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 |   All that remains: here in my afterlife as a 'mainstream' blogger, with what little I know. |
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The Idiotic Ideate?? Formerly: New Zenith To Hell…(all started with arc as writer here from the trials of Rising Stars to Preferred Author to WDC Quills Best Poetry Collection to the falling action I feel now that settles in a white case.) Got to hustle to preserve the best of me before fully fading on that virtual horizon glowing more brilliant with each passing day to permanent nuclear winter. if people don’t get it, I don’t need to explain it. We kill all that’s beautiful before we question it’s purpose. So many people find it easier to think in the black and the white. God forbid you get lost straying in the gray. "Whoever fights monsters should see to it…he does not become a monster.” I’ve been to the abyss and back. Not so bad. The loneliest happy person you'd ever meet, when not the saddest person who needs to be alone. In an ever-changing world, we need to handle topics at the ready. If you roll over and give in to the narrative without lending a voice of your own, you might as well hand over your civil liberties. We have voices that should connect to true conscience and spirit for honest and open discourse. Why feel so redacted? Unify on issues and put drama aside. Open minds require complete objectivity. If none need apply, question the unbendable sources for answer. If you knee-jerk react to every issue lurking out there that clutches your neck, you fall victim to your own ignorance born from a life of apathy (no doubt) in pathetic cries of injustice. Just writing what I feel without the narrative-altering mind f---ing with my head. [MY Chorus] In your house, I long to be Room by room, patiently I'll wait for you there, like a stone I'll wait for you there, alone "It amazed me how truth was often suffocated in minutes, but lies were given sufficient air to breathe indefinitely." "You are all better than you think you are, you are just designed not to believe it when you hear it from yourself." ![Merit Badge in Second Time Around Contest
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Congratulations on winning the Grand Overall Prize in [Link To Item #2164876] with your beautiful poem, [Link to Book Entry #933358]. This poem really moved me. Great writing!
Rachel *^*Heartv*^*](https://images.Writing.Com/imgs/writing.com/writers/badges/group-Second_Time_Around_Contest-2164963_14.gif)    "...lasting art is never anything more than a mathematical expression of the relations that exist between the internal and the external, the self [le moi] and the world." -Jean Metzinger I'm in love with carefully chosen words, arranged just so, audible, edible, to inhale. I attempt to post new poems and epiphanies daily with some links to what inspires. I am legally blind with a rare, genetic form of glaucoma. I'm described as "end stage" after two successful surgeries, still subject to further vision loss. Cataracts complicating matters. Writing Can get strenuous but seldom deters what yearns to emerge, despite a documented history of depression and recently diagnosed ADHD and undefinable social disorders and/or PTSD. My recent poetry:
Sometimes epiphanies about my insights on writing and life and what goes on... Making sense of life is maddening. Why do I need to know, when truth may not actually exist? Learning to accept would be a better pursuit? Flailing about in my own mediocrity, hoping to bust out. I am visible. You can put a face with a name. I would like to see other writers, too. Fiction is what you write, not who you are. Reinventing myself. I couldn't continue on the path I was on and needed a fresh start. This time around I want to put the focus on writing and the world outside of this community as it affects my life. I realize now that I have been baring my chest a bit more, as when young. fake me much more boring and unliberated than the real me. A world arriving as silent as that blossom in your garden that I told you about... |
| "Brian, why are you here?" "Oh, hey Joe." "You're not on the guest list." "Is there hors d'oeuvres?" "Did someone invite you? How'd you know about this party?" "Oh, I've always known. It's not a big secret." "But, you're not supposed to be here. You weren't invited." "You know, Joe, you need to relax. This party needs me." "Stephan! Stephan! Come here. Come-come, I said, come-over-here! Aahhgghh! "Yes, what is it you want boss?" "Did you let him in?" "Who, dis guy. Yeah, why not? He's big man on campus, no?" "He wasn't invited." "Oh, that is impossible. Look! Everyone here knows him and they are having a good time." "Fine. Go on! I'll take care of this myself." "Brian, hey! Brian! Geez, why do I have to do this?" "Oh, hey Joe. Still waiting on those hors d'oeuvres. But none of that pate crap." "I'm kicking you out. You're not preferred." "Joe, settle down bud. You're killing the vibe in the room. Besides, you need me." "I don't need you. No one needs you." "Listen, I think everyone here begs to differ. Just relax. It's a party. Did you forget?" "Last warning, pal!" "Hey! Easy on the threads. That's genuine silk." "Oh, that looks expensive. Sorry. Look..." "Okay, tell ya what I'm gonna do. Let's be reasonable. I've got a bottle champagne in my car. We can celebrate." "Sure, sure Brian. You do that. Hahaha. Go out to your car. Okay, fine. Stephan. Psst!" "Yeah, boss. Did you pssst at me?" "I need you to go over and lock--the--doo-oor. Ya think you can handle that? Huh?" "But, Joe. Not everyone is here yet." "Just do it!" "Okay, if that's what you want." "Everybody! Can I have your attention! Can you, ah, turn that music down for a minute. Just for a minute. O-kayyyy? Thanks. Alright, we're heading to the rear ballroom. Fun and prizes!" "Oooo-aahh!!!" "Yeah, it's gonna be loads of fun. Steph, you lock us in?" "Yeah." "Kill the lights." "Everybody, we're going to hang back here for a bit." "Where's the games?" "Yeah, and the prizes?!" "Coming. It's a little early. Just--let's just be quiet, for awhile." "Yeah, Joe? Why?" "Brian!" "Surprised to see me? Hey, everyone! I made it! Champagne?" "WhoHoo! Brian, you're the man!" "Who's got cups?" "I want some. Oh, yeah!" "Me, too. Gimme!" "Geez, what do I gotta do to get rid of this guy?" "Boss, I don't know what your problem is. He's been around a long time and people like him. Look." "Yeah, I know. He'll just spoil everything." "What? Afraid he'll get all the attention? You let more guys in like that and this place will be cooking." "Whatever, I'm going upstairs. I got a headache and I need to code 4 Terabyte of something, or update my virus software. Just...clean up." "PARRTTTYYY!!" "BRIIIAANNN!" "Brian! Brian! Brian!" "Let's pump those jamz!!" "Ain't no party without BK in the hizzy!" "Can you believe that guy. Thanks, Steph!" 9.7.20 498 words
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| We can vilify and dehumanize a person before acknowledging they're human and prone to err. When in a position of public service, we expect the best from them. The public might be quick to judge in some instances how they conduct themselves. It does not make excuse for their resulting behavior; but if they are genuinely good people, its unfortunate their lives are sacrificed for a larger cause (or greater good) that tramples them in its wake. And you have to wonder again about justice; if we are too quick to convict, at least without knowing all the information and the true hearts of caring individuals. Again, not a defense but a call for objectivity, which even the media struggles with nowadays. Journalism is akin to gossip rather than serving the public hungry for information. Maybe, trying to get a jump on all the media sources out there. Get ahead of a public that is ready to type and hit send on those social media buttons before fully comprehending in this cancel culture, dehumanizing process that self-convicts a race of people... https://www.kenoshanews.com/news/local/snapshot-bike-cop-serves-community-throug... "What I like most is that you’re dealing with people on perhaps the worst day of their lives and you can try and help them as much as you can and make that day a little bit better. And that, for the most part, people trust us to do that for them. And it’s a huge responsibility, and I really like trying to help the people. We may not be able to make a situation right, or better, but we can maybe make it a little easier for them to handle during that time. We’re in a public service job, a customer service job, and the public is our customer. I think that, especially with the officers that we have here, everybody strives to make sure that the public feels served and happy with the services they receive. A lot of officers go way out of their way to make sure that that’s done. … I think the KPD really embraces that." Rusten Sheskey. Kenosha bike cop, 2019 It seems the folks in Kenosha are disillusioned by what is happening in their town, as if they cannot stem the tide of this anger that has swept through their community... https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/kenoshians-face-wake-up-call-after-tumultuous-... I may post more later. Still perusing Sunday articles and other items that pique my interest. |
| I had a funny thought on a Shakespeare line that I misquoted in my head. If you cut me, do I not cut you back? But the quote from Merchant of Venice is: "Hath not a Jew hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer, as a Christian is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh?" Imagine, me being flip and getting half the expressed quote wrong in my parody? Does not come across well, then. Can I not just have one perfect memory to store all these clips from the past to alter for my pleasure? Yeah, I'm not going anywhere with this today. |
| It turns out that both coffee and alcohol can help your brain with productivity...in moderation. I mean, coffee? Duhhh. But, alcohol? Who knew? https://www.jotform.com/blog/caffeine-alcohol-on-productivity/ As to my own self, coffee was a late participant in my life. I was ridiculed at one employer in the 90s as 'not a morning person, huh?' Granted, it wasn't the most stimulating work. But, it recalled a similar experience when I worked as a journalist in radio. A PR guy from the paper mill in town, after concluding a phone interview, pointed out I 'sound like you just got out of bed' when I did my first news report at six a.m. I had to up my game after that, if people who are a part of the news are listening and started getting up earlier. Back then, I was 'using' Coca-cola (better not say Coke) to get me self going in the a.m. But alcohol, yes I should have known. You have always been there for me. All the odes alone at night written with Boone's Farm wine. Help me, I was a poor, college student who had yet discovered the finer things in life. I could sit in my dorm room and pen my odes to some unrealized love or the moon and could feel deep connections to other-worldly feelings where my imagination seeped in psyche. So, definitely, alcohol gets a mention in my whenever-it-shall-be-written-and-then-published novel, as an inspiration. But, these two in moderation? If I have to realize what each does to me when I go off the deep end. Coffee will give me the jitters and I get ahead of myself and cannot compose my thoughts at a pace my mind can comprehend. It can be quite unpleasant and I have to do things to settle down. Detox. Whereas alcohol, we know more than a few drinks induces 'sleepy time' and the fights with windmills. Everything from 'I'm going to get my son back' to 'I think I can fly.' Wait, am I still talking about alcohol? Oh, no. Drugs, you weren't invited to this conversation. Well, you sort of were. Your cousins, anyway. Maybe, for another time. I'll tell you about climbing that one hundred foot pine (yes, that thick-branched, sappy tree) and all the people standing below from the wedding reception I crashed begging me to climb back down. Daring. So, in summation. Wait. Ahhhhh, coffee all gone. Maybe, another time. 8.28.20 No edits. But.... I said, NO EDITS! additional note: I will just say that I like that my palms don't hit the touch pad while I type anymore. You know, where it quickly highlights a block of text and then a keystroke wipes out all the blue highlighted characters before you can stop. I know there is a restore function...if you're doing it on a word doc of some kind, but not on these tempting dialogue boxes. I'm writing live without a net, baby! Yeah, dumb, I know...if you want to save or store stuff. But, you see. I don't know how far I'm going to go and then I get deep in, and Bam! I do stop to copy and save when I get in deep and start thinking, 'don't lose this.' It doesn't happen too often. Maybe twice a month or week? I don't know. I do some writing in docs and then copy and paste here and then edit some more and think I should copy and paste this to the document of the first part, and by then, I'm so tired of going back and forth, switching screens and trying to find the other and figure out where I left off that I..just...give....up. Is all this writing worth it? Is this the grist of life that we seek to transpose and illuminate an otherwise unsuspecting and unaware world? I thought...zzzzz |
by Brian K. Compton (this article as yet under review) Honesty is rare but not something sought or coveted until needed. And even then, we stand back from its glare. Reviewing is a double-edged sword. Cliché. Here we have writers who share and get critiqued for their efforts. But, what's on the other side of that door (cliché) is a bit daunting. How will the community receive us: like, dislike, ignore? So, when I see the responses (or lack thereof) to my reviews, it's a gambit. Some are pleasant and appreciate with their takeaways, some are short and thankful, some put on defenses that range from short to point-by-point reasons, some just seem like the obligated acknowledgement. No one really goes off on me. I see it restrained in some backbiting comments that could be taken two ways. I honestly get it. If I see someone review my work in a way that does not convey what I intended, I can have a knee jerk reaction. But, don't. Writers should do themselves the favor of actually trying to see it from the reviewer's perspective. It can be hard if it is words that contradict what we thought our efforts are worth, or about. Perhaps, visualizing how others see us is a step toward progression and maturity as a writer. That is the audience. What is the audience saying? Is it syncing up with other reader's thoughts? Chances are there is not a large enough sample size. Perhaps, writers here have gotten use to having smoke blown up their ass from all the false flattery. Try to separate from the people trying to massage more participation from you and look objectively at what has been given to you as an honest review. You still don't have to agree after you've taken the time to assess. You just need to get over yourself. I've been learning and am still learning. Sometimes, it takes the simplest person to help you understand the basics, the foundation of what you offer as writing. Perhaps, we get too deep into our minds to realize writing is not just about us. In fact, it is intended for people to see. I'm not saying give people what they want. Figure out what it is you do that draws them in and that they appreciate best. Look at those suggested weaknesses and wonder if there was something you could have done better that would have made your talent for writing sing a little sweeter. We don't come with these built in tools for conveying storytelling into words. Hopefully, we all went through a vetting process before allowed to graduate from some institution that taught about critical thinking and processing everything into forms of understandable communication. Writing hasn't been around as long as the ability to verbalize, if even just a grunt. Maybe, you don't like how reviewers grunt. They might seem too gruff, direct to the point. They don't spend enough time dancing around the 'I think', 'I suggest' or 'I suppose' lead ins, but rather 'I didn't like' or 'you should' do something about this or that. You don't have to respond to reviews. You should consider, even if briefly, what the reviewer is trying to get across. Of course, they don't know enough about you to make an informed opinion. They're going off one evidentiary block of writing. They don't know you, yeah. There you go. If you do acknowledge a review, try to realize why they shared. Was it incentivized? Did they mail it in, perhaps only skimming or reading the first few lines? Or, was it someone who shows knowledge of what you offered and can convey it in words? Did it sting just a little? Did it make you want to write off a missive in retaliation? Don't shrink from it. Own it, let is pass through. These are normal things to consider, and normal responses. How we act on it and utilize it to make us better writers is what is most important. You might be lucky to get any attention at all. If you are a newbie or preferred member and higher, it's easier to draw attention. If you are 'other', then you likely work at self=promotion a lot more. Perhaps, the more you ply for attention, the more prone you feel to a heightened awareness by readers to intensely read and respond to your writing when you were just hoping to share something you love. You might be involved in community activities that keep you in inner circles where you have core followers who you follow back. All good. Whatever it takes to get noticed, a reviewer at your door is always a good thing. Eventually, it will give something we can use, even if rare. Even if it feels phoned in, you might notice something common in all that fluff. In summation, my takeaway from reviewing in this community is don't be discouraged, as a writer or reviewer. Read and respond to what you like foremost. The obligation is to your craft first. If people see something good in us that can be better, broaden your horizons if you desire. And hopefully, even more and better attention will keep coming back to your door. 8.27.20 How do you like to respond to a review? What is a common response you get from your review? |
| Torn between going Premium with my account one more full year or making my gift points last two on this planet. I don't plan to add more statics or deliberately add to my stash of crypto. But, I could go out like a bang and upload everything I've written offsite. All the thoughts that I never dared share. Or, just keep it to myself and ride this wave out. I do this nearly every year. I don't get a nudge from anyone either way. It's like I really don't exist. *pinch* Nope, felt that. Just a dark reality. TOP 35 ALL-TIME Writing.Com AUTHOR: Rank 32nd, 8/2020 BLOG: "SuperNova Afterglow: End Of Days"  POETRY BLOG: "Life’s Little Misdirections 🥀🦋" 2020 WDC Heart Throb Poet Most Talented Author 2011  2009 North Star Award eternally dead in this world |
| For Sunday, I'm reading and learning about a strange movement that apparently intensified during the pandemic, using fear as a motivator to get people interested. https://www.nytimes.com/article/what-is-qanon.html Until today, never heard of QAnon and their strangely tabloid style of rhetoric for whatever reasons. Just makes me think of a creative Reddit thread, and odd that I don't see that website attached to QA. if 4Chan or 8Chan or whatever it is now had a plan to compete with Reddit, I image this might be a way to start. But, they've had to keep folding and moving around for whatever reasons. I'm reminded of Jon-Rene Ramsey and the allegations of what could have been her ritualistic demise to Satanists in Colorado 20-some years ago. Or, the reports that the rich and famous went to an island to have relations with teenagers. All of that could be fuel for some sick fantasy-like interactive storylines being played out to see how far they can move the meter on public conversation. It's no doubt intriguing to read about and worthy of further investigation, but to say government officials are drawn into this war on alleged Satanic pedophiles within the Democratic party is as far fetched as UFOs. Hmm? I'm not getting immersed in the rhetoric, just the knowledge of what all this "Storm" reference was about today in the news, pitting party against party somehow. Republicans say it's a biblical reference to Psalm 29 while others cast doubt, referencing alignment with the QAnon movement hungry since Trump's acknowledgement of their movement in 2017. |
| I don't have a sad tune in my heart today. I think I'm done feeling pity for all the fools who would let people manipulate them into doing things that are supposed to upset me. This endless manipulation of human souls only wears people thin who just want to get on with the business of writing. I'm uniquely attuned to the psychology of it, am aware of it. So, no to sad tunes. No to nostalgic, warm feelings of yesteryear and what could have been. They who control the narrative have the story collapse on them in the end. The audit is coming. Took a nap. My kid had online high school orientation on my computer, so i took a break. Just checking my internet email inbox for a response to my query, if it every comes. |
| question is, Writing.Com: do you want this bee in your bonnet? Because my stinger is sharpened and I'm ready to get after it. pollinate? maybe, the expression should be yellow jacket? My dad was a lot of things to me: withholding, arrogant, indifferent, a manipulator, abuser, martyr, biggest critic, gaslighter... I had one thing he didn't have...the inability to know when to quit. to turn green like a monster. when i had enough of him, I sat on that man and hit him in the head until he shut up and got off my back forever. and now he's dead and i still have a whole lot of angst to unload on gaslighters and manipulators who think they are clever enough to put me down while trying to crawl up inside my head. I know all the rules of your game. You never met anyone like me. Bring it. And that's coming from a top 5 writer. Ask around. Oh, that's right. She only comes around and emails me about it. Yeah, I could repost all those emails. I made a folder. It would be a fun adventure into the mind of a manipulator. Is that you dad? The audit is coming. |
| A cautionary tale that has seen a path blazed since the rise of Silicon Valley to modern day (in some regards, a new Grapes of Wrath)... Even the internet isn't a safe place anymore... Hollywood Is Dying, possibly a slow death. Expedited by a virus and maligned by one quote stood out from the article I'm about to link: “They don’t make movies; they make hats and whistles.” https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2017/01/why-hollywood-as-we-know-it-is-already- Something to think about going forward. There will be a noticeable shift in the makeup of our world, the economy and entertainment we choose. It's likely we'll all have greenbacks to clutch, as most of us will also adjust. Maybe, some new career options? We have to watch where the big investors place their bets and see what trends play out. But, dropping all that dough in a stuffy, crowded theatre suddenly doesn't seem like an industry that can fully support itself anymore. The costs to produce these epic films and risk venture capital to see flop after flop after disaster would mean Hollywood has to go in some new directions, team up with some unlikely folks (we are trying to get Netflix on the line) and see how they can virtually survive. Five major studios...scramble! It's go time! The newspaper and magazine industries went near belly up, what are you going to do now?! Okay, I've got $20 extra dollars, assuming I can get popcorn and a soda, who wants to entertain me? *watch*  8.14.20 Brian K. Compton is a respected journalist and an eye for current events oozing with an ever-so-dramatic twist. Sadie Saxton could be his spirit animal. You're Welcome! |
| I relate to this, partly why I continue as a member of this community... "At some point in the past, some characters have had a traumatic experience, found themselves dishonored, committed a crime they could not repay, lost everything worth living for, caught an incurable disease or just became bored with continued existence. For whatever reason, rather than turning to suicide, they went off seeking battles to fight, hoping to find an enemy who would kill them, and achieve an honorable, heroic, awesome, or otherwise acceptable death, sometimes going as far as outright surrendering and offering their life to their enemies. Martyrdom Cultures may regard such a character as a role model, even if upon closer examination he or she might seem like a Martyr Without a Cause. In cases of cruel Irony, Death Seeker characters who snap out of it and find something to live for often end up dying or getting killed shortly afterwards anyway. Compare Heaven Seeker, when a heroic death is viewed as a means of being rewarded in the afterlife, and Suicide by Cop, where one engineers a scenario where someone else (it doesn't necessarily have to be a cop) will kill them. Contrast Immortality Seeker, for those utterly dedicated to avoiding death. Compare and contrast Not Afraid to Die, where someone is definitely unafraid of death but isn't actively seeking it out, and Worth Living For for something or someone who pulls a Death Seeker out of this mentality. Likely to cause a Threat Backfire to any death threat, for obvious reasons. These characters are, however, prone to Revenge by Proxy. See also Miles to Go Before I Sleep and Suicide by Assassin. Some immortal characters who contracted a bad case of Who Wants to Live Forever? may also become Death Seekers if they know of one hard-to-obtain way for them to get a peaceful death." Not that I seek death in totality. I need to either become that hero or die with this craft of writing. But come to think of it, this is no place to start that summit. I'm in hiding. This is the hole in the center of the universe of writing, a kind of purgatory where writers go to delude or punish themselves for not trying. I can commune among monsters that can't taste my flesh and feel nothing to fear. So, yeah. Maybe, this doesn't apply. This is just an ongoing dream of mediocrity I'm in bed with. I have an urge to binge 'Rick and Morty' now. https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DeathSeeker |
| https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-science-idUSKBN2492YG It does what now? To the brain? It's an old article. Not surprised I missed it, or got buried in an internet stack of thousands of articles of it's kind I want to break the internet every time I see another Coronavirus story that make me want to become a hypochondriac. These researchers releasing results before publishing in medical journals make me want to crawl up a wall and sit atop a lampshade. Everybody repeat after me: "Covid19 gives you cooties!" Okay? Class dismissed. We get it. We don't want to get this virus. If we do, consult a physician, not all of these unsubstantiated articles floating around. Is there a disinformation warfare going on out there in this political season? What is going on, world? We go from hydroxychloroquine as remedy to gotcha! We have the don't wear masks. No, wear masks. Now, we're not allowing masks here, we're mandating masks there. We have some hand sanitizers made with chemicals that could kill you. What's the current count on the number of symptoms associated with the virus? A screener essentially asked me today in one question, 'Do you got it?' 'Nope.' 'Okay, head on in.' It can affect your heart, your lungs, internal organs, and probably long term or life long. We'll see. If you did get it, well you might get it again. You see, they're not positive, but maybe those immunities are not permanent. More like, they'll last about 12 weeks. Allllssssoooo, if you have the right blood type, Hey, you're less susceptible; the wrong kind, and you're more likely to succumb (sorry A types  ). And, in case you've forgotten: it's airborne, people!But that's not all... If you bite on a bullet after an old Western doc ties a bandana around an open wound, letting you've suck down a shot of grain alcohol he used to sterilize, you're still likely to get Covid19. In fact, the last projections has 80% of our country suffering from it before next spring. And, while we're not bunkering like we did before it got this bad, because restaurants gotta make a buck and money makes the world go round, even in a pandemic, I'm sorry, where was I going with this? Yeah, we're screwed! Gawd Wall Street, take a break! You too, NBA, MLB and NHL. Am I leaving anyone out? I know Vegas suspending betting...on college sports. Do you know if they are taking any bets on Tesla mass producing affordable cars anytime? Hmm? Seriously, we're going to ignore fuel cell tech over plug-in autos that draw energy from coal and nuclear power plants? Well, it's sort of a step in the right direction. But seriously, to all the agoraphobics, people who got evicted for lack of rent money or street skills, hermits, 20-somethings still shacking up with ma and pa; I feel your pain. Well, not the hermits. I really can't imagine living like that, but maybe writing a really sweet manifesto! We have western medicine at our side and they're doing the best they can; but WHO fucked up, the CDC got gagged, Donald Trump is playing some kind of disinformation game where he contradicts every position his advisor Dr. Fauci takes. Trump fires like half his cabinet every day but not White House mouth pieces (including Birx) with unquestionable medical degrees posted on every wall wherever they roam for inspection (got a sweet deal at Kinkos, no doubt). They are undeterred in their medical proclamations. What's that all about? Oh, I'm going to add more to this rant in the morning before I link in newsfeed. Eeeeverybody is going to love me playing WDC ace news hound (yet again) with another insane bit of rambling about our current virus crisis.  |
| I've now begun the process of editing two books of poetry to self publish. I know I am not up to the task, but forcing myself to begin. I titled the books, but won't name since I will likely change. I know what I want each to be filled with. There are two defined sides to my writing, both freeverse. I want one book to be about my sensitivities as they relate to people who struggle with oppression, self-worth and overcoming manipulation. It gets dark and heavy and isn't altogether pretty. Ironically it is not the title of the other book, which is temporarily titled, "Beauty Has Thorns." In that, it's nature poetry. It's not necessarily sunny day, walk my puppy or kiss the girl. Though, it will have elements of that with introspection. I think I'll leave out cutesy or humorous for a third book. That would take more poems to fill. The process has got me crafting two new poems to start already. I felt a forward was necessary for one and it turned into a poem. I will not produce those poems here. I've plenty of content on display. It's really necessary to start building myself up as a writer in the real world, separate from this pond. I've not been diligent in the process of putting myself out there, though I was told to submit for years. After I took a writing class in 2018, I knew I had to join the wine and cheese set. I was about to put the other foot forward this year when Covid19 happened. I think I just need to keep doing for me. It means shit is going to get real. I need to stop acting a pushover and name my bullies and opponents one by one until each dragon is slayed. I will overcome obstacles as a legally blind writer who struggles with, as yet diagnosed, attention deficit disorder and other learning disabilities. Add this inner rage that keeps my nose to the grindstone and I could be a monster worthy of being chased by villagers will torches and pitchforks. Not to worry, though. I have a civil tongue, not ignorance. I will have my moments again. I will be quick to rage and act uncomfortably on anger. This process of trying to produce worthy writing since joining WDC in 2006 has been an eye-opening process. I just need to persevere, right or wrong in my judgments going forward. I value myself just a little bit more. 8.12.20 edit later |
| What's not being discussed here? https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/florida-sheriff-forbids-staff-visitors-from-we... Police around the country don't want people wearing masks inside their buildings, number one. And why? For Transparency. Some people could do it to conceal identity. There has been noted concern among law enforcement that behind the scenes that groups like Antifa have been up to something. There has been the riots and whether the 'anti-fascist,' or anarchist group, has sparked some violent outbreaks. There was concern in July plans were afoot involving the fourth. Leading up, police were getting a lot of false calls at departments in less densely populated areas around the country. It was assumed an attempt to judge police response time. There have been incidents where officers were dispatched to locations, outnumbered and ambushed. I think what police departments are weighing, and allowing factor in their judgments in dealing with this pandemic, is people planning organized attacks with mask rules. While it is obviously safer to be protected with face coverings, there is growing fears about safety among masked marauders. Who hasn't wondered why more banks or robberies haven't occurred. Just something I cobbled together on a whim. Further reflection on this later, or not. I do this news analysis thing my way. Especially, since I don't really have much of an audience with this blog. I could go to blogger or WordPress or something. I don't have time to get irons in every fire. 8.12.20. |
| Sorry, you can't get away with being chic or trendy during this pandemic. You best bet at a personal statement is making your own cloth mask. https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/wearing-a-neck-gaiter-may-be-worse-than-no-mas... |
| Another BKC (dis)jointed write In other news and very concerning: a 90% increase in Covid among children? https://www.msn.com/en-us/health/medical/covid-19-cases-in-us-children-have-incr... I remember when my mom locked the doors on our house after a murder-suicide went down two blocks away when I was a kid. Sure, us 10-year-olds could gather and watch in an abandoned lot across the street while cops surrounded the shooter's home. But with the threat gone, the world was a different place for a short time that summer. Now we have a virus that is spreading rapidly, known to be deadly. Let's go to the Mexican restaurant and order from that big plastic menu with about a hundred entrees to choose from, you have to flip through the pages a hundred times. We got our state required masks. Wore them the negotiable 20 feet to the table. Nope, no killers in here while we suck down a pitcher of Strawberry Margarita, heavily laced with Tequila. WTF? Nope, don't lock the doors. Go out, business as usual. Don't change your ways. Forget to wash you hands until after you put something in your mouth when your plate of Chile Rellenos-covered burritos arrive. Mmmmm, community bowl of chips, with guac and salsa to dip. Yummm, I'm all buzzy. Let the kid drive us home and I'll sleep it off. What's summer good for, if we have to stay locked up inside? Let's make plans for our vacation. That virus should be gone by Spring Break. Uh-huh. So sick of being told what to do. I'm going out there. Hell, I might not wear a mask. But if I do, I'm going to get my grubby fingers all over it. And then, I'll touch other stuff and watch those people with spray bottles wiping down every surface behind me. Fools! Don't they know virus can't go through walls? I'll be sick when I'm dead. You're dead to me, bud. I especially enjoy hearing people say, if one of us gets the virus, let's all get infected with it at the same time and get it over with. Uh-what? You know it's deadly, right? Even people my wife works with in healthcare, who are used to these flu-like scenarios, say that. I'm thinking, okayyyy, but you might get stuck with that shit forever like Herpes. You really want to mess with a bad MF disease that will get inside your cavity, with heart and lungs, and hope you got The DNA to drill it down? You want to carry that shit with you the rest of your life, not acknowledging it could be shortening your stay on this planet? Ignorance. It's everywhere. They do not investigate or consider all the details. People need labels on things, because they cannot function with subjective truths. They need things to fit in their bewildered brains, tidy little boxes. If you can't figure it out, blissful ignorance is your indifferent friend. We have to mill around people like that. No wonder I feel suffocated when I'm dining with my in-laws to celebrate their 50th and wondering how clean the chairs are at our table. Or, how do they disinfect these menus with binding that feel a bit tacky. I'm breathing the same air as everybody else still, but we're not worried about that despite recent reports of how the coronavirus spreads? Oh, you got tested and you don't have it. Yeah, you're Superman. Okay, let's go out there and try again. The gym is still closed and they don't want me there. Some people know. They take your temperature at the hospitals, clinics and dentist office, but that's just precautionary. Have they really denied admittance to anybody? You're all Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, to all their screening questions. I ain't got nothing, now get outta my way. I have an appointment and I didn't come early enough for this. Mask it, touch it, touch mask, touch it, adjust mask again, touch other parts of face and anatomy/clothes, touch more surfaces, the mask isn't on tight and air leaks in everywhere, and touch, touch, touch and out again. Oops, forgot to sanitize. Oh, well. I'll do it as soon as I get home. Touch car door handle. Touch seat. Touch steering wheel and gear shift, and what the heck, radio. Adjust clothes, mirrors, touch this and that and face after remembering to take mask off after getting on the road. Get home and touch every thing on way in through door and, oooo, what's in the fridge? Touch, touch, touch, and hey kids, touch, touch and back to my food, and oops, forgot to wash my hands. Soap, rinse five seconds, towel off and eat...and die. That about right? Note to self: get the kids tested. They won't like having a swab in their nostrils. At least, they don't shove it up high anymore. Wonder if we can get them a cheek swab? Right, the NFL and other pro sports probably locked down all those kits. Anyway, the kids seem fine. It'll come back negative...or false negative. Whatever. When's school start? I'm sure we can squeeze in another visit to the in-laws before end of summer. Yes! Microwave burrito. Hmmm, might need another trip for groceries. No salsa. 8.11.20 News Unedited Brian Keith Compton is an award-winning journalist (seriously), who hasn't been tooting his horn loud enough, apparently. But, that's okay, he has three colorful broadcasting awards in a box somewhere in the attic and memories of articles in print in various newspapers, magazines and journals at various points of his journalistic life (vacated after losing vision to glaucoma). He moines these little tidbits from the internet and around the world, applying his own homespun sensibilities to the offerings. Now on his own, with little aspiration, an active retiree of several aspects of writing, but apparent master of none. And that's the realistic aspect of his condition. |
| Now that Russia claims to have a vaccine and is using it on important dignitaries, I thought I would use my old conspiracy theory noggin and do some digging to see if the Kremlin has been linked to any conspiracies involving the virus. Because, my first thought was, how could they competently come up with a vaccine that would take 18 months (without fast-tracking) to produce? That is, unless they created Covid19 and were developing the vaccine at the same time. Call me crazy, but the pissing war between the US and China would serve as the perfect distraction. I found an article, sort of related, but with info that would suggest Russia has been spreading misinformation on it's own. Sorry, disinformation (the difference?). The focus of the article was on the 5G development race and another theory putting Anti-Vaxxers in the mix. Russia was lagging on cellphone technology and apparently looking at ways to catch up with the leading competition. I'm thinking the motive to create the vaccine is overlooked by the author, but intriguing, nonetheless. Read with your own eye. I'm just reading a bit between the lines with some intrigue at how countries are currently at each others throats for world domination through enterprise. It's a different kind of war that could include this kind of chemical warfare. Who would cheat the most to get ahead? Hmm? Redirect your attention to that Putin guy, seemingly harmless, flying under the radar. https://allianceforscience.cornell.edu/blog/2020/04/anti-vaxxers-and-russia-behi... Nyet? |
| Find this interesting, in light of the U.S. President having signed an executive order to minimally extended jobless benefits. It's not to incentivize people to redecorate their dens, but rather return to work. How the big July jobs report affects the 2nd big coronavirus stimulus package Fire up the grill... The July jobs report came in hot Friday. The country eagerly awaited to learn whether economic recovery continued, slowed or reversed in the face of rising COVID19 cases. Before that, let's take a walk down memory lane: • April 2019: The only masks we've ever worn are charcoal face masks, and the unemployment rate is 3.6%. • April 2020: Lockdowns hit. The US economy loses a record 20.5M jobs, and unemployment hits 14.7% (a post-WWII high). • May: The US shockingly adds 2.5M jobs and unemployment dips to 13.3%. Customized face masks are in (and finally, in ample supply). • June: The US adds back 4.8M jobs as lockdowns ease and businesses reopen. Unemployment falls to 11.1%. Then, COVID cases surge again (and some businesses re-close). • The big July report: US employers added 1.8M jobs and unemployment fell for the 3rd month straight to 10.2%. The economy chugged a celebratory (light) beer. Which pill, Neo?... Despite positive momentum, the US still hasn't quite refilled half of the 22M jobs lost since the March downturn. The extra $600/week unemployment benefit, which has been propping up consumer spending ran out last month. So far, Congress has failed to agree on details of the 2nd Stimulus Package. On Friday, President Trump signed executive orders in an effort to force action: • #1: Enhance unemployment benefits with an extra $300/week federal booster. • #2: Suspend payroll taxes for anyone earning $100K/year or less. • #3: Defer federal student loan payments and temporarily forgive interest. THE TAKEAWAY Everyone's confused, and we can't afford to waste time... Republicans think generous benefits will disincentivize people from returning to work — Democrats believe the jobs aren't there to return to, so $3.5T in aid is needed to support people while containing the virus. Congress controls federal spending, so Trump's executive orders (which are loaded with federal spending) could get sued in court. With all this uncertainty, one thing remains clear: the virus controls the economy, and it's still out of control in the US. What I'm getting from all this is you can cheat the government. I've heard stories of people milking those unemployment benefits for that sweet weekly bump over going back and help their employers get back on their feet. Consider, many businesses have struggled how to be fiscally responsible and operate with the virus, keep employees (and public) safe to earn enough money to float. Consider also tricky public consumption altering the situation, so that call up to come back and work wasn't always being responded to. I've heard just this weekend of people who finally milked that teat dry, then couldn't get their jobs back because their bosses had to move on. That means during this pandemic, to remain functional, businesses also had the task of training new staff. It stands to reason; when I walked into a buffet (yes, I did!) and there were no clean tables, no one at the register, the buffet was not resupplied and messy work stations throughout. Do you suppose no one wanted to come back to work? Did this restaurant have green newbies who couldn't comply with job demands? It was not a safe or good dining experience. *record scratch* There are so many pieces to the puzzle we can't fathom yet. It's clear to me the government is trying to stimulate the economy without overincentivizing workers to stay home. I thought $600 additional weekly benefits was a bit much. How many people do you think will save about 40% of that windfall to pay back next April? More economic crises looming? Reducing the weekly benefits will help businesses maintain staffing that can still work up to half or their original hours without losing jobless benes. From what I've heard, employees aren't finding the same pay or as many hours at their old job as they had in March. It's clear the government did more harm as hero rescuing a nation and wants to be more responsible this time around. Why not just tell people they won't be taxed on a lower benefit amount? No double jeopardy. Tell the nation, we want you to work and take our money? Notice Trump's executive order does not carry the individual payouts that we had the first time around. A lot of money was already floated out there and tax returns will be a nightmare next year, if irresponsible Americans just take the acorns and hide from the phone ringing. It also means laid off workers are lying to overburdened unemployment offices, when they say there was no job to return to. How many people will be on the hook to return ill-gotten money, or if the state governments have the resources to go after those cheats? Greedy, lazy citizens of this country: you only see what's right in front of you. You have so many freedoms in this country, fewer people want to pull their own weight to keep it together. Yes, some of you finally put on a face mask for the five minutes you were in that public building. The minimal compliance that you were forced into is not enough. I get there is so much rhetoric out there between Mommy and Daddy that you don't know who to trust. This situation shows a disconnected country that reacts to every little thing, rather than inform itself. The ignorance will play out however it will. We will still keep chasing carrots on strings until too exhausted cry out to get another bottle. It's about the welfare of a once great nation that would do everything to support it's citizenry to remain strong during WW2. And now, it's this mess. I finally got my head out of my ass to see where others are parking their brains. It's not such a dark reality, if everyone would just take a look around and evaluate. 8.10.20 Further consideration for edits forthcoming. In the meantime, public in this community for about 3-5 people to see. Thanks to Robinhood Snacks for the tidbits to fuel this treat. |
| Fleeting Farwell "It is useless, gentlemen. I think we ought to have prayer." Relatives and friends gathered around the death bed. The First Lady sobbed over him, "I want to go, too. I want to go, too." Her husband replied, "We are all going, we are all going. God's will be done, not ours" and with final strength put an arm around her. He may also have sung part of his favorite hymn, "Nearer, My God, to Thee", although other accounts have her singing it softly to him. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_McKinley historical Poetic Fiction in Dramatization 8.9.20 |
| Coffee tastes like hope but not freedom and why am I telling you with your Kombucha or whatever you’ll be sipping next season? Drink bleach much? Coffee is classic and while I need antacids for gut rot; can’t savor the flavor of overpriced fare, adjusted to each on a never ending lazy Susan to alter the taste of whatever recipe to sate. I’ll take a Cronut though, and revisit Coke. Better make it Zero. Fuck it! I won’t have what they’re having, nothing ever tastes like democracy. Give me something that tastes like...Conspiracy. Add Splenda laced with lethal virus of hypocrisy. You know what... You can’t walk off set! before this wraps up. Cut! Written whatever GD day this was. (aside) Do you have to ram everything down my neck so hard? I’m not in training for masochism, you sadist. |
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In the Falkland Islands, internet is very limited and very expensive. The place I'm currently staying only lets me use it in the middle of the night, so when I have to get up at 3 am to check my texts (no cell service to the US here unless I'm on the internet) or WdC, I don't do nearly as much as I used to. 
Have you spoken to the doctor about your vision problems lately? I know there are special glasses for it because I have to wear them to read much ever since the brain injury. It's part of why I now only listen to audiobooks instead of reading regular books. It took 8 years for anyone to diagnose it because I have a brain injury and while one might think it would be obvious to me that I see double, it wasn't. Partly, my brain does a fair job of compensating. But also, partly, you use your brain to realize and understand that the 2 images you constantly see are double vision and something you should mention to your eye doctor. Since my brain was damaged, even basic things like that can escape me. 
I never once thought to mention it, even with annual eye exams in the Army and an exam every 2 years at the VA. Though, in my defense, since it happens in something like 41% of people with a brain injury, it should have been discovered by an eye doctor much sooner. 
I know doing that activity is a CRAP TON of work. But you made a difference in lives, not just his, but for all the people he's reviewed since. 
Well done! 
