by Soul sister
Ok so I am addicted...
|I am addicted to this site. My housework gets overlooked. My finger are asleep as I surf hour after hour. I tell my kids, "Go play" so that I can read and write more. I can not stay away from my site. But hey, I know I am not the only Writing.com junkie!!!|
| Today I took my son to the ordontist. As we sit in walks my 3rd grade teacher with her two grandsons. I have not seen her in about 20 years but she has not changed much. Just a bit older looking but not much. She was my favorite teacher!! She also became our high school librarian so I was close to her then too. Well here is the thing. She did not recognize me and I was glad of it. I sat there and tried to analize why I did not go over there and hug her neck and tell her who I was.She would have known if I had done so. Why!! I used to be shy and have not felt that way in a long time. But today I felt like that child again. I was in awe of her again today. I watched the way she interacted with her grandkids and realized why I love her so much. She is so good with kids. I kind didn't feel good and did not want to talk to anyone either. But another part of me wanted to tell her I was teaching 3rd grade at the same exact school she taught me!! How ironic is that? But then I wished I was more fixed up -- I barely put on makeup and fixed my hair plus I am not the 95 lbs. she last saw me!! More like 170.
So instead I watched her!! it was fun and safe
|Today we grilled ribs and had a ton of folks over. It kept getting bigger and bigger. We cooked 24 slabs of ribs and have about 2 left. I guess there were about 30 folks here. I have cleaned house for 2 or 3 days now. But you can't tell it now that all the company left. But it was fun. Now I am going to rest and try to go to church in the morning.|
|K wrote a short story and I am so proud. I am going to send it off for submission. I am going to post it here soon. He is only 11 but boy is he good!!!|
| She had been dead for 25 years yet I still feel her. I think about her a lot. I feel like she is always with me. In fact I think she is. I was 14 when she died. At one time she had lived in our home for 7 years. I was very close to her. I remember often I would go to her room and watch t.v with her. She loved 'The Lawerence Welk SHow" I could never understand why at the time. BUt now I find when a re run comes on of it, I pause to watch a moment of it in her memory, even though I still don't like the show all that much.
One of the things I remember about her was how she always opened her pocketbook for me and gave me change to put in my pocketbook. SHe gave me her old coin purse when she got older. I still have it somewhere.
She loved to read and is part of the reason I love to read. She always had a magnifying glass with a light on it and would read until late at night. Later when she was sick, I would read for her. She loved that.
She was 85 when she died and one of the first people really close to me that I lost to death.
OVer the years I can hear her talking to me. I know it sounds cheesy but I can. I tell my kids about her alot.
About two years ago, I started dreaming a dream that has been reoccurring. I dream it in different versions but it is the same dream. It is that my grandmother is still alive and been away for years kept secret from part of the family. My Mom ( her daughter) doesn't want to go see her because it might upset Grandma. BUt we go and she is in a hospital bed looking 100 years old and she recognizes us. Strange dream. I know Grandma is laughing at me in Heaven. SHe was a strong Chritian lady who raised 7 children. I have many more fond memories of her. I will share them another time.
|I am lazy. I am really. Yeah, ok so I teach school and I raise two kids and have a husband and home to take care of. Today I am here alone. I make excuses not to clean. WHen they are here-- I make excuses not to clean. The fact is I am tired of cleaning. I hate it because it seems all I do is clean. BUt I don't ever finish and feel like I have done anything. Does that make sense? Don't get me wrong. My house is presentable. But I do need to clean. BUt instead- I have wasted 3 hours this morning (besides being on here) and still haven't done a thing. I feel guilty. Why? i do not know. I guess it is a sense of my mom fussing at me when I was little to clean. Maybe it is that I know I will have someone drop in and feel like I should have straighten up more. Ok I am going to go clean for one hour and then that will be it. yes this is a ramble and boring. But it is what is on my mind today.|
|I always think of today of my rebirth. I was 13 and away at camp. IT was a Thursday. My brother and I and several of our friends were all saved by praying to Jesus to forgive us of our sins and accepting him. We prayed our belief that he died on the cross for our sins. We asked him into our hearts. My life has never been the same since. God has done some great things in my life. I think of how much of a baby Christian I was then. I have grown so much in my Faith and I hope to always do so.|
|My sister and her husband got a pontoon boat. We all went out for a few hours and grilled supper. It was so much fun with all the kids. Bought back memories of when we had our boat. Anyway, hubby and I are thinking of buying a cabin or something up there on the backwaters. It would onlybe about 20 minutes from home. It doesn't have to be fancy -- It can even be a dump. I just want a place on the river .|
|So I have been teaching a camp for two weeks now. Today was our field trip to the lake. There is a park and place to fish. I was the hiker teacher. They have a nature trail that is about a mile long. But from where I would take it group it took 10 minutes to get to the trail. So then we only went 10 minutes down the trail to the waterfall and turned around. Then I walked them the ten minutes back to the meeting place to go fishing. THen I took another group. ANd then another and then another. Then after I finished the last group we walked another few minutes to the bus. SO all in all I walked two hours and thirty minutes straight. I was ok until I sat down on the bus and then I was pooped. But I hope I lost a pound at least. Tnen we went back to the school and ate lunch and had free play for an hour. I think the kids have had a ball. They flew kites, fished and hiked and played games today. Tomorrow we have regular camp and go home. But they will come back at 6:30 for family night. Then we will have a lock in. I brought me an air matress. We would have camped outside but it is too hot. I have been in charge of art and they have had a great time making projects.|
| We have the mail order medicine through our insurance. It should be great except I am always forgetting to send in the refill in a timely manner to make sure we don't run out of medicine. Having a child with asthma and me having a thyroid condition -- well this isn't good. If I go one day without my meds-- I am useless. I have been four days and I am napping four and five hours a day. I am still tired when I awake. My meds just came in but it will take a week to get my body back in good condition. I should learn my lesson!!! But I know I will forget again.
Today we went to church and Sunday School. It was nice as I went to a new class. I enjoyed it and felt so welcome by strangers. Our church is huge so it is through Sunday school we fellowship. Nice meeting new friends.
Came home and slept. Now the day is almost over. I have to teach camp this week and then I will enjoy my summer.
|Why do I do this stuff to myself? I only had a week off and then had to start teaching camp for 2 weeks. All I do is complain about not having time to myself but I bring it on myself. I guess the money was talking. But even though it is a half day program, I have spent the rest of the day until midnight and after prepping for the next day. I teach art and it is taking alot to prepare stuff for 50 kids a day. Today is the first day I have been online all week. I do enjoy the camp though. It is just taking a lot of my time. My house is going to the dogs again. I need to be spending more time home-- resting. Hmm that sounds good. I may go on to bed now.|
| Lifewriter had a good idea to put down things about
herself with abc's It has to be positive
Here are some things about me a-f . I'll do more on another entry
a- affectionative to those I love
b- beautiful on the inside and sometimes on the outside
d- decisive when I need to be
e- entertaining to my friends
| It has been a great weekend. I am as usual too busy.
But it has been fun. We went up to the backwaters with some friends. IT was the first time we have hung out with them and I enjoyed getting to know them better. Today K and I did volunteer boy scout stuff and then went to C.'s sister's house to swim and have a cook out. Yesterday I volunteered doing the powerpoint in children's church for the first time. It was fun but ya got to be on your toes. I think I am going to be part of that ministry. I am joinning the church after 4 years now of attending it. About time. Well I am tired. Better go .
|Ahhhhhh! I slept late today. The second day of summer for us. I did have to go back to my classroom for some items I forgot yesterday. It is weird not going in to work though. I am going to lay around on my butt for a few days. I am also cleaning when I feel like it.|
| People are going nuts. Everyday in our town there are some sad crimes of child abuse and killings and kidnappings. This is so sad.
Tonight I went to see Mama and Daddy. On the way home, I was in the right lane (slower lane) and a van was directly in front of me.
This car pulls up beside me and this woman just gives me this look. I thought, " What is she looking at me for?"
She put no blinker on or nothing. She just slides in between me and the van and then she gives me the finger. What is that about? Was I supposed to read her mind? Why couldn't she just get behind me? There was no one else but us three cars for miles around. Pissed me off!
|Tonight my six year old graduated from Kindergarten. I loved hearing them sing. I love the way he sits and crosses his legs. He was two when I started this journal. Where does the time go?|
| God is so awesome. Lately I have felt a calling to have more quiet time. The Lord often reminds me I am not doing a great job of trying to fulfill this calling. For instance he will send a sermon or a thought my way often to remind me.
Well this week as been a stressful week in the way of lots of events and the last week of school and all. So today for about 15 minutes my class had gone to P.E. and so I pulled out my Bible and began reading some verses. As I was thumbing through my Bible I was reminded of Charles Stanley preaching on how the Lord will show you what he wants you to know or hear. I kept reading verses (just popping out on the page) that applied to my life. Well having a low self esteem at times I thought-- "AM i building myself up as a good person or am I blinded by my sins." Don't get me wrong.. I sin. But at this moment everything I was reading was positive. For example, there is a lot of gossip and catfighting in my work place and I try to stay out of it. I read several verses ( not even looking for them) to ignore such and keep a quiet spirit. Well I do that for the most part. But then I found myself questioning that-- like don't I LOrd -- I think I do. Well these inadequancies kind of kept playing out in my mind and I was wrestling wheather the LOrd is trying to tell me something or not.
Just then a parent ( not even one of my student's parent) comes to the door and says, " I just want to tell you-- I know you didn't teach my son but I am a people watcher and I have been watching you for years and well I just want you to know you are so awesome-- your are a great teacher-- always smiling and I can tell you care about these kids...." It went on and on. I know God sent him to me when he did. I mean this is the middle of the morning. This parent is at the school often as his wife works there but I hardly see him anymore. FOr him to come when he did -- it was truly God sending him. I needed a boost from God and he gave it to me today.
| What working woman- mom and wife doesn't feel that way. Hopping from one place to another. I feel so overwhelmed sometimes with all I have to do. The thing is nothing really gets done completely because I am so busy-- going from one thing to the next.
I guess I am down in the dummps because I was sick with this vertigo crap and nothing I intended to do got done,
Seems I am having some type of food intolerance to drop me for a loop. I mean literally I can not walk when I get these dizzy spells. I think I am allergic to anything with cheese in it. What's that about? I have eaten cheese all my life and now I eat it and get soooo sick. It is weird. It is almost like the migrane thing. I actually did get a bad headache and then the vertigo started. I have to take this pill that knocks me out and then sleep it off for two days ( the vertigo and the pill)
I felt better today. I only felt like I was going to tip over backwards a few times but the dizzy part is gone. I am just tired from it now. My doctor would think I am a hypochronicact if I go tell him all my weird ailments. ( See that entry elsewhere in this journal)
| As a teacher ----- all I have to say is
| The lady I talked about in my last journal appears to have died from an auersym (spelling) with her heart. That explains the pain in her right side (back) and throwing up. She had been to the hospital but they thought it was kidney stones--- something doesn't sound right. Her daughter is doing pretty good considering. I think with all the people around -- it hasn't sunk in and she is in shock.
I saw something last night that would make for a good part of a book. I went up to a local service station up the road and as I pulled in a 20 something lady was on around the corner talking on a pay phone. It being almost 9 -- she looked out of place and I actually though that. She was dressed in scrubs like she is a nurse. Anyway it crossed my mind she was talking to a boyfriend or her phone must be broken.
I go in and buy a paper and when I come up I am just in time to see her significant other ( I could tell he was that) pull up and leaves his lights on and truck running) SHe had her back to him. He gently takes the phone from her and talks into the receiver and hangs it up. She looks in shock. He walks her to her car and they are in serious conversation. He is looking in her eyes gently talking to her and she is just listening. I think he was confronting her about an affair. I could not hear much but I could tell by how they acted. Very interesting.
| It is raining here in Alabama and fits everyones' mood. Today, one of our student's mother died. The student is in second grade. She lived alone with her mom who was an executive. Mom had been sick all week and thought she was having kidney stones and had even been at the hospital one night this week about it. Yesterday at her work she had groaned out in pain but did not want to go to the doctor.
Last night her ex-husband and another friend of the family had been over at her house helping with the child since mom wasn't feeling well.
This morning the mom called the ex to come over as she was throwing up and needed help getting the child to school and possibly taking her to the ER.
When he got there the mom was dead. The child didn't know. He told her she was sick and needed to go to the hositital. He called an ambulance and then had his older daughter come pick up the little girl. (SMART DAD)
IT was later that our principal and a counselor went over to help the Dad tell the child the news. SHe took it well they said.
MOm was 48-- an older mom and pretty. It is just so sad. They are doing an auptosy to figure out what happened.