer walking shorts, their little fanny packs, or man-purses, and sipping their bottled water. Hell they might as well wear a dang sign around their necks that says: WUSSY! I watched one of these poor creatures one day...a few years ago...as he walked along the meat coolers trying to make a decision on what cut of meat to buy. The whole time he had his stoopid cell phone plastered to his ear and was describing the meat to his wife. After about five minutes of this, I couldn’t stand it anymore and I walked up to him and said: “Dude...Man Up and just pick one. Take it home and tell her to cook the damn thing!” He just stared at me in shock. He would have been more likely to have bitch-slapped the Pope than to take something home his wife did not pre-approve. Sad, just so very sad. As I said at the first, there are still a few of us left who cling to the old ways. Oh don’t get me wrong, I did not go unaffected.....Mel tried to change me....but she failed miserably. I still drink my beer from the bottle and Mel knows better than to ask me if I would rather spend “quality” time with her or go bass fishing, unless she already has the trailer hooked to the truck because I would be out the door before she finished the sentence! I don’t do chick flicks. I don’t give a damn how Harry met Sally, or what their Terms of Endearment were, nor do I care what Atonement he had to suffer through. But, if you would quote a line from ANY John Wayne movie, I can dang sure give you the title and the co-stars! Speaking of Movies....that’s a good way to sum this up.....You women could not rest until you changed us all from Humphrey Bogart to Woody Allen. So now you are all tired of your Woody Allen and you yearn for Boggy! Well tough! You girls made us this way, now you gotta live with it! Oh a personal note: “Mel, honey-pie, sweet-lips, pooky bear; CC made me write this thing. It wasn’t my idea.” I would like to end this train wreck with the words of my man, Toby Keith...he does say it well doesn't he. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cYrlzEUuBIM |
| Those of you who are citizens of the same planet as myself...and there are one or two of you, I think, will know that this past week was the first week of the month of June. The first week of any month is something to be dreaded by those of us in Retail. The first of the month, the government checks are dispensed. Yup, the Money Express rolls down the Gravy Train tracks and delivers the fodder to the hog troughs of America. That can only mean one thing....Stampede to Wal-Mart to pick up a month’s supply of cheaply made, low-quality, supplies. Failing that, then attempt to steal anything in the store not nailed down. Yes, it’s truly a consumer version of Disney World. They flood through the doors like mindless lemmings in search for a cliff to throw themselves over and I stand there at the door, repaying bad Karma garnered from misdeeds of a previous life. Damn, I must have been Jack-the freaking-Ripper. Mind you, I am not complaining for, like my buddy Scarlett , I am not one to complain, but there are a few things I wish some of these folks would stop and consider before they charge out of their double-wide back in the foothills....Am I the only one who suddenly hears “Dueling Banjos” playing in the back ground?First of all, to the guys....After you get dressed and before you leave the house, look in the mirror at the clothes you are wearing to town. Ask yourself one question: “If I take these pants and shirt off right now, will they stand up all by their selves due to ground in dirt”? If the answer to that question is a resounding YES, then for the love of God...CHANGE CLOTHES! I promise you that changing clothes more than once a year is an accepted practice. To the ladies.....There are a few fashion “truths” you need to adhere to on your big trip into town with the hubby. Chief of these is....If you are five foot all and weigh in at over 500 pounds, then it is probably a safe bet that a halter-top and short-shorts is not a look that works for you. I mean, come on ladies if you don’t care about the poor people whose field of vision you will invade, then please give some thought to the damage you will do to your knees when you run down the main isle in a vain attempt to snag the last of the Lean Cuisine frozen entrees. Those bruises to the knee caps received by free-flopping titties are gonna be a long time healing! Yes....that was what my week was like, I certainly hope yours was better. Maybe tomorrow I will share a few more glimpses into this particular inner circle of hell known as First of the Month Rush at Wal-Mart. |
| I was watching TV the other day and caught just the tail end of a news report about a riot somewhere in Asia....don't even remember where. The thing that struck me is the fact that the people were protesting the price of gas. This was a serious protest too, reminded me of the 60's with cops armed with fire hoses and shooting rubber bullets to no avail. As I watched this, it suddenly dawned on me that we here in America could probably never get worked up enough to follow suit and protest like this again. Why? Well I believe that over the past thirty years Americans have become so obsessed with being Politically Correct in all our words and actions that we have lost the ability to feel passionately about anything. We have become a collection of repressed robots, conditioned to take whatever is thrown at us. The very worse social crime we can commit today is actually saying what we think and standing up to things we consider wrong. When will it end and what will it take for us to grow a set of balls again and stand up for what we believe? This country had no trouble standing up to my generation and making the government and all of us evil, baby-killing, monsters get out of an unpopular war, so why can't you take the same moral stand against the oil companies? No, it is so much easier to just bend over and take it. We dare not show any honest emotion. That is all well and good, but that is just not me. Not only should we take to the streets in protest, but we should have the moral strength to just park the damn cars. Hell just think of it as real life...you know...when steak is too expensive, we eat hamburger...that sort of thing. Park the cars, stay home on vacations (Staycations, it's called). Only drive when absolutely necessary. How about one trip a week to grocery shop? How about driving only to work and back and when able, take public transportation? In short... We need to grow a set of balls and fight back! This not only goes for the price of gas, but what about our everyday life. Why is it so hard for us to say what we really think, to disagree with the masses, to take a different path than that taken by the rest of the sheep? Have we become so conditioned, so brain-washed by the media and the liberal left that we can no longer voice any opinion not sanctioned first by the People's Republic of California or the Left Coast. I am proud of the fact that I am Politically INCORRECT and I plan on staying that way. You know, a thought just occurred to me....I think it is time that I started doing more Politically Incorrect blogs and saying what I really think. Yeah, why not send this blog out with a bang, who knows, it might be good for a few laughs if nothing else....if anyone still has a sense of humor left. |
| Just a song for my baby before I head to bed. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZBga34W57As |
| It's late, I am tired and I just finished a day from hell, at work. So rather than whine and snot about how I feel and bore to death whoever stumbles in here, I have decided to leave you something special. Now I know that Nada and Scarlett are two Murphy experts, but have they ever told you about some of Murphy's lesser known laws. Sure they will tell you about the famous "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong." That's an easy one, but do you know these? 1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. 2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest. 3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong. 7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try to pass them five or six at a time on a hill in the fog. 8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. 9. The things that come to those who wait will be the things left by those who got there first. 10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer. 11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries. 12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room. 13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty. There...now I am going to stagger away from the computer and see if I can throw myself into bed without missing. |
| As I have often stated in this blog, one has only to look to the animal kingdom to understand the human condition. I see parallels between the two every day as I watch my animals interact and go about their daily routines. Take, for instance, the newest addition to our goat herd. Last week Mel did some trading with another goat owner. We were selling our excess billy goats and Mel struck a deal to trade Wally for another goat. This new goat is a billy but more importantly he is half pygmy and half fainting goat and Mel has long wanted to introduce more of the "fainting" line into our herd. Well the deal was struck and last week the new goat was brought to our home and Wally was on his way to his new herd. Now as usual, when we acquire a new goat, we keep them in a holding pen for about a week until they are acclimated to their new home and to the new herd they are about to join...they can see each other through the fence. You can imagine my surprise when, a few days ago, I got out of bed and took my first cup of coffee out to where I could check on the herd. The new goat was no longer in the holding pen! At first I panicked, thinking he had somehow got loose and was wandering the roads, but upon closer examination I discovered that the brash little fellow had actually climbed the fence separating him from the rest of the herd and he was now in with the other goats. He was happily going about his business of screwing all the nannies while keeping poor Addy, our other billy, away from them. I had to laugh. This ole boy knew what he wanted and he was not going to be denied and I came up with his new name on the spot. Think about it, here was a new goat on the scene; half black, half white, half fainter, half pygmy who jumped right into the herd. He moved out the old leadership of Addy our other billy, and he got right to the business of screwing the rest of the herd. Of course I had to name him: Obama! The only problem I see in the future is if a predator gets into the pasture and attacks the herd. Addy, with his huge, curved, horns would have at least attempted to protect the herd. But now, with Obama in charge, at the first sign of danger all he can do is fall over in a dead faint, with all four feet in the air. This does not bode well for the herd. So you see, there really isn't that much difference between the animal world and the human world is there.  |
| A little clarification is needed here after my last entry. 1. The person who gave me the head's up about my book was, and still is, one of my best friends. They gave me their honest opinion in the hopes that I would not make the same mistakes when I published my second novel and for that I am very, very, grateful to them. 2. My opinion that I am not really a writer is not a new one and was not brought on by what I was told. I have NEVER considered myself a writer. I lack the education to be a serious writer and I am honest enough to be able to admit it to myself and the world. I am a storyteller who merely "tells" his story. I have, over the years, endeavoured to improve those writing skills but at this late date in my life, I doubt that it will get any better. Those are just the facts. But....I will continue to tell those stories. 3. When I make light of my slow speech and accent, that is just what I do. I always make fun of myself. There is no deep hurt or pain there, it is just what I do best. Hell, if I couldn't poke fun at me, I would just be bored to death. 4. I was serious when I said I wish I could afford to give people their money back because that is just how I was taught. I owe you the best, and when I fail to deliver the best, I feel the need to reimburse people. 5. I will forever love and respect the person who told me about the mistakes because their opinion was given out of love and respect for me. I think some of you were under the impression that what happened was like a nasty review and that was NOT the case at all. It was two friends talking frankly and honestly to one another. I felt bad when I learned the truth, but never once did I feel anger toward the one who told me. Hell, I have always respected anyone brave enough to give their honest opinion and I cherish that in my friend. To that friend: "Thank you for your honesty.....you have helped my novel even before it is published. Where would I be without you." |
| I am a storyteller, not a writer. This is a fact that was brought home to me yesterday and I am in full agreement with it. Yes, I am a storyteller who tells his stories in the written medium instead of the oral because, let's face it, if I were to try to simply "tell" my stories, I would lose my audience rather quickly due to the fact that I talk so slow and with such an accent, that even a "flash" fiction piece would take all day for me to relate to all of you. If there is one thing which everyone on this site shares in common it is the hope, the dream, of one day being PUBLISHED.....to go from "writer" to "author". To some, being published means being accepted by mainstream publishing, to others publishing independently is the answer. I have gone the independent route and I recommend it for anyone with a dream. Sure, I will never be interviewed on the Tonight Show to plug a book, but I can hold my words in my hand, in book form.....damn good feeling. I have found that the major draw back with Indie publishing is the fact that many times you KNOW the people who buy your book. Unlike mainstream publishing, where your book is thrown out to a mass market, with indie you get to actually talk to the buyer of your work. I say this is a drawback because when you run across someone who did not like your work, you feel guilty as hell. Well I feel guilty anyway, because someone has just spent hard earned money to buy your book and they were disappointed in the product. If I were able, I would give everyone who was unhappy with it their money back. Of course, being a poor guy, that option is off the table. All I can do is apologize profusely. I think the answer, for me, is to take classes to speed up my speech patterns and get rid of my accent so I can do my storytelling in the oral form. LOL...of course then we have the whole question of air pollution to deal with.....a guy just can't win. |
| I could not help but notice that a couple of dear friends on this site are nearing a milestone in their lives and have written blogs that were introspective and quite deep. I was giving those blogs some thought today at work because I too am fast approaching the same point in my life which my friends wrote about. Turning 60. I see this event not so much as a milestone, but rather a lonely lighthouse on a deserted island. You see I view life as a vast ocean, upon which we each sail in our own ships. Now each ship is different just as each of us is different. Some of us sail sleek schooners, or we cut through the ocean in fast, powerful liners. Some of us lumber along on leaky old barges that make slow headway while others speed across the miles of unknown waters. Though the oceans of our lives are by and large unknown to each of us who sail upon the waters, it is not as though we just plow blindly ahead. No, we have charts to aid us in our navigation. These charts are the examples left to us by those ancestors of ours who have all gone before us. Those who have sailed across life's ocean and made it to their destination have each left those of us who follow, lessons to guide our ship by. Between those charts, and our own ability to navigate by the great North Star called a Moral Code, the bright star just to the right of that constellation known as Our Conscious, we spend our days trying to avoid perilous shallows, reefs, and terrible storms, and stay on course. Those of us who have sailed long enough on Life's Ocean and are lucky enough to come within sight of that lonely lighthouse which marks our voyage as two-thirds done, are suddenly struck with the enormity of the quest we began at birth. Some of us can not help but wonder, now that more of the voyage lays behind us rather than before us, what, if anything, do we have left to accomplish before we sail into that final port-of-call. It can be a sobering time for all the old sailors among us...to know that we shall soon leave this ocean. What will that final port be like? Personally I like to think that I shall be greeted by all those mariners who went before me. I will dock my old, rusty, tub and step lightly onto the dock where they will surround me and I will say: "Damn, what a voyage. Where do we go now?" Now a couple of days ago a young man by the name of Arik James Swiger began his voyage upon Life's Ocean. Like most of us, Arik will be guided along the beginning of his great adventure by his two very able and honorable parents, Richard and Lindsey Swiger. But, after he sets off on his own course, I kind of like to think that maybe, when times get tough for him and he is sailing into troubled waters, he might have occasion to pull out an old chart left over from my own long finished voyage. It is my dearest hope that when the boy needs to find a course through treacherous waters, he can look to my chart and gain the knowledge that will help him along his voyage. I think then that I could finally view my own voyage as being a successful one. After all, I will have made it from start to finish and pulled into safe harbor, then when needed , my chart would serve my grandchild...what more could an old sailor hope for. |
| I don't want to hear anyone else whining about what a terrible night they had because I hold the record for interrupted evenings after last night. To begin with, there is nothing worse for a guy of my age, as bad timing. Last night it was bad timing at its worse....not mine, but that damn Booker. There I was, in the throes of romance, having reached that penultimate moment...you guys know what I mean. I was so focused on the job at hand, I did not feel the solid little thump of something jumping onto the bed. I was blissfully unaware of a pending intrusion until I looked down at my dear wife...she was equally focused on the job at hand....and the first thing I saw was this small, white, body wrapped around the top of her head. It was Booker....he wanted to play too! So there he was, curled around the top of Mel's head, on his back, with his little belly pointed up in the air, and this big, goofy grin on his little doggy face. Yes the idiot "smiles". Mel loves it, to me it just looks weird. Anyway, we lay in this frozen pose for a few seconds, then Mel starts laughing, then I start laughing....Booker is still grinning, he thinks maybe this is part of whatever game mommy and daddy are playing. Talk about a mood killer! That pretty much ended any thoughts I had of further hanky-panky, so I did what all guys do...I rolled over and went to sleep! Then about Midnight my damn phone rings. Now all my children know that the only excuse that will save them if THEY call me that late at night is that if something terrible has happened. Mel answered the phone and I lay there in the bed imagining all kinds of horrible things that must have happened to warrant a call at this hour. It was Mel's son Richard. He wanted to let us know that he had just taken his wife Lindsey to the hospital....THE BABY WAS COMING! I started growling again...the baby was coming? Well hell we knew nine months ago that a baby was coming, for god's sake, why call me to say it has ALMOST arrived. I told Mel to tell him to wait until the little fellow had popped out, then wipe its little butt, give him to his mom for a meal and...CALL US IN THE MORNING!!! Mel was not amused and did not forward my suggestion. She did, however hit me with a pillow. Needless to say, she was wired after that phone call and NOBODY got much sleep the rest of the night. So in a nutshell, here is how my night played out...not only did I get my romantic urges interrupted by a dog curled up on my wife's head.....I became a grandfather! Talk about the ultimate mood killer! Welcome to my world. |
| What? Two entries in one day? Well why the hell not! Besides, Mel always growls at me when I do "political" blog entries, so I figured I would do another one showing the softer, kinder side of me....my humor. Do I have to be the first to say it out loud? Okay, since the rest of you are just sheep who refuse to see the truth, I will say it here: Shakespeare SUCKS! There, it's out in the open now...I have admitted a great truth the rest of you are too frightened to say out loud. I mean, come on folks....he really does suck bog water. How many of you have ever actually read one of big Bill's plays from beginning to end without falling into a deep slumber somewhere in the middle? Okay, Mavis, you don't count. After all you find nothing wrong with "thees" and "thous". But the rest of you.....you know I'm right. Take for instance, the great balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet. Juliet is standing on her balcony yelling: "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?" Then Bill has old Romeo standing right there in plain sight, under the balcony and replies: "She speaks: O, speak again, bright angel! for thou art As glorious to this night, being o'er my head As is a winged messenger of heaven Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds And sails upon the bosom of the air." Now doesn't that just make you want to slap the hell out of both of them? How much better would it have been had Bill done a slight re-write here. Juliet: "YO, ROMEO, GET YORE SKINNY BUTT OUT HERE SO I CAN SEE YOU!" Romeo: "Hey you good looking thing you, I'm right here and I gotta tell you..You are so damned beautiful that just one look at you makes my tights really uncomfortable...if ya get my drift." Now isn't that better? Another thing about Shakespeare...his grasp of the obvious is awe inspiring. Take his line: "A rose, by any other name, would smell as sweet." WELL NO DUH! That's like saying: "The rain is wet". Yet when he writes it we all wet ourselves over his brilliance. Over the centuries Shakespeare's plays have become the sacred cow of literature. Nobody really likes them, few even understand them, but everyone is scared to admit it for fear of being seen as ignorant. Seeming ignorant never bothered me...hell it would be a step up for me. I would love to see a contest on WDC where people tried to re-write Shakespeare into something a bit more....readable. What do you say? |
| Have you ever wanted something so badly that you scrimped and saved to attain whatever it is that you desired? Have you ever done without in order to achieve your goals? Have you ever lived with less in the short term in order to make your life, and the lives of your family better down the road? What if we, as a nation, did the same things. I can not help but wonder what we could achieve if we sacrificed mobility, comfort, and instant gratification for a few years. Do you think we might be able to effect the out of control price of crude oil and gas if we chose NOT to travel unless it was an emergency? Can you imagine what the impact would be if we all stayed at home for the summer, if we only used our cars to go back and forth to work and once a week to the store to shop. Yes, I know there are many of you who do this already....but what if the whole country did it? Oh yes, we could make a difference, we could make things better...but we won't. This nation no longer has the ability to sacrifice. We do not have the moral fiber needed to do without. This is why I ascribe to the "Rubber Ball" theory. The Rubber Ball theory is simple really: If a person takes a small, rubber ball and tosses it into the air the same thing happens every time; the ball will fly upward to a certain point, then it will always fall back to earth. No matter how strong the person is who tosses the ball, no matter how high the ball flies, it will finally reach that magic point where its upward progress is halted. For a micro-second the ball will hang suspended in the air, then it will succumb to gravity and fall back to Earth. I believe we are at that point in our history where we have halted our upward progress and we are now beginning the fall back to Earth. All because we lack the strength of character as a nation to sacrifice and do the unpleasant things needed to save ourselves. Our Rubber Ball is about to crash to the ground. I can only hope, if the ball is ever thrown upward again, whoever does it discovers a way to toss it higher and make it stay longer at its heights than it did this time. |
| A week away from WDC and Blogville can do wonders sometimes. As you can see, this blog's vacation is over now and it is back to business....but not as usual. The reason for the break was simple, I had to make some decisions concerning the blog and I could not do that unless I stepped away for awhile. So now this blog is back and this is number 461 with thirty-nine more to go after this before the blog reaches the finish line. During my "vacation" I managed to begin the edit of my novel and this is an ongoing project which will take up the lion's share of my computer time....only 18 more chapters to go! But, unfortunately, this will mean that I will not have anywhere near the time I need to read all my favorites and comment. So, until the edit is done, I won't be around much in others blogs and for that I am really sorry. I will understand completely if those of you who I am unable to visit, decide not to read this blog or comment. I really do wish there were more hours in the day so that I could spend longer periods of time here in Blogville, but right now....there just isn't. Okay, this has gone longer than I had planned. Bottom line is: I am back, the blog is back, and will be finished at 500 entries. I will then start a new blog that will be very different from this one. Those are the decisions I made this past week. So.....onward to #462, for those still hanging around. |
| Good morning boys and girls, bloggers and blogetters, and all the ships at sea! This is the inaugural broadcast of your brand new favorite radio station, KBLOG. Yup, that's right, you heard it first here....K-BLOG, 99.9 on your Blogville dial is now on the air and coming to you live from somewhere in the wilds of Missouri! I am your disjointed Disc Jockey, Tor and I am spinning the platters, plugging in the tapes, and operating the whatsumacallit....putting out the tunes for your listening enjoyment. We are all requests, all the time and I want to start things off with a few dedications to a few special bloggers out there who may or may not be tuned in.... This first song goes out for my buddy Nada , the Queen of California, and dedicated to her love...Lance.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d80PEfyVGx0 Next, I would like to send a song out there across the big pond to The First Lady on England, Scarlett , I think of you every time I hear it girl! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9M0nePM6eP0 Now this next song goes out to an old friend who is still dear to my heart. She may live in Turkey, but her heart will forever be in her homeland...Africa. zwisis, this song is for you...a little reminder of home. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXgQtL3aEmQ&feature=related And finally, rounding out the morning's entertainment, I want to send out a special song to two more good friends, PlannerDan and Voxxylady ...and this one is for me too....hope you guys enjoy it.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_82SPkrB-SE So there you have it...the first broadcast of Tor's Tunes on K-BLOG radio. Should it become a regular feature...you tell me. Oh and if any of you have any other dedications, just hunt them up and put the link in the comment section...kinda keep the show going, so to speak. . |
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