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 |   A little bit of everything, colored my own way. |
 BLOG CHALLENGE WINNER FOR SEPTEMBER 2011 AND APRIL 2012!! ** Image ID #1901871 Unavailable **  After almost a year away, I've decided to revisit Blogville. I'm refreshed and ready...this time around it'll be a little different. I'll talk about a little bit of everything...music, sports, retail life, and more. It's not for everyone...you might not like it, but someone you know (and possibly detest) probably will! WHO THE HELL DO I THINK I AM??  We're gonna find out one way or another!  Relax, enjoy, leave a comment, tell your friends... A special thanks to Julie D - PUBLISHED!  for the 2011 Quill Awards image!"There is only one way...it is THE WAY." -Photo Jesus  "Can't you count to one??"  Thanks for stopping by and showing your support!  |
| THE PROMPT: Goin' promptless today. What's up folks? Been awhile, but it's been a different week of sorts. Allow me to go back to my roots and break it down bullet-point style.  Yes, the idea that I might be getting a new computer soon came true this week. I am now the proud owner of a brand new Toshiba laptop, courtesy of kindness and generosity. And while I'm very grateful, I am still a complaining male. So far, Windows 8 and I are not friends. There's too much going on so far for my liking. Sure, in six months I'll wonder how I ever lived without it, but for now I'm not a fan. But I do absolutely love this device in general. It's got twice the hard drive of my previous laptop, a bigger screen, better everything and a number keypad. I like number pads. Don't question me, because I don't think I can come up with a satisfactory explanation why. Oh, and it was about half the price of my last computer. That's what we like to describe as a "win".Having once worked for a computer store, I always thought I'd be a Sony laptop person. But I've heard good things about Toshiba computers, and I really liked my last one. When I saw this deal, it seemed almost too good to be true. It's amazing how fast technology moves. I know I shouldn't be so obvious about it, but it bears repeating occasionally. I made a big decision yesterday to leave the house without a crutch or a boot. It felt weird, no lie. But I walked. A couple blocks. Well, I limped. A lot. And my ankle's still sore. But that was a huge step for me, no pun intended. Monday's another doctor's appointment. I don't often share a lot in this space what other bloggers have to say, outside of Sunday reviews for the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"  . And I haven't actually written on a Sunday in quite awhile, so maybe today's an appropriate day of sorts to pass along an entry I read the other day and I can't seem to shake it for some reason... Wordsmitty ✍️  's "Lost interest ?" . It really made me think...not that other entries don't, but I felt something different when I read this. I kind of examined myself inside of that entry a little bit. I've been struggling with self-motivation lately, especially when it comes to writing. At first I thought I was just being lazy, but I realized it wasn't just that. Taking a few days off here and there might be what I need just to maintain a little patience, sanity, and the will to keep bangin' on a keyboard. I'm not doing anyone any favors by forcing myself to do this day in and day out, especially if I'm not getting the satisfaction I want from it...and right now I don't even know what that satisfaction is anymore, but it's no longer as simple as typing {entry:######} in a couple of forum posts on a near-daily basis.Maybe I'm just getting a little too far into my own head again. I'm pretty good about doing that, and not good at getting out in a timely manner. And I'm not saying I'm quitting writing or anything like that. I just need to spend some time reexamining why I do this, and maybe not do it so often. I don't think that's a bad idea. Sort of like a battery recharging of sorts. Note to anyone wanting to bite my style: this won't win you any contests. And I'm very at peace with that, and have been for months now. If I wrote for accolades I'd be in this for all the wrong reasons. That's not the kind of validation I require. Sure it's nice, but it's not the end-all be-all. Just try not to miss me too much if you don't hear from me for a few days...and I say that now, but watch me come up with a reason to be back at this blogging thing tomorrow or something. Sometimes that's just how these things work. MUSICAL BREAK!! Since I really don't have a point or a prompt, I'm going kind of random today. I might've actually posted this before, but it's all good. I'll pump anything that was actually filmed in my hometown. VITAL STATS:  If I don't get around to saying it this weekend, have a great Easter y'all! I completely forgot to point out that last Saturday was not only the two year anniversary of this dusty corner of the interwebs, but that I am a lucky man in a totally unrelated way. I'm fortunate enough to have two friends from totally different circles in my life, DMFM and G-Stamm, who share the same 23rd of March birthday, and I'd belatedly like to wish them the best.And I think that's where I'm dropping out for now. Not saying goodbye; just sayin' I'll see ya soon. Probably in a couple of days. Maybe sooner. Take care of yourselves, and each other. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| 30DBC PROMPT: "Have you ever wanted to trade places with someone else for a day, a week, or a lifetime? If so, who was it and why?" What's the good word, dear readers? I gotta tell ya, they've been hard to come by around here the last couple of days, and with no explanation. And I'd like to say that with the help of these prompts I can swindle my way around a few paragraphs favorably today, but the end result doesn't often match up with the confidence I start out with. All of my life, I've tried to resist the temptation to want to trade places with people. I didn't want the pressure associated with celebrity or the notoriety that comes with fame. Dating actresses was out of the question...I mean, I'm not horrible-looking by any means, but I'm not gonna launch a thousand ships with this body either. My bodybuilding days have long passed me. I guess I've always been more comfortable living in the here and now, as opposed to wishing and hoping and wondering. I'd rather stay grounded in reality than let my mind wander over what could never be. And that said, there still is one person who I wouldn't mind trading places with, and that's my old self. Yup, he made mistakes and didn't give an eff say can you see, kay, but your boy over here still had a lot of fun and wasn't the slightest bit concerned with what the me of today has to contend with. And while I mothereff that guy a lot nowadays, I think I deserve some kind of vacation once or twice a year where I get to spend a week being soulless, moralless, clueless, aimless, drunk 24/7, unruly, obedient on my terms, and rich beyond dreams. Or at least most of what I just said, and without having to pay for it later. BCF PROMPT: "What is your favorite family Easter memory?" When I think back about holidays, and not just Easter but pretty much any holiday, there's a common thread that hangs them like a noose ties them all together: A holiday isn't a holiday until my crazy Italian grandmother has snapped and lost her mind on someone random for no apparent reason. Examples could include (but aren't limited to): ripping an uncle's brother for washing dishes, mocking a girlfriend's ethnicity, or openly questioning a child's sexuality. All totally unsolicited as well. She would get so wrapped up in her festive snits that she wouldn't even notice us kids sassing her back. Once she got going, she just had to go until she ran out of gas. Then things kind of went back to an awkward shade of normal. I don't know why I mentioned that. Maybe it's because of a lack of Easter memories that really stand out. The most fun, and I'm sure this will be the standard response of a lot of people, is the search on Easter morning for the hidden Easter basket. For some reason, I enjoyed this more than opening Christmas presents I think. Probably because it was slightly more challenging than ripping paper off a package of socks, even in a tiny apartment. As we got older, the parent doing the hiding had to get more creative with where the basket was put, and as the saying goes, "to catch the crook, you have to think like a crook". That probably explains why my Reese Eggs were shoplifted out of my basket by my youngest brother before I found my basket. There may yet come a day when I'll have kids of my own (it can still happen), and the hiding of the basket is something I'll look forward to. I do worry that my overly-competitive nature, along with my random forgetfulness, might wind up in working against me, and my kids won't find their baskets until the second week in June. I could see myself treating it like a game, and if they find the treats, I lose. As if Easter already isn't the last cool candy holiday until Halloween, I'd have to be the dad that would possibly try to make an entire spring out of finding baskets. And with my luck and blind lack of sense, I'd probably do something seemingly genious like put a basket in the washing machine, and then forget about it and throw a load of whites or linens in later that day. Or place it in a garbage can. On the neighbor's property. When Monday is collection day. Maybe I'd find a way to get a basket stuck on the roof, only to have an enterprising child squirrel his/her way up there, nab the melted goods on a rare 70 degree April morning in NY, and then fall off the roof and break a bone, forcing me to spend the day in the ER watching bad movies on Lifetime. Well, I suppose it beats having Grandma Rosie screaming at you because your hair looks "fruity". MUSICAL BREAK!!  Had a tough time coming up with tunes today, so I figured I'd stick with the Britpop kick I was on yesterday...  Na na na na na na na na nahhhhhh.... VITAL STATS:  After all my troubles with sleep lately, I think I can say I've had the most unsatisfying 25 hours of sleep over the last 48 hours. Don't even ask me how or why that can be possible. It should be some kind of illegal to be incredibly tired yet unable to sleep. It appears that the doctor's office wants me walking even earlier than their deadline of my next appointment, because they called me today to see if I could come in an hour earlier next Monday. So even though I need to be walking before then, I really need to be walking before then. Pain, swelling and general discomfort aside, I may just say screw it and ditch the crutch and the boot tomorrow anyway and take my chances. I've about had it. I can walk a few steps, so what's a few more? Or a few more than a few more? Or a lot more? I guess the only way to find out is to...well, find out. Have you seen the "Invalid Item" ? There's some great stuff in there, some nice features, and a chance to get your blog featured. How? Go visit the "Blogging Bliss Newsletter Forum" and find out! blainecindy and the editorial staff have done a fantastic job.   I don't like to put carts before horses, but in the next day or two I may have an actual computer to call my own, and I'm very secretly excited about this in my head (I don't often show too much emotion outwardly). I don't want to say too much until I actually get my hands on it, but it's an amazing thing for this kid...the days of Blackberry Central appear to be numbered, and in the interest of consecutivism, let's start at "1".And before I say too much, I'm gonna post this and get on with my life. Tip your bartenders and DJ's, watch your step, peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!  |
| THE PROMPTS: "Find something from history that happened on March 25th to research and give us your thoughts." (30DBC) "We all have our low points in life. How do you get through times like these? How do you 'get up' and continue on?" (BCF) What's up folks? Just a quick fly-by to say hey....haven't been around in a few days and I'll be hoping to change that soon. Was going to do a little research for events that happened on this day (one of the prompts given) and I was distracted by the knowledge that one of my favorite Radiohead websites had, well, not "stopped", but ceased updating a little while ago. And another, http://www.ateaseweb.com/, has undergone a revamping of sorts. One of their old features was "This day in Radiohead history...", which was going to be my cheat-sheet for today...alas, it is no longer part of the site. But then I came across this link...a great Blur song, and a pairing that wouldn't have happened ten or twenty years ago. Blur's leader Damon Albarn reuinted with guitarist Graham Coxon, along with former arch-enemy from Oasis, Noel Gallagher, and British legend Paul Weller. Takes a real music nerd like me to appreciate what all six minutes of this video means. So in lieu of an actual blog entry today, this is what you get. "Tender is the night Lying by your side Tender is the touch Of someone that you love too much Tender is the day The demons go away Lord I need to find Someone who can heal my mind Come on, Come on, Come on Get through it Come on, Come on, Come on Love's the greatest thing Come on, Come on, Come on Get through it Come on, Come on, Come on Love's the greatest thing That we have I'm waiting for that feeling I'm Waiting for that feeling Waiting for that feeling to come Oh my baby Oh my baby Oh why Oh my Tender is the ghost The ghost I love the most Hiding from the sun Waiting for the night to come Tender is my heart I'm screwing up my life Lord I need to find Someone who can heal my mind Come on, Come on, Come on Get through it Come on, Come on, Come on Love's the greatest thing Come on, Come on, Come on Get through it Come on, Come on, Come on Love's the greatest thing That we have I'm waiting for that feeling I'm Waiting for that feeling Waiting for that feeling to come Oh my baby Oh my baby Oh why Oh my" On second thought, maybe I needed to hear this song. Maybe it does make a little sense. Enjoy a bit of a serious entry today, my friends. Maybe I'll be in a little better place tomorrow. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| 30DBC PROMPT: "Lists, lists, lists. To-do lists, check lists, laundry lists, bucket lists ... Seems like there is a list for everything. Write a humorous list of things you are NOT going to do today." What's up folks? It's a do-nothing day full of no good, so come along and celebrate my to-don't list with me, won't you?  TODAY I WON'T...  Walk on two legs. Make a lot of sense. Keep my eyes to myself. Star in a Greek tragedy. Pretend I don't notice duplicity. Remember to remember to forget to forget.  Shop unattended. File for divorce. Throw rocks at pedestrians. Keep a straight face. Flash my goods at a country music concert. Climb a mountain. Cry you a river. Obey listmaking. Switch full-time to Diet Mountain Dew. High-five old ladies and say "nice high-fastening pants". Be defined by whatever standards of dignity I have. Duel my rivals. Eat yellow snow. Complain to corporate.I'm making no promises for tomorrow though. BCF PROMPT: "What is your idea of the perfect day?" A recent batch of uninspired days lived leads it hard to conceive the idea of a perfect day. I could argue that if we knew what a perfect day really was, we'd strive that much harder to make it more attainable...and they'd happen more often, making "perfect" seem more the norm and not as special or spectacular. Plus, speculating makes me kinda hate life just a little more solely for the sake of realizing in written word just how imperfect my life really is. But at the given moment I'll just think of all of that as the troll that lives under the gnarled bridge of life, ignore it, and swim in the murky waters. A perfect day is bookended by nights of amazing sleep...or any sleep where you aren't tempted by your own awakening to take a second dose of sleeping meds. You wake up and the bed's already made. You don't have to kick anyone out, and you're almost tempted to ask a houseguest or four to stay for a breakfast they're gonna make and clean up after. The pets take care of themselves, you fly to work because you can run out of gas but not oxygen, and your boss promotes you hourly with raises retroactive to your date of birth. Then you come home, you know exactly what you're gonna spend your money responsibly fun on, take that vacation that lasts a month but costs you a half-hour of real time, and the sun doesn't stop shining. You hit that button in your shower that says "perfect temperature instantly", climb in, climb out, know what the book you've been dying to read is all about, and hop into bed knowing tomorrow will be just as busy and fulfilling. And there's no alarm clock to interrupt this, because it's not a dream. MUSICAL BREAK!! More stuff I don't wanna do today. All that being said, I think it's wise to quit while I'm ahead, or at least still in the game. Have a great rest of your day, get a good night's sleep, peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!  |
| 30DBC PROMPT: "What was the most outrageous thing anyone has ever dared you to do? OR What was the most outrageous thing you have ever dared someone else to do?" What's up players? We're on a tear here this week. A bender of the written word, if you will. I feel like a lush...this is going on something like the third entry in a row that has influences near the bottom of a bottle of somethin', for sure. I don't doubt that there are many stories in my past that have been predicated somehow by the phrase "I dare you". But before I continue, I need to ask a serious question: does it count as a dare if there's also money on the table? Now for some background: Yesterday I mentioned a little dive bar called The Clover Bar. Today I'm gonna tell you about the legendary Keystone Grill, a steakhouse I'm pretty sure we drank out of business. I would go there with coworkers when I worked at the service center for the local electronics company. Sometimes we'd go two, three, six nights a week, whatever we were feelin'. And on any given night anyone could walk in with $10, leave with $6 and be pretty wasted. Turns out the bartenders weren't seeing that enough cash made in into the till to cover the beer and liquor going out. And when the owners caught on, they'd hire a new bartender, but keep the regular guy around just long enough to train the new guy first. And part of that training typically included pointing to our crowd at the bar and the regular bartender insisting we always "be taken care of". How that place managed to stay open for as long as it did while keeping our livers intact is something I'll never know. Anyway, I was kinda in-between a few relationships at the time. My boy BJS knew I'd had some ups and downs lately with women, including one or two that worked in our office. He was convinced I had mad skills as a player, and could get any woman I wanted. Anyone who knows me knows this is not nearly the case. At least not in my mind. I know it was a Friday night; we were out to celebrate just getting paid by knocking back large beverages. BJS and some of my crew (I was the boss of most of them) knew I thought the hostess at Keystone was really adorable; a tiny little college girl named Mickey, who was from out of state. She had that cork-screwy blonde hair that I like and a little bit of sass, and spent most of the year in The 'Lo. She had a boyfriend, but as a wise man once said, "Boyfriends aren't obstacles, they're stepping stones." BJS seized what he felt was an opportunity to prove myself and my game. He came up with an idea. He rationalized that since I had a crush on Mickey, I should do something about it rather than just talk. He said I had two weeks, because he felt there should be some pressure on me but not too much. If I got her number, he'd give me $50. The only caveat was it had to be legit...meaning someone in our group had to see it. And I did the right thing, the right way...I took his money, instantly. I excused myself, went to the bathroom, winked as I passed our table, and went up to talk to Mickey. And sure enough, I got those numbers...but I never got a date. We got close that spring to actually going out once, but Keystone kinda got in-between us. It was a Sunday...and we hardly ever went to Keystone on a Sunday, but the Sabres were making a deep run in the Stanley Cup playoffs, and the bartender promised us shots everytime the Sabres scored if we came in on a Sunday. The Sabres hung five goals on the Leafs that afternoon. I remember leaving the bar and staring into a blazing sunlight, hammered. I had to cancel my date, and by summer Mickey had gone back home, and Keystone was closed before school started back up in the fall. But BJS kept his word and paid up the $50. I'm also pretty sure on more than one occasion I was the influence on someone else's dares seeing the light of day (or debauchery of night). My buddy DJ Seanny would occompany us to Keystone sometimes, when he wasn't dj'ing at the restaurant in the mall across the street, Kahunaville. K-ville was like a giant bar/arcade done up in a Hawaiian theme. And it was DJ Seanny who coined the motto "When a story starts out with 'After we left Keystone...', nothing good could come of it." And was he right. We left Keystone and went to see his buddies over at K-ville. Seems they were having some kind of beef with the people who worked at the Jack Astor's upstairs. I maintain to this very day I don't know what the whole story was; just a war between the two most popular late-nite retaurants in the mall. So we decided to stick our faces into Astor's to see what was up. We sat at the bar and ordered some drafts. I don't think we actually got served though. We started chatting with a few girls, one I had gone to school with and hadn't seen in a long time. Things weren't really working out there conversation-wise either, and as two men who were having trouble getting served in a bar, we looked for some way to get noticed. Years ago, before they remodeled, when you walked into the bar area at Astor's there was a large metal garbage can full of in-the-shell peanuts. You went to the bar, grabbed a bucket, filled it with nuts, and left the shells wherever. Until the health department stepped in and said there were to be no peanut shells on the floor. DJ Seanny had a genius decision. However, it was clear after a night at Keystone, then K-ville, then striking out at Astor's, we were not geniuses. We were going to steal the garbage can full of peanuts. We had to wait until some of the crowd had subsided. I shit you not when I say that this was a real metal garbage can. I was in charge of creating a distraction while he set the whole thing in motion. I went over by the girls and grabbed the waitress. I demanded two pints and a round of shots, and Bang! Bang! Bang!, which was my cue to abort and GTFO. DJ Seanny was kicking this can, half full of peanuts, across the floor of the bar. I grabbed a handle, he grabbed a handle, and we were out before anyone knew any better. This was the most poorly planned heist of any kind in the long and storied history of shenanigans. Seanny's car wasn't even parked close to the entrance...more like halfway down the parking lot. And his car was a tiny Chevy Beretta. A two-door. Not made for putting a garbage can in the back seat. But we were in too deep now. We had to get this thing back to Kahunaville somehow. We couldn't get it in the car or the trunk. Which meant I had to hold on to it, while it was outside of the car. There's me, hanging on to this can for dear life in the mall parking lot. Sparks are coming up when the bottom of the can would bounce off the ground. It was a one minute drive that felt like twenty. He pulled up to the back door, set the can out and we parked. I waited for him by the mall entrance. It turned out his boss was pretty pissed. I guess we were allowed to talk a good game, but we weren't supposed to engage in activities of this nature. Furthermore, he wanted us to return the can and the peanuts. Which we did, begrudgingly. We pulled up to the mall entrance after dragging this can back up through the window of the Beretta, and we overturned it right in front of their door. And then, my friends, we grabbed a couple of 40's, headed back to my place to play Sega, and called it a night. BCF PROMPT: "What do colored Easter eggs make you think of?" I can assure you that this section today won't be as exciting. I don't recall pulling any stunts with Easter Eggs. I do know we colored them when I was a kid, but we were crazy poor back then. We didn't use the fancy egg dye kits. Just water and food coloring. No Paas eggs with stickers and our names on them for us. Just the straight up hard-boiled egg. And when there were too many colors in the water, you'd get a funky, ugly multicolored egg. You'd have to take a piece of newspaper, fold it up a few times, and skim off the old dye. We'd probably have a dozen, maybe two dozen, to color. And all I know is that for weeks we'd have hard-boiled, dyed eggs left over. Now, I'm a big fan of breakfast eggs. And I'm a fan of egg salad sandwiches for lunch. But a hard-boiled egg? To eat? No thank you. Too cold and rubbery. Not appealing at all. Especially once it sat for a few days and the dye permeated the shell. A blue hard-boiled egg does not a healthy salad or snack make. Ugggh. I wanna gag a little thinking about it. MUSICAL BREAK!!  "I'm a player, I play...don't play to win, I play to show..." VITAL STATS: Speaking of peanuts, I created a little fiasco after doing a little shopping at CVS the other day. Because I live by myself, I shop basically when I need something and don't buy a lot at one time. And I always get a reciept, just to make sure what I've spent is correct and see how I'm doing budget-wise. Plus I'm a stats-and-numbers guy. I like to see how much that stupid card on my keychain saves me.Last week CVS had a really good deal...Snickers Peanut Butter Eggs, the two-pack, buy 1 get 1 free. I know a good deal, and that's a good deal, yo. I may have bought (and consumed) nearly an entire case of them over the course of a few days last week. No joke. Come Friday, of course they were all out of this deal, and seeing that it's an Easter treat, would be til next year. But, they had bags of the regular, year 'round Snickers Peanut Butter Squares, on sale at 2/$6. Another good deal, yo. Until the cashier rang them up and they were $4.19 apiece. Wrong answer, cashier lady. I took her to the spot I saw them with the sign, and she gave them to me at the sale price. Crisis averted. I came home, sat down and cracked open the bag. What I tasted was a hell of a lot more disgusting than I expected. It seems the Easter Egg by Snickers is just peanut butter, nuts and caramel. The squares have that plus a layer of "nougat". This confection throws off the balance of everything and makes it all too sweet. And what the hell is "nougat" anyway? I don't see it charted with any food group I'm aware of. I decided I would return the unopened bag the next day. I went to look for the reciept. The two bags of candy were all I got from CVS. My Tops and Kinney reciepts were on my dresser with the contents from my emptied pockets, where everything ends up. I went through the garbage, and I went through the plastic bags. I tore my room apart looking for this damn slip of paper. Nowhere to be found. Incredible. Now I'm wondering if I even took it. I always pocket it. And having worked in retail before, I hate being the guy who returns things without a reciept. Now I'm stuck with a whole bag of Snickers Peanut Butter Squares I won't eat. The lesson here, kids: always stick with Reese's when it comes to chocolate and peanut butter. Well, I learned something today, and I hope you cats did too. Time to go out in the world and not repeat the same mistakes. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| 30DBC PROMPT: "Share with us your favorite St. Patrick's Day tradition. If you don't have one, think up a new one." Hello, and what is up? The wearin' o' the green is still happenin', it seems. And it looks like you have me to blame for today...because this looks like one of the prompts I submitted at the beginning of the month. It's only fair that if I can talk smack about other prompts, I should do the same for ones I contribute. I'm not even remotely Irish. There's no hope. The closest I'll get to being Irish might be ingesting a few pints of Guinness here and there. And I can honestly cop to having no real St. Patty's day traditions. I used to have a t-shirt with a four-leaf clover on it that said "Got Lucky" on it, which is about as close to celebrating the day as I would get. That and my limited edition green New York Mets hat. There used to be a corner dive bar down the street from 542, The Clover Bar. It was a hole, but my friends knew a bartender. We went there often because they would serve some of our underaged friends. It was not, by any means, a classy establishment. And just like most places I stepped foot in during my roaring twenties, Clover is no longer around. I can't say I stayed out of trouble there, but who goes into buildings of ill repute wanting to come out like a choir boy? I've probably failed to remember more events at Clover than most bars. I do, however, recall a moment spent there on a St. Patrick's Day. Although the name was Clover and there were shamrocks on the sign, there was nothing about this place that said "Irish". Same jukebox and dartboard, like every other place. Dirty old men crowded over their beers at the ends of the bar. And us. It was probably our usual crew...me, Verno, DMFM, my sister and her boyfriend at the time, and whoever else came along with us. We usually only went on Mondays and Wednesdays...the same nights as one of the bartenders we knew. That's how I know this occurred on a Wednesday. It was more crowded, probably due to it being a drinking holiday. I don't remember the song or the exact circumstances, but I was having a good time and wanted to get my sis' attention, but was having trouble being heard. I attempted to clink the glass of her mixed drink with my bottle of Labbatt Blue. I clinked once. I clinked twice. I raised my voice, said "Cheers" and clinked again. I wound up putting my bottle clear through her drink, turning the glass to pieces. I will be paid attention to! Like I said, Clover's long been closed. It was gutted and turned into a fancier establishment. I never went back...I wanted to remember it as the dive it always was. And I never really had a St. Patty's Day tradition again. BCF PROMPT: "When was the first time you really felt like a grown-up (if ever)?" Hmmm...tough call on this one. I was probably really young, maybe five or six years old. My parents divorced before I could remember, and since I was the oldest I guess I became "the man of the house" by default. When a visitor came to the door asking for such a man, I enjoyed seeing the befuddled looks when I said I was. I think I'm having a harder time searching for that true first "adulthood" moment. I don't recall the transition or what sparked it. Maybe I really haven't grown up yet. I don't feel like I've crossed the threshold yet. Part of me still feels like a kid that doesn't know any better. But maybe I'm a little happier like that. I don't feel the creeping death of responsibility or the slithering away of certain happinesses being sucked from my soul's grown-up. And I'm ok with that. MUSICAL BREAK!! I think you hear me knockin'. I think I'm comin' in. VITAL STATS:  Took yesterday off from life. Couldn't wait to get out of the house, and couldn't wait to get back home. Couldn't focus or concentrate. I'm still not totally feelin' myself today either. No energy, no motivation, and no idea what's wrong. That said, I take a day pretty much away from the internet, and WDC makes changes? I dunno how I feel about that. I'm not a big fan of change. I don't like my cheese being moved, if you're familiar with the book. But I suppose I'll get used to it, and wonder how I ever suvived before it.And that's all I've got for today. Gonna drag myself back home and see if I can sleep myself back into a better mood. Peace, go Sabres, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| 30DBC PROMPT: "Pretend that you see yourself walking into a room. What is your first impression of yourself? What stands out about you? Now change the room you are entering (gym, office, church, etc) How does that change your impression?" Hey people! A happy start of the weekend to you all! Now that we've got the niceities out of the way, let's dive head-first into the shallow end, shall we? It's known amongst different circles that there are a few things in life that I'm historically bad at. I can't correctly ballpark a woman's age. I could never hit a solid curveball. And I have a hard time with self-perception, even on my best days. Image is a tricky subject. I always struggle with it because I either have none or too much. And either way tends to cause problems...and either way I tend to over-correct. Balance, though I preach it, is not a strong suit of mine. But what the hell? Here goes! It's a crowded room. Most don't notice and carry on, but a few eyes open up and some smiles crack. Maybe some chatter gets redirected. Small talk turns into big plans, big plans become envy, and envy is a pass/fail proposition. Five minutes is all he needs to know if this is comfortable, or if the exit sign is ready to show him the way home. He's slowly opening up. There's two different laughs in this world: the "one size fits all", and the "unique and legit". You can see it in his eyes which one is which. The one that makes it up to his eyes starts at the belly. He's gonna take a lap around the room. The confident nod...he's gonna stick around. But watch for the fidgets. If a smile should keep going sideways, it could mean trouble. If we're here before boredom arrives, there's no telling how long we'll be here or where we'll wake up. I thought he brought that bottle of wine as a gift for the host! What?! He doesn't want a glass? Because it already comes in a glass? But that's a big bottle! I bet if boxed wine had straps on it, he'd try to rock it like a backpack. I thought I was only gone for ten minutes...what happened to the wine? Somebody needs to occupy his hands...never mind. Double-fisting Labbatts and a Marlboro. That crooked pinky finger can really ergonomically control a beer bottle! What's that? Shots?? Salud! Somebody needs to get him a shot glass instead of drinking the SoCo straight from the bottle. And he needs to put his pants back on! Ya know what? Just head him toward my car...we'll take him back to my place. Afterparty at my place!! Hey, turn the music down...turn it down a second. Where...where'd that son of a bitch go?? There was a whole sheet pizza here! Where's my bottle of Crown? And where's my gumball machine?? If it's so dark in here, why do my eyes hurt?? And what's with the marks around my wrists? Huh? Yes, uhhh, yes officer, that's my Mazda. Clothes? Yeah, they're mine. Gumball machine? Gumball machine?? No sir, no...no idea. It must've been a joke. What town is this again? Can I get some kind of courtesy? My uncle's a cop...uhhh, I see. I appreciate not getting a DWI. Can I have my shoes now, please, and I'll be on my way? I'd really prefer trying to piece together last night somewhere other than a jail cell. BCF PROMPT: "Write about what you think about that moment before you go to sleep." The whole purpose of sleep for me is to not think (although some may argue I've done a significant lack of thinking stone cold awake). I tend to be equal parts reserved and rambunctuous by nature, but I'm very restless when idle, especially when trying to sleep. Hence, Ambien! Nighttime used to be reliving the day in my head while worrying about the next one. And I still do a bit of that, but with slightly less anxiety and the tossy-turnies. I still need some kind of noise in the background as well...barely loud enough to hear, but not loud enough to get too sucked in to it. It's getting better, but sometimes I wonder if I was built to do any kind of normal sleeping...and that's sometimes one of the worst things to wonder while waiting to drift off. MUSICAL BREAK!! I swear, sometimes the background of this is what's going on in my head before finally falling asleep.  VITAL STATS:  How about a hand for my man Brother Nature  for offering up the prize for today's entry? Very charitable. I like little surprises like that...spices up the contest a little bit. I'm gonna hafta start getting creative...I remember back in the day when I first joined the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" , and once in awhile the comments would start to veer into something obscure and then I'd offer small prize for random trivia. Might hafta look into doing that again.All right. It's Saturday, it's still early, and my work here is done. Gonna finish up a few loose ends before enjoying a lost weekend back home at Gabel, where you'll probably find me under a pile of Saturday and Sunday newspapers. If you light a match I'm likely to come out. Until next time, peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| 30DBC PROMPT: "Life is full of incidences which are embarrassing when they happen, but become more and more funny as time goes on. Share one such story." Yeah, I'm about to say it. What's pop-and-lockin', people? It's Funny Friday! Or Fact Friday! Or, in my world, it's Not As Funny As I Think, And That's A Fact! Friday. See, around these parts, I prefer not to have to beat a dead horse. However, if I were a horse, I would've been studded out and shot a long time ago. Luckily, my racing career doesn't affect my livelihood. That all being said, there's little in the coming paragraphs you probably haven't heard before, only this time it's got a slightly different stink to it. Embarrassment is jumping over chopped up and burning wood, failing to stick a proper landing, dusting yourself off, standing up, walking away like you didn't just fall ass over tea kettle, and crumbling to the ground in pain because you seriously can't support 145lbs using just one leg on one side of your body. Funny is being able to joke about it three months after it happened, even if you still can't walk. Consider the dead horse flogged for another Friday. BCF PROMPT: "Are you the type of person who lives for the journey or for the destination?" Count me among those who are down for the journey. The destination is only a part of the trip...life doesn't not happen (excuse the double-negative) because you're on your way and you haven't gotten to where you're intended to go yet. Sometimes the destination is anti-climactic. How many Christmas mornings have you woken up absolutely believing your Santa Claus was gonna hook you up strong with a pony, but all you got were more socks? You spent all of November and most of December being good and hoping, hoping, hoping. Nothing. What a waste of being good! It's all about the road trip, and where it ends be damned. Break windows, smash cars, fall in love, hard work, spin heads, make friends and maybe a few bucks...no matter, 'cuz in the end all that stays is your rep when you're six feet deep. All that remains is the tale of how you got there. Believe that. MUSICAL BREAK!! Still feelin' old school today.  VITAL STATS:  From the "Don't trust the sender" files: As if it's bad enough that I'm at the local library nearly every day as it is, I also communicate with them via email. I'm fine with that, as most of the people who work here are neither friendly nor worth my communication efforts. I get an email reciept when I borrow an item, and I get a reminder a day before it's due. If I want something that's available at another branch, I can fill out an electronic request, and be notified by email when it arrives. This system works well for me.Today, I received an interesting email from the library. The subject line said: "Your request can...". I was intrigued. Was the library trying to share some new information with me? Maybe teach me about a new service? No. It was yet another way for this forsaken building to build me up and break my heart by effing me out of another free service funded by local taxpayers. Apparently, the subject line in full read "Your request cannot be processed". Or, what I hear: "We're not going to the other library in another county to get the book you wanted to read last November, and we're gonna pretend you never wanted to read it. Don't bother relying on us for anything, you loser." Effing jerks.  Well, I don't have great news. The doctor had my favorite nurse take the stitches out of my ankle today, and I still can't tell if she's pregnant or not. Not that I had anything to do with it if she was...I certainly have not had relations with that, or any other, woman in a long time. But it's killing me right before she walks out of the room and asks me if I have any questions for her not to wonder aloud if she's pregnasty or not. But I know there's lines you just don't cross, even for someone who's a habitual line-crosser, and that's one of the few I won't attempt.Oh, and for those of you keeping score at home, I still can't walk on two legs. Due to pain, soreness, and the right amount of swelling still present, I'm to gradually work myself off the crutch and out of the boot. And I have two weeks to agonize over accomplish this. Then, on April Fools' Day, of all days, will I find out if I'm going to need physical therapy or not. At this point (and I'm surprised it hadn't occurred to me sooner), I'm tempted to go home, take off the boot and my sock, and see if my foot sticks to the fridge due to any magnetic pull the screws that are still in there might have. If there are any science nerds out there who care to oblige my wonder before I further embarrass myself, I'd appreciate the input. And that's where I'm tying the knot on this balloon. Too much excitement for me to handle, that's for sure. Stay true to yourselves, and each other. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| 30DBC PROMPT: "What modern invention do you think is a waste of time?" What's up everybody? Through the miracle of modern science and technology (or...the names of two classes I once posted failing grades in), I'm here once again spending another afternoon on the screen of your computing device. Feels good to be reduced to pixels and small print. Let's not keep any secrets here, and get to the rub right away. As you can guess by the title, I'm gonna pull a little pro/con dance move today, given that we again have some sisterly prompts. Although the way they're laid out today is more along the lines of con/pro, but who's splitting hairs? For all its well and goodness, the internet is the biggest time-wasting invention of pretty much ever. Just ask anyone who's spent an entire afternoon playing Bejewled Blitz or Madden NFL Superstars on Facebook. We're not cavemen, thankfully. But bring me back to life anyone who died in 1970 or earlier and sit them down in front of a computer and ask them to Google something...anything. I guarantee they will look at you as if you've lost your knickers and are prancing around bottomless. People did actually make those types of embarrassed faces in pre-Reagan eras. You can't even call computers a waste of time. Take a popular computer from the eighties, the Apple IIe. You could only spend so much time on it before the black/white/greenness of the display gave you a seizure. And you could only play Oregon Trail just long enough to die of dysentery. And if you printed a banner longer than "Happy Birthday (your name here)" using Print Shop, teachers frowned a lot upon you for days because of your paper-wastin' ways. Computers without internet can actually be useful. But the internet itself? There is no single greater killer of time known to man. You can't doubt the potency of the internet's effect on our daily lives. You just can't. And tell me you can't spend eight hours trying to prove me wrong. Maybe in a library, trying to scour periodicals for info, you can. The internet, however, has made a legit art of wasterism. BCF PROMPT: "What is the one thing you cannot live without?" And on the heels of me calling the internet "the world's biggest waste of time", I also offer you anecdotal evidence that we, as humans, cannot live without it. See, eventually everything is going to be connected wirelessly at some point, and there's no sense in doing that without some kind of internet in place. Today it's computers and tv sets...in the future it'll be major appliances. Imagine your washing machine emailing you tips on efficiency, or your car sending you a text reminding you about an oil change, or your fridge telling you you're out of salami by fax, or your dentist alerting your toothbrush via bluetooth that you have a cavity, and sending out a "do-it-yourself fillings" kit to make repairs. This is the future, people! Embrace the technology! On top of all these fantastical thingamabobs we'll be able to dohickey internextically, I'd like to propose a little experiment: unplug your modem and/or router for one day. This works best in an office, or in a house if you live with one or more other people who use the internet. Yeah, go ahead, unplug it. You have my permission. Set a timer for 24 hours if you have to. And then sit back, and watch first the confusion, then the panic, and then the anger set in! The reactions will live on in family lore for years! You'll laugh as little Timmy's homework assignment is "lost in the ether"...you'll weep when little Susie's Farmville crops die. You'll twinkle with admiration of yourself as you watch your loved ones curse and frantically press random buttons, not realizing that they're so dependent on this vast mix of science, technology and power we call "the world wide web" (or "www", as the kids these days say). Notate the results of your "experiment". Remark the difference it makes in the day-to-day experiences within your household. The results may surprise you. MUSICAL BREAK!! Had to go old school here...it's the original "can't live without" accessory.  VITAL STATS:  Mountain Dew Kickstart orange citrus...the new beverage sponsor of choice around here. I don't actually have reliable home internet on a regular basis. I'm lucky if BlackBerry Central gets live once a week while I'm chillin'. I'll admit that the world can be a sad and lonely place without the internet sometimes. But the key to survival is knowing how to be resourceful. Insert your own punchline here. Here's a question I never thought I'd find myself asking in a million wasted years of time, via the magic of text messaging: "Is it legal to pimp livestock?" Walking...it's not for everyone. Definitely taking a crutch to the mall later. Not to the actual physical structure...no violence intended toward the mall. I mean a crutch to help me move my body. You get it.Ok...I'm off to find more questions there will never be enough good answers to, seek out more time to waste, and reap the seeds of doubt and cynicism I've sown across the blacktopped plains. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| 30DBC PROMPT: "Where do you go when you just want to 'Get Away'?" What's up folks? Somethin' new for me over here. I'm gonna try to surgically separate these Siamese twin prompts. And don't worry...I won't favor the better-looking one, I promise. Given that I've only lived here in Cortland a few months, I have yet to establish a "get away" spot. Although ideally back in my old hometown it was my ManCave, only with the satellite dish hooked up to the tv. That was my only complaint about an otherwise perfect situation. But here, once I arrived I had taken to walking. It's not a big place. However, a winter chill and a less-than-walkable leg cover up a lot of the locale. I've seen enough of the couple blocks I've been able to see thus far, and I'm ready for a different view. BCF PROMPT: "If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go and why?" I know I've seen this prompt somewhere before, but that's ok. Another day can come where I'll answer it in a different way. My obvious "get away" would be someplace that isn't here and probably isn't anywhere, really. I wouldn't have been there before and I wouldn't want to leave. Warm...that's a given. Remote too...I wouldn't want to be bothered by anything unless I bothered to be bothered. I suppose I'd need electricity...gotta power an internet connection and keep the beverages frosty. I've been on a cruise before. It was to the Bahamas. I'd enjoy that if I were the only one on the boat. Well, maybe someone to steer and serve me food and beverages. And some entertainment. Maybe a couple of companions, but mostly myself. No one to throw overboard, and nobody I have to watch my back with. I don't exactly have a pinpointable spot, but I know I'll know when I get there. I'll send ya a postcard, I promise. MUSICAL BREAK!!  And I don't care if I've posted this video before...this cd would surely come with me. The nautical voyage theme is persistent throughout We Were Dead Before The Ship Even Sank. Every great sea journey needs a theme song.  VITAL STATS:  Ok...this coming Friday will basically be three months since I last used two legs to get around. My doctor wants to see me walk into his office this Friday as well. Not double-crutch. Not single-crutch. No crutch. I'm a little nervous about that, actually. My boot isn't exactly a walking boot...it's almost rounded off at the bottom. I think it was designed just so people like me don't get any ideas and try to walk before they're ready. It has not inspired confidence in my healing, or in my ability to trust its stability. I'm hesitant to even try walking down a set of stairs in fear that I'll roll with the flow. Add to that the fact I'm planning a trip to a mall tomorrow (I gotta get out of the house, lktropuckr has to go shopping, win-win), and I don't know what I'm gonna do. I won't make it an entire night on two feet. But I don't wanna carry a crutch that I'll barely use. Ohhh, the quandry! You two-leggers have no idea how good you have it!And that's all I've got for today. Pretty uneventful. Nobody got hurt. Yet. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| 30DBC PROMPT: "Have you ever seen a ghost? If yes, describe the experience. If no, do you think ghosts exist and would you like to see one?" Good golly everybody! Ghosts! In March! And death! The return of morbid prompts! You'd think our old buddy Earl was around here somewhere, going, "We need more sadness, and more disturbing imagery." Well, I'm not having any of it. I mean, a little, ok, if you're offering. I very flatfootedly don't believe in ghosts. Not real ones, not fake ones, not cable tv ones, none of 'em. Same goes for vampires, zombies, werewolves, sprites, and fairies (and definitely not faeries). I will admit, however, to believing in cupcakes, hatchbacks, quarterbacks, shortstops, cardigans, punk rock, and underwear gnomes. But ghosts? C'mon, man. I got enough problems dealing with the living, and now you expect me to worry about the spirit of the once-living? For real? Emily  , during your powercleaning, what was in those solvents that made you think this was a good idea?  Just kidding.I can't even tell you what I'd do if I did ever see one. My imagination's roadmap doesn't have that route highlighted. I guess I have other places to go first. BCF PROMPT: "Write your own obituary. It can be for ten, twenty, or however many years you choose from now, or it can be for tomorrow - it's your choice." Not a very poetic entry so far...and I'm probably not going to redeem myself much here in the "Blogging Circle of Friends " either. See, I've probably written an obit for myself that has remained unshared more often than I care to talk about, and I'm a pretty morbid person at times (believe it or not). Writing your own obit almost seems like a faux pas, like faking your death just to see who'd show up at your funeral (an exercise I did once write about in a high school english class). Maybe it's just me. I don't like to brag talk about myself, who I am/was, accomplishments, etc. That's what my therapist is for, and even he probably doesn't get as much info out of me as he'd like, let alone enough to fill an entire obituary. I'd rather leave that kind of talk up to the people that know and love me the most. And I don't think I've met them yet. MUSICAL BREAK!!  Besides outlandish movie soundtracks from the eighties, this was the first song that came to mind. Great little band.  VITAL STATS: In lieu of a formal obit and in honor of blainecindy's "Trivia Tuesday", I am offering five seldom-known bits of information about myself. And here's hoping Cindy a speedy recovery! It's another Vital-Stat-O-Thon...  I didn't get my drivers' license until I was 19, and my first car was a maroon Plymouth Horizon. When I was eight years old, I auditioned for the PBS show Reading Rainbow. I didn't get the part. My eyesight was so bad, I wore tri-focals in elementary school. It helped enough for me to get back to single-vision lenses. I can't stand wearing a watch. No matter where I am, a watch on my wrist attracts a wall. Or a tree. Or any other stationary object, no matter how safe I try to be. Contrary to the beliefs of the general population in Cortland, I have never been skiing. I also never intend on going skiing.I hope y'all enjoyed my little foray into skipping around prompts and self-indulging. I know I've had about enough of it for one night. Peace, love, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| 30DBC PROMPT: "Yesterday, Sunday March 10, was the start of Daylight Savings Time. Research DST and provide us with your thoughts. Feel free to take this prompt anywhere you like." What's up dear readers? I'm gonna be honest with you...I have no idea what time it is right now. I've got two cell phones and neither of them gave me the "thumbs up" this morning to say their respective networks switched to DST. Now, this I could understand from the busted-ass Tracfone I rock when I absoutely need to conversate, but this is so unlike the BlackBerry. Of all the years I've been with you BlackBerry, this is the first time change I can recall where you didn't alert me. Ahem. All better. Now, even though I'm in prime east coast real estate, I myself need an occasional brush-up on what purpose DST serves. But not this year...I managed to take all my sleeping pills correctly and assumed whatever the time says it is on my BlackBerry is the correct time upon waking up. But then I walked into the library, and all of the clocks seem to have a different time. The computer I was on is two hours faster than my phones. The grandfather clock above the desk has arms that are too small to read, which is also wrong. And there's probably an old vcr in the basement that's always flashed 12:00 because nobody knew how to program it. I'm lucky I don't have to rely on this bastion of public knowledge to be anywhere today. However, my quest for knowledge never changes its time. In order to fully rectify my day with the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" prompt, I did what most people are likely to do: I used the internet. First, I went to Google to see what I could find. I skipped the first few suggestions out of habit. Or maybe superstition. Probably a little bit of both. Here's what I found...For hippies: http://www.webexhibits.org/daylightsaving/ For tech geeks: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daylight_saving_time For those living in the past: http://wwp.greenwichmeantime.com/time-zone/rules/usa/ Then I went to the next most reliable search engine: YouTube... For those concerned about their health: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T65SHDwsGJ0 For those concerned about fire safety: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1ixBRh-Utc8 For fans of The Get Up Kids: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqv5jXTc-d8 As you can see, there is so much out there that even I didn't know! And there's a way to learn it in a manner that's most comfortable for you. Thanks, internet! BCF PROMPT: "The topic is the death penalty. Are you for it or against it and why?" Yikes. The next topic is one I only have limited information about. That's pretty sad considering it requires my opinion, and there is no "turning to the internet" when it comes to opinions I might have posted in this here informational blast of opinionated internetical nonsense. That's not to say that I haven't thought about it. I'm sure I have at some point. I think the beast I'm trying to poke here is "I'm selfish enough to think that I'll probably never be put in a situation where I'll be facing the death penalty, so I don't have to care one way or the other". Yes, these are the things that go through my head while you're raising children to be good citizens. I suppose if it came down to it, a stance I could feel comfortable with you referencing me for my opinion online would sound something like this: While I don't advocate the use of violence or death to justify the taking of someone else's life, it seems as if some states in our great nation have made that decision for us already. As long as it is done ethically and humanely, whatever your state of residence when you commit the crime says, goes for me. Don't want the chair? Move to a state that gives you a needle. Afraid of needles? Rot in a cell on death row. Don't wanna rot? Don't get caught. MUSICAL BREAK!! There aren't a lot of songs about time changes, and too many songs about death. VITAL STATS:  What does DST mean to me as a single guy? It means there'll be less time in the day where I'll have to move the one light bulb I own to whichever room I want to use it in  . (Yes, that's a bachelor joke I stole from Dane Cook.)Ok, I think I managed to fulfill my obligation of educating the masses for another day. I hope this entry finds you well. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| 30DBC PROMPT: "Tell me how you would give a plot twist to one of your favorite movies. Perhaps try your hand at script writing." Hey everyone. It's a sunny Saturday afternoon! Let's talk about one of my least favorite subjects: movies. I shouldn't have to remind anyone that I hardly have a tolerance for cinematic adventures. My attention span? I don't have -what was the question? Therefore, I have a simple and obvious solution. Most movies are the effect of a character making the wrong decision regarding the plot within the first five to ten minutes. The movie itself is then fleshed out by over an hour's worth of even more bad decisions, debauchery, fantasy, and behavior that would likely get you and I arrested. After $12 in a theater (not including snacks and buckets of soda) and an hour and a half, a climax is reached. And 99% of the time, said climax would have happened in the first 10 minutes of movie-watching had the protagonist made the proper choices immediately. Hence, the first rule of Hollywood excess: turn five realistic minutes into 110 minutes of nonsense. Can you imagine if life really were like a movie? Instead of the average life expectancy being in the 70's, given the formula I used above for common sense to apply, we'd live to be somewhere into our 400's (and that's me not even trying to do math). You wouldn't be able to cross a street because of all the car chases. There'd be gun shops on every corner. Pauly Shore would've been to college with everyone (and perhaps live long enough to gradute...and not because it's "in the script"). You name it...multiply any movie cliche and apply it to real, everyday life, and tell me it doesn't sound absurd. BCF PROMPT: "If life had a "redo" or "rewind" button would you use it? If so, what situation comes to mind? If not, why?" With my simple, foolproof movie-making scheme, movies would be so short and sensical that all you'd need is a replay button. Life, however, is not so simple. Like most people, I have at least 12,367,218 moments in my life that could've drastically altered the course of where I am today had I done something different. From taking an extra second to make sure my shoes are tied or debating a little longer on what I want to eat, to passing on the big, baggy, bright red shorts I wore in the early nineties, those choices shape and define who we are for periods much longer than the time it takes to make those judgements. Like now, for instance...you're reading this entry, and you're feeling it, but you're not sure if you think you have something to say in the comments section. And then your phone rings. It's your job calling. You think they might want you to come in on your day off, so you ignore the call. You watch the videos, you laugh, and notice you've got a voicemail message. You'll check it in a minute because the washing machine's off-balance and buzzing. On your way down the basement steps, you trip on a shoe that you were too lazy to leave next to the door, falling down the stairs. You land on your hip pocket, busting your phone. Not only is it out of warranty, but your contract isn't up for another six months, and you laughed at the salesman who wanted to sell you the extended warranty, because you're a princess who never in her life would break her phone because she's so careful with her possessions...as you can tell by your now broken arm as well. With no phone and one arm, you go to work the next day only to discover that you need a second arm to do your job, and your snotty arch-enemy was promoted to supervisor over you...a position you were up for, had you taken the call...returned the call...balanced the washer properly...picked up your shoe and put it away neatly...or finished what you were doing in the first place, and left a comment after reading my entry. Now who wouldn't take that do-over? I know I would. You never can be too safe these days. Take it from a guy with a broken ankle. MUSICAL BREAK!! I would probably watch more movies if they were this short and interesting. VITAL STATS:  Really had a rough day yesterday. After my doctor's appointment, I missed my bus. Missing the bus means a half-hour wait for the next one. Went grocery shopping, but everything I needed was at exact opposite ends from everything else in the store. Stopped at the library to rest my legs and was feeling ill. A small child, age about...old enough to know better, was staring at the boot on my leg as if I'm horribly disfigured (more on that later) and when I finally made it home...here's a story. I live on the second floor of a three story building. The first floor is a bar. The door to the bar and the door upstairs are right next to each other in the front, with the door to the bar at an angle. Whoever invented this entrance needs his head examined. A man was walking toward the building and was headed upstairs, and he was kind enough to hold the door for me. As I was about to crutch over the threshold, a dude busted through the bar door, tagging me in the hip and forcing me to stumble into the upstairs stairwell. Fortunately, I was not hurt. The assailant got away on foot, leaving me the victim of drunken door opening. Since I didn't get a chance to participate in the "Funny Friday" "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" prompt yesterday, I just wanted to share that I really enjoyed the creativity of The_Cavity has wisdom teeth! 's post, "Invalid Entry" Ahhh yes, my appointment yesterday. Good news. The x-ray tooked good. The ankle is pretty much back where it should be, even if it still looks like my knee tried to swallow a softball and my foot decided to choke on it. The holes from the two removed screws are filling nicely. But my bone density is bad (bones are supposed to be white on an x-ray...mine's grey).  The doc says it's because I was great about staying off it as much as possible. Go figure. But I'm down to one crutch now and hopefully walking on my own by next Friday. Time will tell. I am happy to say though that I've almost perfected my pimp-like limp with a crutch instead of a cane (or hoes). And it's not just little kids that overstare their usefulness! Coming into the library though the side door so I could use the elevator, I arrived just before a very elderly couple. I swung the door open and hopped behind it, very obviously making an example of my desire to hold the door open for them. The old guy awkwardly tried to get into a space where there was no place to get behind me, insisting that I go first. He wanted to hold the door for his wife I assume, while I was demonstrating that whatever's wrong with my leg isn't as bad as her legs because she's got a cane. We argued over who would go through the door first a little longer than I expected before giving in and going ahead. As we settled into the elevator the wife looked at him and said, "Do you think you're going to find anything today?" The man stood there silently. He found something all right...the giant boot on my leg. Like he's never seen a broken body part before. What's up with people staring?? I think that's worse than random strangers asking me (without making eye contact first) what happened to me.Ok, enough of my complaining for today. Time to edit and take the night off. And unless my house gets struck by an amazing bolt of lightning or some other miracle happens, I'm probably gonna take tomorrow off since I won't likely be near a computer. And not like my blog header actually warns you about offensive material, but if offensive material isn't your thing, you might wanna skip the closing clip for today, even though I find it hilarious in my own odd little way (and not in any offensive kind of way, nor do I mean for anyone to be offended by it...oh, what the hell). Y'all been warned. Peace, have a great rest of your weekends, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| 30DBC PROMPT: "Write about your opinions regarding something currently in the news. Please provide a link to the story or a brief summary of the article before stating your opinions on it." Good afternoon, folks! Bear with me for a minute as I try to sort my thoughts. I'm attempting something I haven't fully tried before. I'm gonna toss a few prompts, links and videos into a blender just to see what happens. It's probably going to end up like an amputee or another person who's lost the use of a sense but another sense does some kind of overcompensating or becomes stronger. In my case, my sense of organization is starting to go haywire. Maybe this doesn't qualify as news, but it appeared in a newsletter, and it's news to me. Now, in addition to the Blogging Bliss newsletter that I mentioned yesterday, I subscribe to three other newsletters on WDC: poetry, authors, and romance/love. And yes, as soon as I log in on Wednesdays, those last three newsletters get promptly deleted from my inbox, unless I know for a fact I've been featured in one beforehand. And besides Blogging Bliss, I can probably use two hands to count how many years it's been since that last happened. So it's been brought to my attention today from Ida_Matilda_Wright Help that this slice of overexciteable internet lusciousness that you're currently reading was mentioned in this week's comedy newsletter. Isn't that cool? I didn't even know there was a comedy newsletter! I'm so mystified by this information that I don't even know how to share that all with you without linking the entire newsletter and attached review to it, so you're gonna hafta take my word for it, ya hear? Unless you actually saw the newsletter itself.And I appreciate the kind words, Ida_Matilda_Wright Help , for likening these words that I write to a party in my lobby. Add that to my resume, Wordsmitty ✍️ ! Now onto the next part of today's entry...CIRCLE OF FRIENDS PROMPT: "Are there any circumstances when you can be justified in losing your temper?" Luckily, I did manage to peruse some headlines on MSN and Yahoo this afternoon before I sat down. I'm usually not quite as prepared for one prompt, let alone two. Now, I prefer to keep my cool, but sometimes I feel pushed enough that I end up reacting unfavorably. I think this is, at times, a normal human reaction, but don't confuse me with knowing any better. I suppose that's probably why I'm not entrusted with many major decisions, like what to do in this situation: http://worldnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/03/07/17220065-un-passes-sanctions-despi... Three letters: WTF?? How are people not panicking like it's the end of the world?? Geez, in Buffalo and I'm sure tons of other fine cities, when there's the threat of more than eight inches of snow, everybody over 35 is crashing their cars into buildings trying to buy up all the milk and toilet paper and canned goods. Yet North Korea wants to turn the United States into the world's deepest parking lot, and the only emails I've gotten today have been from dating sites, people wanting to follow @Fivesixer on Twitter, and companies that want to increase my penis size. Uhhh, how's about there's not gonna be a Twitter if North Korea dials the magic number, know what I'm sayin'? We've got bigger fish to fry right now, people! Shouldn't someone be organizing another Hands Across America (Google it...I'm tired of doing all the work for you today) or something? Maybe building underground bunkers made of canned goods? Is the threat real?? I don't know! Why don't I know this? Why isn't there an uproar of panic in the streets like a giant dinosaur is crushing the city? Why? Because...repeat after me: It's not gonna happen. I think the media's just trying to scare us. Look at it this way...the government hasn't figured out a way to properly televise that kind of destruction, or make a profit off it. And Korea won't have a country to sell Nike sneakers in at a 110% mark-up. It's all bluster. Nobody's going home and beating their wife or getting shitfaced over Korea wanting to drop bombs. So keep calm and chill. Go watch hockey or somethin'...where real North Americans can teach you how to properly lose one's temper effectively.  MUSICAL BREAK!! http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/morrisseys-15-most-outrageous-quotes-2013... Like I said, sometimes the best stories come in my email. Sure, this doesn't qualify as news, but it made me grin in a way I wish real news would. The world is a better place when Morrissey's pissed off. VITAL STATS:  lktropuckr has confirmed that I am nearly technologically unreachable by phone, text and nearly every email account I own. Within the course of a few minutes after yesterday's entry went live, I received a few offers from her to borrow her flash drive. I even managed to respond to one of them, declining an offer through one email account, only to notice another text a few minutes later offering again. I'm tellin' ya, no one is a master of crossin' wires more than your boy here. And I did remember my flash drive today, but thanks...only I don't have the patience to deal with picture editing today.And on that note, I've got some t's to cross and lower-case I's to dot, so I better be gettin' a move on. Peace to Asia, the motherland, the States, and Penora Street. GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| 30DBC PROMPT: I didn't really look because I don't really feel like interacting with the others today. CIRCLE OF FRIENDS PROMPT: I didn't really look there either, because I still don't feel like playing nice today. What's up everybody? Just stopping in to say hi, clean up some emails, let y'all know I'm still alive and whatnot. I just haven't felt right or up to par since surgery last Thursday (and some will argue that I'm never feeling quite "right" ). I'll tell ya, those people at the hospital did a seriously good job of prescribing me pain meds, because just when I'm starting to wonder if they're working or not, I'm firing off rambling text messages and agreeing to watch cheesy chick flicks with little-to-no added incentive. Ah, me.I at least want to announce that once I get back into the swing of things here at trusty ol' WDC, not only will I rejoin my peeps in the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" , but I've also joined up with the "Blogging Circle of Friends " . I also recently received an email from blainecindy, who graciously asked me to add a little something to the "Blogging Bliss" newsletter, an offer I plan on accepting as soon as I get back to her.I do plan on doing some updates to the header up there as well (I think I mentioned that before). Ya know, smash a coat of paint up on the wall, rearrange the furniture and update the upholstery. Subtle touches. You'll notice them, and you'll like them. MUSICAL BREAK!! I can't remember if I posted this video a week or two ago when it first came out, but I'm posting it now because every now and then I like to freshen up the beats. So here's the new joint from http://www.rhymesayers.com/ artists The Uncluded. Dig it. VITAL STATS:  I know I'm late at getting around to this, but a huge congrats to Emily for the Best Blog at during this year's Quill Awards! I was gonna finally post up some fun broken ankle pics, but I'm having trouble getting them fixed and stored and uploaded. Maybe another day. Eventually. At least I have the album started, even if it's set to "private" for now.
And that's all for today, folks. Gonna try to get some catching up done if the space in my head allows. Thanks for stopping by. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| 30DBC PROMPT: "If you were supreme ruler of planet Earth for a day, what changes would you make?" Hey everyone! What's happenin'? I'm glad to say I'm over my little dookie fit about yesterday. The only problem today is that while I've given myself an ample chance, I haven't done a great job of clearly thinking through today's prompt either. Which means one of two things: it's gonna suck, or it's gonna be awesome. First, I'll say this one time and one time only: as the king of this rock, the third from the sun, all bow down. That's it. Bow once, and just fist-bump me later on whenever you see me. It's cool. I have a threefold plan for what I'd do in my time as The King Of The Third Rock. Follow the path with me, friends. 1) World peace. I'll make it easier than it sounds. Eff the Euro...all currency will be universal. That'll eliminate some confusion, and confusion can often be interpreted for dislike and occasionally distrust. Trust = harmony. Harmony = compromise. Compromise = peace. It's that simple. However, I may have to change a few languages along the way. Maybe rename some countries too. Brainwash some of the bad guys. I can do that, cuz I'm the king. Also, hopefully sorting out a universal currency eliminates debt and means everyone's budgeting and paying bills. It's a one-time reboot of global economics. Sure, some countries are gonna wind up bailing out others, but it's all about the "long run/big picture". 2) Return the power to the people. Hell yeah! Banks, lawyers, pharmaceutical companies, the NRA, big tobacco, career "Kardashian" politicians (politicians who forgot why they were elected and now are politicians just for the sake of being politicians), all of 'em...I'm clearing them all out and instituting smaller, leaner, better governments that actually care about the vast majority of people and not the bullshit 1%. That old statistic where "97% of the world's money is controlled by 3% of the population"? We're gonna fix that too. Of these mawfuggers, by these mawfuggers, fo' these mawfuggers...errrrrybody gets a say!! 3) Eliminate death. Like I said, I clearly haven't thought this all the way through. But obviously we've lost too many talented people at such a young age: Jimi Hendrix, Kurt Cobain, Jam Master Jay, hope for Buffalo sports, Redd Foxx, the guy that sang "Rico Suave", the dude Dick Cheney shot in the face while hunting, J.R. Ewing, JFK, MLK, Danny Kaye, the chick in that Jodi Piccoult book...the list goes on and on (and please don't email me to remind me of who I left off this list...any omission is accidental, coincidental, and I'm under a strict bullshit meter here). Now, I understand that the way things work in this day and age is that death is a part of life. What I'm calling for are stricter regulations on stupid people, making it easier for them to just, ahhhh, keep the herd thin, if ya dig what I'm sayin'. That way, this rock doesn't get too crowded, and the people who do stick around are worth keepin' around. In closing, my fellow denziens of this third rock that we all share, may your dreams be big, your ambition bigger, and your accomplishments the biggest. Unless you're stupid. In that case, thanks for playin'...now make some room for the rest of us. MUSICAL BREAK!! Normally I'd never post something this long, but I came across this and couldn't resist. I may never fulfill my destiny and become "the supreme ruler of the world", but I'm still the king of this frenetic dose of internet chicanery, and will answer to "Sire". Plus, it's way awesome and who knows when I'll even have a chance to sniff the wonders of Youtube next? VITAL STATS: Like today's prompter ember_rain, I too did some food shopping today. Kind of a last-minute run-in at one of my least favorite stores...you know, that mega-big deep-discount giant box retailer with the smiles and crap? Yeah, I went there. I should get a job there, because there were some pretty good lookin' ladies crawlin' around that excuse for a Chinese sweatshop. On the recommendation of Brother Nature , I looked into their motorized carts. Y'all know I've had some unlucky business dealings and negotiations with them in the past week or so. Luckily, I had a friendly companion (lktropuckr) with me to push a manual shopping cart around, because I get the feeling I could've started World War III with all the buttons, switches and gauges on those machines (and is it World War 3 instead?? Do we use Roman numerals for wars too, or just for Super Bowls and counting like Romans?). I swear, remember back in the day when cell phones weighed a couple pounds and came in bags that you'd carry like a suitcase? It's nice to see that the keypads of those phones have been recycled onto those carts so you can phone in your deli order from the sock aisle, report an attempted cart-jacking to customer service, or reach out to the automotive department when your cart gets stuck in the cafe. Man, they think of everything in these stores!Alright dear readers, friends, random strangers and playa haters...I'm out to edit this and call it a night. While I'm gone, keep your hands to yourselves, your eyes on your own papers, and make sure someone waters the plants. I'll see y'all at some date to be determined in March. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| 30DBC PROMPT: "All men consider themselves to be smarter than women. That is their great tragedy. All women allow them. That is theirs. What are your opinions on this? Do you think this applies to your life as well? If yes, is it correct? And if not, have you ever seen anybody treated as this." Hey folks. That's quite a prompt we've got today. I never feel like there's one solid right answer whenever this topic comes up. It always feels like no matter what, someone is gonna get offended, someone's gonna take something outta context, or general pissiness will ensue. Allow me to tell you a little secret about me to break the ice. I'm not one of "all men"...I don't think I'm any smarter than women. True story, bro. I know a lot of women are smarter than me. What I'm really saying is that I'm smart enough to admit it. Add these to your list of gender-defining myths: I read owners' manuals, I stop and ask for directions, I put the toilet seat down, I'm not afraid to show emotion, I can cook a decent meal, and I don't need to hold on to the remote control while watching tv. But these are all the basis of rants for a better time. I'll do my best to address the matter at hand. I'm gonna struggle to further explain myself. Here goes...I don't need to bore you with the bad choices I've made, many of which came against the greater wisdom of women in my life. And sure, while final say comes down to me on matters that pertain to me, it's not like I do it blindly. I consult when necessary, and often if possible. I'm not above taking a woman's advice as long as it makes sense. Sorry y'all...I'm having a hard time pretending the phrase "all men" doesn't rub me the wrong way. Ahem. Let me try to reboot this discussion. I'm not religious, at all, but if there is a higher power, it's a woman. I'm not gonna spit facts and data because I don't have any, nor is it necessary. It's my opinion, however, that women are more organized and often more sensical. Women are nurturing. Hell, women are trusted to put life into this world! Men couldn't handle that responsibility. I know I couldn't! I'd be afraid of screwing that job up somehow, thinking I could do it myself and ending up needing thousands of dollars' worth of extra work done to cover my ass. Everything that is beautiful comes from women. That sentence sounds familiar to me. I don't know if I read it somewhere once or heard it in a song or what, but I believe it. Again, I think I'm missing the point. I think we need to stop worrying about who's smarter, and learn how to live with each other for who we are. Play to each strength and help with every weakness. Makes sense to me, but I'm just a guy, so what do I know? MUSICAL BREAK!! I think this can sum up a lot of things: "Everyone's afraid of their own life." VITAL STATS: I'm pleased to announce a slight change in the way things'll be done around here soon. Nothing big or major, and nothing that isn't being done elsewhere. It's just that after 300+ entries, it's time to tweak a little. And on the heels of that news, tomorrow's likely going to be my last entry for a couple days. I'm not sure how I'll be feeling after surgery on Thursday and how comfortable I'll be in getting around. I'd like to guess I'll be back by Monday, but no promises. Of course, I might decide I'm bored and be back this coming Saturday. I have no idea. Guess we'll see. I just don't wanna fall too far behind in an official "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" month.Ok...I'm off to do things of lesser importance. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "Give us a serious opinion, analysis, or persuasive opinion of the Oscars, their meaning to you along with the hype, glamour, and actions/comments by celebrities - winners or losers. Quotes from people or articles about the Oscars should be used to support your position. Leave the actual films out of it!" What's up y'all? According to Wordsmitty ✍️ , it's time to get serious up in here. It's always serious up in here, in one way or another. Why should today be any bit more extra-special serious?I wanna get the quote part of this entry out of the way in a hurry: "Nothing can take the sting out of the world's economic problems like watching millionaires give each other golden statues." -Billy Crystal I saw that on Facebook this afternoon and couldn't stifle my chuckle.I didn't watch the Oscars. Gasp! I know, right? I didn't watch them because I don't own a tv right now, but I can assure you that if I did own a tv, I still would not have watched the Oscars. Let me put it to you in another way: there could've been the hottest chicks in the world there, with free booze, all the tacos I could eat, in an easy-to-read format, with convenient side-closing strips, covered in bacon, and I still wouldn't watch the Oscars. Now, some of you who've made it with me this far today might ask me why. In lieu of a good reason, it simply isn't my thing. I didn't see any of the movies. I don't really harbor many, if any, actress crushes (and don't play the "What if..." game with me, because we both know Katherine Heigl isn't coming home with me anytime soon), and I have better things to waste a good worry on when it's a Sunday night. And that's my word. I never understood the allure of the Oscars, honestly. At least the Grammys have nothing if not interesting musical collaborations. What's the purpose of watching these people wearing something they're likely to only wear once, with their hair did all crazy (let's be honest...nobody looks like that if they're taking the kids to the dentist), groping on a trophy that's shaped like a dude in what's probably a once-in-a-lifetime (unless you're Denzel Washington...then it's sixth-in-a-lifetime and counting) experience? That there really exists a market for this marked example of celebrity celebratory flogging is above, beyond and through me. I read a newspaper. I shaved. I ate some Triscuits and a few pieces of cheese. All of this meant a little more to me than the Oscars. And I hate shaving. I really do. Probably more than I love cheese, and I really love cheese. MUSICAL BREAK!! Because this is my luck sometimes. VITAL STATS: So, I was told during my meeting with the anasthesiologist this morning that I'm not allowed to leave the hospital Thursday under my own power; I'm to have a "responsible adult drive me home and be with me for 24 hours after surgery". Responsible? Child please. On second thought, maybe that's not a bad idea, because... The other day I mentioned how I tried to go grocery shopping using a motorized cart, and how, well, let's just say it didn't go great. I don't know what's gotten into me, because today I assumed I must be a pro at driving these damn things.I was starving after my appointment, and the same grocery store happened to be on my way home. I decided I'd get a microwave pizza and eat in in their little cafe. Not a great decision, but probably the best one of the day. So there I was, mindin' my biz and cruisin' down the end of the beverage aisle. I went to bust a left and drove my motorized meatwagon right into a dude. Perfect timing. Knocked him back a little. I was pretty embarassed...another situation where in the process of trying not to do something you end up making it worse. It was ok though; the guy wasn't hurt and we exchanged apologies. I then waved him by to cross in front of me, to which he said, "No. Kick that thing into high gear and go ahead!" Me: . He was unaware that these things don't have a "high gear". I figured that nothing worse could happen after that. Not that what I'm about to say qualifies as "worse", but it's just my luck. I got my pizza, heated it up and drove into the little seating area. I ate and hopped back on my hog to take me to the front of the store. I turned the throttle, and...nothing. Wasn't moving. The battery was charged, the button indicating I wanted to go forward was pressed, and yet I wasn't moving. I started rocking back and forth in my seat, thinking I could just will the thing into moving. That wasn't happening. Remember when we were kids and the store had those kiddie cars in the front that you could "drive" for a quarter? I felt like the kid sitting on one of those rides without the quarter. The scene would've been complete if I'd been going "vroom vroom" as well. I didn't know what to do. I didn't want to be rude. I wanted to do the right thing and not be that guy. But I think you know where this is headed. I did what the majority of y'all woulda did...I got on my crutches and got the eff outta dodge as fast as I could. No lookin' back, cuz if you look back you know someone's gonna be like, "Hey you a-hole, put the cripple cart back where you got it!" But since I didn't look back, that didn't happen. I know what did happen though; I know I am not to be trusted by myself in a grocery store with a motorized cart. One last word about the Oscars...there were a few articles I came across in the newspapers I read about the host of yesterday's program, Seth MacFarlane. The best thing I heard? One of the commercials leading up to the Oscars featured him saying, "Ask your kids", in reference to older viewers possibly not being aware of who he is. And just like that, we've reached the end of another entry. Always look both ways while grocery shopping, peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "Write a short something using the words 'stones' and 'bones'." What's the good word y'all? Seems like Brother Nature doesn't have any for the prompt, so SapphireRainee gave us two words for today, which, given the circumstances, sound like "open prompt" to me. And that's good, because I have a story to share for a change and there hasn't been an open mic night around here in awhile.I will be sure in the future to watch what I say about the elderly or handicapped. As I'm sure some of you are aware, in December I fractured and dislocated my ankle, along with a few torn ligaments. There's a plate and a total of seven screws in there now. It's not the first time in my life I've broken any bones, but this has been the most inconvenient, as I am or at least try to be an independent person. Yesterday, for example, I tried to go grocery shopping by myself. The two closest grocery stores aren't within safe crutching distance, I really needed lunchmeat, and was unsure when I might be able to get a ride, so I took the bus. That part wasn't difficult. Now, since I can't walk, I figured I'd take advantage of those motorized shopping carts they have for handicapped and elderly. You know, you sit down and drive 'em around, and they have a basket in front for your shit. No problem! Yeah...these things have the top speed of a baby crawling. Now, before I continue, I want to share two things I've learned while using crutches to get from all points "A" to all points "B": 1) People don't care if you're on crutches if they're walking and you're in their way; and 2) Just because a building is "handicapped accessible" doesn't make it any easier to get in or out of. The first point...people are just plain rude and ignorant. I always give up the seat on the bus or trip over myself getting out of peoples' ways...but there've been a few times where if I didn't move at the last minute from a stationary position while on crutches, I would've been easily walked into. Maybe if these dudes weren't too busy trying to make eye contact with me they'd see the need to take a step over. And the second point...I get it...there's a fair amount of physics involved, but if you look at it and think about it, handicapped ramps leading into buildings are longer than staircases, and are often positioned out of the way from regular, unhandicapped people and their path. True story. Anyway, back to yesterday. So I'm cruisin' around Tops Friendly Market primarily to get some lunchmeat and snacks. This motorized cart is going .000002mph. And fools are looking at me like they're not getting outta my way and I won't try to hit them. And if I had nothing better to do, I would've hit them. But believe it or not, those things are hard enough to drive as it is, especially when you're trying to balance your crutches in the basket because they don't fit, and there's a pedal on the floor of the cart that is neither gas nor brake. I got the goods to make sandwiches and remembered my secondary mission: to get Slim Jims and Reese's Pieces Pastel Eggs, because the CVS across the street from me is useless and doesn't carry dietary staples or Easter novelty necessities. I conveniently remembered this fact as I passed a display of Easter candy, oddly enough at one end of the beverage aisle. I needed to be in the beverage aisle anyway, and assuming my good fortune, tried to turn around to get some Mountain Dew. Now's a good time to note that these carts don't drive like cars. Or anything else that would make sense. I knew spacing in the aisle was tight, but I had plenty of room to make a three-point turn. However, the start/stop on these machines is very herky-jerky, and you have to press buttons indicating "forward" or "reverse", and instead of a steering wheel the handlebars have more like throttles, but they don't rotate the way you'd think they would to logically make the damn thing go, and instead of a three-point turn in a cramped aisle it was an eight-point turn that ended between bags of white cheddar propcorn and Marshmallow Peeps. And I, in the driver's seat, was perpendicular to the aisle's parallelness. In all of what seemed like four seconds, I think I made 37 different movements, including assuming that pedal on the floor of the cart was a brake. With my left foot. The one with a giant inflatable boot on it. But I was too panicked between worrying about hitting things and hitting things to notice that. Eventually, I made it home. I settled in and made myself a sandwich. As I was seated, I noticed a little pain in my ankle. I had the boot off, as I'm allowed to do when I'm at home. I started poking around near the big scar for the first time. I felt it...for the first time, I felt like what felt like the head of a screw, right under my skin. It felt gross and awesome at the same time. It didn't feel quite as awesome when I awoke in the middle of the night because of my foot, and had a harder time getting back to sleep. I also realized that while I spent over $50 on sandwich stuff and crackers and Dew, I totally forgot Slim Jims and Reese's Pieces Eggs. I wasn't happy. I figured about the only thing that could've made my shopping trip worse would've been if Tops had the motorized carts in the back of the store and completely out of the way. MUSICAL BREAK!! Two words...Little Bones. VITAL STATS: Unless there's some kind of miracle and I've got internet access tomorrow, I'm taking Sunday off in the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" . Because it's Sunday. It's my day of rest. Besides the hockey emoticon, here's an updated list of emoticons WDC needs to add to their arsenal: white bread, wheat bread (or toast), handicapped, wheelchair, motorized wheelchair, bus, smart ass, In Your Dirtiest Pants 's "shit, son", martini glass, beer mug, and cowbell.It's Saturday...tired of draggin' my stones around this town for another week. Gonna head home, make a sandwich, watch the first season of Sanford And Son on dvd, catch some rest, and call it a weekend. Peace, and two words...GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "Tell us what your favorite nominee is in the "Invalid Item" and why - exclusive of the blogs nominated (I think we get enough of that). No selecting yourself either." Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen of the voting population! Allow me to introduce to you my homegirl, Debbie Downer. She's just here to oversee my feelings and make sure I don't get too out of hand today. Alright. Glad I got that little disclaimer off my chest. It's been one of the more interesting months in the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" , hasn't it? Some solid and outstanding work by the vets, and some really intriguing work by the newcomers as well. It's my guess that the 2013 award for Best Blog comes from this February's entrants. That's about as willing as I can get into this guessing game.But this isn't about 2013. This is about 2012. Have you seen that list of nominees? Man, it's huge! Congrats to all, especially my peers, for the nominations. I know y'all deserved it. I'm on that list twice myself, but I'm not allowed to say much about it. You can form your own opinions about that. It's actually the second year in a row that I've been nominated for Best Blog and Best Comedy. That's cool. I remember last year at this time, some of us in the 30DBC were still trying to figure out how to get out from under Sister Mary's thumb. We lost a few great competitors and writers over that mess. I remember saying "I don't care about having the best blog this month if I have the blog of the year!!" Or something like that. I won neither the 30DBC nor The Quill that month. (But it's worth mentioning that The Quill for Best Blog was won by a great writer and person, Julie D - PUBLISHED! ...congrats one last time, Twinner!)I'm okay with not winning a Quill again this year also. I've read a good amount of the people I'm up against...it's a solid group and I'm proud just to be recognized along side of some great people. But while it'd be nice, a Quill doesn't make me. It doesn't change the struggle of my ways. It doesn't add to what else isn't there any more than what I add when I wake up every day. It doesn't totally validate me or what I do. It just means it's among the highest forms of recognition I'll get, which again, is nice...but there's over 15,000 bits of recognition this item has received over time that to me are every bit as important. Believe that. As for who I'm voting for, well, that's between me and your maker. But I can tell you what the biggest injustice in this year's ceremony will be: it's that Brother Nature wasn't nominated in the Best Nature category. Good luck to all the nominees...especially the ones in Blogging. Picking a favorite from all of you would be like trying to sniff the color nine. But if you make me a sandwich, that could tempt me to up your cool points a little. MUSICAL BREAK!! It's not all about the awards. Tell 'em, Flav. VITAL STATS: An ironic part of this library's rules regarding noise states: "Some people come to the library for the sanctuary and quiet." Explain to me then, Cortland Library, why you choose to vaccuum the carpet in the middle of the day? I know of stores in malls with even lower standards of customer service that don't vaccuum during hours of operation. Speaking of ironic (or maybe moronic) rules, another is the one about cell phones, and how they must be "turned off at all times", yet I do the majority of work on my cell phone and I haven't been reprimanded (yet, but give it time I'm sure). To further illustrate the idiocity of this rather inane "rule", a librarian-type chick always walks around with her phone in her back pocket (and I'm not ashamed to admit how I know that) and has, on occasion, answered it. And this is not only the same building that has a "cell phones off" policy, but also offers iPad training courses. In fact, a woman with midget-like arms is sitting at the table across from me furiously tapping and dragging her fingers along the screen of a tablet device that is making more noise than me, my Blackberry, or my gum-chewing (which is probably another no-no here also).Ok, I've done enough whining for today. Sister Mary would've been proud, I'm sure. And since there are no sandwiches forthcoming, I'm off to edit and then go get my own. No cool points today. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!  |
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I'm glad you read and enjoyed this, Ann...I know if I were ever presented with the same situation again I wouldn't be as uncomfortable. It's amazing to see how things have changed in five years...I can only imagine how much perception has changed over the last 50. I've always felt that gays were no more or no less than anyone else, and you're absolutely right that they are just like everyone else in 99% of activities. And if that 1% is what creeps people out, well, it's none of their business anyway...and there are better, more tactful ways to respond than with hatred.
