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I just want to let everyone know that I made it safely to the ground, lol. It looks like I will be leaving Florida for good in about two weeks. My family wants me to move back up to Michigan. Sheila is thrilled about getting a place with me when I come back. Which I think is weird given the fact that we didn't get along so well yesterday. I am going to assume that she's just frustrated with everything that has happened in the past week and a half. I can understand that.  I look forward to a new beginning. |
I leave my grandparents in about an hour. I will be glad when the plane ride is over with.  That is what I am nervous about. I hate planes. My grandparents are talking about coming down next week and helping me move back up to Michigan. I would like to move back to Michigan, I just didn't think it would be so soon. LOL. Grandpa Tom said it would be easier for them if I was up here, because they can help me out more with getting a place and a car. They want me to live at my dad's old place for a month, and then move in an apartment with my sister Sheila..........yeah.....the one that I got into a spat with yesterday, lol. Dad told me how she was the moody and cranky one all of the time. I guess her attitude is to be expected, because that's the way she's always been. I am excited and sad. My grandparents don't want me down in Florida with an abusive asshole like Jerry. I am willing to move back home to Michigan, I just thought I would have more than a week to gather my stuff and make sure that I have everything. We shall see. |
This is my last night in Michigan for awhile. Jerry is being a putz anyway. I can hold off getting home, lol. The only reason why I am anxious to get home is because of my kitty Max. I have missed him like crazy. He has been raising Hell for Jerry. Hee hee, I am very glad and proud of him, lol!  My sister Sheila and I got into a tiff over me going home. She said, "You don't need to be going home and living with Jerry. He cheated on you." First of all, he didn't cheat on me, and secondly we are broke up and don't intend on getting back together.........ever. I am not sure what bug crawled up her ass, but she needs to take a chill-pill. And what business is it of hers in the first place, or anyone's for that matter? I haven't any intentions of getting back together with him. We are not on good terms and probably never will be. He is too selfish and unfair to me. Always trying to point his fat finger at me and not looking at himself as part of the problem. My flight leaves tomorrow afternoon. It will be sad to leave my family so soon. I know that I will be back sooner or later. I am nervous about flying all over again.  |
Well, my cousin managed to scan some pictures of my dad. So I have made a new photo album dedicated to my father. I hope you enjoy.
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My estranged mother keeps calling me and my sisters every single day. She called me the day after dad's funeral. The conversation was going fine until she mentions things that happened in the past, drudging up stupid stuff that she did. She told me that even though she had many men while she was still married to my dad, and that he probably had many women too, but claimed she still loved him. Yeah right. I could've rung her neck in too. Then she claimed that she and my dad planned on getting back together and were going to get remarried. Yeah, right. In her dreams. Dad hated her, and would never have wanted her back. She must have been dreaming or something. I would like to committ her to the looney bin for the rest of her life. Let the state take care of her. I despise that woman and people don't understand why. I have every reason to disown her. I think that she is responsible for a big part of dad dying. Everything that she put me, my sisters, and dad through she deserves nothing. Then just lastnight, she calls my sister Molly and tells her that she thinks that she is getting part of dad's insurance money.  I have news for her. She isn't getting one red cent from dad's estate. Dad made me the beneficiary and I say where the money goes. Some of it will go to dad's funeral expenses and the other part of it will go towards bills and other things that need to be taken care of. She also tried to get a hold of me at my grandmother's house lastnight. Good thing I was out to eat with my cousin, sister Jill, and my grandparents. I would've drilled her a new asshole if she told me that she thought she was entitled to dad's money and belongings. Next time she calls, I am going to let her have it really good. I will also tell her not to ever call me again. She doesn't care that dad is gone, all she cares about is the $$$$$$. She has been divorced from dad for 15 years and thinks that she is going to get a piece of the insurance money? Ha! I can smell her bullshit from hundreds of miles away. She's not fooling me. Mom disgusts me. My sisters are feeling the same way as I am. All of them want to beat her up. My "mother" is an insensitive bitch and money-whore. My family was insulted at the very fact that she even had shown up. I called her out because she sat in the front row, and she happened to sit in the very seat that my grandfather was sitting in. She doesn't deserve to sit with the family. My family and I don't see her as family. Next time she calls I am going to tell her off, and disown her. |
The funeral went well the other day. It was a huge turn out. One hundred and sixty people showed up to see me and my family. I was touched at how many people had shown up for just me and my family. It was very sad and somber. My aunt Janine did the sermon, my aunt LouAnn did the eulogy, and my aunt Caroline (grandpa's sister) did a rememberance on behalf of my grandfather because he couldn't do it. I saw lot of people that I haven't seen in years. Even my high school algebra teacher came to the funeral, and I haven't seen him in almost 12 years! All of my family was there. I was particularily disappointed in my Uncle Tom because he never showed up. His excuse was that he couldn't deal with being there seeing my dad in that state. Part of me understands, and then part of me is very pissed off with him. I mean, that's his brother! How can you not show up at your own brother's funeral? It's insensitive and rude. He never shows up for any family events, and him not showing up for this is a very unforgivable offense. I understand that people deal with these things in different way, but this was ridiculous. Enough about uncle Tom. I am going to get angry if I don't stop talking about him. After the funeral and the get together, me, Melissa and Jason went to my father's house to pick up his truck because grandpa wanted to have it serviced for brakes and other things. I also needed to assess the house to see how much work we will have to do this weekend. It's pretty bad. I am very angry at my sisters for not helping my dad out more. They eat his food and even live there, and they never helped him at any time.  They still haven't determined the cause of death for my father yet. They examined every organ and couldn't find any obvious cause to his death. They didn't detect any organ failure. They did a physical examination, MRI, and xrays and couldn't find anything wrong. They have taken tissue samples from every part of his body and have to do blood and toxicology tests to determine what happened. I was also told that when his body released the urine it also had blood in it, along with what came out of his nose and mouth. All I know is that some freakish thing happened and all I want is to find out what went wrong. |
I made it safe and sound. I had to take two flights. The second plane that they put me on was one of those prop type planes. I hated it. It was making weird and loud noises, and then the landing sucked too. All that matters is that I made it here. I am now at my cousin Melissa is fashionably late! 's house. I got to meet my second cousins Ethan and Cameron. They are so cute!  I am so not looking forward to tomorrow. I never thought the next time I would see my dad is in a casket.  |
My flight leaves in about 2 hours from now. I am so nervous. I hate planes and flying. Hopefully all goes well. I have to take two flights to get home. I have only flown once. Jerry was with me at the time so it wasn't so bad, at least I wasn't alone. Once the plane was up in the air I was fine. I will let everyone know that I am fine when I arrive at Melissa is fashionably late! 's house. Assuming that I have internet use when I stay there.  |
| My flight to Michigan leaves tomorrow. I am dreading everything.........the flight, the crying, and most of all, the funeral. I will be staying at my cousin Melissa is fashionably late! 's house. I think that's sweet of her and Jason to put me up for a week like that. I didn't expect that. I hate flying. Hopefully the trip there and back here will be smooth and fast. I have most of my items packed in the suitcase, along with my carry-on bag. I will return to Florida on Halloween, and probably stay down here for two weeks, then move back to Michigan. I still don't want to go into dad's house. I still feel uneasy about that. Jill won't be living there any longer because she is traumatized from dad dying in the house. He died in the same room that she slept in. I can understand. My grandma, along with dad's friends Deb and Julie think that me and my sisters should live there, that way if we needed anything they would be 10-20 minutes away. I am not so sure that I want to live there. Too many memories, mostly good. Even the good memories make me cry. Grandma thinks that dad would want me to stay there. Sandie, my grandparents friend says that even if I don't want to go to dad's house, I have to because if I don't, I will never get over it or be the same. It will be good to see family even if it's not the greatest of circumstances. I finally got a hold of my sister Sheila, and she seems fine considering everything. My mom plans on going too. Jill told me that mom called our sister Molly the day after dad died, and asked her if my dad still had naked pictures of her. If there was ever a time that I wanted to belt her in the mouth it is now. I swear, if she causes my family any grief at the funeral, I will physically throw her out on her ass, and she won't be welcomed back into my life. |
| Well, I have decided to fly up to Michigan for the funeral rather than attempting to drive up. A friend of my grandparents made the flight arrangements. I will be arriving on Tuesday since the funeral is on Wednesday of this coming week. I will stay for a week and return on Halloween. I will rent a van when I get back to Florida and drive back up to Michigan with my cat and all of my other stuff. My family needs me and I can't take the risk of not making it on time. My cousin Melissa is fashionably late! 's husband Jason will be picking me up at the airport when I arrive home. My Aunt Janine will be doing the funeral. She is a priest at an Episcopal church in Detroit. My sister Jill said she would do the eulogy if Aunt Janine couldn't or didn't want to do it. I don't feel that I could get up there and say anything on behalf of my dad. I think I would do more crying than talking. Plus, I don't do well with public speaking, even though these aren't strangers, they're family. I still can't do it. Who knows, maybe I will say something. It depends on how I feel at the time. My sister Jill gave me details of what Sheila saw when she got back from the store. Dad had asked her to go get him something at the store. He was short of breath. I think he knew that he was dying and didn't want Sheila there to witness everything. When Sheila got back from the store she found dad lying under the computer desk with his face blue and blood streaming from his nose and mouth. She called 911 and administered CPR until the paramedics got there. They worked on him for an hour, they managed to get a faint heartbeat but it disappeared. Shortly after that, I get the shocking news from my sister Jillian about him passing. I still can't believe it. I don't want to believe it, I don't want my dad to be gone. If only he had taken better care of himself. Everyone tried to get him to go get medical care. Me, my sisters, and my grandparents all tried to talk to him about it, and he said the same thing everytime, "I'm fine." My dad is stubborn like that. I keep having images of him on the floor, suffering, and in pain. Then every so often I have these images of him in a casket. Then I start crying. I can't help it. I called Jill and tried to talk to her and she was in no mood for talk, which is understandable. The only sister that I haven't talked to is Sheila. With her finding dad the way he was I can understand why she wouldn't want to talk to anyone.Ever since Friday, I have been talking to my cousin Melissa is fashionably late! on the phone. I will probably call her today as well. She is just as upset as I am because my dad was a like father to her than her own father ever was. Talking to Melissa has been a big help. I have also been calling grandma everyday too, just to see how she's doing. I have been worried about her and grandpa ever since this happened. My dad always had a special place in grandpa's heart because he made so many sacrifices for me and my sisters through all the years. He always made sure that we had what we needed and we were always safe. He was ready to hop on a plane the very minute he found out that I was having seizures. He's always been there for me. I never had the chance to thank him for everything. I always thought I would have the chance to say how I feel about him. He was so young. He was less than 19 years older than me. I thought he would be around for a long time. He never led on that he was sick. Dad was always the type to hide things from us because he didn't want to burden everybody like that. I knew that something was wrong with him the day that he flew down to see me in August of last year. The whites of his eyes were yellow. I knew that something was wrong with his liver. I had questioned him about it asking him if he had seen a doctor about this. He claimed that he was okay and it will be fine, and sounded very neutral when he said it. When I saw him the second time when he flew down he looked a little better. When he came down for the first time last year, I had a bad feeling that this would be the last time I would see him alive. I tried to push that out of my mind beause I have an imagination that races and I worry all the time anyway.I know that the reality of my dad's death will hit when I go to the funeral on Wednesday. I am dreading this moment. |
| I never thought that this would happen to me in a million years. I am so stunned and so devastated, I can't even comprehend what has happened today. I get a call from my sister Jillian, all frantic and crying to me. She couldn't talk or even utter a few words to me. I asked her what was wrong. I have never heard Jill so upset in my entire life so I knew that it was something really bad. She said that it was about dad. I asked her what was wrong and she couldn't say the words to tell me. I asked if he died, and she told me yes, then I asked what happened. I don't want to go into details just yet because I am trying to digest everything that has happened. One moment I am fine, and then the next moment I am crying my eyes out. I don't know what to do. I am stuck down here. My grandparents friends called me and offered to fly me up to Michigan tomorrow, but I can't. I am not trying to be selfish or anything, but I was planning on moving home anyway, just not so soon. I figured if I need to go up there anyway, I might as well take all my stuff and Max with me. Just do everything in one shot. I will drive of couse. I haven't decided what I want to do yet. I can always fly up and then fly back down here and get my stuff. My stuff doesn't matter at this point anyway. The coroners came and picked up my dad and took him to Lansing for an autopsy. That will take a few days anyway. In the meantime, I think I am going to have to have someone take over the judging for my Newbie contest. I can't think of anything else right now. My dad was only 49 years old. |
| I am getting pissed off at Jerry. He has given me only 1 day to find a job, or get out. Like he has the right to just kick me out. I should probably warn him that every time he does something bad to me, something bad happens to him. I once told him after the break up that I hope every bad thing that could possibly happen to him, does happen to him. He didn't seem too pleased with that remark, lol. I truly believe in karma. I know that I will be avenged one of these days, only I won't have anything to do with it, God will see to it that I am safe and happy. In the meantime I am getting frustrated not hearing from my pending employment. |
| Well, I still haven't found a job. My deadline by Jerry was for me to have found a job by today. That didn't happen unfortunately. Jerry came home and saw the death look on my face and said, "I guess you didn't find anything." Gee, what gave him that idea? I got him to extend it by another week. I think. All I want is to get a job, save up and move the Hell out of here. I am completely over Jerry now. I just want to get out of here (when I can afford it), and move on with my life. I have come to accept everything that has happened. I know that I will be fine. |
| I have now made most of my items viewable only by Registered Authors and Higher Only. I have gotten way too many insulting and rude reviews from Registered Users. I got a total of 3-4 reviews from people on a particular poll, and they were anything but nice and 2 of them were 2.5 stars and 1.0 star. Maybe I can reduce the amount of jerks that view my items if I do this. The reviews wouldn't be as bad if they would at least point out some positives about the item, and not just the negatives. That is what makes a great review. Reviews that have only negative remarks are worthless to me, especially when they dish out insults and not give suggestions on how it could be better. Reviews like this are not worth acknowledging anyway and just get deleted. |
| I am tired of older men hitting on me. When I say older, I mean men that are around my parents age or older. I am flattered when an older guy finds me cute or attractive, but when they try to pick me up or attempt to make a pass, I get very creeped out. Date someone your own age already! Geez! Nothing like being dirty old men, is there? I am thinking that it was a mistake to post my picture on Yahoo!, because all of the weirdos and freaks are showing up. I even have on Yahoo! that I don't date men with children either. They still try to get with me. Why can't I find man that I can start fresh with? Why do I always get the hand-me-downs? I know that I am 30 years old and that most guys my age have children. It's no offense to the men with children, but I want a new and clean start. I don't want to have to take a backseat to a guy's life. If the guy has kids, then you will always have to deal with the ex-wife or ex-girlfriend. I don't have that strength. As if my life hasn't already been difficult enough. No thanks. I would rather stay single and alone. If I have to date a younger guy to get what I want out of life, that's what I will do. |
| I set up my Yahoo! 360 page. Please check it out: http://360.yahoo.com/geministar0613 |
First of all, I flew off the handle and jumped to conclusions this morning when I thought that Jerry's fuck-buddy had called. It was actually a church aquaintance that he works for asking him about his other job's schedule. Ooops!  When I saw the number and the name of the company on the caller id and then when she asked for Jerry it sounded like a really young voice, so I thought it was that girl. Plus. Jerry didn't correct me either when I got upset. So, part of it is his fault for making me think that. When he got up this morning, he told me, "By the way, you are very photogenic!" Then smiled at me. LOL. He found the pictures that I took the other day. He asked me if I ever considered modeling for Sears or some other department stores. He says I have that look. That's the nicest thing that he has said to me in a long time. Don't worry, it doesn't change anything between us. I am still leaving when I can afford it. |
| ARRRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I could just choke Jerry to death! He gave our phone number to his whore! We had an agreement that we wouldn't give that out to other people that we're dating. What will be next with this asshole? Bringing her here so he can screw her on the couch or worse yet, in the bed? She called just about 10 minutes ago, and I answered the phone. I feel dirty and gross because I had to talk to her and then hand Jerry the phone. I picked it up thinking that it was a job offer or something. Next time I see that number on the caller id, I will not pick it up. God I hate him, and I hate her even more! So far Jerry has broken every promise that he has made, and giving out our personal home number is the last straw. I just want to knock him flat on his ass for doing that. I could care less if he ran out of minutes, he can just wait until he has the money to replenish them and call her then. Well, I guess this means that I can do the same thing now. I will give all of my guy friends the home number and have them call me. I should start violating Jerry now, and do things that he hasn't done yet. Do them before he can do them to me. |
| Aren't I cute? Invalid Photo #1011214 Invalid Photo #1011213 Invalid Photo #1011212 Invalid Photo #1011211 Invalid Photo #1011210 Invalid Photo #1011209 |
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