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Ok so I am addicted... |
| I am addicted to this site. My housework gets overlooked. My finger are asleep as I surf hour after hour. I tell my kids, "Go play" so that I can read and write more. I can not stay away from my site. But hey, I know I am not the only Writing.com junkie!!! |
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We have heard that line a million times. But you know it is true. I especially think it is true in women and the way we feel about ourselves and love others. I was looking at pictures of me newly married and I was thinking, "Damn, I looked good!" I was so skinny and pretty. Well inside I think I didn't feel that way. I was happy but insecure about my looks. WHy? I have no idea except that it was my young age. Well now I am a little overweight and wished I looked that good as in those pictures. But you know something. I am more secure about myself. I think about that esp. in the loving dept. You know they say experience as in the years helps and boy that is so true. I mean that in the emotional but also the physcial aspect of loving someone. I know how to please and be pleased a lot better now than then. Just wish I could lose about 20 (lbs and years) . But if I had to trade it in for the experiences over those years, I wouldn't do so. |
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I keep thinking about dreams lately. THey say dreams are the windows of our soul. That is a fearful thought considering the dreams I have had. Have you ever had a dream and in the middle of it you are thinking, "I have had this dream before or I have seen this place before or person... " but when you wake up you are not sure if you did re have a dream from before or not. I have that happen to me a lot. One of the weirdest dreams that I have had over and over in my life is this one I first had as a nine year old. I just remember being nine when I had it and not really understanding it at the time. Over the years I have had it about ten times and it is so real and strange. I am on a beach and then I go swimming. The next thing I hear is people saying to me "Push, you can do it.. come on out. " and all this other stuff. I am in blackness and I feel this pressure all over my body . (like contractions or muscle spasms). Sometimes I feel like I can not breathe and everything is all red (like the inside of a human body). THen I am released into the ocean. Turns out I was inside a whale pushing my way out. Then I swim to my family. Over the years I have come to realize it is like a birth process. Only when I was nine, I had it so vivid and believe me I had no idea about the birth process then. Sometimes I wonder if it is in my brain of when I was born and I remember it in dreams. It is so much like how it must feel . I am always very hot and then I hit cold water. I know I sound strange but hey it's a dream! The other night I dreamed that I was just so sick of my hair and I knew I was asleep and had just cut my hair and it was laying on my pillow. Oh well that was an accident, so now I would just go ahead and cut the rest of it and when I go to the beauty salon I can tell them I was dreaming when I cut and mess up my hair. In my dream, I cut it and it looked pretty good. Then I woke up and was so glad that I had not really cut my hair!!!! Dreams are strange! |
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I truly believe God plants our significant other in our lives. I know when I first laid eyes on my husband I had a feeling I had never experienced before. It is as if I knew "HE' Going to me mine!" I had dated a few guys but none that really kept my interest. I had had several major crushes as most young girls do but those guys always turned out to just be my buddies or else were taken. I was a senior in high school. I had asked a guy I liked to the prom but he was attached (I hadn't known that as it was a new relationship) So I had just decided I wasn't going to go to the prom because I really didn't like anybody and just didn't want to go with anybody. So the day of the prom I was a little depressed. But I get off the bus and as I had been noticing this cute hunk of a guy every afternoon at the bus stop. This day though he came up to my mom on a 4 wheeler and asked her if she would ride. I was with her but I guess he was too shy to ask me. My mom said, " No, but my daughter will ride>" I shook my head no as I had seen the way he rode that thing. But boy was he cute. He followed us home on his four wheeler and he and I talked for hours that evening outside in the driveway. THen everyday, he started coming to my house. We started dating and dated for six and a half years before we married. We met so young and decided to finish college before getting married. He told me he was falling in love with me within that first couple of weeks and I was already head over in love with him. He was only fifteen and I eighteen when we met. HE was living with his grandmother for a few months and that summer had to go back home to Atlanta (About 2 hours from here) We only saw each other a little that summer and barely talked. That Fall his family moved here (THANK GOODNESS). From then on we were inseparately except for a three week breakup three years into our relationship. I still am just as much in love with him if not more. We have been married for eleven years. |
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The post office thing was a hoax. Thank goodness. It closed the post office down for a day though. People are so sick! |
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Our local post office closed today because they got a package that may contain anthrax. Now I live in Georgia and this is a pretty small town. But this anthrax thing is hitting pretty close to home now. The package is being tested. Until then I really don't even want to go get my mail from my mailbox. This is creepy!!!!! |
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I live in the city. However, I was raised in the country on a farm. I grew up around animals and lots of land and trees. My parents still live on the farm, although they don't farm as much anymore. However, I love to go there and go through the pasture land and woods and such. Well, I haven't been able to do that in a long long time. In fact, I do not remember the last time I did that. Well yesterday, I took my class to a farm. It was so strange how just the smell of animals starting awakening my inner self. Being outside and around the woods was so relaxing. More than anything though it was the smells. I know it sounds weird but it is just it brought back memories of how happy I was growing up with all that around me. I am thinking I need to get my son and just go romp in the woods this weekend. Just up and go explore. Go find a neighbor's horse and just have a good old country time. I think I will do that soon! |
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Two weeks ago, my husband was out of town for a week. I missed him so much. I missed him because I love him but also because he is such a part of the family for the boys . I could not be a single mom. I was so tired. I have to say we do a pretty much 50-50 or 60-40 in the day to day operations around here. I had it all on me 100%. I thought I would not make it through the week. I was having to get up so early to get both of them to school. I was flying in the afternoons to get both of them fed, bathe, and so on. I had no time to even pee, That wasn't even including my take home work, the oldest homework, household errands and well you get the picture. I wanted to be able to share it with my husband in the emotional sense that I need him. Thank God for my sweetie! |
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Yes! It has been a while. My life is so busy as always. Such a difference from my summer months. I am so crammed with work stuff that I so not have many free moments after work and family. But I am happy. School is wonderful. I love teaching next door to my son and he stops in for motherly love ( a hug) from time to time. I am able to be such a part of his school life. Next year the little one starts Pre- K. IT is a great set-up. I do not feel as guilty about working because they are so much a part of the place where I work. It is a Christian school and that is really different and exciting. I can see the difference in the kids a lot. It is amazing to be able to pray and have chapel and even in the discipline aspect to be able to talk about God to the kids. |
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Eleven years ago this week I was on a cruise somewhere between Jamaica and Mexico. It was our honeymoon. We did the romantic thing this year! SIKE! We bought each other a vaccum cleaner. Actually I am happy. We needed a new one and that is all we could come up with. I have everything I could ever want. Today was teacher work day. What do teachers do on those days you ask? I rearranged my room. I cleaned and graded papers. I put a lot of data into the computer for a reading program. My birthday is next week and Craig will be away on a business trip all week. Makes me sad! |
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Listening to the prayer service in New York. Bette Milder is playing DID YOU EVER KNOW THAT YOU ARE MY HERO. I love that song. I even had it played on the keyboard as background music at my wedding. Work is going good. I am happy to teach in a Christian School. THis week I have appreciated it even more. I am so happy to see America pulling together in this sadness. I pray people are turning back to God that have turned away from him in the past. More important, I thought today how we need to pray for our enemies. The Bible says to do that! |
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I am feeling down because of all that is going on in the country with the attacks. Then on top of that, I am sad because one of my uncles just found out he has cancer and is starting treatments. He will be very ill and I hope he doesn't give up when he is feeling so bad! I feel as I read more and more about the victims. The poor families! It breaks my heart! One good thing is that people are praying. I saw 10 people saved Sunday! God saids all good will come out of everything! |
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I don't have a chance to get on line everyday anymore as I have gone back to teaching for the year. But the update on me is that I went back to the same teaching position I was in last year and signed a contract. That night the job offer I have been really wanting came about. I went to work (old job) the next morning and was sitting in this meeting feeling very strange because I needed to desperately call and set up an interview with my new school. I excused myself form the conference table and went to my car on the pretence of looking for a book. I called and within a day I was hired for first grade. This is the school I attended and my child now attends. It is a position that makes my life easier on the family as it is close by and I get a deal on fees for my children. Well I had to put in my notice at my old postion and worked a week and a half with them before just walking out because they would not release me to my new job a couple of days early. I have never done anything like that (walk out on a job) and it was stressful!! But now I am teaching first grade and loving it! |
I start with my new class (first grade) tomorrow. I walked out of my old job because I had put in a week and a day notice and asked to be released at the end of the week. That would be two days shy of me putting in a full two weeks. They said no! So next day i just did not go in. I have been more than fair with them. They are not a school system and so I wasn't to worried about leaving without saying anything. My new class has had a sub for too long and I did not want them to have another half of week without me in the room. My old class has my aide and lots of good subs to fill in that know what to do. It was the first time I have done anything like this... walking out on a job! But damn it felt good! They were not treating me fair and were using me! |
| Signed a contract for teaching and that night got a notice of position available at my dream school that I have been wanting to teach at. Got hired and now putting in two weeks notice at old school. I have a sub for my new class until I get there. I am doing lesson plans for two classes. I have no free time!!! |
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On Friday, my Mother-in-law had my kids go out to her home to spend the night. I enjoyed a nice afternoon to myself. I went by my work and got my paycheck and then shopping. When I got home, my husband and I spent some quality time together and then went out to eat. Before we left my Mom in law had called and said that my youngest son had been bitten on the elbow by something and it looked really bad. She worried it might be a spider bite and he being only 3 years old and such a frail thing at that, she had looked up the warning signals to look for if it was a poisonous spider or whatever kind of insect bite. Well that was around 4 that he got bit. But then 12 hours later in the early morning, we get a call that he is throwing up ( a warning sign) and felt like he had a fever. I tried calling his Doctor's answering service but they did not answer. We go 30 miles to get him from grandmother's and took him on to the emergency room. Kind of felt foolish when we got there, as he had quit vomiting and actually looked OK. I was only an ant bite that he is allergic to. THe histamine in his body was making him throw up. He is fine today. Just so glad it was not a bad allergic reaction. His brother had prayed for him while we were at hospital. He had been restless in his sleep until he prayed. Then he fell asleep peacefully feeling like God would take care of his brother. When he awoke, he asked his grandmother how his brother was and she told him that he was OK. My son then said, " That's good-- another answered prayer!" He is only 7 and said that. I am so proud of him going to God for help. |
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I have never been one to have many dreams, much less nightmares. Yet, in the last month I have had many, many nightmares. I don't know what the deal is! The latest one started off good. I am on vacation and in the mountains and it is just beautiful. Without going into boring detail, I am in a bus wreck and withess an arson on this vacation. But wait, there is more! The worse part of my dream was that I was on this ride over the Mountains. It is like a big balloon thing. The best way I can explain it is like this giant beanbag that floats in the sky. Well it is yellow and thousands of folks at a time can get on. It just kind of leisurely and slowly floats, You sit in it like a regular beanbag chair or you can lay in it or whatever. There are folks all around but it is not really crowded. Every now and then though the beanbag shifts or something and you have to hold on or you will fall off. So I am laying on the beanbag on my tummy looking over a ledge of the beanbag at the mountains and it is just beautiful. Well then I don't feel comfortable and I look around and see everyone else is laying on their backs kind of cushioned liked in a trough with the beanbag. So I think I need to turn over. As I do so, there is a shift and I start falling. I grab the beanbag but I am hanging several feet below everyone. I yell but they don't notice. I use my teeth to bite into the beanbag to hold on and use my arms. I think this thing will land soon. Well after a lot of struggle, I tell myself I have to let go. I think this is only a dream and when I wake up, I will be ok or else if it is real, I will die and wake up in Heaven. SoI let go and boom! I jump in real life!! I was so scared! |
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I love for it to rain! Especially in the summer when it is so dry and needed. I love to hear the sound of rain falling to the ground. Something about that pitter patter just soothes my soul. It is like a refreshment for me as well as the parched grass outside of my door. Maybe it is because we all seem to slow down at least somewhat when it rains. "Hey, it's raining so we are just going to stay home today!" or " This rain is making me so sleepy!" seem to be things we hear when it rains. I love to be home and listening to the distant rumblings of thunder coming my way. In fact, there is nothing better than to wake up in the early morning and hear it raining and being able to go back to sleep listening to it fall. It is raining now as I write this. I just may go outside and run in it just for the heck of it! |
| (This entry was edited by suzydiana on 08-04-01 @ 11:52 am EDT) So I am in the 4th day of my diet and I have lost 5 or 6 lbs. already. Seems like a lot to lose at once but I think some of it may have been fluid. I am doing good on it. So far I'm not having horrible cravings. I am surprised. But I am starting to daydream about the new 120 lb. me and I can see it at the end of my rainbow. I think that is a good thing to have such a strong goal in my mind. Other times I really didn't visualize getting there! Hubby is playing golf today! I am going to go and take me a longgggggg bath and condition my hair and pamper myself. I love to soak in the bath and read. It is soo relaxing. I don't get the chance often anymore. But the kids are into cartoons this morning, so I'm thinking I may have a moment to myself!! Going back to our regular church tomorrow. We have been visiting around and word has gotten out that we may be leaving our regular church. I hate to even hear the groans tommorrow. But, since we moved, it is just too far to go out there. It takes about 30 minutes to get there. |
| Day 2 of my diet and I can't believe I am still hanging in there! I think I am going to be able to do this! My doctor said he lost 17 lbs in one month. The book saids if you don't cheat, you will lose about 8 lbs. in the first two weeks. (or more) I have thirty lbs. to lose. I think the hardest has been giving up coke. I am drinking diet coke. It is not my favorite. But I am taking a vitamin for sugar cravings and it seems to help. My best friend e-mailed me today. We have known each other since Kindergarten and now we don't see each other as much. I used to tell her everything. I still would if I saw her more! I will have to write about her sometime soon. It was nice hearing from her! |
| Just found out I am now a preferred author! Made my day! Got to get busy on my writings!
Started a diet today! Having major sugar cravings! But I am going to stick with it! It is the Adkins Diet! High protein and low carbs. Kids are gone off so I am here alone! I hope to get my messy house straight! Yuck! |
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