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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/item_id/1371715-Im-Studying-You/sort_by/entry_order DESC, entry_creation_time DESC/sort_by_last/entry_order DESC, entry_creation_time DESC/page/8
Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #1371715
Welcome to The Library. Randomness happens, Studyees.
My sig from Tanin, Writing Warrior.

I figured it was about time I started keeping track of silly thoughts or strange things I see from time to time. Sometimes it's vulgar. Sometimes it's sad. And even on some rare occasions, it's a riot! *Smirk*

I think a therapist would have a field day with this...oh wait...I already tried that, to no avail. I guess the rest is up to you. So feel free to stick your takes in The Drop-Off at any time, and don't hold back. Give it to me!

Studyees, you get prime real estate in The Library, so make it count.

Peace out NOW!

Signature for Between the Lines members.

 Invalid Item 
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#1442762 by Not Available.
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July 8, 2008 at 12:40pm
July 8, 2008 at 12:40pm
#595250
It's amazing I don't fall over more or get headaches.

Got up early, shaved, showered, dressed, and marvelled at the glorious day outside. Then I put on sunglasses. *Cool*

Not *Cool*. When I gave up my car last fall, I foolishly left a few things in it by accident. One of those items happened to be my sunglasses.

My eyesight is horrible. Like 20/200 in one eye and 20/300 in the other eye. So glasses for me get pretty expensive, even with vision insurance. And prescription sunglasses, even more expensive.

I know what's spinning in all of your collective geniuses..."but why not just wear contacts and buy $4 sunglasses at Wal-Mart, B?" Why not? I'll tell you why not. Because shopping at evil Wal-Mart is bad and it's killing the economy, that's why not. Plus, I had a friend once who was an othro optha peri dude who worked in an eye doctor's office who set me up with a free pair of contacts. I sat in his office for over 2 hours and I couldn't jam those shits into my eyeholes to save my life. Then I tried again at home for over an hour and a half. It wasn't happening.

So anyway, when I got my glasses last year, I got a deal if I bought a second pair and since my prescription changed, I figured I may as well buck up and and have the second pair be sunglasses. And since I no longer have them, I have resorted to my old sunglasses.

That may explain why I have a tendancy to almost get hit by cars (and has nothing to do with my lack of attention or loud music reverberating in the canyon between my ears).

Walked out of the house with my keys, backpack, music, almost-empty Dew and a sunny disposition. And then the sun said "game over!" and headed back into the locker room. It's been cloudy and humid and that's the perfect recipe for one thing: rain. Hasn't happened yet, and I'm not optimistic for an encore by the sun.

What I am optimistic about is CWC, and I don't even know why. But since I love conspiracy theories, here's my take: I go to cash out and she says what's up. I ask her how she's doin' and she says not good. I took all the knowledge I learned watching just about every single episode of Friends and put it to good use...men are supposed to follow those words with silence and just listen. I shut my mouth and let her vent just so I could see what I could learn. Well, first I asked if her cat was ok and she said yeah. Then I listened as she went off about the cat and nothing much more. Then the phone rang and I told her I hoped her day gets better. Fuckin' always gotta leave 'em smilin'.

In conclusion, this is what I've made up in my head on the way here from there. She's having man issues (hasn't said bo peep about this creature since that day she told me she was seein' someone). Maybe she wants to talk about it but maybe I'm not the right person to talk to (understandably). Or, **evil smirk** maybe I am. I think if she thinks about it long enough, she will break down and call me. Because this is not the situation to be pressuring la chiquita. For once in my life, I shall rely on what is termed "the power of positive thinking" and will myself into listening to my ringtone startling me sometime this evening with a lovely lonely little cashier trophy on the other end. Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout y'all.

I'm also gonna use that "positive thinking" crap nonsense to try and ward off the rain. Not sure how that's gonna work though...you don't wanna fuck with the forces of nature. But I'd gladly trade some raindrops for the chance to burrow my way into Jess' psyche a little deeper. And once I'm in, ain't no way I'm gettin' out.

So honk if it's sunny out, give the sky the finger if it's not and either way, tell someone you love them. 'Cuz that's some sunshine on even the lousiest of days. Have some Stone Temple Pilots on me today...'til the sun comes out, my patient little lovelies...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NU2kiOAgmIQ
July 7, 2008 at 2:19pm
July 7, 2008 at 2:19pm
#595054
First, respect The Beatles...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YBOUZT_5ODc

My dining room table is like the command center of my house. When I'm not outside or asleep, I'm probably spending 97% of my domestic time there. It also pretty much happens to be the first thing you see upon entering my abode.

So because I spend so much time there, it naturally tends to amass piles of generally useless things (mail, newspapers, crossword puzzles, pens, pencils, lighters, notebooks, cigarettes, notes about things to write, phone numbers I won't call, rent reciepts, small African infants that I pay seventy-six cents a day to try and save because the old guy on tv guilted me into saving a small African infant or 6, books I keep telling myself I'm going to read someday, a broken iPod, a couple pairs of headphones, Jimmy Hoffa, a wicker basket, tissues and napkins, Mountain Dew bottle caps with the codes on them to contests I'll never enter or win, and more) that can occasionally overclutter and seriously damage the Feng-Shui that my life's already lacking.

So as the first step of the major house-cleaning project I'm doing in advanced hopes of strengthening my confidence in case a certain female decides out of the blue that she wants to stalk me, gets my address out of the Wallgreens do-it-yourself photo kiosk and shows up chillin' in one of the chairs in front of my house when I come home some night, I undertook the grand chore of moving the mess from one part of the house to the other cleaning off my dining room table. After all, a candlelight dinner just isn't the same when it's a Glade scented candle atop a stack of poetry books you still haven't read yet.

And ohhhh the things one might find! At least 2 more lighters, boxcutters, shopping lists of shit I forgot to buy, to-do lists never done, pictures I thought I lost, 2 clicky pens that I got pissed off at because they wrote like crap...until I realized they were mechanical pencils, and this little guy, which I got for fifty cents at the library used book and craft sale.

** Image ID #1447919 Unavailable **


He just looked so awesome sitting there, so I think that's his new home. And monkeys are awesome. The cool thing about this little guy? He doesn't fling poop, complain that the music's too loud or try to crawl all over me while I'm eating Cheetos and doing a crossword puzzle! If only the rest of my life was so easy!

The next task: gathering the clothes strewn about the house. Or maybe putting all my cds back where they belong. Or just chillychillin' with the neighbors and not gettin' beaten by the heat. Later y'all. *Cool*
July 6, 2008 at 8:16pm
July 6, 2008 at 8:16pm
#594931
Oooohh was I a little pissy this afternoon when the Dew got warm and I got thirsty.

Which didn't make my adventure to The Wall any more fun.

I rolled in wanting to be like sunshine leaking through the crack of the door in a dark room. I left cracked.

I had no expectations. Wasn't mad that she didn't call me last night. And I ain't mad why. And I could be. But I really don't give a fuck.

(that last statement probably means I actually do, and too much more than I should)

I wasn't even gonna bring it up. I was jovial. She was, uhhhh, suffering from whatthefuckitis of the mouth.

"Sorry I didn't call you last night," all nonchalantly, "I didn't come home after work."

I said it's cool and I probably wouldn't answer anyway. [insert her shocked expression here] I was out helping Diane upstairs weed the backyard and driveway and wouldn't have heard the phone.

Ok, let's not all let the speculation grow legs and kick the shit out of me and run amok. I can drive myself apeshizzle thinking about every freakin' parameter of the extent to which this story has turned, or I can say fuck it and let the pony out the gate to see if it comes back. And not cry that it was me that opened the gate to begin with.

The cherry on today's Walgreens Sunday? She says "I'll give you a call one of these days. I swear." Bullshit and I can see it from miles away. And if I'm wrong may God kick me where she first split me if Jess actually does call me. I'm not holding my breath. Breathe it in breathe it out, now what it really be about? Life. Got no time for nonsense. I'm still learning how not to dwell on things.

So fuck it. I don't care.

And if anyone asks, I'm fine. The sunshine that wakes you up in the morning when you could use maybe another half-hour of sleep...that's me today. Sunshine.
July 5, 2008 at 7:00pm
July 5, 2008 at 7:00pm
#594774
July 4th damage report:

* Several containers that once held Mountain Dew
* A bike tire
* Two large (6 foot plus) portions that used to be part of the gutters on my roof
* A bottle of hairspray
* One man's ego
* My text-slash-lighter thumb
* A pack of Camel Menthols
* My American Eagle shorts...the orange on the pockets doesn't match the cheddar stain from the cheesesteak
* The landscape of the street

Almost damaged:

* Every wooden fence in my backyard
* Winks...scratch that, he goes in the above list because I heard he got pretty fucked up last night upstairs... I skipped the afterparty
* The neighbor across the street's wooden-shingled awning by the missile that went awry and exploded in front of the 2nd story windows
* Every car that drove by or parked on my street
* The garbage cans in my yard
* Little Ricky tryin' to front on me and get himself invited over while I'm waitin' in line for my cheesesteak

So I had a blasty on the 4th. Except Jess didn't call. After much prodding I sent her a text saying I hope she found her cat and she was having a good night. She texted back, and it all just got weird. And when I can call something weird, you damn well better know it's weird.

I made a compliment and said we were blowing things up. She replied with something like "stop that". I was confused. The banter back and forth just got weirder until she apologized if she sounded like a bitch. I just told her I'd see her today and maybe we could hang out after work.

Enter today. Asked her what the "stop" comment meant, hitting on her or blowing up things. She says "both" with a laugh. I say fine, I don't like you anymore. That scored me a chuckle. She delayed my transaction by checking out my newspaper. I told her if she wanted to read it so bad I'd buy her one of her own. I know, I'm a dick. I left by telling her to call me later.

I blame my behavior on the government. Got my Economic Stimulus check today, all six hunnerd of it. Nice. Found a place to cash it and quickly had to get changed because my neighbor was ready to make a move and offered me a ride. So I put on these shorts...first time I did this summer, they fit right. For about an hour. I bought them when I was a little heavier. And at least 3 times this year, I have regretted the decision to skip the belt once I load my pockets. Because in the process of trying to cross a busy street, I end up jacking up my shorts and eventually turning my silk boxers into a thong. Not pretty.

So that's the day thus far. Shot around a few texts and prolly offended some folks...my bad and whatever. I speak truth, so if it's what you want, well grab some salt and start picking out the grains. Meanwhile, I'mma log off, fall behind again on blogs, and wait on a phone call that will probably not come. Peace out y'all.
July 4, 2008 at 1:27pm
July 4, 2008 at 1:27pm
#594597
Since I can't youtube today, here's today's track. I'll wait as you cue up and listen to "Today" by Smashing Pumpkins.

Dashed out to The Wall. Ask hailey for the play-by-play. Circled around and she wasn't around. Ms. CWC, that is.

Doritos and a paper. Make my way to the place where they make you pay for shit. And there she is, womanning the 2nd register. Your hero gets into her line and becomes absorbed with the cover of People magazine and totally ignores twit-boy at the other register calling "Sir! Sir! I can help you here!" Fine Junior. But I'm still gonna talk to her.

I'll admit. I loitered just to talk to her.

She asked if I had been to the parade and if I went to the carnival, because she didn't know it started yesterday. I told her I didn't have a pretty blonde to go to the parade with, but went last night for something to eat (word up to all the chili dog lovers in the house!). And mentioned I thought of asking her if she wanted to go and take her boys (Josh and Alex...I'm now privy to such info), and then maybe catch the fireworks.

I dangled enough carrot for her to finally catch a nibble.

She didn't go to the festivities last night because when she got home, her cat Lily escaped. When I asked her her plans for tonight, they included looking for her cat. Like a champ, I stepped up and offered to help her...she's worried about the train tracks we live by and her cat. At some point I told her I hate cats, but like girls and that sounds a lot better than what I could be doing.

Then she went on about how her kids should've been camping with their dad, but it fell through and she still might have to "drive them all the way to Cheektowaga", which, may I tell you, is about a 15 minute drive at best, and happens to be right by the block I grew up in. So we've got things to talk about.

I told her again I'd help with the cat, and with my phone already on the counter from texting in-between her customers, she said the magic words...

"I get out at 5. Give me your number and I'll call you and let you know what I'm doing." And as I'm scribbling down my diggies and enhancing their legibility, she tears off another piece of paper and writes hers down! If this were Scrabble, that'd be like the triple word score with the double letter bonus using the letter Z. It was that kinda moment. Of course, the idiot in me cracks the joke "yeah, I'll need your number so I'll know what number to ignore when you call". Oh the fun I have. *Wink*

And I didn't even have to go pyrotechnic on her! Remember bang-snaps? Those little white things that were like a nickel a box when we were kids, you threw 'em at the ground and they made a loud popping noise? For shits and giggles I bought some last summer on our daytrip to Chatauqua Lake. So I found them today and was fully strapped and ready to scare the hell outta her had I had the chance.

I'd love to stay and chat some more, but I have a few emails to get to and a shower and a CWC phone call to prep myself up for. And yeah Hailey, I made it home ok, though I don't recommend texting while walking through traffic. Ahhh Jess... I may never wash the pocket that little piece of paper sits in right now again *Smile* .

Happy Fourth y'all...try not to blow off too many fingers! *Laugh*
July 3, 2008 at 5:01pm
July 3, 2008 at 5:01pm
#594464
There are worse things one can hear first thing in the morning besides: the garbagemen, construction outside your window, your boss calling to find out why you were late for work, or your roommate frantically struggling to get his stupid cat to stop pissing on my couch. One of those things for me is the sound of a heavier than average rainstorm. The kind that puts umbrellas to shame. The kind where you sprint the length of the driveway to the mailbox and back, only to have to wring your clothes out and towel off your hair as though you've been standing in your shower fully dressed for ten minutes.

Why does this bother me so much? Because it means my day is doomed and I'm stuck in the house all day, left to my vices and devices. My car? Long gone in the disaster that for the sake of this entry we'll just call "2007". Good thing I live in a decent neighboorhood with enough stuff closeby.

To make matters worse, the sun would pop out ever so slightly, the rain would slow to a dribbling mist, I'd get the urge to put the phone down, and then the sky would darken and the rains would come with such fury you'd think all of Lake Erie had (what's that process where water evaporates to form clouds? Yeah, that) and decided only to concentrate its wrath on my block. This chain of events repeated itself until about 1pm.

So I dicked around, which didn't chase the clouds or make the day go any quicker. Finally I took a chance during a break and paddled my way down to Walgreens. Much to my chagrin, Ms. CWC was not on the premesis. Went to Arby's for the unbelievable Beef-n-Cheddar 2/$4 sale (hold the red ranch sauce). Ate one, saved the other...who wants in on that? The auction begins at 934 gift points.

And here was the plan by the way, just incase the surveillance tapes don't make it on to youtube some day (this is not an actual conversation and it's not brought to you by On-Star, but this is what coulda went down):

me: Yo...you still mad at me?

her: (her answer will not be relevant)

me: Guess if that man's around you'll never know if I've got the stones to ask you out.

her: (her rebuttal will not matter)

me: I'd say on the 4th we should take the boys to the carnival, and when it gets dark we ditch them and grab a blanket and a patch of grass somewhere and stare at the fireworks while we get to know each other better. Maybe picnicy-like.

her: (anything less than a yes will not be tolerated)

So that was the plan. Didn't like the looks of the sky so I went back home, and was promptly assaulted by some jack-off on a 2nd story porch who shot like three bottle rockets in my general vicinity. So while it's still somewhat decent out, I'mma go and toss a Molotov Cocktail on his porch and try to hit up that carnival. Happy July 3rd!
July 2, 2008 at 12:17pm
July 2, 2008 at 12:17pm
#594200
Greetings from Buffalonliness...just dropping in while attempting to stave off the urge to be stumble-down drunk by 1pm...

*Bullet* It's a miracle! Made it out of the house early enough for a fast-food breakfast sandwich. Am I the only one who thinks these places should serve breakfast all day long?

*Bullet* I think if one wants to effectively change his/her mood, one needs to alter their listening patterns of music. So today, I will not post angry songs. Can't quite seem though to bust out the happy campfire music yet though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yvw1R1Ykk5Y

*Bullet* I am a master at Kung-Fu fighting with plastic lawn chairs. Just ask around my neighborhood, they'll tell you. I prefer the Swinging Plastic Chair Master technique. Best check yo self, fools.

*Bullet* Should have all my phone issues worked out by tomorrow morning at the latest, if they aren't already.

*Bullet* I'm not fond of getting strange, unsolicited emails from ex-girlfriends that I shouldn't be talking to. There are currently two staring at me from my Hotmail inbox. If one doesn't state that she's getting a divorce, I'm deleting them both.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NQhLtd58Jxc&feature=related

*Bullet* *Smile* Got a sweet Birthday Merit Badge from chicochica yesterday for my seven years toiling at the keyboard for a little space on the WDC servers. It's so appreciated...she's a sweetheart.

*Bullet* Ok, so the last time I put the pen to paper was over a month ago. And it's not very good (by my standards). I finally decided to post it yesterday. Feel free at your leisure, it's not very long. "Invalid Item

That's it for now. Think I'mma check out the happenings in downtown Lancaster...looks like they're all set up for their July 4th festivities and it's a beautiful day...73 degrees and sunny and just freakin' nice y'all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PGc2f2282NE&feature=related
July 1, 2008 at 3:49pm
July 1, 2008 at 3:49pm
#594061
Just a little something angry while I struggle to reconcile some current events...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1sg16Dy1BY&feature=related

I'm being difficult today. My phone's being difficult today. Every fucking thing is difficult today.

So I went into Walgreens and pulled, I guess, a straight-up dick move. And I almost feel bad about it. Wait. I don't wanna feel bad about it. But I do.

Walked in there like my stink don't stink. I would've had some things to say, but she was busy helping some chick out on the photo kiosk. And I don't think it was to filch my address and phone number. Got in, grabbed a Dew, got out. All they had was Code Red. Fuck Code Red. Face buried in a newspaper and hidden under one of my crazy hats.

More angst:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lox9wbWt4LU

Nope. Not handling this like peaches and cream. I guess I don't want to be an adult about it. Don't wanna face that this is my own fault. That would be too easy. If I have to chalk anything else up to experience and my dumb luck ain't gonna be no more chalk left to hopscotch on the sidewalk with.

What the hell am I so bent up about this for? The fact that it's been made obvious that I could've had something with a beautiful girl had I put the right combination of words together? That the combinations I had weren't good enough? That I flat-out suck at that kind of thing? I never used to...what the hell happened to my game?

Alright, I'm being a little bit harder on myself than I need to be. I'm like that. I'm my own worst enemy. I'll go catch up on some people I haven't caught up with in a bit, forget yesterday and today, go home and not try to be so aggrivated. Maybe throw on some piano music and read a book or somethin'.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MHqSQMx_gY

I needed something to calm me down. "I'm not living, I'm just killing time...your tiny heart, your crazy kitten smile."

*Note* *Note* *Note*

Thanks to anonymous for the gp's, c-note and b-day wishes...very sweet and much appreciated. *Heart*
June 30, 2008 at 6:26pm
June 30, 2008 at 6:26pm
#593903
Grab a kleenex or 6. The Kid got the verbal beatdown of the century about a half hour ago.

Yup. Y'all know who I'm talkin' 'bout.

Since I haven't been around as much lately, and I'm sure no one's really all that interested in my "date" with the mayor last night, I'll skip to the admonishing I got today.

It's been a lazy day. Woke up, futzed around and took a nap. Woke up and it was almost 5pm. Thought for certain if CWC was working today, I probably missed her. Hopped on my getaway sticks and went down to Walgreens anyway.

Wrong move, sucka.

She's doing something with the sunglasses rack. I pass, grab the one true passion in life that loves me back (God bless the saints that developed Mountain Dew) and strolled past a hard-working CWC.

me: You're doing a fine job! *Wink*

her: Shut up...I'm mad at you!

me: *Shock* What? Why you mad at me?

(I'm warning you all now...what you're about to read actually did come as a shock to me. And it ain't pretty.)

her: Because you're slow.

me: What? I'm slow? How am I slow??

her: I've been waiting 2 months for you to ask me out and now I'm seeing somebody.

me: Well, you could've said something too ya know.

her: Well...I'm old fashioned.

me: Well...you need to not be seeing other people!

She then kept going on about how beautiful the rose is, and how it keeps getting bigger, and it's on her kitchen counter, and...fuck, does this type of shit actually happen to people? I mean, ok. I'm not a bad looking dude, but I never I guess would have expected her to have said what she said. I really think she would've shot me down. Three times I said almost all the right things, three times left with non-comitting open-endedness.

Don't feel bad for me. I feel dumb and bad enough for all of us. But I've learned a lot in this whole situation. And this, my friends, is not over. It's not the end. Someone once told me a bit of wisdom that I'd like to share with you: Boyfriends aren't obsticles, they're stepping stones.
June 28, 2008 at 7:22pm
June 28, 2008 at 7:22pm
#593598
Can't put it off any longer, so here it is.

After dawdling around homestead 542 yesterday afternoon, I packed up shop and set out to do my thing and make a doer out of myself. Until I hit the chairs out in front of the house. Pretty much the whole crew was out and wondering where I was (and I heard them because the windows were open).

They wanted to grub on some Burger King, which happens to be across from the Walgreens, so that worked. I had to explain why I had a rose in my backpack, and now am solidly the idol of all teenage boys in Depew. I ditched them to complete the flower-giving transaction with CWC.

I rolled into The Wall like I was on a waterslide...no worries, just chillin and ready to splash. Em Dew on her counter, ready to make my move...

me: So, you in a better mood today?

her: Yeah...I saw your pictures by the way...a bike in a tree?

me: Yeah well I'm a prankster and the kids needed something to do and that kid's so fucking annoying and is always leaving his bike in my crappy yard...I came to get the pics the other day but you were gone.

her: I think you have a nice yard! And you take good pictures too. Did you come after 6:30?

me: No, I came just after 6. (At this point I've made a couple of turns so that maybe she'd see the rose.)

her: Oh...(she's thinking) ... I was in the office.

me: It's cool. (paid for my drink)

her: Yeah...got another hour then I hafta go and rearrange the boys' room and paint it. I should probably get back to work now.

me: Sounds like fun...hey, I meant to give you this the other day because I wanted to put you in a better mood. So here, because you deserve it. (Pulls out the rose.)

her: Oh my God...you really are sweet! Ohhhh, thank you! It's so beautiful! (This rose was in a serious bloom...and now she's looking at me like I've not seen a woman look at me in a long time...I swear to God I thought she was going to hug me. No lie...she's standing next to me and I can see the shoulders twitch.)

me: Eh, only been cartin' it around since wednesday night.

her: Shut up you have not! But it really is beautiful! That's so sweet of you! But I really have to get back to work.

me: K...see you tomorrow?

her: Yeah, and sunday...think I'm off monday, not sure...

And that was that. And yes I'm aware of all the shoulda/couldas but those get lost in the heated moments.

Came home and had a kickass night with the neighbors and friends. We set up a fire pit outside in front of my house, had hot dogs and smores and more Dew, brought out some tunes and kicked it like back in the day. And I'm sore as hell from playing football and not going to bed til almost 6am.

Fast-forward to my finally getting my mental roller skates ready to roll this afternoon. Shift into high gear and slope over to The Wall. Paper and Dew. No CWC.

As I'm cashing out, a really damn fine looking girl walks in. I can't not take my stare off her as she talks to the old lady she's with. Then it hits me...shit, it's Vinessa. And I know she caught me staring at least once (I can't help it; I have an eye for beauty and enjoy appreciating it).

And in the same damn glance as I'm crossing the mechanical threshold on my way out, my periph decides to lock my eyes for about one-onethousandth of a second with CWC at that counter halfway across the store. My mind doesn't play tricks...it's just downright cruel. At least I have tomorrow.

Yuck. So I come home and Amber's friend and some dude are sitting out, so I snatch up a chair to prop these old weary bones up on. And Katie's not havin' any of that dick she's with. And after I got my Dr. Phil on, that dude has dug himself such a hole that he has to go out and buy flowers. Meanwhile, St. Mack here gets his nice guy on with Katie. Nice girl, gorgeous smile, but not my thing. We'll see when she gets back from vacation next week. That dick returns with white roses. Weak. May as well have been a white flag of surrender. Katie was non-plussed.

And I'm gonna end it here cuz Diane interrupted my me-time by offering me upstairs for some dinner, which is totally awesome, and Nicole is texting me about the email she sent me about her wedding gown, which I'm sure she looks every bit as gorgeous in as I could only imagine. Have a good weekend kids...tomorrow, more CWC adventurism and *gasp*...my visit to a church with the mayor. Count your blessings and pray for me.
June 26, 2008 at 4:44pm
June 26, 2008 at 4:44pm
#593240
** Image ID #1443833 Unavailable **


OK so the picture kind of reeks of bad news I suppose.

For the majority of you that I've been in contact with, you know the story.

I slashed legs over to the place that sells the pretty flowers and kept my end of the bargain. Showed up at Walgreens with the tip of the rose sticking out of my backpack. Grabbed my pictures and took a brief walk through the site. No CWC. Damn.

Here I am, all ready to accept whatever she has to say, positive or negative. I'm in tune and capable of dealing with consequences/repercussions. 100% ready to run with the program. And she's not there. And to top it off, I figured as much she wouldn't be there today. And she wasn't. Two days of me carting this flower around like some sad clown who's lost his way, people lookin' at me like "what is that about" and my overall stress levels...well, let's just say for as well as I know my body, it loves fucking with me.

I get weird stress issues. If I'm really at odds with someone over something, I'll puke. Really. If something weighs on me too much, I'll toss. This is partly why I don't let too much worry or bother me. After the years of physical abuse I've put my body through, be it through sports or partying or bad diet decisions, the ol' belly still don't know how to respond when my head has issues it can't see to fruition.

So I came home last night, hung out a bit, played some frisbee, and spent a good 5 minutes power-vomitting.

Be thankful all you got was a picture of a flower. *Rolleyes*

I feel a little better today. Got off to a slow start today though, understandably. I don't know why my body loves to do this to me...I got into a misunderstanding with a girl one night and the next morning while brushing my teeth I spewed like a volcano. I could drink a 12-pack and still stand still, but chafe my romanticism and I turn into a panic attack suffering, purging maniac. No bullshit.

So anyway, guess tomorrow's the day. After all the texts and emails I received, thanks folks...means a lot to this kid. Once I set my mind to something, I become fixated. And I'm in need of an answer just as badly (if not worse) as y'all are.

Know what's funny? Since this little story of my life now seems like it's the 2nd-to-last episode of some crappy teen dramedy like The O.C. or something, I'll share this little detail before I run off to steal Ricky's bike and go to the Political Party fundraiser meeting I've got later on tonight that I totally don't feel like going to but have to: I couldn't listen to this song for a long time because it meant something to someone close to me for a long time. A once-great Canadian band, before they sold out to Sony and starting putting out lots of crap. Lots of crap-flavored radio crap. But their first three albums killed, and this is the song that happened to be playing while I was shimmeying through the parking spaces at The Wall...totally unintentional and forgot about this tune and actually popped the cd in to hear a couple other songs. Flick your Bics and sway along to the power ballad with me...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYEMskcDRKY

So that's that...on the outside I'm my normal everyday me, and on the inside I'm an allergy attack away from kissing porcelain. *Rolleyes* Fun times in B-ville. Hope y'all are having a sane and healthy and stress-resistant day. *Flower5*
June 25, 2008 at 4:29pm
June 25, 2008 at 4:29pm
#593057
OK I don't have a lot of time. I was going to post each pic individually within the blog, but I can't do that. Six pictures. Do the legwork.

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This item number is not valid.
#1443421 by Not Available.


Winks interrupted me while I was writing yesterday's entry to ask my permission to put Ricky's bike up in the tree. While kinda sad that I wasn't gonna be able to participate, I was fortunate enough to catch some pics and hear Ricky's reaction ("Awww guys, are you kidding me?? What the... are you serious? Jesus Christ...")

Now, this is why I'm pressed for time. I went to The Wall to make prints of those bike shots. No sign of CWC. The machine tells me I need to come back after 6:30 for my prints, which I think is really pushing it for 12 digital prints that take like 30 seconds to print. I take a lap around the store for the hell of it and she's at the counter.

CWC: "Heeeyy-eeey" trying to sound nice but failing miserably.

me: "Sup?"

CWC: "Cashing out?"

me: "Yeah, I made some digital prints. Gotta come back later for them."

CWC: "Of what?"

me: "Oh ya know, debauchery and trouble-making."

CWC: "I'm sure *Rolleyes*. I'm in a bad mood, sorry if I seem stand-offish."

me: "Nah, it's cool. Why you in a bad mood?"

CWC: "Well, everyone here's in a crappy mood, and I was here for an hour before I went to my son's banquet at school, and now I don't want to be here. Really don't want to be here."

me: "Sorry to hear that. Wish I could make your day a little better."

CWC: "Awww, aren't you sweet *Blush*!"

me: "Yeah, I'm good like that. I have to come back around 6:30 to pick up my prints. You still gonna be here?"

CWC: "We'll see. If I feel like it."

*Star* So here's the plan, los nativos of this famous little crack in the vase of the www. Your hero here is going to buy one (1) single red rose. He's gonna march his happy ass back down to The Wall. He's gonna go pick up his stupid little prints, which are available up above in digital format for all y'all to view at your leisure. He's gonna mack like he's never macked before and charm the ever-lovin' outta his CWC. He's gonna make all you ladies (and even some of you men that actually read this) proud. And then he's gonna go home and combust from all his anxiety. *Star*

There. All you people asking me what the plan is...there's the plan. You get the two-fer today...pics and plans. And I no charge you no mo' fo' double.

Hey while you're at it, I came across this in Deelyte- Chillin' 's blog and y'all should give it a whirly-whirl if you haven't already: "Invalid Item. And if you have, give it another whirl: "Invalid Item. It's funny cuz Noe mentioned that she's seen me in comments and we read the same blogs, but we haven't quite been to each other's. So as soon as I get a moment to sit down and chill, I'mma really check her blog out. Gonna catch up on you cats, then I got some Lance Romance-type activities to tend to. Wish me luck. With both hands. *Heart*
June 24, 2008 at 2:27pm
June 24, 2008 at 2:27pm
#592866
So before I dip into my verbal assault on life today, check out this video. It's kinda amazing. It's not music or anything offensive. Science at work. Yet a whole 'nother use for cell phones. Technology...it's what's for snackin' on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V94shlqPlSI&feature=bz302

Real quick...lemme get last night out of the way.

holdupwaitaminute...BREAKING NEWS...
*Bullet* Just got a call from Winks wondering where I am...him and Jake are putting Little Ricky's bike up in the tree NOW. Damn. I always miss the good shit. I told them I want pictures.

Back to last night...got to accompany Amber for a driving lesson, but not how I intended it, which is actually a good thing. The whole "shitting where you eat" concept isn't swinging well in my wheelhouse. It was me, Amber and a friend of hers. I didn't even get to ride shotgun. I figured if it was just me and her we'd drive around and get some ice cream and I'd tell her that it's probably not cool that the only time you get to see your boyfriend is when he's at the holding center. Instead, she parallel parked more times last night than I ever have in my life, and I left her with this piece of crucial road test wisdom: Always check your mirrors. The only thing more important than knowing what you're doing is looking like you know what you're doing. Her (2nd) road test was this afternoon. Hope she passed.

Now, on to today. Because what would a blog entry be without some CWC activity? I'll say this: your boy over here didn't drop the ball today, he dropped the hammer. Only not quite as big a hammer as one would like. The conversation after an exchange of pleasantries:

CWC: "So what, do you work around here or something?"

me: "Work? Who needs to work?" as I place my paper, Dew, Spin magazine and Honey BBQ Fritos Twists on the counter. Respect the Fritos.

CWC: "Where do you get your money from then?" Kind of a ballsy question, actually. Ballsy questions require ludicrous answers. *Smirk*

me: "I sell my body."

CWC: "You do not! Even I wouldn't believe that." Laughter ensues.

me: "No seriously, I get unemployment." I'm starting to wonder if she's gullible or just pigeon-brained.

CWC: "Oh. Sorry to hear that."

me: "Well, it beats working in a drug store." She's apparently forgotten our conversation where I told her I once worked in a drug store.

CWC: "Hey! It puts food on my table and a roof over my head and... so there! Burned ya! Hah!"

me: "And it's great if it doesn't make ya crazy" I said as dryly as possible. And I didn't even have to call out "Burn!"

CWC: "Ok, yeah, true."

me: "Ya know, I was thinking last night that if you really missed me at the end of last week, and you rely on Walgreens to get your daily fix of me, then, ahhh, you need to do something about that."

CWC: "Oh, ya think?!?" in that tone of voice where she sounds like she's discovering that maybe spending more than 5 minutes a day with me at some stupid beauty counter might not be too bad an idea.

me: with confidence and pride still fully intact, nod emphatically and say, "Yes, I think so," and strut to the door with my peacock plume busting out like a jack-in-the-box.

It isn't resolution. But I dropped enough bass on her to blow one of my stereo headphone channels, so we'll just nickname today "Progress" and go about the rest of the day. An interesting observation though...that's the third time I've gotten the exact same "Oh ya think?!?" response out of her in the exact same way. I'mma have her sippin' a nice, cool glass of B in no time. That's my word.

That's enough outta me for today...might see what game all y'all are kickin' but I should try to race home and see if they got Ricky's bike in the tree for real. And then come up with something to top that. Safe travels, safe returns y'all.
June 23, 2008 at 2:37pm
June 23, 2008 at 2:37pm
#592681
First some Sly & The Family Stone, to set the tone for today:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpBKpnsOltw

Now, to honor the first few official days of the greatest time of year (summer), I present in no particular order of priority my list of goals for the season:

*Bullet* Maintain my awesome tan amidst the clouds and omnipresent threats of rain. And not get sun poisoning like I did last year. No need for a hideous-looking purple torso.

*Bullet* Making it through the summer (my 33rd) of not being struck by a vehicle.

*Bullet* Throw a couple of touchdowns in street football without breaking any windows or bones.

*Bullet* Coming to a resolution with CWC. And after her comments about missing me after not seeing me since thursday and remarking that she even mentioned it to one of her other customers, this will hopefully have reached an apex this week. (And you'll all be pleased to hear that I complimented her on her new haircut. Bonus points right there playa! *Wink* )

*Bullet* Catch up on all the great music I've missed out on in the last few months.

*Bullet* If there's no resolution with CWC or I wind up being unable to reap what I've sown, then I'm gonna meet some of my new neighbor ladies on the block. There's some potential in the neighborhood for the first time in ages I see traipsing around. Some of these eggs have to be edible.

*Bullet* Get a WDC Merit Badge in Hip-Hop.

*Bullet* I've got to somehow get one of Little Ricky's bikes up in the tree in my backyard. I told Winks that this is a big priority this summer. The little shit's got his mountain bike and his little BMX bike in my driveway, and he's friggin' annoying. Or, you could call this bullet point "Regaining my amazing pranksterism skills."

*Bullet* Get a job. Like, a paying one. Full time, with benefits. And around here that's like squeezing the Lindsay Lohan lemon and hoping it shits gold.

*Bullet* Attend a couple outdoor concerts and some Bisons' baseball games downtown.

*Bullet* A Mountain Dew a day, to preserve my sweetness.

*Bullet* Cause enough of a ruckus to merit getting arrested, but weaseling my way out of it.

Whew! That's a pretty ambitious list! And since it's nice out, I better get to work on it. Have a fantasic day. *Smile*
June 21, 2008 at 6:57pm
June 21, 2008 at 6:57pm
#592388
The old man's got some questionable timing.

I called my dad like the angellic son that I am on Fathers's Day and got his voicemail so I left him a message. I even called my aunt to remind him to check his voicemail. Hadn't heard from homeboy all week.

I had already signed in for some low-level debauchery with my new adopted posse upstairs when he finally called back after 7 last night.

"Hey. This is dad."

"I'm aware of that. What's goin' on?"

"Ohhh nothin'. Listen, you gonna be home around 9:30, ten in the morning?"

"Yeah, sure dad," I said, hoping the enthusiasm in my voice was making up for my cringing...I knew I was gonna wanna sleep in, but I guess not.

Got off the phone and before I knew it it was 4am. Yikes! Sadly, most of the hi-jinks occurred after I got home and started texting In Your Dirtiest Pants . But I figured what the hell, for the couple of times she's done it to me. The only difference is I wind up sleeping through my ringtone. Hehe.

So after about 4 hours of sleep I dragged my ass into the shower and dad shows up, coming through in the clutch with a carton of smokes. Says he wants to go to the flea market. Fine. I used to love it when I was a kid. Now I go just to stare at people.

Pop Deisel asks me if I hafta go anywhere or need anything. Nope, all set homes, but thanks. He asks me if I wanna stop by his place, so I go. Then when we get to his place, listen to the shit he pulls:

Dude turns on some cowboy western crap movie and falls asleep in the recliner...with the remote *Shock*! And to top it off, his new one-month-old kitten falls asleep in my lap and fusses everytime I try to move.

Here's an ESPN Instant Classic story about my dad: When he adopted the cat from the SPCA, they asked him what he wanted to name him. He named him C.J. When I asked him what C.J. stood for, he just kinda shrugged and said "I don't know...nothin' really." *Confused*

So he wakes up and says somethin' 'bout grabbin' lunch. I had no preference so I left it up to him, thinkin' I have enough cash on me to cover us if he picks somewhere cheap. Uhhh...dad's in the mood for some rib place that I've never been to, Famous Dave's. And these are not fast food dolla dolla bills we'll be spending. And I don't really do pork, but if that's what the old man oinks, that's what the old man gets. I'll eat anything (except Thai) if I'm not responsible for the tab.

We eat and we're stuffed. And then he says the most preposterous thing I've ever heard him say (and sounding very much like a teenage girl): "I think we need to go to the mall!"

Duuuude nooooo is what I'm trying to say but all I can muster is a "sure" that isn't convincing. But dad has proven that my not always "getting the hint" comes from his side of the family.

Seriously...the mall is mobbed on saturdays, dad isn't very talkative and there's nothing besides milfs and hot Canadian chickage at the mall that I want. But it wasn't too bad...he wanted some input on a new tv and I made some cutie's day when she offered me a sample of shampoo and I said I was only taking it cuz she was cute.

Oh, and why didn't dad call me earlier? My aunt bought him airfare to and from Tampa to see my sis, so good for him! *Smile*

Anyway, the kids are out and about and callin' me, so I'm gonna peace out of here and catch up on all y'alls later. Hope the weekend isn't killing anyone.

And dad, hope you liked that Johnny Cash card. Happy fathers' day. Love ya.
June 20, 2008 at 3:27pm
June 20, 2008 at 3:27pm
#592160
So I'm gonna be that guy and hop on the bandwagon. I'm thoroughly convinced that none of us wants to live in the town/village/city/planet we live in.

The Scenario: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFZLq6R-ZtM

chicochica says Cali is too damn hot. All her commenters pretty much agree. Well, y'all need to get on the bus and head east, because summer is about 2 months away here. Seriously. The kids have all but finished their exams, the ice cream trucks are all over, it's nearing the end of June and I still have a long-sleeved shirt on. Ill. No other way of putting it.

According to the Buffalo News' website, it's 68 degrees right now with alternating periods of sunshine and cloudiness. I guess we're right at about our average for this time of year. It's rained all week, and the forcast mentions the possibility of rain through at least next wednesday. I guess that's what happens when you put a Starbucks up on every corner in town...your town turns into Seattle.

I took a vacation three Easters ago with my extended family...a Carribean cruise. That week was the most perfect week of weather I've ever seen. The entire week, temps were in the mid to upper 80's, maybe a couple of 90's, no rain, the nights were comfortable and all was right on that big little boat (although I was punishing my liver heavily that week also, so I may be fuzzy on some minor details). I'm convinced if I ever take another vacaction, a cruise will be the only way to go.

So let's all make like the volleyball team and rotate so we can live in the exact weather conditions we desire. Of course, if we had idyllic conditions, then what would we grouse about? The grass is never greener...but my place doesn't even have grass, so I guess I should just not complain. Have a great weekend, stay chill, pump your AC, have a wine slushie, whatever ya gotta do. I'm off to piss off motorists and cause as much personal entertainment as the law will allow (and maybe even more).
June 19, 2008 at 5:10pm
June 19, 2008 at 5:10pm
#591989
Outside of blogging, my writing lately has been like this video...a bunch of sad clowns in a car being engulfed by flames. It's the perfect song for today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BBlhBhVx6A

So I'm gonna bitch a little more about the things I don't like or creep me out or piss me off or even confuse me. Kick up your shoes, I might be here awhile today.

*Bullet* My state of New York Unemployment Insurance Mastercard Debit card sucks. It is not usable at nearly as many ATMs as they claim, which makes paying my rent a little bit more of a chore. The only places I can use it to withdraw funds are places like Walgreens, Tops and Rite Aid, and they cap the amount you can withdraw during a transaction to $40. Weak, NY, weak. Considering you tax us for smoking, driving, walking the dog, collecting stamps and passing out on park benches, at least make it easier to come up with the chedda to cover that will ya?

*Bullet* Why must we be limited to merely getting what we pay for? Rite Aid has their generic brand 24-pack of AA batteries at a regular price of $10.49. Walgreens has their generic brand of AA batts at $10 for a 32-pack. Now we all know what my real draw for going to Walgreens is, but I can't pass up the deal since I use a lot of objects that take AA's, I'm always on the run and I've only got one set of rechargeables that stay in my digital camera. Let me tell you, those Walgreens batteries are garbage. Word up, straight garbage. And while I'm on the topic of commerce, what ever happened to the "art of the deal"? America needs to scrap paper currency and go back to The Barter System. You know, raise chickens and then give them to the doctor who cures your warts, or trade colorful rocks to buy Elvis bobbleheads, or grow vegetables and use them as payment for a speeding ticket. Imagine how much better America- and THE WORLD- would be.

*Bullet* When you're driving and you stop at a stop sign and there's a pedestrian waiting to cross the street, you wave him across, right? That little cupped-hand sway (I prefer to do it twice as if to say "motion") that says "Please, after you"... you know what I'm talkin' 'bout. The only thing worse than making you wait and idle your engine, in this day and age of ridiculous gas prices and the need of instant gratification everytime we leave the house...the only thing worse than that lazy pedestrian who takes their sweetass time crossing the street, is the arrogant sumbitch who does that crazy half-jog with the arms swinging to make it look like he's jogging, but he's not moving any faster...in fact, I think it's actually slower because of the wind-drag caused by that unflattering arm-flapping.

Oh wait...I'm that pedestrian. *Smirk*

*Bullet* This has happened to me twice now in the last two days, and it's happened so often and it's not maddening, it just...I don't get it. It makes me go hmmm.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2Dtfi3VkiU

And yes, I realize I just lost all my street cred by posting that video. I'll pop a few caps and get it all back.

Anyway, this is what's happening: Users posting links to their myspace pages (and you can check mine out...it's a Buffalo Sabres background and nothing. That's how I roll.), and then you click on it to see what other shit people are into, and the "White Screen of Death" pops up with the following message:

This user has set his/her blog to private.


*Shock* So you want the attention, you want a little love in your life in a non-WDC way, but you put it under lock and key? *Confused* I don't understand this. Excuse my lack of current ghetto gangsterism lingo, but that's wack, homies.

And I can understand why people may want to have their eggs in all different baskets, like a Chinese auction. They can do it. Not me. Personally, me having more than one blog would be like me having 6 kids with 3 different babymommas. It would severely crimp my parenting skills.

*Bullet* The lead singer of Weezer, Rivers Cuomo...his mustache. It's bad. It needs to go. It looks like someone amputated a cat's tail and he decided to glue it on. (Don't tell PETA I said that). I'm not even going to post a link that shows it. It's too offensive.

*Bullet* And finally, Dave Matthews Band fans. Not DMB, but his supporters. Especially the younger ones. Talk about arrogant and obnoxious...they're the reason I'll never buy any of his albums, other than the fact that he's not really my thing. They're all like (imitates a high-pitched 20-year-old female) "OMG, DMB is, like, the best group evahhhhh and I love all his songs and I see him everytime he comes and I have a bootleg of the show in Cameltoe, Milwuakee and I heard him give an interview on the radio and I swear to God we were sharing the same air and what's your favorite song by them? Mine's "[insert mainstream radio hit here]" and I love that version he did at Red Rocks where it was just him and the other dude and you soooooo have to come with us the next time he plays here and I can't wait to go home so I can listen to it in the car while you shoot yourself in the ears after this conversation."

That was a real conversation. Only I did not shoot myself in the ears.

*Bullet* Actually, I have to end on a good note and say that I appreciate it when CWC tells me she's gonna be off the next day, like she did yesterday. It saved me a trip to The Wall and if she really thought about it, she'd realize I pass like 4 Buffalo News honor boxes and 6 other outlets that are either on the way to or as the same distance as Walgreens but in a different direction (and that's usually the direction I'm heading...in the opposite one) that also carry the same newspaper. She knows this. She has to know this. She's not stupid. Because if she sees me there in the early afternoon, and then I'm coming from the total opposite direction in the late afternoon, then how could she not know? I'm starting to wonder what kind of sense of logic this woman owns. Anyway, just to prove that I'm not a total DMB hater, I'll post my fave DMB song of all time, and try to get out of here before it starts to rain. You all know where to leave the hate mail. *Heart*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sRnpYdKYgZg&feature=related
June 18, 2008 at 1:00pm
June 18, 2008 at 1:00pm
#591747
Well, because I'm an American, and one of our nation's collective favorite hobbies is complaining about the things that piss us off (rather than just appreciating what we have), I offer this list of things that creep me out or irritate my soft folds:

*Bullet* The lady sitting next to me at the library with the rash on her forehead that looks like she tried to clear up with a vacuum cleaner.

*Bullet* Those 12-packs of gum that come in those aluminum-sealed plastic bubbles. Sure, they're not as bulky as the old-school 17-packs of Big Red (which I can no longer chew because the cinnamon irritates the roof of my mouth worse than hot soup), but it's inevitable that one or two pieces of this ridiculously priced breath freshener ($2 a pack? I'll stick to smoking) is going to wind up being supercharged in that packaging and when I go to pop a piece out, it's going to come flying out and I'm either going to lose an eye or injure a small, defenseless child. I typically lose 1-2 pieces in a pack on average.

*Bullet* And speaking of smoking, NY cigarettes are really irritating. A few years back they passed a law to make smokes "self-estinguishing". In layman's terms, this means if you don't take a drag for 30 seconds to a minute, the cigarette magically goes out and you have to relight it. And if you're not careful, you run the risk of lighting up your facial hair, which is not a pleasant smell. I think this law is a conspiracy launched by the government to actually increase smoking. It makes you smoke a little faster, putting the nicotine into your body quicker, making you want to smoke more, so you'll buy more cigarettes and pay more of the increased tax NY just levied again on smokers. But if you ask me, everything's the government's fault.

*Bullet* Bands who put out an album with a pretty decent hit song that launches them into superstardom. That's not so annoying, but when those bands then consistently put out album after album that keeps getting better and better, radio stations are still stuck in 1994 and only play that one big hit. For example, Radiohead and the song "Creep". Yeah, it's not a bad song. But they've put out so many better songs over the years. However, if I hear "Creep" on the radio one more time, I'm going to take my Easton Black Max softball bat to either my stereo or a radio programming executive.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53xJ9BDPQ3Y

*Bullet* Cars that drive through parking lots like it's the Indy 500 and that parking spot next to the Handicapped one seems like the only empty spot on the other side of the lot.

*Bullet* Taking a walk and getting halfway to my destination when the batteries crap out on my music player. And not wanting to stop and buy one or two more AA's because you know you've got a shit-ton of them at home. Or getting to your destination, say, for example, a fast food joint. You finish your meal, and as you're throwing out your trash and clearing off your table, the skies unleash the heaviest downpour you've seen all decade while the wind turns your umbrella inside-out.

*Bullet* Saying hi to a stranger on the street, only to be stared at like you're going to mug them. Please lady, what am I gonna steal? Your Aqua Net? Your babushka? I think these people are Communists.

*Bullet* What really gets me though, is trying to hang a kid's mountain bike in a tree and the stronger branch is about a fist's length too far away, the grease from the chain gets all over your hands, and the little punk you're trying to irritate comes out and asks you in his dumbest voice, "Hey...what are you guys doing?" We're trying to recreate the statue of liberty, moron. Go away.

Well, that's all I got for today. Just thought I'd like to share. And hey, not all is wrong in the world. Coldplay just put out a new album. Hope it doesn't put me to sleep. Have a great day!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IakDItZ7f7Q
June 17, 2008 at 6:51pm
June 17, 2008 at 6:51pm
#591606
Go ahead and do it, I'll wait. See, the blog just got interactive.

Notice the size of that tiny spinning sphere in motion. Yeah. That's the average size of the hail that fell in my fair region yesterday afternoon. They were the size of golf balls in some areas.

Hail? Hail?? In JUNE?? Thunder, lightning and rain, ok...but the most gigantic hail I've ever seen at any time of year? To top it off, the temps are dipping back into the upper 40's at night. I'll pass on the Al Gore-ishness of the idea of Global Warming. Alas, no driving lesson with Amber.

And today, had I been smart, I would've been home building an ark and pairing off animals instead of walking to Burger King. By the time I sunk my chompers into some tasty bacon double cheesy goodness, rain was violently riccocheting off the pavement like metal shot off a tin can. Like Canadians off of Marshawn Lynch's Porsche SUV after a saturday night on the Chippewa Strip. The streets began to flood here, which is rare in my 'hood. I know you're concerned; I popped up my cheap umbrella and made it home, with a soaked pair of brand new socks.

Then the sun popped out, the kids came out, and Winks and I tried putting this kid's bike up in a tree in my yard. Didn't work. But there's pizza upstairs now, so I gotta jam. And it's raining again. Damn. Get some sun while ya can y'all. I get some free 'za. *Smile*
June 16, 2008 at 3:50pm
June 16, 2008 at 3:50pm
#591350
A hodge-podge of news and opinions today:

*Bullet* So I came across this article and I find it to be very interesting, especially since I've never seen anyone touch on the topic of being poor quite the way this columnist has. It was in the editorial section of Saturday's Buffalo News:

http://www.buffalonews.com/opinion/editorials/story/369945.html

He makes some pretty good points, like a NAACP-type coalition for the poor. It kinda sucks that the rich people in this country are a minority but can use their money to bully themselves into power and buy whatever it takes to further separate themselves from the have-nots.

*Bullet* Went to Walgreens to pick up some AA batteries and they had a special on 'em. CWC's cashing out and decides she doesn't want to sell me smokes. Jokingly, of course. And not having had a cigarette all morning, was not in the mood to be fucked with. Or flirted with. Or be flirty. None of it. None. I was polite and she was, well, her. Schizophrenic.

*Bullet* Was hangin' out with Diane outside last night while she was waiting for her daughter to come home. Apparently I'm a hero to the kids and they were so excited that they got to sleep at my place. Diane's daughter comes home and sits out with us. She's 18 and waaaay stupid cute. With bad luck choosing boys. She's always picking up dickheads that treat her like shit. Like her current "boyfriend", who spent the weekend taking some other girl to his prom. I'm sorry, but to paraphrase Chris Rock, if your boyfriend takes some other girl to the prom, he is not your boyfriend.

Here's some Chris Rock:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBdVpNc9BZ0

Anyway, so I'm reading chicochica 's blog outside when Diane comes out. She tells me Amber's trying to get her license but she's been so busy driving everyone else around and she's so tired that she doesn't have time to take Amber out. So guess who Diane's trusting with her car and her 18 year old daughter tonight for a driving lesson? Yup. Kid B over here. Saint Mack. This could get very interesting. Both hands on the wheel and eyes to the front. *Delight*

*Bullet* And while I'm at the plug game, Kåre Enga in Udon Thani informed me Friday night of the passing of the host of NBC's Meet The Press , Tim Russert. Tim was a very well respected South Buffalonian who's roots always stayed with him. He was a true supporter of the city and about as good an ambassador and embodier of the city itself as anyone. He will be greatly missed by many people here and worldwide. Hey Tim...go Bills! RIP.

*Bullet* This week I plan on doing something I haven't done in a few months. I'll be buying a new book. "What's so special about that, B?" is the refrain I can hear you all trying to work off of your lips at the same time. Well, that book just happens to be written by the one and only hailey. Go to her blog and read her entry about it, figure out that you'll enjoy it, and then go here to buy it:

http://www.writing.com/main/redirect.php?redirect_url=http://www.mysticmoonpress...

And no, she didn't pay me to advertize. But I know if I was hawkin' my work in the general public, I'd be buggin' you folks left and right. And we can all use the support, so show a fellow WDC'er some love and buy her book.

*Bullet* Also, show some love to lana bardot ...she's such a lovely romantic with a beautiful heart and soul. Plus she gave me a supersweet C-note over the weekend which was really cute. Fill up that girl's comment box...she'll love you for it. On the flip-side, however, is my boy Z.˚rz with another episode of Rumiez. Someday when you can't find the episodes on DVD at your local discount retailer, you'll be wishing you would've clicked here:

http://www.writing.com/main/redirect.php?redirect_url=http://www.funnyordie.com/...

*Bullet* Anyone heard from Julie D - PUBLISHED! or Gaby ~ Keeper Of The Realm lately? They seem to have gone AWOL. Terrible behavior, ladies. Terrible. Or like In Your Dirtiest Pants would say, terrible behaviour. Come back soon ladies. I'm sure someone misses you somewhere. *Laugh*

That's all I got for today. Because I really don't feel like typing anymore. Besides, I have a driving lesson to prepare for. Wish me luck. With giving the lesson, not with the girl. You pervs. *Rolleyes*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMJIc9USE2U

And if I left anyone out of the plug-and-link party that today's entry turned into, well, my bad. Seriously. I probably just didn't know what to say about you. But don't worry. Your time will come. I promise. Have a kicktail day y'all.

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