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 |   A little bit of everything, colored my own way. |
 BLOG CHALLENGE WINNER FOR SEPTEMBER 2011 AND APRIL 2012!! ** Image ID #1901871 Unavailable **  After almost a year away, I've decided to revisit Blogville. I'm refreshed and ready...this time around it'll be a little different. I'll talk about a little bit of everything...music, sports, retail life, and more. It's not for everyone...you might not like it, but someone you know (and possibly detest) probably will! WHO THE HELL DO I THINK I AM??  We're gonna find out one way or another!  Relax, enjoy, leave a comment, tell your friends... A special thanks to Julie D - PUBLISHED!  for the 2011 Quill Awards image!"There is only one way...it is THE WAY." -Photo Jesus  "Can't you count to one??"  Thanks for stopping by and showing your support!  |
| THE PROMPT: "Electricity is a fairly new invention. Think of 12 things you can do when you don't have power. What's your favorite and why? I would say keep it clean, but look who I am talking to. LOL" What's up everybody? Hmmm...what to do when the power's out. I see. Good thing I'm kind of an expert on this. About five years ago at 542 I had to go a month or two without power. No joke. I was going through AA batteries like crazy just trying to keep my cell phone charged. And I was lucky I had put batteries in an old boombox during a previous power outage just so I had some beats. Now, mind you, even though electricity has been around a little longer than some are aware of, I said I'm only kind of an expert. I never specified what kind.  [Author's note:  And what's up with the "look who I'm talking to" crack? I keep my shit clean, yo!]Here ya go... Fivesixer  's time-tested ways around a power outage:12) Conversate. This works even better if you're by yourself, because there's no one else to interrupt you or question your opinions or views. 11) Blog. I did often during the nights I had no power at 542. Using a battery-powered charger, I could bang out an entire entry on 2 AA's and have some juice to spare. 10) Read. For those of you who remember what books are (the things with covers, binding and pages) this shouldn't be a problem. For people with Kindles, Nooks and other instruments of the destruction of the printed word, consider your bed made during any type of situation where you rely solely on electricity and how it's affecting you now, sinners. 9) Try to eat everything in your fridge, and be creative! You don't know how long the power's gonna be out for, and you don't know how long the food's gonna stay good for, so now's a good time to find out if chunky milk really does taste like yogurt, or if ketchup really does go on everything. 8) Play "Obstacal Course" with the furniture. If you're really good at this game, allow your pets to play too (and make sure you award bonus points for such feats as "avoiding fecal matter" and "not breaking the goldfish bowl"). 7) Count to 12 twelve times. Then count to 12 twelve times times 12. Keep doing this until you're really good at it. 6) Check on your neighbors. If they're home and their power is on, ask them why they don't like you. If they're home and have no power, ask them for wine. If they're not home and they have power, find a way in and pretend you're house-sitting. And if they're not home and have no power, they must really not like you, so use their mail slot to "relieve" yourself of their rudeness. 5) If you check on your neighbors and they don't have wine, start looking for new neighbors. 4) You can dance if you want to. You can leave your friends behind. Because your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, then they're no friends of mine. 3) If a problem comes along, you must whip it. Into shape. Shape it up. Move forward. Look ahead. Try to protect it. It's not too late. To whip it. Whip it good! 2) Stop, collaborate and listen. 1) Set things on fire. This will generate heat and light. Some objects will also generate not only different types of flames, but also different smells. I hope this list helps. Good luck, and safety first! MUSICAL BREAK!! Because with the lights out, it's just dangerous... VITAL STATS:  Man, am I kicking myself for not coming up with the idea of using song lyrics until I was well beyond halfway done. What was I thinking??{E:emoticon of guy pointing finger to his head like he's smart}: I think what we just did is an exercise in figuring out what people did in the world before we came along. Like, did electricity exist before I did? What about the moon landing? Nintendo? You mean people got out of their cars to get their value meals?? I'm pretty sure I had some crueler, more revolting things to say, but I promised myself that I wouldn't compromise my talent, integrity or intelligence by stooping so low as to use profanity, foul imagery or lewd behavior with my words. Which means it's time for me to go do something else with the rest of my evening. Peace, and GOOD-frickin'-NIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "It is said that we all have a child inside us. Write about what the child inside you asks for. Whether that child is still living or is suffocated in the whole hustle-bustle of life?" What's up? Welcome, from both myself and my inner child. Oh, he's alive, folks. Very much so. And he's a he. How do I know this? Because it makes sense, and it's my blog. Now, before I go wasting time I don't want to waste, who exactly is it that said we have a child in us? Was it Freud? I hope it wasn't Freud. No, for real, who has it been said by? I'd like to know, if and when I decide either to thank that person or kick them in the shins. My kid is a lot like any other kid, and you know how kids are these days. Always asking for money, McDonalds and more cowbell. Kids, I swear...they don't know the value of hard work or the reward of a job well done. Mine is no different. He's always staying up late, falling head over heels for the loose women, and leaving the toilet seat up. The only rule that seems to apply to him is that he makes the rules, and breaks them as well. The hustle-bustle of life? That's a joke to this kid. He seems to relish in proving that there's no such thing. Clearly, success hasn't spoiled him and failure's just another reason to try again. The kid's fearless, and not in a "I'm gonna part my hair on the right side today" kind of way. I'm talkin' immortal..."Dying of embarrassment" isn't in his vocabulary. For all his faults and flaws, he's pretty amazing. He does things I wish I could do, and he does them in his sleep. Someday, I'm gonna figure out his secret. I'm gonna find that kid. I'll clone him and sell him off to crazier nations for big money. Maybe science can figure him out. Maybe they'll find a way to stop him. Or maybe he'll become bigger than anything imaginable...bigger than slap bracelets, silly bandz and Chia pets. And maybe, just maybe, I'll grow up to be just like him. MUSICAL BREAK!! Don't be jealous of my pumped-up boot. VITAL STATS:  I have chocolate-covered bacon in my possession, and I'm thinking that you don't. Alright folks...I'm out of here. I just got word there's a sale on cloned pieces of meteors down at the store that sells rocks, and it's supposed to be stellar. Keep looking for it...there's no joke in there. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "Tells us about a issue or cause that you feel most strongly about. Also any ideas you may have to improve the situation." What's up, dear readers? I want to express today how grateful I am to have a forum where I can share with others the issues that plague not only society or our great nation, but Brother Nature  's nation too. I have something I want to engage you all with, and I hope that maybe by shining a little light on this information and putting our heads together, we can come up with a solution to this problem that benefits everyone for generations to come.There appears to be a deficiency regarding the presence of the cowbell in music. Currently, there are no known factors for this appalling oversight. However, it is an encouraging sign that people have yet to cease their rump-shaking on the basis of this disturbing trend. However, please remember that rioting, violence and other forms of protest will not be tolerated, as indecent as this tragedy is. Friends, the time for action is now! There is a terrible void at the entrance of our ears, and it's waiting to be filled by cowbell. Each day, millions of children will never get to experience cowbell in their favorite songs. And cowbells across the globe sit idly on shelves, just waiting for a clang that hasn't been struck. You may find yourself asking, "Self, is today really my day?" And yourself will answer back with, "Yes...grab the cowbell!" And you will. You'll have liberated the underrated musical force of all time. Can you feel it? It's the true sound of happiness. Do yourself a favor, and add more cowbell!! MUSICAL BREAK!! A primary example, if I may say so, of the need for more cowbell. VITAL STATS:  Well, it's official. Mark your calendars, save the date, smoke if ya got 'em and hide the kids...on February 28th, at 7:30am (my time) I'll be at the hospital having the screws in my leg removed. Got the call about it last night and subsequently missed it, so I found out this morning. There's hope that I could be walking this spring after all.Well, I think I've caused enough problems around here for a day or so. Time for me to go bother the others. Peace, more cowbell, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "Most people listen to music. It also seems that there are songs that instantly pull memories from the dark recesses of our brain to its forefront. Pick 2 or 3 songs that have this effect on you and tell us about the memories they invoke." What's up everyone? Ya know, it's funny...I was sitting around the other day, really missing my laptop and my iPod. I love music...that's pretty obvious. I can't wait to reunite with my cd's...they haven't made it to Cortland yet. I've got tons of memories attached to so many songs, I could probably score movies if I wanted to. I'm picking two songs...the first two that come to mind with memories intact. And I'm sticking with two because to my knowledge if you try to embed more than two links in WDC's entry form, they just show up as giant blank spaces. Not cool, homies. I love making lists and mixes. I love sharing music and different songs with people. It's a universal language. This first song shows up everytime I think about making an autobiographical mix cd. At its essence it isn't totally about me, but here's some history for you: in January of '92, my junior year of high school, I was on the wrestling team. We were goofing around in the practice room before a meet. We made up a game called "Powerball". It was like basketball, but we played with a volleyball and used the chin-up bars on each side of the room as our nets. Dribbling was optional and since the chin-up bars were low, it was easy to slam dunk. Oh, and you could tackle the ball carrier. So like I said, we were screwing around before a meet, playing a quick game of 3-on-3. Now, the room had padded walls all the way around it, except where the vents were. I was under the basket with the ball along the wall. There was a nasty pile-up that I was the focus of. With my right arm cradling the ball, the other five players hit me as I hit the wall, breaking my right shoulder. I was done for the season. Fast forward to that summer. I was trying out for the football team. After practice one day, I was having a lot of trouble lifting my right arm. I had gotten a decent amount of reps that day and just figured I was sore. But the next day after practice, I couldn't use my arm at all...I could barely get my pads off. I had broken my shoulder again. Again, I was done for the season. All I could do was heal and hope I was better in time for wrestling season. It was a rough time for me. When the season started I wasn't medically cleared for contact. I could do conditioning drills, run, and lift weights with my lower body. I couldn't use my arms, nor could I practice. After warm-ups, while the team drilled, I'd strap on my headphones and run. Sometimes I'd run the entire time...up to two hours. I wanted to hit the ground running when I could start practicing again. I had a specific goal...I wanted to come back exactly one year after I first broke my shoulder. I primarily listened to two tapes during my training. One was Public Enemy's Greatest Misses ("Tie Goes To The Runner" was exceptionally motivational), and the other was Check Your Head by The Beastie Boys. And to this day, whenever I hear this song, not only do I think about all the effort and training and hard work I put in on the road toward a comeback, but I think about how positive the message in these lyrics are. It can be uplifting at times. "If you can feel what I feel, then it's a musical masterpiece/ if you can hear what I'm dealing with then that's cool at least." From that point on, I was hooked. The second song...this story happened maybe five or six years ago, maybe more. Me and my boy DMFM went down to see this band at one of the dirtiest, rawest, nastiest clubs you could see a show in (The Showplace Theatre...now closed). It was a small venue and there weren't a lot of people there...maybe 100 if that. All in all it was a great show, and seeing them live was everything promised. They're crazy dudes, flying all over the stage with their guitars, jumping around, hair going everywhere. Easily in my top five favorite concerts. After the last song, the lead singer yelled "Group hug!!" He and the rest of the band jumped off stage into the crowd, and literally, it was just that...one big group hug. We stuck around after the show, and the guys were just hangin' out like regular dudes. We talked to them, got a few pictures (I had the first Motorola Razr phone with a great pic of DMFM and the guitarist, Hippy Chris) and Kenny, the singer, autographed the record we bought. Between beers, cds, the record, and other merch, I think DMFM spent way over $100. Crazy money. Stayed out so late he had to crash at 542, and his girl was pissed. But whatever. It was a great time...been a long time since a show was that much fun. And that's the memory that comes to mind when I hear this tune. There are way too many other songs that bring back good times. I could be here all night talkin' about 'em. I'll easily probably think up a few more on the way home. There's always a song goin' in my head. Music...it's a beautiful thing. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!   |
| THE PROMPT: "Write a letter to someone you strive to be like. (Of course, whether you send them the letter or not is up to you.)" What's up folks? Thanks for taking some time out of your day to stop by. Hope I can do you one back myself soon. Today we get a prompt from ember_rain. This is the stuff college entry essays are made of, kids. I'm here to tell you it's ok to fail this part of the exam. There are many people in multiple fields I admire. Most are famous for one reason or another. I don't think any are famous solely for being famous, which is good. Some, ok, most, are musicians. There are a few athletes, but as my body gets older and my physical skills diminish I'm less likely to strive for an end zone, hit a home run or dive in front of a moving puck. Authors? It's hard to strive to be like any certain author...paths are forged and diverse. And I don't know of any actor I'd like to be. If I had to write a letter now, it'd probably be to my former self. Ya know, "look out for danger, or else"...that kind of stuff. There's a part of me that still strives for what I was in the past...ambitious, hopeful, daring, and everything else when you're too young to know better. I'd tell myself not only what to look out for, but what to hang on to as well. We don't always realize what of ourselves we trade away for years of experience. I know this is certain: there's no kit you can buy in any store, no book you can read, no hero with a manifesto or anything with the title "Building A Better Me". We weren't given an owner's manual when we were born. All we can do is the best with what we're given. That's why any letter I write would be best served by going back to myself. MUSICAL BREAK!! I'd probably try to send myself a mixtape too (I didn't get a cd player until I was late in my teens). The end of this song is, I think, filled with words everyone has uttered at some point. VITAL STATS:  After a lot of thought, I got past my anxiety and emailed my letter of intentions to the Cortland Standard. I was honest about my experience. I was realistic. I'm hopeful but not stupid.I don't really have a whole lot more to add today, folks. It's the cusp of another weekend...hope you all enjoy it! Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!  |
| THE PROMPT: "It's Valentines Day. Free prompt to write anything about love or an opinion on the subject." Hey y'all...how's everybody doin' today? I almost contemplated not participating in the festivities this fine Thursday. Wordsmitty ✍️  had to bail us out with a prompt...had I stayed up maybe five minutes later last night I would've gotten his email with the Costumicon bribe (of which I forgot to thank you for, so thank you, kind sir), and of course I woke up to no working internet this morning...go figure. But that's not my excuse.It's Valentine's Day...that dreaded celebrated Hallmark holiday. I really want to not have an opinion to share, but dammit, I can never seem to shut up when I know I probably should. So, since there's a prompt, I'm gonna drop a few thoughts. Like most people, there are two versions of me on February 14th: the romantically-inclined significant other, and the bitter, angry, single male. Three guesses as to which guy I am this year (and if you need three...see that red "X" at the top of your screen? Click it now). Last year at this time I was making homemade chocolate truffles for my so-called "loved one". This year I will be eating Girl Scout cookies for dinner courtesy of a friend. One year I did nothing but listen to the Deftones' "White Pony" album over and over while attempting to drink an entire 12-pack of Smirnoff Ice (I recommend the song "Elite", and strongly advise against Smirnoff Ice). Romantic music, poetry and a trail of rose petals ended up in an argument a few years ago. It's sad and true that too often in life the things and times remembered most are the events that hurt. The good times are always overlooked by bad. At least, no matter how hard I try to change my outlook, that's how things end up. I realize that this entry's going downhill in a hurry. If you're going to take anything away from my words today, let it be this (and it's the same thing I say about birthdays and other holidays, because it's the mawfuggin' truth): If we spent a little more time on a daily basis treating everyone like it's a special day, people wouldn't feel like crap on fake "special" days like today, and the world would actually be a better place. And I'll be the first to admit that I for one am guilty and need to do a better job of listening to my own advice when it comes down to this. Enjoy your flowers, cards, candy and love. Save me a peanut butter cup. MUSICAL BREAK!! The live versions I found of this song just weren't suitable. This will have to do. 364 days out of the year I preach that love is the answer, it's all ya need and it's the greatest thing...and on one day, the most "important" day, I act like there's so many better things in life. It's hard to reconcile love when what you have to look forward to isn't love, or at least isn't love in the way you intend for it or it is meant for you. At this point I'm talking circles around myself and what I'm really trying to say, so I'll just shut up now and enjoy the damn song. VITAL STATS: I lied about eating Girl Scout cookies for dinner. That's only because I just got some and haven't had time to properly freeze them yet. And don't look at me all weird...you ain't livin' 'til you've had a frozen Samoa. Dinner instead, presuming the weather has held out, will be a treat...a microwavable calzone from the Sunoco station and Orange Livewire Mountain Dew. And if I get there and neither is in stock, then peanut butter cups it is. Seriously...all you lovers out there, have yourselves a great Valentines Day. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "They say necessity is the mother of invention. Write a short story (no min or max words) on when you were in such a situation, and what you invented to fill your emergency need." Hey folks, what's up? Today's prompt comes from Ria , and it's a good one. I like tellin' old stories. Now, excuse me for a minute as I think of one, because I've only had all of last night and today to come up with one, and I'm sure I've invented lotsa crazy little things in the past. I've gotta think of a good one rather than just the first thing that comes to mind.Before I do that, a word if I may. Necessity isn't just the mother of invention. Sometimes being broke is the father of improvisation too. I've found that there have been instances in my own personal experiences where you have to do whatever you need to do to survive, and that includes making do with what you've got. You've got to be resourceful and willing to stretch out a little beyond the confines of normalcy. It may not always be pretty, but if it's functional then that's better than going without. Alrightey yo. I'm off my milk-crate soap box then. Let's let the prompt-rocking commence. I'd like to tell you a story that you might've heard before. About ten years ago, maybe more, I was living at 542 at the time. I know this is an older story because I still had a roommate, Double Barrel D. 542 was essentially the entire first floor apartment of a house, including the basement. It was a pretty spacious two-bedroom set-up. The main entrance we used was through the dining room, toward the rear of the house. The other doorway led outside through a hallway, but also led to the rooms and apartment upstairs. We didn't use that door partially to respect the upstairs tenants' privacy, and partially because it was deadbolted and we didn't have a key. We had a really bad snowstorm. I'd liken it to being close to what the northeast had this past weekend. It certainly was one of the worst I'd seen at 542. I knew I wasn't going to be able to go to work, and Double Barrel D stayed home as well. It was your typical Buffalo "grab a six-pack and stay inside" storm. How did I know it was bad? There was three feet of snow in the driveway. We were physically snowed in. Crazy Becker was one of the guys who lived upstairs at the time. I don't know where he had to go, and sometimes I couldn't understand him, but he was hell-bent on trying to dig his way out. His door leading outside- near our deadbolted door- was about halfway up the driveway. Between the three of us, I think we only had two shovels. Becker tried for about 10 minutes and gave up, saying something about the fire department. Whatever. I tried opening the screen door against the snow, and could barely budge it. DBD didn't know what else to do. I was finally able to work the door open enough to get my hand outside, when I had an amazing idea. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed a cookie sheet. It was the first thing I could think of that was big enough and thin enough to maneuver around and throw off snow. Not even my hockey stick or goalie stick were of any use at that point. I wrapped my arm out between the door and the frame and started flinging snow like I was panning for gold. I eventually made enough room to be able to open the screen door so I was able to get out. One problem: Crazy Becker and DBD left the shovels by the other door. I had to run back inside, tracking snow through the apartment, and go through the door we don't use to get the shovels. After about a half hour of shovelling I had barely made it halfway down our driveway. I was beat and cold. I stopped for a moment to catch my breath, and a fire truck pulled up. Six guys jumped off the truck, and within five minutes had the rest of the driveway cleared. I hardly had a chance to thank them before they were off. Turns out Crazy Becker had called the fire department and told them he was trapped inside. And as for my inventive use of the cookie sheet as a makeshift snow-throwing apparatus? All DBD could do was whine that he had just bought it, and now it was bent and ruined. Poor guy.  MUSICAL BREAK!! A classic, back from when that MTV still played those things called "videos" that made them all popular and stuff in the first place. VITAL STATS:  I had one of those "it's small town but it feels like home in the big city" moments today. I was outside the social services building waiting for the bus to go to my appointment. That's kind of like the hub, pretty much, for the buses...all the routes begin and end there. While I was there, a questionably appearing man wanted to know if I would buy his bus tokens off him. This, ladies and gentlemen, is the new panhandling. He didn't just ask me for a dollar or some change. He used the time-honored tradition of "bartering", in which he takes something that he has an excess of and tries to trade it for something you have excess of that he needs. Genius! And he wasn't shy about it either. See, most people back home who try to pull this, they're either not going to tell you what the money's for, or just say they're going to buy food. Nope. This shady cat straight up told me he "needs to get some tobacco", would sell me a bus token for a dollar (which, coincidentally, is the going fare for a one-way bus ride), and that he only needs $1.65. I told him all I had on me was tokens, and he responded with, "Well, I guess you don't need mine then!" and was on his way to the next set of benches. And at those benches, people were almost going crazy trying to help him out! He got his money...but what I found funny about all of this was the woman who bought the tokens from him actually had to ask this man how the tokens work as currency to get on the bus. He was courteous enough to not only explain to the woman how to use them, but that when he came back (with his tobacco, I assume) he would show her if she was taking the #3 bus, and that his name was Anthony if there were any problems. Like this guy's the freakin' commissioner of traffic or something. Yeesh. Second place in the invention division would have to be the foot covering I used on my cast when I first broke my ankle. In order to keep my exposed toes warm, all that would fit over the cast was a hat that was created to look like a sock monkey. The drawstrings kept it secure, and I was able to remain comfortable (or as comfy as possible) and dry throughout the winter. Speaking of the stupid ankle, here's the report from the doctor today: the x-ray looked good. The incisions looked good. It's crazy to hear a nurse call scars "beautiful". I have to go back next week, basically to sign some consent forms and what have you, and wait for a phone call after the nurse figures out some logistics, but basically the doc's gonna pull the screws out at the end of the month. And although he reassured me he's done it plenty of times before, he just had to caution me that "hardware removal isn't an easy thing". Great. Then he went over all the complications, the issues, and what happens if the screws break (again). And then, the worst part: I'll probably be in the boot for another four weeks, assuming all goes well and the holes in my bones from the screws heal. Let that sink in for a second. Holes...in bones...yeah.Well, I don't know about you, but I've had about all that I can stand for one day. I think I hear the orchestra cueing up to play me off. Stay warm, peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!!  |
| THE PROMPT: "Hey Hey Hey.. It's FAT TUESDAY!!!!! Mardi gras is French for Fat Tuesday, referring to the practice of the last night of eating richer, fatty foods before the ritual fasting of the Lenten season, which begins on Ash Wednesday. Use the following words in a flash writing or poem: New Orleans, street car, beignet, mask." What's happenin', folks? Fat Tuesday it is, isn't it? Alrightey then. (Having recently watched the movie Zack And Miri, I'm going to hold off on making jokes about celebrating certain days of the week... I don't wanna get too offensive in here.) I have to confess that I'm not really into the whole Mardi Gras thing, which is weird being from Buffalo...we're known to use every excuse we can to party, and from what I've been told Buffalo does Mardi Gras pretty well. It's certainly no New Orleans, but then again where else is? I also have to admit that this little area of the internet that is under my control is a decidely fiction-free zone. I think I made that clear a few hundred entries ago...ask Sister Mary how that discussion went down, because she blocked most of us for having too much common sense. I also have a hard time writing anything on command these days. I can do it, but I don't like to. I like to take my time and not work under pressure. I feel like I'm racing a clock when someone tells me what and how to write and what to include that goes beyond the basic measure of a prompt. I mean this of course with no disrespect to SapphireRainee or her prompt. I think it's a great prompt actually; it's just one that I know I'm going to struggle with. I guess I'm thankful that this is an unofficial month in the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS"  . Unofficial months make it a little easier, believe it or not, to try and stretch out your writing a little bit and step out of any "comfort zones". And with no prize looming over your head, there's no attempts to mask any discrepancies with one's lack of knowledge regarding anything to do with the prompt. Or to put it another way that completely means nothing to the point I just raised, there's no need to worry about trimming the fat off an entry to make it fit into something more desired.I'm getting away from the main issue here though. I didn't even know what a beignet was...I had to do a https://www.dictionary.com lookup just to realize publications had been running recipes for them in the last two weeks or so during not only the run-up to Mardi Gras, but also the Super Bowl (which was just held in NOLA). The Cortland Standard and The New York Times were only two such publications out of many, I'm sure. Up north, the tasty treats are called "doughnuts", but we don't put little plastic baby Jesuses (is that the correct plural form of Jesus?) in them...usually either jelly or cream if anything. I wonder if I can come up with another paragraph that starts with some form of "I". I'm sure it's been done before. I can probably do it. So, um, yeah. This wraps up my report on the Mardi Gras festivities here in Cortland. Not much going on from where I sit. So, ummm, be careful, stay safe, do that thing with your shirt to get beads, and watch out for random street cars if you've had too much fun. MUSICAL BREAK!! Can't talk about New Orleans without throwing in a good tune. Although I'm at a loss for real NOLA beats, this will suffice. VITAL STATS: Big doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon. The future of my broken ankle hangs in the balance. Well, it's not quite hanging. But I'm crossing my fingers that we'll be talking about surgery to remove the screws relatively soon. Kinda hard not to think about it.And I think that's where I'm gonna leave off tonight. I'm gonna tie up a few loose ends around here and hope that I get lucky when I head home...two straight nights of pretty much unbothered internet access might spoil me! One can hope. Anyway, y'all have a great evening, peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "It is said that, 'You are as old as you feel.' So...How old do you feel? (You don't have to give up your age if you don't want to, but indicate whether you feel younger or older than your actual age.)" What's up, y'all? Happy Monday, if there is such a thing. Hell, like I used to say...any day I can stick two feet on the ground and point two eyes at the ceiling must be a good day, right? Then I stopped sayin' it for awhile, cuz not every day can be rainbows and lollipops and lottery winnings. So my man Brother Nature 's come up with a pretty interesting prompt. And I mean that in a good way. I've seen a lot of prompts in multiple instances of the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" , and this is pretty unique. I hope I can do it some justice.Now, let's assume that I'm at least of sound body, and not struggling to make it up and down the stairs on my busted ankle as it is (and I'll hold off on the "sound mind" portion of this; that window closed awhile ago). I have no problem admitting first off that I'll be 38 years neutral in a few months. I say neutral because I don't feel I'm going anywhere agewise. However, I'm not above making a case for inclusion on either side of the fence. On one hand, when I was 18 a doctor told me I have very little cartilage left in my knees, which is why when I bend down they crack and click like they're their own deep African tribe. I sometimes have to pull myself up by means other than my legs. The first few hundred feet of walking on a given morning require significant effort sometimes. I say these things when it's just not enough to say, "I have bad knees". To that effect, I often feel like a man much more than 37 years neutral. On the backhand smash, I'm still a big kid at heart. When the maker was handing out maturity, I cut class and went to the liquor store. When I shave, the cashier at the convenience store proofs me for gum because I look like a little kid. It's not just in my nature, but my constitution to misbehave whenever possible. You'll never accuse me of having grown up if I have any say in the matter (and judging by who's typing this entry and the handle on it, it looks like I do and you don't). On a good day, it's very easy to say I feel younger than my age. So which is it? Much to the chagrin of ex-girlfriends, former employers, the saints behind the counters of fast food restaurants, the jerks in their double-parked Oldsmobiles and the old ladies who love them, and The People's Voice Of Depew, I'm unofficially not at liberty to be the one who decides that at the given moment. I have my moods, days, and ways, but nary a straight answer on the topic at hand. MUSICAL BREAK!! Hard to believe this song is over twenty years old. It totally doesn't seem like it. Then again, I'm bad with age guestimating. VITAL STATS: The local newspaper, The Cortland Standard, has advertized an opening on their staff for a reporter. This excites me, as I someday want to grow up enough to have another full-time job, preferrably within the media. The ad is pretty liberal in listing the qualifications, which actually works out in my favor because I pretty much have none (outside of an internship I had back in my senior year of high school writing for the local Pennysaver). It's not a big paper, and it's not a big town...again, factors that could possibly work in my favor.Now, I'm debating whether or not I should go for this position. Part of me is like, "Well, all they can say is no, right?" And part of me is absolutely terrified that they'll say no (with snickers). Here's the dilemma: I currently own no proof of my actual newspaper experience (which isn't much besides writing nupitials and summarizing scores of local tee-ball games, although I did score two major stories and worked my way up to covering my school's baseball and softball teams). Also, they want writing samples. I'm hesitant to use this here dabbling of internetical awesomesauce as a sample of my work because frankly, the only standard it supports is my own, which might or might not be enough to break me into the published world of people who get paid to have their words in print. And my only other writing samples are the poems in my port here at WDC. So I'm curious to hear any advice and opinions about this. Ironically, speaking of poetry, the same paper is featuring a "Poetry Page" in a few weeks, and I'm considering entering a submission for it, but I haven't a clue. Most of my writing hasn't made it to Cortland yet, so pretty much all I've got is what's on the site for now. So I've got that to think about also. Anyway, that's enough of me and my problems for the time being. Besides, I've got more pressing issues...like where to go for dinner: the gas station, the drug store, or home. I hope that your problems aren't as troubling. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "All of us have been shaped by many stories. Tell about the story which affected you in some manner--positively or negatively." Greetings folks. Hope it's a lot nicer wherever it is you're doing whatever it is you do than what it's doin' here. It hasn't stopped snowing since I woke up, but that's not why I'm here today. The prompt says we've been shaped by many stories; a fact I cannot dispute. But that's just a part of the man, myth and legend that is me. Stories written by others are but one small percentage of factors that have led me to become who I am, and ultimately those who will get to know me best will have done so through the stories I've created by having lived them first and then lived through their retelling. See what I did there? Now, that's not to suggest I'm gonna blow off the prompt completely. Like many of you, I've read a decent enough amount of stories, and have probably forgotten most of them. What I'm really saying is that it's hard to pick just one. See, today I could feel influenced by one author's story, tomorrow it could be by the movie I watched the night before, or the last song I heard on the radio. I could draw this prompt 365 days of the year and probably have 365 different ways of mangling, owning, or avoiding it entirely. But I'll be a good little fishy and play along properly to the prompt with the first story that at least comes to mind. Got it. Ok. It's On The Road by one of my favorite authors, Jack Kerouac. It's an easy choice because I heard it was being turned into a movie, and I'm in the middle of rereading it. It's not the writing or the characters or even the story itself that I identify with, but more like the soul of it is what has drawn it to me. For years and years and years I had sworn up and down, to all that would (and wouldn't) listen, that I'd never leave Buffalo. I was as stuck to the area as it was within me. But life's funny sometimes. Circumstances happen. And last year, I up and left my hometown for good (or as close to good as can be). I had only a couch to sleep on for a night, a few clothes, a few bucks, and the name of my new hometown. That was it. Operating under so much uncertainty is not my preferred method of doing business, but I didn't have much choice. And so I went off. I'm still trying to figure out how it all comes together, both between me and the book, and my life in general. I do feel a kinship at times with Sal Paradise, but sometimes no more than other poets, singers or leading roles. I guess this is just one example of many. MUSICAL BREAK!! Hooray for free wi-fi working today! Boo for a crazy northeast snowstorm droppin' mad snows on my little town. But I guess if I were to pick a little song to break with at the moment, it'd be something reminiscent of On The Road. Bob Dylan comes to mind. So does Neil Young, or maybe Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young. I did actually watch the entire "Director's Cut" of Woodstock (the original one) the other night...all nearly four hours of it. Go ahead and treat yourself...anything Woodstock-ish goes. VITAL STATS:  Like I said, it's snowing like crazy here in Cortland, and probably will through the night. The last forecast I saw called for two feet. Everytime I look out the window it just keeps comin' down harder. At least I have one other entry from earlier in the week started, so I can kill a little time and make use of the wi-fi signal I'm actually getting today.  And just like that another entry's in the book. Stay warm and safe kids. I'm gonna hit up a snack of some cheese and crackers, maybe cruise around WDC a little more, watch some Chappelle's Show and Mind Of Mencia on dvd, and take those pills that let me rest. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "It's Weeble Wobble Wednesday!!! Think back, waaayyyy back, to when you were a kid. What was your favorite or most unusual toy? Tell us about it!!" What's up y'all? Just stopping in to kill a couple minutes, that's it. I've decided to make use of some municipal wi-fi, since my Blackberry can find signals at home yet refuses to connect to any open ones. So, we're talking about kids' toys today? Specifically, the ones from our youth. Gotchya. Ok, simply put, I was a Lego child. Or, umm, I played with Legos...I wasn't a child made out of Legos. Although that would be pretty cool. It would redefine the term "baby-making", for sure. Actually, I came across an article recently, I want to say in Time magazine, about a new generation of Lego kits that will be available...they're like customizable with iPad apps and stuff, so you're basically building your own robot. How friggin' sweet would that be? Gimme a minute to see if I can find that article on a real computer... Well, here's some of the damn article. Guess you have to subscribe to something with money that you can read for free in a doctor's office. Stupid internet. http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2133320,00.html Anyway, that's so much more than what I could do as a kid, and I had a lot of Legos. I had one of them fancy sets too; although back in the '80's that fancy set just included some rubber bands and a pulley-type contraption that my pre-teen mind could never figure out how to work anyway. Hell, even if I had that same kit today I doubt I'd be able to get it working like it's supposed to. It always seemed like the big fancy kits always had one crazy step that would get ya hung up on. Then you start looking ahead at other steps and digging through all your other Legos, trying to devise a plan as to how you're going to modify your way around one step, which goes from three to eight steps, and turns your "Space Shuttle Launcher" into another parking garage for your stupid Hot Wheels cars. No, I'm not bitter about my childhood engineering skills!! Why do you ask? No, while others were building dream houses and tricked-out cars, I once built an arena that had a Lego-people version of REO Speedwagon. It was neither functional nor very detailed, and the closest it came to having any digital relevance was when an REO Speedwagon song played on the radio, and I could drag my radio over to my fake arena and pretend that the fake band of Lego men were singing to me in my own little Lego concert. I was probably a charming little kid to be around. MUSICAL BREAK!! Man, they've really improved what you can do with Legos today! VITAL STATS:  Part of a sorta humorous actual conversation today, not brought to you by On-Star:Friend: "I'm gonna get going. It's windy out there. Windy enough that the snow blows off of cars when they pass by." Me: "It's just physics." (Right...like I know anything about physics. )Friend: "But the wind and the snow, and it goes all over...(Insert undefinable hand gesture here.)" Me: "Yeah, good luck with that." Friend: (Makes un-emoticonable face and exhales) "I don't like you anymore." Me: "Yeah, good luck with that too." I'm probably one of the few who find that exchange funny (and no disrespect is meant to either of the occupants of this excerpted conversation). Ok, so another ankle update. Ya ready? Last week I got my boot but was told to stay off it anyway. The boot is bigger than the cast I had. It contains a bladder with a push-button pump that I have to inflate. At least I can take it off when I go to sleep. They also gave me a script for antibiotics...one of my incisions was looking a little pink and slightly infected. So they bandaged it up nice, a few more trips back and forth to the office later, the thing is clearing up, and I'm pretty sure next week we'll at least start talking about the surgery to get the screws outta there. The only other good news from today is that I can now shower freely, which is to say I don't have to try and keep my damn leg wrapped and not get it wet, which hadn't been going well. Ah me, one less thing to worry about, I suppose.And that's what I'll leave you with for today. Who knows when I'll have this chance again? Stay warm, peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "Saturday is Ground Hog Day. What is your favorite saying, myth, legend, truism, ... about the weather." What's goin' on? So, the "post" date for this is 2/1, but through the miracle of life known as "the internet", let the record state that I am actually writing this entry on 2/8. "How is that possible?" You might find yourself, asking...yourself, friends or neighbors. I can't tell you exactly, but I'm sure you can figure it out. I for one find it rather cliche to be talking about the weather, even if I do catch myself doing it from time to time. Maybe it's because it's the only thing to talk about, or perhaps it's particularily noteworthy on a given day. But rare is the occasion that you'll see me post something weather-related via social media (I use the term "social media" because those sites aren't paying me to mention them by name). That's just so overplayed these days. Any idiot can stick a cameraphone out their window and show you how bad it's snowing. Amateurs! Be creative or something. Try, I implore you, to be witty. Even if you're not, at least you tried. Now, about this prompt. One of the first weather-type sayings I remember from when I was a kid was "The rain in Spain stays mainly on the plain". I'm not entirely sure where I first heard it. I know in the dining room we had an old typewriter with some old typing guidebooks, and it may have come from that. And that's over 30 years ago. I probably remembered it more because it's all rhymey and catchy. And I probably had to write it in a cursive writing lesson in 2nd grade (also over thirty years ago). And don't ask me why we had a typewriter in the dining room...it wasn't a big apartment and we ate in the kitchen. But my most favorite saying regarding weather involves my hometown, and it's true. "Buffalo... don't like the weather? Wait five minutes and it'll change." You truly can experience all four seasons during a day in Western New York. You can wake up to a bright, sunny 60 degree morning, by midafternoon it can be rainy in the 40's, and there can be an inch of snow (or several) blowin' around by the time you go to bed. No, the "four seasons in a day" phenomenon doesn't happen often, but it does happen enough to make you appreciate how great the area can be (and the food is pretty amazing too ).MUSICAL BREAK!! When I first started working in drug stores, I'd hear this song all the time. I hated it. I thought it was the corniest song with the cheesiest lyrics. Then I heard it coming from my iPod once, not even realizing I put it there. It gave me a new appreciation for this song. Granted, it's not their best work, but still, it's ok. VITAL STATS: Yeah, and let the record also state than on 2/8 a ridiculous amount of snow fell in the northeast, which kept me inside all day and forced my absolute hatred of winter to become almost as cliche as talking about weather in the first place.And that's all I have for tonight. No more half-started entries remain in this month's non-official "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" , so I'm gonna get on with the rest of my evening, and I suggest you do the same. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "Write a review of an animated film that you've seen." Hey everybody...I'm back for a little bit. Haven't had any internet access at home and when I've been out it's been limited. I missed a bunch of great prompts...and it would figure that the one time I've actually got some internet access, I've got no connection to the prompt. My first thought when I saw this prompt was "Recently??" I'm not any kind of film critiquer. I'm not any kind of film anything actually. Until recently I made a habit of avoiding movies in general, as they would tend to throw off significantly my sleep patterns. These days however, I really don't have a sleep pattern and I've got all the time in the world to kill in my little room, so I've been adding to my repertoire of cinematic exhibitions. I still don't enjoy watching movies though. But I do like me some cartoons. Although I must say, and call me blasphemous or sacreli I can't spell it but you know where I'm goin', but Disney movies suck ass unless you're six years old or less. Going to Disney for animation is like going to McDonalds for a hamburger. The animation and the plotlines are both pretty across-the-board predictable. And don't get all Pixar on me either. It's still Disney with a bigger hard drive and a faster processor. Of course, this commentary also comes from someone who has the crude, pottymouth sense of humor shared by those who are a combination of half his age and half his IQ. Bless their souls. I can't honestly remember the last cartoon flick I saw. I'm gonna go with The South Park Movie because I know I've seen it a few times from start to finish and thoroughly enjoyed it. My reasoning is simple: it is potentially offensive to everyone. It mocks race, ethnicity, religion, war, what have you. The level of animation itself is sophisticatedly low-brow. There is nothing classy nor pretentious about it, which is beautiful. And yet the story is damn near relatable (though I don't totally remember it...it's been quite a few years since I've seen it). It's the perfect cartoon movie for people who like cartoons but hate movies. Uncle Fucker and the "Blame Canada" dance routine are movie memories that deserve to have award statuettes named in their honor. Your move, Hollywood. MUSICAL BREAK!! I do appreciate animated (or semi-animated) music videos though. VITAL STATS:  I've taken up a new tv show interest since I've seen the Cortland library's entire catalog of Friends (seasons 1-4) on dvd: The Odd Couple. Yes, I'm watching the trials and tribulations of Oscar and Felix, just like I did when I watched the reruns as a kid. Funny stuff. I know I'm late to the party with this one, but The Quill Awards nominees were recently announced, and your boy over here outside of The 'Cuse has been nominated for "Best Blog" for the second year in a row. I'm really thankful and humbled by this...it's a wonderful honor just to have my name mentioned. Congrats to all the nominees...peep the info here: "The Quills"  Had to turn down a job interview at some place I'd never heard of 'til I came to Cortland. It's a management position in a discount retailer kinda place. It's not that I wasn't interested; but they're not on the bus route and in fact are in-between two routes, which is too far for me to crutch along in inclement weather. Sure, I'd walk, but I think they might want me to heal up a little faster than the body allows. Hopefully I can reschedule though.  Hockey! It's back! And I haven't been able to catch a game yet. But the Sabres are off to a decent start. Thomas Vanek's playing incredibly. But I don't know how I feel about a shortened season. I'd almost rather not win a Stanley Cup in a 48-game season. It almost would feel cheap in a way. But what do I know? Maybe I'm just too much of a purist. And hopefully, everything goes well this coming Wednesday and the cast finally comes off my left leg. The pain has pretty much (but not entirely) been replaced by general malaise and aggrivation at this cotton/fiberglass masterwork of bipedal obstaclination covering my lower appendage, and it needs to fucking go. But that's not the major source of my misfit rage. Seems as though this past week I've had a setback of another kind. A nice big fat flare-up of depression and anxiety. No need for details; it just sucks hard. Didn't want to leave the room, go anywhere, live, etc. Pulled myself out a little bit, because these things are like that. Baby steps sometimes, and a change in meds.And that's all I've got for today. Maybe I'll unlock and finish off some of the entries I've started but didn't finish (which is a shame, but it seems unlikely because the wi-fi's been out again...go figure). Regardless, in accordance with local and municipal laws, be good to one another. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "Are social media sites (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc ...) an evolving form of communication and allow us to be more connected to those around us, or do they decrease communication skills, and distance us from "real" connections?" 'Sup y'all? Ya see here, the simple answer is yes to both. Allow me to perpitrate both causes. It doesn't get much simpler for people to see what's up with other people's lives than Facebook, or any other social networking party page for that matter. You post it, friends see it. If they're inclined, they "like" it and comment and/or share. It's decidely a one-way communication tool, with an option for two-way. And if you don't want people to know what you've been up to, don't share it on the networking sites. Better yet, don't you be doin' the nasty things you do in the first place, and you'll have nothin' to hide. Now, for the other side of this weird coin. It decreases communication skills on the user level only if you let it; that is, you're in charge of what you put out there, and if it's crap, expect people to call you out on it (if they don't ignore you completely). Also, I think far too often people fall into a trap of sorts by addressing a profile picture or an avatar rather than the soul on the other side of the monitor. This is sorta similar to hiding behind one's own "image", feeling as though they're invincible on message boards sitting behind the keyboard in their parents' basement trolling on suckas that are likely as well not to be who they seem. So while there is some communication, it's ingenuine at its root, which teeters the line of valid and invalid. This is a fun discussion. I really could go either way with this. But I think I'm more comfortable in saying that for the most part, it opens up communication in ways many were unable to previously experience, and for the most part that's a win-win situation. MUSICAL BREAK!! Awww yeah...communication, y'all! VITAL STATS: Just catching up...couldn't keep my two cents outta this one. Keep the change, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "Is there anyone in your life that you would take a bullet for?" Hello, and welcome to a very special episode of Who The Hell Do I Think I Am??, sponsored in part tonight by Mountain Dew and pure bitterness. I'm positive that there have been many people throughout my life that have taken the proverbial bullet for me. I know this, and have always tried to be thankful, or at the very least, respectful. I'd like to think that at least 60% of the time (or more often than not; readers' choice) I have rewarded said individuals' faith in me. And I'm deeply saddened when such rewarded faith is not the case, whatever the reason (and the fuck there ain't) may be. I'm also positive that there may have been a lot of people I once would've taken not just a bullet for, but the whole damn clip too. In the face. At point blank range. In a Wal-Mart. Wearing a dress. While listening to country music. You get the point. When I'm behind you, I'm all-in. You know it. You believe it like I'm an extension of everything good about you. And when I'm not, there's no gray area. I'm out of the picture. In fact, there is no picture, cuz there's no film. Cuz you left the lens cap on, dillhole. I can count on one finger the people I would take a bullet for. And no, not that finger. Although sometimes I even wonder about that. I have a problem with expectations and disappointments. I live and die by the phrase "He who expects little is seldom disappointed". True words, indeed. I've lived through a lot of disappointments, some self-inflicted. I've tried to manage the expectations, fair or otherwise, placed upon me, and deal with the understanding that nobody has higher expectations for me than me. Also self-inflicted at times. Why? I wish I knew. But I know that I have a hard time depending on people and trusting people. And maybe people feel that way about me, but I'll never know. I can say that I'm pretty sure those two traits are definitely something you look for in someone when it comes to deciding whether or not you'd take a bullet for them. And right now, all I've got are these words and me. MUSICAL BREAK!! The sexiest man alive (and the only man I'll ever admit to that being true of), after a long introductory soliloquy, performed live somewhere in the vicinity of Brother Nature . Crappy sound quality, but who cares? The man is a legend.VITAL STATS: Ok, that's about all I can handle for one night. Hopefully I'll be able to knock out a couple more tomorrow. Peace, sensible gun ownership, and for real, GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "Persuade me why you appreciate verbal arguments or disagreements." Good evening, folks. I'll admit, I was excited when I read this prompt (which was right before I realized I'd be without hacked wi-fi for the better part of two weeks). Obvious reasons, of course. I enjoy a well-rounded discussion between two halfway decent people. The more I thought about this prompt, the more I wanted to start it with a random, not-totally-relevant-but-still-thought-provoking, random quote; something like "Anger is a gift" or "Where you end is where I begin" or "Sometimes a man needs the comfort and security of a good whore". I wanted something different to maybe spark discussion on its own merits, outside of the realm of a sanitary "comments" section. I then realized, after some thought, that this could be a bad idea. See, I can say anything, mix it with a little conviction, and if you're none the wiser, we're cool. But if you hesitate upon my words for a second, well, you'd better be sharp in your response...just as I best be sure to be able to back them words up proper. I don't wanna fight just to fight and throw around fancy phrases. I argue for the passion of my thoughts versus the passion of yours. We could both be right, or we could both be wrong, or we could fall somewhere in the middle. The point is that when you believe in something worth fighting for, and you understand it, it doesn't always matter who's right. It matters that you can ably defend yourself and your stance. Of course, being good-looking helps too. MUSICAL BREAK!! Sorry if I posted this before, but I can't get over how awesome it is. Maybe it should be my "Verbal Arguements And Disagreements" theme song for 2013. As in, "Don't enter into any verbal disagreements with me, because I'm..." VITAL STATS: I'm kinda diggin' on this catch-up thing...not that I think anyone's gonna read them, but it feels good to get some of these thoughts I've been carrying around for awhile out there. No arguments from me. Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "Blog. Tell us about your week. Include your favorite blog entry from your fellow challengers from the preceding week, and, most importantly, why." millershelly's entry "Invalid Entry" gets my nod this week. It's simple really...I've been through a few of these "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" rodeos in my time. I've come across a bunch of cool people. What have I learned? For the most part, a lot of us are very much alike and often share a lot of the same feelings on a lot of topics.But every so often, a real "hot-button" issue comes up and sort of resonates a little louder than normal. And every so often, someone comes along with a viewpoint that isn't like everyone else's. I know the topic of gay marriage can be sensitive to some, for a variety of reasons. I tried to read as many entries as I could that day, just to get a feel for how others in the group thought of it. Shelly's was one of the first to sort of "stick out" to me in that hers was maybe the first I read that was in opposition to gay marriage. While I fundamentally disagree, I respect her entry and the way she went about it. I know others also have shared the same opinion as well; I chose this one for the material and examples, as well as the arbitrary fact that this was the first entry I came across that differed from my opinion. Ok...hopefully I've got time to at least get one more entry out of the way today as I attempt to catch up a little before falling behind again... |
| THE PROMPT: "A day in the life of a blogger." What's up, kind people? A day in the life of a blogger, asks the prompt. One can only imagine that if it looked like this, any entry could and would be 10,000 times more interesting. http://www.uproxx.com/webculture/2013/01/hunter-s-thompson-daily-routine/ Makes me a little sad and relieved that that isn't quite the case for me. So anyway, since it's simple times over here for now, it shouldn't take much to tell you about what it's like in a day that I happen to write a blog entry. It looks something like this: (**All Eastern Standard times are approximate.) 10am-11am: Finally decide it's time to get my ass outta bed. 11am-3pm: Do almost nothing. Maybe eat, depending on the day (some days the church behind my building gives out free lunches to the poor, and other days it's free dinner). Crank up some NPR. Get the prompt for the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" , finish off the previous day's entry if I haven't already, and check my email and Facebook on Blackberry Central if the wi-fi's free for the taking. If it's not, shower, get dressed, and head off to the career center (which is located in the same building, kinda, as the one I live in...or about halfway between here and the church) to check my email (that's about all the career center computers are good for...that and Yahoo! sports).3pm-6 or 7pm: Go to the library. Read some of the local newspapers and do all the stuff I can't do on a Blackberry. Copy the prompt for the "30-Day Blogging Challenge ON HIATUS" into a skeletal entry, think of a basic idea for an entry, find some music and stuff for it, and marinate it. When I'm done at the library and need to shop, it's off to either the Sunoco station or CVS, unless it's warm out and I feel like going to Kinney (Kinney has cheaper Spaghettios and cuter cashiers).7pm-8pm: If I didn't make it to dinner at the church, I'll eat dinner. Maybe while listening to more NPR. Maybe not. Maybe there's some news I didn't get from the ESPN app if the wi-fi again is free for the taking. Maybe I'll read a newspaper if I picked one up that I didn't read at the library. And if I did get the newspaper, ya know I'm all about them crossword puzzles, son. 9pm-12am: I hate movies. If there's ever a biography written about my amazing lifestyle choices, that last sentence will be in the first paragraph. That said, I'll usually borrow a dvd or two from the library to pass the time with a cinematic adventure. That, my friends, is just the beginning of the epic sleep journey. 12am-4am: After watching the last of the dvd's bonus features, and maybe re-watching the damn movie with the audio commentary, it's time to unwind. I'll throw in a tv series on dvd and watch a few episodes until I'm ready to sleep. It almost works, too . I've already watched full seasons of Modern Family, Grounded For Life, Monty Python's Flying Circus, Everybody Loves Raymond and Eastbound & Down. Now I'm back into watching Friends.4am-5am: I catch a pretty solid nap. 5am-5:15am: I wake up, wondering where the hell I am. And I'm usually in some sort of pain. 5:15am-9:30am: That's when most of the sleep happens. And some pretty awkward dreams as well. 9:30am-9:45am: Convince myself I haven't had nearly enough sleep. 9:45am-10 or 11am-ish: Top off my share of the day's sleep. Then I wake up and do it all over again. MUSICAL BREAK!! VITAL STATS:  Shorts weather this weekend! Or, no sock monkey foot for a day or two. Travelling with just a sock instead.I've had computer issues all weekend...gonna try to catch up today, hopefully....GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "When was the last time you remember laughing so hard your sides hurt, your smiling muscles were sore, and your eyes were tearing up? What were you laughing at?" What's up everyone? A happy "Funny Friday" to you all. Now, I can say with a lot of certainty that it's been a long time since I can recall having a laugh as good as the one described by the prompt. I'm sure it was probably during a time when the economy was better...when the economy's down, so is comedy. Laughs are harder to come by because the world is so desperately searching for something to lift their spirits so much that people almost become discriminating with what they spend their hard-earned laughter on. As for me, well, let's keep in mind that my sense of humor differs vastly from others, shall we? And I don't doubt that I've seen or felt funnier things in my life, but in the last 10 or 12 years two events come to mind. Ironically, both are work-related incidents. Did I mention I found them funny? Cuz that probably means very little. The first was probably about 10 years ago. I was working for the local consumer electonics retailer's computer division, and we had our own separate location at the time. We sold Sony laptops and desktops, in addition to our own brand of custom-built desktops. We also did repairs and offered commercial sales. Our sales floor had a big screen tv with a desktop hooked up to it. As part of the sales staff, we spent a lot of time surfing the internet and downloading music from Napster (when Napster was free and awesome). We did this in between pints of Sam Adams at the upscale pizza joint next door. One day, after lunch, one of the builders was huddled at a workstation, laughing his ass off. I believe the website he was looking at was something like joecartoon.com or something like that. There was a series of three short, maybe 15-20 second cartoons featuring Rat Chicken. They were the dumbest, yet hilarious clips I'd ever seen at the time. The premise of Rat Chicken is that he's a farm chicken who wears a rat mask on his head so that the farmer doesn't kill him. The first clip ends with another chicken teasing him about the mask, only to be caught and beheaded by the farmer, with Rat Chicken exclaiming, "No, you go to hell!!" Like I said, stupid yet hilarious...the delivery is everything. What made it better was that our office was primarily guys at the time, so for about the next day and a half, anytime anyone had a question or anything to say, the response was "Nooooo, you go to hell!!" And the laughter would not get old. The other story is from a little place I like to call Walgreens, and it happened maybe not two years ago. This is more of a physical comedy gag, which will make it difficult to explain. Also adding to the degree of difficulty? It was a personal story, meant for no one but me to know. I kept that quiet for about 30 seconds. Over our blue polo shirts we were allowed to wear hoodies. That wasn't a concession made by corporate so much as it was me wanting to wear a hoodie, and once I kept getting away with it more people started doing it. So my boy G-Stamm comes in to run the photo lab, and he's got a hoodie on. He's about my height, but he works out and stuff, so he's thicker than me. Some would say he's... stocky. He calls me over to the lab and says, "So, my girl did the laundry yesterday..." As he opens up his hoodie, I realize that his polo is now about eight sizes too small...she shrunk it! He explained it was his only clean one. The sleeves didn't make it halfway past his biceps, which were trying to scream from suffocation. I don't know how he got his head through the neck opening. And his tummy...his poor, exposed tummy. I said not one word beyond "Holy shit!" Then I did the right thing. I proceeded to the managers' office, and told all the other managers on duty what I just saw. Now, mind you, hoodies weren't official work wear. Within seconds, G-Stamm was being paged to the office. My boss very matter-of-factly asked him to remove the sweatshirt (I had already removed mine to go along with the gag) for some bullshit reason. After hesitating, he complied while explaining his situation. The other managers roared in hysterical laughter! We couldn't look at him the rest of the day without some kind of wise-ass remark. My favorite was the one about his girl's four-year-old son, and why was G wearing his shirt. I don't think much actual work was accomplished on that day, but I know we laughed our friggin' asses off. Like I said, stupid, but hysterical. Sometimes that's the best way to laugh. MUSICAL COMEDY BREAK!! Ladies and genlemen, via the magic of Youtube, I present to you: Rat Chicken VITAL STATS:  Intermittant-to-no wi-fi at best...better not be a weekend thing!It's been a quiet, boring day of not muches, not quites and don't cares. That better not be a weekend thing either! Gonna see if I can try to stay out of trouble anyway...peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
| THE PROMPT: "Gay marriage? Yes? No? Do you care? Why?" Holy commotion y'all...I can almost smell it comin'. What is up? For reals? We're still talking about this in 2013? Tell ya what...come at me when we're talking about electing a gay president, bro. Seriously. I'm about as bored talking about this as I am talking about my own miserable life these days. The truth is, live and let live. I don't care what your religion says. Your religion doesn't matter to me. Too many religions have too many holes in them for me to firmly stand behind them anyway. But what can I stand behind? Love. If two dudes love each other, or two chicks love each other, then good. Better than good...great. And if they wanna be parents and raise kids, even better...because that kid will likely be the most tolerable kid in the world and have two parents that love that kid a lot. Hell, how many kids have parents that don't love them at all? I know plenty of gay people in this world, and they're no different than you or me. I don't have "gay friends"...and I've said this a million times before...I don't have "black friends" or "lady friends" or "ugly friends" or "Jewish friends" or "Wal-mart friends". I have friends. Period like the end of a sentence. If you're my friend for pretty much any reason, you're my friend. I don't judge. I don't classify or categorize. Life's too short for that kind of bullshit. And if one-eighth of the world loved each other the way most gay people love one another, I fully believe this world would be an absolutely more tolerable planet. Imagine everybody getting along a lot better than they do now. I'm not saying it'd be perfect (there will always be room for improvement), but I think you know what I'm saying. I really wish I had more to say about this, because I think this is important. It's not about religion or sex or power or wealth or anything else. It's about love, and maybe I haven't learned everything there is to learn in every kind of bible in the world, but I'm pretty damn sure most of them preach love first (before they get into who you're supposed to and not supposed to love). It should be such a non-issue; way more a non-issue than a lot of other supposed non-issues. I also know love isn't something to fuck with. If you wanna do anything to screw up your karma, go on and fuck around with love. Trust me...unless you want to spend the rest of your life bored, lonely and watching reruns of Friends on dvd while eating Chef Boyardee straight from the can, don't fuck with love. Whether it's a guy and a girl, two guys or two girls, don't do it. Like I said near the top, live and let live. Love is for everyone, regardless of anything else. MUSICAL BREAK!! If ever there is another question about this subject, look no further. VITAL STATS:  Next week, can we get an opinion prompt with a little kick to it? Can't wait to see what everyone else has to say about this.Anyway, I'm gonna get goin' now that I'm all caught up again (seems like a prevailing theme this month). Peace, and GOODNIGHT NOW!! |
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I'm glad you read and enjoyed this, Ann...I know if I were ever presented with the same situation again I wouldn't be as uncomfortable. It's amazing to see how things have changed in five years...I can only imagine how much perception has changed over the last 50. I've always felt that gays were no more or no less than anyone else, and you're absolutely right that they are just like everyone else in 99% of activities. And if that 1% is what creeps people out, well, it's none of their business anyway...and there are better, more tactful ways to respond than with hatred.
