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 |  My second blog. What you get are pieces of me; my humor, my memories: be welcome. |
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MY BOOK! http://www.lulu.com/davidmac73 This picture was in the header of my first blog and I wanted to bring it back. Me and my sweetie on our wedding day....it is my favorite picture. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This is my second Blog on WDC. The first Blog, Random Thoughts, is finished and done and I loved almost every minute I spent doing it. This blog will be somewhat different than the first because I want to use this space for my humor and my memories. The humor may sometimes fall flat and the memories may, at times be boring, but isn't that the way it is with life. Please join me here and partake in these pieces of me and if sometimes you find the jokes unfunny or the memories dull, then please come back another day and maybe you will find something to your liking. After all, like my daddy always said: "Some days you get the bear, some days the bear gets you." Thank you, vivacious   for this neat new logo for my blog! Yup, this about says it all, I think!** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I thought that Independence Day was the appropriate day to put this great new siggy in my blog....Thank you sultry ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Please check out Scarlett's Newsletter for Bloggers: The Blogville News
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Thank you, Startiara  for this lovely Siggy!! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| I have reached an uneasy peace, a shaky armistice one might say, with winter. Make no mistake about it; there was no great victory on the battlefield for me which forced Winter to the Peace Talks. No, rather it was my own small capitulation that forced ME to the talks...to seek a cease-fire, so to speak. I think I can actually pin-point the exact time in which I finally came to the decision that it was I and not the season that must bend to the inevitable. Surprisingly, it was not when my car broke down and I had to walk almost four miles in twenty-degree weather. No, even then I was unrepentant and defiant in the face of overwhelmingly superior force which nature can bring to bear. Indeed, the turning point came just two nights ago....quietly and in the comfort of my own warm home, or at least on the front porch. I was sitting in much the same position I am now; at my computer and reading on WDC. It was dark, almost nine in the evening, and all day the weatherman had been talking about the pending snow that was headed our way. As I sat in my chair, reading and trying to conjure up images of my dear East Texas in the Summertime with its all pervasive heat and humidity, my dear wife, Mel tapped me lightly on the shoulder and said: "Come with me a minute, I want to show you something". With some misgivings, I rose from my chair and followed her to the front door, grabbing my heavy coat on the way. She opened the door and motioned me to follow her onto the front porch. Let me just interject here that the fact that I did follow her is a testament to the depth to which I love this woman. Anyone else would have been shot on the spot for suggesting such a thing. We stepped out onto the darkened porch that runs the length of the front of the house and, at first, I noticed nothing except the bitter cold that covered me the instant I appeared outside. Then I looked over to the end of the porch, next to where we park the car when its not in the hospital, and I saw what she wanted to show me. There, illuminated by the night light mounted on the utility pole on the side of the property, was a sight that took my breath away. Snow was falling. Wet and heavy, the snow was falling straight down and not swirling with the wind. It fell silently and as I watched I was amazed at the power and beauty of it. Millions and millions of heavy flakes diving onto the earth in absolute silence. Bent on covering all the earth, they plummeted downward to blanket all they came into contact with. As I watched in silent awe, I could well understand what moved such a poet as Robert Frost to set many of his poems in snow-covered woods. There is something about the single-minded journey of each snowflake that speaks to a man's soul. They whispered to me of loneliness, of yearning, of quiet solitude and they took my breath away. I said absolutely none of this to Mel...I hate it when she knows she has made her point...I would rather keep her guessing. It's a Man thing. Instead I merely grunted something about.."Yeah, so..." and walked back into the house. But I can not deny it...I was moved by that sight more than I have been moved in years. So you see, Winter and I have reached this uneasy peace. I have decided to roll with the flow a little more and try and find whatever good there is in this strange season that is so new to me. Oh I am sure the war is not over, there will be some violations of the cease-fire over the course of the next couple of months, but I will make the effort. For you see, there is nothing I admire more than the beauty of the natural world and when I find it, I always yearn to see more. So I guess now I will actually give old man Winter a chance to inspire the weak, small, writer in me with its scenes of glacial beauty. Hell, it's worth a try, anyway. |
| Instead of a joke, I thought I would leave you with a bit of good news this morning. It's about time I got some. Well, the mechinic shop called me yesterday and it seems that the Grey Ghost has not yet died!!! The man I talked to said that a hose had burst and all the transmission fluid had dumped, but the good news was that I had managed to shut the motor off in time and the transmission was not ruined. So today Mel will head out to bring our Car/baby back home. Yeah, one bear down and only a couple to go....I'm all good! |
| If life is a bowl of cherries, why am I always in the pits? That, my friends, is a famous line from one of my favorite writers, Erma Bombeck and also the title of one of her books. It is also a line that pretty much describes my condition at the moment. So what. Big deal. we all have bad days, or weeks, or even years so why should I be any different. Sometimes life is like a good, old fashioned, fist fight and it's not how many times you get knocked down that counts, but how many times you get up. On a lighter note....yesterday, just when I thought nothing else could happen...IT DID! Murphy had one more swing at my glass jaw. Just before I went to work I was sitting here reading blogs and I happened to reach for something on my desk. I don't even remember what I was reaching for, but what I did was KNOCK A FULL MUG OF COFFEE ONTO MY KEYBOARD!!!! The keyboard ceased functioning and I trudged off to work. In the meantime, while I was gone, Mel moved heaven and earth, trying to find a replacement keyboard because, as she told me later, she was not sure she would survive the atomic blast that would have occurred when I got home and had no computer. Well, as you can see, she managed to find a replacement keyboard that works....another good reason not to get rid of old computers or components. So here I am, treading water and keeping my head above the waves...so what do I want to blog about today? Hell, I'm too busy trying to stay afloat to write anything worth reading, but being one who never knows when he should quit, I will try a few subjects anyway. The Writer's Strike Well it's still going on, as you all know. The thing is I have noticed something passingly strange and something the writers might want to look at. I have noticed that Jay Leno's monologue on the Tonight Show has been a lot funnier since the writers went on strike. That can't be a good sign for the writers, can it. Of course Leno started out his career as a joke writer and he is no slouch at it. Maybe he should look into doing more of the writing himself and let some of those writers work for someone else. On a sad note, it was stated on some news show the other day that the big winners in this writer's strike is...of all things....Reality Shows. Yes, these unscripted pieces of "real" life are getting a shot in the arm with more new ones making it to the networks and old reliable ones starting earlier than normal. Now if that fact doesn't make you rise up and demand a settlement, nothing will. Politics Who needs comedy writers when we have an election year? In Nevada, where they are having their primary today, something really funny is taking place. You see the state moved up their primary date and as a result, the Democratic national organization has striped them of most of their reps to the national convention. As a result, Obama and Edwards have both removed their names from the ballot in support of the National party, but Hillary left her's on the ballot. The pundits say that, of course Hilliary should win the primary, but since the other two aren't on the ballot, if she doesn't get over 60% of the vote, then it would be a real slap in the face for her. Well guess what....I just heard that it looks close as to whether or not she will get that sixty percent...AND SHE IS THE ONLY ONE ON THE BALLOT!!! Now that's funny. Oh and as a tie-in to the other topic I discussed.....have any of you heard of the new reality show that takes couples and hooks them up to a Lie Detector machine then asks them questions like: "If there was no way for you to be caught, would you ever cheat on your spouse"? I know, I know...sick isn't it. But on the other hand....wouldn't you love it if, instead of another debate between the candidates, they would just set them on a stage, hooked to one of those machines and ask them really hard questions? NOW THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT!  |
| The last couple of days have been...how can I say this...."Interesting", yeah, that's it, they have been interesting. So, if I gotta suffer, you gotta suffer and get two blogs in one day from yours truly. Let me lay it out for you...... Yesterday I went to work and had a meeting with this snot nosed young asst. manager in charge of the front end. He tells me that Wal-Mart has a point system in place for absences and if you have seven you get written up. Now I have never, in nine years, ever gotten any kind of write up or disciplinary action whatsoever. But now I have three points and have been warned...he says. To which I had a few questions of him, like: 1. If I have done everything asked of me when I call in sick such as notify the home office, get an authorization number, and then call my store and let them know...If I do all of this, you mean being sick is not an excuse for staying home? Nope. 2. You mean if I even go to a doctor and get an excuse from HIM, it is still not excused to be sick? Nope. And, he adds, Wal-Mart does not take the word of a doctor because they know you can get a doctor to write any excuse you want them too. At this point my jaw drops. So yesterday I learned that being sick was never excused for any reason. I am still floored by this even as I write it. Come to find out this rule has been in effect for quite awhile, but under my old manager, at my old store, I was never aware of it. You see, my old manager had a bad habit...If a rule hurt people or was just silly, he ignored it. No one at my old store ever got a "point" if they called in and did what they were supposed to do. What a difference a manager makes. So I come home, after a hard day at work and get a call from my son, Ricky. He tells me that he was denied when he applied for some damn alphabet laden state program for medical assistance. What this means is he has to wait until he gets the official denial letter in the mail before his caseworker can try to get him into some different program. In the meantime he has already had another seizure. He is forced to walk around with a ticking time bomb in his head and wait for government red tape before he can get any medical help at all. And you want to know the kicker? He was told, on the phone, by some faceless bureaucrat that he just wasted his time applying to them for help because he HAS A JOB! If you are working and poor, you don't get shit in this country when you need help. Of course if he didn't speak the language and had just waded the river into the country, he would have all the medical help he could ever need. You know, I have known this truth most of my life and I accepted it for myself. I have always told Mel that if I ever get really bad sick that I would either get well by myself or die...those are the options and I accept it for me....but not for my child. He deserves better than his father. Are you still with me? Okay that brings us to today...I posted my little "joke" as a blog entry and at the allotted time, I headed out to work. Half way to work my car let out a belch of smoke like a gut shot fighter plane. I quickly made a U turn and tried to make it back home. I didn't make it. The Gray Ghost died a horrible death on the side of the road, it's transmission going out and throwing fluid all over the motor. I then walked about three and half miles in freezing weather, to my sister-in-law's home where I called Mel. So I had to get the Gray Ghost towed...ever tried to call one of those guys on a Sunday? Then I had to call the job and tell them I wouldn't be in today as I had to get my car taken care of and to a shop. Yup, there goes another "Point" on my record. You know, I may have to stop blogging for the next week because I am afraid that anything I write in that time will end up being a world class rant and I am just spoiling for a fight...verbally or physically. Things just have to get better....don't they? |
| Work beckons me once more so I decided to offer you one more joke. I hope this little slice of human nature gives you a much needed smile this morning. A husband wrote the following letter to his wife and left it on the dining room table: 'TO MY DEAR WIFE, YOU WILL SURELY UNDERSTAND THAT I HAVE CERTAIN NEEDS THAT YOU, BEING 54 YEARS OLD, CAN NO LONGER SATISFY. I AM VERY HAPPY WITH YOU AND I VALUE YOU AS A GOOD WIFE. THEREFORE AFTER READING THIS LETTER, I HOPE YOU WILL NOT WRONGLY INTERPRET THE FACT THAT I WILL BE SPENDING THE EVENING WITH MY 18 YEAR OLD SECRETARY AT THE COMFORT INN HOTEL. PLEASE DON'T BE UPSET - I SHALL BE BACK HOME BEFORE MIDNIGHT.' When the man returned home late that night he found the following letter on the dining room table in place of his own: 'MY DEAR HUSBAND, I RECEIVED YOUR LETTER AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR HONESTY ABOUT MY BEING 54 YEARS OLD. I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY TO REMIND YOU THAT YOU ARE ALSO 54 YEARS OLD. AS YOU KNOW, I AM A MATH TEACHER AT OUR LOCAL COLLEGE. I WOULD LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT WHILE YOU READ THIS, I WILL BE AT THE HOTEL FIESTA WITH MICHAEL, ONE OF MY STUDENTS, WHO IS ALSO THE ASSISTANT TENNIS COACH. HE IS YOUNG, VIRILE, AND LIKE YOUR SECRETARY, HE IS 18 YEARS OLD. AS A SUCCESSFUL BUSINESSMAN WHO HAS AN EXCELLENT KNOWLEDGE OF MATH, YOU WILL UNDERSTAND THAT WE ARE IN THE SAME SITUATION, ALTHOUGH WITH ONE SMALL DIFFERENCE. 18 GOES INTO 54 A LOT MORE TIMES THAN 54 GOES INTO 18. THEREFORE, I WILL NOT BE BACK HOME UNTIL SOMETIME TOMORROW. |
| Though I must go to work now, I would like to leave you with a roundtable discussion by some notable Americans....and one Greek dude, the subject: Why did the Chicken Cross the Road? DR. PHIL : The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems. OPRAH : Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens. GEORGE W. BUSH : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here. COLIN POWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road... ANDERSON COOPER - CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road. JOHN KERRY : Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it. NANCY GRACE : That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks. PAT BUCHANAN : To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American. MARTHA STEWART : No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information. DR SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told. ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the rain. Alone. GRANDPA : In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough. BARBARA WALTERS : Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road. JOHN LENNON : Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace. ARISTOTLE : It is the nature of chickens to cross the road. BILL GATES : I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ....... reboot. ALBERT EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken? BILL CLINTON : I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken? AL GORE : I invented the chicken! COLONEL SANDERS : Did I miss one? DICK CHENEY : Where's my gun? AL SHARPTON : Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens. |
| So, the writers in Hollywood are on strike, they want a bigger piece of the profits gleaned from their labors. Okay, why should they be any different from the Plumber's local 409? Like all unions, they feel that they too should be overpaid for mediocre work. Yeah, that's what I said; Mediocre. When was the last time you watched something on TV or in the movies where the story made you gasp in admiration at the skills of the story teller? When was the last time that a story written by these hacks actually surprised you while entertaining you? Well speaking for myself....It's been a long damn time, bucko! At least for the last ten years (thanks to Law and Order) stories portrayed on television have all been "Ripped From the Headlines" sort of stories. Writers take a story from the newspaper, change the names, move the circumstances about a bit, and slap it in the form of a script, on the desk of a producer. That's it! Where is the originality in that, where is the imagination most writers rely upon in the practice of their craft? Movies are just as bad. Not only do screenwriters use the "headlines" thing, but they also fall back upon the dreaded "Remake". The movie I am Legend jumps readily to mind here. Hell, this was the third time this movie was made and the only difference between this version and the other two was the special effects. These writers will argue that they are striving for more relavence in their stories. Well when did relavence come to mean Copying a real event? Lazy writing....that's what it boils down to. They are basically lazy and they want to be paid more for their laziness. Well hell, ain't that the American way...let me work less and pay me more. A message to Hollywood Producers: "Bring in the Scabs! Get your asses over here to WDC and hire some of the most talented, imaginative writers to be found." I bet the damn strike would be over pretty dang quick when these guys see what kind of quality work can be done by writers who are NOT lazy or just in search of the almighty dollar. |
| Well as a few of you may know, I did an entry this morning but I have decided to mark it "private". I swear, sometimes I can be just so full of myself, it is pitiful. I would like to thank the two brave souls who attempted to comment on the thing, your kindness is muchly appricated. So what do I do this second entry about? Aw, hell, why not just beat a dead horse to death and talk a little more about politics. Here's the deal...As much as I kid about politics and politicians, I do maintain a keen interest in the system and I am a staunch advocate of the Democratic form of government. The thing is that this election year has brought together a bumper crop of mediocrity. Now my good buddy Carolina Blue admonished us, in a comment to my blog yesterday, that we should strive to learn all we can about the candidates and the process. Well I happen to agree wholeheartedly with Ken. The bottom line we are faced with though is that all the candidates, in both parties, share one very important thing in common....When push comes to shove, every dang one of them will do one thing above all else, they will follow their party beliefs. Democrats and Republicans...THAT is what you get when you elect one of the candidates. Oh they will promise you the world, but they will give only what their party WANTS them to give...never forget that. So then maybe we should learn all we can about the two parties...the Dems and the Republicans. The Republicans believe in small government and BIG business while the Democrats believe in BIG government and cradle-to-the-grave involvement in our lives. Now of course this is a gross oversimplification so do your homework then decide which party you like best. Personally I think there should be a third party. I have been an Independent all my life and I really believe there is room enough for the Independent in the election process. See, that wasn't difficult was it. Now I would like to touch upon a little Geopolitics, so to speak. I happened to catch Maddy Albright on the Today show this morning. She was hawking her latest book "What you should know before you vote" or some such garbage. Her big deal was telling us we needed to be aware of how hated Americans are by the rest of the world and how we needed Ms. Clinton in the White House so everyone would love us. The thought I had as I listened to her blather on and on was: "Who gives a flying F**k what they think of us?" I am tired of being told I need to apologize for being an American. Folks, look...no matter if you are talking about a game of marbles on the school yard, or World politics, there has to be someone in first place and someone in last place. If you are on top of the food chain, then those who are not on top are gonna hate you...a fact of life. If you are on bottom, then others will pity you. Now given the choice between being hated or being pitied...I will chose your hate any day over your pity. Someone, some day, will come along and knock us on our ass and then take over the #1 spot. Then you can hate them. Don't worry, it will happen, maybe sooner than you think. Until then, don't look for me to apologize for being an American. I am what I am, so like it or move on....this is the message I would love for our government to give the rest of the world too. LOL...now that I have pissed off almost everyone, my work here is done! |
| Wow, now where did I put those two days? It really is strange how easy it has become to misplace days in Blogville. There was a time, back in the dim history of my first blog, that I had to really hold back to keep from making two or three entries a day, but not now...now time just seems to slip away from me. Maybe it is because I have followed the lamentable path taken by my friend, Carolina Blue and have started watching all the presidential crap on television. By the time I watch one of those debates my brain is just mush, and nothing I may have wanted to write about seems all that important.Speaking of the Presidential Follies...have any of you out there picked up on Hillary's latest battle-cry: "I have thirty-six years of experience in Government!" Now I'm just a country boy, and math was never my strongest subject, but I tried to compute what Ms. Clinton is telling all of us. If she has thirty six years of experience in government, that means she must have started back when she was about 24! Well I did some checking and her chief claim to fame in college was giving a controversial address as the first student to speak at commencement exercises for Wellesley College. After she graduated, she became a lawyer. Was that when she started getting all that experience that she said is needed to be president? Anyway, Hillary is quick to point out that she is also the best choice because she has already spent eight years in the White House and can hit the ground running. Uh? Hell the Pastry Chief also spent at least that long in the White House....should we elect him? All the Democrats are yelling about how we need "CHANGE". the thing is, so far I have yet to hear one solid idea for that "change" coming from any of them. I got this sinking feeling that the change they are talking about is merely getting a democrat in the White House, after that it will be business as usual. Just so you all will know that I am not just picking on poor Hillary....though, God knows it is easy to do....None of the candidates from either party are much better. This has got to be the worse field of candidates ever to run of the office. You have to ask yourself...why would a person spend ten or twenty million dollars to get a job that paid a couple of hundred thousand anyway? I have always held that Americans usually get the kind of President they deserve and it looks like this year we are really gonna get our just desserts....Lord help us! On a personal note: No more watching political functions for this ole boy. I don't want to damage any more of the three brain cells I have left. |
| Caucus....Okay what I want to know is what bright bulb came up with the idea of a Caucus anyway? It isn't a primary, where each party VOTES for their choice to run for president, so what is it and even more to the point...Why do we have them? I can just imagine, at some time in the distant past, the movers and shakers in Iowa getting together in some heated hog barn in the center of the state and having a meeting. At this meeting they decided that they should gather together all the citizens of the state in different meetings places, on a specific night, and have them align themselves into groups, each for their favorite candidate...the one with the most in their group WINS! Okay, is it just me, or does anyone else miss the logic in this idea? I mean if you listen to one of the "experts" explain what goes on in the Democratic Caucus, you are reminded of nothing more than a large group of kindergarten kids having an Activities time in the school gym. The Republican version of this silliness is only marginally saner. Rather than vocally proclaiming their choice, they gather together and write the name of their choice on a piece of paper. The papers are then counted and a winner is declared. Now don't get me wrong, I think this was a stroke of genius on the part of the Iowa leadership. This way, once every four years those bubbas are thrust into the national limelight, but what does it do for the rest of us. I'll tell you what it does for me...IT GIVES ME A DAMN HEADACHE! The cranial pain results from my dear wife, who has a mind like a steel trap, insists I explain the whole Caucus procedure to her. After listening to my halting, rather scattered explanation of a Caucus, she then proceeds to ask the same dreaded question...over and over: "Why?" I am finally reduced to "Hell honey, I DON'T KNOW. Maybe it just makes the pig farmers happy that every four years, very rich people travel to their state and say nice things to them." To which she sniffs and retorts, "Well that's not a very good reason, now is it." Someone pass the Advil. As often as not the person who comes in second or third in that Caucus goes on to win the primary then the general election and become president of the United States. So what does it matter. Well it matters to the people of Iowa now doesn't it. They got to throw a nice state-wide party complete with all the major politicians and news people. Kinda like a presidential Tupperware party with national coverage. The real plus for these folks is that if their choice goes on to win the office they can all stand up and say... "SEE, WE TOLD YOU SO!" What could be better for a pig farmer in Iowa than to be able to thumb his nose at the rest of the country? Next I want Carolina Blue to explain the whole Electoral College thing to the rest of us. No sense in ME being the only one around here with a headache! |
| The other day I watched my old dog, Sherman, shake himself vigorously then sit down and start to scratch at his ear. He was ridding himself of a couple of pesky fleas. It struck me then, that his action was just what the Earth needed. Yup, just like Sherman booting out those fleas, the Earth needed to give itself a good shake and rid itself of a large portion of its own parasite...humans. Yes Sir, here we sit, all going green and saving this and saving that, and conserving everything.....have anyone else noticed that "Going Green" has become a big business? The Corporate world really jumped on the bandwagon as soon as they figured out that they could charge more money for things that would enable us to "save the planet". No matter what happens....the suits are gonna make money. The thing is, if the Earth was to hiccup real hard and in the insuing Mega Earthquake, Mega Tsunami, Mega Volcano Eruption, if the HUMAN population was cut in half, then all the wishes of those wanting us to "Go Green" would be answered. The Earth would right itself fairly quickly. No more pollution from cars, no more ozone eating florocarbons from hairspray cans, no more pesky plastic in the landfills....in fact....no more landfills. See how simple it is to solve that problem....nothing wrong with the Earth that won't be solved by getting rid of a bunch of US! Now before some you more vocal liberal, tree-huggers get all bent out of shape, look close...you can see my tongue firmly implanted in my cheek here. Speaking of "Going Green"....how many of you heard about the good folks in Indonesia? Seems that Palm oil was found to be a good alternative fuel, or used in making an alternative fuel, I forget which. Anyway, what do those folks do? Well they march right out and burn off a large portion of their RAIN FOREST to clear the land and plant Palm Trees from which to make the palm oil from.....THEY WERE GOING GREEN!  Oh never mind the fact that by burning large tracts of rain forest they added even more pollution to the atmosphere and further endangered a number of species who lived in the forests....nope, they were on the bandwagon and making MONEY!! I tell ya it just warms the cockles of this old heart to see how Capitalism and Conservationist have joined forces to give birth to this kind of effort at the grass roots level.  And finally, I heard the other day that folks are now worried about all the Methane emissions given off by waste material from cows. Does this mean we are going to have to kill off all the cows? Hell if they are worried about THAT kind of emissions they would be better served to level Washington! |
| I have always said that is good to have a dream. Well now I too have a dream and in just a few short years I shall embark upon this dream....I can't wait. What is this dream, you ask (I heard you, you asked). Well here it is.... I am going to become the Donald Trump of Worm Farmers!! Yup, that's right...I am going to build an empire based on compost and brainless invertebrates. I know, it sounds more like I am going into politics don't it. Well laugh while you can, but soon enough you will be telling everyone that you knew the man who had become the Worm King of Missouri! Speaking of compost and brainless invertebrates...this was a major selling point for me. I ask you, who better than someone with nine years of experience working at Wal-Mart, has a better background to work with these two mediums? As with most good things in my life, Mel was the reason I now have this dream. She found some info on the Internet about worm farming (I know, amazing what you can find isn't it) and she shared it with me. POW! The light bulb in my head went on and I could just see all fold out in my future....THIS WAS IT! Yes sir, three more years and I shall take the pittance offered to me by Social Security and I will retire from the retail wars, then forge ahead with my plans of world dominance through worm rearing! Think about it for a minute...I mean what could be more natural? I have been a cowboy, I have raised cows and horses, how different could herding worms be? Well I will have to figure out how big a herd I can keep in one vat. Then there is the whole Branding the herd thing...I haven't quite figured out that part yet. Oh and I have read and read on the subject but no one seems to be able to tell me how to stop a worm stampede if it happens. But I will work out these kinks, I'm sure...given time. So there you have it....My new direction in life. Just think of the book I can write about it...How a Texas Cowboy Became a Missouri Worm Farmer! Let me leave you now with one final question. Am I the only one who, whenever the presidential hopeful, Mike Huckabee opens his mouth, am reminded more of the name: Huckster rather than Huckabee? The man is a joke of major proportions. HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE! |
| New Year's Eve....the last day of 07. Well this year has certainly been...uh...interesting, to say the least. I just want to say "Thank You" from the bottom of my heart to all of you who left such wonderful, uplifting, comments to my last blog and to Anyea's bridge building efforts. Anyea, both me and Mel went there last night and again today and read and reread all the wonderful comments and you have no idea how our spirits were lifted and our hearts made glad by the support of all of those who took the time to leave a comment. You are a wonderful friend Anyea and Mel and I are thankful you found us. Which begs me to ask: Why is this girl not a Yellow yet? She does so much for everyone here, her case should be yellow...at least. Now, I have made the decision not to mention my son's illness again until there is something concrete to tell you. I spoke to him tonight and he is in good spirits and is looking forward to the next round of tests and finding out what he has to do to get this thing behind him. I told him that if there were any more bumps in the road, I would be traveling to Washington to be with him. That helped his feelings a lot. So, nothing else about that until I have something to tell you all. Tonight, on the last night of the year, I would like to take a moment to pay tribute to my most steadfast of companions, the one responsible for getting me to work each day and home again safe and sound. Yes, my friends, I am speaking of my loyal, always dependable car, aka: The Grey Ghost! For five years now she has been always ready, willing and able to take me where I needed to go. Oh she isn't as sleek and beautiful as she was in her youth, but that don't bother me. No sir, she may be getting a little long in the tooth, but the old girl still has plenty of gettie-up in her gait. I got this rebel, Texas gal long after her prime...she had almost sixty thousand miles on her when I bought her...but she still looked good for a '93 model. It was love at first sight when I spotted her sitting on a used car lot and when I climbed aboard and started her up, her motor purred like a kitten...SHE WAS READY TO GO! And go we did. Me and Mel took a couple of trips to Florida, not to mention trips up to Big D to visit with PlannerDan and out to San Antone to pay homage at the Alamo and many, many trips to Houston. She always took me where I wanted to go and never once gave me a moment's trouble.And how did I pay this little lady back for all the good times? Hell, I had to drag her butt up here to this frozen tundra. Now it almost breaks my heart when I walk out the door every morning and see her sitting there all covered in ice and snow. I try to ignore the looks of accusation I see in those big, pretty ole headlights. I scrape her off and get in and turn the key and she still fires up like always. Lately though I can tell these dang hills and all this snow and ice are taking a toll on the old girl. She developed a bit of internal hemorrhaging a few days ago and we had to do some emergency first aid. She seems to be better now, but I know she is like me...she is a hot blooded, Texan and this weather is giving her a beating. But the Grey Ghost is like me...she's tough, and she is gonna whup this dang weather. She may have a hundred and sixty thousand miles on her, but she is still ready to pass on of these dang Yankee cars and leave them in her wake. The old girl still has fire. You know...now that I think on it....not every man is lucky enough to have a good dependable car, and a good dependable woman...I am truly blessed! And now I would like to leave you with a little joke Mel sent me in an email the other day. Yes, I know, it's weird, but we do email each other jokes..go figure. *********************************** Dear Abby, My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning, and, when I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse, everyone knows that he cheats on me. It is so humiliating. Also, since he lost his job six years ago, he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does all day is smoke cigars, cruise around and shoot the breeze with his buddies while I have to work to pay the bills. Since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me and hints that I may be a lesbian. What should I do???? Signed: Clueless Dear Clueless: Grow up and dump him. Good grief, woman. You don't need him anymore! You're a United States Senator from New York running for President of the United States . Act like one! |
| Two more days and it's done. Christmas will be in the books for another year and I will have survived yet another Merry, yuletide, gluttony of wanton spending and fake cheer. Let me just say right up front....I am a Christian. This is what I believe in but I have enough brain cells left in my head that work sporaticaly to know that there are many, many forms of belief out there, or lack of beliefs. So who the hell am I to tell someone else they are wrong? To be honest, I don't care if you worship God or Allah, or Budda, or a freaking Toadstool. I don't care if you worship nothing at all; that is your right....just don't beat me over the head and try to convince me that I should believe the same way you do. I know that there are many Christians out there who do this; they feel it is their mission in life to convert the entire world to their way of thinking and I have as little patience with them as I do any other fanatic of any different dogma. It's called "Respect" people. I respect each of you enough to let you find your own path in life, to believe or not believe in whatever you wish....just, please, do the same for me. I will not ridicule you or put you down for your beliefs so please, afford me the same consideration. It is especially bad this time of year. Belief systems are polarized during the Christmas season. "YOU ARE EITHER FOR US OR AGAINST US!" Get over it people. If we want to be really honest with ourselves, we would be calling an entirely different greetings to each other this Christmas. Instead of "Merry Christmas" we would be saying, "Happy Credit Card!" For this is what Christmas is for 99% of the population of the world. We worship at the alter of Commercialism. We spend vast amounts, amounts that we can, in most cases, ill afford to spend just to live up to the expectations of what the Corporate world says we should do. So go out and buy little Johnny and little Mary all the latest electronic gizzmos, with all the bells and whistles. Don't worry, in three months they will all be obsolete and you can do it again next year. When all the presents are opened, sit down, eat a turkey and a pie, then collapse in front of the TV and spend the rest of the day thinking of ways to pay for all you have bought. Oh and be sure to make time, somewhere during the day to get into arguments with other family members over some real or imagined slight that may have happened years ago....that always puts a exclamation point next to the holiday. As for me....well I am merely going to relax at home and use that one day off to try and recharge my batteries from dealing with all the crap. No kids, they are scattered across the country, no family....mine are a long way off. Just me and Mel. That will be nice enough. Two more days....Lord, just let me make it two more days. |
| I have nothing against hunters, I really don't. In fact, I was raised in a family of hunters and was included in every hunt from the time I was ten years old. I just lost my taste for the sport, I guess. I come from a state where hunting is a very big deal and I live now in a state that also embraces hunting season. Hell, if camouflage were to be outlawed, half the state of Missouri would have to walk around naked. I just do not have the heart for the hunt any longer. Hunting has always been a part of Man's existenince, from the time of the cave dweller onward it was the main source of food. In modern times though hunting has become less about the necessity of eating, and more about the "sport" of the kill. Even back when I was a kid, the sport thing was beginning to get important in hunting. Of course, for those of us who were dirt poor, there was still the necessity of bringing home the meat from the kill; it was a large portion of our diet back then. More and more, though, it was becoming all about the "kill". Now days the standard "hunt" consists of some guy going out well before the season opens, planting a nice patch of oats or putting up a feeder, then pacing off about seventy-five yards or so and putting up a nice tree stand or blind where they can sit, unseen when the hunting begins. The deer feed at the feeder or on the planted oats unmolested until the opening day of the season, then on that day the man sits on his stand or in his blind and calmly shoots the deer. This is usually done with a high-powered rifle, complete with a scope....How can he miss? Where is the "sport"? Maybe it would be different if the hunter allowed the game to see them. If they looked the animal in the eye before they pulled the trigger and they saw the fear, if they saw the pain caused by their bullet, then maybe they wouldn't make hunting the big Macho thing it has become. Yes, it's all there in the eyes, if one just looks. Fear, hate, pain, suffering...you can see it all in the eyes of both a deer and a man...it makes no difference. I have seen that look in both man and beast and it is the eyes that will haunt you the rest of your life. I have known the pain a bullet causes. How can anyone who has felt that pain inflict it on anything else unless it is to protect themselves or their property? I can't. Now all of this is my opinion. I know better than to try to change the minds of my friends or family who still love to hunt. After all, it is the nature of man so who am I to argue. These are just my impressions, the thoughts of a simple man who lost his taste for hunting forty years ago. If you hunt or your spouse hunts, that's okay. What I would ask you to do just once though is to look deeply into the eyes of your prey before you pull the trigger. Maybe it will mean nothing to you, but maybe, just maybe, you will understand........ The eyes tell the story. |
| Okay, okay, after reading my buddy Ken's very funny imitation of a few of us bloggers I promise not to write anything about cold weather, Missouri, Vietnam, or Wal-Mart for awhile. Now I'm not sure what I can write about....geeeze...wait, I can do this.... This morning, upon signing onto WDC I found a surprise in my mail. I got a note from SM congratulating me upon my third year anniversary here on the site. Now that was nice. Yeah, three years here and two and a half doing a blog, God, what a ride it has been! Thanks to this site I have made great strides in my own writing and this is all because of some very thoughtful folks who believe in giving very honest reviews. Each one of those reviews...even the ones that panned the work....helped me to make my stories better. During my time here I have met some of the best people in the world and I have made some friends who, I hope, will be friends for life. I have also run across some of the worse people I have ever known. Like any other large community in the real world, there are frauds and cheats lurking the alleys of Blogville just as there are in real communities. Thankfully, just like in the real world, the good far outnumber the bad here and we usually are able to survive the bad. As in most good things that have happened to me over the past six years, Mel was responsible for me finally getting a membership here. Thanks to that membership, I know that maybe what I write just might be of interest to someone other than myself. Stranger things have happened. So, anyway, here we are, three years into a journey and I just wanted to say: "Thank You" to all of you folks who have visited here in my blog and my Portfolio. You have no idea how much your reading of my stuff has meant to me. Without all of you who stop by in here, I don't know what I would do....each of you lift me up each day. So there you have it...a blog without all the usual topics in it....See, Ken, this ole boy ain't no "One Trick Pony"! |
| I understand now why the winter season defeated both Napoleon and Hitler in Russia. I also completely understand why people commit more murders, assaults, and generally beat each other to bloody pulps at the drop of a hat. I have come to fully appreciate the genius of Ursus americanus, for in the winter you will find the black bear safely ensconced in a deep hole, sleeping and awaiting the arrival of spring. All of this enlightenment came to me yesterday. You see, that was the day I had been dreading ever since I moved to this God Forsaken tundra....the first winter storm finally reached us. I had been watching the weather channel non-stop for over a week...waiting for it, and yesterday it finally slapped me in the arse. Yesterday morning dawned like the other twenty before it; dark, cloudy, cold, and raining and I drug my sorry butt out of bed and made ready for work. To say I was dreading the drive would be a masterpiece in understatement and it was at this point that my dear, sweet, Michigan-born, snow and ice loving, wife let her .45cal. mouth overload her .22 cal arse. She knew as well as I did that before I got off work, the storm would be upon the land and I was faced with driving home in that crap so of course she was extra cheerful that morning. She regaled me with tales of three foot of snow in Michigan and of digging her car out in order to drive miles to work each day. Finally I could stand it no more: "Well if you are such a @#$ expert at driving in the @#% snow," I retorted, "then you won't mind driving me to work and picking me up tonight will you." Silence. HA! CHECK AND MATE! She had babbled herself into a corner and she knew it. So it was that I enjoyed the trip to work yesterday from the comfort of the passenger seat while Mel dutifully drove me to work. It was nice to arrive at work for once rested and ready for the day. Fast forward now to seven pm in the evening. I was tired and ready to come home. The storm was indeed upon us and that nasty white crap was falling lightly but with a hint of nightmares to come. Mel was there and picked me up and away we drove....slowly. Even in the passenger seat, I was nervous. With every mile we drove, the snow got worse and worse. At one point I told her: "For God's sake, dim your lights so you can see better in all this snow." She just smiled that malignant smile of hers and replied: "The lights are on dim, sweetie. Here, look at what it's like when I put them on 'bright' ". With that she hit the button and the lights flashed to bright. BAM! The entire world turned WHITE! No road, no ditch, no oncoming cars....nothing but a damn WHITE CURTAIN! I admit it...I screamed like a little girl. "MOTHER OF GOD, WHITEOUT!" As I snapped loose the seat belt and dove to the floorboard, I could hear Mel's evil little chuckle. "You want me to pull over and let you drive....HONEY?" "Just get my ass HOME," I mumbled, a beaten man. Well we made it home and looking back upon the experience, I am not sure what was worse; the snow, the ice, or Mel happily singing FREAKING CHRISTMAS CAROLS the entire way. This morning I did what I had threatened to do all week, if the storm hit....I called in. Now I sit here in my island of warmth, surrounded by a sea of evil white crap. I shall venture out only at the point of a gun today...and maybe tomorrow. A final note here, just to show you I am not the only one in this family who feels the way I do about winter and snow. This morning I opened the back door and let the three dogs out to do their business. Sherman and Sassy bounded outside, but Mollie, my Black Lab, and the overweight matriarch of the animal clan in my home, just set on her rather ample bottom and gave me a look that said: "Oh yeah, tough guy? How would YOU like to step outside with me and take a dump?" I had to physically heave her out the door, but as I was doing it I had to admit that it would take more than one person to shove ME out that same door. |
| The house is quiet now, the same quiet that befalls battlefields the world over and down through history. That unearthly silence that descends upon the stage after a titanic struggle where life and death hangs in the balance for so many. It all began, like so many great battles are wont to do, on a silent morning of no great import. As usual it was raining and cold outside. I was sitting at my computer, reading a few blogs before having to head out to work and Mel was puttering about the kitchen. The three dogs were laying about the kitchen keeping her company while the cats were standing around my desk in various degrees of disinterest. Only a few days before this, Mel had put up an electric wire around our back yard and side yard fence to stop Sherman, our 120 pound elephant who masquerades as a dog, from literally climbing the fence and trying to catch unlucky cars that pass his private domain. It was working fine, this little hot-wire. Sherman had been knocked down a couple of times and was now rethinking his whole plan of burying motorist in the back yard. Well on this fateful morning, Mel left the kitchen and walked to the front door and opened it. She wanted to see how many birds and squirrels she had in attendance at her free banquet she put out each morning for the animals. The front yard is usually covered with both squirrels and birds when she holds these free feeds. The next thing I hear, after she opens the door, is this terrible gasp of horror: "OH MY GOD!" Of course I jump out of my chair and run to Mel's side as she stood rooted to the open threshold of our home. "What is it," I yelled to her. "Did a tree fall in the yard, did someone steal the car, DID RUSSIA DECLARE WAR? "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?" As you can see, I tend to overreact at times. "Oh this is terrible." She sobbed. "Look at the fence." I looked over expecting....well I don't know what kind of horrible thing I was expecting...what I saw though was not anywhere close to what I was afraid of. I saw this little furry, gray body laying on its back with all four feet stuck in the air, its white belly shining like a surrender flag. A squirrel had gotten onto the hot-wire. Poor Mel was blubbering like a baby. You would have thought she had just shot her mamma the way she was looking....a tear had already began to trail down one cheek. Of course, me being me I had to have some fun out of it. "OMG" I exclaimed, "You MURDERED that poor, defenceless little animal." She almost broke down with that one. Without another word, she proceeded out the door and walked through the rain to where the squirrel lay. Gently she picked up the body and cradled it in her hands while she walked solemnly back into the house. I tell ya, it was a touching scene....Think Disney when Bambi's mother was killed by the hunter. Which, is what I pointed out to Mel. If looks could kill, I would be dead meat right now. Well she brought the scrawny little fur bag's body into the house and I was just about to ask her if this meant we would be having squirrel for dinner, when something really amazing happened. Suddenly I could not help but notice that Mel's sorrow had turned to surprise as this furry blur of teeth and claws burst into life and began to make its way from her hands, up her arms and to her shoulder. I had just enough time to point out the obvious to Mel: "That damn thang ain't dead yet!" Then the squirrel tornado launched itself from Mel's shoulder to MY CHEST! "GOOKS IN THE WIRE!" I screamed.....damn the flashbacks. Picture here the cartoon character, The Tasmanian Devil as he twirls around and around in a massive flurry of destruction. That dang squirrel went from my chest down to my left foot and all I could do was pray he didn't find his way UP my pant's leg. In a flash though, he was off my foot and headed through the house, leaving me shaken and trying to take inventory of my more delicate parts. He was a blur as he headed back down the hall and into our bedroom. At this point all three dogs launched themselves into the counter-attack, bravely charging this monster who had dared to attack their beloved masters...not to mention the people who feed them. Squirrel disappears into bedroom, dogs disappear into bedroom. Then the house if full of growling, barking, then doggy cries of pain. As fast as they had attacked, all three dogs suddenly reappeared, running full tilt in retreat; tails tucked between legs in that universal dog sign of abject surrender! They were followed, in close pursuit by the damned squirrel. It was then that my second line of home defense kicked in...the cat brigade was called into action! They closed with the enemy somewhere in the region of the kitchen. Fur flew....unfortunately, so did cats. Lamps were over turned, pictures were dislodged from the walls and Sherman tried vainly to get his 120 pound body up MY DAMN PANTS LEG!!! As I lay on the floor, where Sherman had knocked me, I had the presence of mind to yell to Mel: "FOR GOD'S SAKE, OPEN THE FRONT DOOR!!" She opened the door and like a flash, our invading giant rat charged back outside like a victorious, nut-gathering, Alexander leaving Persia in blackened ruins. It was over. Now as I sit here and remember the short-lived, yet vicious battle that took place on this battleground I call home, I must seriously rethink my whole Home Defense plan using my trusted companions...the dogs. Maybe I should try to hire that damn squirrel and his buddies to take on the job. |
| Check out this link. Hit the little "play" button and hear the song that finally gave me a small bit of Christmas spirit. I was driving home from work tonight in the pouring rain...five days of rain and never over 40 degrees....Bah Humbug. Well like I said, I was driving home and the radio was blaring. Every other song was a Christmas song (my way of punishing myself, I guess). Well suddenly this song came on and I couldn't believe it...I LOVED THE SONG! The surprise is that it was sung by an unlikely group....BareNaked Ladies and Sarah Mclachlan! Who would have thought! I loved the way they sang this Rendition of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen". They had a distinct sound, almost like one of those '60s folk groups. http://hypem.com/track/210276 Please, click on that and listen to it. But, don't worry, even though I got infected with a little Christmas spirit, I am sure it will wear off after I get to work tomorrow! |
| Damn, I had forgotten how philosophical the mind turns at two in the morning. I am sure that all the world's weightiest problems could be solved if great thinkers merely retreated from the arms of Morpheus and spent these wee hours before the dawn contemplating solutions. Where am I going with this? Well, hell, I have no idea, I just had the irrational urge to use the phrase, "the arms of Morpheus" in a sentence because I read it yesterday in one of the worse written, yet mainstream published, books I have ever read. You see, that's how it is...we get an idea, a phrase, in our head and we worry with it and become enamored with it and have to use it. So, we find ourselves on a slippery slope of our own making. That's another one: Slippery Slope...always wanted to use that one too. So now I have used those two phrases...what else is there to write about? Well, since sleep is not anywhere to be seen in my immediate future I guess I better grope about for another subject. Oh, I know, how about Blogville? My last entry I noted that this blog had just surpassed (in numbers) my old blog and this brought forth a plethora of congratulations from folks who actually read the thing. What this really means is that I have been around forever on the blog page, well "forever" in Internet terms anyway. Two or three years is a long time in Internet terms because, let's face it, the Internet is still in its infancy isn't it. Hell, twelve years ago home computers weren't that common. Anyway...yeah, I have been around long enough for moss to grow on my North side. In that time...most of which I have blogged...I have learned some truths about Blogville. 1. For every person who loves what you write, there are going to be ten others who think you are a raving lunatic, a complete moron, or have the IQ of a bruised tomato. 2. You can write a blog being very careful to never, never, insult anyone or be in any way controversial....or you can just be honest, state your opinion, and not give a shit who's toes you step on. Either way, rule #1 will still apply to you. 3. If you write the most awe-inspiring, the funniest, the most literate blog in the whole history of blogs, and you never bother to read or comment to the blogs of others, then you might as well close up shop, cause nobody will read you for any length of time. 4. Blogville is a mirror of the real world most of the time. You have your Liberals and Conservatives, your Hawks and Doves, your tree hugger and Me. In between each of these groups you have the vast majority of other folks, the ones who don't feel that strongly either way about most things. Yes, that's right, Blogville, like the rest of the world, is pretty much fence-sitters...they are somewhere in the middle on any subject that can be written about. 5. Lastly (because the Queen has decreed there can be only five) the ranks of the bloggers are always in flux. They come and they go, don't they. We all do, sooner or later. We come onto the stage, we do our song and dance, then we exit...stage left, or right, depending where you are with regards to #4. So you see, if there is someone who really irritates you, whose writing makes you winch, and who just generally gets on your nerves...take heart. Sooner or later they will move on and another will take their place and you will probably love their replacement. This holds true with everyone, myself included. Hell, if this place is still here five years from now, there probably won't be three bloggers who even remember there was someone named, Tor who did a blog. So, kids, just do what I do; write what you feel, when you feel it and be honest with yourself. Some will love you, some will hate you, and a few will read you, but at the end of the day, the electric bill must still be paid and we must all go to work. The real world still holds command of us and for that world I have no rules or suggestions. Out there it's every man/woman for themselves. All we can do is try to survive out there so that we may come back in here at the end of the day and throw rocks at each other, or lift each other up, or read each other and learn some amazing facts. Well damn, as I typed that last paragraph I just had a rather odd thought. I have spent 58 years in the real world and of that 58, only in the last ten have I been exposed to the inter net world and now that I think about it, I am not sure which one I like the most...now that is just crazy isn't it. Okay, that has to be the subject of another blog cause ole Morpheus ain't gonna come visit me anytime soon, so I need to go put on a pot of coffee. I am off Tuesday so you people be nice...I'm gonna be watching! |
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