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Rated: 13+ · Book · Other · #1207566
Musings from my mind
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I'd kept a paper journal for years, so I thought I'd try this out and see how it works. I must say, I'm rather liking it!! Here's some background stuff. I'm in my 40's, doing the single mom thing with a 10 yo son. My son has ADHD, ODD and was also diagnosed with high functioning autism. He can be a challenge, but he can also be pure joy.

This is my safe place. I come here to vent my frustrations, celebrate my victories, share a recipe or two and make new friends. I like it here. I hope you do too.

Thanks for stopping by,
Curls
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May 24, 2007 at 9:22pm
May 24, 2007 at 9:22pm
#510832
Joseph promoted to orange belt!!! I'm so proud of him. He did good!

Today was a rough day for me. I've been pretty melancholic most of the day and it seemed every client I had to deal with today had been beaten by stupid sticks. I was quite frustrated by the end of the day.

I've also been thinking about a love I lost a while ago. Someone that I cared deeply for suddenly and shockingly decided they didn't want me in their life anymore. It hurt terribly at first, and as with most broken hearts, over time healing comes. However today, I got to thinking about that person, and got to missing his smile, his laughter and the comaraderie we shared. Suddenly it felt as if he had dumped me yesterday and the hurt was fresh all over again.

I know why. I was listening to a song that Allison Krauss did with James Taylor called How's the World Treating You, and I started thinking about him. Those sappy love songs will do it every time. Maybe it's better this way. Maybe the universe is telling me it's better to stay alone for now. With Joe's issues, and the donkey's bulls***, maybe that's just requiring more grace than anyone else has to give me right now. I mean really, who would want to knowingly step into all that?? The truth is, my reality just kinda sucks right now.

8 more years.....8 more years. Seems like an eternity right now. Yet, I know one day I'll wake up and wonder "where did the time go?" I don't want to miss a second of my son's childhood, yet I yearn for a life outside of parenting. I know, be thankful for what I have. I am. I am deeply grateful. I know that I must take the bitter with the sweet, and right now I'm getting a taste of the bitter side.

This emotional thing I'm feeling will pass. I've long since learned not to give much credence to my emotions as they are temporary and frequently wrong and simply cannot be trusted. All I can do is feel whatever I am feeling, own it, acknowledge it, while not trusting it, and let it run it's course and eventually fade away.

This is not a normal type blog for me. I like to write things that are uplifting and cheerful. This is not one of those days. I'm real cranky right now, and I am allowing myself to be that way. Why? Because I'm the mommy, that's why!!!
May 23, 2007 at 10:03pm
May 23, 2007 at 10:03pm
#510602
Ok, I just HAD to post this. The link below is hilarious. Warning, It is a long read and does contain some explicit pictures.

A guy in the UK decided to yank the chain of one of those famous email scammers. Posing as several characters, the respondant led the scammer on for a month and had the scammer make a complete fool of himself before revealing that it was indeed the scammer who had been scammed and exposed (quite literally). I laughed my ass off.

http://pugwash.100free.com/patrickbait1.htm
May 23, 2007 at 7:31am
May 23, 2007 at 7:31am
#510440
Not a whole lot of time here, but wanted to jot something down. Joe is very tired, so I let him sleep in some this morning. He'll be late for school, but at least he'll be rested when he gets there. This is a big week for him. The 4th grade had a musical last night, I took lots of pics, can't wait to get them printed out. Tomorrow he tests for his orange belt. I wanted him to be well rested for that too. He'd be very disappointed if he didn't promote. Please wish him well, and hopefully I'll have a few more pics of him up here soon.
Love to all,
Curls
May 20, 2007 at 10:07am
May 20, 2007 at 10:07am
#509735
Today I want to talk about singles ads. I've only dated 2 men in the last 5 years. My choice, yes, but the truth of the matter is most of the single men I have encountered are simply not what I'm looking for. So, like many people, I went to the almighy internet and placed singles ads on a few sites. I haven't and still don't have high expectations with it, but who knows what may happen, and there's no harm done in looking.

I'm doing quite well on my own, and don't NEED a man in my life. It would be great to have someone special who thinks that I'm wonderful, but I'm doing just fine being single.

It's not that I'm too terribly picky. I do have a few things that are important to me. I don't want a convicted felon, or drug user. I’m not interested in dating outside my ethnicity. I’m not racist, mind you, I just don’t care to date outside my race. I don’t want some mama’s boy who still lives with their mama other than taking care of her for health reasons. I want them to be honest, financially independent and gainfully employed. Simple stuff. Basic stuff. They don't need to be a millionaire, or a rocket scientist, just someone who wants a meaningful relationship and not just a piece of ass.

It's absolutely baffling, and somewhat humorous in a sad way to read other's ads. I can't imagine that people actually think they will get responses to what they write. Most sites have you write a "tag line" or an attention getter line that will create enough interest so that others would want to read more. Here are some examples of tag lines I've seen:

mmmmmmgood
want-in-it
smooth-n-bold
left-out
need-weed

You get the idea, and it’s totally not impressive. Oh, and they want to meet a woman in her 40's who has NO baggage and NO drama. Yeah, right. Dream on, Mofo.

Then, there's the men in their mid 40's who seem to think that if they type in "text message language" that they will appear "hip" and "cool". Think again. I've gotten messages that look like this:

"How r u? I like 2 get 2 no u more...." etc. Not gonna happen, dude. Especially when I put in my profile that I like INTELLIGENT conversation. There is this thing called spellcheck for those that have trouble spelling. Typing in text message lingo just seems lazy to me.

Then there are those who have so many isms and are so daggum particular to the point that there is no humanly possible way anyone could meet their criteria. It just totally blows my mind.

I either don’t have a picture posted with my ad or use a very old picture. I don’t want to be judged by my appearance, and if the first contact I receive is a request for a “pic”, I lose interest very quickly. I don’t want someone who is so superficial who would discount me because I’m not a supermodel. Some of the most beautiful people I know are not the most physically attractive, but my life is so much more blessed because they are in it. Looks are so temporary anyway. Men deal with hair falling out, women’s breasts sag and droop. You take what life gives you. I’d much rather base my dating decisions on the integrity and character of an individual rather than their looks.

So, in the meanwhile, I enjoy the entertainment factor that browsing singles ads provide, and realize that my life ain't so bad.

Thanks for stopping by,
Curls
May 19, 2007 at 3:27pm
May 19, 2007 at 3:27pm
#509612
Happy Saturday. I finally got a recent pic taken from me and it took me a while, but I finally figured out how to post it here. I also started an "Images" folder and put a pic of Joe there so ya'll can finally see for yourself my little darlin'.
Not much else going on here today.

Thanks for stopping by,
Curls
May 17, 2007 at 9:13pm
May 17, 2007 at 9:13pm
#509256
Finally! I got my car back! Whooohooo!!! after 2 months of it being in the shop it's finally back. I'm so glad I got the service agreement. The repair was over $900, and then if you add on the towing, and the free loaner, the service agreement has just paid for itself in this one repair. I'm very happy about that.

On the down side, I've been used to driving the loaner vehicle, an 07 Taurus with power steering. My car has rack and pinion steering. Remember, my hands are still quite weak, and just driving it this evening, I can feel the pull in both my wrists. Guess I'll have to go back to wearing my wrist supports until I get used to it.Still, it ain't that bad. They've hurt so much worse in the past, I can deal with this.

I also got something else resoved finally today. Since the beginning of April, I've been asking the Donkey what we were going to do for Summer care for Joe. Joe isn't permitted to attend the YMCA because the donkey hasn't paid his half of what was due for last year. I offered that I could keep Joe with me for a month, and he could have Joe with him for a month, and then we would split the first two weeks of August. After being told he "needed to think about it", then being told he "should know by the end of the week", then being told he'll "have an answer by the end of the day" none of which ever happened, mind you, I called him this am and told him I needed an answer. He's agreed to keep Joe for June, and I get him for July.

Works for me because I have jury duty in June and have to travel out of town for business. The part that pisses me off is that he won't take Joe to his therapy appointments. Taking him to therapy would be implying that he's acknowledged Joe's diagnosis of autism, which he's still in denial about. sigh. so, no therapy in June. But I'm glad I don't have to scramble to find child care for June now. I was really worried about that, and its good to have this resolved.

My quote today is: Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug.

Thanks for coming by,
Curls
May 15, 2007 at 2:42pm
May 15, 2007 at 2:42pm
#508535
Today was a big step for Joe....he rode the bus home for the first time! I met him at the house just to make sure that it wasn't too traumatic for him. Changes are hard on him. He did well, only complaint was the teenagers' cussing. He'll be riding the bus home 2 days a week for the rest of the school year. He can't go to afterschool anymore because the donkey hasn't paid the bill. No big surprise there.

If this works well, come fall it could be expanded to 5 days a week if/when I take the donkey back to court. It's time Joe be given more responsibilities and learn to be more independant anyway, so it's all good. My mother's heart is having a bit of a struggle with it, but it's all a part of loving and learning to let go little by little.
May 13, 2007 at 8:54am
May 13, 2007 at 8:54am
#508037
Today's Mother's Day, but for me, it's just another day. I have no one around me to do special things for me, and right now, that's ok. I don't mind. Joe's at his dad's until tonite.

I'm kinda used to not expecting a whole lot on Mother's day, Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays, etc. Since I've adopted that viewpoint, I find I'm disappointed a whole lot less. Less disappointment is good. I've also realized how much work those days entail. Who needs that?

Today, I'll be alone with peace and quiet until I pick up Joe. That in itself is priceless, and I'm very thankful for that. I don't have to fight the crowds in restaurants, or right now, the smoke outside for that matter. It's very smoky here from the wildfires. The wind brings the smoke down to my area.

That's about it for now. I do wish all the mother's out there a happy, peaceful day.
Thanks for stopping by,
Curls
May 10, 2007 at 7:55am
May 10, 2007 at 7:55am
#507424
I've been kinda cheating lately on my blog, and cutting and pasting items rather than just writing something out of my head. Haven't really had much that I've wanted to talk about.

Today, I'm taking Joe to Occupational Therapy and then to the Dentist. This is his regular checkup. Last month he had the $700 procedure, of which I paid my half, but the donkey hasn't paid his share. No surprise. So, I'm going to have to pay his half, then take him back to court to get it added to the child support arrearage. Then there's today's appointment, and I know he's not going to pay on that either.

I sure wish the donkey would get a job that would allow him to pull his share of Joe's financial needs, but that would mean that he'd have to be responsible and <gasp> actually think about what he's doing, rather than whine about how s***ty his life is.

I guess he's still expecting all the answers to fall from the sky and drop in his lap rather than take and assertive approach and go after it and get it. He's never been a proactive person, so it's unrealistic to expect him to start now. I'm such a proactive person, it drives me nuts to see folks wallowing in the misery of their lives, but not doing anything about it, and waiting to be "rescued". I just can't comprehend living that way.

Every week, Joe's occupational therapy is a $25 copay. It's adding up. He's not going to pay on that either, so I'm gonna have to find a way. sigh. It sucks, but ya know, I'm managing it. I have a roof over my head, and food on the table. I got what I need, and am making sure Joe gets what he needs. It's aggrivating and definately frustrating, but really, there are so many people who have it so much worse, what right do I have to whine??? I'd rather spend my time counting my blessings, like when Joe comes up to me and says "Huggie??" and holds his arms open......<smile> Just makes it worth it all.

Work is going well, continued training all yesterday afternoon. The person I'm training is getting it, learning it, but not yet confident in her ability. It won't take her long. She's just gotta get in there and work her accounts. The more she does that, the more confidence she'll gain.

Well, time to hit the road. Peace to all who read this.
Thanks for stopping by,
Curls
May 9, 2007 at 8:17am
May 9, 2007 at 8:17am
#507233
Best "Out of Office" Automatic e-mail Replies

1. I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to you
if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am
out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have
received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I am at the doctor's having
my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our
management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails
you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient and
your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged
$5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The e-mail server is unable to verify your server
connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart
your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that
when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this
over and over.)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a
queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect
to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please
wait by your PC for my response.

9. I've run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next 2 weeks for medical
reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Loretta' instead
of 'Steve'.

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