Who am I, Where am I Going, and Where have I been? The story of my life!
Jan 11, 2007|
Today, I start attempting to keep one of my goals this year. To write daily. A little about me. I'm a 35 year old mother of 2, married for almost 15 years. I live in urban Indiana and currently stay at home and am a full time student. What makes me different from anyone else? Not much. lol...I have a strange sense of humor. I love to read. I love to sing. I like to play online. I lost both of my parents 6 years ago. Each year things get easier, except in a way they also get harder. Only somone who has been there will have any clue what I mean.
Why am I here? I feel compelled to write. A few years ago my husband and I took a bible study course at church called Disciple 1. Awesome Awesome study. 34 weeks, 80% of the bible. At the begining we had to discuss why we were there...my pat answer was to learn more abou the bible. Funny thing was, in the end, I'd learned a whole lot more. I learned I could have a personal relationship with God. I learned alot of things. I learned about spiritual gifts....and in the end of that study, we had to get up and give a testimony about our time in disciple and what we had learned....my first entry will be that testimony I shared with our congregation that day...the only changes I've made are to remove names.
My plan for this journal/blog is to just talk about me, my daily life, my kids, and whatever God puts on my heart. Pray for me that I may be obedient in this.
Check out these links! Pleeeease :)
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I look forward to touching base with whomever stops in....
God's blessing on you
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|July 26, 2007
So I might be rambly. lol
I have not had such a good day. As a a matter of fact I waited to blog because I was in a rather whiny, crabby, cranky mood...and while I know it will come through a bit that I'm still a bit down..I'm doing better.
But then I went to read purtycurls 's blog and she got very deep. She's got a lot going on, single mom with a son who has some special needs. She's dealing with multiple surgeries...one pending in August and very little help around her.....and she's always there to send a hug or encourage me when I'm down...and she got me thinking so much when she said "Are you standing in the gap for someone else today or is someone standing in the gap for you? If neither is true, are you prepared to be available to do so when called upon, or are you gonna run and hide and say, "It's not my problem" ? " Wow....we all need to think about that...she was praising God for giving her the chance to have compassion shown to her today and for being given the chance to show compassion..and that's the attitude to have. I need to look through different glasses....then to my suprise there she goes extoling my virtues, making me cry and making me feel like I'm not being me here...but trust me..this is it..lol ...so then...I go to comment..cause I loved the question she posed..and needed to point out the fact that she darn near made me cry and how I feel likea fraud...and kh53150 is saying I'm awesome...ok..now I am crying..cause I feel far from it..but thank you both very much for loving and encouraging me. It means alot...we are all just walking alone, trying to make it and have some fun in the process....anyone for an online waterfight???? lol
So why was I not having a good day before? So glad you asked...warning a bit of venting ahead.
Medicaid is on my list again..though part of it is the Dr.'s fault and for the love of all that is Holy I wish they'd all get their acts together. Dr wrote her a new script for her allergy med, the one they said she HAD to be on instead of the zyrtec she'd been on....and she's been on it for 2 months..it's not doing enough...so he wanted to up it....they said, no, sorry you'll have to play our game of lets see who can waste the most paper and lose their minds in the process. OK>..no, what they said was..that needs prior authorization....Mike tried to call the insurance company last night (to spare me having to do it today...gotta love him....) and they were unavailable...they closed at 6...I talked to our advocate today..she wasn't much help at first but she did look into things and called me back to let me know that it was the dr's office screw up not theirs. The dr's office disagrees, meanwhile she's on the old dosage while they figure it out..no matter that her allergies were out of control because she'd been off meds for the allergy testing....and that her allergies trigger her asthma...or that she leaves for camp in 3 DAYS!!! A fact I made very loud and clear to all of them dagnabit!
In other news...my advisor came through, got me into the Spanish class...I reserved my books...finally..had to make a bunch of calls and wait for callbacks and try to figure things out..UGGGGH....especially then when I had someone on the phone I found the spot that told me what I'd needed to know....Murphy....or let's see..I guess I could use Nada 's friend Pollyanna and find something positive to turn it into but my brain is too tired to figure that out.
My classes for the fall are Basic Algebra (cause I don't do math so very well and can't take college math without it..lol..this one scares me..and then I Have to take the college math one...next semester..ug) English 111 (which is freshman english) communications 101-which is speech, spanish 101 which is self explanatory or should be..lol..and a college intro course that they require...it's 14 hours..I inteded to carry 12...but because the college intro course is only 1 credit hour and I have to have 12 to be full time I had to pick up another class..then the spanish class was 4 credit hours...goollly..lol I'm excited in a way, scared a bit...but I think it will be fun.
Still waiting on final aproval for the apartment but we SHOULD have it tomorrow. Tomorrow is also the last day of the bible daycamp...so we will head out in the morning to go to it..then I get to go to the dr's..yippy...lol...my blood pressure is not under control and needs meds..new dr I'm hoping he'll just do it and not decide he needs to watch it like the last one..who basically did nothing...I want to lose weight but I'm half scared to work out and really get my pulse and pressure up there...then I'm spending the rest of the day probably getting ready to send Cassy back to camp...she's excited and after the way the kids all behaved together today...I'm guessing it's a good thing..they've driven me nuts this week.
Well, I'm gonna sign off...I'm tired and need to get a shower before heading to bed..cause I know I will want to sleep until the last possible minute..rush the kids through their cereal and out the door...don't want to miss that shower before goign to a new dr...even if he's not going to see my in my skivvies...lol.
On a side note...my 14th wedding anniversary is Tuesday July 31st...and as strange and interesing coincidence Special Kay 's 13th wedding anniversary is on Monday July 30th...so stop in and wish her a Happy Anniversary and send her poor broken baby toe a big kiss...lol...ok...getting goofy now.
Hope y'all sleep well and have a great night.
hugs and blessings
|July 25, 2007
I'm currently waiting for some phone calls..one about a class I might be taking in the fall...my advisor is working on getting me into the class but so far they have not returned her calls...I'd like to get my books ordered so they can be here before we move. All of my classes are online..this particular class is full but she's trying to get htem to work me in..it's an online Spanish course..and only one district is teaching it online..uggg..I'd just as soon sign up for something different but also want to get this out of the way.
The other call is from the apartment complex we are trying to move into...they hit a glitch...that may actually be in our favor but it meant they had to get some more info...so we wait..she said she'd call back today..as did my advisor.
The kids are squirelly...moody and cranky. So am I..can't seem to settle into any one thing today..need to go fix tehm lunch I guess...but no one is complaining...lol
So what's new in your world?
|July 24, 2007
Today has been rather crazy..lots of running...though we did sleep in.
Took Jamie to a friend's house...to play while I took Cassy to the allergist for testing. On our way we went to the bank and the gas station...at the gas station I realize that almost out of gas..I also almost had a flat tire..UGG>..thankfully they had an air pump...good thing I had 75 cents! Yikes!!! Gas was ok priced..with speedy rewards card it only cost me $2.67 a gallon...cost me $40 to fill my mini van up...not bad but could be better...lol
Made it to the allergist-8 min late...did testing...drama drama drama (told you I had enough in my life didn't I...lol) She did ok...I know it's not fun but it's not like they are murdering her ....Jamie did ok with it..and he was 3 at the time...basically she's only allergic to molds...2 of them....more and more arrows pointing at the house.
Stopped and got a hamburger on the way to take Daddy some money for gas...hugged dad and ran for the 2 kids I babysit ...picked them up, went to get Jamie..and the kids played...then my beautiful and wonderful friend D invited us to eat dinner..ok her husband did..but the food was delicious, the company was even better. Brought the kids home around 9.....babysitting kids left at 10:30...the dogs have been pottied, I have a load of laundry drying, the dishwasher is washing and the kids are in bed. Mike's dozing on teh couch while watching the news and I am just about ready for bed.
Tomorrow should be calm, it's an early babysitting day so I'll try to get around to ya'lls blogs tomorrow and maybe do some other writing...we'll see if the mood strikes.
Ok, I'm outta here...hope you all have a wonderful night's sleep...
blessings and peace
|July 23, 2007
I'm going to make a statement. Not that any of you asked or maybe even care.
I was trouncing around through Blogville today and it appears that in my absence over the last few days there has been some DRAMA.
I could rant and rave and verbally assault people I suppose...but since I don't have a good grasp (and Ok...I don't really want one thanks) on what all the drama is about (I have an idea..and it kind of honks me off that good people are being hurt....it sucks..and you don't even want to get me started there!)
But I won't.....and I won't subject you to my version of a temper fit...those of you who have children deal with that enough..and if not..there are a few blog commentaries you can go read...sorry...my bad...many of you who have commented or blogged on the topic at all have been calm, nonjudgmental...or perhaps protective of yourself or the one you care about that's been hurt..or could be hurt...
This is all really none of my business...and while I have thoughts on the subject...truthfully I don't know what to think about the whole thing......but there are two things that y'all need to know about me.
1. I don't play games well. I'm not talking board games or video games (though I stink at those too...lol) I don't like drama...I have a preteen I have all the drama I need (can I have an AMEN please). I DO believe that one's blog is one's own and no one else has to go read or comment if they choose not too. I do believe that we, to a certain extent open ourselves up to someone else's issues when we blog about something that hits home and could get chewed a new one. But for the most part bloggers here seem to be fairly grown up and drama free. I don't like politics...again I'm not talking presidential races (though there are issues there we won't go into either) I'm talking teacher's pets and knocking someone down because you disagree or dishing dirt because to hurt someone because you can...when one is a member of any group those things can happen but there are directions and paths to be followed to resolve them. ( I know...#1 is more than 1 thing)
2. I am fiercely loyal to my friends and family, the underdog, those who are wronged by those in power. I believe that God calls those in power to be an example..and while I realize not eveyrone agrees with my Christianity...it's my blog and I can feel how I feel...as another writer..who is a much better word flinger than I said...you don't want to read what I have to say, don't come visit. I think it sucks that we are not all acting like grown ups. I guess I can risk saying all this because I'm a lowly black case whose not being shown off or mentioned anywhere..I'm simply me being me. I'm idealist and naive and fell in love with the friendship and support I found here...I hate that there are those who are having problems and are even THINKING about leaving.
For those who are playing games, using power and hurting others....use your creative talents to create something..not break down something or someone who doesn't need your input.
As I was perusing(did I spell that right?) the blogs, the comments and leaving my own comments...I came across an entry...a poem left by a very talented writer...and because it echo's so well how I feel about the whole situation..I wanted to share it here....
Have a child to bathe...hope I didn't step on toes...but the truth is..those of you who are regular readers know I have a tendency to "share" my opinions without you asking...
Guess I did throw a bit of a fit...lol
blessings and peace
|July 23, 2007
The past few days have been normal...Went to church yesterday..no sermon..we had a special singer-his name is Don White and he was great..we bought 2 cd's.
Cassy goes to the allergist tomorrow..Jamie goes next week-I scheduled them separately because Cassy is being allergy tested and I don't need to have to deal with Jamie during it...he's going to a friends house. Thanks D I owe ya one!!!
Jamie's sinus infection does not look like it's clearing up..but it's only been 3 days...he's typical him....
I wrote a poem today. Poetry is not my typical genre...I'm quite amateur at best..but that's what popped in my head today...so I wrote. I thought about ignoring the urge and decided I'd best not....I've not felt the urge in a while to do much more than blog..so I went with it...
Feel free to take a look..but don't feel obligated.
Kids are driving me up the wall.
I've got a couple of calls to make..have made several already today...I have a dr's appt with our new dr on Friday...just cause...maybe my sinus infection/allergy can get under control...striving for blood pressure control..I've been off meds for about 4 years..and I think it's time for me to be back on. We'll see what the dr says though..the last one I went to took a wait and see attitude..big sigh.
Ok..welll, gonna make my calls...talk to you soon...I promise to be stopping by.
hugs and blessings
|July 20, 2007
Today has been a day..not a bad one...though the way I feel I've been hit by a mack truck!
The day started out ok...a little rushed and fried but ok...got the kids to bible day camp..they had a lot of fun.
Came home, took a shower -without interruptions....and then left to drive to Indy to meet my beloved Mike for lunch. We ate lunch at an all you can eat Pasta bar in a hotel near where he works...no kids, no fussing...nice waiter...then I left to come back to pick up the kids...
Called the machine and there was a message from the apartment complex that there were some papers we needed to sign...heading us towards being approved to rent there...so since I was close I went back and signed them, picked up the kids and came home...
On the surface it sounds busy but good...here's what I didn't tell you....while I was on the phone with Mike-to tell him to stop by the apartments to sign the papers as well...I got another call...switched over and it was the ENT's office. They had the results of Jamie's CT scan from yesterday.
Drum roll please
He has a sinus infection...again..maybe still who the hell knows (please note utter frustration and anger) Other than that..the CT scan is normal..there are no physiological abnormalities...no blockage..no nothing...
While I rejoice that there is nothing majorly wrong with my baby's sinus cavaties....I truly do.....It could have been so much worse and I realize that....and I praise God......sort of..and I have to admit this...I was kind of hoping they'd tell me he was really backed up and needed to be cleaned out...or scar tissue from his adenoid surgery as a baby was blocking or something...no..instead what they tell me is that they believe he has ALLERGIES.
NOW, for those of you who have been following along with this poor child's saga you can ignore this part.....for those who haven't...Jamie has had recurrent sinus infections for most of his 4.5 year old life....he's been on antibiotics almost nonstop for more than 2 years... a week here, a week there off but that's it. Most recently we went 41 days straight on antibiotics (2 different ones....) Jamie's been off of that for 2 weeks...14 days. In this time he's seen the ENT and had a CT scan...now he's got another one and we are doing 20 days of a stronger one..and have been referred back to the ALLERGIST...again....he had allergy testing done a year ago...it was negative. Most recently they did lab work to check for an immuno deficiency....there were some low lab values that they boostered..but 2nd time around they were fine as well..and the level of allergen in his blood (IgE) was very low....yet the ENT says it's an allergy issue...the allergist was out of town when I called to voice both frustration and to advise them he has another sinus infection..I talked to his nurse...scheduled an appt and hope to talk to him next week (made the appt for 10 days out to give the meds a chance to "work". The last conversation I had with the allergist -his opinion was that we just needed to let him outgrow whatever the issue is that is causing this...because they can't find a reason.
To me..this is a cop out....He hadn't even ordered a CT scan or anything. Nobody has cultured the crap..maybe it's not bacterial..in which case he doens't NEED an antibiotic...maybe it's fungal...maybe it's stronger than the antibiotics they've given him...I just can't see twiddling our thumbs for the next few years and hoping he outgrows it..not with the frequency of infections...I'm ready to cry and I feel so bad for this little boy for whom having a sinus infection..and the pain and pressure that go with it have become so common place he doesn't even talk about it...says he doesn't hurt ( I have asked if he hurts and where ...not specifics...because I don't want to put words in his mouth..and only when I suspect he's getting sick) It breaks my heart that he thinks he's alwasy sick (though you can't tell it most of the time...he runs and plays inspite of it all...the only thing that knocks him down is a high temp..and I'm talking like 104 (read back to March when we ended up in teh ER)
Don't get me wrong..I'm grateful there is no major issue on the CT scan..I'm grateful he doesn't have an immuno deficiency...I just feel like we are missing something. I feel like this doens't just happen and if someone would tell me what to do to help I'd gladly do it (one of the reasons we are moving...)
As I've typed this...Jamie, who was laying on the floor watching tv, curled up under his blanket(because he wasn't tired, just cold) has fallen to sleep. He was outside at bible day camp for 6 hours, running, playing, and having fun. Despite the fact that he has a bad sinus infection....no wonder he's been a heathen for the last week. Yet how do I not discipline the bad choices and behaviors...he can't get away with it all even if he is sick...but it's hard to find the line...another of my frustrations with this whole thing. I certainly understand falling apart and crying over little things if he's got the sinus pressure and pain I get when I have a sinus infection...and I take medicine..unless I know he's sick I try not to medicate him...and until 2 days ago..there was no drainage...BIG SIGH...enough on all that.
Other than that the day went well. I'm tired, frustated and looking for answers.....I enjoyed my wonderful lunch with my wonderful husband. Tomorrow we have a community event at our church in the evening...on Sunday we have a special singer..and I'm looking forward to them both....we are also going to start doing some packing.
Say some prayers for us...I need answers for my baby..I need money for the move and I need peace within it all.
Sorry...while I know there are positives to it all...I just don't have the energy to look for them..nor the energy to fake like I feel them. I don't. I'm worried and I'm scared for my little guy. I know he's in God's hands and I know this move is in his best interest. I'm just not sure it's enough...can a house make you that sick when you supposedly aren't allergic to ANYTHING? He's been tested for molds, outdoor allergens, pets, milk...and much more...
I've eaten supper. I'm going to go take my shower and go to bed. The angel of God told Elijah, when he was exhausted and scared, running for his life...to eat and to rest. Then look for God. And you will find him in the place you least expect Him (my paraphrase..the actual scripture can be read here-
It's one of my favorite passages of scripture...My Women's Devotional Bible (that Cassy threw up on and no longer have) used this passage with a devotion on how to beat discouragement and depression. I am definitely discouraged. Though I suppose I should pay attention to Jamie's bible day camp craft for today...It's a picture..sort of...and in the middle of this paper..i.s a smaller white piece..that says in big black bold letters.."The Battle is the Lord's" It has rocks glued on it....both the wording and the rocks bring to mind songs...The wording brings to mind a song we sing in Praise Band..."The Battle Belongs to the Lord" I may have shared it here before...but the last verse..and my favorite...goes "When the enemy presses in hard do not fear. The battle belongs to the Lord. Take courage my friend your redemption is near. The battle belongs to the Lord." It is His battle and He's in charge...
The other song is one Cassy taught me from camp a couple of years ago..they sang it at the most recent one as well It goes.."He's my rock, my sword, my shield, He's the wheel in the middle of the wheel. He's the lilly of the valley, He's my bright and morning star. Makes no difference what you say, I'll get on my knees and pray I will pray until the day that Jesus comes" At least that's close...lol...each set of words has actions to it. YOu sing the song over and over ..replacing phrases with actions and sounds...the kids like it..mike hates it becasue it repeats OVER AND OVER AND OVER...lol
Ok..thanks for listening..I guess I"m a bit better..and sleep will help much. I will be on a bit tomorrow. Take care and God bless
|July 19, 2007
I've been fighting a migraine for 2 days...spent most of yesterday resting..and trying to moniter kids from the dark (thanks to sweet Cassy who did her best to keep an eye on things in her own room..letting htem watch movies and play so I could rest without much noise...it wore off, mostly, by evening time and it was all but gone when we went to bed last night. We had FUN with the phone lines and the dsl line but Mike fixed them for the most part.. They are still a bit wonky but we'll deal with it for the next month.
Anyway...after I got the kids fed their lunch...settled in for quiet time (Jamie's ct scan was this morning...I knew he, at the very least, needed a nap. As I sat here this afternoon, my head started hurting again and so I decided while they were napping I would nap. I just woke up...I slept hard..I'm feeling rather groggy..and I have a meeting at church tonight..and it promises to be interesting at the very least. I'm wondering at how wise it was to sleep...uggh.
Such is life.
Tomorrow both kids are going to bible day camp. I will have about 6 hours (give or take for drive time) alone. To do with as I please. Part of me wants to write. Part of me needs to pack..and part of me just wants to sleep, chill and relax...I'll probably end up with a mixture of a couple things anyway...lol
Well, gonna try to get the kids fed before we leave...3 of them are going with me to the meeting...Mike will keep Jamie here...Cassy will keep an eye on the other 2 for me.
Before I go..the next 5 good things about moving...now before I do this..understand that I live in the middle of nowhere..have very few neighbors..and kind of like it that way....but it has it's drawbacks...town (and a small town at that)
So without further ado.
1. Walmart is less than 5 minutes from the apartment
2. There is an outdoor Mall...within walking distance
3. While we have been blessed with a pizza place that does deliver out here..and they have decent pizza...at a reasonable price...we will have delivery options from Dominoes, Papa John's, and Pizza Hut..just to name a few.
4.It's about 15-20 minutes from Indy...giving us options of family things to do much closer to home...cutting down the cost and the time
5. We are moving closer to my sister...not as close as she'd like..but a compromise between Mike's overwhelming desire NOT to live in Indianapolis and her desire to have us closer.
We are moving to a small town (small city..nto sure what it's actually classified as..they have good schools...with lots of stores, a movie theatre, a putt putt...a water park type thing..
that's a link that tells a little about the town we'll be moving to.....anyway...the kids are eating...and my eldest..whose supposed to be my big helper this evening...is acting like a pain in the butt...will have to encourage (read bribe) and remind of the consequences (read threaten) before we leave or she'll be more problem than help.
I'm still a bit groggy and would like to curl back up...such is life I guess...lol
blessings and hugs to all
|July 18, 2007
Hi...I'm having phone line issues....started yesterday..has something to do with the rain...though I've had my dsl most of the time...all of sudden a bit ago I lost it...the problem is outside but our issue...and since we will be moving at the end of August it's probably not going to get fixed. It's back up for now.but I'm clueless as to how long that's for...
Just didn't want anyone to worry....I'll be so glad to move...I have a list going of good reasons to move...there are WAY more than 5..lol...maybe I'll start breaking them into lists of 5 though...hehehe
1. No more phone line issues.....
2. No more electrical outlet issues (we have one that blows...in the kitchen....if more than one thing is going at a time...breaker is in the basement...and too much trouble to get to every time it happens...)
3. closer to my husband's work.
4. high speed dsl vs. what we have now which is SUPPOSED to be dsl but isn't as fast as those in town who have dsl (go figure)
5. no more yard work
Ok...stay tuned, assuming I can get back online tomorrow...for another list of 5...lol
hugs and blessings
|July 18, 2007
Yesterday I wrote an entry..and I thought it was rather funny....and then I got a little ...I got my feelings hurt...becasue no one had read it....yeah...well...that's cause I made it private...duh!
So...lol....have fun reading yesterdays....lol
|July 17, 2007
On July 31, 2007 I will have been married 14 years. This is exciting yet a bit scary..hard to believe it's been so long as well.
I love my husband...he's a wonderful man who has been my rock and my best friend for more than those 14 years. We've had some ups and downs .....some rough spots to overcome and some growing up to do. I thank God every day for my beloved.
Despite that..there have been some times that I've felt a bit taken advantage of...a bit neglected, and a bit misunderstood. For the most part though, we do pretty well together and make a pretty good team.
Reading blogs and making comments I ran across catando 's blog..one I try to visit on a regular basis. If you haven't read it before, you should!
Reading her blog reminded me of a conversation had between 3 women -all friends since high school...2 married, 1 single. We've had a lot of conversations and a lot of fun over the years but this one particular conversation, which took place several years ago...has stuck with me. For privacy sake I won't name names...but you don't need them.
My friend M has been married since right out of high school....we graduated in 1991. She has 4 kids. Her husband was in the (marines? I think..sorry not good with that...it was marines or navy...I know they were based in Iceland at one point ..lol) C is single...and looking I suppose...but seems happy with work and friends and nieces and nephews and such. Her oldest nephew is a year older than Cassy...and the rest are stair stepped around M's and mine...when we get together as a group there are alot of kids and they have a grand old time..(C's sister graduated a couple of years behind us)
Anyway...every once in a while, and not nearly often enough..the three of us, or the four of us will get together and do dinner. One particular time we were together we were discussing our loving husbands..and I don't know how her husband's attitude came out.....but she was talking about how every morning while he was in the shower she would get up and get his clothes ready and laid out for him. This had been going on for a while and then all of a sudden-he started complaining about what she was laying out and being a real butthead about it. Now... I probably would have said somethign to the affect of "Don't like what I picked out, get your own clothes" or "If you'd do more than shrug when I ask what you wanted to wear ...then you might be wearing what you wanted to" Not M. After several days of the attitude and ingratitude...she took a pair of pinking shears to his pants pockets....ALL OF THEM! Rather an expensive way to make your point...but point made nonetheless....I would never do it..but it sure tickles me to this day...thinking about him bitching and moaning over her choices, putting on his pants...putting his wallet in and having it fall down behind..having a handful of change, dropping it in his pocket and have it rain down his legs onto the floor...lol...then thinking he had a bad pair of pants, changing into another pair to find out they were ALL that way..lol...well...he adjusted his attitude.
Well, I'm gonna go finish reading blogs. Have a great night
hugs and blessings
|July 16, 2007
Ok...I'm registered for my classes...all but one...am waiting on info from my advisor (a very sweet woman who was loads of help! Who willingly accepted the fact that I get lost so very easily and showed me the other two places I needed to get to-thank you thank you thank you!) Mike is registered for his final classes as well for this fall and then will graduate.
My baby is home. She had a blast at camp and wants to go back next year...she did want to come home...but is more than happy to go to church camp in two weeks as well..lol. They put on a performance at the closing ceremony and she did great. She has a certificate stating she completed courses from the Indiana Music Institute...and she learned how to play a bit on the ukulele (I had to look the spelling up) and the recorder..as well as her singing. Her singing teacher said she'd love to have a room full of Cassy's....made me feel good...though I can't imagine more than one of her.
Ok...onto the pending change...I'm not going to give a whole lot of info here...but since my life is going to be in chaos and because I'm going to pop if I don't tell ya..lol...the long and short of it is that we are moving......there is alot of stuff going on..we've been in our home for 10 years and we are letting it go...it's a battle we've fought against for 4 years..not something we wanted...but the right choice for us at this time. We will be renting for a few years...but we are moving closer to Mike's work (which he now drives an hour...he will be driving 15 minutes) The kids will have to change schools-but are excited about the move. We are downsizing..which is scary but good...and while there are things that are scary and I"m nervous about...we are also excited. AND HAVE TONS TO DO!!!
OMG>..I"m so not organized..lol...so we shall see. We move the end of August. I'll talk more about it tomorrow. Part of the decision is based on our kids' health...and Cassy not having to use her inhaler at camp but coming home and having problems again kind of sealed it...not to mention Jamie's issues...
So that's it in a nutshell.
OH...CT Scan is rescheduled for Thursday morning (Jamie's) He loved bible day camp and will be going the next 2 Fridays....guess I'll use that time to pack since Cassy has decided she wants to go to.
Well, shower and bedtime...I'll be back later
sending hugs and blessings
|July 13, 2007
Ok..so today didn't go quite as planned....big surprise right?
Last night after running around and trying to get everything ready to leave so very early this morning (read previous entry). I finally got to bed shortly after 1am...and tossed and turned for 2 hours. I was far too wired to sleep. Finally settling in after 3..I woke up around 5:20..the alarm being set for 5:30 am...and decided..since I'd already had my shower..that I only needed 20-25 minutes to get me dressed, Jamie dressed and out the door. So I reset the clock for 5:50am.....When I next woke up it was 6:47....the alarm didn't go off! We have a dual alarm clock..both were set-hubby gets up at 6:21 (so he can hit snooze, go back to sleep for 9 more minutes and get up at 6:30...lol...anyway...neither went off. And they were set. For AM. Wasn't me. Apparently the beeping part of the alarm decided to stop working this morning. I got up, flew out of bed, got MIke up and started getting dressed to get out of here...we'd be late but we'd make it to Jamie's cat scan by golly....then reason took over. It was going to be 7 before I could be out the door..at the earliest..and we'd need to drive an hour to a place we needed to be in 15 minutes...so I called and rescheduled and let Jamie sleep and put myself back to bed (after figuring out the alarm clock (radio still works but no beeping!!!)
I did get Jamie to bible day camp (which he absolutely loved!) and myself to my appointment with my advisor. I'm registered for my classes...I will be working toward a AA in English and Communication.....which will transfer over to a 4 year degree for a BS in English-probably towards Journalism but we shall see.
Anyway...came back here, made some calls...picked Jamie up, went to pick up some stuff at the store, met Mike for dinner and then went to Jamie's VBS program. We are now settling in, I have a writers cramp piece I"m going to work on..I'll post it here if I get it done..and hten I'm going to bed....Tomorrow I get my baby back!!!
Talk to you later.
Blessings and hugs
PS-it's finished...I'd love to hear what you think....the prompt is well...lol...about fear of Friday the 13th or the number 13....but it the big phobia names listed....lol
|July 13, 2007
Tomorrow I have to be an hour away from home at 7:15 for Jamie's Sinus CT Scan. Then I have to drop him off at 10am (They said it should take about 15-20 min....hour trip back, stop for breakfast...I'm hoiping to time it all correctly) at a bible Day Camp another church is having ( we have church members taking their kids too..Jamie's very excited) I meet with my advisor for school at 11 (pushing it close since it's ALMOST an hour away.) then pick Jamie up at 4-don't know how long I"ll be with my advisor or what I"ll do after....then we have to be at the church for our vbs program at 6:30pm..it's at 7...Not sure if I'll be on in the evening or not..depends on how crazy it is and how wiped out I am.
Sat morning I have to be up and out about 8am...to go get Cassy..I can't WAIT!!! She's been gone for 10 days and I"m so ready to have her home. I"m sure she's had a blast..but I don't know this..no letter....lol...guess no news is good news.
We are probably taking her to see Harry Potter on the way home...so it'll be a late evening (camp program starts at 10:30-not sure how long it lasts) Sunday we have church, another vbs program...and a thingy to do afterwards...not sure when we'll be home...
Anyway...didn't want anyone to worry..hope you and yours are doing well....have a great weekend!
hugs and blessings
|July 11, 2007
OMG..Ok..I have a four and a half year old boy child. He's a good kid..mostly..little on the hyper side...little on the ornery side (he gets that from his dad...lol) can be whiny...uses his cuteness far too often to get out of trouble. Stubborn and independant.
Last summer...at 3 and half years of age...he FINALLY decided to become potty trained. We'd tried, preschool tried..we'd bribed, rewarded, tried just undies, tried naked, tried pullups...many things..nothing worked. He didn't want to sit on the potty. Period. End of discussion..he also didn't want to stand...but before his 3rd birthday started sleeping dry..and has had very few nighttime accidents since.
Last summer once he decided to be potty trained..it was almost an overnight event. Since then..one of his favorite pasttimes has been peeing outside. He has a tree along the driveway he uses religiously on our walk back from his school bus.lol....otherwise, he'll pee wherever..no modesty, no shame. As only a little boy can do. I could share lots of anticdotes....the time I was settling my babysitting kids down for quiet time and went back to clean up lunch and he was gone....(slipped outside to pee since the bathroom was busy) or the time he insisted going outside to pee in the rain. I could share accidents (big boys might be able to just pull it out and not pull their pants down to pee but he's too little and pees down the front of his shorts)
This summer we've had some other issues. He'll be outside and have to poop...and a..squeeze his butt cheeks together to keep the poop from coming out or b. poop in his pants on teh way inside. Now, while I appreciate him not pooping outside....neither answer above works either. Please keep in mind, we live in the country with very few neighbors so his pottying outdoors bothers no one.
About 20 min ago..he came running in...He said, while standing in the kitchen door way "I had to poop and pee..and I knew if I ran it would come out" So I said "so did you poop in your pants? He said "no" and I said "then go in the bathroom and go. and he said "No, I pooped in the house and I wiped my butt on a bag." So I then said..."you pooped in my house?" He said no. Dumbfounded and trying to figure out what exactly he's done...I then asked again if he had poop in his pants...he replied a little bit and that he'd stepped in it too. So I picked him up, carried him over my living room carpet and set him down in teh bathroom. I then asked "Where did you poop?" He again says "In the house" As I'm pulling down his pants to clean him up..there IS NO POOP IN HIS UNDERWEAR!!! We get clean clothes (his were a little wet) on him, washed his hands...and I said.."Jamie, where did you poop?" He said "I pooped in the house" And I said "You pooped in my house?" He said "NO. I pooped in the little house. Outside. and I wiped my butt with a bag."
Sighing I told him to tell everyone to stay out of the little house- a plastic play house-for now. And asked him to please listen to his body next time before he has to do that outside.. I"m worn out just from trying to figure out where the kid pooped..lol..gross and disgusting yes..but rather funny in my opinion...I just had to share.
On another note-and towards the other child..the girl one who has forgotten we exist while she's at camp....
I read a book recently. I love to read...but don't often have time anymore...but last Friday Jamie and I made an adventure of Half Priced books (OH the number of Dr. Seuss Books I read him to be told..no that's not the one I want...rofl)
Anyway-I picked up a book for me..it rather jumped out at me and is the only one I even got to look at for me- It's called "My Girl -Adventures with a Teen in Training" by Karen Stabiner
It's pretty good...and it's basis is that not all families have to have major trauma inthe teen years-especially with a girl-that there is hope...
The opening paragraph of the fly cover reads "Here's a radical concept: Most girls are happy, and so are their mothers. Most girls are not destined for depression, eating disorders, low self-esteem, and raging fights with their parents-that's just a very noisy minority. In My Girl, Karen Stabiner tells the story of one girl's journey into adolescence, and of her own efforst to find a way to guide her daughter through life's real thickets-not the scary but rare ones we hear so much about."
It was good. It gave me hope. Holler if you'd like to borrow it and I'll find a way to get it to you. Basically what she says is yes, there will be fights and problems...but it doesn't have to the ugly. She hits their ups and downs..the goods and the bad and how she as a mother felt through it all.
Ok..so htat's where I am now. Hope you enjoyed a giggle today on our behalf.
blessings and hugs
|July 10, 2007
Ok, I'm back..lol..andas the title indicates I'm in a strange mood..not a bad one...not nearly as grouchy as I was yesterday. Not down...a little bouncy, a little frustrated...a little bit on anticipation...sort of..lol
Jamie's not had a good day. He's not feeling good I don't think..mind you..he's no angel on a good day..he's a 4 year old boy..but he's biting, and hitting and very very whiny. Oh wait..he's not on his allergy meds or an antibiotic right now. WHY? Well after approximately 3 rounds (about 41 days) of antitiotics..he's done. Why is he off of his allergy meds..because the allergist sees no need....he's not allergic to anything according to the lab work and the scratch test. So he's off of them. I'd give my opinion but it's moot....what's going to happen is going to happen...he has a CT scan on Friday..we'll see what that shows...and go from there.
Changes are in the air at church and I've been emailing back and forth with a couple of people over the last couple of days.. Spiritually I feel pretty positive...that's part of the reason I'm in a strange mood I guess..those interactions with the Holy Spirit leave me with a kind of high...yet looking for what I need to do next...know what I mean? If not...just chalk it up to me being me..and know there were no drugs invovled.....lol
VBS starts in less than an hour..in about 20 min we will be leaving-ok make that 15 now...I just changed and got my shoes on..the kids are eating and then we will leave. I hope y'all have a great night.
I've really wanted to do some writing outside of my blog today but every time I started it just wouldn't come. I did edit "Invalid Item" a bit..but that's about it. I started to write another chapter..but I just struggle so with it...I don't do dialogue well....suggestions on that hurdle anyone?
Ok..well time to run...will have to check the mailbox on the way out...see if there is a letter for me there...lol
|July 10, 2007
It is almost 10 am..and so I don't suppose I can complain about the hour. My husband gets up at 6:20...babysitting kids in teh door at 7:45.....didn't sleep well last night..we flipped the mattress...lol...and there were bumps instead of lumps...lol...you know what I mean
The kids are outside playing...it's supposed to rain later so I booted htem out the door.
This week is VBS at our church. Because it is also Fair week in our county I wasn't sure whether I could help or not (because of Cassy and 4H) but since she's at camp I have been leading a group...last night I had 12 kids (there are 3 groups, mixed ages..plus a group of preschoolers) The theme is Avalance Ranch...so far we've had fun...though I have little to do but lead them from activity to activity and keep them from running off.
I miss my baby. I'm sure she's having fun. I pray she's safe and happy. Saturday is not coming fast enough..lol
Well, not much going on here..I need to go load the dishwasher and check on the kids....
Watch out..I hear there is a thief in Blogville...lol..and Tor is on the rampage!
|July 7, 2007
Good evening to you all. Of course, when you read this ..it may no longer be evening....so then make the next evening you have a good one and we'll call it even...lol
As the title indicates, I'm alone-alone in the house for the first time since school let out. My beloved didn't want to leave me behind but he and Jamie took a boys night and went to the drive in ...they will be (probably are right now) watching Transformers and eating popcorn-I was a little concerned about how appropriate it would be for his 4 1/2 year old imagination-but he assured me he woudln't be scared...daddy assured him he'd keep him safe and assured me he'd bring him home if it got too scary. So we shall see.
I'm not REALLY alone in the house..I have my 2 german shepard mix doggies (Scamp and Serena) here with me....and I don't mind being alone. I really wasn't in the mood for the movie-Evan Almighty is playing after that..and it's probably not my cup of tea either. Jamie will be asleep by then and Mike can watch and enjoy...and I can be where I'd like to be if I were bored during the movie...lol
No word from camp yet-but then I'm sure it will be next week before I hear anything anyway. We are thinking about trying to find someone to spend the day with Jamie so we can pick her up alone and then take her to go see the new Harry Potter movie which comes out on the 11th. Not sure what we will do otherwise-anyone wanna babysit next Saturday (from about 8:30am on??? lol)
Yesterday I took Jamie to the ENT appt. I forgot to say anything about when it was...so don't bother trying to scroll back...lol..you won't find it....Basically the ENT said if it's not a physical malformity there isn't much he can do..but they are doing a cat scan next Friday to determine whether there IS an issue or not. Not much hope..yet at least a direction at this time. He also wants the lab work from the other dr...I signed releases..not sure why he didn't already have them...ugggh.
So, at 7:15 next Friday morning I have to have him at the hospital an hour away...then 4 hours later I have to have dropped him off at someone's house..oh hell I need to find 2 sitters...sheesh...and go to my appt with my advisor to get enrolled for school in August...I"m getting rather excited!!!
Dogs want out..so I'm gonna sign off of the blog and maybe do some contest writing after I get done with them.
hugs and blessings..thanks for stopping in
|July 5, 2007
Hope everyone had a very Happy 4th of July!
Yesterday morning, while trying to get ready to go to my sister's house to celebrate...I FINALLY ..and very suprisingly I might add, got a phoen call from the camp director letting me know that Cassy's name was on their list for this camp and that registration started at 1pm....on the 5th.
SO....instead of getting ready to go to my sister's house I started trying to get Cassy packed for camp...10 days at camp...I wasn't sure she even had enough clothes for 10 days at camp. Cassy is a big girl...she's tall for her age and a little bit chunky..but not much...she's abuot 5'3" and weighs about 150 lbs, though she's dropped a little bit since the last time we were at the dr....ball season and playing outside for the summer instead of sitting in a desk and having to do home work in the evening will do that too you (though I can't blame it ALL on that..lol) Anyway, she's taller (yes, it's true Sis...lol) than my sister...
We did have enough clothes...just....got everything clothing wise packed, towels packed, etc. and then headed out to my sister...all while I was baking a cake thank you very much...lol. We got home just after midnight. I had to wash her sleeping bag (new from Goodwill) and her swimsuit and towel which we had taken to my sister's. It was about 1:30 when I got to bed.....was up at 7:30, to finish packing...and labeling all of her stuff...we bought all her sunscreen and bug spray etc yesterday while we were out.....She had a big suitcase, her sleeping bag and a duffel bag-takes a lot to stay away for 10 days (her pillow and blankets are in the duffel bag for now...will be used for dirty clothes (that's MY goal anyway..lol) And we left at about 10:30 this morning...luckily my husband took the day off...but I also had Jamie and 2 of the kids I babysit with us (JOY OH JOY).
Drop off was a mess-a long line and they hadn't gotten most of her forms-so I had to fill out new ones..yippy...we had trouble finding the darn place and ...it was just difficult because her other camp we could take her to her cabin and get her settled...this one...you drop them at the main pavillion and they and their belongings are taken a few at a time to their cabins....scary for us as we just had to leave her...waiting for trnasport by her 10 year old lonely self...she was ok for the most part-told us she loved us...and goodbye mom...lol...but woudl've been happier too I think if we'd have been able to take her to her cabin and meet her counselor.....but most of these kids are brought by van from around the state....with volunteers..and their parents don't even see the camp...she was definitely in the minority there....
Still...we did ok...nervous yes..but I know she's in God's hands..and this is a Salvation Army camp...i.t's a Christian organization...it's also funded through the United Way..so I'm sure there are very strict guidelines....(ok people..now is the time to encourage me and make me feel better...this is my baby!!!)
I don't give up control of my children easily. She's been to camp before...2 different years....and last year was easier than the year before...but this is new and the communication has been slim....I prayed that if God wanted her to go to this camp they would call and verify she was on the list...because I coudln't just go without it...and I've prayed He will use this time to grow her closer to Him...and I've prayed and will continue to for her safety and enjoyment....I know they'll call if something major is long (worry a bit about the asthma too) I'll be ok once I get a letter from her telling me she's having fun.....at least I was the first year. So we shall see.lol...pray for her, pray for me...so many changes going on...I want this for her..I love camp, she loves camp...looks so forward to going and usually has a BALL...new camp, new nerves. She goes to church camp 2 weeks after coming back from this one..and it's a new one too...we did a different one the last 2 years..but this one offers more and that includes horseback riding....(the one in 3ish weeks.) Won't be long after that that we start back to school...egads!
Ok...gonna go...you'll probably get lots of entries from me this week...lol...
Will check in soon
hugs and blessings
|July 3, 2007
And I don't mean fireworks!
I don't mean to complain..I really don't...life is Good...God is very good...and I'm just honked off. Let me explain.
Back in late April or early May, while at a 4H meeting at our local community center...the director told us about a camp-free camp for those who qualify-through the Salvation Army. There were 2 dates that Cassy qualified for..one back in June...the day after ball season ended....and one that starts July 5th...it goes until the 14th and is a music camp-it also falls right at the begining and during our 4H fair (which she's involved in) and our church's vbs (which she generally enjoys). Because of this we coudln't decide whether to do it or not...it meant missing most of the fair-and not entering as many projects because of the dates they are due and requirements....in the end she decided that 10 days at a music camp outranked 4H....she can still enter projects just not all that she would have. Cassy loves music..loves to sing, can't wait for next year when she gets to be in band and choir. The application was completed and sent in before the cut off....I have confirmation from the lady that sent it..that it was in fact received before June 11th.
Which brings me to where I am now...very frustrated, aggrivated and upset. Why you ask? Because I don't have confirmation that she's been accepted..and camp starts in 2 days..tomorrow is a holiday so no one will be in....I've talked to the lady I gave the application to a couple of times in the last 2 weeks and she was trying to get ahold of someone. I had pretty well given up...figuring we didn't qualify or something...and they just hadn't sent out a decline letter.
This morning...I decided to try again to find out what was going on..we have a lot going on in the next few days and company coming as well....so I need to line up my ducks (not chickens..lol). I made 3 phone calls and wrote 2 emails before I finally got a phone number of someone who "should" be able to help. She was not a pleasant person and was not overly happy to help. She informed me that if I didn't get a letter it meant my daughter had been accepted but that she'd call and check if I'd like...however the last child she'd checked for that had been the case. I requested she verify for me, gave her my name and phone number....I got no call back. Since then I've emailed someone else...made a few phone calls...and at least now know the registration times....and what to take...
I can't take my 10 year old daughter to a camp...without some kind of verification....and have her possibly heartbroken because she cna't stay....let alone the gas for the 2 hour (almost) drive there. I want her to be able to go....I think she'd have a lot of fun....but I'm pretty ticked off....did I ever tell you that one of my BIGGEST pet peeves is lack of communication?
GRRRR. Somebody save me .....I just don't get it...I know absolutely nothing..times, location, what to take (ok, I do know that now..but) I don't have confirmation we are supposed to be there...the paperwork I finally got faxed to me is very confusing about how drop off goes....AHHHHHHHHHH. Why in all the people I've talked to do only a few seem to understand my hesitency? What do you think? Would you take off to drive there ...and possibly have it blow up? Would you even have confidence in the camp at this point?
She goes to church camp June 29-Aug3 ...it's not like she won't get to go...I just was trying to give her experiences and enjoyment....and time where she gets to be her, do her thing....music is so her thing...though now she's a little unsure too..not because of htis..but becasue her best friends' family is coming Thursday..and will be here through the weekend....she doesn't want to miss out....I think, though I need to talk to Mike....that if I don't get a definite that she's registered..and how it's all supposed to take place and when and where. (I get lost easily ..I need directions) that she probably won't go...though I'm still torn.
On a side note..she's now quite giggly....and grinning....There are 2 new boys in the neighborhood...they are 10 and 11....The 10 year old likes her, she likes him....he's supposedly now her boyfriend...though he has another girlfriend he's going to break up with...tried to warn her if he'd do it to someone else he'll do it to her..but she believes his story that the girl wants to date his brother anyway...OMG>..drama central.
This is the first boyfriend she's had-or been allowed to have....for the most part we have not allowed it....not wanting to distract from school and such...she's such a drama queen anyway......but all of her friends have had boyfriends...and it's not like they are going anywhere but the front yard....lol...that I keep a pretty close eye on....and she knows if it interferes with school or anything else it will be the last time for quite a while that she will have a boyfriend. Another new experience....gotta love it...
Ok, have to go peel potatoes....figure out what veggie to have with the beef roast in the oven
talk to you people's later..thanks to all who have stopped by ..and to all those who are keeping us in your prayers.
hugs and blessings
|July 1, 2007
Ball season is now completely over. The team party on Friday was a lot of fun for both kids....Cassy (Sis) was in the pool most of the time we were there...getting out only to jump on the trampoline and eat...right before we left. Yesterday was the Indianapolis Indians game that her team got to go to because of raising the most money in their division for the bat a thon..the bat a thon was a success...last Sunday they gave out the prizes, the trophy's (tball) and medallions (the rest of the kids) for participating this year.....Anyway...back to the Indianas game...their were several youth teams from our town there (one from each division (tball on up). They all got to go out on the field with the players during the national anthem. That was pretty cool..only Cassy went to the wrong section of the field (only she knew she was in the wrong place...since they told her to go to the position she usually plays..and that truly varies) still she was a tad bit embarressed. The girls were in rare form...doing their chanting (hit it to me I want it, want it, hit to me I want it)-and one time the 3rd baseman actually turned around and looked at them. Still-no one caught a pop fly..and Cassy was disappointed.-she really wanted one. What we aren't telling her is I'm a bit disappointed too...for that and the fact that ball season is now over...yes I know how busy we were..and how much more she has going on before school starts...lol..but softball is a big thing and I guess I should quit saying she lives for it and say we all live for it...we get a lot of enjoyment out of watching her team play and cheering them on. Next year is a bit scary as it will be the first time since tball that we don't know her coach..she and 4 other girls age out of this division and will have to move up....I wish her coach would move up but his daughter doesn't age out for another year. Cassy was in tears at the last game...and her coach made sure to tell her to keep playing next year...and he'd do everything in his power to get her back the following year....when his daughter moves up he'll try to get the team back together.
The thing is...things here are rather in upheavel...alot of changes going on...and I don't know if we will even be in this area next ball season...let alone the following. We are looking into moving closer to my beloved's work...renting an apt. about 15 min from there. There are alot of things going into this and none of the decisions are set in stone..as a matter of fact I think I'd be happier if htey were.....I don't do well not knowing what's going on and how things will be working out. I know God is on our side..and it's a good thing..lol
I'll let ya know what's going on in the coming months -to what extent I can......alot of it is very personal and I can't put it all out there to share....though it will be at some point at least, a journal entry for my eyes only...for my records.
Well, need to go load the dishwasher..have been cleaning and straightening..hubby is mowing....Cassy was helping but she can't do any more riding right now....and ..lol...it's faster if he does it...
Try to get in later
blessings and hugs..thanks to all who have stopped by
hugs some more